Lilo's Life Lessons

Lessons Lilo learned listening to a lucky low-life leaning on a lakeside lounger. Not really. But alliteration is fun!

Truthfully, it's a little idea that popped into my head. Lilo keeps a diary, but she's Lilo, so it's an atypical diary that consists of her talking about stuff she learned. Makes a little story after a while.

February 18, 2005

I've learned Nani is best not talked to whenever she opens the door so hard that she dents the wall. It's also best not to talk to Jumba if it takes more than three tries to unlock his door. You shouldn't talk to Pleakly whenever the television is on, and NEVER talk to Stitch when Angel's at the house. He wouldn't want to talk to you, anyway.

February 19, 2005

I've learned that people like Mertle really do shut up if you ignore them; I'd always thought it was a bunch of baloney, but it's true. And it's not "balogna" baloney, either, it's baloney baloney. Seriously, one day, Mertle was making fun of me while Stitch wasn't with me, and you know what I did? I started singing "It's a Small World After All" like she wasn't even there, and all the girls started singing with me, it was so cool! Mertle was too confused to pick on me for the rest of the day!

February 20, 2005

I've learned that sing-a-longs are best made… what's that word? Spontaneous! What I like to do is go down to the local high school and stand near all the teenagers that sit outside and play Yu-Gi-Oh and start singing the "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" song, Christmas or not, and they all join in and then start singing "Joy to the World, The Teacher's Dead" and I have to leave, or else I'll get caught and get in trouble again.

February 21, 2005

I've learned that some people don't like to talk to other people, they just wanna sit. I know this one guy who goes to a Starbucks in the mall, and I don't know his name, he's just the guy who goes to the Starbucks in the mall. Every time I see him, I just walk up to his table and sit next to him. He doesn't mind. We don't talk, we just sit with eachother. No one else is ever there at his table. Some people are like that.

I've learned from Jumba that some people like to be around other people without interacting with them. It's something like how cows herd, that's what Jumba said. He said that some species of aliens and humans and junk like that just need to be around other people to stay sane. It's weird. But Jumba said most people think like cows, so I don't bother to ask. Jumba says it's mean, but it's true. I trust Jumba. I believe Jumba.

February 22, 2005

I've learned that you can wash whatever you want in the "warm" setting on the washer as long as it's not bright red. That's why I have so many clothes that are bright red. That way I can just wash all the bright red stuff together so if they bleed, they bleed on eachother and no one notices.

February 23, 2005

I've learned that lemonade is tasty, and grapes taste really good when they're frozen, but if you dip grape in lemonade, freeze them, then eat them, adults look at you funny, so I've learned never to do that again.

February 24, 2005

I've learned that Pleakly doesn't like sharpened pencils. Don't ask me how I know that.

February 25, 2005

I've learned that I may not be best friends with Stitch anymore. I heard Stitch and Angel talking about how they're gonna try and make me and Victoria best of friends so they don't have to watch me anymore.

I've learned that it's way too easy for me to get offended by stuff that's supposed to help me.

I've learned how hard I have to bight a ravioli can before it bursts open.

February 26, 2005

I've learned that keeping saved money found on sidewalks and stuff really does pay off after a while. I also learned that a fine to take a fishing boat from town to Honolulu costs 35. You can tell I've been saving for a while.

I've learned that public busses are some of the best places to find those people who like being around other people but don't like talking to other people.

February 27, 2005

I've learned that bus-depot loiterers make better beds than bus-depot chairs. I've also learned that giving some guy with one tooth 5 for buffalo wings will make him take you to any house in all of Honolulu, even if the address isn't listed in the phone book. I've also learned that it really helps if you know exactly where you're going first.

I've learned that my lost Aunt Siss is one of those people who don't like other people, but apparently I'm not "other people".

February 28, 2005

I've learned that lost Aunt Siss's house is a great place to stay when you wanna get away from it all. Aunt Siss makes great pancakes, her house is all clean and covered in plastic, and I don't have to yell or scream or even talk to anybody, anywhere. Everything is always nice and quiet at Aunt Sis's house.

I've learned that I think I'm turning into one of those "people-not-hating-but-not-talking-to" people. I think I like it.

March 1, 2005

I've learned that next time I stow away to Honolulu to find long lost relatives to leave a note. Nani's not fun to be around when she's panicky and lovey. Stitch is trying to read what I'm writing over my shoulder. I think he's trying to see if I'm going to escape again.

I've learned that Stitch isn't going to try and make me Victoria's best-est friend anymore. I think he thinks I'm too much of a handful to let out on my own. Jumba's thinking about microchipping me. Pleakley's in a panic because I "accidently" put on of my red mumus in the towel wash. Now I have a pink mumu and my very own set of pink bathroom towels!

DONE!

That was pointless. Felt like writing something, and this came out. Later.