A/N: Woohoo! A kindasortalonginshness chapter! Well, it's longer than most of my recent chapters have been... yeah, i knwo the ending is really bad, but i was just trying to introduce my character. Get over it. My internet's been out a lot lately. It is very very sad :'( But have gone through and completely Draco-themed my computer... twice. Ah, the wonders of a internet-deprived mind. Hmm, Draco, my newfound character obsession. Yayness.
I think that in a couple of chapters, I'm going to start the next story type thing... not actuallya different story, it just THINKS it's a different story... does that make sense? Like,OTBS I'm now the Girlfriend of a Sex God was a continuation of Angus Thongs + FFS. I might have to start my OTBS soon. Type thing. Because this one is getting long and icky and annoying.
I'd respond to all my reviews, but I'm much too lazy for the moment, I only really feel like responding to one.
Morei Sky: :OYou remembered my story! That's incredibible! I feel so loved.
I know Lucius is not gay, that's just what they think... I mean, if you didn't knwo, you might assume... the man is like an evil Legolas! Except you wouldn't catch him for love nor money running through the woods with a bow. But you might catch him in tights. No worries though, I will clear that up in the next chapter. Not thi one, the next one.I have a plan. And that is weird.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, i don't own this story, I don't even really own anything in here that vaguely resembles a plot, because if there IS something that vaguely resembles a plot, it's just the drugs you are taking, there is no plot in this. I do own a couple of OCs. Actually, a lot of OCs, because I'm too lazy to use characters that actually exist, so I make up my own. I don't own the quote 'Who knew he'd mothered a love child?' either, that is from .hack/Legend of the Twilight thinger.
Saturday, December 14th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Well, I've discovered why Holly was so fat. She was pregnant. Either that, or she is currently shatting something awful. But it looks like it's living, so I'll go with the first theory.
She's bleeding a lot. I don't think that's right. And, if it is right, I'll be very angry, because Holly decided to have her kittens on my bed. I don't know what to do, so I'm just sitting here with her. I don't want to leave to go get Lily, because then Holly will be unattended and something bad might happen. Sirius and James are at their routine detention, and Peter is wherever Peter goes when Sirius and James aren't around. Actually, they should be getting back soon. But for the moment, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.
Ooh, one of the little baby kitties is fully out now. It's all covered in gunk, though. Holly doesn't look too keen on cleaning it off… I'll have to put you away, Galaderwalderwitz, I'm gonna try and help the baby.
Later
Well, the other three came back. Peter walked in and fainted. Apparently he has no stomach for blood. James started freaking out, and Sirius ran to go get Lily.
The second baby isn't all the way out yet. Holly is having some serious problems… I'm scared. What if she dies? I'm really scared. But at least I'm not hysterical out like James is. I had to use a silencing spell on him because he was disturbing Holly. He's screaming and running around the room and pulled his hair so that it looks worse than it already did. Normally this would be very funny, but I'm really worried about Holly.
Now I'm really regretting slamming the door on her so many times. Mind you… she liked it. So I shouldn't be regretting it, should I?
Now Lily is here, and she's all worried because of all the blood. I have to put you away again so I can calm everyone down and figure out what we're supposed to be doing.
Later
Holly had six babies before she died from blood loss. Let's have a moment of silence.
Lily got really sad when Holly died. I mean, so did I, but Lily started sobbing really loudly and buried her head in my shoulder and cried for about forever. James gave me a really sour look and, from the look of it, started swearing colourfully at me, but I just ignored him. Sirius didn't really care, because he is a horrible person capable of no feeling whatsoever (actually, he just doesn't like cats, and he really mostly hated Holly). Peter was in shock, and every time he woke up, he just took one look at the blood and passed out again. We sent Sirius to lug him off to the Hospital Wing, because Sirius wasn't being any help.
Once Lily stopped crying, she called a house-elf (I don't know how she knows how to do that… she's like a wonder-woman of the Amazon or something, really) and got it to bring a bunch of little bottles of warm milk. We had to hand feed them. Plus, they kttens seem to have chosen me as their mother, and they wouldn't eat from Lily or James' bottles, so I had to feed all of them.
It was awful, all of them crying for food at once, and I could only feed one at a time… plus, Lily started crying on me again, and James refused to help me because of it. He seems to think it's my fault that Lily thinks he's a prat and prefers to cry on me.
Luckily, Sirius came back and seemed to forget that Lily was in the room, and he started getting ready for bed. And that would include changing. Lily made a face (caught between screaming and puking) and rushed out of the room. I didn't really notice though, I was too caught up being a mother.
I have time to write now, though, because the kitties are asleep. I should get some sleep myself; I'm exhausted.
Later
Oh crap. I forgot, the babies are sleeping on my bed.
Sunday, December 15th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Woke up to the sound of babies yowling for food. I slept on the floor beside my bed; wasn't very comfortable, but I stole Sirius's comforter, so it wasn't so bad. Of course, Sirius was very cold and angry when he woke up, but I had babies, so I kicked him out of the room for being too loud.
Peter came back from the Hospital Wing. "Why do you have a bunch of rats on your bed?" He asked stupidly as he entered.
I glared at him. A very EVIL glare. "They aren't rats, they're cats." He left the room and hasn't returned all day. I don't know if that's because of my EVIL glare or because he seems to be terrified of cats.
Why is it that no one in our dorm likes cats? I mean, I don't MEAN to not like them… it's instinctive. Werewolf thing. I don't know what's wrong with Sirius. I suppose he's just a dog-lover. Peter seems to be terrified of them… that's probably Mickey's fault. James doesn't really seem to care either way, but he hangs around more than the others because Lily is going to come up to see them and wants to see her… even though I know for a fact Lily has her friends on lookout to see when James has left the room and it is safe to come up.
Later
Oh crud. We're going home for the holidays on Tuesday – I'll have to take them with me!
Later
I'm bored. Plus I didn't go down for breakfast, so I'm hungry. And I have no chocolate left. I'm going to have to poke into James' candy stash and see if he has anything good.
Later
Skittles – bags of gay since 1903. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
Later
James got very angry with me for eating his Skittles. Actually, I think he was just still angry about the Lily thing, but he was using this to get it out on me. He started yelling at me again.
I started to put a silencing charm on him again (he was waking my babies), but Sirius stopped me.
"Don't worry, I'll look after them; you go into the common room and get yelled at by James." He said, grinning manically. In retrospect, I don't know how I left the babies in there with Sirius, he could have chucked them out the window or something, but a fuming James dragged me out of the room before I could protest.
After a lengthy and tiring session of being yelled at for everything from the state of my hair (James is one to talk) to the colour of my socks in front of all the people in Gryffindor, James let me go save my children from the terrible wraith of Sirius, who had decided that they weren't interesting enough to pay attention to after discovering that they couldn't tap dance.
Monday, December 16th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Hahahahaha! I got out of classes on account of I'm a mother. Apparently we weren't really going to be doing a lot in class today anyway, because we're going home for the holidays tomorrow (yessssssss!). I don't know why were didn't just go home on Saturday… oh well.
It turned out very strange at lunch, when I ventured out because my babies were taking a nap. I could here people whispering, "Who knew he'd mothered a lovechild?" as I walked past. It seems Sirius and James really had told people I'm a mother. It would be funny if it were someone other than me.
James isn't speaking to me now. And since Peter does everything James does, he isn't speaking to me either. Though, the Peter bit is kind of a plus, he never really said anything worth listening to anyway. I really didn't think James would get so worked up over Lily crying on my shoulder while I was trying to feed my six children.
Hah. Remus Lupin, age 11, mother of six. I'm so proud.
Tuesday, December 17th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
The babies were not at all content with leaving my bed behind. I had to take the bedding off my bed, put it in a basket, and put them on top. Picky, spoiled brats.
Well, now I know how Mum feels when she's around my sister and me.
James won't let me sit with the other Marauders. Of course, he would never actually say that, so he and Peter are playing exploding snap, thus making it impossible for my babies to stay there.
I was looking for Lily's compartment, as she is their sort-of Grandmother. It was very embarrassing, every compartment I passed asked why I was carrying a basket. So my kittens are getting a lot of attention, because everyone is petting them. Or commenting that they look like rats. Which they kind of do, but I will never admit. I am a nice mum.
Later
I was sitting in the compartment with Lily, Jenni and Louise (who were too busy playing with my children to poke me, thank God) when Jenni suddenly said, "They're so cute! What are their names?"
I did a mental jaw-drop. What kind of a mother am I? I didn't even name my children! Now I feel awful and incompetent.
Anyway, the nub and thrust of this entry is to tell you that I have now named each of my six children.
I call the white boy Otto Von Klawshauser, the grey tabby girl is Jimmi, and Baltimora is the multicolour patchy one. I began to run out of good cat names (I mean, you can't just name a cat 'Bob'… though I who would name their children 'Bob'! Not I.), so I just named the pair of black boys Sirius Jr. and James Jr. The last one, I let Jenni and Louise name, because I didn't want a Peter Jr., especially since it was a girl. The two ended up naming her Hermione(1), I don't know why, it's a terribly hideous name and I really regret letting them name her. I should've just named her Ginger or something (she's orange).
With cat colours like that, you'd wonder what colour the father was… some sort of amazing rainbow-cat.
Later
When we finally got to the train station, everyone rushed out to get their parents and get home. The platform was drowning in people. I looked out he window, and my parents were right in clear view. I guess everyone was cutting them a wide berth. Good grief, I had forgotten how hideously ugly my parents are. I really didn't want to be seen with them. So I stayed on the train and waited for people to filter off the platform.
Plus, the kittens were hungry and moving around and if I went out when they were awake then one might fall out of the basket and someone might step on it and –gag- oh God, I don't even want to think about it. So I stayed on until nearly everyone had left.
"Oh there you are! We thought you were back at school!" Mum said as soon as I stepped of the train, pulling me into a strong, weird-smelling hug. Did my mum smell that weird before!
"Er, sorry Mum, I was busy feeding Otto Von Klawshauser." I replied. Mum and Dad gave me really blank looks. "Didn't you get my owl?" I asked, suddenly suspecting how reliably Nightwish was. "I'm a mother!" Then I had to show them my babies, and tell them all about it.
And now, I'm in the car on the way home.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Two James-and Sirius free weeks! Celebrate! I have two weeks to do WHATEVER I WANT! YEAHHH!
Wednesday, December 18th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
I've forgotten how boring it is being home.
As soon as I got home yesterday, I had to feed my children and go to bed. Now I'm awake, the babies are asleep, and I'm completely bored.
Later
If Sirius and James were here, we'd be doing something interesting.
Later
Or at least I'd be bore din the company of others who do thing other than just yowl, sleep and eat.
Later
That's why I didn't include Peter.
Later
Ooh, I'm meeeaaaannn.
Later
I have spent the last two hours creating a bottle-feeder-warmy-thing for my babies. It holds bottles… and it keeps the milk inside warm, and it's built in a way that the babies can feed on it. Hence the name. Hopefully it will smell like me, so they will eat from it. Now I can leave my children unattended for a time.
Later
Wow. I have noooooooo life.
Later
New discovery! New discovery!
My parents are fighting!
Well, not physical, but you get the point.
Later
This is terrible! My parents can't fight! They're setting a bad example to the children!
Mostly me!
And my sister, but that's beyond the point. Hey...where is she, anyway?
Later
"Hello Mariah," I said in a glare-yfull tone (I know that's not a word, but I can't remember the word I was suppose to use) as I walked into her room.
"Hello Remus," She said hatefully back. It's just our way of greeting each other.
"So, what are you doing?" I asked, sitting down on her bed, where she was currently lying. I really do love my little sister, even if she can be annoying at times. But hey, it's in the younger sibling contract, from what she's told me. Also in the little sister contract.
"Just reading," She said, tucking her book away.
"So, where were you last night?" I asked. It's true; I didn't see her at the train station. Mind you, she goes to great lengths to avoid being seen in public with Mum and Dad. See, it's not just me who thinks they're hideously ugly! I don't know how they manage to be hideously ugly and still have relatively normal-looking children. Mariah is even considered really pretty amongst the nine-year olds and younger. I don't know how this genetics stuff works.
"At my friend's house," She replied innocently.
"And you're friend is more important than seeing your big brother for the first time since September?" Mariah snorted. As I said before, she doesn't go in public with Mum and Dad. "Do you want to see my children?"
"You have children?" Mariah raised an eyebrow.
"You know, I did owl… makes me wonder whatever happened to Nightwish…"
"Now you have to show me your children."
"I think they might be waking up anyway now… Mum and Dad, you know…"
So I showed her my children. She named them all her own names, rather than the ones that I named them. Unfortunately these names were things like Sissy-Boy Joe and Tuna-Breath Killerbee instead of Baltimora and Otto Von Klawshauser. But she someow still managed to call Hermione Hermione. She thought it was a cute name.
You know, I love Mariah to bits, but sometimes she can be very, very thick.
(1) – This was not a stab at Hermione Granger. This was actually a stab at my cat… even though I love her to pieces. I just thought it was kind of funny. Well, you know me, very strange sense of humour. Well, my cat's name IS Hermione… well, Hermione Wembly Princess Shine-Shine Bigglesworth-Schwartz. But we just call her Hermione. I do really have two cats… Hermione's brother is call Minion. Er… Minion Kisses Patrick Bigglesworth. I think Mitts-Mitts is in Minion's name somewhere, but I can't remember where… so, meh. No offense was meant to Hermione lovers. I love her to.