Identity crisis

Disclaimer: Not mine

Starring: Link, the pissed off Hero of Time who refused to be sent back to relive the seven years

Sheik, the Sheikah who wasn't Zelda in disguise.

Setting: Sheik is bound to a tree in the Lost Woods, and has been like this for almost a day. He awakes, to find Link staring at him, Master Sword drawn. Sheik knows what this is all about; Link's (understandably) annoyed with Zelda, who hasn't seen him since the final battle, and he's been bottling up a lot of hatred towards her for a long time. Hence, on seeing Sheik, he immediately assumes it's her.

*

"I'm not your precious Zelda; get away from me Hylian!" Struggles.

"You ruined me – look what you did to me!" Advances.

"I did nothing Hero. I spent those seven dread years saving multitudes of your useless, Hylian race! How can I help it if your dear princess saw fit to imitate me at the end?"

"Liar!" Sword ready to strike.

"Why would I lie? Wouldn't it be more beneficial were I her to tell the truth, and call those very guards to my aid? See, I shall call them with magic if you wish me to."

"How can I know you just haven't told them not to come, you bitch...?"

"Bloody Hylian idiot! I'm not your precious princess, I would have thought my anatomy would prove that full well!"

"..." Cheeks flushed.

"Ah, so I see you can't even bring yourself to remember that – do I really repulse you so much?"

"It sickens me that I took pleasure in it, yes."

"Hero..." Softly.

"Don't you dare call me that... I'm no Hero. Just some servant to your perverse ideas of justice." Right hand curls into a fist.

"You're a servant indeed? Try being a Sheikah, you little brat!"

"Brat? And here's me thinking all along that you were the one who sent me off to what could have been my doom with only a smile as payment. Well, thank you for clearing that up your majesty, I'm so grateful..." Mocking curtsey.

"For the last blasted time, I'm not Zelda. Sheik. S H E I K. Spells Sheik, not Zelda. I am a man, she is a woman, I am a Sheikah, she's a Hylian princess of questionable lineage! Why can't you understand?" Struggles.

"Because understanding a lie would be a bit pointless, wouldn't it, Zelda? Of course, you'd know an awful lot about lying..."

"I'm not lying. Please, can't you see, I'm not lying?" Tears.

"Don't try that on me princess – tears won't help you."

"I'm not Zelda!"

"Ah, ah, didn't your mother ever tell you that lying wasn't nice?"

"Don't take that tone with me – at least I knew my mother."

"Questionable lineage, did you say? Impa perhaps?"

"..." Looks down and cannot meet his eyes.

"What, no answer your highness? No new lie to cover this up? Well?"

"I..."

"You...do carry on, I'm finding this fascinating."

"She's my mother...yes..."

"At last, we're getting somewhere!" Grip loosens on sword.

"Indeed. And, have you ever noticed how your princess doesn't have any Sheikah qualities about her whatsoever?"

"What? Don't start that again for Goddesses sakes!"

"Why not? I don't really want to be killed because you've mistaken me for that bitch who stole my identity...who stole..."

"What was that? Sorry, didn't catch that last part." Places sword to his throat.

"Ow – get that sword away from my throat and maybe I'll rep- argh!" Pulls away from the pain.

"Tsk, tsk, play nice your majesty, or you might just find a usurper within me. The last part?"

"..." Spits.

"You little-!" Slaps. "I should kill you now."

"Go on then. Kill me for trying to help you..."

"Help me? HELP ME? It's because of you I've become this monster. All people see me as now is the boy who killed their brother, father, husband, son, by opening the door of time under YOUR orders."

"I wasn't even in Hyrule then!"

"Oh, really, and where were you? The little fantasy land where you're really a Sheikah by the name of Sheik, and you get to screw the Hero of Time?"

"..." More tears.

"Oh stop it, you pathetic whore, and grow up. At least you had seven years in which to become an adult, as opposed to my three hours of tuition in the Realm."

"Tuition that I helped you with." Bitterness.

"You never helped me. You killed me."

"I'm guilty of nothing that you'd care to throw at me, Hero."

"What did I tell you about calling me that?"

"Well, what else can I call you? I can't exactly call you Link, can I?"

"And why not? Is my name so awfully common that you don't want to touch it with your dainty princess voice?"

"I don't see what's so dainty about this voice." Sarcastic chuckle.

"No...it doesn't suit you at all princess. Nor does much of this façade of yours...however, it is a vast improvement on your normal self I suppose..." Advances.

"I'm not sure whether to be offended by the fact that you still believe me that bitch, or gratified."

"Trust me...be offended." Rips off his facemask.

"..." Ducks head forward to try and cover his face with hair.

"Give it up your majesty – I've seen this face of yours before, remember?" Forces him to look straight ahead.

"Just kill me; this is getting embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? Really? Shame that, because I've just had an interesting idea." Smirks.

"Wh-what?" Shivers.

"Oh, scared are we? Very wise...very wise indeed, your majesty."

"I am NOT the princess. Why won't you believe me? WHY?"

"Because I'm not going to fall for another of your tricks, Zelda." Drops Master sword.

"It's not a trick."

"You would say that." Withdraws a bomb from his pouch.

"...Link...?" Eyes wide.

"Oh! You actually used my name. Bravo!"

"Link, don't."

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Because you'll be killing an innocent. And hasn't enough innocent blood been spilt in Hyrule to last forever?"

"Shut up."

"Link, please, I-"

"Just shut up!" Frustrated tears. "You make it sound like it was my fault all those people died, but no, it was your fault. All your fault!"

"No, I didn't mean... I just..."

"You just don't want to die, that's what. Coward. You'd rather have seen a ten year old boy go die in your stead, that admit to your father that you had the sight."

"What?" Genuine shock.

"You really are a good actress, aren't you?" Sadistic laugh. "No wonder I almost believed that someone could..."

"Could what?"

"It doesn't matter..."

"No, it does. Could what?"

"Could nothing, it's none of your business!" Puts bomb back in pouch. "No...that's too quick for you."

"..." Gulps audibly.

"Now, what else do I have around here?" Searches pack.

"Link."

"Be quiet."

"No, Link, listen!"

"I said shut up!" Turns around to look. "Oh Goddesses..." Faints.

"Hello Sheik."

"Your Majesty." Bows within bonds.

"This has been most interesting viewing, but...I'd rather he didn't wake up and kill me." Rubs thumb over Tri-Force symbol on back of her hand.

"Majesty?" Bites lip.

"Oh, it's quite simple. You can have my form, and I'll take yours."

"What? NO!" Struggles.

"Come now, it's all in a Sheikah's duty. And...well...I'm intrigued as to just what screwing the Hero of Time would be like." Smirks.

"Link! Link, wake the hell up!"

"It won't help you Sheikah." Grabs his throat with both gloved hands. "Look at me. That's an order."

"No." Closes eyes.

"Look." Sends magic spark through him.

"Fuck!" Opens eyes. "No..."

Sheik's form changes into Zelda's, and now it seems as though the princess is tied to the tree, and that Sheik is leaning casually against it, regarding the unconscious Hero of time with a predatory grin.

"Oh..." Jumps up, Master Sword in hand.

"Hello Link."

"...Sheik?"

"Aye. The real Sheik. I've been stuck in her majesty's body for a long time now... Only just now have I gotten my own form back."

"Then...the Temples?"

"Yes, that was me." Advances, arms outstretched.

"I..."

"Shush Link, it'll be all right." Embraces him.

"Lying bitch." Whispers into her ear.

"What d- argh!"

"Never try to lie to me." Withdraws Master Sword from 'Sheik's' body.

The fallen 'Sheik' reverts to Zelda as the pool of blood around her grows. The 'Zelda' tied to the tree returns to Sheik, and his head flops onto his chest, for he is out cold.

"Bitch." Kicks princess's body.

"Link..." Murmurs feverishly.

"I'm here."

"Huh? What? Hero? What happened, what's going on?"

"How many times? Don't call me Hero!" Grabs him roughly by the chin.

"Don't call me Zelda then." Raises eyebrow.

"Oh, don't worry – that won't be a problem anymore."

"Great Golden Goddesses!" Catches sight of the dead Zelda. "Did you just? How did you-?"

"Sheik."

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Oh..."

Link carefully undoes Sheik's restraints. Sheik is weakened by the past twenty four hours, and Link is only just able to catch him before he hits the floor (and also the princess's spreading blood). Link hands Sheik his facemask, but Sheik declines.

"What's the point? As you said, you've already seen my face before..."

"And more..." Sly grin.

*

Gah. I decided to post this because I've been procrastinating over various other fics, and this just popped into my head whilst looking at various pieces of fanart over at devART. Sorry if it's a bit confusing as to who's speaking, but I was trying for a different style of writing for once, in which I (as you can see) focused mainly on speech, opposed to action. It turned out all right I suppose...

Review. You never know, I might actually be inclined to finish something one of these days if you do. [Wink]

Soda