Sunrise over the Tango factory, Reddwarfaddict, Hermione 2000 and Giver-of-hope – cheers me dears! The last chappie is below, make my day - read it & review.

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Oh, you should have smegging seen it. Cat was hotter than a menopausal in a summer vindaloo convention.

With seemingly effortless grace, elegance, poise and beauty, Cat let loose about 27 rounds of bazookoid fire - ran like hell - shoved the mound of hair mousse bottles up his jacket and let loose some more shots.

Those things were so frazzled, that by the end of it, they looked like Rimmer's hair when Holly was in a bad mood.

Cat sauntered off, ah revenge was sweet! He looked around to see Lister, Rimmer and Kryten cowering in the corner, "Hey buds!"

They just looked at him.

A GELF stirred.

Cat looked at it, intensely, his hair standing on end. Those buggers weren't ever getting his precious hair mousse again. "You wanna try it bud?"

The creature's eyes were full with worry, it backed away, "No!" and to save the rest of them a lot of humiliation and pain he pressed the big red button on the teleporter.

The frazzled pink things disappeared.

The red dwarf posse looked at the feline with disbelief. Rimmer rubbed his eyes a couple of times and pinched himself, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Cat – you saved us!"

Cat grinned smugly. "Yeah, and I looked gorgeous doing it too!"

…….

Lister was stuck in bed. He didn't really mind, he felt goddamn awful.

Kryten saw his expression and said: "Don't worry sir; now that those mean old GELFs are gone you'll be fine in about a week."

Lister smiled, "So we can use… the self destruct mechanism on the teleporter, and those things will be stranded wherever they are?"

"Yes sir."

"That's a bit strange - we've actually got a bit of luck for once."

"You call this luck?" said Cat, "we've got no salmon and goalpost head's still here!"

Rimmer folded his arms, "I don't want to ruin the happiness or anything," strangely, he looked like he did, "but there seems to be a hole in your plan,"

"Why?"

Rimmer sighed, "Because… we don't know where they are stranded do we? For all we know they could be stranded here, waiting to jump out and decapitate us."

"That's it Rimmer, trust you to look on the bright side."

"But we do know where they are sir," Kryten said with a smile, "They're stranded on the planet of ohmygodabanana."

"Ohmygodabanana?" repeated Lister; it sounded familiar, "Isn't that where I was before?"

Cat butted in, "You mean the last time you got beaten to a pulp?"

"Yeah…"

"And we left you to die?"

"Yeah-" Lister started to feel uncomfortable.

"When you were all alone, and we didn't give a smeg?"

Lister shifted.

Cat persevered, "And when we were so nasty and spiteful to you and called you a fat ugly space bum and said that we'd rather die than be within an inch of you because you were so damn disgusting and after all that you still saved our butts?"

"What?"

Kryten stole the conversation back quickly, "Ohmygodabanana - yes sir, I think they will love it there. There are no other inhabitants and absolutely no barbeque sauce!"

Lister sighed, "No curry either; I don't know how I survived."

…….

Somewhere in the universe, or, more specifically, the planet of ohmygodabanana, the teleporter blew up into tiny fragments and swept away onto the breeze.

The pink creature holding it, said the only thing it could think to say at the time, which was: "Oh smeg."

It was having a bad day…

THE END

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Sorry for the crapness. But I didn't know where this was going really. Ah well… I finished - WOOHOO! Expect another fic soon, coz I have nothing better to do with me spare time… and I love writing. Oh yeah, and I love reviews – so write one! Toodles x.x