Expiring

Disclaimer: I now own a life-size poster of Alan Rickman as Severus Snape. And I'm happy with that. As previously stated, not mine.

Inspiration taken from a mixture of Darren Hayes' gorgeous new album, 'The Tension and the Spark', and also snippets of Oi Va Voi's I keep listening to on their site. Depressing stuff reflecting my teenage hormones at the moment. (Damn hormones.)

In the last chapter, I finally introduced a proper plot device, so we now have a storyline...only took me ten chapters... Laughs. So, now we get to see whether Draco retrieves his incriminating items from the house-elf, and how he deals with Voldermort in the process. And we also get to see the shock of Lucius post-second kiss. Grins. And Severus is in there somewhere...looking pretty and all that. Also (OMG!) there's Narcissa POV! Gasp!

Warning: Drugs mentioned again. Sorry...but no needles this time my loves! Smoking is also mentioned.


Despite his thoughts of Gryffindor courage, Draco was deeply troubled. His steps were light but purposeful, and his head held high, though he really wanted to turn and hide. He might already know as it is. This could well be suicide. He ignored his pessimistic side, and studied the interior of his own home as though it was something he'd never seen before. But, now, he was seeing it through different eyes; the rose-tinted glasses had been taken from him, and stamped upon, and now his whole perception was skewed.

Every pair of cool Malfoy eyes upon him felt dangerous and unwanted. This place was one of pain and hatred, and only now did he understand quite why this was; and he hated it even more than he hated what it had made his father. Every last highly polished surface was horrific, every perfectly painted ostentatious portrait a parody of a fake reality. Everything paid for with blood money – dirty money...

The sparkling chandeliers above began to shudder, and vibrations to his feet told him that the Dark Lord was continuing with his demonstrations in the ballroom. I swear, that house-elf is going to get such a hiding, he thought darkly, scowling. But even this focused anger metamorphosed into terror as he stepped onto the marble of the ground floor. Now he was on the same floor as him. The one who'd caused more pain and suffering than a dozen muggle dictators, and was just as ridiculously narrow-minded. Genocide...that's all it's been...

When he came to the last, long, gold-studded corridor, he paused, and stood perfectly still, listening. People were talking, and there were bursts of laughter – he judged by the lack of anger, that he was still hidden. He put up a mask of slightly sleepy wonderment, hoping that his mother would think he was a little ill, and thus would explain his absence with the same excuse. Then, after casting a look over his shoulder, and catching a glimpse of the current Malfoy family portrait hanging on the wall above the gallery, he had the courage to continue.

For father. And for everything else...hell, even for Dumbledore... For everyone against him. Thoughts of bravery and the nobility of his actions in the forefront of his mind, Draco Malfoy strutted proudly down the corridor, in the way that only a Malfoy could. His eyes were quick and alert, but veiled with something that could have been sleep, but could just as easily have been something else. His posture was straight. Tall. Proud.

He was perfection.

He was everything.

And he was nothing.

He was something to some.

Draco was at the door. He stopped, hand casually resting upon the filigreed door handle, carven with the device of Slytherin. He looked down, expecting the snake to come to life and wrap it's cool body around his fingers, preventing entry. But no...for once, there were no wards in place, nothing to keep him out. Then they must think I'm old enough, he thought, a mixture of pride and sickness in the pit of his churning stomach. But...am I?

There was a slight click, and the door opened away from him, seemingly of its own accord. However, when something brushed past him, bumping into his legs as it went by. On instinct, Draco threw out a hand, and grabbed the house-elf by its tea-towel toga. The whole company assembled in the room beyond stared at him, but he ignored them. Its hands are empty. He dropped the offending elf, ensuring that it did at least land in a painful position on the floor.

"Draco, darling, where have you been?" Narcissa asked, suddenly walking up behind him – she must have spotted him walking down the hallway on her way to check on his rooms. She linked her arms with his, and propelled him into the room. Draco fixed a dull smile on his face, which seemed to suffice, as a few of the gathered death eaters returned his smile with their own icy ones...

"I just went to see how father was; and I was feeling a little under the weather myself earlier, so I thought I'd best stay out of the way," he explained, accentuating his point with a small cough at the end. His mother's eyebrows launched upwards, feigning concern, and she paused slightly to throw her thin arms around his neck, and give him what she obviously felt was a 'comforting' hug. Draco was so surprised by this that it took him a few seconds to realise what was going on, and then he carefully backed out of the embrace,

"I wouldn't get so close mother – I shouldn't want you to get ill as well."

"Ah, of course darling; how considerate of you. But, if you are so unwell, then what are you doing down here?" her tone was jovial, though to Draco it was obviously forced. Looking to her place at the table, he saw that his textbook was lying next to her plate. It was obvious that it had been opened, because the ribbon bookmark attached to the spine was lying like a black slash against the white tablecloth. That bloody elf must have told her what it saw... Quickly, he thought of an acceptable lie to try and get the book back without rousing suspicion from the other death eaters.

"Well, I was going to do some work, but then I noticed one of my books was missing; in fact, I believe it's this one here," he reached out his hand to grab it, but stopped when he saw movement at the head of the table. In his haste, he had almost forgotten the most important factor of his whole plan...

The Dark Lord. He can't find out! He'd kill me...and maybe father as well... For not keeping me under control...or something. I... Idiot! Get the book, make your excuses, and get out of here!

"Master Draco," the tall wizard said, rolling the 'r' in Draco's name so that it sounded almost like a purr. "Surely you are not so unwell that you can't spare time for a drink or two?" it was posed as a question, but he was obviously supposed to agree. Sadly, Draco's brain could no longer take the stress of all that was going on, and promptly shut down, leaving him to stutter,

"But I don't drin-"

"Oh, nonsense, darling. I suppose we can make an exception just this once," Narcissa trilled, and another of the many dozens of house-elves in the room hurried over, a tray of glasses of red wine clattering up and down as it bobbed over. His mother reached down, taking care to show off her still-graceful movements to all of the young men assembled, and picked up one of the glasses. This, she handed to Draco, who looked at the red liquid inside with a vague horror.

Just like blood...the same colour... Just like the memory...so much blood...pain...father...

When Draco next became aware of his surroundings, he found that he was sitting in a seat next to his mother, and he was holding an empty wineglass. Another empty glass lay before him, with only a few droplets of the heady red liquid clinging to the rim. He set down his second glass, and tried to pay attention to what was going on around him...but it just doesn't...make any...sense... He felt himself slipping, and the previously hazy world blackened altogether.

And Draco Malfoy slipped from his seat and onto the cold, marble floor.

Drugged by his own mother.


Lucius leant against the wall in the shadows, staring blankly in the direction that Draco had hurried off in. Severus tried to pay attention to the talk below, but finding that it was now just mediocre conversation, he focused his attention on Lucius. My Lucius... At the fond smile on his lover's face though, he knew that the man was no longer his. He frowned, seeing a disturbing parallel between Lucius and Lance...

Slowly, he withdrew from the balcony, making sure that he didn't alert those below with too-quick movements. With these soft movements, he came to stand next to Lucius, still looking unseeingly at the wainscot of the hallway opposite. The potions-master reached out a hand, and waved it through the field of vision of the blond. He blinked, and looked up, that ridiculous smile still on his face. Most definitely not my Lucius anymore...

As always at times like these, the raven-haired man became withdrawn and cool. "I'd suggest going back to your rooms," he whispered, tone dull. "Otherwise his Lordship may find it highly irregular your not being there, if he decides to come up and see you." The Malfoy patriarch just blinked, not seeming to quite comprehend the instructions. Severus clenched the fist that still held his wand, and used his other hand to cup Lucius' cheek.

"Go to your room," he ordered, looking into the (for once) happy blue eyes of his one and only love interest. The blond finally seemed to realise the seriousness of the situation, and just nodded mutely.

Fearing that it might well be his last chance to do so, the potions-master leant down, and plied a desperate kiss on still-smiling lips. So many emotions in one day... How can it make sense? When he felt the cool fingertips of Lucius' hands fluttering over the skin at the nape of his neck, his breath caught in his throat, and he broke away. "Go," he hissed, looking away and back to the ballroom, which was still just about visible from where they stood. He had been planning to quickly make his exit now, but when he saw a certain student being dragged into the room by his lover's wife...

Oh bloody hell. Lucius too had noticed the entrance of the boy, and now his hands had locked together behind Severus' neck. "I can't," he answered, not even looking at Severus as he said it. "What's he doing?"

"I don't know," the potions-master answered, hesitantly reaching up and taking the Malfoy patriarch's fingers from his neck. "You should really go," he urged, attempting to start shoving the other down the hall. He wouldn't budge, and Severus frowned at Lucius. "Please, go!"

"No," the blond replied stubbornly, before moving stealthily forwards in order to get a better view of the ballroom. Severus followed, unwilling to leave the other alone in such a dangerous position...plus, he did have to admit, he was intrigued as to what Draco was doing as well...


Narcissa let out a small gasp as Draco collided with the floor. "Oh my!" She immediately vacated her chair, and crouched down next to her son. As she did so, a small glass bottle fell from her lap, and tinkled on the floor – she managed to grab it again quickly in the commotion of people moving to help her Draco. "Quickly; elf, smelling salts!" She held out her hand to accept one of the small bottles of vile smelling salts – soon enough, she felt the cool smooth surface of one such bottle, and she quickly pulled the stopper out.

Carefully, she lifted up Draco's head, and then held the bottle in her other hand, waving it beneath his nose. He spluttered, and opened his eyes, coughing heavily. She smiled a little, and then flashed a suggestive look at the young man across from her. "Do you think you could help bring him up to his room?" she asked, fluttering her lashes in an appealing manner. The young man immediately nodded, broadly grinning, and moving forwards with one of the others to pick her son up.

Perfect. Narcissa stood up, and grabbed the book from the table. "Do excuse us your lordship," she curtsied to the Dark Lord, bowing her head in genuine sorrow. "But my son seems to be more ill than we took for granted. We shall be back presently – follow me, if you will?" Quickly, the Malfoy matriarch marched towards the doors out of the ballroom, book firmly tucked beneath her arm. The young men carrying her son hurried after her, glad to be assisting the stunning woman.

That worked better than I thought, Narcissa sighed quietly as the doors into the ball room clicked shut behind them. That was close...stupid boy, she threw a look over her shoulder at Draco, who had fainted once more. When she turned back around, she allowed a dark frown to cross her face. Could have sullied our good name, she thought angrily. She had opened the book, and knew exactly what its contents were. Lucius'll hear of this, I'll make sure of that.

"Just up here – his rooms are on the third floor," she chirped over her shoulder. The two men carrying the unconscious Draco made sounds of assent, and then returned to a hushed conversation between the two of them. Just get rid of him for the night, and hopefully straighten him out for the next time his Lordship comes. This idea seemed to make perfect sense, and Narcissa smiled once more, her logic pleasing her greatly.

When they were passing the corridor that led to the gallery overlooking the ballroom, the Malfoy matriarch thought that she saw a flurry of movement. However, when she turned her slender neck to the side in order to look more directly at the corridor, there was nothing there. Perhaps I had a little much wine, she thought, as usual rationalising the things she could not otherwise explain.

Finally, after about five minutes or so, they came to the door to Draco's chambers. She wrapped her slender fingers around the door handle, and then pushed it down, laying her other hand on the cool wood in order to open the heavy door. The curtains were open, flooding the room with the last rays of light of the setting sun, and she tutted at the messy state that she found her son's room to be in. I must get the house-elves to clean up in here more often.

"Just put him down on the bed," she told the young men airily, waving her hand grandly at the four-poster. With surprisingly gentleness, they did as she had said, depositing the now slumbering Draco on the bed. He shifted onto his side, and she smiled fondly when a thumb crept to his mouth. Despite the annoyances of motherhood, she still held a few small scraps of affection for her son...after all, he had grown up rather well. A little gentleman.

It was just a shame about his wavering alliances. But Lucius will sort that out, she decided, determinedly clamping her arm against her side, so that she could feel the sharp corner of the book dig into her side. She'd take this to Lucius' rooms presently, and tell the two young men to go back to the ballroom.

The one she had smiled at loitered in the doorway – the other was already waiting outside, and she noted with fascination that he seemed to be smoking a muggle cigarette. Interesting... I suppose the book can wait for a little...while... She carefully dropped it onto the table beside Draco's bed, and after pausing to stroke a few strands of platinum hair from his forehead, exited the room.

The young men linked arms with her, one of them on either side. The one who was smoking (who was to her left) took the cigarette from his mouth, and passed it to the man on her right, who took a deep drag. He then took it from his smiling lips, and offered it to her. "Care for a little smoke?" he breathed sultrily into her ear. She just smiled, and gracefully accepted, inhaling deeply, and then blowing the entire inhalation out through her mouth. Just like the femme fatale mother trained me to be, she thought with a slight smirk as she handed the cigarette back to the man on the left.

This continued for another two rounds, before the cigarette had outlived its usefulness. By this time, Narcissa had managed to steer the little party towards her own quarters. "Would you care for a drink of port before we go back downstairs?" she asked, unlinking arms with the both of them, and then turning around to face the both of them. They didn't answer immediately, and she leant back against the door, posturing provocatively. That did it; the both of them looked at one another, and then nodded, eyes dark with un-bridled lust.

Lovely...


"Fucking hussy," Lucius growled just after Narcissa walked past, a new couple of conquests following her. Severus was surprised by this outburst, and looked at the blond with surprise evident on his face. The Malfoy noticed it, and looked back at him. "What? I'm just stating a well-known fact," he said darkly.

"You've got to credit her for her creativity though," Severus pointed out, referring to her trick with drugging Draco's drink. "She managed to get Draco out of there without anything being mentioned about him joining... And what was it about that book?"

"I don't know," Lucius answered truthfully. "But as for her, she only did that to get herself some company for the night," he spat bitterly, heavily falling against the wall. Severus quickly looked over the railing to the ballroom to check that this hadn't been heard. Luckily, yet again they had remained undetected, but luck wouldn't always be on their side.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he advised, this time reaching out and brushing Lucius' arm, trailing his fingers down the sleeve of his shirt, and finding his hand open and welcoming. With the embarrassment more thought of in a hormonal teenager, Severus locked his fingers with the other, and began to tug him down the corridor. Lucius willingly allowed himself to be pulled along, and looking at him, Severus saw to his dismay that that dreamy smile was on his face again. I've been replaced...

Almost as though he had heard his thoughts, Lucius' smile abruptly disappeared. He frowned, and reached his free hand up to his lips, touching them gently. Then, he shook his head, and smiled wanly at Severus. "I'm not pursuing it Sev," he said, knowing full well that they both knew to what he was referring. Sighing softly, Lucius sped up so that they were walking side-by-side. "However, I would like to check up on him...if that's all right?"

"Of course." What the hell does he expect me to say? 'No, I don't think so, because if you do, I just know you'll change your mind, and I'll be all alone again?' Hardly a win-win situation here Luc! Severus fumed silently, but allowed Lucius to steer the course towards Draco's chambers, knowing that it would cheer him up. And after today, I suppose he needs it... But if only I were the one to...cheer him up...not... He sighed again, and casually took a packet of self-lighting cigarettes from his deep robe pockets.

The motion of hand from packet to lips drew Lucius' attention. "Since when did you start smoking again?"

"Who said I ever stopped?" Severus answered, sticking the white and tan stick between his teeth, and then flicking the end so that it lit up with glowing orange embers. He inhaled, coughed, and then exhaled, trying to pay more attention to the smoke than his thoughts. But the novelty of the smoking wore off incredibly quickly, and he had to return to his thoughts.

And the knowledge that things were over.

Draco's chamber doors loomed before them, and Lucius unlinked arms, opening the door with little grace, and hurrying inside, turning to the right and out of Severus' sight as soon as he was inside. The potions-master followed at a more sedate pace, stopping at the door, and leaning upon it, watching as the Malfoy man knelt down next to the bed, and stroked trembling hands over the pale cheek of the slumbering youth that lay there.

The dying rays of the room made the whole room seem bathed in the light of fire. And a strange idea came to the mind of Severus Snape. A man, who usually prided himself on his sensibilities, tore down all such things in his analogy of the two men before him.

Angelic demons... Both beautiful, and both broken... He shook his head, to try and clear this idea, but was unable to.

And, when Draco opened his eyes, and blinked disorientedly up at Lucius, Severus was unable to ignore the truly happy smile on the older man's face. And so it ends. Quietly, he backed out of the room, and raising his wand above his head, he apparated from the manor, leaving behind only memories.

For that was what the manor was. A keeper of history – a bank of memories so ancient and deep that even one generation's experiences seemed more like a millennia of history than the life of one. It had always been such with the Malfoys. The oldest. The greatest.

The richest.

Purebloods – forever perfect.

And now beyond my reach.


Draco smiled when his eyes focused, and he was able to see who it was. However, the smile died when his father's one faded into a sad frown. "What is it?" he asked, reaching up a hand to touch his face. Lucius grabbed it, and laid it back on his blankets.

"This cannot...and will not...go any further."

"What? But-" he spluttered, shocked at yet another turn around in his father's mood.

"No buts. After what you've seen, can you truly believe this could happen? I can abstain, and you'll soon forget..." his voice was deadpan.

"What? What do you- no!" Draco's grey eyes widened as Lucius raised his wand, and he reached up his hand again, closing his sweaty palm around the older Malfoy's wrist. His father looked down at the obvious scars that the turned up sleeves of his son's shirt showed him.


"I'm sorry Draco," he didn't meet the boy's eye, and didn't protest when his son pressed lips forcefully against his own. He let the wand fall from his hands and onto the floor, tangling fingers in the too-long hair of the boy on the bed. Again, he met Draco's advances with equal fervour, savouring what little he was allowing himself.

However, when nimble fingers caught onto the buttons on his shirt, he reached down and grabbed them, placing them firmly on his shoulders. Draco again insistently moved his hands down to his chest, and Lucius felt his resolve weaken considerably. Again, he grabbed the wandering hands, and firmly held onto them, trying to prevent himself from becoming lost in this. You can't have him. You can't. Mustn't. Won't.

He'll forget anyway. Why not?

Because I fucking said so, Lucius replied to the voice, finally working up the strength to push Draco away. He shied from the hands that reached out to catch him again, and Draco's eyes filled with tears when he again pointed the wand at the boy.

"Please...don't..." he begged, and Lucius was only reminded of himself at that age. Only he was always on the other side, begging to be let alone... He shuddered, joining his son in broken sobs. "Don't – love you." Those grey eyes.

Those big, grey eyes. Pleading with him. Begging him.

Loving him.

"I'm sorry." Lucius caught one of his son's hands, squeezed it, and then levelled his wand for the third time. Draco closed his eyes, tears leaking down already wet cheeks. Lucius inhaled...exhaled...

"Obliviate."

And the whole day was undone. Draco fell limply upon his pillows, a small smile on his face as he snored gently. Lucius let go of his slender hand, and placed one, last, chaste kiss on those innocent lips. He stood up, and left the room, only pausing for a second at the door to take one last look at the boy.

The dull evening light, which was no longer red, but a beautifully soft lavender, made him look almost angelic lying there. Pure. Perfect.

And I'll not let anything ruin that before he's ready.


I'm not sure, but I get the feeling that this might make a good end for the whole thing. I'm sorry, but I just...I much prefer angst, and the idea of Draco and Lucius getting together disturbs even me slightly. Dreams are fine, but in real-life, I'm just...not comfortable... And writing beyond my comfort zone would make the story too stretched, and it would end up carry. So, I'd rather end it like this, than expose you to shitty bits of writing.

It's been a pleasure writing for you all, and it's been an especial pleasure receiving reviews that have shown me that my work is appreciated! Thank you so much! And, don't worry...no doubt I'll be back with some other piece of slash fiction one of these days. (I really fancy writing a proper Snape/Black one...my first attempts were crappy.)

With regards, canihavea-soda

Special thanks to: Quills 'N Ink (who I shall soon be co-writing with, hopefully!)

Chaos-chick3 (sorry that I ended it so abruptly pet!)

logicapapillon (I am definitely glad the black boxers amused you. Black boxers always scream 'hussy!' in my head, and well...black silk boxers are just...yeah... -she drools-)

Eerie (I hope you find the story to your liking when you have continued to read it!)

CrimsonTearsOfPain (Thanks for sticking with me from the beginning of this little horror!)

Gabo0 (I have adored every single one of your reviews, because you point out what you like, and just make me happy with the squeeingness! Hurrah!)

JeanettePeredhil (Thankyou for the time you helped me sort out my own fear of the rape chapter. It still wasn't perfect, but your input definitely helped me get over the worst of my phobia there. -Hug- thanks so much!)

Fairdeviln1 (I loved your reviews as well. And yes. I am a HUGE Snape fangirl. -Giggles childishly.- Ooh, clever men are just...like catnip to me!)

dirtydancer (I loved your little questions about the plot ideas, and I'm glad you asked them, because it gave me ideas for a few things later on in the story, so I was able to clarify things in the best way. -Glomp- Thank you!)

umi n secylia (I apologise again for my habit for cliff hangers. I hope I didn't leave this one hanging -pulls face-. I suppose there might be a possible continuation, but I'm not sure I have the will to write it...)

Nat (-Poke-. Mad crazy girlie!)

Sandy Girvan (The one who love my devious mind. -Preens- Woot! You made me blush with your praise, I don't think it was truly deserved, but I thank you for it anyway! I'm glad to have made you feel loved by mentioning you. Sometimes, I don't think authors really thank people as much as they should which is why I'm breaking the rules and thanking everyone now, heh...)

Sheyda (There from almost the beginning as well, you crazy thing! I apologise for those cliff-hangers. I just love them so...)

labpotter (Sometimes its the short and sweet reviews that stay with ya - and yours was definitely one of those ones. -Glomp- thankies!)

Draco Malfoy-Potter (Drama queens -sighs- isn't there just one in all of us?)

Thatswhatyouthink (Your review is probably the one that most surprised me, because its always good to know that people who aren't certain about a pairing actually find something in it to their liking. I'm glad I didn't end up putting you off the pairing for good!)

tea (I agree...even I was somewhat freaked out by Lance by the end. Because I based his image on a friend of my sister's. O.o Freaky indeed... Another person annoyed by my cliff hangers I see - I apologise profusely!)

J (Thanks for that review of yours - it definitely halped me pay off a few of my debts to the review monster. Greedy bastard that he is -glowers-. Thanks for the contribution to the fund pet!)

Kay Warren (Your review still makes me blush. Its a sad fact, but true. I still don't have all that much confidence in my sex scenes, but its nice to know that they aren't as unreadable as I feared O.o)

Intrigued (Lucius is VERY squicky. Mmmm...squicky...)

SNÝVELLY (Thanks for poking me to do more of the story.)

Dragon-Spit (My first reviewer, and even though you capitalized crap -grrs at the capitalized swearage- I can forgive you, because you were right, and I'm so glad that you urged me to carry on, rather than leaving this as a one chapter thing. Thank you. A lot!)

And to everyone else who read, but didn't leave a review (for whatever reason), thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. And I promise some more slash in the future.