Ares' Ale

By: Myranda Ync

Summery: One-shot. Hercules never drinks alcohol; he's always been afraid that if he gets drunk, his god-like strength will accidentally hurt someone. Ares tricks Herc into getting horribly drunk and the only person around is Iolaus.

Ares lounged lazily in one of his many elaborate temples watching his step-brother contemptuously through a looking glass. His lip twisted into a snarl; Hercules was in a tavern somewhere celebrating his newest victory over Hera's minions with the townsfolk of the village he saved and that annoying, short, blond who insisted on following the half-god around like some lost puppy. It was not as if Hercules had defeated Ares, but the God of War was angry nonetheless. The brat was too full of himself, the constant victories over all of the Gods of Olympus were making him believe he was better than them.

The lowly half-breed.

It was bad enough that Zeus treated that abomination better than the gods. Hercules broke the rules constantly, always medaling in the affairs of the gods. How many times was he allowed to bring that that insipid mortal back from Hades domain? How often was Ares allowed to bring back one of his generals?

And to top it all off, Zeus would always punish Ares and protect Hercules when the two got into a fight, even if Hercules was trying to stop one of Ares' own wars! He was the God of War, damn it! Was he just simply supposed step aside if Hercules didn't agree?! Aphrodite didn't agree with any of Ares' wars, but SHE wasn't allowed to stop him!

He silently groaned when Strife appeared next to him. The annoying teenaged god leaned over his shoulder to better see what Ares was watching, "Hey, unc, watchin' Hercules?"

Ares closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance, his patience had left him long before the brat had arrived, he didn't feel like answering stupid questions! "Yes! I'm watching Hercules!" He snapped, not taking his eyes from the looking glass.

Strife either missed his uncle's angry tone or completely ignored it, "Planning something new?"

Ares turned to face his nephew who was staring intently at the looking glass, wondering where exactly would be the perfect place to for his punch to land, when Hercules voice from the looking glass caught his attention. "Oh, no thanks, I don't drink."

He turned back to stare at the image of his brother, an insignificant mortal asked, "Why not, Hercules, this is a celebration, and plus it's free!"

Hercules shrugged off the question, "I'd love to, but Iolaus and I have a long journey ahead of us, so we should be going."

Iolaus, who had one arm draped around two young, beautiful, blond-haired, blue-eyed, big bosomed twin women, shot his friend a not-so-nice look.

Hercules sighed, stood up, and walked to his friend, "Come on, Iolaus, it's a long way back to Corinth and Jason and Iphicles are expecting us."

Iolaus sighed, exasperated, "Fine, fine." He pulled his arms away from the women, "Sorry, ladies, maybe next time." The women pouted cutely, forcing Hercules to literally drag his friend away.

When they had reached the village boundary, they waved their good-byes and started down the path toward Corinth.

Hercules stole a glance at his smaller friend. The man was sulking, and Hercules knew that as soon as Iolaus started talking he would layer the guilt very highly on the half god.

And sure enough, not five minutes later, Iolaus groaned loudly, "Aw, Herc! I can't believe you did that!"

Hercules sighed, "Sorry, Iolaus, but I won't drink, and if we had stayed, those villagers wouldn't have taken "no" for an answer."

Iolaus looked at the taller man, understanding his point, though he wished he could change the half-god's mind; "You're a big man, Hercules, one ale isn't going to make you drunk enough to loose control."

"I can't take the chance, Iolaus. I don't think I could live knowing that I injured someone because my judgment was impaired, even if only the slightest bit. What if I became out of control? Who is there to stop me?"

Iolaus puffed out his chest, but shook his head, "As much as I'd like to think I could win, I don't know if I'd have the strength."

Hercules smiled at Iolaus' double meaning, "I don't think I could ever hurt you either."

Iolaus smiled at his friend, "It might be interesting to see one day, though."

Ares smiled wickedly, "So," he said to no one in particular, though Strife was standing right next to the god, "little brother is afraid of what will happen if he drinks. This is an intriguing prospect. I'd like to see how he behaves."

Strife giggled excitedly, "But he refuses to drink, unc, how are we going to get him drunk?"

Ares' smile dropped a moment then widened, "I've already got a plan. Why don't you pull up a chair, Strife, tonight's entertainment will be one to remember."

The two heroes had walked all day, so by the late afternoon, they had already started to make what would be their camp for the night. They chatted a while about past adventures and the latest defeated creature, when Hercules abruptly stopped mid sentence. Iolaus eyed his friend with concern, "You alright, big guy?"

Hercules attention seemed to snap back, "Yeah," he answered shaking his head, "sorry, all of a sudden I feel really thirsty." He picked up his water skin and started to drink, immediately, he pulled it away.

"What's wrong?" Iolaus still looked concerned.

Hercules stared at the container, "It…tastes strange."

Iolaus lifted an eyebrow and took the water skin to taste for himself. When he pulled it away from his lips he shook his head, "Tastes fine to me," he handed the container back and stood, "but, it would go perfect with some dinner. Why don't you start a fire, I'll go find us some meat."

Hercules laughed and took another long drink from the water skin, "Sure thing, be quick, though, I'm hungry."

Iolaus laughed, "Of course," he turned and walked away from the clearing to stalk their meal.

Hercules gathered wood and started the fire, taking many long drinks from his water. He found it odd that no matter how much he drank, he just kept feeling as if he was dying of thirst.

Hercules hadn't noticed how late it was getting until he looked up and saw that the sun had nearly set. He shook his head, he felt dizzy and he found that it was difficult to think. He took another large mouthful of water and smiled. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Iolaus holding a large rabbit. "Well, hey there, Iolaus. That dinner?"

Iolaus looked at Hercules concern filling his green-blue eyes, "Uh…yeah, are you okay?"

Hercules closed his eyes and found that it was difficult to reopen them, by Zeus, his vision was fuzzy, he shook his head to clear his eyes. "Yup, Iolaus, I've just been thinking. About what you said earlier…I think we should do it!"

Iolaus looked rather confused, "Do what?"

"Fight!" Hercules nodded and took another drink, "You and me! See who's stronger."

Iolaus eyes widened, "Okay…" he pause, "maybe after dinner."

"No!" Hercules boomed, standing and wobbling slightly. "No, you said you wanted to know. Let's do it, now!" He took a very off-balanced swing at his friend.

Iolaus easily dodged, dropping the rabbit. "Herc," he asked confused, but realization filled his eyes, "Herc…are you—"

"Shut up and fight!" The half-god yelled impatiently. He threw another sloppy punch toward his friend.

Iolaus ducked under it and the two circled one another, "Hercules," he said calmly, though his face clearly gave away his fear, "I don't know how this happened, but I think you're drunk."

Hercules growled and gathered as much energy as he could and punched.

Hercules' first conscious thought was that his head hurt more than mortal could contemplate. He tried to open his eyes, but the bright, late morning sun that shined through the trees, only added to the harsh pounding in his head.

'Late morning?'

The half-god forced his eyes open, despite the pain and looked around. His mind struggled to make sense of the picture before him. It was late morning. The fire from the previous night had burned itself out. And on the other side of the fire's remains, Iolaus was still sleeping.

Even with his mind jumbled and confused, it struck Hercules as odd. Iolaus should have been awake for hours.

Hercules groaned and painfully sat up. He put his hand to his head, trying to fight the intense nausea that suddenly enveloped him. "Iolaus," he called. When he didn't receive an answer, he tried again, this time louder, "Iolaus!" When he again did not get a response he forced himself to his feet. He shakily made his way toward his sleeping comrade and nudged him with his boot. When Iolaus did not so much as sigh, Hercules looked down and studied his friend's form. Iolaus' arms were under him in an odd, uncomfortable-seeming position and his legs were crossed at the ankles.

Hercules' mind seemed to clear quickly. He knelt next to his friend and lowered his hand to rouse him. As soon as the hand touched the blond's shoulder, Hercules recoiled. There was no warmth in Iolaus' body.

Fear and dread filled him. He quickly gathered the courage and reached out and shook the man. Iolaus remained still. Hercules turned Iolaus to face him and his breath caught. He felt his own heart lurch. The entire left side of Iolaus' face was covered in blood and dirt, his nose was broken, and a hideous black bruise spread over his chest. Hercules shook his friend roughly, refusing to face what the evidence before his stated. "Iolaus," he was able to force out a horse whisper. He shook him again, "Iolaus, answer me." Hercules stared in shock, "Wh-what happened?!"

He turned immediately when he heard sinister laughter and clapping. Hercules stared at his amused brother a long while, anger, hatred, and an intense need for revenge filled his eyes. "You did this to him," it was not a question. "I'll kill you for this, Ares. I swear—"

"Oh, no, brother," Ares laughed, "I didn't do this. You did." Ares smile widened at the tormented anguish on his brother's face.

Hercules looked down at the lifeless body of his best friend, "No," he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.

Ares laughed harder, "It seems you got so drunk last night that you blacked out. Here," he waved his hand, "let me help you remember."

Hercules yelled in pain as Ares' forced the memories of the pervious night into Hercules' brain. Hercules gasped, he remembered everything. He had…fought Iolaus. He had slowly worn down the hunter until…until he could no longer dodge. Iolaus kept trying to talk him out of it, but Hercules tuned him out. He had hit him in the chest…with as much force as he could gather. He hadn't held back at all…Iolaus landed with a sickening thud, and didn't even try to get up. Hercules had walked casually over and lifted the hunter off the ground by his vest. Iolaus had breathlessly tried one last time to convince Hercules to stop…but the only answer he gave the hunter was, "Looks like I'm the winner," before using the same amount of fore as the punch to his chest on the side of his face, instantly shattering bone, and killing the man.

Hercules' whole body trembled, his eyes wide. "No," he whispered.

"Oh, yes, little brother. You killed him in cold blood with your bare hands. He didn't even try to fight back. I think that's what made it so memorable." Ares laughed again and disappeared in a flash of silver.

Tears ran unchecked down Hercules' eyes. He gathered the body of his best friend-brother- in his arms. "I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I'm so sorry." He clutched the body close, "Hades!" He screamed, "Hades! Give him back, Hades!" He continued to scream the God of the Dead's name until his throat was raw, but got no answer. "Zeus!" He tried instead, "You can't let Ares to this to me! Father! Father!" But still he received no answer. He lowered his head onto Iolaus' battered chest and wept.

"Hercules," a soft, caring, woman's voice called, "Come on, Herc."

"Get away from me, Aphrodite."

"Hercules," Hephaestus said, "will you listen?"

Hercules yelled and rushed the God of the Forge, slamming him into a tree, "No," Hercules said, deathly quiet, tears still glistening in his eyes, "you listen. Get out of here before I kill you and Aphrodite."

Hephaestus didn't so much as blink. Aphrodite continued, "Hercules, we're here to help."

Hercules eyes flashed and he released Hephaestus, "Help? I killed my best friend."

"Ares tricked you, Herc. He made you feel thirsty and replaced your water with alcohol. It wasn't your fault."

"He wasn't controlling what I did. I attacked Iolaus, I ki…" he couldn't seem to finish.

"No, Hercules," the half-god turned, for the second time that morning, he felt his heart stop and his breath catch.

"Iolaus?"

Iolaus smiled softly, "Aphrodite found me while I was hunting and told me that Strife had been bragging about Ares new plan."

Hercules did not know whether to rush and hug his friend or remain where he was.

"I didn't want anything to happen to Curly," Aphrodite continued, "but by the time I heard about it, you were already pretty wasted. So, I found Iolaus and made the switch. Ares had to believe he'd won. I'm sorry, Hercules, we didn't want to trick you."

"But I still—"

"No, Herc, that was part of Ares' plan, too. He'd been watching us, he put the idea of the fight into your mind, it wasn't you."

"But I remember…"

"Don't believe Ares' memories," Hephaestus said, "He wanted to make you feel as guilty as he possibly could. The double actually put up quite a fight. And he didn't beg for his life."

"C'mon, bro," Aphrodite interjected, "do you really think Iolaus would go down in two punches?"

"Two punches?!" Iolaus asked indignantly, "Oh, Herc, you don't think I'm that weak, do you?"

Hercules stood dumbfounded, still unsure if he was willing to believe that it was in fact Iolaus who stood before him, alive and well. "I…I didn't hold back. I put everything I had into those punches."

Iolaus sighed, realizing that there was nothing he could say to rid Hercules of his guilt, "Please, Hercules, I'm fine. Please forget about it."

Hercules sighed, unsure he could ever really rid himself of the image of Iolaus beaten, begging breathlessly for Hercules not to hit him again. Even if it had been a fake, and the memory created by Ares, that picture would always remain.

The End

A/N: Well, so there it is. Hope you all like it. It was written in 6 miserable hours spanning two of my horrible 4-hour math classes. Esh. I just woke up one morning with the idea in my head, and I can't write during my Pilates class, and I don't actually pay attention in math, so it gave me something to do.

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