Tormented Tears
Ed's close to a mental breakdown, from stress and fearing the thought of being alone. A run in with Roy could either save him, or destroy him. Maybe RoyxEd
Ed sighed. It had been so stressful lately. There were no leads so he was stuck in Central doing all their dirty work. Well, not 'dirty' as in like...murders or whatever. Just...lots of work. Meaningless or impossible. At the moment, he was being told to file paperwork. At first he'd thought, no big deal. But now...
"Can't they file their own paperwork?" Ed complained as he filed the 34,981,437,859,432nd piece of paperwork.
Of course, no one answered him, seeing as how he was alone. Al had been ushered off by Hughes to learn the divine art of.. UNIFORM WASHING! Yes, the younger and disembodied Elric brother had been sent to wash the uniforms of the military. He'd be gone for a long...long...long time.
"This is hopeless!" he dropped his head, using no strength to hold it up and he hit his forehead on the table he sat at. "Damn...it all...to hell..." he muttered, sighing in exhaustion.
He wanted to just sit there, just...be...no one bugging him, everything silent...All alone...
His eyes slit open a bit to reveal half-lidded, glazed, golden eyes. Alone? No...he had Al...Al would always be there...Al was his little brother...Al was...
"That's right...Al's my brother..." Ed admitted, seemingly depressed.
Al was his little brother, so that didn't count. What he wanted...was someone outside of Al...outside of Risembool...who cared.
He felt his head, he had a huge headache. He didn't have a fever, so he brushed it off as merely a headache and got back to work.
— — —
Roy walked down a hallway. It didn't matter which hallway. Just a hallway. Anyway hallway. He was just walking. The Flame Alchemist's mind was elsewhere.
He remembered how Ed seemed to be tired the other day. And the day before that. And the day before that. In fact, ever since even before the leads stopped coming he'd looked tired. It was beginning to bug Mustang and he couldn't figure out what was wrong with the boy.
Maybe he didn't get enough sleep? No. He could fall asleep as soon as he got off work everyday...When was it that he got off work usually anyway? Oh well.
Stress? Yep. That was most likely it. But stress from what? Roy had heard that stress caused sleepiness, headaches, spontaneous fainting spells, possibly delusions, and more. He had only seen the older Elric seemingly tired so...yea...ok.
He passed by the filing room and looked inside. Where were the files? He glanced inside and looked suspiciously from side to side.
"Ok listen up. I just finished filing all that stuff, so if you want something filed...file it yourself." came a voice, slightly tired, from behind the taller man. He turned around.
"Edward?" Roy asked. The boy looked totally bushed. No energy at all except that of which to stand up properly. The boy blinked and looked up at his visitor for the first time.
"Colonel?" he muttered, seemingly glaring. But it only amounted to a narrowing of the eyes, that was it.
"What? To short to notice who's standing right in front of you? Maybe I should leave you alone, shrimp." Roy joked. He smirked until he saw the boy's reaction.
He had expected the smaller alchemist to yell, scream, and try to attack the colonel. He had expected an over reaction to the words that had been said. He expected to smirk at his handy work after the words 'short' and 'shrimp' left his mouth. He hadn't expected this!
Ed's eyes seemed to lose all signs of life that had previously been in them. He stared at Roy Mustang, without really seeing him. The boy just stood there, looking like he had nothing left to live for. He looked about to pass out or die right there!
Ed inwardly died.
'Leave you alone'
'Leave you alone'
'Alone'
'Alone'
He gave up. Even thinking about it, it hadn't sunk in. But hearing the word come from someone else's mouth...it was too much. No one but his brother cared...no one but his brother would stand by him no matter what. Why live? It seemed the world had fallen apart and his life lay in pieces at his feet.
— — —
Inside, he lay on the ground, surrounded by those pieces and water, made from silent inner tears throughout his life. He lay there, not knowing any reason to move or even try to live. The pieces of his life faded away, reappearing some 10 feet away in a small pile. Everything he'd built up since losing his mom...it all lay right there...Now he lay in the pool of tears. Lifeless. With no purpose. Dead to the world.
— — —
Outside, he lowered his head. The boy's arms hung at his sides and it seemed amazing that he was still standing.
"Ed?" Roy asked, waving a hand in front of the boy. For a moment, there was no reaction.
His hand, still waving in front of the blonde's face, was suddenly caught by a gloved, metal hand.
"Hm?" he looked at the top of the smaller alchemist's head, as that was all he could see due to the lowered head.
Ed pulled Roy's hand closer to his chest and stopped just before it would have touched. Ed's other hand came up and closed around the larger hand too. For a moment...all Ed did was hold Roy's hand and seem to be examining it with his own hands, like a newborn baby would.
"Ed?" Mustang muttered, confused. Ed had never acted like this before. He was slightly concerned, and totally confused by the teens actions.
He was about to pull his hand away, Ed's seemed cold and dead, when he paused. Something was hitting his hand (his glove, but lets not be picky shall we?)...soft...seemingly wet...warm... Ed still stood still, and wasn't moving.
Roy retracted his hand and looked at it. The wet things were...tears? He gave Ed a confused look and then used his hand to lift the boy's head. He pulled back immediately after the action.
Ed was crying. His eyes flowed endlessly with tears. It seemed almost like they'd never stop. But...his eyes showed nothing...not even sadness was there anymore! The blonde's face was pale, and he had almost no body heat. Roy took a step back and it seemed to trigger something else.
— — —
'Ed?' came a resonating, soft sound. It was a voice. But...it seemed so very far away...
Ed saw, through what appeared to be a foggy mirror, that someone was waving a hand in front of him. He slowly reached out, as if to grab it. It was a slow movement, and a pleading one.
'Don't...don't leave me here...Don't leave me...alone...' he begged silently.
He felt his hand clasp over a warm, gloved hand and he pulled it closer. Ed was somehow standing up, and played with the hand as if seeing one for the first time. It seemed a marvelous thing. A hand. Something that was necessary for holding someone close, for picking something up, for...placing a comforting hand on your friend's shoulder.
'Ed?' came a confused voice. The blonde couldn't place the voice. He couldn't remember who it was that was speaking to him. In all aspects yes, he was just like a newborn child. All memories gone, all emotions except sadness and a slight wonder...gone.
He let the sadness take over, and cried. He cried because someone cared. He cried because it seemed like life was meaningless and he had nothing left to live for. He slightly recalled a boy name Al, his brother. But even a brother seemed worthless to him right now.
The hand was pulled away, and he cried harder. This time because now he was alone. The hand touched his chin and lifted his head. After a moment that seemed a lifetime, he recognized the person...in a hazy sort of way.
'Colonel?' a voice in the back of his head, that he could only guess was his, muttered. Strange, couldn't he even remember his own voice? How long had it been since he'd spoken if he couldn't remember?
The man seemed shocked at first, then scared. He backed away and Ed broke again...like a porcelain doll.
— — —
Ed's eyes showed more than a bit of sadness now. His step back brought something to them. Fear. Fear and sadness seemed to mix and create a world within those eyes that Roy hoped he would never have to enter. He had to admit, he was startled and slightly scared by the boy's emotionless face and cold skin. His dead appearance made Roy cringe. But now...his fear seemed to have tripled and was reflected by Ed.
The boy took a step towards a man he didn't seem to fully acknowledge. He reached out slowly, pleadingly, needing. Roy subconsciously took a step back, then glanced down at his feet with his eyes before Ed's next movement caught his eyes.
— — —
'No...don't...don't go...Don't...don't be afraid...Please stay...stay...' Ed begged when Roy backed away. He was afraid. Afraid that this man he knew only slightly as 'Colonel' would run away and leave him.
He managed to make his feet move and took a slow step towards the black haired man. He almost unconsciously reached out to him, pleading for help, needing him to comfort him. The Colonel took a step back and Ed's hand dropped.
— — —
Ed's face showed hurt, like he'd been betrayed or something. It was a new emotion to add to the others, not cover them up. His hands came up slowly, shakily, up to Ed's face. His fingers brushed his cheeks before his hands shot to his shoulders and he began to shake completely.
His knees gave out and he fell to his knees, shaking. Roy looked around, as if hoping someone was there to help the boy. He decided that no one was there and knelt down slowly. The shaking blonde had turned and looked at the ground and had begun to shake even worse. It was as if he was feeling a chill that no one else felt and it was getting colder.
Roy extended his hand and was close to touching Ed's hair. His fingers barely touched the top of the boy's head before Ed let himself fall over into Roy. Roy would've moved him back to a sitting position, but a wet warmth had now been given to his jacket.
'He's crying again...Did...I make him cry? No.' Roy remembered the past few days. 'It's finally happened. We've all dealt with it...at least once. Especially after joining the military. It's amazing he hasn't had a mental breakdown before now...'
Roy's thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from the boy he held, just barely, in his lap. He blinked and checked to see if he'd hear it again.
"D...don't...don't..." was the sound. Ed was crying, and had finally re-found his voice.
"Don't what Ed?" Roy asked softly.
"Don't...don't leave me...alone..." the blonde grabbed onto patches of the colonel's jacket and held as tight as his little strength could muster.
'Alone?' Roy asked himself. 'This mental breakdown was from fear of being...alone? Most likely an added mass atop a tower of stress and problems.' he thought, feeling more than a bit sorry for the blonde he held.
"S-stay...d-don't be...don't be a-afraid of me...I..." Ed's voice broke a bit as he tried talking. Roy blinked.
'Huh?' Roy didn't have a clue what the blonde meant. 'Oh!' he remembered stepping back when he saw Ed's face.
"I..." the boy couldn't find the words to describe himself right now, so he cried.
"Um...Ed...do you know...who I am?" Roy asked, also remembering the look of lostness in Ed's eyes earlier.
Ed shook his head, only slightly, and remained laying there...slightly embraced by Roy. The taller man found himself holding the crying teen closer. A few minutes passed. Nothing moved.
"R-roy..."said a whisper. Roy had barely heard it. Ed had stopped shaking for the most part.
"Hmm?" he looked down at the blonde hair, out of it's usual braid. He saw that Ed had more hair on his head than he let on. It was also...pretty long.
"Roy..." the blonde whispered again, a little louder.
— — —
Roy!
'Why is that all I remember? I remember dislike and rivalry...confused feelings...I also...feel a need...a need to...to see him...to feel his presence and I seem to want...to hold him...No, I want him to hold me.'
— — —
Ed held tighter to the person holding him. The warmth was so inviting. He looked up, eyes half lidded, and saw confused and worried black orbs staring back.
"Wh-where's...Roy...?" he managed. It seemed he was once again losing his ability to speak...even think straight.
"He's here Ed...He's right here... It'll all be ok..." Roy muttered, pushing the boy into somewhat of a sitting position and feeling hurt that Ed didn't recognize him. This was one heck of a mental breakdown. "What do you want with him?"
"I...I..." Ed tried. He cleared his throat slightly, Roy was on the edge in his mind, wanting to know what Ed wanted him for. "I don't...know..."
"Oh..." Roy's mind eased a bit. Though uncertainty still lurked in the shadows wondering why Ed had said his name in the first place. Ed seemed to stiffen as he was hit by some mental remembrance, then he softened. The motion was hardly noticeable.
"I want him to..." Came Ed's Near-Inaudible voice.
Roy gave him a look that said 'yes?'
"I want him to..." Ed swallowed with difficulty. "To hold me..."
Roy's mind froze. What?
"He...he gives me...th-the time of day..." Ed still didn't know who he was talking to, and his head had lowered a bit, not crying as he spoke.
A few tears fell from his eyes as he whispered the last part so softly that even Roy, right next to him, had to strain to hear it.
"I...I need him...Roy!" his name had been said in a way that showed such need, and plead, that Roy's heart felt like it had shattered.
'What am I doing? I must seem so unkind to him...sitting here, barely holding him up, as he cries. He must've been so lonely, only having his brother...I can't begin to imagine what he's been through, and yet I pile more work onto him than he's already had.'
Ed inhaled sharply as he felt himself being lifted slightly. His eyes were still hidden. Roy bent down a bit, placing a soft kiss in Ed's golden locks. Said boy gasped softly.
"I'm here Ed...I've always...been here." he whispered, tilting the boy's head slightly so that he was looking straight into Roy's eyes.
'Those eyes...His scent...' Ed's mind flashed back into working order.
Everything that had happened since the day he was born suddenly rushed back into his empty and pleading head. He didn't pay any head to Roy's face, coming closer. The past few years of his life flashed before his eyes and he felt a multitude of emotions flowing through him at once. Suddenly, everything fell into place. Why?
'It's so...so warm...' Ed's mind wondered slightly what it was, until his eyes focused and he found that he was being kissed by Roy Mustang.
'Roy...where's Roy...I want him to hold me...he gives me the time of day...I need him...'
Ed blinked, and then leaned into the kiss. He enjoyed the confusion shown on Roy's face when he did this, and tightened his hold on Roy's jacket.
"R-roy..." he managed, feeling more control in his voice than he had previously owned.
"Hmm?" Roy asked, not wanting to really break the kiss. He smirked at Ed's slightly opened mouth and inserted his tongue into the blonde's mouth, immediately earning a surprised gasp.
Ed tasted of honey and chocolate, probably what the boy lived off of. He didn't even fight back, but moaned slightly. His hands found their way to Roy's hair and he wrapped his hands in it, pulling the black haired man closer.
'Roy...This...this shouldn't...it shouldn't be happening...' Ed's mind thought futilely. His body wasn't listen, neither was Roy's. His jacket was off and his arms were around his superior. 'It can't...it can't happen!'
Ed moaned again as Roy kissed him roughly. Suddenly removing his mouth from Ed's, he left Ed with a tingling sensation. His lips traveled to Ed's neck, where he began kissing again. Ed gasped softly again, and Roy held Ed protectively closer. Ed's grip on Roy's hair became harsh. Roy's kissing traveled down the blonde's now lengthened neck, onto his shoulder, and now he was kissing the scars that showed the connection between metal and flesh.
"Roy..." Ed breathed.
"Shh..." Roy said a commanding voice, yet filled with care and emotion.
He brushed the metal arm with his hand and then raised his head and kissed Ed on the lips again. He felt Ed chew his lower lip and allowed entry. Ed now gained free roam of the black haired man's mouth. Roy put up a fight, somewhat, but soon gave in and allowed the boy his fun.
Ed was surprised. Roy tasted of coffee and somewhat reminded him of the spring. He put his hands on Roy's neck, and then put them around the man's waist. He left Roy's mouth, to the man's noticeable displeasure, and kissed the crook of his neck, laying his head there moments later.
Roy felt a rush run through him as Ed's blonde locks ran over his only slightly exposed skin. They were both fully clothed, but missing their jackets. He laid his head on Ed's head and both took in a deep breath at the same time.
"My...angel..." Ed muttered.
Roy looked into Ed's eyes for a moment. He thought bitterly about how he'd taken advantage of the boy's plight for his own reasons. But one look in the blonde's eyes told him differently. The teen was most certainly not still a mass of cold, crying, and lostness. His eyes showed so many emotions at once, the dominating one he couldn't place. But...he looked so happy.
"You care." Ed's voice showed more happiness and Roy smiled, brushing his nose against Ed's.
"I always have...Ever since...I first laid eyes on you..." he whispered.
He held Ed close before picking the boy up, he was still on Roy's lap, and walking off with him bridal style, picking up his and Ed's jackets as he went. Ed looked around and saw Ross coming around the corner. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep.
"Uh, huh? Colonel Mustang? What's-" she started.
"Fullmetal is ill at the moment and I will be taking him to the proper place to find treatment." Roy explained in his usual cold voice. Ed smiled slightly, but Ross either didn't catch it, or didn't care.
"Uh...uh...Y-yes sir!" she agreed, though not knowing what to. "I'll just..." she cleared her throat. "I've got work to do. Excuse me." she saluted, he made a nod, and she walked on.
"Treatment huh?" Ed muttered as they somehow reached Roy's house without being seen. Roy smirked. "And what's my illness, eh doctor?"
"Why, my dear alchemist..." Roy said as they entered his living room, locking the door behind him. "You are apparently gay!" he laughed. Ed glared slightly.
"You are too, apparently." Ed said in a slightly mocking tone. Roy just smirked again at this.
"Of course. Which is why our only treatment has to be, each other!" he said joyfully, entering his bedroom.
Ed smirked. This was gonna be fun!