Part 10

Whenever she looked at herself in the mirror, when she saw the baby growing beneath her heart and that too old look in her eyes, she remembered him. She liked to remember him, some part of her at least. No matter what else she felt right then, she did. It had been so long since she had first run, so long since he had held her, since she had had held him, and comforted herself in his embrace. Yet it seemed like only yesterday instead of just under a week since she'd almost killed him. She ducked her head, eyes filling. Almost killed him for telling the truth. For his righteous anger. Marie wiped a rogue tear away. He was more than a man to her, he was more than Remy- and more than Gambit, the ragin' Cajun... he was inside her.

She could still feel him, in her head... and she understood him... even more than she understood herself. That was the only blessing. Feeling him. And she didn't deserve it, not with what she did to him. But on those lonely nights, she would reach out to him, and he would be there. As she grew, as she changed, the only thing that didn't was that he was still there. Inside of her, still so angry at first, then comforting her like he had for those fleeting days when everything had still been beautiful and right. It was need, it was intimacy, the only real intimacy she had ever had. At nights, she would close her eyes, her palms over her stomach, and she would reach out to him... and he was there... he was always there. Until he began to fade. She still didn't know how he'd lasted as long as she did.

Maybe it's 'cause she hadn't wanted him to leave her, maybe because having him in her mind, just below her consciousness, was something she needed in her, like a blanket. It was proof that he existed... that what had happened was real... that there was someone like him out there... that he was still out there. Proof outside this wonder she carried with her, this miracle. His feelings inside her had been soft, quiet, and yet at times violent... and when they began to leave her she hadn't fought it... she'd thought it was time to move on... to try and get past it... As some part of her thought/hoped he had. She hadn't wanted to believe his love was true because of what it meant. She'd been beginning to think she'd imagined it, and she'd been relieved. Because she, of all people, knew that that kind of love brought only pain.

And then he found her again. And she wasn't surprised... she felt him inside, getting antsy, his consciousness fading and not liking that one bit... he was like that... He didn't give up easy. He never really did. She didn't know why she'd been expecting to see him. But she had. And there he was, next to her... and it was like nothing had changed. And she touched him, an angry touch supported by fear. And with that fading caress... It all lit up inside of her. Every emotion, every thought, the feel of him, inside her, who he was... who he wanted... what he wanted. So she got scared. So she ran again. He'd never want her back now. He'd never forgive her. She'd made a mistake. A huge one. Marie knew that now as she hadn't before. Funny how the past always comes back to haunt you, affecting you in ways you would've never imagined. And it wasn't always noticeable, wasn't always easy to overcome. And it was surprising who finally helped her realize that…

She had gone back to visit the Brotherhood two days after she got back to Bayville; two first days that she had used to try and stabilize herself, to try and settle what was inside her- to some extent. And it took her two more days to bring herself to tell her friends what had happened in all the time she had been gone. She'd been so taken in by the warmth, joy and welcome they'd offered after not seeing her for so long she hadn't wanted to ruin it with the confession of what she'd done. Though the Brotherhood had taken it in stride, and hadn't condemned her like the X-men. They'd already almost made her cry with their combined outrage at how the 'X-geeks' turned on her and declarations that they didn't deserve her.

But Toad and Blob had been surprisingly sympathetic, Pietro had just made her blush/laugh by saying that pregnancy or not she was still gorgeous and he'd be happy to take away her blues (besides saying Gambit had all that coming), Lance made her think and Wanda made her see. She'd felt guilty when Lance had told her of how hurt and worried Kurt and Kitty had been with her departure, Wolverine, when he had been there (when he wasn't out looking for her) had been even more dark/brooding and quicker with the claws. But what left her reeling was when he told her that in her absence Kitty had turned into a little spitfire, taking on the rest of the X-men and tearing into them (even turning her anger on Xavier and Ororo) and at the least knocking some guilt into the team.

He said according to Kitty, even Jean had been quiet/reflective and sad- and Scott looked pretty remorseful/ guilt-ridden too, keeping to himself a lot of the time. And part of her had been smug/satisfied he felt so bad. Yet she was also thoughtful. And Marie had been laying back on the couch alone reflecting, Pietro off on some date, Toad in his room, Blob in the kitchen whipping something up, and Lance out with Kitty (whom he'd promised not to tell she was back yet) when Wanda walked in. She had given her a half-hearted smile, trapped in the dark vortex of her mind, only slightly aware of it when the girl she'd often identified with sat down next to her, asking her what was wrong. So she'd confided in her, biting her lip and knowing that she must sound completely crazy or bitchy but also that Wanda would understand. Though her insight had surprised her.

Marie shook her head with a half smile. Memories of her conversation with the raven-haired Goth, mostly of what she'd said to her, came into her mind. "As corny as it sounds, I heard that sometimes our emotional programming can cause us to seek out emotional situations that are similar to those we experience in childhood, positive or negative. We gravitate to the familiar, you know?" Wanda had shrugged but Marie saw a flash of pain in the cerulean eyes. "When you're young, your home is the main source of love and safety in your life. Even if there was violence or chaos in your house, it's still 'home'- where you're fed, where you had a place to sleep and received some sort of attention. So you associate love with home- and home with other characteristics based on your experiences there." Wanda had met her gaze, lips tipped up in a wry smile.

"Like if there was just a lot of fighting in your house, home equals chaos. If one of your parents were abusive, home might equal fear. And if you weren't shown much love or affection, or you were abandoned or betrayed, home equals loneliness, abandonment and betrayal." Marie winced at that, face stricken, not only for herself but for Wanda. "So your mind tells you that love is supposed to feel like chaos, loneliness, abandonment/ betrayal and fear." She swallowed, murmuring, "You unconsciously choose what is familiar." Her baby gave a kick almost as if in sympathy and she put a hand on her stomach, a wave of strength and comfort filtering in. Wanda nodded, closing her eyes briefly, "And you anything like me love in your brain is associated with danger and pain. So of course it wouldn't feel right to be loved, of course you wouldn't be attracted to 'nice guys' or guys that would otherwise be perfect for you. Because it feels too good- or it feels too peaceful to be love."

The raven-haired girls' eyes darkened and Marie knew she was talking about herself as well. "Or you could love someone in childhood- your father, your mother, your big brother, another guardian, but if they took something from you- your power, your self-esteem, your innocence, your voice, you unconsciously think of them as 'the enemy'. So when you get older, meet someone and you love them, automatically in your mind you think 'people I love are the enemy. I have to hold my ground' so you end up sabotaging it and you remain unhappy." Marie ducked her head but words and images came at her- ghosts of her past. Then Wanda's came at her, her stolen telepathy picking up the strong vibes. The stripe-haired girl looked up at Magneto's daughter in wonder and amazement. She was right. She saw image from Wanda's past, and they could've been a copy of her own- pain, loneliness, anger, pushing people away. A long line of them.

Then came another one, the last one. A recent memory. Wanda embracing someone- the Acolyte Pyro, or St. John Allderyce. Marie laughed. So that was why the other girl had been absent so much lately- and why she'd been so happy. And, knowing she'd gotten it, Wanda's smile was almost blinding. She had done it. There was hope. 'If you can only get past the pain, if you can only finish that unfinished emotional business from you childhood,' the echo of a thought reached her. Her look turned reflective, brows furrowed. Musing over this new advice, these new revelations/truths, she'd barely noticed Wanda leaving. 'Irene. Mystique.' She thought. A hot stab of pain hit her. She'd face them first. Then she needed to see Kitty. Then she needed to face the X-men.

She didn't want to forgive Irene for hurting her as a child. As she stood in front of her house in Caldecott County, Mississippi she thought of all those painful, lonely years as a child, after her birth mother abandoned her, without touch even then and without trust. Irene had been afraid of her even then, afraid to get close, because she had seen what 'Rogue' could do- though unknowingly she contributed to their manifestation. The shock of that gentle touch, that first real contact outside that of the woman who'd adopted her, had thrown her powers into gear. She'd wanted to hate her. Not as much as she wanted to hate Mystique, but she had. Yet after facing Irene, with all her hurt and anger, and seeing the blind woman's fear and regret, something changed. And she couldn't tell whether it was due to the child in her womb or not.

But she'd stalked out of there, coldness and disgust radiating from her though part of her was settled, and she set her path for Mystique. Mystique had gotten the worst of her frustration and pain and anger, had gotten more when Marie physically went at her, but Mystique she also felt a closer connection with- despite the fact she hurt her ten times worse than Irene. The emotions ran wilder, but also deeper- and it wasn't all just hatred and hostility/negativity. And when the fighting was through, Marie using her stolen powers without much movement and Mystique dodging, trying to get her own blows and scratches in, when they were both panting and visibly weakened, they broke apart and stumbled back. "So what's this fight about Marie?" Raven heaved, expression going between pique, irritation, frustration and a wary/hurt look. Marie pretended not to notice, eyes flashing. "What isn't this about?" she shot back, half circling the blue woman. "But maybe I thought I'd get a few things cleared up now that I'm going to have a child myself."

"A child…" Raven whispered, shaking her head, all these rare emotions displayed again for anyone to see. She reached out, placing her palm over the stripe-haired woman's stomach and Marie felt a slight, fiery sensation before, to her shock, Mystique jerked her hand back in a hurry, cradling it. She'd burned her! But how! The child, she realized dazedly. Her and the blue mutant had been fighting, then she touched her stomach and got burned. Her baby girl already had her powers and she wasn't even born. "What..!" Raven gasped, looking at her, wide-eyed. Marie forced back her own confused, dazed, shocked expression and put one on of smug knowing. A dangerous spark in her eyes, she continued, "You wanted to know what it's about? It's about my childhood, or lack there-of. It's about you adopting me at four, caring for me, then leaving me to Irene's questionable care. It's about my powers developing and your hatred for the X-men driving you to terrorize an already scared and confused girl. It's about Risty."

Pain shone from her adopted mother's face and it was impossible not to notice. Marie felt a pang in her heart but toughened herself up, telling herself this had been coming to her- that it was her time. "You don't know the whole story." The stripe-haired girl curled a lip though part of her was curious. "Oh really?" A spark of anger lit in Raven's eyes but she slumped, defeated, against a stack of crates. "Me and Erik were involved a long time ago. Both of us had infant children but neither of us cared. We… came together over shared goals and beliefs." Marie just looked at her shocked, trying to absorb this fact while the blue woman continued. "Later he started getting into mutant testing, experimentation with genetics and such… improvements and manipulation. He used Pietro and Wanda as subjects. Then Kurt was involved. Something……happened. I ran, and in the process lost my baby boy. I was devastated." Raven looked up at her with grief in her eyes. "I searched and searched but with no luck. But I found this precious little child… you. I adored you. I could almost pretend that you were mine. It wasn't just because of your powers, Marie. It never was." She turned her head away.

"But my continued searches for Kurt took me further and further away. Then there were problems… with the world then, with my life, with Erik returned. And Xavier…." she added with a hiss, hands clenching into fists. Marie was surprised at her vehemence. But the shapeshifter didn't explain. "I had to leave you," Raven said sadly, turning back to Marie. "So I left you with Irene. I told her to do whatever she had to to make things right, to see you were happy and healthy. But even when I exhausted my leads, my resources and almost all hope was lost finding the child I bore, I couldn't return to you. I made a deal with Erik. He would help me. Yet I didn't want him to find out about you or your great promise. Not because I didn't trust him, though my trust was weak, not that I thought he would hurt you, but for my own selfish reasons. And I knew he'd want you. The years passed quicker than I thought they would- especially with the break down in Europe." Again, she didn't elaborate.

Her adopted mother bowed her head. "I found my son. But by that time Xavier already had him in his firm grip. And I was the enemy. You were practically all grown-up and I didn't think you would want me back in you life. Not after I tried to see you again that last time." Marie was the one to look away this time, jaw clenched. 'You were wrong,' she thought sadly, even knowing how angry and stubborn she'd been then- Irene's explanations and platitudes or no. 'I was wrong. I still wanted you back, I still needed you… I still cared.' Raven said softly, "I figured I had another chance when Irene called me and told me your powers had emerged. I was scared, worried, angry at myself, even more when I discovered Xavier's team was on his way too, but still hopeful. I don't know what provoked me, but I knew I couldn't lose you again, I knew I had to mend things, had to get you first. So I had to make sure Xavier's team didn't succeed. Ever." She laughed harshly, wryly, "But it was because of that I truly did lose you."

Marie's eyes were teary, her voice hoarse as she fought a battle within herself, and she was on her feet, pacing, remembering. "You could've just come to me, could've explained, could've helped me through that. I would've gone with you!" The shapeshifter smiled sadly, "No you wouldn't have. You would've one with them just too spite me if you could, just to rebel. And Xavier can be very persuasive. I couldn't take the chance." Marie glanced away, knowing she was right. "I was scared, and confused. I put a boy in the coma, just by touching him! I had his memories, his voice in my head! I didn't know what was happening to me! And then you—" she cut off, unable to continue. When she met Raven's eyes again, tears were streaming down her cheeks. Mystique's apparent pain didn't make her feel any better. "And why Risty?" she raged, "Why? Why did you do that to me! Pretend to be my friend, get close to me, make me care, then—" she choked.

"I wanted to be in your life! Even if you couldn't come back with me, be on my side, be my daughter again. Even if Xavier had you, I wanted, needed that! What was so bad about that!" Marie couldn't respond to that, but her eyes flashed. Her baby kicked again and she smiled tremulously for a moment, putting a hand on her big stomach. But her gaze narrowed on Raven, swallowing, expression suddenly chilled, fierce. "It was still a betrayal. My whole life is full of them, of you. I was never able really trust someone, much less love them after that. How am I supposed to now?" She sobbed. "I had an okay life, not good, but I got by. Then I met this amazing guy, and I push him away, hurt him, and it's killing me. And now with my child…" The tears came faster, her body wracked by them, and suddenly Raven was there, her arms around her. Marie just leaned into her, both of them crying. It was Raven's fault…. The X-men's fault…. her fault, she realized. All of this… "I'm sorry baby," she heard Mystique whisper. Her mother. Not by blood, but by choice, by love.

Where they touched, skin-on-skin, tingled and Marie felt a familiar tingle, forgetting her control with the intensity of the moment and their emotions. She stiffened, crying out as Raven's memories and feelings rushed through her, she pushed her away, putting her head in her hands as she tried to assimilate it. She could barely hear, "I'm so sorry. It seems I have a habit of ruining people's lives. I certainly did a job on ours…" "Must run in the family," Marie choked out, half-laugh half-sob. They both laughed, drying their tears. Why didn't she see all this before? Why couldn't she have known all this sooner? So much time lost, so much hurt because of it. "I'm sorry too," the stripe-haired girl said softly. "For my part." She put her hand on her stomach. And Raven, tentatively reached out again, her hand on Marie's, on her stomach. A brightness and warmth burst over her this time, over them both, and she smiled.

"Everybody has to grow up and face their past, their mistakes sometime. Or live a life of pain and regret. Not much of a life, really. It's a crazy family we got, but it'll work. We can make it work." A shadow stole over her face, and she turned her head. "X-men will see soon enough that their perception of right and wrong, their foolish idealism and picture of the world is far different from reality. This is reality. Their blindness, their stubbornness and ignorance, their scheming… I don't need any of it. And when I face them…" She laughed coolly, a bit harshly, and Raven put a hand on her cheek, turning her head back towards hers. "Promise you'll be extra careful." Once Marie would've sneered and sit out something like 'A little late for motherly advice' or 'After all these years, you decide to be concerned now!' but instead a small, soft smile curved her lips. "Aren't I always?" At her adopted mothers' look she grinned, "Okay, I promise. After all, I have another to care for now." She stood up, giving Raven a last hug before she left.

But her confidence and surety was dwindling as she strolled through the mansions' gates with false casualty. Her confidence and surety was dwindling, but her anger and a welcome, cool numbness was growing. She could feel the eyes on her, though her escalated power allowed her to block the telepaths' from her mind, and she turned to give them all a chilling look. As far as she was concerned, they were all on her hit list. A bunch of narrow minded, idiotic, traitorous… Wait, was this her or Mystique? She shrugged. A combination of both then, who cares?

As she was headed up the steps, she knew everyone, or most everyone, had already been informed of her arrival… and her condition. She grinned wickedly. Well, let them talk. She'd meet their hatred, hostility and coolness with the like, freeze them in place, and meet their fear with laughter. Marie burst through the big front doors, startling several younger and older students, and saw Kurt, Scott, Amara and Bobby coming down the grand staircase, Logan rounding the corner from the kitchen. Seeing her, he just smirked, but she could see in his eyes he was real glad to see her there. She grinned back almost goofily, silently telling him that she'd talk to him later and filling him in on a few things as well as a laughed mental note 'after I talk to Kitty and stick it to Xavier and the rest, I'll find you again.'

He took all this in with a nod and a smile, rounding the corner again, and she greeted the rest with cold looks and a fearsome expression as she stormed up the stairs, brushing them of like flies. Except for Kurt, that is, she gave him a hug, a warm greeting, and talked a bit before she turned to find Kitty, who was just heading back to her room after a DR session according to her brother. She gave him another hug and invited her to come with him but though she could see he wanted to catch up some more, he held up a hand and said that if she needed to talk to Kitty then go do so and he'll see her later- he wasn't much interested in girl talk, he laughed. Nodding, she gave Scott an evil look, and went upstairs.

Jean couldn't sleep again. It had been getting harder and harder over the past few months. And she didn't care to admit to herself why. Stretching, she left for the bathroom, running her slender fingers through her hair and looking at herself in the mirror. It was a tired face that looked back. Jean's telepathic mind had its merits, of course, but her curiosity and empathy for others made her need to use it that much harder to resist. The look of tension on Scott's face when he saw Gambit again, the sight of desperate worry in Marie's eyes, the infinite sadness in the young girl's face that never seemed to quite go away. Jean leaned against the dresser, taking a breath, her morning suddenly clouded with thoughts of the girl with the old eyes. The young woman had surprised them all.

Despite her looks, and her wisdom and maturity of the people who's memories she had absorbed, it was still a hard adjustment to make, to stop treating Marie like a child and as a comrade instead. A soft smile that turned into a grimace made Jean shake her head. It was impossible really, to try and read Marie. Unlike Scott, who she knew so well, Marie's mind was a lot like Logan's. Wild, fearful, and at times, frightening. And it was in those times, when Jean got a glimpse, that she felt for the girl the most. It was hard to know how to talk to her. Marie had a good heart, albeit a bit wild, and to absorb so much and know so much and try to process it while fighting fears so deeply ingrained all at a time when you barely knew yourself… It was indeed a frightening prospect. She had felt the prickling, the desperation in the young woman's face the days before she'd disappeared again, and like always, Marie refused to share, blocked herself out.

It was dangerous. A maelstrom was going through the woman's mind, and bottled up the way it was, Jean knew the danger of cracking. And Marie was the last person they needed to crack. She took another breath, running the comb through her hair and changing out of her work-out clothes, dressing quickly and quietly. Shutting the door quietly behind her, the telepath walked down the corridor, gently reaching out as she always did in the mornings, to check over the others, to find Scott's. Which was caught up in very intense but confusing, and to her painful, thoughts/fantasies. About Marie. Squeezing her eyes shut, she jerked her mind a way. She knew it wasn't anything, right? Surely those lingering feelings couldn't touch what they had… could they?

She took a breath and tried to think of something else. Her steps paused slightly as she approached the room that had always held a different aura. Marie's dreams had been an outlet for the young girl, and when Jean had expressed her concerns to the professor about allowing Marie to experience them, and the Professor had merely entered her mind and told her to leave Marie be. She shook her head. She couldn't just leave Marie be. Not when the girl was hurting so- Her mind stretched out, seeking, and Jean paused. Confused but heart a little lighter. Speaking to Kitty, her mind had calmed, not quite peaceful, but for Marie, it was close. There was still agitation, pain, when Gambit's name was brought up once more…. But love, ah, there was love there too. And acceptance. She shut down the link, closing her eyes, and taking an inward breath.

Marie always had an attachment to Gambit, for a while now anyway- it was only natural. She had wanted Gambit to find Marie, knowing somehow the tortured souls could find a link in each other, knowing as she tried to peruse Marie's taxed mind that maybe he was the one person who could break through to her. She had encouraged it in her mind, and to Marie. And then she had seen the sheer desperation, the pain in her face, and suddenly it was all wrong. Jean leaned against the door, the conflicted emotions seeping inside of her, and when she heard the movement inside, she quickly walked away. In her troubled state, she knew that the only one who would be able to make sense of it, the only one with any right to know, was her mentor. And Storm with him.

He leaned against the wall, watching the door of the room Marie had been closed off in for over an hour, Kitty's room, and catching bits of the conversation. Scott didn't feel a thing inside his chest where he knew his heart should be. He closed his eyes, and took a ragged breath, and then turned, walking to the door and knocking lightly. There was movement heard inside, and Scott stepped back when the door opened. Apparently, somewhere along the journey to find herself, Marie had realized that her gift did not necessarily mean a loss of style, or femininity, and it showed. Only over the months the skin tight black blouse was traded in for a looser shirt with butterfly sleeves in deep purple that drifted softly over her, the slim fitting leather pants switched with soft black slacks that had an elastic waistband. But the boots remained.

The outfit accented her figure perfectly, made to reveal the beauty in the pregnant form, flowing where it needed to flow and snug where it was supposed to be snug. The short leather gloves on her hands were hidden by the long sleeves of the black trench coat she had chosen. It was cut simply, draping inwards slightly at the hips and flaring out, ending at her knees. The style was modern, sexy and somehow even coming close to being immodest, despite the fact that she was covered almost completely head to toe. And his eyes went back to her rounded stomach. Scott felt himself swallow, emotions rising in his chest. Damn it. "Scott," she greeted coolly, warily. He noticed her looking at him oddly.

Behind her he could see Kitty rising to her feet, as if standing by in case Marie needed her. "What is it this time?" He gave her a small smile despite all the negativity, veiled animosity he felt from her. "Professor X wants to see you." "Now?" she asked, raising a brow. "Yeah." She gave him another look, but when he only returned it, she shrugged. "Alright. I'll see him before I leave. He'll just have to wait a minute. Wonder why he didn't just go into my head and summon me like he usually did," she muttered more to herself. "He figured that would be... intruding," Scott answered for her anyway. "Sure." She snorted. Like Xavier was really worried about intruding now. She looked back at Kitty before her gaze found Scott's again. "You gonna stand there all night?"

"Right. In a minute then." The field leader of the X-men coughed, feeling like the fifteen-year-old he no longer was as he ducked his head, walking back to the door. Leaning against the door outside, he shook his head. Five long years. It had taken Gambit one day to throw it all away. One damn day. Forget that Jean had been there with him, been his first and closest friend, maybe more, for even longer- forget the tenderness and affection he felt for her but pushed aside without analyzing. And forget that fact he missed four months afterwards and another three months after the make-up day.

Scott smirked to himself at that- at Marie having left him twice. But then the look fell, turning bitter. Scott had seen it coming. The minute she'd gotten back from New Orleans, he'd seen the difference in her, the look in her eyes when she recounted her vacation- carefully leaving out her fling of course. Then again that night the all the truths came out. It had scared the hell out of him, and Scott knew now, the sparkle in Marie's eyes could only mean one thing. She was in love with the bastard. DAMN.

The professor's face was hard to read, and Jean Grey sat back in her chair, not wanting to reach out to him, so tense herself she didn't have the patience or the discipline it took to cloud his mind. Licking her lips, she looked to Storm. But the older woman just shook her head, looking back to Xavier. And the redhead wondered if the two were communicating privately. Then Xavier spoke aloud, breaking the silence again, "We'll have to keep this quiet." Jean closed her eyes, nodding. "It disturbs you?" Jean smiled wearily, rubbing her temple with the slender fingers. "Should it?" Xavier was quiet, leaning back on his chair. "I knew it would happen, sooner or later." "Marie and Gambit?" Her voice broke the stillness, her eyes opening. "Marie and anyone," he remarked, brows furrowed, a frown on his face.

"Marie is a very passionate woman. And quite the dreamer, despite the pain she's put herself through by choosing to deny her true feelings and pretend she's not," Ororo sighed softly, shaking her head. Xavier nodded at that, frown deepening. "She's conflicted," Jean observed softly in silent agreement, running her hands through her hair. "And rightly so. Scott's pain before we found him was minimal compared to some of what she's gone through," Ororo commented. She remembered the day her, Xavier and Jean had taken in the young man with the laser eyes. He'd learned to hide behind his mask, and it had taken Jean years to break through the invisible barrier Scott had erected around himself. He had made himself believe that his affliction would hurt anyone he got close to, and only recently had he been truly able to believe that his affliction was not a handicap, but a gift. Scott had been able to move on with his life.

"Marie, I'm afraid, was not so lucky," Xavier said aloud with a sad smile. Xavier had not realized how affected Marie was by the memories in her head until she began to act differently towards him. There was a sad affection in her eyes as she looked at him, a tender familiarity swathed with disappointment and confusion that he felt directed at him. He had attempted to read her/ reach out to her, they all had, Ororo getting the closest of the three, but her mind had closed down, almost as if she'd done it purposely. Absorbing Mystique all those times had affected her greatly. Mystique and all the others of the Brotherhood. Not to mention Magneto. Yet he still hadn't realized what had really happened until the day she was in his office, having her personal conference, and she slipped and accidentally called him "Charles," in a familiar drawl that made him freeze. She had flushed immediately, tried to close herself off, and Xavier wouldn't have it.

He had sat with her, made her talk to him, and he was glad he did. The knowledge that the young girl had seen everything Eric had seen, had known what Charles was like in a time that seemed so long ago... It was both heaven-sent and a bit frightening. But Charles knew she couldn't see that shook him, and instead of reacting as she would've suspected, with disbelief and embarrassment, he'd nourished it, talked about her memories, their shared memories. She had been fascinated with Magneto, with Eric. He was in her head, swimming, mingling with all the others, and Xavier was often afraid that Eric's rather warped views of mutant/human relations would afflict her. Combined with Logan's temper and Remy's explosive personality now bubbling under her surface, it could not be good at all.

But no, she had explained to him late one night, that although she understood Eric's convictions, she didn't entirely agree with them. And it was during those long nights of chess that she would speak slowly about the horrors Eric had faced, seen things that Eric had never told Charles. She was still very much the girl, but her eyes were old, sometimes fiery, like Logan's, sometimes sad, and wise, like Erik's- sometimes cold and vengeful like Mystique's. In those long night sessions, he had gained a friend, and she had gained a bit of control... control that was almost torn from her the day she absorbed Mystique at the concert and everything in her revolted. They'd almost lost her that day- she almost died. And she hadn't been the same since. All that hard work… And now they were close to losing her again.

Maybe this is good for her. The statement invaded his mind, tearing him from his thoughts, and he looked up to Jean, her eyes somewhat brighter. "I felt her... she... was peaceful peaceful. As much as she's been in a long while anyway." "Then why did you come to me if you think this is good for either of them?" Jean's eyes flickered down and she said nothing. Xavier closed his eyes, his mind flowing, thinking, and finally he sent out the words he had carefully chosen. 'Their powers are destructive. They've almost killed each other before. I care about Marie.' So does he 'I warned them not to do this. This is something she does NOT need.' Jean could sense the unnatural anger that accompanied the tone and her eyes opened in surprise. And confusion.

When had he been in contact with either the Rogue, much less the Acolyte? But she asked after the second part, "How do we really know that?" The silence that followed the spoken sentence was broken when the door opening signaled they were no longer alone. "Someone call for a bonafide southern girl?" As Marie leaned inside the doorway, Xavier let himself smile a bit. She had certainly changed. Become more assured, more comfortable with herself. The corners of her lips were tipped up, a soft amusement on her face, reminders of her visit with Kitty. She stood on the doorway, hand gripping the oak panel. She was dressed in solid dark colors, her choice both becoming and sophisticated while comfortable.

The shock of white in her long auburn hair seemed to complete the ensemble perfectly, and the glint in her eyes that accompanied it sprinkled with a wisdom, mystery, and cool wariness. Her codename had been chosen well. Rogue indeed looked the part. "Good morning, Marie," Jean said, turning, smiling tightly. "Mornin'." She closed the door behind her, and nodded to the professor, and eyebrow lifted and a coolly amused smile on her lips as she leaned back on it. "There some reason why you want me right quick? Special mission or a game of chess? Or maybe to formally welcome me back because you know—" The look on their faces made her trail off and her expression faltered when he said passively, "Sit down, Marie."

For the first time in a while, Jean was scared to wonder what someone was feeling. The room was dead silent, and she shuffled in her chair, feeling her heart shudder within her. She could feel Marie's wild eyes on her, could sense the judgment, and she closed her eyes against them. Oh, Marie... I'm sorry... I had to- "Get the hell out of my mind." The statement cut through the air, and Xavier sat up, his eyes warily watching the young mutant, his face full of sad regret. "Marie, you don't understand. What we're saying-" "What you're sayin'," she interjected slowly, forcefully, looking up, her eyes flashing. "Is, on top of everything else, that I'm too much of a loose cannon to get involved with someone that's just as dangerous as me. You think we can't handle it. You don't trust him, and you don't trust me."

She curled a lip in disgust, "After that night, the night everybody turned on me and I became a stranger/a traitor to my own friends and family, I would've believe this of everyone else- but not you Xavier. Not you. And Jean, Storm…" The look on her face was abhorrence, loathing. Jean paused, looked back to Xavier, but the redhead remained silent, merely staring at Marie. "You would really believe that, Marie? After all we've been through?" "What am I supposed to believe, Jean? That this is for my own good? You're scared of me." Marie stood, laughing harshly. "You've always been scared of me cause you never understood me, cause you can't look in my mind and right away find out what's going on. 'Cause you see what's brimming at the surface and it scares the hell of out of you."

"Marie, that's enough." Xavier snapped, his voice crisp and full of authority. Ororo looked at him askance, looking back to Marie as she pleaded softly, "Please, sit down. We only wish to talk." The angry young woman with the shock of white in her hair grudgingly turned and sat down, teeth bared, her glance cutting to Ororo, looking at her as if she couldn't believe she was in with this. Looking as if she couldn't believe that she could do this after she'd confided in her and asked her advice so often, or that she'd ever counted her as a friend. Her cold, furious eyes turned back to Xavier, staring him down. "So what do you suggest, Professor?" she drawled sarcastically, sitting back, crossing her legs, looking almost a shell of the beautiful woman she now was. Her white knuckles betrayed her emotion, fingernails digging into her palm so hard he wouldn't have been surprised to see blood.

Xavier swallowed, feeling the confusion, the anger, the betrayal. 'Marie, we care about you, you know that.' She flinched, shaking her head as if trying to shake the thought out of her mind. Charles wheeled around the desk, his hand on her palms as he gently began, "Give me time." "Give us time," Ororo repeated softly, backing him up, gaze soft and caring like all those other times they had talked. "Time to help you. And help him. Don't rush this." Xavier's eyes were on her, and there was that glint in his eyes that made her aware he was in her mind. By the look on Ororo's face she'd guessed what he was going to do, what he was doing, and Marie's gaze on hers was chilling. Her eyes then sharpened on Xavier, glittering coldly.

"You realize that people like their privacy, Charles?" The drawl was her own, mostly, but the tone rang with authority, and immediately she felt him drift out. She shook her head furiously, rising almost regally and walking to the door. Marie She stopped as soon as the single thought from both telepaths, echoed aloud by Ororo, pounded in her head, making her steps falter. She closed her eyes, and waited. "What?" I'm sorry The tears brimmed, and she swallowed, taking a breath, and answering raggedly, "Yeah. I know." And then the door almost broke from the strength she used in slamming it behind her, cutting herself from all of them.

"Marie!" She turned around to see Scott almost jogging after her. She stopped on the top step in front of the grand staircase that would lead her out of there. She folded her arms, tucking away the tears and pain from her encounter with Ororo, Jean and the Professor. And her own confusion. It was so weird to think that, like her sources said and stolen powers confirmed, he'd been just as upset over her disappearance, guilt-ridden. And he liked her? As she had once liked him? He'd even wanted to go after Remy? She shook her head. She didn't like this confusion. Much easier to stick with the anger. "What is it now Scott?" she growled, her voice against her will sounding almost tired, aching. She inwardly winced, features hardening. "Couldn't I just want to talk to you?" he asked, sounding almost tired and frustrated himself. "What could we possibly have to talk about?" she questioned, eyebrow raised, anger flaring.

He sighed, head ducking slightly for a moment, "To start with, I'm sorry?" he said, raising his head. And she saw the truth in his eyes. "Not good enough," she said with a curled lip, remembering the pain he'd caused her. "Never good enough." She had better things to do, people to see, to find…. She turned towards the stairs. "Rogue…" he started, hand flying out to catch her wrist, to stop her, pull her back. And she heard the echo of the Professor in her mind, wanting to talk, to persuade her back to his way of thinking. She jerked her arm and her mind back, moving abruptly, pushing forward. Then she heard a dozen hollow cries as she started falling….. falling down the huge staircase. And her eyes widened, mind frozen, mouth gaping, helpless to stop it. Voices rushed at her… Before stopping suddenly as a cold darkness claimed her. Then all there was was a broken, bleeding body at the end of the grand staircase.

In absolute horror and shock, Scott watched Marie fall, tumbling down the stairs, no one able to help her, something breaking inside him and his hand still out from where he'd reached to grab her. Dozens of younger students watched from the sidelines, from around the stairs, and all he could do was scream inside why weren't they doing anything? Though he knew they were frozen in shock and horror like himself. But then from behind him he heard Jean's gasp, felt her mental probe, footsteps running and he jolted into action. Tears falling without his allowance or without even knowing, he ran to Marie where she lay unconscious and bleeding, throwing himself beside her, cradling her.

He looked up at Jean, seeing the stricken look on her face, looking past it in his panic. "Jean…" he croaked hoarsely. And somehow it seemed as if she knew just how he was feeling, what he was thinking. But of course, she was a telepath and knew him well. Shaking her head as if to clear away a terrible fog, she started shouting orders to everyone that could hear, issuing help like the team leader was unable to. And he looked down at the body in his arms, a hint of possessiveness in his embrace, tears running more freely now as the blood fold and he saw her so still. "Marie!" the voice rung out over the mansion it seemed, but it didn't come from his bloodless lips. Heads jerked up at the Wolverine's roar, seeing him running.

Everyone knew how he cared for her, as a father to a daughter. And everyone held a hint of fear, a slight tremble as he reached them, at the hatred towards them in his eyes- almost as if they'd done this to her. But in a way, hadn't they? They stepped backed before they could be skewered, seeing his already claws out. But despite the apparent fury bubbling inside and around him, his concern for Marie was foremost. And Logan looked back to her, and what was in his eyes, the emotion, struck Scott hard. It was almost a palpable force. The older man reached for her, carefully drawing her out of his arms, and Scott couldn't make himself protest however much he wanted to, knowing/fearing the consequences. Logan was especially unstable right now.

The Wolverine's hands passed over Marie's dear, pale face as Scott's had done not long before, as much out of tenderness and torment as wanting her to absorb his healing power. But with her unconscious and with her powers switched off… it was useless. And he just as helpless as the rest of them. "Why isn't someone getting her some help!" he shouted, making them all jump, "I swear to God—" Before he could finish that threat, all hell in his hard gaze, a stretcher rounded the corner and Logan was on his feet with Marie in his arms, placing her on the stretcher. ""Bout damn time," he growled. But he was looking like he wanted to cry as well, rage battling with sorrow. And they carried her off, the two men trailing as well as Kurt and Kitty, who were breaking down, the rest frozen by Logan's glare. And all Scott could do was pray.

That's all for now

Okay, here's the thing, the question: I already figured Rogue/Marie and Remy's baby is a girl, a mutant, and her powers…. Empathic in origin, detection and manipulation/ a sort of hypnosis and definite natural psychic resistance. And a burning touch. That'll be the best of all. She'd be able to control it though… or at least after a while. Sound good? And I was considering about doing a sequel to this, years and years further into the future- about Marie and Remy's baby. What do y'all think?

There might be a romance factor in that story/sequel too (without all the angstyness and drama of this story, you can be sure of that- at least not one tenth of it), or maybe not. But if so, I was thinking the child of one of our other main characters- A Brotherhood member… or that of one of the X-men, would add conflict as Rogue is definitely separating from the X-men, and not on too good terms as you can probably tell. Opinions much appreciated- as much so ideas for who the parents of her possible love interest would be, names and powers ('cause he'll be a mutant for sure). If you like the sequel idea of course and I can get it off the ground, lol.