Disclaimer: I own not, you sue not.
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"Now, you want to be confidant, but not come across as arrogant-"
"But you've got a huge ego and they still like you-"
"That is beside the point-"
"Strawberries! Can you believe it? Strawberries!"
"Get back here!"
"Eep!"
It was a relatively normal day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sirius Black was attempting to teach Peter Pettigrew to ask out a girl, James Potter had finally figured out what kind of shampoo Lily Evans now used, Lily was developing murder plans for James.
At least, it was a normal day for one teenaged werewolf by the name of Remus John Lupin.
"Potter! I'm going to kill you!" A furious redhead sprinted after a boy on a broom, who was clutching a pink bottle.
Remus sighed from his position on a very squashy red chair, which had been staked out years ago as his property. It was only a matter of time until McGonnagal explained this in first year orientation.
Glaring at the air for lack of something better to do, Remus marked his page and placed his book on the table beside him with jerky movements.
James was hiding near the ceiling, dodging the numerous hexes Lily was throwing at him. Remus placed a hand on the much shorter girl's shoulder.
"Lily, if he falls he might get hurt. Now matter how much of a prat he can be, do you really want that?" The sandy haired boy looked down at his classmate.
Lily considered for a moment, and then lowered her wand. "No. But he took my shampoo! Again!"
Remus sighed and ran a hand over his face, thinking hard. "I'll hide his Dungbombs for a month, okay? And I'll get your shampoo back."
"Fine. Thanks, Remus." Lily hugged the taller boy. "Why are you even friends with him? You're actually nice!"
"If I wasn't there to help keep him in line, can you imagine the chaos?" Remus asked, amused. Lily paled, images of the school sinking into a deep crack in the earth coming to mind.
"Thank you! You're my savior!" Lily beamed up at him, perfect white teeth flashing.
"I've been told that before. James, get down here now!" Remus's voice changed at the speed of light to something beyond deadly.
James gulped. "Aww, Moony!"
"Now!" Remus snapped. James knew from experience that it did not pay to mess with that day and landed on the ground.
"Now give Lily back her shampoo and apologize without asking her out." Remus commanded.
"Sorry, Evans," James muttered, sounding for all the world like a reprimanded toddler. He held out the shampoo bottle, which Lily took quickly and left.
"Now go do your homework. And no treacle tart at dinner tonight!" Remus shouted as James went to gather his books.
"Moony! Get over here!" Sirius shouted, waving frantically from his seat on the couch. Remus complied, taking a seat on his chair, which was very near the couch in question.
"Now, Peter here thinks that he'll do fine without being tall. Talk some sense into him so he'll let me cast a glamour charm!" Sirius demanded.
Remus gave Sirius a Look. Moony's Patented Look of Icy Death, to be exact. He had many Looks. "He'll do fine being short."
"Moony! You know better then anyone you have to be tall!" Sirius protested as Remus picked up his book.
"Why in the name of Chocolate Frogs would I know better then anyone?" Remus gave another Look of Icy Death over the top of his book.
"You're a tall bloke!" Sirius practically screamed. From anyone else, this most likely would have earned stares from the other occupants of the Common Room. However, the first years had stopped giving him startled looks a month ago, and everyone else was used to Sirius.
"Your point being?" Remus was indeed tall. He was the tallest one in the year, at five feet eleven inches at the age of fourteen.
"I give up! Who're you going to listen to, Pete, me or Moony here? I tell you, he's going to end up a professor one day-"
It was in this way that Remus Lupin obtained his first gray hair.
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