I don't think you seem to understand

A shame you seemed an honest man

There is nothing to lose, there is everything to gain…life is only a simple thread in the balance of life. One can only see that when life hangs in the balance, such it was to a certain Kaiba, who's eye were closed, with the same arrogant smirk that he was born with.

The barrel of the golden gun was pressed to his forehead, wrinkling the otherwise flawless skin, and he smirked, feeling the shaking of the gun against his face.

Azure eyes met with the furious golden, and they focused on the shaking finger that was hooked around the trigger, and he smirked, flicking his tongue against the bottom row of his teeth then biting it.

It had turned into a unlikely fashion, to hide the anger and confusion that whirled around in front of his eyes, to hold himself in check, to keep up the solitary mask.

"Why the anger, Katsuya-chan?" he teased, and the gun dug into his skin some more, bringing him into laughter, " I haven't done anything yet…"

Katsuya was perched on his desk, in a springing position, holding the gun against Kaiba with a passionate look. Fire seemed to seep from him, his body lean, arched like a mountain lion ready to kill the prey.

Several feet were the two players apart, and they wore the same blank stone glaze of someone who knew pain as an ally to advance themselves into further perfectionism. Seto's feet lounged on the table, the heavy steel toes pointing to the ceiling, leaning slightly against Jou's hip, and Jou's hand was placed with comfort on it, clenching at it, digging the nails into it, as a scratching post to sharpen the deadly claws.

"I need money…you owe me that much." The rough voice spit out, tinged with the sadness of something lost that could never be found again, the underlying emotion among the harsh grating voice.

"I don't think I owe you anything…" Swift, smooth, suave…his voice said nothing to how he felt. Exterior was cool and collected, nothing bothering him, but inside he was jumpy, running through ways to get out, escaping this intolerable position of being controlled and manipulated.
"It wasn't me who killed him," he added, edging this conflict a few more notches up, raising the stakes.

It was looking into a mirror, as Jonouchi growled at him, the wild beast in him appearing, as Kaiba sneered. Though the expressions were opposite in all ways, they looked identical… preparing, baiting, longing to see who was the stronger of the two.

The chair swerved as all 180 pounds of lean muscle hit the chair as the once sunny child drove his body into it, landing on Kaiba's lap. The golden gun clattered to the ground, a bullet being driven into the wall, nearly missing the electric cord that kept the computers running.

It ended, landing to face the glass wall, thin fingers pressed heavily against the CEO's throat, cutting off the air supply but not enough to make him pass out. Kaiba liked it this way, air was not something he needed, and the tension against his neck made him giddy, it was a personal favorite torment.

"You mine as well did kill him!" a shower of spit hit his cheek, and he flinched. He could deal with anything but psychical contact of that sort. He longed to wipe it off and run into the shower and clean himself. His head spun, he was feeling dirty, and he was losing track of the problem at hand.

He looked at the smaller boy who was on top of him, dominating him. It amused him, the lower held the power, but he was seeing that they were equals. Long gone was the innocent face that was Jou's, it was replaced with soulless raging eyes, and a tight face, losing the childish skin that made him look human. He looked like a walking dead, his lips cracked and a dull color. Hair was no longer shining, it was dull and looked untamed, dusting his crooked shoulders.

He looked like what he was, and that idea didn't settle well in him.

"Pegasus killed him…" he brought his hands to clasp Jonouchi's, stroking the palms. He hated the feeling of skin touching skin, but it was to keep the blonde in check. A sucking in of breath, shock and the hands fell off his neck, Kaiba taking a grip around the wrists.

He would let Jonouchi figure out what it meant, because he himself had no idea. He massaged the wrists, clenching them tightly, mixing up the familiar mix of pain and comfort, which put Jou at ease. It was something he recognized.

"He blamed himself for you dying!" The voice was shrill and in pain, and Kaiba waited for the hit that never came. Jou just collapsed against him, leaning his head into his shoulder. Kaiba just sat there, confused to what was going on, but let the boy sob against his shoulder, feeling the cold tears trickle down his shirt, and he again flinched, he wasn't feeling clean. He needed soap.

"He…wouldn't talk to his other side…that's why he lost…Pegasus creamed him!" Jou muttered into his shoulder, still hysterical but was beginning to calm down, and Kaiba put an arm to cradle the small of the boy's back, trying to be reassuring.

"At least he is dead now…" he whispered, and Jou nodded, nuzzling his nose into the crook in Kaiba's neck, just holding him.

It had gone from Jou wanting to kill him, now he was the teddy bear. And he was sure that the day was going to get a lot more interesting, when Jonouchi realized what he was doing.

The clock had ticked off five minutes when Jonouchi jumped up, his thoughts finally catching up with his actions, and he eyed Kaiba warily.

"Why were you hugging me and being nice?" he accused suspiciously, pressing his index finger to Kaiba's nose, poking it. Kaiba went cross-eyed, looking at it then to focus back on him.

" You decided to use me as a tissue…" was the simple explanation and it was accepted. "Now tell me why you are here again?"

"I need money, you are going to give me some…" His hands were still wrapped around Kaiba's neck, curling the thin hairs around his finger then releasing them, in an affectionate way or maybe he was just easily amused, the conclusion was by Kaiba.

"What do you need money for?"

"For Shizuka's operation…she can barely see, the deadline for the money is soon."

"Why should I do that?" His voice wasn't exactly cold anymore, it wasn't inviting either though.

"Why?" the boy shrieked, shaking Kaiba's shoulders from behind. " What would you do if your only sibling was in danger? What would you do if Mokuba was kidnapped or something?"

When the dizziness had passed, and he had erased the fact that he was being touched by people, which was making him need a shower badly, he answered truthfully. " They would not be living anymore."

"You have Mokuba, I have my sister. I lost the finals to Yugi…and when Yugi lost, there went the money for the operation. You are going to give me the money…because I am blaming it his death on you!" When Kaiba opened his mouth to speak, he felt a hand clasp it over his, and his tongue brushed against it. He was repulsed, it tasted salty, left a garlic sort of flavor in his mouth.

His mind began to search for the Listerine when Jonouchi continued, " Yeah, Yeah! I know! You didn't kill him, but you are going to give me the money. It's spare change for someone like you! Please!"

He was whining and Kaiba was reminded of Mokuba only so well. It put a pang through his heart and he looked at the anxiously waiting Katsuya.

"Yes…I will give you the money." He was being nice for once, and he felt something-wet touch his cheek, and he pushed Jou off his lap out of habit.

"Rule one…do not touch me! I know you are happy but no touching." Kaiba barked but Jonouchi only smiled, cheering. He looked like his normal self now, for only a second before the darkness within his soul settled back in.

"Can I have the money today? The deadline was today…"

Kaiba groaned but kept his silence, as he motioned for Jou to follow him out of the building and to his car.

Two inches of molten steel lay between the two teenage boys, the barrier from each other mentally was much greater. The rusty blue Volvo rolled down the smooth road, riding down the yellow line, each of the four wheels attached to it. It was perfectly in order, not making a noise, never drifting off the yellow line, the same…as this was normal.

A perfect resemble of Kaiba as he drove, in the structure of normality. In his mind, Jonouchi didn't have some of his money, he wasn't acting friendly to the blonde, he wasn't repaying any dues to the society that had alienated him at birth, he was still the rich insecure CEO who held the world as its feet. The past weeks hadn't taken place…they were just dreams that were flying away in the wind as it streamed from his passenger's hair, tangling it.

Jonouchi was talking to himself, trying to fill the silence between them, and what he was saying fell on deaf ears for the air covered all the noise, and he was smiling, bubbling with energy. He was trying to pretend he was the same person he was…making noise to get rid of the excess time that could be thought as time to reflect on the miserable section that was his life.

And to all the world who saw them, driving at the exact speed limit, stopping at the right number of feet that was is taught to when they were learning how to drive, they did not see the arrogance or the sarcastic smile that was their trademark.

What they saw were two broken men, who were living their life for the sake of saying I am alive, not for any other reason except for others. Stitches of their torn bodies were what kept the stuffing inside to make them real, and bruises where there once was emotion.

A bump, the two bodies jolt forward and upward, a disturbance in the perfected balance of their lives. They were unaware of the metaphor it was, you could pretend the world was still the same, but it changes, and bumps and bumps, making the body sore and weary, wanting to go back to the smooth road.

Kaiba hit the gas peddle, slamming it to the ground in an instant spontaneous second, and the red needle that marked the speed jumped up, going from 40 mph to 120, the fastest it could go.

The wind consumes the body, and you no longer see or hear, but you feel the path you are going on. There are no bumps, only the knowledge that you are flying and are unbound by the slow pace that life takes. There is no you anymore, there is nothing anymore, but the sensation of life speeding you by, and the cold chill that runs through your body of not knowing how this will turn out.

The needle began to slow down lightly, moving down lower and lower as the acceleration decreased. Kaiba wore a look of frazzled confusion, but his eyes were to the sky, taking in the beauty that nature held, the simplicity of the light blue sky in the daytime, with one white cloud right in the center in an assorted shape, reforming as it moved along the horizon.

Jonouchi's hair was messed up, sticking up along with his hands which were dangling out of the window of the car, his head thrown back, mouth open to catch the cool candy air. All control was lost, it was freedom...he had lost all care for everything.

The car pulled into the parking lot, taking a handicapped spot, which was right next to the hospital doors. Jou didn't question him as they exited the car, walking to the front door. He didn't know anything about what was going to happen, but he trusted Kaiba oddly. He had never trusted him before…but something had changed when he spoke to Kaiba this morning. Something within his mind told him it wasn't a mistake this had happened, he would be begging Kaiba for help. It wasn't a mistake that Yugi died, though that idea pissed Jonouchi off to no end, and he went on that one last ray of hope he had felt, when he had pointed the gun at Kaiba's forehead. Kaiba didn't look surprised nor did he talk or question, he just looked relieved, that was all. It intrigued him…for he saw it in himself. The relief he may die and the pain will go away…it was thrilling and intoxicating, yet sickening all at the same time.

They wove their way through the halls, and Kaiba motioned with his chin for Jonouchi to go in and talk to his sister while Kaiba talked to the doctor and paid up.

His sister's room was the only room he had ever seen in a hospital that wasn't decorated. It disgusted him that because she was blind, they could give her a crappy room that looked like a death chamber of white, and they were unaware she could see more then they ever could. Her only piece of furniture was the bed that was hooked to a table full of equipment for doctors, and he scooted up a chair next to her bed, and grabbed her hand, which she clenched tightly.

His little sister lay there, so pale and beautiful, her long auburn hair brushing to one side to form a glowing halo of a soft blanket, and he stroked her forehead.

"Shizuka, I got the money…" he exclaimed in a whisper, and she smiled, her soft small voice sighing happily.

"Thank you, Oni-chan. Are you feeling more cheerful today?"

"Why wouldn't I be cheerful? You are going to see again!"

"You are not doing good with showing fake emotion. You aren't okay…"

"So what?"

Shizuka sighed, stroking her brother's cheek lightly. He warmed to the touch immediately and she spoke strongly. " Promise me that when I see you again, I can see your smile, a true Katsuya smile!"

"Yugi always made me promise things like that too…" he mumbled, and he felt a peck on the cheek, and he saw his sister smile, looking at him lovingly, though her eyes were covered in bandages. It radiated from her and she hugged him.

"Go talk to Kaiba-san…he is the one kind enough to pay for me, ne? He's outside of the room…" she added, feeling the hesitation of her brother as he tried to think of an excuse.

The door closed behind Jonouchi as he made his escape, the sadness making his feet feel like lead weights, his sister was so cheerful, why couldn't he be happy like her? She was going through so much and all she did was worry about him, never about her.

"The bills are paid for…" Kaiba stated, never one to talk overly much, and Jonouchi followed him out of the hospital, Kaiba seemed to know his way around it, never missing his steps which went in perfect march with long strides. Everything was perfected to be perfect so nothing ever seemed wrong with the tall boy though his heart could be shattered and he was dying from within.

"How much were they?"

"It doesn't concern you."

" I want to know."

" 40 grand, that's all."

" I don't have that…"

"Thus I pay it."

" Is it…that okay?"

" It works, it's fine."

"Are you sure really?"

" I have enough money."

" Do I repay you?"

"You won't be capable."

"True, I haven't money."

" That has been established."

"Why are you paying?"

The car halted in the middle of the road as Kaiba slammed on the brake, shaking. Their conversation was going fine, simple monotone sentences and Jou had to ask the question he didn't want to answer.

"Because I want to." Was his answer, he didn't feel he had to clarify. He had to stick to the pattern, nothing could be out of the ordinary.

" That's not a reason."

"It's not, so what?"

"Say what you feel…"

"Why must I share?"

"I want to know."

"You don't need to."

"I have to know."

"You don't care."

"Damnit Kaiba, I care!" Katsuya broke the pattern again and the car halted again on the road as the brake was applied. He used emotion, that wasn't allowed in this game they were playing. "Stop playing your little word games and tell me what you are thinking!" he screamed and the second rule was out the window, Kaiba had won the game. It didn't give him much satisfaction.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why are you helping me? Why did you pay 40 thousands dollars on my sister on someone you didn't even know, for me when I have done nothing but been mean to you as you have to me? Why now?"

Kaiba paused for a second, and the car went back to driving down the street, passing the grassy fields of wheat and he finally answered as they passed the blueberry bush on the side of the road before re-entering Domino City.

" Yugi made me promise…"

" I see…" was Jonouchi's comment. " Why did you do it? You hated him…"

"I hate everything about him…that's why I obeyed his words." The car pulled into the driveway of the Kaiba mansion and Kaiba opened the door and stormed inside, his trench coat floating in the wind.

Jonouchi followed, still not having the answer to the question. He couldn't leave until the question was answered.

The remainder of the day was silent and went at a slow pace of boredom, Kaiba was refusing to admit Jou's existence, and so he played video games with Mokuba for hours along with some tennis in which Jonouchi got beaten badly, and dinner consisted of three people sitting around a table, not talking or speaking, nor eating the same food.

Jonouchi was scarfing down one of the delivered pizzas, Kaiba was eating cereal, spooning it into his mouth with a glare at his brother who was forcing him to eat it, and Mokuba who was eating roasted turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy, the only one eating a real meal.

The two brothers split off, leaving Jonouchi to finish his 8th slice of pizza, which gave him a guilt trip because there would only be one piece left for the Kaiba's and that wasn't enough for one person.

Wandered aimlessly was his goal, trying to find Kaiba, and he found him swimming laps in the pool, it figured they had one but he didn't suspect that Kaiba liked to swim.

Ivory swim trunks fitted him like a second skin as he swam side to side of the pool, doing two laps before going up for breath, though he needed it. He panted, letting his body lie on the surface, floating along in the gentle waves of the pool.

" I know you don't hate Yugi. I saw you after the funeral…that you didn't show up for. You stood in the rain, kneeling by his grave. You were screaming at him as the thunder crashed, and lightning lit up the night sky. You were there for an entire day, just mumbling…until finally Mokuba convinced you that you were going to die, you still stayed, with the same stone face, full of fury and sadness. What did you say to him, Kaiba-kun?"

His soft voice rang through the huge room, and Kaiba responded to the echoes, still not looking at the asker.

"I hate him, that is what I told him. I hated how he destroyed this apparition of happiness and threw my heart on the ground and stomped on it, shattering. I hate how he was better then me, and could beat me with such a gentle smile on his face. I hated the way he was kind to me though I hurt him. I wanted him to die, because I hated that much because in the end, I didn't hate him at all, I respected him. I hated that he didn't hate me in return…I hate the fact that he died in such a dishonorable way, it was me who was to defeat him, not Pegasus."

Kaiba dove under the water, and went to sit on the bottom, his head looking up through the glassy water, towards the light. Some emotion flew through Jonouchi's heart, he didn't know which one or why, and he dived in, his jeans immediately getting soaked and weighing him down, as he swam towards the bottom.

Even in the deep water, Kaiba could scowl and he went back to the surface, Jou holding on his foot to pull him up. He didn't know how to swim…and he gripped onto the wall when he reached air.

"He destroyed me…" was Kaiba's words as he lay there, floating in the water. His swim trunks bunched around in the water, making a flat parachute around the frail nimble body.

"Was it so bad that he did?"

"I needed it…no one saw it, only him, a stranger." Kaiba pushed onto the wall, lifting his body off the water, dripping everywhere, and Jou looked up at him in wonder. The boy was exposed, the scars that lined his back were presented to the world to know, and his bare chest was defined to perfection, keeping its lanky appearance, but ideal.

"You were the same…" and Kaiba nodded in agreement. " That's why he gave you the puzzle, because it was only you that was an equal."

"It deserved to be me…who died. Not him…"
" It should be any of us…but never Yugi. And yet Yugi was the one who died…he wasn't even the one who lost."

Their thoughts ran along similar planes as both wiped their bodies of the water, in Jou's case, he stripped out of all his clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Kaiba didn't pay much notice to that. There was tranquility among them, their pain was shared…

They wandered up to Kaiba's bedroom, and Jou was tossed an extra set of clothing, he turned his back to Kaiba and changed. He wasn't ashamed of himself, he had nothing to hide, and Kaiba went into the closet to hide himself while he dressed.

Jonouchi took a look around the room, noticing the lack of decoration. It was simple, a navy blue wall and silver carpeting. The bed was king sized and low to the ground, covered in thin sheets piled high of every color in the rainbow. A computer lay in the corner, with a file cabinet and a desk, in chaos.

The other side of the room wasn't used but he noted something odd in the corner. A nail was stuck into the wall and that was where the puzzle hung, The puzzle which was pointed down naturally to be a upside down pyramid was right up, looking regal.

Pegasus's face was on the wall, with darts scattered everywhere in it, and red marks covered it as he was bleeding. His precious toon monsters were dead in dissected corpses, molding in the various corners.

"I wish he hadn't died…" Kaiba growled, as a steak knife whizzed past Jou's ear, landing in the center of Pegasus's golden eye.

"Why is that?"

"I would have picked something much worse then slaughter, and I want to kill him myself…no, the only one not effected by him gets to kill him."

" But at least he is dead…it's better if he was living, free to roam." Katsuya pointed out and Kaiba just rolled his eyes, flopping down on the bed, laying his head into his hands, feet propped up on the pillows.

"Since that day, I haven't dueled…I can't pick up a card and not think of him…" Jou continued. " He was such a weak person, but yet he held so many lives in his small hands, and he never asked for help. He never thought about himself, only about others. And now here we are, nothing has changed because of him…within a week, it will be back to before we meet Yugi, no one gets along…and his death will have been for nothing."

"Things have changed in the world, Katsuya…you just aren't looking closely enough…" Kaiba mumbled, curling up in fetal position, laying down on the pillows.

"What has changed? Anzu hates all of us because he allowed him to die, Honda is back on the streets, getting in gun fights, Ryou has been taken over by his dark side who is killing and destroying things, having less control then he had before and Yugi isn't around to stop him. And…"

"Me and you are actually getting along, that's changed…" he interrupted, and Jou thought about it for a second before smiling in acceptance. " We did what he asked us to do."

"Yeah…" Jou sighed, sitting down on Kaiba's bed. " We have…" He opened the top of Kaiba's bed and slid in under the covers, not bothering to ask Kaiba. He could feel the heavy angry gaze on the back of his neck. " I used to do this with Yugi…his room was too small, so we shared the bed. You need to get over the whole personal space issue…I am not getting my germs anywhere near you."

"I'm not Yugi…" Kaiba snapped, snatching the covers in his hands and curled up in them.

"I know."

They lay there for hours it seemed, dozing in and out of sleep, both on the opposite sides of the bed, when finally Seto spoke.

" It wasn't a mistake…sometime death is the only way to bind things together that were meant to be."

"Huh?" a sleepy Katsuya grumbled, waking up from his restful sleep.

"Nothing…go back to sleep." Kaiba whispered, and Jonouchi drifted off as if it was an order. Kaiba watched the smaller boy sleep, all his limbs are far away as possible from his body that was humanly possible, and he snored softly. Kaiba reached a shaking hand over to Jonouchi and ran his nails through the golden fluff of hair that lay on top of his head. He smiled, ruffling it affectionately and settled down back into sleep.

All the things you used to hold so dear

Will turn to whisper in your ear