NO REGRETS

Catherine talks about the one time Grissom asked her out.

No spoilers

GS towards the end.

Catherine and her new boyfriend were having dinner at his nightclub. Catherine had enjoyed the food and the musical show, but there was something bothering her and she kept glancing at him now and then.

"What is it?" she asked at last, loudly enough to be heard above the music.

"What is what?" he frowned.

"You're dying to ask me something, aren't you?"

"You read me like an open book." He smiled, "Yes, I have a question, but I don't know if I should ask it."

"You can ask me anything." She said, "After a night like this, I'll gladly give up my darkest secrets."

"All right: Did you ever sleep with Gil Grissom?"

Catherine choked on her drink.  She hadn't anticipated this.

"Me?" she quickly recovered, "No. Why?"

"Because you two seem to be very close," he replied, and after a pause he added "He must have made a pass at you, at least."

"And why is that?" she smiled.

"Because," he said suddenly turning serious, "You're hot, Catherine."

"Yes I am," she said smiling, "But no, he didn't."

"I can't believe he never did!" he insisted, "In all these years-"

"You don't know Grissom." She interrupted, "Although… he did ask me out once." She said thoughtfully.

"Really? Where did he take you?

"Nowhere. I said no."

"Why?"

"Oh." She shrugged slightly, "I thought he wouldn't be any fun."

He seemed to consider that answer for a moment.

"So you were never attracted to him?"

"Oh, I was. I mean, fifteen years ago, you wouldn't believe how beautiful that man was. But he was so serious and distant, I knew it would be difficult to get him to open up. Plus, we had nothing in common, except for the job." She smiled, "And I knew, I just knew that he would take me to the theater or the opera, or to a nice quiet restaurant, and I'd be bored to tears. I wanted to go dancing; I wanted excitement, and lights, and loud music."

"And Grissom never asked you out again."

"Nope. And Eddie was already in the picture, so-"

"Any regrets?"

"About choosing Eddie?" she looked at her drink for a moment, "I had some. God knows Eddie wasn't the best husband in the world. But we did have some great times together and we had a daughter. I didn't think Grissom would ever want children-"  She looked up. She knew what he was thinking and she smiled to cover her discomfort. "You know, I used to have this picture in my mind of what sex would be like with Grissom."

"Really" he smiled.

"Yeah. I thought he'd be so clumsy I'd have to tell him what to do, where to do it, and how to do it." she rolled her eyes, "I imagined him looking carefully at me and then comparing my body to some illustration…  and following instructions from a book." She spoke in a serious tone, " 'Now proceed to lick the right nipple-'" she smiled.

"'-until it hardens and resembles a pebble-" he finished.

They both laughed and lifted their drinks to toast each other.

"So, no regrets." He said after a moment.

"None at all."

He was glad.  For a while he had wondered… but if she said 'no regrets,' then he would believe her.

Catherine turned to watch the dancers on the stage, thinking of Grissom's friendship and how important it had become over the years.

No, she had never regretted saying 'no'…

…Well, except once.

When Lindsay was born, Eddie hadn't stayed for long at the hospital; he'd simply given her a  lame excuse about 'having some work to do' but Catherine had known all along that  he was meeting a girlfriend. It was nothing new; Eddie had cheated on her before, and more after Catherine began putting on weight due to her pregnancy. 

And then, after the long hours of labor, she had looked so awful, all puffy and exhausted, that Eddie couldn't take it.  He was happy that they had a daughter, but hey, he was a guy, he needed to have some fun. Catherine had sighed. She'd have to get back in shape quickly if she wanted to keep her husband interested.

Later that day, Grissom had arrived with a little gift for the baby and flowers for her. He had held Lindsay for a moment, carefully and a little afraid of not doing it well. Then he had gently wiped Catherine's face with a cloth, and had asked if she needed anything.

Gil Grissom.  Sooo boring.

But he had been there for her.

She had wondered then what life might have been like with him...

And now she knew.

Because only three hours ago, Sara had given birth to their first baby, and Grissom had been right there with her, whispering words of encouragement and giving her his hands so she had something to hold on to as she moaned and pushed. Sara had gone into labor at the lab, and with no time to take her to the hospital, Jacqui and Catherine had had to help.

It was quite a revelation. Catherine had only had a few glimpses of Grissom and Sara as a couple before, but it had been wonderful to witness the love those two shared. She watched in awe as Grissom kissed Sara's puffy and sweaty face, thanking her over and over for loving him and for being so strong…

Boring and socially inept, both of them; bad dressers and no fun… But how lovingly had they looked at each other as everybody else admired their baby girl… And how tenderly had Grissom held his daughter as the ambulance took them to the hospital at last…

"Let's dance, Catherine." her boyfriend said, interrupting her musings.

"Sure." She said, glad that he'd asked her out. She sure needed excitement and loud music tonight.

The end.

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