Dear reader,

If you have chosen this fanfiction in hopes of a happy story, I am sorry to tell you that you are mistaken. This story depicts yet another period of bad luck in the Baudelaire orphans' lives. In this short tale alone, they must face unfathomable terror, an old mansion, a tricky labrynth, spiky walls, and a villain more diabolical than even Count Olaf. If you enjoy stories of this sort, or just like scaring yourself out of your wits, continue, but please don't say that I didn't try to warn you.

With all due respect,

Sugary Snicket