Taisetsu na yasashii hito wa kimi dake ga inai...

Nee waratteyo mou nakanaide koko kara zutto anata wo mite iru wa...

The golden morning sun softly lit the back of the assassin's eyelids, gently warming them, and coaxing him from his sleep. Aya got up and sat on the edge of his mattress. He turned to stare at his bed. His pillow was warm, but the hand that touched it was cold. There was no one there. Again the realization stuck in Aya's chest and twisted his heart into pained submission. He's not here; and he'll never be here again.

Aya got up to check the lock on his door, securely bolted against any and everything the world could throw at him. He had told Ken he wasn't feeling well (the biggest understatement the universe has ever known) and watched them leave for work out his window. Especially Omi, whose laughter penetrated the glass between the two of them and rang in Aya's ears. He couldn't work today. The flowers...the flowers held his shining memories encased in their tiny drops of water, drawing their soft beauty from them. From him.

There was nowhere to turn but into himself, and he was lost in his mind. Goodbye...I never wanted to say goodbye. Everything was wrong; the world was reduced to splinters of broken glass. He couldn't put them back together; his vain efforts lacerated his fingers to bloody ribbons. And Omi's face was reflected in every shard.

Aya looked away from the window. Anything, anything to take his mind away from here. There was nothing on the wall to distract him, and the ceiling had been stared at so many times he'd memorized its subtle shadows. But there, on the small table on the far side of the room, stood a flowerpot. Aya flinched at the sight of the freesias and forget-me-nots before he reached out to touch them with a trembling finger.

His knees buckled, and Aya fell to the floor, not registering where he was or what he was doing anymore. All he could do was writhe slowly, whispering Omi's name over and over. No escape from this wrenching pain, this gaping void in his chest. It wouldn't let him go. He opened his mouth in a silent cry. Omi...

This had become his daily torment, beginning each day with the broken memory of sacred, impossible love. It ended quickly, but every time left Aya fighting to breath, his chest aching as he struggled to regain the sanity that was slowly slipping through his fingers like blood. Slowly becoming a pale shade of what he was.

Aya sat up on the floor, leaning heavily against the wall, looking around his room. He clung to a simple thought: If Omi loved him, as he said he did, maybe he'd regret his words, and come back. This tiny flame gave hope to the assassin, who'd never before loved anyone. And now that he had, and it was taken away by the very one he loved...Aya stopped the thought before he could complete it. His heart clung to this one thread of light...

He went to work late, somehow finding the strength to appear, but it seemed the guys were getting along fine without him, excepting the fact that more girls were there whenever he wasn't around to send them away. This he did immediately, cutting the population of the store in half. Still, it was busy despite his efforts. The day just might go well.

Omi was in such a joyous mood. His laughter brightened the shop, and secretly lifted Aya's heart. So much, in fact, that a smile twisted the corner of his mouth, just for his dearly loved Omi to see. The boy saw the redhead watching him, and stopped smiling. Aya felt a rock tumble into his gut. Omi turned away. Aya wanted to run over and hug him tight, ask what was wrong, what he had done. But he too turned away to calmly wrap a bouquet. His smile died unheralded, save by the silent screams of his heart, as it was hidden away behind the mask of Aya Fujimiya the assassin. The tiny flicker of hope in Aya's spirit wavered, thinned...

The sun was beginning to set, sending its rays directly into the window. Omi walked past Aya with roses in his hands. His hair suddenly erupted into shining brilliance as the light anointed him, and the glorious angel standing before Aya stopped a moment to look into the sun with a smile, ignorant of the gaze of the awestruck man. Aya almost imagined golden white wings, spun of light stolen from those rays, softly gracing Omi's back. Those eyes, so clear and bright, shining in the sunlight. He was so beautiful it hurt. Aya couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but stare. Omi was so happy, and it was because the redhead wasn't there.

Aya left quickly; He couldn't stand it. In his heart he was reaching out toward his Omi, longing just to hold him in his arms. To hear him say "I love you" just one more time. He went into his room again and shut the door. Outside, the sky was a brilliant blue. But nothing compared to those sapphire eyes. Aya closed his own amethyst ones against the light, to see Omi smiling away into the distance. He took a step toward the boy, and another, but he could never get any closer. His outstretched hands hit the wall, and he leaned his forehead against it...

He heard the door open and close when the others came back, but he couldn't make out their conversation. It was just as well, they were probably talking about him. Laughter...joy...it seemed to follow Omi everywhere. Now that he'd gone...could Aya ever be happy again? Footsteps came closer, but he didn't move.

Someone tried to open his door, but found it locked. Aya wasn't about to walk over and undo it, not even for the persistent knocking that began. Mild scuffling took place behind the door, as if the someone was trying to wrestle it free. Finally it all ended.

"Hey, Aya. Aaayaaa...you still breathing in there?" Ken's voice drifted trough the door, grating on Aya's last, tired nerve. He got up, silently unlocked the door, and jerked it open. The soccer player fell down in the doorway, and Aya slammed the door shut again, effectively smashing Ken's head into his neck and shoulders as it pushed him into the hallway.

"Dammit! What was that for!?" Ken yelled through the again locked door. Aya heard Ken's stomping retreat and sat on the bed. He just wanted to be alone. That was all. But as he looked around the empty room, the silence becoming oppressive, he had to leave the wretched, dismal safety of his solitude.

The lights were all dark when he finally left his self inflicted prison. It seemed everyone had gone to bed. The quiet house immediately became an extension of his captivity. Aya stopped in the hall, ragged breaths tearing his throat. The emptiness was threatening to swallow him whole...

He suddenly found himself in Omi's room. The boy had fallen asleep on his desk. The computer was still casting its steady glow over the room. Aya reached down to turn it off, until he caught his name in the document still open on the screen. Breathless, he read the paragraph he'd seen his name in.

Another day without a mission. Day ran smoothly. Aya was late again; Yoji took an early lunch. Sometimes it seems he's in this job more for the girls than our actual job. Oh well. There weren't so many orders to fill today. We might have to work a little earlier or later if we're going to make ends meet this month. I'll talk to the rest of the guys about it later. There also weren't any...

So that was it. Omi truly had left it all behind. He really did regret everything they had together. Aya choked back his despair. Questions arose once more in his mind. What had he done, that he had hurt his beloved so much? Why did he say goodbye? He closed the document and shut off the computer.

The light went out suddenly, leaving the image of Omi asleep on his desk burned on the back of Aya's eyelids. He gently lifted the boy into his arms, and placed him on the bed. He smoothed the hair away from the angel's face, and touched his closed eyes. Just once more...

Aya placed his lips on the warmth of Omi's mouth. He knew he would get no response, but somehow it still hurt. He caressed the boy's face with a hand, remembering. Omi turned in his sleep, farther away. Aya lay down beside his sleeping love, lost in the darkness, lost from the world. No voice could have reached him where he was, save Omi's, but he was gone.

He placed his arms around the sleeping form. The smell of Omi's hair, the warmth of his skin...Aya's fingers began to stray, just as they had once before. Slowly, softly gliding over the skin of the boy's torso. He couldn't stop, didn't want to...

Omi made a noise and moved away. A knife wouldn't have hurt as much as the pain that erupted in Aya's chest did. Almost desperately, he took Omi's hands in his, and kissed his lips once again. He wanted his love to wake up, but at the same time was afraid of it. What he was doing...it didn't make any sense anymore, nothing did.

He found Omi's lips parted, and he kissed him with all the tenderness and love his soul could ever feel. But the boy was asleep, and it forced Aya to recognize in his broken heart that this shattered love could never be repaired, and this was wrong. He let Omi go, tears running down his face, and got up. He shut the door to Omi's room and stumbled blindly back to his own.

The moonlight illuminated Aya's tear streaked face as he looked out of his window. There would be no peaceful rest for him tonight. Every part of him ached and burned. He was ashamed of what he'd just done. He loved the boy in the other room, more than he could ever express, but, damn it, that was not a way to try.

Aya's mind was falling in a slow, sick splintering of black glass, blood, and silk. Love tore apart every fiber of his soul. Omi...I love you...I hurt you...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...He opened the window. The light wind lifted the curtains, which swirled around him. Aya stood, staring at the sky, grief overcoming and darkening everything...

He had to go to work the next day, but he chose to stay in the back, away from everyone else. Restocking things in the back was an excuse to stay away from...from reminders. No one else really needed to come back there so he was all alone.

"Hey Aya, could you grab another one of those hoses?" Yoji stood in the doorway, looking sideways at his coworker. Aya turned around to get it from the hook on the wall, and handed it to the blond man, who took it with a worried glance.

"Are you alright? You're even icier than usual." Yoji said, truly concerned. Aya didn't say anything, but turned away to stack some unshelved boxes. The playboy shrugged and left, knowing the redhead was always like this, and would never tell anything he didn't want to.

A little while later Ken and Omi came in the back, carrying one of the larger containers of shrubs together. The phone rang at the same time, and Yoji yelled for the soccer player. He let Aya take over his part and ran for the phone. So Aya and Omi were left in the back for a moment. Carefully, they put the bush by a window, to wait for pest spraying. Omi lagged behind, making Aya afraid.

"My computer was turned off this morning. I left it on last night." Omi said out of the blue. Aya looked at the boy, who was looking at him with a meaningful stare. His eyes were so deep...

"I turned it off."

"I know. I'm a light sleeper." He looked long and hard at Aya. There was something behind his eyes. "Imagine my surprise to wake up with...Aya, I trusted you." Tears...were pain, and betrayal. Omi turned and walked away, leaving Aya cold as ice. Omi wasn't asleep...oh god, what had he done? What had he done? Silent as a shadow, Aya slipped out the door.

"Omi..." He reached for the young chibi, who turned to face him with sorrowful eyes. The boy shook his head slowly, backing away.

"No, Aya. No. Don't talk to me."

He stood in the center of the basement, staring into space. Omi's words echoed in his head, along with his own. I trusted you...betrayer...molester...I trusted you...But I love you...Suddenly, everything moved into focus. He didn't want to hurt Omi again. He could never stop loving him, but he could take the boy's pain away. He went to his room, desolation seizing his mind, numbing his senses, grabbed his coat and his katana, and a small number of other things. After a few moments he left the house, turning only once to say a silent, tearful goodbye to Omi...

" I swear, I think even Yoji is working more than he is now." Ken ranted on the couch. Yoji was gone, out with a girl he met just today and managed to get a phone number from. Omi was tired, and wasn't listening to Ken. He just went up to his room and shut the door.

He turned around, and saw something on his bed. A rose lay atop a letter set carefully on the pillow. Curious, he picked it up and unfolded it with hesitant fingers. His blue eyes moved across the paper once, then twice.

Dearest Omi,

I can't apologize enough. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I never wanted to hurt you like this. I'm sorry.

I can take the pain away. I know enough to go away.

I love you Omi.

The letter fell onto the floor.

There was no direction in Aya's mind, no plan. He couldn't see anything but his beloved Omi illuminated in the sun, an angel haunting his mind. He could only keep running. The sky faded to grey, draining all the color from the world. Rain blended everything into a macabre world of shadows. His feet could go no further. Aya fell, farther and farther from the earth, into oblivion...

There was no light in the sky when Aya woke. Was it possible that the world was dying, just as he was? No, there were stars, and the moon peeked through the buildings. He rubbed the back of his head; there a nasty bump was throbbing, bringing clarity back to the world. Aya tried to look at his surroundings, but was met with a black wall in front of his face. What the...oh, it was dumpster. He'd fallen behind a dumpster. Didn't that just fit the story of his life.

"And we're here, why?" a voice spoke; Aya stayed where he was hid. He recognized the tone.

"Shove it, Mastermind." Aya knew the distinct American accent as well. He wondered what Schwarz was doing around here. He fought to keep his mind blank, clearing every stray thought away from anywhere they might be detected. He'd had experience with the German before, and knew enough to keep him from his thoughts. Aya was very tempted to look around the dumpster to better see the situation, but thought better of it.

"I will if you ask me nicely. You know I love it when you call me that, Oracle." Schu's voice purred, and he heard footsteps and the thud of something hitting a wall. A soft moan floated to his ears. Aya felt as if he'd been slapped. Those two? He could not be in a real dimension. He had been dropped in this strange world where love was allowed for anyone but himself.

" Mmm...Schu...don't...wait...not now. We're here for Farfarello." Crawford spoke firmly, though Aya could hear him trying to talk himself into getting back to work. Where was the Irishman? Aya strained his senses, praying that he wasn't anywhere near him. If he was caught now, after hearing what he had, there would be no tomorrow.

"Hmm, yes, the psychopath didn't come back did he? He was supposed to check on Weiß ...what could have kept him..."

"Cut the crap, Schuldig; can you hear him? Nagi was supposed to..."

"Shh! He's coming our direction, very angry... Nagi interrupted a god-hurting session it seems..." Schu sounded bored, but Aya pricked his ears up for details. Schwarz were going after them. If he could get details now he could tell...who? He had to stay away from his former teammates. There was no going back.

"Can't you make him cooperate?" came Crawford's irritated voice. Aya heard Schu laugh softly. He really wanted to look around, but that would be suicide. He must be patient. He was always patient...

" I'd like to see you make sense of what's left of that twisted mind. No, just stun him when he turns the corner." Pounding feet and heavy breathing became audible, as Farfarello turned the corner. The soft noise of a gun preceded the heavy thump of a falling body.

"Let's go."

"Yes Oracle, exalted foreseer of the future, self appointed leader of this operation, grand high-"

"That's enough, Schuldig." Aya chanced to look as the men retreated. Schu had the unconscious Irishman over a shoulder, following an irritated Crawford out of the alley he was in. Schu paused a moment to shift the load, and moved out of into the night.

Aya quickly left the alley, thoughts blazing a thousand miles an hour in his head. One thing was certain, Weiß couldn't take on Schwarz without him. Hell, they couldn't even take Schwarz with him. And Omi was easy prey.

His head clear for the first time in a long time, Aya strode into the street. He had a purpose.

Aya surveyed his new home. A bed, a laptop on a desk, and a closet not even a quarter filled with his sparse compilation of clothes. He finished it all with a flowerpot of freesias, the only decoration in the otherwise severe, inhospitable apartment.

He moved toward the desk. Nobody may give him credit, and he may not do it often, but he could hack almost as well as Omi. Well...he stood still...never as good as Omi could. He imagined the boy sitting there, his tongue sticking out in concentration, working through a particularly hard defense system. Oh Omi...

Wiping his eyes, and deciding he couldn't work tonight, Aya went to bed. The mattress was much too soft for his liking, and he growled at it fruitlessly before drifting off to sleep. He slept fitfully, waking often to strange feelings. Finally he hit deep unconsciousness.

Aya was back at the shop, dressed in his florist's apron. He gazed about the shop to see everyone else hard at work. Ken watering a shrub, Yoji flirting, where was Omi? He looked around. The chibi was walking across the shop with a bouquet in his hands. Aya happened to look out the window, and started when he saw Schwarz heading straight for the shop. What were they doing here? Nevertheless he kept a straight, albeit stony, face when the door opened and Schu walked in.

Nobody seemed to see Schuldig, and Aya wondered why. Ken walked right past him, and Yoji yelled something to him almost in the German's ear. Aya turned to ask Omi if he just happened to notice the orange haired psychic calmly standing in the middle of the shop, but he stopped when he was hit with a strange sense of déjà vu.

There he was, his angel, standing in the sun, just like a few days ago. Aya held his breath again, and stepped forward. A hand on his shoulder halted him, but he did not turn. He already knew who it was. Then Schu stood next to him, a smile on his face.

" Isn't he beautiful? So innocent, so pure...well, he was." Aya turned to the German, surprise written in his eyes. Schu smiled again and stepped toward the seraph in the sun.

"What do you mean?" Aya growled.

"The heavenly being has been desecrated by a fallen angel of blood. Will you ever regain your immortality, divine creature?" Schu spoke to the boy, who still was unaware of the presence of the psychic. But as he spoke, golden white wings sprouted from Omi's back, unfurling in the sunlight. Aya stared at the being before him, totally forgetting the presence of others, a tear forming in his eye. Schuldig laughed at him.

"Yes, I know what you have done to your precious Omi. I see it even better than you, Aya." The rest of the shop faded away into black, but Omi remained in a ray of light, the essence of perfection. Suddenly, he fell to his knees, eyes shut tight in pain. He was screaming something, and Aya heard his name spoken from those lips.

"No...please don't...Aya no..." Omi's pleading cries echoed in Aya's horror stricken mind. He felt something in his hands, and opened his own eyes; when had he closed them? A torn and bloody wing was held in each hand, and Aya dropped them in dismay. He looked down to find Omi kneeling at his feet, hugging himself tightly, tears and blood running down his face. Schuldig's laughter echoed all around.

"Do you see, Aya? You destroyed him." The German walked to the boy and knelt beside him, looking up at Aya. He pulled a knife from his sleeve. "I'm just here to heal him." Before Aya could move he had slit the boy's throat and disappeared. He caught Omi before he hit the floor.

"Omi...Omi can you hear me?" But he never woke up...

Aya sat up in bed. He hurried to the desk and booted up the computer. He got into their database easily, after all he was a member...once. Fingers flying, he uploaded the mission status files. A white cross blipped by a new line of text. He clicked.

Persia's silhouette popped up on the screen and proceeded to impart the necessary details. Aya stared tight lipped at the screen. It was Schwarz, and it was tomorrow. He wondered if Persia knew about his disappearance, but he probably did. Kritiker seemed to be everywhere.

He spent the next day preparing himself. He must do this quietly, secretly, in the shadows. He had to protect his loved one, but keep his distance. Somewhere in his mind he chided himself for not caring so much about his other team members. Well, he did care, but his Omi was precious. He wanted the best for the boy, even if he couldn't be there. He would make sure the boy survived to live a joyous life.

Aya left his apartment at 10:00, giving himself time to get there before either of them. If he was lucky, Weiß would be there first. If not...they were all in trouble. He stood on the rooftop of an executive building, suddenly sighting a familiar car. It was them. Aya got down to the ground, following his teammates in the shadows. He could hear their conversation from here.

"I can't believe Aya left. Right when we needed him. Why would he do that?" Ken asked, only a little hotly.

"I don't know." Was Omi's quiet reply. Aya almost tripped on nothing. This was why he had to leave. Schu was right, he was tearing him apart. And he never meant to.

" Well, I'd feel a lot better if the numbers were even." Yoji drawled. Aya said nothing. I am here guys...I just can't stay...

They continued to a small courtyard between buildings, with entrances on all sides. This was where Aya split away from them, and went to the roof again. He carefully looked out across the city, watching for their targets. He had time, lots of it. The others were getting situated.

His thoughts began to drift. No Aya, focus on the task at hand. he thought.

But you can't stop thinking about him. came a strange voice in his head. Aya swore...quietly. He stood up to survey the area again. Nothing.

Oh, the poor assassin loved too much. Who will you destroy next, Aya?

Get away from me, bastard! Aya shouted mentally at his attacker.

Very well. By the way, you are so far away from your friends on that roof, you might want to go down and help them. Farfarello is having lots of fun at your angel's expense. Aya reacted quickly, running to the other side of the building, and looking down. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw nothing, and turned away.

Of course...I lied, Fujimiya. Don't you think I know better than to walk into a trap? I send someone else in first. Aya felt something strike him in the back. His eyes widened in surprise, and he tottered on the edge of the roof.

"I got him!" Omi hissed in his headset as he watched the man fall. Appraisal came from the others on their ends. "I'll go check it out." he said. Ken voice his move to the roof, to see if anyone else was there. Yoji pointedly remained where he was.

Omi's heart beat fast. If he had taken down a member of Schwarz, it evened the score for the future. Although it was unusual that one of them would slip up like that. Maybe it was a trap...if Farfarello was the one hit he would still be in perfect fighting condition. The fall wasn't really that high either.

He heard breathing, and caution slowed his step. He never was really very good at fighting in close ranges. Maybe he should get the others...but then he might get away. Omi snuck his way through to the shrubs where the man had fallen. He gasped.

"Aya! What..." he knelt by the man's side. The red head's eyes were closed, but he opened them when he heard his name. Omi looked down at the man's chest, where his arrow had pierced the heart, the point barely sticking out the front. What had he done?

"Omi..." Aya reached up to touch the boy, but he couldn't make his hand move far enough. He knew the wound was fatal. If he pulled the arrow out now it would be over in a few painful seconds. As it was, he needed these last few moments. He spat the blood from his mouth, and again when more welled up.

"I'm sorry Omi...I didn't want to hu...hurt you anymore." He tried to rise, but the boy pushed him down, examining the wound frantically. His eyes were glimmering with tears.

"Oh god, Aya. We can't get this out." he sobbed. "Why didn't you tell us it was you!...Aya you can't go..." Salt tears hit Aya's chest as the man labored to breathe. It was getting harder every second.

"Don't cry, Omi. I want to remember your smile." Aya whispered. The sound of running and crashing heralded Yoji's and Ken's arrival. Yoji took one look and froze. Ken swore under his breath. Aya's breathing became slower and slower.

"Aya don't go!" cried Omi, and he leaned down to hold the man in his arms. Aya lifted his head to whisper in Omi's ear. The boy's tears flooded from his eyes, and he shook his head. Ken almost stepped forward, but Yoji stopped him.

In silence the witnessed Aya's last breath. Omi put him down, and knelt by the body. He whispered something neither of the others caught, and walked away.