Author's Note: I recently went through this story after receiving a rather scathing review. I wrote this story YEARS ago. It was my first attempt at anything like this. It was also a time when I was pretty mad at the world, and it quite obviously comes through in the story. I realize there are plot holes, typos, canon errors....I could go in and fill holes, fix dialog and clean this story up, but I've moved on and really don't feel like it. Really, this was just for giggles. If you're offended by cussing, or chicks with major attitude problems, stop reading now and pick a different story.

Rain dripped quietly down the thick glass of Ari's Fourth floor window. She lay in bed, her face crushed against the bunk top, and watched sadly as each drop slithered out of view. Her only happy thought was that she had a soccer game in a few short hours.

"Muddy games are always the best."

She put on her baggy wind pants over her spandex shorts and threw her shiny black game shorts in a back pack. She also threw in her black leather pants and her 'club shirt' with her make-up and stuff to take a shower with after the game was done. She knew it would be a long night. Ari's cleats were already tied to the outside of her pack and on her way out the door she put on her heavy boots. Outside her dorm, Ari's shiny black and purple motorcycle sat beneath a canvas tarp. It wasn't the greatest day to be riding her bike, but Ari's car was in the shop and she didn't have a choice but to ride the ten miles to the game. Once there she hopped off and covered her baby with the canvas tarp she kept rolled in the bottom of her bag for just such occasions. There was no sense having to sit on a wet bike after the game.

The guys' team met the girls on the field. Ari ignored the cat calls and shouts from the men. Yeah, she'd had a fuck buddy on the guys' team for a while, but she had cut the "Friends with Benefits" activity off more than two months before. She hadn't been laid since…..the sexual tension was starting to drive her insane.

"Hey, Ari! How about you let me be your motorcycle tonight!" Damien shouted to her. "I promise I'll purr underneath you!" He hadn't been her "FWB" but he knew about the relationship, everyone did. He was a horn dog and would hit on anything with tits, two legs and a heartbeat.

"Only if you can suck your own dick, Ass-wipe." Ari didn't even turn to face him, but knew from the laughs she'd not only shot him down, but embarrassed him.

"That would be a negative ghost rider!" Cameron said laughing.

The game went by slowly for Ari, but hard. She had the wind knocked from her late in the first half. The second half was muddy but at least the sun had come out, making everything muggy and a little miserable. Ari scored twice, but still felt odd. She wasn't sure if it was from the hit she'd taken to the head or if it was because something big was going to happen.

"Maybe I'll get laid." Ari thought. "Nah, there's no way that's going to happen, I'm not that lucky." She thought as the game ended. The girls went to the locker rooms to shower and change for the evening. Ari let the water relax her tense muscles and then got out and toweled off. She pulled on her leather pants and her white club top. She pulled a comb through her long damp hair and shook it out making sure the dark purple streaks would show. She threw everything back in her bag, muddy or not, and went outside to her motorbike. She rolled the tarp up and placed it in the top of her back pack. Ari swung her leg casually and just a little bit sensually over her bike and went to turn it on.

"Meow! Now that's a sexy sight!" Damien called out from the back of someone's cavalier as it pulled up rather close to Ari. "How do I get a piece of that?"

"You cut off your dick and mail it to me."

"Ari, don't be such a bitch!" Sharon was in the back seat next to Damien. Though she had played soccer with Ari once, she no longer did and was now just a whore for the men's team. It was common knowledge and everyone knew it.

"There's your tail Damien….how many sluts do you guys need anyway?" The guys in the front seat started laughing as they pulled away while Sharon was in the back seat irate.

"Hey Ari!" Mark ran up to the bike just as she was getting ready to go.

"What?" Ari was a little annoyed and just wanted to get to the bar and start drinking. Besides, she and Mark had once been an item and Ari didn't exactly feel like talking to the cheating son of a bitch.

"Ride carefully, OK? The roads are still slick as hell."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll see you at the bar." Ari pulled away and started riding across town.

Ari was one of those singular girls blessed with the frame of an athlete. She had the kind of body men lusted after and girls could work on for years and never get at any gym or with any diet; long tone legs from years of playing soccer, a flat stomach and well muscled arms. Her mother was part Cherokee and her father Black Irish. Ari bore the dark skin of her mother and straight black hair that came from both sides. Her mother had been furious when she'd found out that Ari had died the purple streaks into her hair. "Your hair is so pretty….YOU'RE pretty….why did you go and do something like that?" Her mother had chided. Ari had gray eyes that she'd inherited from her father's side of the family. Though her facial features were plain enough by themselves, her genetics made her a rarity in a world where rare beauty was coveted.

Ari leaned low over her bike and turned it slowly up Fifth Street and continued to cruise. The team always partied at a local bar and Ari coveted the alone time, sticking to a 'long cut' to the bar.

She wasn't paying much attention to the road when suddenly a giant sinkhole opened in the road before her. The car in the lane beside her slammed on its brakes and Ari wrenched her bike sideways but only succeeded in spinning it off the steep cliff.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Ari sat up and looked around slowly. Her arms and hands were a little sore and cut and scraped in places, her white shirt was stained by dirt and blood, shredded to the point where she'd never be able to wear it again. She was surprised to be alive. "I really ought to start wearing a helmet." She said out loud as she rubbed the back of her head. There was a small bump, but nothing that she couldn't deal with later. She got up and brushed her self off. Her bike was trashed. It wasn't anything her grandfather couldn't fix, but it was not ride able in its current state. Ari put on her leather jacket and slung her back pack across her shoulder, prepared to climb the cliff out of the sink hole.

"Do you need a hand, M'lady?" Ari looked up and stared at the figures above her on the cliff.

"Jesus, you think they could have sent someone down to check on me by now…." Ari grumbled as she stepped away from the cliff to get a better look up. "Yeah! Totally!" She shouted up.

"Here!" Ari took hold of the long gray rope tossed to her and tied it around her waist. "Go ahead and pull!" She called up when she was ready. She scrambled up the cliff while the people above her hauled her up. As she crawled over the edge she realized she wasn't in Prestonville anymore. The road and farm country that she'd been in just moments before was gone, now replaced with virgin rolling hills. Tall yellow grasses blew gently like waves across the land. The men standing around her were dressed in shades of brown, green and gray, nothing of which resembled anything worn in the twentieth century.

"What's with the capes?" Ari asked as she untied the rope from her waist and another man coiled it.

"M'Lady?"

"Where am I?"

"This is Rohan, Miss. Do you not know this place?"

"Right…..and I am the queen of mother fucking England." Ari laughed as she dusted her pants off.

"Pardon me?" Ari looked at the men and took in their looks and mannerisms. All were looking at her as if she were insane. Her surroundings were clean and pristine and untouched by human development.

"Who are you, and where am I, really?"

"I believe we should be asking the questions, madam." One of the men said mounting a horse. "Such as your name, if you have one." Someone lowered a spear in her general direction and another man made a move for his sword, the only sounds now being the gentle pawing of the horses against the earth and an occasional clink of armor.

"I'm Ari. Arianna Carver." Ari suddenly felt nervous. "My motorcycle went over the edge of a sink hole….I must have conked out or something because I woke up here."

"My name is Maleth. I am a marshal for the Rohirrim." Ari stared blankly at the man who bowed towards her. Then she took in the other men; all had fair eyes and most had light hair. "We will take you to the king, Lady Arianna….he shall know what to do with you."

"King?"

"Yes, King Théoden of Rohan."

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Could my day get any worse?" The men all stared at Ari as she kicked her bag in frustration and turned to face the wind, her hair whipping gently around her face. "OK, let's get this show on the road…" She said once she'd calmed down; she turned back and stared at Maleth.

"Can you ride?" He asked her.

"Yeah, no problem." Ari's mother bred horses and Ari had been on or near them most of her life. Ari swung up into the saddle and noticed many of the men were staring at her. They rode quickly in an Eastern direction and soon came to a walled city high on a hill. They were admitted readily and Ari was escorted up many steps to a great house. The friezes depicted many horses and Nordic type symbols and knots. Ari followed Maleth inside and looked on a man, sickly looking who sat in a chair at the head of the hall.

"M'lord…this woman was found several miles west….she does not seem to be from here."

"What is your name?" The old man's voice was wheezy and his waxy eyes searched for her at the end of the hall.

"Arianna Carver."

"Where are you from, M'lady Carver?"

"Prestonville, Missouri."

"Where is this place….?"

"Midwest United States. Look, I don't know how…"

"She is a spy! That much is clear sir. Look at her dress and listen to her speech!" This was spoken by a man who looked pail and wormy who was standing in the shadows just beside the King's throne.

"I most certainly am not a spy! I don't even know where the hell I am!" Ari shouted back.

"You should have her imprisoned." The wormy man whispered, but every sound carried in the deathly still hall.

"Excuse me?" The king waved his hand feebly and a man stepped forward to restrain Ari, but she would have none of it. She broke free of the guard with a quick fist to his nose. "Hold on just a second, Rocky. I want to see an ambassador…I have rights to a lawyer!"

"She speaks madness and attacks our king!" the wormy man shouted, "Seize her!" It took four guards to restrain the irate Arianna and carry her away to the dungeons shouting the whole way. "You haven't heard the end of this! Man, when they find out what you did, you are so FUCKED! Do you hear me?"

Ari was thrown roughly into a cell. There were no windows and the jail floors were covered with straw. Ari sat dejectedly against the wall and stared out at the guards pacing before the bars.

"You know, as soon as the embassy figures out what you guys have done, you are so fucked." She taunted at the guards from her seated position. Deep down inside she knew there was no embassy. This was no festival or convention….this was the real deal. She'd somehow landed herself in Middle Earth. She'd read the books of course…back when she'd actually given a damn in middle school. High School brought dark changes to her life, the death of her Grandmother and then suddenly her older brother. Ari stopped reading with the hunger she had in the earlier days, a hobby she and her brother had both taken pleasure in.

It took Ari less than a day to get bored with her surroundings and begin to pace. On the second day, she woke up tired and agitated. "Even Middle Earth has rats!" She thought as she saw one slither into the straw. She shuddered. She knew she had to get out. She rummaged around for sometime before she found a loose flag stone in the floor and managed to pry several more up. After two days of digging, her hands were grubby and bleeding in places. She was growing tired and was running out of places to hide dirt. She started hiding it in the bucket that was to be used as a toilet. She got caught three days later and was moved to a different cell in a different part of the dungeons. From this cell, Ari began to harangue her captors that paced before her cell. She was bored…what else could she do? She stood with her face pressed against two bars and clasped the cold steel in her hands.

"So, are the women here good lays? I bet you wouldn't know…you've probably never slept with anything on two legs…."

"Did your mother make you that cape? How sweet, I bet she even made you your lunch today too."

"Hey, stupid! Yeah, you with the crooked nose—your mom beat you up or were you just born that ugly?"

Eventually they got pissed at her and began slapping her hands as she grasped the bars. It was a great game and she quickly learned which guards she could mess with and not get hit by. Even the ones that would strike her, she learned what their mannerisms were and reacted quickly to their spears striking the bars and keeping her hands out of range.

But Ari eventually got bored with this as well and she began to think about the lock on the door. Late one evening she began to pick it using two of her bobby pins and a knife from the food tray they brought her. The day she succeeded she scared herself. She hadn't expected the lock to give, but with a sudden loud 'POP' the door swung in gently. She boldly walked down the hall trying to find her way out. She had wandered for what seemed like an hour when she stumbled into a guard unit. She was taken back to her cell and bound with a length of rope. Ari wasn't about to let a little rope stop her and summarily chewed through it and picked the lock, this time with more ease as she knew what to do. She was always careful to hide her bobby pins back in her thick hair, and the guards never guessed what it was she was using to pick the locks. Next, they bound her with a thick leather strap. It took her several more days to wear the strap down against a pointed stone on the wall, but she eventually did it. When the guards discovered her wandering the labyrinthine corridors for a third time, the leather straps left in her cell, they brought the wormy man down to the dungeons for a visit.

Two guards flanked Ari and made sure she was standing before the jail door, her hands bound before her. The greasy little man entered the cell with a self importance that Ari knew the other men detested.

"Hey Asshole….how's it hanging?" Ari asked when the wormy man stood before her.

"Silence you insolent witch!" the wormy man hissed. "I don't know who you are, or what magic you're using, but I'll tolerate none of it." Ari eyed the door warily. It stood ajar, with only this single, pathetic man in her way.

"I'm not using voo doo if that's what you're implying." Ari responded.

"You are an insolent young woman…if you'd only behave…" Ari brought her fists into one guard's nose and simultaneously stomped the foot of the other guard. As he doubled over, she quickly elbowed him in the back, dropping him to his stomach on the cold stone floor. Ari pushed the wormy man into the bars of the cell as hard as she could and ran out the door. She had long since figured out how to exit the maze of tunnels and halls and made her way there as quickly as possible. Ari looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was pursuing her, but could only hear her pursuers following behind. She made it all the way to the outside world and blinked at the shock of the brightness of it. She was trying to get her bearings when something hit her savagely from behind. Her vision began to blur and she staggered forward a few steps, but not before she saw a handsome young man sitting on a horse looking down at her. She fell at the horse's feet and looked up at the man as the guards' drug her back into the darkness that was the dungeons.