Author's Note: This story will disturb Iruka lovers. It is set after the mission to the Nation of Waves, but before the chuunin exam, and takes liberties with the Sasuke/Itachi storyline. This story features shounen-ai and several unpleasant depictions of men taking advantage of boys.
The author kindly submits that anyone who considers imitating Iruka's or Itachi's actions should save everyone the trouble and shoot himself in the goddamn head.
//Denotes Flashbacks//
"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!"
Haruno Sakura groaned as the bright voice reached her ears over the noise of the crowd. She had a perfectly good Saturday planned, and now it seemed that it was going to be ruined almost before she got started. Naruto would almost certainly insinuate himself into everything she meant to do, clinging to her like a forest burr until she could forcibly rip him off and toss him aside.
His persistence, though, meant that it would be futile to run away, so Sakura took a deep breath, summoned up a reluctant smile, and turned to face the blonde genin. "Good morning, Naruto-kun," she said, as politely as she could manage.
"Good morning Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted, skidding to a halt in front of her. "How are you doing today? It is so nice of Kakashi-sensei to give us a day off, huh?"
"Yes," Sakura replied. "I'm going to go shopping for new clothes, then maybe shoes... all very girly things that you wouldn't have any interest in doing at all, of course..."
"Heh heh," Naruto said, scratching his blonde mop, "I am very sorry, Sakura-chan, but I can't accompany you today." Sakura tried to hide her sigh of relief as Naruto continued, "I am going to spend the day at Iruka-sensei's home."
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Are you still getting lessons from Iruka-sensei?" she asked, wondering how far behind in his studies Naruto could possibly be.
"Oh, no," Naruto said, shaking his head. "I'm not really supposed to talk about it, but... we're teammates, right? You can keep a secret, can't you?"
"Of course," Sakura replied, feeling strangely pleased to have earned Naruto's trust.
"Well," Naruto said, leaning closer and lowering his voice, "Iruka-sensei has taken the role of being my father!"
"He's adopted you?" Sakura asked, smiling. Naruto might be annoying, but she keenly remembered Sasuke's words on their first day as a team. Even the loud-mouthed blonde boy deserved some relief from loneliness.
"No, nothing so formal," Naruto answered, holding up his hands. "But he takes care of me sometimes, and plays the special father and son games with me."
"Oh?" Sakura asked, somewhat confused. "What special games?"
"It's not polite to talk about them, is it?" Naruto said, looking equally confused. "Iruka-sensei said I shouldn't talk about them because people would get upset..."
"I won't get upset, I promise," Sakura said, a dark suspicion beginning to take shape in the corner of her mind.
"Okay," Naruto said, nodding solemnly. "Iruka-sensei... he undresses me, and holds me, and kisses me, and... we play. It is like wrestling, but somewhat gentler. At first, it was uncomfortable, because I wasn't used to it, but now when we play it always feels wonderful. And Iruka-sensei is always very pleased with me!"
For a moment, Sakura simply stared at Naruto, the dark suspicion solidifying into a terrible certainty. Oh my God.
"Surely you play those sorts of games with your father?" Naruto said, confusion on his features again.
"Oh... no, no," Sakura said, trying to collect her thoughts, come up with some sort of plan... "Girls play different games with their fathers."
"Ah," Naruto said, his smile returning.
He has no idea, Sakura realized, feeling vaguely ill.
"Well, I don't want to be late," Naruto chirped. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow evening and treat you to some ramen!"
"Oh... sure... maybe..." Sakura mumbled, her mind still reeling from Naruto's unintentional revelations.
"Have a great day, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called, already trotting down the street.
"You... too..." Sakura murmured, her shock beginning to wear off. "Oh Naruto!" she called.
The blonde stopped, then sprinted back over to her, still grinning like a maniac. "Yes, Sakura-chan?"
"Is it all right if I tell this great news to Kakashi-sensei?" she asked. "As team leader, he should know of important developments in our lives."
Naruto considered this for a moment, then nodded. "You'll tell him for me?"
"Sure," Sakura said, plastering a completely unfelt smile onto her face. "I think I'll see him later today anyway."
"Thank you, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, then disappeared into the crowd again.
As soon as he was gone, Sakura turned and started running towards the training grounds, her plans for the day completely discarded. Kakashi-sensei would know what to do.
Kakashi blocked Sasuke's kick effortlessly, then smoothly dodged the boy's punch, countering with a precisely-placed tap that sent the Uchiha heir stumbling across the clearing. The silver-haired jounin relaxed back into a ready stance as Sasuke gathered his legs beneath him and jumped up into a tree, shuriken flying from him to cover his motions. Kakashi, even using just his normal eye, was not at all fooled; he swapped himself with a branch from the tree behind him, then slid into the shadows.
Sasuke had managed to hide himself pretty effectively in the shadow of a branch, and was surveying the area carefully, his sharingan activated. Kakashi grinned, forming several shadow clones, which closed on Sasuke's position. The boy saw through them, tossing a few shuriken to clear them away. Kakashi, however, swapped himself with one of his clones at the last minute, deflecting the shuriken back so it pinned Sasuke's shirt to the branch. The boy sacrificed the clothing of course, dropping from the tree with a ripping sound, but the delay was enough for Kakashi to reach Sasuke and kick him back into the clearing.
Sasuke tumbled for a moment, then flipped forward; a move unexpected enough that Kakashi was only able to land an ineffective fist in his ribs. Then he grabbed Sasuke's shirt and whispered, "Be still. Someone's coming."
Sasuke subsided immediately, and the jounin listened carefully, wondering if he had just imagined. It was only a moment later that all doubt was removed as he heard Sakura crashing through the brush and shouting "Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!" at the top of her lungs. The jounin released his grip on Sasuke and let the boy stand up as the pink-haired girl stumbled breathlessly into the clearing. "Kakashi-sensei!" she shouted again. "Thank God I found you!"
"What is it, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asked, already deeply concerned. Sakura was a smart girl—if she was this worked up, there was a good chance there was a major problem somewhere.
"Naruto-kun... he..." she came to a stop in front of Kakashi, and doubled over, breathing heavily. "Something awful... Iruka-sensei..."
"Take a few deep breaths," Kakashi ordered, ignoring Sasuke's snort of contempt. "Start from the beginning."
"I ran into Naruto-kun in town earlier," Sakura wheezed. "He told me... such things. I think... I think Iruka-sensei has been molesting him!"
Kakashi's eyes widened. "Sakura, this is not an accusation to be made lightly," he said, "Umino-san is a highly respected teacher, and Naruto-kun is not the sort to let someone rape him."
"Sensei, he doesn't understand!" Sakura cried, desperation clear on her face. "He thinks that it is all normal family activities! He thinks Iruka-sensei is acting as his father!"
Kakashi's surprise quickly turned to anger. Of course. It made so much sense when one considered it carefully. Naruto was so vulnerable, and so clearly attached to Iruka... it would be easy for the other teacher to take advantage of him, and his almost nonexistent knowledge of normal family behavior. "Where is Naruto?" the jounin asked.
"He was going to Iruka-sensei's house," Sakura said, "I didn't know how to stop him..."
Kakashi took a close look at the girl and saw that she was on the verge of tears. "You made the right choice coming to get me," he told her, then turned to Sasuke. He was mildly surprised at the incredible rage he saw simmering in the boy's sharingan eyes. "I am sorry, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said, "but I must cut our practice short. Perhaps another time."
"Understood," Sasuke said, his voice a harsh near-growl.
Without another word, Kakashi took off towards Konoha village as fast as he could move. There was no time to spare—every moment Naruto spent with Iruka would only deepen the wound when the boy found out how he'd been used.
Behind him, he heard a rush of wind as Sasuke moved to follow, and then footsteps as Sakura gathered herself and began running again too.
Without warning, the door exploded into the room, sending splinters flying in all directions. With reflexes he had been honing since the mission to the Nation of Waves, Naruto flung himself over the back of the soft couch he'd been sharing with Iruka-sensei. His hand automatically went to his thigh for a kunai, but he realized too late that his pants were on the floor in front of the sofa. Steeling himself for hand-to-hand combat, Naruto raised his head over the top of the couch to assess the situation. No matter that he was naked and unarmed, Naruto was going to defend Iruka-sensei against this intruder, whoever it was.
He froze, however, when he saw who had entered Iruka's apartment, and instead of attacking, he shouted, "Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing?"
The silver-haired jounin glanced at him for a long moment, then ordered, "Naruto-kun, stay where you are." Then he turned his attention to Iruka, who was just pulling his boxers back on. "How could you?" Kakashi asked, his voice calm and cold as an ice lake, "He is a child."
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, now desperately confused. Of course he was a child! Wasn't that exactly why Iruka-sensei was doing these things with him?
Iruka, however, merely hung his head, saying nothing.
"Why don't you explain, Iruka-sensei? You were just trying to be a father to me, right?" Naruto asked.
Iruka turned away from him, pain evident on his face.
"What the hell is going on?" Naruto demanded.
Kakashi took a deep breath and turned back to the boy, deep sorrow apparent in his one visible eye. "Umino has been lying to you, Naruto-kun," the jounin said. "The things he does with you... they are not family activities."
"That can't be!" Naruto shouted. "Iruka-sensei cares about me! He wouldn't lie like that! All boys do these things with their fathers, that's what he said! Tell him, Iruka-sensei!"
Iruka remained silent.
"I am sorry, Naruto-kun, but those things he told you were lies," Kakashi said, picking Naruto's orange pants up from the floor and placing them on the couch where the boy could reach them. The jounin walked back to the center of the room as Naruto pulled them on, barely noticing the absence of his underwear. Having some clothes on didn't make Naruto feel any more comfortable, though, or any less confused. "Do you understand, Naruto," Kakashi asked, "that the things he did to you were sexual?"
"That's ridiculous!" Naruto said. "Guys can't have sex with each other! If there's no woman involved, it's just playing!" But the words sounded less reasonable when Iruka-sensei wasn't the one saying them, when Iruka-sensei's hand wasn't softly stroking his bare back... "It's just a game..." Naruto protested, feeling a strange tightness grow in his chest.
Kakashi shook his head, and Naruto could see tears in his visible eye. "I am so sorry, Naruto-kun," he said softly, "Umino betrayed your trust."
"No..." Naruto whispered, feeling like someone had just taken all his insides out. He sank down to the floor. Betrayed... he thought, Iruka-sensei... I believed in your affection for me... why...
Dimly, Naruto heard Kakashi say, "You know the law, Umino. Get dressed and come with me. You are not talented enough to survive as an escapee."
"I know the law," Iruka replied, his voice barely audible, but for Naruto he might as well have spoken with a voice of thunder. The words shattered the last of Naruto's denial, the last of his trust, the last of his pride. He had been used; he had been stupid, and gullible, and he had liked the things Iruka did, and now, in the unbearable clarity, an entire world of smutty scribbles on bathroom stalls and half-understood jokes the other boys muttered to their friends crystallized into meaning, and Naruto realized they had all been about guys like him.
The room spun around Naruto's head and his breakfast boiled up out of him. He spat the last of it onto the cold linoleum floor and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sensed more than saw a large form behind him, reaching for him, and he instinctively ducked away, his stomach twisting with nausea as a hand—Iruka's? Kakashi's?—brushed his bare shoulder. The part of his mind that was still making coherent thoughts, the dark part that whispered to him in the night of the hatred people felt for him and the hatred he should feel towards them, whispered, Flee. Do not trust them.
For once, Naruto agreed. As the large form reached for him again, Naruto lunged away, rebounding off a wall and snagging his jacket from where it lay next to the door, where Iruka had taken it from him and begun kissing his bare chest... A new upwelling of nausea caused Naruto to stumble as he stumbled out the door, and then time seemed to stop as he saw who was standing there, probably had been standing there the whole time.
Sakura.
Sasuke.
FLEE! The thought thundered through Naruto's mind, and the frozen moment shattered as Naruto corkscrewed around, launching himself down the hall away from his teammates, and hurling himself through the window, automatically using his jacket as a bulwark against the shards of glass. He barely felt the jarring sensation as he landed hard on a neighboring roof, did not at all notice the rocks and tiles digging into his bare feet or Sakura's panicked scream behind him. All he knew, all he cared about, was the wind—rushing over his skin, whistling past his ears—as he ran and jumped and clawed his way across Konoha's rooftops, gaining speed each moment, heeding only the voice that whispered in his mind, Flee.
"Naruto has disappeared," Kakashi announced as he entered the Hokage's office. "Asuma's team has been watching his apartment, but they've seen no sign of him."
"What were they told?" the Hokage asked, not looking up from his calligraphy.
"Only that Naruto had disappeared unexpectedly. Asuma saw me bringing that man here, though... he may have guessed at more."
"I will speak to him myself later to clear up any... misunderstandings," the Hokage said. "In the meantime, his team should be told to go home."
"Is that wise?" the silver-haired jounin asked. "Naruto might..."
"Naruto will not return home yet... perhaps not ever," the Sandaime said.
Kakashi felt like he'd been sucker-punched in the stomach. "Surely you don't think he'd take his life!"
"It is possible," the Hokage said, "and it might even be a blessing. Naruto-kun is strong, but in many ways he is quite vulnerable. For others to know of this will make him even more insecure. I mean to suppress this, but in time... rumors will develop. Naruto will no longer be immune to them... a great hardship lies ahead of him."
"And what will we do with Umino?"
"The law is quite clear," the Sandaime said. "Umino-kun has been caught fornicating with a child, and will be put to death by sundown tomorrow."
"Will the villagers be notified?"
"No," the Hokage said. "Mizuki's betrayal—which we could not hide if we were to explain the commotion surrounding the genin graduation—has already shaken their faith in the school. An accusation of this kind would destroy the school completely, and with it the unity of our village. Therefore, Umino-kun's behavior shall remain secret, and those who ask will be told that we discovered he was a conspirator of Mizuki's and expelled him from the village."
"He may have..."
"There were no others. He swore to it even under extreme duress."
"Little consolation for Naruto-kun."
The Hokage sighed and put down his calligraphy brush. "It has all gone wrong, Hatake-san," he said. "Because the Yondaime's hopes did not come to pass, Naruto had no friends, no loved ones. This made him vulnerable to Umino's manipulations, and now all may be lost. Perhaps Naruto will not kill himself, but if he embraces the demon in his anger, or flees into our wide, dangerous world in his despair, the power of the Kyuubi will undoubtedly be turned against us once more. Many powerful ninja have gone 'missing' in the past decades, and they will not allow such an opportunity to pass."
"To say nothing of the consequences for my student," Kakashi said, feeling vaguely upset that the Hokage seemed more concerned about the threat the blonde posed than the boy himself.
"In my position," the Hokage said sharply, "I cannot take the time to consider one boy's emotions." As Kakashi stiffened from the rebuke of a thought he had not fully expressed, the old man sighed and seemed to sag in his chair. "Besides, if the Kyuubi is released, Naruto will be dead regardless of his feelings, or the circumstances."
"Then we must bring him back," Kakashi said.
"And there's the rub," the Hokage said. "For it is unlikely that anyone who does not understand what has happened to him could convince him to return, and yet, the more people we tell about this, the harder it will be for him to come back. Even then, only a good friend could persuade him..."
"To my knowledge, only Sakura and Sasuke could be considered his friends, and then only a little."
"Then they must be the ones to go. You and your team must convince Naruto to return to the village, Kakashi."
"He won't be trusting adults for a while," Kakashi noted, thinking of the terrible fear he'd seen on Naruto's face in the instant before he'd fled.
"I know," the Hokage said. "Thus, his teammates must be the ones to bring him back in."
"And if they fail?"
"We cannot allow the Kyuubi any chance to escape its prison," the Hokage said, picking his brush up again. "If your students fail to convince Naruto-kun to return, you must kill him according to the rituals for slaying possessed individuals. You know them?"
"Yes, Sandaime-sama."
"Then go, and pray that Sasuke or Sakura can return Naruto to Konoha."
There was blood on the tree trunk—just a smudge, two feet up from the ground. Its elongated shape suggested that it came from a foot, rather than a hand, and the faint glistening of its surface showed that it was fresh. Sasuke nodded solemnly at the sight, and continued through the forest, senses primed for any sound or sight that might reveal Naruto's whereabouts.
//"Hey little brother, do you want to play a special game with me?" Itachi asked, smiling brightly.//
Sasuke froze, the intensity of the memory momentarily breaking his concentration. It had been so long since he'd thought about that; Itachi's second betrayal had always been the one to dominate his days and nights, driving the first one out of his mind. Only when something touched a memory off—a large hand on his shoulder, the smell of sake, the feel of silk against his shoulders—would the whole sordid affair that preceded the unthinkable slaughter enter his mind. And what had just happened to Naruto was certainly stimulus enough.
Sasuke shook his head, hoping to banish the memories. He had no time for this now; there was blood on the tree, three feet lower than the last mark he'd seen. Naruto was descending, tiring, and that meant he was nearby. Sasuke had to focus on the task, or he would lose his teammate. Sakura had been to distraught to notice the look on Kakashi's face as he announced their mission, but Sasuke had understood what it meant almost instantly. "You must retrieve Naruto-kun," Kakashi had said, and his visible eye had clearly added, "...or he will be killed."
Sasuke wasn't entirely certain why Naruto would need killing; a full pursuit by hunter-nins was usually reserved for higher ninjas—chuunin and jounin. Genin usually did not know enough of a village's secret techniques to warrant assassination, unless they belonged to an advanced bloodline, which Naruto certainly did not. Then again, a rogue nin or another village might be able to torture him into giving up the secret of the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, something even Sasuke's sharingan had not yet let him copy.
Sasuke shook his head once more; he was letting his mind get sidetracked. There was blood on the tree. That was the important thing. Naruto was somewhere just up ahead, and it would fall to Sasuke to bring him back to Konoha. Moving silently so as not to spook his teammate, Sasuke wove his way through the trees, following the blood towards the sound of a small stream.
The trees abruptly ended about a yard from the brook, leaving a broad, grassy bank. There was a bloody footprint in the grass—an unnecessary hint, for Naruto was sitting on a rock inches away, dangling his feet in the cold water. He'd pulled his jacket on, but hadn't zipped it up, leaving his chest open and visible. Sasuke thought he saw some faint symbol on the other boy's belly, but it might have been a trick of the shadows.
Before Sasuke could move or say anything, Naruto turned flat, blue eyes towards him. Sasuke froze, remembering how feral—and red—those same eyes had looked just hours ago. "I suppose everyone in Konoha is having a good laugh about this," the blonde said, a hard, hollow note in his voice. "Stupid Naruto," he continued, his face showing no expression at all, "He gave up his ass for a bit of affection... stupid Naruto... he should have known that nobody could love him... stupid Naruto... I wish he was dead."
"Nobody knows," Sasuke said quietly. "The whole matter is to be kept secret."
Naruto merely turned around again and kicked lazily at the water.
"I've been sent to bring you back to town," Sasuke explained.
"And if I don't go?"
"You'll be killed, I think."
Naruto nodded sagely, and muttered, "I expected as much." He was silent for a few moments, then said, "Hey, Sasuke, could you lend me a kunai? I lost all mine somewhere on the way here."
"What do you need a kunai for, dunce?" Sasuke asked, then barely suppressed a wince as he realized that insulting Naruto at a time like this was not going to make bringing him back any easier.
"I'm not going back," Naruto said, "so I figure I should save everyone some trouble." He laughed, a dead, papery sound completely unlike his usual giggle. "That's a first, isn't it? Uzumaki Naruto being considerate of his fellow ninjas?"
"Don't be stupid," Sasuke drawled. "You won't be making anyone's life easier by dying now."
"Really? And who would miss me? Far as I know, there's not a single person in Konoha who'd give a damn. Might even be a relief for most of them."
Sasuke snorted, saying, "And what about your own dreams? You won't be much of a Hokage if you just kill yourself when something bad happens."
"Won't be much of a Hokage anyway, seeing as I'm a faggot whore," Naruto replied, stumbling over the last few words as if he'd never said them before.
//"In the old days, when a warlord took an enemy castle, he'd kill all the warriors and spare the harem," Itachi said as his father's blood dripped off his sword, "because the women were weak and not worth killing. You're like that, Sasuke-chan, like a concubine..."//
"Stop it!" Sasuke shouted, "Just shut up!" He felt tears rising in his eyes and furiously brushed them away. "Do you think you're the only one, damn it?! Do you think that nobody else walks around in pain, in self-hatred?!"
"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, and there was just the tiniest note of the normal Naruto in that voice, just the tiniest sparkle of... something... in the blue eyes the blonde had turned on the larger boy.
"Just... just stop," Sasuke said, mastering himself once more. "Come home."
Naruto slumped. "All right," he whispered.
The little clearing was silent for a few moments, and then Sasuke remembered what he was carrying in his hip pack. He reached into it and pulled the blue footwear out, saying, "I brought your sandals."
Naruto nodded, but didn't move. Sasuke snorted and crossed the clearing, pulling Naruto's raw, red feet out of the stream and slipping the sandals onto them. "Can you walk?" he asked.
Naruto shrugged, and Sasuke suppressed the urge to roll his eyes or punch Naruto in the face. "Fine," he muttered, "I'll help you, dunce." He reached down to wrap an arm around the other boy, but paused for a moment when he saw the bare chest again. Then he knelt and zipped up Naruto's ugly orange jacket.
"Thanks," Naruto said, then stood up, wincing.
Sasuke caught the blonde before he could fall. "Don't push yourself, dunce," he muttered, sliding an arm around Naruto's shoulders to support the other boy.
"Why?" Naruto whispered as they started to make their way across the clearing, back towards Konoha.
"Why what?"
"Why did you come for me?" Naruto asked quietly.
Because we are the same, Sasuke thought.
"Because those senbon hurt," Sasuke said, "I wouldn't want to have gone through all that trouble for nothing."
The kitchen floor was cold, but Naruto didn't feel like he could move. If he moved, he would have to uses his senses, and sensing meant...
Sensing meant that he would see the stains on the kitchen table where he had spilled some of the ramen Iruka-sensei cooked him as a gift for successfully completing the mission to Wave Country.
Sensing meant that he would smell the aftershave Iruka-sensei had left in his bathroom that night he stayed over.
Sensing meant that he would feel the soft flannel sheets Iruka-sensei had given him for the winter.
Sensing meant that he would hear the ticking of the little neko-clock with the shifting eyes Iruka-sensei had given him as a gift.
Sensing meant that he would taste the bitter remains of what he had sucked from Iruka-sensei's cock that morning, and the sour remains of what he had coughed up not ten minutes later.
Grief and nausea washed over him, and Naruto screwed up his face to hold back the tears. Not gonna cry! he thought fiercely, What would Inari think of me if he saw me crying?
He'd be disgusted by you, the dark part of Naruto's mind hissed, just like everyone else.
//"Hey, Naruto..." Sasuke said as they came to the blonde's apartment door.
"Yeah?"
"If... if you need to... you can come by my place. To... talk. You know the address?"//
"Sasuke's not disgusted," Naruto whispered fiercely.
His offer came from pity, nothing more.
Pity's more than I've ever gotten from anyone else, Naruto thought, and without wasting another moment he bolted out of the room.
//"But big brother, it hurt last time!"
"You won't be much of a ninja if you can't stand a little pain," Itachi said. "Besides," he added with a smile, "it felt good at the end, didn't it? I'm sure now that you're used to it, it won't hurt at all. You are my strong little brother, aren't you?"
Sasuke felt his chest swell from his brother's indirect compliment. "I am!" he said, "I'll do it!"
"I knew you would," Itachi replied, licking his lips.
//Sasuke sat up in bed with a grunt of annoyance and tossed the covers off. Two hours in bed had brought him only resurfacing memories and renewed shame. At this rate, he wasn't going to get any sleep at all. Of course, he'd survived a more than a few sleepless nights before, but it had usually been in the name of training. It had been years since memories or nightmares had been to blame.
Sasuke's reverie was interrupted by a faint knock on his apartment door. At this time of night such an intrusion should have been infuriatingly rude, but Sasuke almost felt relieved to have an excuse not to try sleeping again. He picked his way through his apartment, avoiding the creakiest of the floorboards almost instinctively, and opened the door to see Naruto slumped in the entryway.
"Hey," Naruto said, as if they were meeting on the bridge to wait for Kakashi. His sandals glistened slightly in the light of the streetlamps, and Sasuke instinctively knew it was blood. He wondered how the blonde had managed to get across town after losing so much. "Can I come in?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke snorted, pulled the blonde into the room, and shut the door. "Wait here," he said, stepping into the kitchen to retrieve his medical supplies from a cabinet. He set them down at Naruto's side, unspooling some bandages and gauze. "This will sting," he warned as he doused the gauze in peroxide and began to swab off the blonde's feet.
Naruto hissed, at the first contact of the peroxide, but otherwise remained still as Sasuke tended to him. He grunted just slightly when the taller boy pulled the bandages tight and tied them off, then sighed. "Hey Sasuke," he said, "Your place is a real dump." Then he blanched and dropped his head into his hands. "Shit, I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm just so fucked up... don't listen to me..."
"Why not?" Sasuke said casually, returning the unused bandages to the box, "It's true." He flicked a peeling section of paint, the blue layer shearing away completely to reveal a mustard yellow beneath. "I don't care about this place... if it falls apart, I'll just move."
"I just thought... never mind. It doesn't matter," Naruto said, not looking up, "Look, can I..." The blonde trailed off, and the boys sat in silence for almost a minute before he continued in a brighter voice, "Well, I guess I should leave, huh? Thanks for the bandages." He put his hands on the floor and tried to push himself up, but Sasuke reached forward and just as firmly pushed him back down.
"You should stay off your feet for a few days," Sasuke said calmly. "And I'm not carrying you back to your apartment at this hour."
Naruto exhaled and relaxed under Sasuke's hand. "Thanks," he whispered, "I... couldn't stay there. I tried but..."
"You don't have to explain," Sasuke said. Please don't explain, please don't remind me...
"It's just... there's him, everywhere," Naruto continued, still oblivious to other peoples' almost constant desire for him to shut up. "I don't have all that much stuff... and half of it came from him, it seems, and the other half, he touched it, or was just there, and... fuck." The blonde rolled over, sliding down the wall, and curled into a fetal ball on the cracked hardwood floor, hugging his knees tightly. "I want him back," he whispered. "He lied to me and he used me and he fucked me and I want him back! I want him to hold me and lie to me because at least it felt real... and nobody... and nobody..." He trailed off into inarticulate noises and choked sobs.
//"All boys do these things with their fathers, that's what he said!"//
//"All boys do these things with their brothers, Sasuke-chan. They just don't speak about it."//
"I know," Sasuke said, laying a hand on Naruto's shaking shoulder. He slumped in place and lowered his head, whispering, "I know how you feel."
"No..." Naruto whispered, and Sasuke couldn't tell if it was a simple denial or a gasp of horror.
Knowing he would stop if he didn't press forward, Sasuke continued, "My brother... the man I intend to kill... he did the same things to me. He told me that all families did it, and I trusted him, and then one day my mother realized what was happening, and... he killed her. He killed everyone in my family, and left me... he called me a harem girl, not worth killing, and just walked away..."
"Sasuke..."
"...and I wanted him to take me with him. If he had asked, I would have gone... walked after him with mother's blood on my shirt and father's guts on my pants, and given myself up to him, but after all that, after all the killing... he didn't want me. I was just an excuse, a reason for him to test his strength against the rest of the family." Sasuke took a deep breath, then sighed. "So I know," he concluded, "I know."
Silent minutes ticked away in the night air as the two boys sat just inside Sasuke's door.
"We're both pretty fucked up," Naruto said, and there was just a hint of a dry laugh in his voice.
"Yeah," Sasuke agreed. Without another word, he slid one arm around Naruto's shoulders and another under his knees, then lifted him up and carried him through the dilapidated main room and into the spartan bedroom. "We'll have to share the bed," Sasuke said, setting Naruto on that piece of furniture, "I don't have a couch or anything."
"All right."
"You can sleep in your boxers, since you didn't bring anything."
"I... I'm not wearing... they're still..."
"Borrow some of mine," Sasuke interjected, before that wound started opening again. He dug through his hideously disorganized dresser and pulled out a pair he'd almost outgrown, tossing them wordlessly to the blonde.
Naruto yanked off his jacket and then his pants without difficulty, then curled up in a ball and kicked his legs into the boxers in one fluid move. Then, surprisingly, he hung the jacket on the bedpost and folded the pants, tossing them neatly onto the top of the dresser.
Are my floors that disgusting? Sasuke wondered, but said nothing. Instead, he clambered into the narrow bed, settling himself down as best he could without touching Naruto—he didn't know how well the blonde would take full-body contact.
After the stress of his confession, Sasuke felt strangely exhausted, and started to drift almost immediately. He was snapped back to reality, though when Naruto said, "Sasuke?"
"Yeah?"
"If you want, I'll help you kill your brother."
And before Sasuke could really think about it, he replied, "Only if I can help you become Hokage."
"All right."
Then Sasuke closed his eyes, and both boys slept, sharing bitter dreams.