Nice Girls

"Fullmetal!" Roy exclaimed, his head popping up from its (most likely sleeping) position on his desk, light compression lines on his cheek mimicking the shape of his paperwork. He wiped a spot of drool off his lip and attempted to compose himself.

Any other situation and Ed would have grinned, would have not let Sleeping Beauty live it down. Instead, he flopped on the soft leather couch, rested his chin in his palm and sighed.

"Is there some reason you barged in? I'm very busy."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Taisa, what would you do if you had to compete for a girl?" the blonde boy burst out, somewhat less elegantly than he would have liked.

The colonel chuckled then stopped. Hmm. He didn't really know. "Compete? I'm not sure I follow?"

It had never really been his experience that he needed to fight. Usually the women flocked to him. He didn't have to do much to gather their attention. He frowned. Perhaps the fact that his competition in East City consisted of Havoc, Fury, Breda, and Falman helped. Perhaps that was why he kept them around. Hmmm...

"Are you even listening to me, Colonel Shit!"

Roy shook the distraction out of his head. "What?"

"I'm telling you something. About Al." Ed said, looking very sad.

Wait. The Colonel sat up. "Is your brother okay?"

Ed sighed loudly in a childish, frustrated tone, like he had just been grounded. "YES! He's just FINE! I'M the one who's not okay!"

"Well spit it out Fullmetal. I'm a busy man."

"I saw Al kissing Winry!"

Roy let out a sigh to match Ed's in childishness and rubbed roughly on the bridge of his nose. "Is that why you're here? I don't have time for this."

"You've got to help. I think they really like each other."

"Ed," Roy made a point to use the boy's real name in an attempt to calm him down, "Let them like each other. They're both nice people. They deserve each other."

"What about me? I'm nice..."

"No, you're not, Fullmetal. You don't deserve a nice girl."

Ed opened his mouth and gasped.

"You're loud, obnoxious, too focused on silly goals-"

"That's not true! Not now. We have our bodies back! What else do I have to search for?"

Roy simply continued his list. "You're arrogant, think far too highly of yourself-"

This time he stopped of his own accord. Oh. Hmm. Well that certainly did seem to describe himself. He sighed. It had to be said.

"I'm afraid that people like you...and me...don't get the nice girls. You just have to learn to want something else..." Roy trailed off.

Ed looked up with his mouth open. He was outraged...but he couldn't deny the truth of what Roy said.

"And besides. Winry never really seemed like your type. You need someone who can keep you in your place."

"Have you seen her wrenches!"

The colonel smirked. "You need someone stronger than you." He paused. "I've seen what kind of trouble you get into. I've seen that you hurt. And I've seen that you try to take it all on your shoulders."

Ed narrowed his eyes. What was the colonel trying to get at?

Roy threw his hands up. "What!"

"What are you getting at?" Ed asked suspiciously.

It was the colonel's turn to look shocked. "NO! By no means is that what I'm getting at!"

"Oh..." Ed said, sounding more dejected than he had intended. Roy did seem to know him pretty well. Would it be so bad if they maybe...

Roy, obviously flustered, turned his eyes back to his desk. "I think you can handle this on your own from here. Dismissed, Fullmetal."

Ed was slow to get up but eventually found himself at that door. Before he opened the door all the way, Roy spoke up.

"Oh, and Fullmetal. If you ever get tired of chasing after those nice girls, let me know."

Ed grinned softly and closed the door behind him.

Outside, Riza Hawkeye could have sworn that she saw him hop and click his heels together.

Surely she was mistaken.