I'm What?

By theladyknight

Disclaimer: Digimon—not mine!

Shouts out and an incredible amount of thanks to all of you who have been sticking with this story and picking it up as it's come along. Without your help and support, I probably would have abandoned it back near chapter 13. Thank you guys for everything! This is the last chapter; there will be no sequel. Hope to hear from you guys about this chapter too! And thank you all for reviewing last chapter and getting me to the 200 mark! Oh, and a special note regarding this chapter: present takes place 13 years in the future. Every other journal entry is listed by what year Sora was in school (ie…sophomore, junior, senior and college freshman) I hope that makes sense!

Due to the whole "no review responses", everything will be sent via the private messaging thing or e-mail. Anonymous reviewers: if you would like responses to your reviews, please leave me an e-mail address so I can thank you/answer any questions you have.

Chapter 22: Of What the Future Brings

Tuesday January 15 (Present)
Bedrooms

I don't know how she found it. Really, it just flat out baffles me. The box itself wasn't hard to find, crammed in a corner with nearly ten other boxes, all overflowing with pictures, articles and God knows what else. But she managed to. She waltzed right over to the box this morning while looking for something to do while it rained outside. I was starting to worry about her when I didn't hear so much as a peep from her all morning. She even skipped lunch; Taichi was beside himself when he didn't see her. No one should pass up lunch, in his mind. Then we heard a scream coming from the guest bedrooms, one that sounded like pure and utter delight.

And we decided to investigate.

Emilia was quietly lying on the carpeted floor, back slouched against the bed with a thick book in her hand. "Mama!" she exclaimed upon seeing me. "You kept a diary when you were little?"

Kari quirked an eyebrow in my direction as she reached down to my four-year old, very intelligent daughter and took the book from her hands. "You kept a diary when you were younger?"

Is that such a hard thing to believe?

"Sora, you kept a diary?"

I rolled my eyes at Taichi's comment, anticipating that it was coming soon. Takeru stood by the doorway, amused at the barrage of incredulous questions floating my way. "I'd say the same thing, but then again I think you've heard that a lot already."

"It wasn't a diary. It was a journal. Mom made me start keeping it back during the year I found out that I would someday become queen of this island. It's nothing big."

"I doubt that," Kari replied. "That year was hell for you. I bet there are some big things in there. And from the looks of things, you wrote in it a lot after your sophomore year." She gestured to the number of extra sheets of paper hastily shoved into the notebook. Emilia wandered over to the box and picked up a plethora of more paper with my handwriting scrawled over them.

"Aunt Kari's right, Mama. So can we read them?"

I stared at my daughter, locked in a staring contest. "Why should I let you guys read them? They're personal."

"Sor, it was over twelve years ago. You'll probably laugh at a lot of things that you wrote. Come on," Tai whined worse than my daughter. "You know you want to."

You know, as queen, I hold such a high ranking position. I have to make life-altering, important decisions daily, always thinking about the good of my people rather than myself. Why can Tai convince me to make rash decisions?

"All right, but I'm warning you in advance: you'll be surprised at some of the things I write about…"

They all barreled for the notebook. The guys took handfuls of inserted papers while Hikari and Emilia settled for the actual notebook. I headed over to the girls, ready to take a trip down memory lane, recalling some of the more interesting memories from my life…

Sunday April 30 (Sophomore)
Plaza Hotel

I have been up for the past twenty-eight hours. I should be sleeping and resting peacefully in Yamato's arms. He's wiped out, lying serenely underneath the covers of the hotel bed with his tuxedo still on. His warm arms are inviting me, beckoning and almost to the point of summoning me into them. But first I need to write about the events of last night in this.

Prom was…amazing. I've never really liked high school dances. People say that the only way to have fun at them is to make them fun, but I can't say I agree with that. My friends and I have tried; nothing has come from it. I was willing to erase that philosophy for one night.

Everyone says prom is one of his or her favorite high school memories. I found firsthand that statement is very true last night.

The dance was held here, the hotel Grams stayed at and the place Antonio is now residing in. Thousands of teenagers, all adorned in their nicest apparel, danced and hung out with friends during the dance. I stayed around Yama—obviously, as he was my date and the only way that I, a sophomore, could be at the junior-senior prom— and Taichi and his date for most of the night. Sure, I probably talked with hundreds of classmates that I never knew about, but I mostly hung with my closer friends.

Taichi looked like a pimp in his striped tuxedo. He completed the look, dawning a wooden cane with it as he entered the dance. His date wore a bright lime green dress that seemingly fit her personality, as I learned upon meeting her. I went for a more casual look, though I doubt it was much cheaper than anyone else's. When Grams found out about prom—and learned what it entailed—she immediately ordered her favorite designers to cook up a new dress specifically for me to wear just this one time. I ended up choosing from nearly fifty designs; apparently, Grams has a lot of friends to turn to when it comes to designing. It didn't take me long to narrow the field down. My choice ended up being another poofy number. What can I say; the look stuck after my coronation as princess. This one was baby blue with poof up to my ears. Some well placed silver jewelry and baby breath flowers in my hair made things look better. You know, sad as it is to say, I think I'm starting to get used to this whole wearing dresses thing.

And I sure as hell don't mind seeing Yama in a tux.

While most of the juniors and seniors are still down in the main ballrooms and party rooms chilling at after prom, Yama and I, both incredibly tired, escaped up here to Antonio's suite. He had begrudgingly allowed us to stay here afterwards.

But who was he to argue with my mom and dad?

Dad didn't want Yama driving us back. Sure, he absolutely loves my blond boyfriend to death—but Dad's still crazily protective. And he's afraid some drunken high school student that's stupid enough to decide to drive home may hit us. So after hearing any veto for Antonio to drive us to our respective apartments or letting Mom pick us up, my mother came up with the idea.

"There's plenty of room in your suite, Antonio. Why don't you let the two stay here? It makes perfect sense, seeing as they'll be right in the hotel anyway."

"Señora, are you serious?" Apparently he doubts Mom's decision-making in her pregnant state. "You really think it's okay for a teenage boy and girl—who, need I remind you, are romantically involved—to share a room together?"

"They're smart kids. Neither will do something stupid. And if you're there, it's not like they would even try to do anything like that if the idea even came to mind. I'm surprised you don't trust them, Antonio."

"I trust them on any other day, Señora Takenouchi. But this is prom night. Things happen on prom night when a bunch of hormonally charged males and females get into one room…"

I glanced up to see Antonio looking at me. He was sitting in the reclining chair in the bedroom part of his suite, rocking back and forth with an unbelievably stern expression on his face. "You do know that you can go to bed, Yo. I haven't needed a babysitter in a long time."

"Not until you do."

I rolled my eyes, knowing what he was thinking. He thought that if he wasn't keeping a watchful eye, we would do something. "Would you get it out of your mind that Yama and I are going to have sex if you leave us alone? Seriously, Yo…do you really think we'd do that? I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing in here."

He stared at me for a few more minutes before lethargically rising to his feet and exiting. "I'll be sleeping on the sofa in the living room. But if I hear any type of sound, and I think you know what I'm referring to, Princesa, I will be in here faster than you can stop whatever you're doing. And believe me; I'll be listening."

My cheeks flushed as he grumpily stomped out of the room. Honestly, I don't know why he seems to think that Yama and I are going to have sex. We've been together for five months and neither of us is emotionally ready for this. Our relationship is more than just physical. He cares about me, and I about him. I don't want to jump into something like that just because everyone else is, according to the facts on the bathroom wall at school. Yamato and I both have high morals, and we plan on sticking to them. If sometime in the future we know it's time, then it will happen. But for right now, we're content with the boat we're in.

I shut this, picking it up later to write more, before pulling back the covers next to the blond. My dress made it hard for me to climb in, but I somehow managed to pull myself closer to him, bumping the blond in the process.

His head moved toward me and eyes fluttered open. "Sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be," he wrapped his arms around me. "What took you so long?"

"Antonio was watching me like a hawk. And I had to write some things down."

He kissed me lightly, running his hands through my still done-up hair and knocking the flowers out in the process. "Well, I'm glad you're here now."

"Me too," I stifled a yawn. "It's hard to believe it's already 5:00."

"You're telling me. But I'm going to enjoy sleeping in the rest of the morning, holding you in my arms."

I blushed again. My lips found his in a more heated kiss. Everything felt right here with him. He had been with me for so long, through so much and supported me through everything. Sure, we'd had our fights, but nothing was to the point of wanting to kill each other. "Yamato…I…I love you."

It was the first time either one of us had actually said the words. I was unsure what he would respond or if he'd respond at all. He grinned an adorable, sleepy grin at me, pulling me closer to him. "You know, I could get very used to waking up beside you every morning for the rest of my life…"

Tuesday October 24 (Junior)
New York City

Why did we let him lead? Why were we so stupid as to do so? Seriously, Hikari warned me all about it, but I was so mesmerized by the thought of seeing Yama that it slipped my mind.

"I was not under the impression that it would take us over an hour to get to this place." Antonio murmured to me as we rode what seemed to be subway number five to God knows where.

No, theoretically even with traffic and no familiarity with the Big Apple, we shouldn't have had any problem getting there. Lincoln Center shouldn't have been that hard to find.

Except we put Taichi in charge of directions.

I know; I know I should have been the one to talk to Yamato and get them from him. I did talk to my boyfriend, but the conversation was very abrupt, as it seems all our talks have been lately.

Is that some sort of bad omen or something? I mean, ever since he moved out to the east coast and college started, things became different between us. Sure, obviously the stress of college accounts somewhat for the change, but there's something more to it. Before he moved to New York City during August, we promised to call once a week and e-mail regularly. At first, that plan—the one we'd come to agree made the most sense—was a seemingly perfect fit.

But then things started to slip. I understand Yamato has grown increasingly busier; being a performing arts major at one of the toughest schools in America can't be easy, right? But it's not like my life is any simpler than that. Grams went absolutely czarish on me over the summer. Princess lessons are now online. So not cool.

Hopefully, I'm just overreacting, making something out of nothing. Right now, I have other things to concentrate on, mainly dealing with us being lost.

This was supposed to be the perfect vacation for us. Yamato asked us all to come watch him sometime this year, and this week was the best opportunity. Things really haven't started picking up in school for Takeru, Hikari and me. It was the perfect chance for us to skip out for a few days. And, to make this trip better, Tai could come along too. He luckily happens to be out on a fall break for the next week. How fair is that? We slave our butts away in school too and our first break isn't until Thanksgiving.

But I guess college is supposed to be harder. Breaks are probably well deserved; I bet Tai's loving it. It was kind of surprising where he decided to go. While Yama headed one direction, Taichi decided to stay in the Midwest. But he didn't stay close to home. He's now studying—or at least leaning towards—business at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska. We were all a bit shocked he chose to go there considering it's one of the more academically challenging schools in the Midwest. And it isn't exactly the cheapest one either.

But their soccer team is amazing.

That was probably one of the influencing factors for him. Taichi was recruited by the coaches, but unfortunately, didn't make the team come tryouts. However, the coach told my bushy-haired friend to think positively. With a little work and some patient waiting—considering most of the spots on the team were filled with seniors—Tai will be starting next year with a full-ride scholarship greeting him.

The Yagamis were a bit wary about letting him go there this year without a full-ride. At $30,000 a year, Creighton was just a bit expensive. Taichi qualified for a few academic scholarships—I was so proud; I didn't know he had it in him! But next year's extra help will definitely make things better. I know his parents agree.

Tai loves it out there, and he's constantly goading me to come visit and actually go to college there next year. "You can afford it," he mumbled over the phone the day we started planning this excursion to New York City.

There are some things that never change; it's good to know Tai's one of them.

But, getting back on track, we put Tai in charge of directions so he wouldn't feel completely useless. His sister, Takeru, Antonio and I all took care of the rest, and he did want something to do. At least he got us to the hotel. But that's more than we can say about Lincoln Center.

Enough was enough. At the next station, the five of us got off, heading up to the top and trying to figure out where the hell we were. "Yamato?"

"Where are you guys? The concert's going to start in forty-five minutes. Seats are filling up."

I relayed our location after taking a quick glance at the street sign illuminated by the streetlights. It took everything I had not to snicker as I heard him groan in the background. "Tai took directions from you…remember?"

"I never told him to get on the subway!"

"Hand me your notes," I demanded to the brunette. He obliged, all the while grumbling about dumb blondes. "The directions to the hotel were fine, but we're lost now." I skimmed over things. "What the hell does this say, Tai?"

"Four subway stops," he called back.

"I never told you that, Tai!" I put it on speaker phone so they could yell at each other and duke things out in the typical alpha male game they loved to play.

"Well, that's what I have written down!"

While they bickered, I took the paper and studied it. "How could you follow these, Taichi? I can barely read them." I vaguely made out words, only one of the scribbles resembling "subway". "Tai, you dork! This says 'keep going this way until…' How did you get subway out of that?"

His face began to match that of a cherry tomato as he quickly looked it over. "It looked like subway at the time!"

Clearly, Yamato was rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone. That or he was hitting something—yet kept it quiet so we couldn't hear it. "Here's what you guys need to do. Find a taxi, tell the driver to get you to Lincoln Center and make it pronto…"

---

"I can definitely see why you got accepted, Yamato. That was brilliant."

"Thanks, Hikari," the blond sincerely said. "At least someone appreciates my efforts."

"What?" Taichi held up his hands in defense. "Come on; tell me how you can't concentrate on a bunch of girls wearing tight little spandex things?"

"That's all you think about, big brother."

Antonio, probably wondering once more and more how he got stuck with a group of teenagers, rolled his eyes. "You performed well, Yamato."

My boyfriend shot a genuine smile in the Latino's direction. "Thank you, Antonio." He took my hand as we walked out of Lincoln Center with him an hour and a half later, thoroughly satisfied with the concert we had just seen. "Well?"

"You were fantastic! I don't know much about music—but wow!—that concert was amazing. If you guys are already this good, I wonder how you'll be in a couple of years."

The blond grinned up at me, walking us to the street corner. "Listen, you all might want to head back to the hotel. I feel like such a jerk for having to do this, but I kind of have some plans for the night. I promised some of the guys in one of my ensembles that I'd hit this new jazz club with them tonight so we could get some ideas for this upcoming project. I really hate doing this to you all, but I can't get out of this. I promise we'll spend as much of the day together as we can, though, tomorrow."

Takeru gave a fake sniff of indignation. "Hmmp…I'll remember this come Christmas, Yamato. See if I'm generous to you."

"Back at you, Takeru."

"Ooh, can I call the cab?" Taichi called out.

Antonio somehow managed to keep a straight face. "It could be a little while. We'll let you two talk until then." He ushered the others aside, and they all settled in to watch Tai put into use his taxi calling skills.

Yamato lifted my chin up with his fingers. "I'm sorry I have to bail on you. If I could do anything to get out of this, you know I would."

"I know; it's just been a few months since I last saw you. E-mail and phoning are all good, but it's not the same as seeing you in person, talking to you and being with you."

"I know, love. Life's a bitch…it always seems to happen like this. I would take you with me tonight but considering you're a "minor" and are relatively well known…"

I snickered. "I understand; I was just looking forward to spending some time with you this weekend. We won't see each other till Thanksgiving…"

"I don't think I'll be coming home for Thanksgiving."

"Why?"

"There's too much to do here with Julliard, concerts and things like that. And our break isn't that long; I'll basically be there for two or three days."

"So? Two or three days are a lot better than nothing."

"I know…but with the cost of tickets and stuff, I don't know if it's smart to come back." A car honked in the background. "Yo, Yamato, dude, what's taking so long? We're going to miss things if we don't get kicking."

One of the trumpeters from the jazz group Yama had played with walked over to us. "Taylor, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Sora."

"Nice to meet ya," he winked, giving me the once over. I glared back at him, hoping Yamato was doing the same thing.

"Sora! We got the cab! It's time to go."

I looked up to the blond. "So, I guess we'll meet up with you tomorrow."

"Yep. Call my cell, and I'll let you know everything." He leaned down, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Bye."

My eyes narrowed as he and his buddy walked off. Okay, what the hell was up with that? Why was he acting so cold and distant? I don't care if guys have the whole "I'm macho and gotta prove I'm tougher than you and can't show an emotion" hormone in their bodies. Yamato could have at least shown some sign of love or care.

This is so not how I thought this trip was going to turn out…

Thursday August 23 (Senior)
Bathroom

I don't care if they're outside calling for me. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want their sympathy. I don't want to be pitied.

I just want Yamato.

It was nearly two flipping years. TWO YEARS! Probably 1,000,000 kisses, 100,000 I-love-yous and two flipping years of love and admiration just to have mud thrown in my face…

I had just about conquered my insomnia. The clock on the wall arrogantly shone 12:30 as if knowing my dilemma and wanting to antagonize me. Today was the first day of my last year of high school, and I was actually looking forward to it. Come May, I'll be ready to go off to college and get ready for my future; if that makes any sense whatsoever considering my future's kind of set in stone.

My battle with the rugged warrior was almost done. I tried counting sheep, thinking of how boring Physics would be and doing everything in my power to yawn and close my eyes. It seemed like I finally gained the upper hand and sleep was gladly ready to take over my body.

Then I heard it.

Mom and Mr. R. are heavy sleepers. They don't hear things unless they're really loud and noticeable. Tommy is the opposite. My little half-brother sleeps fittingly. Knowing that he wouldn't be up walking around at this time in the morning and that the footsteps in the kitchen sounded like an adults', I figured something was up. And prayed that Tommy would sleep right through it.

Carefully, I stood up, hoping that I wouldn't attract Mom's and Mr. R's attention either. That's the last thing I need right now. I picked up a flashlight from my room as I went, not to turn on but to possibly hit the intruder with. I tiptoed out of my room and nearly dropped the flashlight in shock as I recognized the person.

"Yama, what are you…"

He cut me off with a hasty kiss. I had no idea what the meaning of it was. Okay, yeah, it's not like I'm going to argue or fight against him anytime he kisses me. Why the hell would I do that? It's just the nature of the kiss. Why is he here just after midnight—sneaking into my house, threatening to wake up my little brother and facing the parents' fury—just to kiss me? Sure, he leaves for New York tomorrow and I start school tomorrow, but I don't think that's something to earn this? There's gotta be an ulterior motive.

"Can we talk somewhere?"

It didn't take him long to utter that sentence, one that so rivaled the infamous "we have to talk" line that nearly caused me to have a heart attack on the spot. We have to talk…I can think of thousands of things that have been started by those words and none of them ended well.

"Let's go outside, the way you came up." I whispered, hoping to God that no one else in my family heard our voices. It was pure luck the way it was that Tommy didn't wake up screaming. We would have way too much explaining to do then.

I followed Yamato out onto the fire exit, shutting the door in the process. Burr; it may be August but that doesn't mean it's going to the nice out here now, particularly wearing pajamas. "So…"

"I'd say you'd better start explaining whatever you're here for. I don't have any idea what it is, and I know we didn't make plans to rendezvous at this time in the morning, Yama."

"I know we both should be sleeping; I leave for New York at 6:30. But I had to see you."

"We saw each other last night, Yamato. We watched movies with Kari and Takeru."

He shook his head, running his hands through his hair. "I…look, you're going to think I'm a jerk the way it is, but I couldn't let you hate me even more."

"I don't hate you for anything. In case for some very odd reason you've forgotten, we've been together for almost two years. I love you."

"I know you do, Beautiful, and know I love you to. But…I…I think it would be in our best interests to see other people."

WTF?

"Okay, hold the phone for a minute. Where the hell did that come from?" I demanded, doing my best to keep my voice as low as possible.

"Let me explain, please," he was begging, pleading with me to understand. Practical jokes and all are fine and stuff except when they're cruel. I'd say this qualifies as cruel. Please, let me be dreaming. Let this be some sad attempt at being Punk'd. "Sora, I love you more than you will ever know, but this distance thing is killing us. We started out last year pretty well, talking and writing a lot. But then things slipped to every other week, then every month, then every other month…our relationship basically fell apart."

"What's motivating you to say this? Sure, Yamato, I noticed the slow plummet of our relationship over the last year. But things got better. When we noticed, we did what we could to salvage ourselves and fight against the distance issue. It takes work to make something last, Yamato. You and I both know that. We realized that before something bad could happen, and we prevented it. And after this summer, I assumed things were flying high between us. Things mended. We're strong people, Yamato. Breaking up because of fears is stupid!"

He put his arms on my shoulders. "Sora, that's not my entire reasoning for this. Julliard is not an easy school. This year is going to be hard; last year was hard and it nearly destroyed our relationship. I need to focus on other things as well. If maintaining our relationship is going to be as time-consuming and hard as it was last year, then it probably is a good idea if we break up. I can't put a relationship at the top of a priority list right now."

"I know what you're going through, Yama. I'm in the same boat with this year in school, but that doesn't mean…"

"Just try to understand my point of view, Sora."

"Understand?" My temper was starting to get the better of me. "I don't know what died in your ass, Yamato. You haven't given me a single bit of solid evidence as to why we should break up. I love you; you love me. Sure, distance is hard, but we can overcome it. It's like you're covering for something." My mouth dropped. "You…you didn't find…a different girl in New York?"

His silence was evidence enough.

"I can't believe you, Yamato! I loved you and…"

"There is no other girl! Damn it, Sora! Do you think I'd sink so low as to try and replace you when you own my heart? Sure, there are millions of other girls there, and quite a few have hit on me, but I'm never going to cheat on you."

"Is that why you're breaking up with me then? So you won't be "cheating on me"?"

"No! I'm breaking up with you because I don't have time for a relationship. There's too much else going on in my life that's seems to overwhelm "us". With you so many miles away and all the shit going on with college and stuff, it seems only logical. Sora, I could never ask for someone like you in my life if I know I can't completely devote myself to you. And with everything going on, I can't. You're too amazing of a girl to waste your time pining over me and waiting for me. You'll find someone else, someone who can keep his pace in a relationship and not get overwhelmed."

I stared at him, feeling my eyes get hazy. So this is it. He won't take no for an answer. Any logical, reasonable argument I counter with doesn't work. He's being stubborn, allowing his stupid fears to take over. "Do you know how selfish you're being right now?"

"I'm not being selfish; I'm looking out for both of us."

"Are you really? I don't want to break up with you. I love you, Yamato. I can't see myself with anyone but you. The way things look, it seems like you're so afraid, afraid to put your heart on the line again. You're letting it consume you. You're chickening out."

"Sora, please try to understand me," he repeated.

"You're being ridiculous, Yamato. Your cowardice is making me sick."

"Look, do you really think I asked for things to turn out this way? I love you too, Sora. But being in a relationship right now is too much…"

"Save it. I don't want to hear it."

He tried again. "You know it's killing me to do this."

"Then why are we breaking up?"

"It's for the best for both of us, believe it or not. You're only eighteen. I'm twenty."

"I thought we agreed age wasn't a factor!"

"You have so much going for you…"

I couldn't take it anymore. I watched him wince as my hand collided with his cheek, my vision being blurred by my tears. "Save your pathetic arguments, Yamato. If you love me as much as you claim, you wouldn't be breaking up for some stupid reason like this."

"I would rather have it end this way than over the phone or by a letter."

"If you're going to be stupid and stubborn, Yamato, than maybe it's a good thing this relationship is ending. I don't want to be with someone who isn't committed. Leave me alone. Go, have fun in New York. Have fun with all your friends. Indulge in your studies. Go find a woman who cares about your philosophy on love. See if I care."

"Sora, don't be like this. Despite this, I still want us to be friends…"

"Friends? I think all chances of that are long out the window." My heart was broken and dropped all fifteen stories down to the sidewalk. "We have too much history for this to happen."

"Sora…"

I pushed him toward the stairs. "Leave, Yamato." My voice was like ice, but the effect didn't come off as I was choking back tears. "I'm done listening to this bull shit."

"Sora…"

"I guess this is it, Yamato. This is what you wanted. We're done." Funny how I was uttering these words when it was he who initiated them. So much for my rational self being here still.

"Sora…"

"Goodbye, Yamato."

He gave me a fleeting glance, one mixed with an assortment on emotions, before slowly climbing down the fire escape, glancing at me as he went. I headed back inside, not caring how much noise I made. The tears finally came down.

So this is it?

How did we let things get so out of hand? How could I be so irrational? How could he be so irrational? I walked into my room, locked the door and here I am. I'm not going to school. I don't care if it's the first day. Some senior year this is starting out to be…

Friday March 14 (Senior)
AP Language and Composition

I'm such a bitch.

Sweet, kind little Sora would never have thought to do anything like this before. If the press found out about it, oh God…Grams and Dad would kill me.

I think Takeru knows it's me. Hikari does, but she swore she wouldn't tell. Obviously Mimi knows, as she was my accomplice. But neither Taichi nor the Ishidas—at least from what I've gathered—have it figured out. They probably just thought it was a high school prank that hit the wrong family.

But I'm sure Yamato knows…

Okay…so I let my stupid anger take me over. He's back for like two weeks…two weeks where we should have tried to work out our differences. Two weeks where we could have made some amends. Two weeks to get back a relationship we've both missed for the past half a year.

But two weeks went out the window with my stupidity.

I claim temporary insanity. Seeing him—after no communication and complete avoidance (though we should have tried to rectify things immediately)—nearly killed me. He was willingly coming to face me, though probably egged on by Taichi and the others.

Okay, I snapped. He came into my mom's flower shop where I was manning the counter, and I nearly dropped the roses I was holding. "What do you want?"

Yamato looked a bit wary as my rude voice interrupted the huge tension. "Sora, I…we…can we talk?"

"I wanted to talk to you six months ago, but you didn't listen. What makes you think I want to know that you have to say? I don't have time for you, Yamato. Just like you didn't have time for me."

"Sora, I need to…"

"…leave? Yeah, you do. I told you then that I didn't want any of your pathetic excuses."

"I miss you so much." He continued on like he hadn't heard me. I'll admit, his confession managed to make me shut up, but my stubborn mind was still controlling my heart. "Sora, I still love you. I never stopped. I just stopped thinking and realized what an idiot I was being."

"That's an understatement."

"I was wrong."

"Do you really think you're going to waltz right in here and win me back? You broke my heart, Yamato. You just can't say "I love you" and make everything okay again."

His face gave off a desperate plea. "But it's the truth."

AT this point, my anger kicked in and nice Sora went…well, she just vanished. "This isn't something I can just forget. You don't know what I've been through over the past few months. You didn't ever bother to write or call."

"And you did?"

"Don't try and turn the tides on me!"

His eyes molded into an unreadable icy glare. "Weren't you the one who kicked me out, saying we couldn't be friends? Do you really think you would've listened to me if I had called?"

I held up a potted fern as a weapon. "Get out. Just leave me alone. Your apology didn't work."

STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Why the hell did I just say that?

With a fleeting look, way too reminiscent of the last time we spoke, he left. I nearly collapsed to the ground, berating myself for my temper and stupidity. How did I let that happen again? I want us to get back together, not stay broken. "Sora, are you okay? I heard some yelling." Mom emerged out of the back room, a concerned look painting her face.

"I'm fine." I demanded, scaring her a bit with my tone of voice.

"Things didn't sound fine."

"Look, Mother, I'm FINE!" I yelled back, anger with Yamato and myself getting to her now.

She stood her ground, staring right back at me. "No you're not. I don't know what's bothering you, but something is. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? I don't need you here being like this in front of customers, and it looks like you could use a break."

I stormed out of the store with a strong idea of some revenge for the blond. And I knew just who would help me with it…

Okay, so Hikari said no. Evil Sora wasn't thinking then. There's no way Hikari would help me with it anyway, even if she was pissed off. But at least she promised she wouldn't tell. Mimi agreed, a bit reluctantly, but I finally won her over with the idea of some danger. We snuck out at night and performed our act in the dark.

Morning came and passed, and I looked out my window at 7:00 the next morning, watching as Yamato and Takeru stared at his former beautiful car, now decorated with a lot of eggs. The satisfaction should have been getting to me. I should have been dancing and singing.

Why am I feeling so guilty?

Wednesday January 21 (Freshman)
Hotel bedroom NYC

I was such a fool back then. Looking back over my old high school journals—since I've basically given up writing in them—it's hard to believe what messes I was capable of getting in. Now, I only write if I find myself in a complete jam or if something incredible has happened. I'd say this time, for once, things fit into the "incredible" category.

I never thought I'd have an opportunity to hit the Big Apple again, particularly as a college student. Let's just say, money isn't exactly the easiest to come by. I'm paying for my college expenses on my own, save for Mom and Dad chipping in for room and board. I know Dad could easily pay for me to go to the most expensive college in the world if he wanted to. But I'm content with where I am, and this paying for everything experience will probably be more beneficial than I think.

I am a freshman at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, Iowa. It's far enough from home so that I don't visit on the weekends, but close enough so that I can come home if I want to. Right now, I'm kind of undecided as to what I want to study. It's not like it matters at the moment, though, because I still have until next year to declare a major. I'm thinking I want to go into political science, communications or business. Sure, I already have my future job lined up for me, but I want to be as well rounded as I can be.

Campus is a nice place, and I've met some really nice people. I still talk to my other friends, but I had to adjust to not having them close by me. Takeru and Hikari are still in high school. Mimi is studying the culinary arts at Kendall College in Chicago. She's still in very close proximity to Koushiro. He's at Northwestern University, studying at the Chicago campus. Tai still loves Creighton—he was the star of the soccer team this year, and he's found a girlfriend! And Yamato…well, he's here in New York.

No, I did not come all this way just to see him. I'm here on a trip over winter break with the leadership program I'm apart of. We're going to sit in on some government meetings here, talk to local and state political leaders in New York and see the sights before heading to Washington D.C. to repeat the process. Okay, so I'll admit my motives weren't completely school related when I decided to come here. New York City's a gigantic place, though. The odds of me running into Yamato somewhere were slim to none.

But, you know, fate just happened to like me.

We arrived two nights ago and settled down at our hotel. That night, we were to attend this "statesmen's ball" that is put on by some of the higher ranking officials. We would mingle, eat and listen to the entertainment. The entertainment that just happened to be provided by some of Julliard's finer students.

Guess who got chosen…

He was sitting at the grand piano, fingers dancing across the keys. A smile of contentment graced his features as he played the accompaniment. His cerulean eyes jumped in time with the music. His golden hair was a complete contrast to the suit he and the other performers were wearing. It made him look mysterious and secretive…as if he was hiding something from everyone.

I fell in love with him all over again.

He was performing before us with a group of about ten other Julliard students. My eyes never left him as they started up into yet another slow ballad. Brenda, the girl next to me, noticed and gave me a nudge. "So, you're enamored with the blond too?"

I snapped out of my trance, taking a look around and noticing that most of the other girls were giggling and looking in his direction. "It looks like there's going to be some competition," my friend Katie replied, taking sight of this as well.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," I mumbled beneath my breath.

The song, a love-struck ballad, continued to play on as we ate our desserts and watched more and more people gather in. Men and women, all wearing professional looking suits, conferred with one another, ate, talked and danced on the floor. We all began to politely clap as the song ended. "Thank you, everyone. We're going to be taking a twenty minute break, but then we'll be back and ready to take some requests."

They began to disperse from the area, some heading over to talk with different individuals and some moving to the buffet line. I immediately knew where Yama would be headed. While the girls all flocked to where he stood, I stood up—winking at my two friends—and heading over to the bar. "Can I get a water with some lemon?" I asked, knowing the drink Yamato always had in between performances.

I watched, amused and a bit jealous, as the girls giggled around him, praising him for his different assets they saw. He maneuvered around them, all the while acting kind and courtesy. I turned my back as I saw him approach the bar. "Here…"

He quizzically turned away before he could order. His eyes met mine and mouth dropped. "Sora…"

I handed him the beverage, very aware that many of the eyes of my classmates were on me. "It's…it's been a long time, Yamato."

"It's been too long," he replied, sipping from the water. "You remembered?"

"Of course. This was the only think you'd ever drink after a performance."

"So…"

"So…"

"Would you like to dance?" He grinned apologetically, and I gave a sheepish smile as we both uttered the same line. "I'd like that." Again, we spoke in unison.

He put down the empty glass, reaching for my hand and leading me out onto the dance floor where Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" soothingly played. My arms wrapped comfortably around his broad shoulders, and his own arms pulled me tightly to him.

"You're shaking," his husky voice breathed into my ear, breaking the silence and getting right to the point. "Beautiful, tell me what's wrong."

"I can't stand all this beating around the bush." I finally whispered. "Yamato, I'm sorry for everything. I owe you so many apologies, and I don't know where to start."

"I promise to listen to everything you have to say."

"And I'll do the same for you." I paused, waiting to see if he had any comment. "I guess you figured out that I'm the one who egged your car."

He tried to smile. "I had a feeling; Takeru seemed pretty certain. Hostility was in the air between us. Neither of us was thinking properly."

"I just feel so bad. I was such a bitch to you that day. You came to talk, to attempt to make us work out again. I just freaked out seeing you there. I wanted to get back together." I hesitated. "I want to get back together with you. I still love you, Yama."

The blond pulled me closer, and I breathed in his cologne. "I love you, too, Sora. But you were right when you said we can't make things better with the snap of a finger. If we're going to make this last then we have to take things slowly once again and work with everything in our power to keep this lasting."

"I want my future with you, Yamato." I admitted for the first time out loud. "You're the only person I can see myself with. I've tried dating others, but none of them even compared to you. We've made some mistakes, been given a bunch of chances and been led back to each other. Isn't the third time a charm?"

"In our case, I really hope it is. I've gone through the same boat as you, Sor. I think we have a better shot at things now that we're more mature and better able to think things out than jump to conclusions. I want to have everything I had with you before…and more."

"You know I want the same, and I'll do everything I can to work toward it with you."

He leaned down, placing a soft chaste kiss on my lips. "Let's give this relationship another chance…"

Sunday May 9 (Ten years after the last entry…)
Royal Bedroom

I feel like floating on air, and I know I'm not the only one to feel that way. Takeru and Hikari are FINALLY MARRIED! We all thought they were going to be married right after college, but they waited a few years. Both have dual citizenship between the US and PPI, as do Yamato, Taichi, Mimi, Koushiro and I. None of my friends could get away from me! Kari's a grade school teacher, a fine one at that. Takeru has worked his way up to senior writer for one of the capital's newspapers. Mimi owns a couple of restaurants up in Chicago and is just starting a few up here. I can't wait till they open. Koushiro studied computer engineering in college, going on to become, basically, the next Bill Gates. We all expected it of him. Taichi runs my tourism department of the government. He's so well adapted to things here; it's like he's been living here all his life. People absolutely love him. And Yamato…well, his job's kind of obvious, though he does teach music lessons on the side of things.

But, back to the wedding. Hikari stole the show completely. I have never seen a bride look so beautiful. The only person who rivaled her beauty was my daughter, Emilia. That girl got all her father's charm. People were gushing as she walked down the aisle, dropping bits of rose behind her.

That's the reason why I dug out these old journals in the first place. I usually only write if something big happens. And I think this qualifies as monumental.

It had to be the cutest sight I've seen. After the wedding was over—and more rivers were formed from our tears—the dance was held. At one point, the DJ called for a father-daughter dance. Antonio caught the whole thing on camera. Emilia looked even more adorable, getting footprints all over her father's shoes. Yamato just beamed at her the whole time, spinning her around and making her giggle.

"Can I cut in?" I asked, walking over to them midway through the song.

"Mama…do you have to?" she whined.

"Yes I do. I need to talk to you father about something. But then I'll let you dance with him again, okay?"

"Okay, Mama."

My husband, best friend, lover and King smirked at me. "What's this about? I know I'm a sought-after guy, but I was enjoying that moment with my daughter. What's up that you so desperately needed to talk to me?"

I smiled at my husband of five years, casually looking over at our four-year old daughter, too. "Well, I figured what better time to tell you than during the father dance."

"What are you getting at, Beautiful?"

"If Taichi gets his butt around to getting married in the next few years, you're going to have another child to dance with…" I let my comment linger, and it didn't surprise me that he didn't catch on right away.

"What do you…Oh my God!"

Took him long enough.

"You're pregnant?"

A beam overtook my face. "We both wanted another child, Yama. I'm twenty-nine; you're thirty-one. I don't want our children to be young while you continue to age and scare them with all your wrinkles."

"Very funny." He pulled me to him. "I'm so happy for you, for us. This is amazing." Could you tell he was happy? He beckoned for Emilia to join us. The blond picked her up before wrapping his arms around me again. "I don't know if I could ask for anything more right now. Together we danced as a family, and I silently agreed with my husband…

Wednesday January 16 (Present—a couple months after last entry)
Royal Bedroom

"What are you doing, Beautiful?"

"Nothing strenuous, Yamato." I rolled my eyes at my husband's protective manner. Honestly, once I started to show, he's become so motherishly protective of me. "I'm just writing some things down."

"I'm going to take Emilia to the park to play. If you need anything, just…"

"…call. Yes, I know. Otherwise I'll call for Antonio. He's more reliable than you."

"Very funny. I love you, Sor."

"I love you too, Yamato."

He exited with a wave, allowing me to finally get a chance to finish writing in this. It's hard to believe the way my life has turned out. I've experienced all the goods mixed in with loads of bads, yet survived everything. Everything in my life has shaped me in some way. I am and will forever be Sora Isabel Anamaría Takenouchi Olivarez-Ishida, Queen of Prince Phillipe's Isle. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

The End!

A/N: Thank you to all of you for sticking with this story. Please let me know what you thought of the last chapter of this. I hope you all liked it! Thank you, once again for all your support. I'm now moving onto the last chapter of Artistic Differences and if all goes well, it'll be up sometime in the next week. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!