The hammock swung gently in the still, slowly-roasting air. I lay back, lulled in the rhythmic sway, allowing the warming air to rise up through my damp hair.

"This is the life," I sighed, content.

This was one of the morning siestas I frequently enjoyed. There isn't anything like a river dive and a morning siesta to prepare oneself for the hard day's siestering ahead.

A croaked squawk from overhead caused me to open an eyelid. A number of black blobs circled lazilly against the golden ferocity of the sun. Grumbling, I rolled over onto my front to persuade the buzzards that I wasn't dead.

The only thing better than a morning siesta was a midday siesta, which was almost equaled by a noon siesta. Night siestas were fine but boring.

The thick heat washed over my face and gently cooked my eyeballs. The earth beneath my net was cracked from drought, as usual. My drink was standing precariously close to a particularly deep fissure but right now I couldn't be bothered to save it. Large beads of condensation accumulated and ran down it's sides.

Today was a particularly good day. The weather was just heading into the hottest part of the year, the war against the Hylians was all but finished, and I'd recently got a well-paying job as the bodyguard to the ambassador/war general. Even my recent, failed attempt at bleaching my hair, which had left it a foul shade of dirt, wasn't enough to annoy me. Yep. Today, was a perfect day and absolutely nothing could make it otherwise.

With a mighty, ear-blowing wrenching of rock, the earth split open, my drink lost down the quickly growing crack below me. I dived for safety as my hammock was swallowed up. There came a long peal of thunder from the clear sky. A door flew open high up on The Fortress and a Priestess came running out, screaming something about the altar breaking in two.

I had an unpleasant feeling that my luck was over. Meh. I was getting bored of it anyway.