I tried to talk to Frasier about my affair. He didn't listen. He never does. He never seems to hear a word I say. Googey made me feel wanted and alive. Speaking with Frasier about what happens has only served to remind me of all the reasons I had my affair.

Frasier is so predictable. I'd hoped that with all this he might change. I'd hoped that he might actually, really listen to me for once. He didn't though. Frasier is completely predictable. I tried my best to talk to him but his reactions were like watching a movie I'd seen so often I could recite it.

That's what makes Googey so attractive to me, I think. He's not like some over-viewed movie. He's a free-thinker. He's exciting--And more than that he adores me. He adores me just like Frasier used to, and he listens in a way Frasier never has. The void I've been feeling is gone. It's been filled and I feel truly happy for the first time in a very long while.

Frasier has lost his chance. Out of loyalty to him as his wife I told him about my affair and I tried to give him a chance to try and fix all of this. I wanted to give my marriage a second chance. After all, I've invested years into it, but it's simply not worth it. Frasier will never change, not how I need him too. Certain behaviors can be changed, others modified and others no one can do anything about. That's my field. I know what I'm talking about.

He won't be happy about this. He's predictable like that too. He's going to argue and he's going to try and stop me, but it's too late. I need something different and more than that, I think I may be in love with Googey. He's made me so happy. He's taken away so much of the pain that Frasier has caused me.

I need to give this I try. I won't divorce Frasier, I feel like I owe him that much, but I also owe it to myself to try and be happy again. I owe it to myself to feel something more than loneliness and neglect.

I'm determined to leave him.