Ranma and company belong to the brilliant Rumiko Takahashi, but the poor fare below is mine. C and C welcome.This is the last part of Rekindling. Here goes ...
Words in (italics) are thoughts. Entire paragraphs in italics are flashbacks.
REKINDLING A FLAME
by: Skywatch
EPILOGUE: WARMTH
Months passed before Akane realized they had a new ritual. More than one, actually.
The first usually started with a nice leisurely meal – lunch or dinner, depending on when they seemed to have more time. As they finished, one of them would stand up and offer to make tea, and that would be the signal. While they stirred their cups unhurriedly, the same person would bring up something in the most casual of tones. Just as laconically, the other would reply. Before they knew it, they would be deep in earnest conversation.
It didn't happen all the time. Sometimes a week would go by, which is why it took Akane awhile to figure it out. What surprised her was that Ranma started these impromptu talks about as often as she did. It wasn't always serious, but at times stuff came out that was ... intensely personal. Certainly Akane had found herself impulsively sharing a few things that she had never thought to tell anyone.
And they finally talked more about the vow.
"It was my last card, my way out if things got too hard," Ranma eventually explained. "Of course I knew you didn't want me to commit seppuku. You were pretty mad about it. But I couldn't let it go."
"But you were getting better." Akane fought hard to keep her tone even. The need to understand this was much greater than the urge to pick a fight and call him all sorts of names for even coming up with that heinous idea.
"It took me six months just to take a step," he reminded her. "That's a hundred eighty days of being stuck to a chair, of being carried everywhere, or falling off and crawling or ..." For a moment, the ghost of the despair she had heard before crept back into his voice. "Me, Akane, the guy who ran like the wind, who could leap over roofs and walls, who hated being weak."
"And when you were getting better?" she persisted.
Ranma stirred his tea. "There was a day in the dojo ..."
Akane colored and sipped her tea to cover it.
"We were doing a kata and I smashed a pile of bricks." He glanced at her. "You remember?"
Oh, that day. She cleared her throat and nodded.
"I felt ready to give it up then. I was about to mention it when Ryouga busted in. Then there was that whole challenge thing and afterwards everything happened too fast. But from that day on - heck, from the day I was really able to stand on my own and walk, I knew I wasn't going to ask you to go through with it."
There was a moment of quiet.
"Would've been nice to know it at the time," Akane declared evenly after a long, tense pause.
Ranma tugged at his pigtail. "Yeah, I know. I honestly thought you sensed how I felt. I'm sorry."
That was the day they started to put the past year behind them. Not that it was something they were going to forget, but from then on Akane knew that they would be looking forward more than back. They were going to live their lives again.
The second development, well, that wasn't so unexpected. After the classes that were now back to being taught jointly at the dojo, Ranma would nonchalantly invite her to spar. Then he'd try to beat her. Of course.
She had to hand it to him. He was getting better everyday. She still beat him but it was no longer easy; she had to watch out constantly. She knew that it was just a matter of time. Soon Ranma would see an opening and take it.
Akane grinned. She was actually looking forward to it. Not that she'd let him win, nor simply let him keep winning after that. When it came to martial arts, neither of them went easy on the other. Ranma had certainly never let her win when he had been her superior in the Art. Hold back enough to train her, eventually, yes. But win? No, that stuff had to be earned. Then it felt that much sweeter when you succeeded. Akane still remembered the rush she'd felt the first time she'd landed a blow on her surprised iinazuke. She wouldn't deny Ranma that feeling for anything.
As for the most recent, and definitely most confusing, ah ... ritual, she supposed you could call it, that had started a few nights ago.
They were still sleeping in different bedrooms, she in her old room while Ranma, for some reason, had moved to the guest room, where he used to stay with his dad. One Sunday night, about four months after she'd come back, Akane had drowsily announced that she was going to bed.
"Yeah, I guess I should, too," Ranma had said, getting up. He'd followed her up the stairs until they were standing outside her door.
Akane turned to say goodnight, and suddenly she became aware of how close to her Ranma was standing, how she could see the irises of his eyes, wide and stormy as they locked onto hers. Afterwards, she couldn't tell who moved first. She remembered raising her head, and Ranma sweeping down towards her.
She didn't know what to expect. Since the accident, the few encounters between her and Ranma tended to be sudden outbursts of pent-up feeling. If she had to guess, she supposed that this would be more of the same.
Instead it was like ... oh, a warm summer evening compared to an afternoon of thunderstorms. It was sweet and almost languorous, this meeting, the way their breaths mingled for an instant before their lips closed and nuzzled, went apart and unhurriedly joined again. As if they had all the time in the world. It felt like a first kiss, Akane realized, except it wasn't in the least bit awkward.
Then, just as she was considering moving things forward, Ranma slowly pulled away. "Good night, Akane," he said softly.
"Good night," she returned automatically, still a bit lightheaded. She stepped into her room, closed the door, and leaned against it for a moment.
(What in the blue bloody blazes was that!)
The kiss she could understand. As a matter of fact, considering how volatile Ranma and she were, Akane was surprised something like it hadn't happened sooner. But what was this "good night" stuff? Why did Ranma step away?
The next day brought no answers. Nor the one after that. By that time, Akane was thoroughly confused.
On each night, they would stop outside her door. Then the kisses would start, slow and tender.
But things were starting to escalate. Every night they found themselves going a bit further. On the fourth night, lips and tongues tangled, then trailed. There was a sensitive spot under Akane's ear that her husband re-discovered and laved with attention. There was a particularly responsive point at the hollow of Ranma's throat that his wife boldly probed until he groaned.
The next day, they met their visiting families in turtleneck sweaters. The Tendos and Saotomes were so happy to see them getting along that they got away with only one caustic remark from Nabiki and a knowing look from Kasumi, of all people.
On the fifth night, they didn't even make it upstairs. They were cuddled on the couch. The movie they had been watching had long since ended, and Ranma's hands were caressing his wife's arms through the thin sleeves of her pajamas. They pulled her closer until she could feel the warmth rising off of his body and the strong pulse of his heart underneath the cotton undershirt.
"Akane." He couldn't say anything beyond her name. He could so easily get lost in the way she felt against him, the scent of her hair as it swept against him, the soft firmness that was her and no other.
Akane, meantime, was reacquainting him with the slow burn of her touch, the particular way her fingers traced the lines of his body through his shirt. She felt Ranma shiver as she nibbled at his lower lip, then their lips were sliding together hungrily again.
Just at the point when they were starting to sink into the couch, she felt Ranma pause. Akane was sure he was on the verge of saying goodnight again.
She wanted to strangle him. Well, okay, maybe that wasn't exactly what she wanted, but it was getting to be a close second.
So she did the only thing she could. She beat him to it. "Wait." When they were both sitting up again, she asked outright, "Ranma, what's going on?"
They were making out like teenagers, which was funny considering that they had never really made out like this when they were teenagers. They had lived with her family then, forcibly engaged, with everybody's eyes on them. Making out would've meant instant marriage. Privately, Akane thought it the best antidote to teenage hormones ever invented.
For a second, she thought he would pretend that he didn't know what she meant. Then he sighed. "Want some tea?" He looked positively grim.
Worried now, she followed him into the kitchen. She sat at the table while Ranma efficiently and silently heated water and went about his preparations. He poured them each a cup when everything was ready, but remained standing, cradling the cup in his hands.
"Do you remember that day in the dojo?" For a second his hesitant words sounded like déjà vu, and Akane was confused, wondering what this had to do with the time he'd broken those bricks. Then she noticed the red tinge on his cheeks.
Oh, that day. Finally. Akane felt the heat rushing to her own cheeks. "I thought you'd forgotten about it," she admitted.
The look he threw her basically said she was crazy. He muttered her name and something about being a baka.
"Well, what was I supposed to think?" she huffed, suddenly annoyed. "You never mentioned it again. And your reaction at the time ... the way you looked at me, and then you said it was a mistake!"
"Because it was!" This time Ranma was facing her, and he saw the stricken expression on her face. "No, not like that! Akane," and his voice hushed, "if I live to be a hundred I'll never forget it. But what happened that day, I just ... I practically attacked you! I took you on the floor! I tore your -"
"Stop." Kami, the mental pictures! (If I blush anymore, my head will explode.) Akane momentarily buried her face in her hands. "Exactly what do you think happened that day, Ranma?"
He bent his head. "You didn't like it," he whispered.
"What!" she exclaimed. "Where did you get that idea?"
"You cried." His voice dropped until it was barely audible. "You woke up, and you cried."
Akane remembered. "Yes, but only after you ... you wouldn't talk, you didn't smile or say anything. We had just shared something and you- you shut down again." Too restive now to even pretend to be drinking tea, she got up. She walked up to the pigtailed martial artist, and took the cup from his nerveless hands. She was still blushing like crazy, but now it was because of what she was about to do. (I can't believe I'm going to say this.)
But it had to be said. "I'll be the first to admit I wouldn't want it to be like that all the time," she confessed shyly. "I like the way we take things ... slow." Her eyes closed, and this time there were other, older images.
Ranma, with his hair unbound, his hands and mouth determinedly moving over her even as his breathing grew ragged. Akane, her skin flushed all over as she teased and caressed and tempted. Long endless moments of getting to the brink and then backing off, just so they could build up to it again. Yes, they pushed themselves even in that, tested each other's control and endurance until one or the other or both finally, gloriously succumbed. Afterwards, they would lie exhausted in each other's arms and exchange rueful grins, each secure in the knowledge that only one person in their lives would ever witness this kind of abandon from them.
"But on that particular day ... Ranma, it felt right. I don't know how else to put it, but I don't regret it. Maybe one day, it'll feel right again." Akane tried to be as candid as possible, even if her face felt like it was going toimplode from a high wattage blush.
Ranma was silent for a moment, absorbing what she said. Then he simply opened his arms, and Akane went into their circle willingly. He embraced her and kissed the top of her head. "I'd like to re-learn slow," he asserted. "I'm not up to it yet but ... soon."
"Is that what this is about?"
He grinned. "It's training."
Akane nearly groaned. Why did she have to end up with a guy who applied the Art to practically everything in his life? She wondered how long she'd last. (He's going to be the death of me.)
Ranma cleared his throat. "I guess that just leaves one thing."
"Hmm?"
He swallowed. "I want to make it up to you."
She didn't understand. "It?"
"The vow."
Akane nearly choked. The warm fuzzy feeling evaporated. It was the last thing she wanted to dwell on right now. "Ranma, just let it go. You did things; I did things. We made our apologies. It's not like we can go back and set is straight."
"There is a way."
"How?"
Ranma had been thinking about this for awhile. It would be perfect – it would allow him to let go of his guilt, and it would make them even. He hesitated only because it was a scary thing … and because once he did it there would be no going back. He couldn't see her not accepting. "Make me promise, Akane. Blindly, like you did."
It took her a few seconds to answer, because, to her shame, Ranma's offer actually tempted her. As payback it would be perfect, but more importantly, it would anchor her, remove all her doubts about them once and for all. But why was that? She would take Ranma's word any day; she had faith in any promise he made. But what was the difference, she thought dazedly, between trusting Ranma's word and trusting Ranma himself?
She stepped away and looked at him. He wasn't looking at her. He kept his eyes averted and there was a tight, nervous cast to his face.
At that moment, Akane realized that she could read Ranma again, that he was no longer the mystery to her that he had been after the accident. And whether that was because she was no longer looking at him through the veil of the death-oath he had made her take, or because Ranma wasn't shutting himself off from her anymore, she couldn't really tell. Or maybe she was just imagining things.
"What kind of promise?" she asked, as if she were considering it.
He swallowed again. "Anything."
So she was right. It was fear, or at least, trepidation. He was offering to put himself completely in her hands, and he had no idea what she would do now. Akane realized that she hated it. From the beginning, she and Ranma had wanted nothing more than to be able to make their own choices. This past year, they had done so many things because they were forced to. For the first time in months, her words seethed with pure anger. "Don't ever ask me to do this again."
His gaze leveled with hers. "Akane?" There was a wondering tone in his voice.
Suddenly she was the one who couldn't face him. She whirled around towards the open shoji. She crossed her arms and stared out, not really seeing the pond and the yard, her gaze focused inward. "Don't tempt me!" she said harshly. Again, she regretted the loss of the person she used to be. That girl wouldn't have thought twice and refused outright.
It was as if a heavy burden had lifted off of Ranma. (I'm never going to understand her.) And that was just fine. He had honestly thought she couldn't turn this down. Surely the girl he'd met when he was sixteen wouldn't have. But then, he wouldn't have let that girl have this kind of sway over him. This woman before him now, though. He trusted her so much that he could dare this and had, without much qualm.
Ranma came up behind his wife and hesitantly encircled her in his arms. "Hey," he started, before he realized she was trembling. "Akane?" His voice was full of concern. "It was a dumb idea, wasn't it?"
"No, I –" She was beginning to realize that he wouldn't have offered this kind of thing lightly, not Ranma. Not anyone she knew, for that matter. "I understand why, it's just that ..." How to explain it, and not make him feel more guilty than he alreadyobviously was? Because of him, she had lived for almost a year under a vow that had been forced on her. She actually knew what it was like. It had done things to her, changed her in ways she was still trying to deal with. She didn't want that for him. The accident had done enough. She sighed. "Make your own promises, okay? Make them because you want to."
She meant that he should one day, when he was ready. She was surprised when he said, "Alright." .
He began softly. "I promise, Akane, that I will never give up on us again. So long as you want me, I'll be here. And if one day we decide, well ... for as long as the need me, our kids will have their father." It was, he guessed, more or less what she would've made him promise if she'd taken up his offer. Only now that he'd made it, he realized that he wanted to make this kind of commitment. He wanted to be there for her. In the past year, she had gotten this look in her eyes that said she was uncertain of him, of them, and he wanted to get rid of it once and for all. He was Akane's. It was high time he let her know that. It was that simple.
His words left her speechless for awhile. Then, in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "Ranma, do you ... want to have children?"
Oh kami. (A child. Mine and Akane's.) Just the thought of it filled him with a strange sense of exhilaration. "Yes," he answered, and there was plainly awe in his voice at the thought. "Just uh, not right away?" he added, hoping she wouldn't take offense. He wanted things more settled between them first.
He felt her nod. Ranma sighed in relief. "Are we ... alright now, Akane?" he couldn't resist asking. "You're staying?"
"Ranma." She turned in his arms, and she felt him relax as she placed her own arms around him. After his promise, she had no qualms about telling him the absolute truth. "I don't think I can leave you." She was his, had been for a long time now, and it was time to let him know.
He hugged her tighter. "Guess you always knew we were going to be okay, huh?" he teased.
She shook her head. "No, I didn't." She took a deep breath. "I was serious about the musha-shugyo, Ranma. The day I left, I got a one-way ticket to Osaka."
For a moment, he was speechless. Then, casual-like, he replied, "Oh well we gotta have that changed. Ticket for two, round trip. Somewhere relaxing this time."
"Where? The beach?" she laughed at the preposterous idea, but there were tears in her eyes.
"Are you kidding? I was thinking more along the lines of hot springs. There's this place I heard about, it's supposed to be therapeutic but Tofu says its a romantic place, too. I thought, y'know, since we didn't properly celebrate our anniversary ..."
"I'd like that." Suddenly it all washed over her and it was too much. She sobbed, holding him to her as tightly as she could, feeling the strong familiar beat of his heart under her cheek. "Oh God, Ranma, I'm sorry. What I put you through!"
"What we both put ourselves through," he corrected gruffly. "I'm sorry, too, Akane. And well, if on this trip you want to talk more about, um, children -"
She heard something else in his voice, a tremor that hadn't been there before. Suspicious, she tipped her head up to look at him. Akane raised her hand to his wet cheek, and kissed him.
This time she was sure. Things were going to be okay.
And here it ends. This took much longer than I thought it would. My thanks to the people who read and reviewed Rekindling. Couldn't have done it without your encouragement, and this is a much better story because of yourcomments and critique. I'd especially like to thank the readers who stuck with the story from the beginning (Cat, I hope the epilogue answers some of your questions – I think yours was the longest review I've ever had and it looks like you didn't even finish), and those who posted beyond 150 reviews. As to those who got teary-eyed or who actually cried while reading Rekindling ... actually, I'm so touched I don't know what to say, beyond "thank you."
You know, I honestly had my doubts that the reviews would reach 150. At the least I was expecting that it would take a good long time. Thank you for proving me wrong. As promised, here's the epilogue. It's a bit rough and long for an epilogue, but somehow I didn't think you'd mind.
For those who think Ranma & Akane are acting OOC, please remember that this is years into the future. Oh, and the fact that Ranma beat Ryouga in "Conflagration" but still loses to Akane here does not mean that Akane is better than Ryouga. Ranma improvised a lot to defeat Ryouga. He's not going to go to the same lengths with Akane, since these are just sparring sessions. Also, Ranma and Akane are using these straight-up fights to gauge Ranma's progress.
That's all, folks! If you would, please review. Reviews really make my day. :)
Rough translation of Japanese words used in this fic:
Baka - fool, idiot, and the like. Term Akane uses to insult Ranma
Baka yaro - roughly, "you jerk/fool!"
Kaishoku- the "second" in traditional seppuku. His/her job was to cut off the samurai's head before the latter "dishonored" himself by showing too much pain
Kimi - you (used by a husband to his wife)
Kuso - a swear word; roughly equivalent to "shit"
"Ittai koko wa doko da!" - "Where on earth am I now!" Ryouga's cry when he's lost and frustrated about it.
Musha-shugyo - training journey
Otousan - Father
Oyaji - a less respectful way of saying father; usually translated as "Pop" in the anime
Shimatta - "Damn it!"
Shoji - sliding doors, like the one at the Tendo dojo
Yamero! - "Enough!" or "Stop (it)!"