A/N: Okay, this is a much over due update but here it is at last. Just please keep in mind that I'm not attacking anyone and that this is not necessarily my opinion. If you'll notice with the last chapter, I really do like Evanescence, as stated in my profile. I'm sorry if this section echoes a part of your fic but I've only included concepts I've noticed repeated more than once. I've also gone out of my away to draw parallels to my own fics.

Unable to ignore the increasing yells coming from deep within the opera house, Fluff, Sensual, and Smut headed out to find their favorite trio. It didn't take long before they came across the scene of Erik and Christine trading various creative remarks back and forth while Raoul was practically in tears of amusement.

This was not right.

The three girls looked to each other with horrified expressions clearly planted across their faces. This was not how things were meant to turn out!

"Oh no! They can't be fighting!" squealed Fluff as they descended closer.

"Maybe this is just some random angst?" Smut suggested casually. They were now close enough to at least partially divert Erik and Christine's attention.

"We have to do something. Our shipping is at stake!" cried Sensual, nearly frantic with worry.

Christine and Erik stopped fighting at once to stare the three girls who had just interrupted them. Christine rolled her eyes wondering what now they were up to, Erik looked slightly pleased, Raoul, worried.

"You know what this means!" again squealed Fluff in a voice similar to that of a banshee's, making Christine cringe.

"Rainstorm session!" they all yelled at once. The girls all huddled together, grinning mischievously.

"Should I be scared?" Christine asked to Erik but he merely shrugged. Raoul on the other hand nodded rapidly and began to back away ever so slowly.

Though it looked as thought they were trying to be discrete, the trio could clearly hear the girl's shrill voices from where they were grouped. Smut seemed to be taking charged. "Okay, first we have to have Christine with Raoul but then…"

"Oh, he ends up cheating on her with Meg."

"No, that's not believable…"

"Well what if he turns into an abusive drunk?"

"Just because?.. I like it!"

"No, no. Because his family cut his inheritance for marrying an opera wench so now they have to live in poverty and he ends up resenting her because of it."

Normally it wasn't too hard to tell the girls apart but strangely it seemed as though their voices melded into one high-pitched squee, if that was a word…

"But I like a sympathetic Raoul."

"Okay, so we make him nice but Christine can't stand his society and they don't accept her. She just doesn't fit in, so she decides to leave him."

"Pfft! No one's going to believe that. As if Christine could make a conclusive decision."

Christine scoffed, Erik looked amused.

"Fine that leaves only one option."

"Yes, indeed."

Raoul paled.

"Christine slowly realizes that she loves Raoul as a brother, not as a wife."

Raoul looked slightly satisfied though Christine, for some reason, was not… Raoul wasn't sure why.

"Of course! And since she knows that Raoul deserves more than that she divorces him so that he may have the happy fulfilling marriage that he should have… rather than making love to his sister…" Smut triumphantly cried, very pleased with her self.

Christine was not at all amused. "You guys are sick, you know that, right? We've officially crossed the line into incest now, you do realize that?"

The girls shrugged. "Eh, you should read what comes out of the Harry Potter fandom."

Everyone in the room shuddered.

"Well how long am I married to Raoul before I realize I'm sleeping with my brother then?" Christine asked at last, no longer wishing to think of all the possible, and thoroughly explored HP pairings.

"Give or take a few years I'd say."

Erik just barely suppressed a laugh when Christine shot an Erik worthy glare in his direction. "You, are in no position to comment."

He raised an eyebrow.

Christine, who seemed to have lost all her ethereal beauty that had so encapsulated every man's dreams, glowed with a ferocity beyond this world. "Do you want me to dig out the portrait of Madeline, Mr. I'm in love with my mother?"

The girls and Raoul giggled. Raoul seemed to be very good at giggling like a girl, Christine chose not to notice, he was her husband/brother after all… husband, clearly only a husband…

Christine shuddered.

"Okay, so Christine leaves Raoul because she realizes sex with her brother isn't all that it's cracked up to be."

Why, why, why! were the lives of literary characters forever condemned to be plagued by the minds of fourteen-year-old girls enjoying the perks of puberty? Christine wasn't sure how much more she could take. "So I decide sex with a man who thinks I'm his mother is better?"

"Shht! We're not necessarily Susan Kay writers… anyways, where were we? Oh yes, so she runs back to Erik."

"No, she goes through some unbelievably hard times afterwards so that she has pain that helps her relate to him."

"Excellent idea," chimes in Smut, as though it was and incredibly knew idea. "So after some horrible events on her own, Christine runs into Erik…"

"And of course neither will admit they still love each other..." adds Fluff.

"Which they obviously do…" this time it's Sensual.

Do they really have distinct personalities, Christine wonders. "Despite all evidence on Christine's side claiming differently…" She adds knowing she'll be ignored.

"We'll throw in a lot of angst. And I mean ANGST!"

"Oh, Erik throws a near violent temper tantrum…"

"Or comes close to rapping her." Yes, Smut could definitely be described as distinct… or was it as any average seventeen-year-old girl?

Christine glares. "Because we all know how 'hot'rape is…"

Of course she is ignored.

"But then Erik gets sick and Christine nurses him back to health giving him hope that she still cares for him!"

"And then Christine gets sick and Erik nurses her, making her realize how much she cares for him!"

"And then more ANGST!"

"Followed up by a steamy sex scene!" Obviously this was Smut, but it was getting increasingly hard to tell… "And to make it complete, Christine removes his mask and doesn't mind at all."

"Of course then they have to get married."

"And Christine bares his child."

"Of course! How perfect!"

"But then what?"

The girls paused. The trio stood horror struck… or in Erik's case, quite proud.

"You know what this means, right?"

They all nodded, malevolent smiles growing upon their glowing facades. This was the moment they had all been waiting for, the moment that made their story truly individual…

"Time to get out, The Hat," announced Smut.

"The Hat?"

"Yes," Smut replied. "The Hat of incredibly random plot twists."

The girls all nodded in reverence. Erik and Raoul were both paler than usual. It was after all, The Hat of Incredibly Random Plot Twists.

"And the plot twist is…" Smut pulled out a hat from seemingly nowhere and drove her hand into its blackidly black depth.

Christine thought that Smut was much too enjoying her position of power within the group. As if blackidly black was even a word... "The plot twist is… Erik is a ghost!"

Sensual flung up her hands in annoyance. "Well there goes the having a child idea."

"But they can still be married right? Married in death! How romantic." Yes, Fluff seemed very happy in a sublime sort of way while she dazed off into space.

Christine glared, romantic indeed. Next they'll be bringing up necrophilia... "How creepy," she replied monotonously.

Nobody looked particularly impressed, except for Smut that is. The idea of sex with a ghost seemed to help her transcend to another plain of existence.

"Did we hear something about death?"

Great, now Bittersweet and Tragedy had arrived, Christine thought with annoyance. Well, how could they not if the concept of death and Christine or Erik were mentioned in the same sentence? It was, after all, there specialty.

"May I ask you one question before these two start in?" Christine interrupted, focusing her full attention on the E/C'ers. "What exactly is your story's plot?"

The E/C'ers frowned in unison.

"Well we just said it," replied Fluff in confusion.

"Yes, you've mentioned how it turns out E/C." Christine began, wondering if Raoul and Erik forgot the mechanics behind the use of their tongue's. "But what is the actual story line."

"We just said it," again replied Fluff

"Story line?" asked Sensual.

"Well what's the objective of the story other than Erik getting laid?"

"There's another objective?" Smut glared at Christine daring her to admit that there could truly be any other plot that did not involve the idea of Erik receiving the perfect lay. It was proposterus.

Please R&R!