Goodbye to You

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Roswell, and the characters therein belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims and 20th Century Fox. I'm just borrowing them because it's fun. The song is Goodbye to You by Michelle Branche

Author's Note: Takes place in and around Panacea and Chant Down Babylon. I messed with the time line a bit to suit the story. For those of you who know my dreamer tendencies – don't freak. Yes this is polar, but I am now, and will always be a dreamer. This is just something that I wanted to do.

"Max is dead," Liz said, her voice dulled with pain.

"What?" asked Maria. She looked around the cramped dorm room for any signs that Liz had been drinking again. When she couldn't find any evidence to corroborate her theory, she began to fear that in addition to drinking, Liz was doing drugs as well.

"Liz," Maria began gently. "I think you're too caught up in that whole other life you used to lead. You left Roswell for a reason. It's time to let go. Max is fine, you know it, and I know it. If something was wrong, Isabel would have contacted you."

"I'm not to sure about that," Liz said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "They all hate me for leaving."

"That's not true, Chica. Isabel especially, understands why you had to leave. Remember how mad she was when Max wouldn't let her leave for college? Well she's glad you took this chance to get out and have a normal life. It's what you needed; it's what we both needed."

"I suppose so," said Liz.

"You suppose so?" demanded Maria. "Liz, you were glowing green! We are so lucky we found our way out of that damned alien abyss we called our lives. No more running and looking over our shoulders. No more being kidnapped, or worse, killed. We finally have a chance to live our lives."

"Maybe you're right, Maria, but I can't help feeling that something is seriously wrong."

"Will it make you feel any better if I call Isabel and make sure everything is okay?" Maria offered. "I'd call Michael, but done is done, and I don't want to get sucked back into that whole mess."

Liz watched as Maria rummaged in her bag for her phone. She deftly punched in a number and waited. After several minutes, she disconnected the call, sighed and rapidly dialed another number.

"Hi Michael, it's me," Maria said into the phone, her tone short and clipped. "I'm with Liz, and she's got some freakish idea that Max is hurt. Give her a call and let her know that he's okay. Bye."

Maria quickly disconnected the call and turned to Liz. "He'll call you."

"That was pretty cold, don't you think?" Liz asked her friend.

"Liz, I'm done with the whole Czechoslovakian thing. I'm not looking back, it's time for me," said Maria. "And if you're smart, you'll do the same thing." Maria bent down and picked up her overnight bag.

"Liz, I hate leaving you when you're so down, but I have to get to New York. Dominique is expecting me. You told me not to give up on the whole music thing. I'm telling you, give Winnaman a chance, Liz. I think it's going to be good for you."

The two friends hugged goodbye, and Maria left the room. Liz rushed to the window and watched her friend exit the building and walk down the snowy sidewalk on her way to her new life. She threw up the window sash and leaned out of the window into the cold New England air.

"Bye Maria!" she yelled. "Don't forget me in your first Grammy acceptance speech!"

"You know it!" Maria shouted back. She gave one last wave before she turned a corner and disappeared from site.

"Maybe Maria is right," Liz said to the empty room. She picked up a hairbrush and began to brush her hair rapidly as she spoke. "I need to let go. I've spent the past two and a half years worrying about Max Evans. I have to learn to worry about me. Max is fine. I know he is." She looked in the mirror to check her hair and saw her face streaked with tears. "Max," she whispered.

A soft click woke Liz from her restless slumber and she sat part way up in her bed, struggling to see in the darkness.

"Eileen, is that you?" she asked in her sleep filled voice. "I thought you weren't coming back until Monday morning? Eileen?" she asked again when nobody answered.

Liz's heart began to beat wildly in her heart. She leaned over to turn on the small lamp that was next to her bed, afraid of what she would see. She flipped the switch with a snap, and the soft glow of light illuminated the bed and cast the area by the doorway in murky shadows.

M-Michael?" she whispered, her heart in her throat.

"Liz," he replied, his voice filled with anguish.

His reply was but one word, but it conveyed so much emotion to Liz. She sat fully up in the bed, tears streaming down her face.

"No," she moaned. "Please, no."

Michael quickly crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, and covered her mouth with his hand.

"Don't," he whispered, urgently. "If anybody hears you, we'll both be in trouble. I'm going to take my hand away from your mouth, now. Are you going to be okay?"

Liz nodded imperceptibly, and Michael removed his hand, pausing to wipe a tear away from her face.

"God, Liz, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'd give anything to not have to tell you this."

"What happened?" she choked out.

"It was at Meta-Chem. Liz, they've been tracking us, looking for the one who could heal. They thought it was me. They shot Monk, and just left him there for me to heal, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't save him. Wait, I'm not explaining this right," said Michael. "There was a break in at Meta-Chem, and Monk got shot, but there wasn't any real investigation. That made me suspicious, so Jim helped us do some looking around, and we found out they knew who we were, and they knew one of us could heal. They had surveillance photos from the hospital in Phoenix, and samples of my blood and everything. They thought I could heal, and that's why they shot Monk. To see if I could heal him."

"Tell me about Max," Liz said.

"We broke in to Meta-Chem, Max, Isabel, Jim and me. We had to steal the data they had on me. We got caught, and Jim got shot."

Liz gasped and grabbed the blankets tightly, trying to control the fear that welled up inside of her. Michael's eyes scanned the room, his gaze missing nothing, from the small refrigerator in the corner, to the pictures of Alex, Maria, Kyle, Isabel, and Max that framed Liz's mirror. He got up off of the bed on the pretense of getting drink from the fridge and looked at the pictures. He was amazed to see several of him there as well. He never thought of Liz as a friend, but they were inexplicably tied together. Now more than ever.

Michael reached into the small fridge and smiled sadly at the sight of the Snapple bottles that greeted him. Snapple had been their drink of choice this year, the sweet fruit flavors melded with the Tabasco sauce they laced it with, creating Ambrosia for their alien taste buds. He grabbed two of them and crossed the room and sat carefully on the edge of Liz's bed and passed her one of the bottles. He twisted off the top, and drank deeply, trying to forestall his telling of the rest of the story. He grimaced as the cloying sweetness of the drink, and smiled gratefully when Liz reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out a small bottle of Tabasco sauce and offered it to him.

"Tell me," she said, her voice thick with tears. "I need to hear everything, Michael.

"Liz, it's okay, Max healed him," said Michael. He was able to heal Jim. We got all the material they had on me, and started to get the hell out of there, but it was too late. They got Max, and Jim. They wanted Max to heal this old man. God, I don't know what happened. Max tried, he really tried; they were going to kill Jim if he didn't. We don't know what happened, they had knocked Jim out. When he came too, the room was engulfed in flames, and what was left of Max's body," Michael paused, and tried to quell the rush of emotions. "What was left of his body just disintegrated into nothing."

"Isabel and I got Jim outside, but we ran into problems, and Isabel was shot," Michael said in a rush. "I tried, but I couldn't heal her. I couldn't heal her Liz."

The anguish in his voice served to give Liz the strength she needed to comfort Michael. She knelt up in her bed, and hugged him tightly, allowing him to let go of the grief that engulfed him.

"Did she?" she asked, unable to bring herself to finish the sentence.

"N-no, I don't think so," said Michael. "Jesse had a friend, he used to be a doctor, he operated on Isabel, but she was still in a coma when I left. We weren't going to tell you until we knew she was out of danger, but then I got Maria's voice mail, and Kyle said we couldn't wait. You had to be told."

"I can't believe that Max is dead," she said, the tears falling anew. "I just thought he'd be there, waiting for me when I got back."

Watching her cry, Michael felt his own heart break into a million more pieces. His job had been to protect them both, and he had failed them both, in this lifetime as well as in their first. Michael pulled Liz to him, cradling her in his embrace as she shed enough tears to fill an ocean.

"Shh, Liz," he whispered ineffectually, brushing her hair away from her face.

Liz looked up into his eyes, and found herself wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled his head down to hers, and their lips met in a passionate kiss. Time ceased to have any meaning for either of them, as they lost themselves in the passion and the memories. They saw flashes of each other, as well as flashes of Max, and each shared memory served to increase their passion.

Frantically, she pushed at Michael's heavy leather jacket, until it fell unnoticed to the floor. Her fingers worked the buttons at his shirt until it opened, baring his chest. Her hands lovingly caressed his flesh, and he felt flames of pleasure shooting through his body.

Michael burned to feel her naked body against his, and he quickly removed the oversized shirt that Liz wore to bed. He heard her sigh with pleasure as he gazed in wonderment at her body. Liz quickly shed her panties, while Michael made short work of removing his jeans, and the two lay down together and began to explore each other's bodies.

Liz felt her breath coming in short fast gasps, as Michael trailed kisses down her neck. He caressed her breasts, and she moaned with pleasure when he took one of the nipples into his mouth.

"Oh, God, Michael," she whispered. "Please, don't stop.

Her small moans of pleasure only served to excite Michael more, and he rained a trail of kisses across her body and his hand reached the juncture between her thighs. Liz stiffened with pleasure as his fingers stroked her to a fever pitch.

"Please, Michael, please," she whispered against his mouth, as her hands moved rapidly across his back.

He pulled back and looked at her, trying to be certain that this was what she wanted; that she knew for sure that it was him, and not Max that she was with.

"Michael, I need you," she whispered, correctly reading his thoughts. "I need you like I have never needed anybody before. Heal me, Michael. You can heal me."

Her words served to increase his desire a thousand fold, and he gave into the passion, and thrust into her. After a slight resistance, her hips rose up to meet him, and the two began the dance that lovers have danced for all eternity. Liz wrapped her legs around Michael's waist and arched her back, trying to take as much of him into her body as she could. She moved faster and faster as the pressure built inside of her. She stopped suddenly, her body stiffening as she reached her climax.

Liz felt as if she was falling, falling, falling, and it was never going to end; she didn't want it to end. She opened her eyes and looked at Michael and found herself falling further still into his eyes as the two shared the most intimate moment two people could share. It felt as if little bolts of electricity were passing through though her into Michael, and back again. Michael gave a final thrust, and Liz felt her world explode again and again.

She traced a pattern on his back and down his arm, until her hand joined his. She watched in amazement as a green glow began in her hand, and traveled down into Michael's, moving across their bodies until the two were enveloped in a glowing green cocoon.

The remained joined together, cocooned in the energy field, experiencing a pleasure so intense neither one of them wanted it to ever end. Finally, they drifted off to sleep, still joined together.

The sun rose in the morning sky, filling the small room with a rosy light. Michael awoke first to the sound of music coming from Liz's alarm clock, and raised himself up on one elbow, and looked down at the woman sleeping next to him. He brushed the hair away from her face, and smiled as she opened her eyes.

"Michael," she said.

It was all she said, but it said everything. Both of them knew they didn't belong together, and couldn't stay together. Not like this. They would always be a part of each other's lives. After last night, a big part, but they weren't a couple.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing to his shoulder where five glowing circles formed a V.

"That's the royal seal," said Michael in amazement.

He reached down and grabbed his shirt and pulled it on quickly, as if to hide it from sight. He passed Liz her nightshirt, and she knelt up on the bed and pulled it on.

"Liz, stop," he said.

She pulled the shirt over her head and looked at Michael who was pointing at her abdomen at the same glowing V shape. Liz looked down and caught her lip between her teeth.

"Oh," she said as she realized what it meant.

"Come on," said Michael, holding his hand out to her. "We're going home. I failed once, but I won't fail again. I failed one king, I won't fail the next one. I'll protect you, the both of you," he amended, glancing at her still flat abdomen. "With my life."

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa...
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star.