Disclaimer:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I don't own FMA

But neither do you.

A/N: Yay! People like it! I'm SO HAPPY! –squeals and glomps everyone who reviewed- Well, if you don't always get it, it's supposed to be like that. Or it turned out that way. It made sense to me as I wrote it, buy I can see how confusing it is. I think it adds to the randomness. Anyway, this is my favorite chapter so far, so enjoy it!

This chapter is brought to you by: Height from Excessive Consumption of Lemonhead and Sqwish, the Red Gummy Fish of Doom! (Don't get what I mean by "height"? Turn it into an adjective. If you are at a great height, you are very .)

"It's raining outside."

"So I've noticed."

"And there's lightning and stuff."

"I see that."

"And it's nighttime, so there's a spooky archetype."

"I GET IT! I'M NOT BLIND! I CAN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON! EVERYONE CAN!"

"The audience can't."

"Yeah, it's for the audience's sake. So suck it up and deal."

"Flare? Why the heck are you following us around?"

"I'm writing this story."

"So you're writing a conversation between yourself and us fictional characters?"

"That's right."

"That's pretty pathetic."

"Are you schizophrenic or something?"

"…no. Don't look at us like that."

"I can't see you."

"That's right. I'm hiding."

"What happened to the we?"

"It's humorous…or something."

"You really do get a kick out of writing this ludicrous, illogical, irrational, inane balderdash, don't you?"

"I'm having fun with a thesaurus."

"Okay. So, we're in this little dark living room around a campfire…for some…reason…and it's dark and rainy and there's thunder and lightning and it's scary."

"Thank you for explaining to our audience. Promotion for you. You are now Chief of Hogwash."

"Whoo! Pig king!"

"So…what ridicule must we endure today?"

"We'll be telling scary stories."

"Wonderful."

"Oh! I forgot to mention, but like, five other people from FMA are here. In this…strangely large living room."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Yo."

"Wassup."

"Hello."

"Thank you, Chief of Hogwash."

"You're welcome. Say, can you tell me who I am? As the Chief of Hogwash, I'd like to know my name."

"Sure. You're…Barry the Chopper."

"Barry the Chopper? You picked Barry the Chopper to be the highest ranking of us little pawns in this so-called story!"

"Yeah…he's the most random, idiotic guy I could think of."

"Barry the Chopper is in a living room with all of us?"

"I took away his cleaver. Magically."

"Awwwwwww…"

"Flare…you just ran out of the closet, threw it out the window, then ran back into the closet."

"Er…I'm still magical. Because I can see you THROUGH THE DOOR!"

"Hey, what's that thing coming out of the top of a submarine?"

"A periscope, Barry?"

"That's Chief Barry! Anyway, one's sticking out of the wall."

"…"

"So, is there any sort of plot for this chapter?"

"No. It's over."

"Yes!"

"I lied. We're going to tell scary stories."

"Fine…"

"I get to go first!"

"Okaaaay…just finish quickly so I can leave."

"Once upon a time there was…A PUPPY!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Chill out, Breda. It's not even the scary part yet. Heh. Breda. Sounds like a cheese. Anyway, it wasn't a normal puppy…BUT A WEREPUPPY!"

"That's it. I'm leaving."

"You can't leave!"

"I will anyway."

"You're fired!"

"You can't fire me! I quit!"

"You can't quit! You no longer work for me!"

"I'm going."

And so, Mr. Someone-Sensible ran out into the rain, glad that his fetters had been dropped, and he had been freed of Flare's terrible bondage. He skipped about, oblivious of everything else but very, very happy. That is, until a car ran him over…

"That's why you shouldn't leave me. MWAH HA HA HA HA !"