Life After Eva

The previous revision of Life After Eva was started while I was deployed in Afghanistan in 2004. 10 years later, and my life has changed quite a bit. I received a favorite notification for this story in my email, and came to take a look at it (it has gotten kind of dusty in the writing room in my head). I enjoyed writing all of these stories (some are better than others, but such is the learning process) but I think this one was my favorite. I wrote it at a time when I felt cut off from the world I knew and I tried extending that to the story.

DAY 1

"I feel sick."

Shinji let his hands slide off of the girl's neck, and leaned on them, letting sand creep through his fingers. Asuka just stared at him, waiting for him to finish. The boy cried as he slowly came to grips with the situation he was in. Alone, save for the only person who really knew him at all, and witness to the end of life, as it was known on Earth. The yellow waves washed up against the white sand and retreated back into the sea, the gentle suffing sound was the only noise.

He rolled off of her, and lay with his back to her. She lay there watching the sky, wondering at the bewildering turn that things had taken. A day before she had battled and beaten nine Eva Mass Production Model combat units by herself. Triumphant exuberation, leading very quickly to fear, despair, agony, darkness. Today she was lying on the beach, her arm nearly split open, her left eye injured, and "saved" by Shinji once again.

She hated him.

She had been ready for her death after she had fallen to those ugly-faced MP-Evas. She would have welcomed it. She had remembered being a part of hundreds, thousands, millions of others, knowing their thoughts, feeling what they felt. She unconsciously flexed her hands into fists, and fire ran up the inside of her left arm. Gasping at the pain, she let it hurt. Pain was at least a proof that you were still alive. And what did not kill you ... Did it really make you stronger? That had yet to be seen.

She closed her eyes, and listened to the waves. Surprisingly, her arm stopped hurting again in the next few minutes, and she drifted to sleep. In her dreams she relived the Third Impact again. It was in a way beautiful, as well as horrible, yet it was also peaceful at the same time. But she was still terrified. The savage reaping of human lives and screams (Where they screams? Or laughter? Or cheering?) as bodies lost cohesion and souls were drawn to the colossal figure that rose from the Earth. The veritable ocean of blood that sprayed from the neck of the person she had known as Rei.

Later on, she awoke again. Shinji was gone from her side. In his place was a stack of wood. Night was falling, and it was starting to get chilly. Grunting she rolled onto her side, and used her good arm to unsteadily prop herself up. It was then that she saw Shinji making his way towards her, carrying a box, and wearing a heavy looking hiking backpack. As he drew closer she saw that he was looking pale, sweating, and breathing heavily. Setting his things down, he looked over at her, and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I didn't mean to leave you alone, Asuka. I just… went to get some things to help us make it through tonight." He turned away so that he would not have to look at her scowl at him. She still had not said anything to him but those three words. He busied himself with starting the fire ignoring his feelings of hurt and anguish, and set up two small tents. He also pulled out a couple of sleeping bags, some packages of what looked like food of some kind, some clean clothes for both he and Asuka, and some medical supplies.

As darkness set in, the moon's pale light illuminated the area around them in a soft blue cast. The new red streak splashed tightly across the sky shown brightly in contrast to the normal sky's deep blue background, illuminating the light terrain around them. Surrounding the moon was also a small halo of red where blood had splashed with enough force to be ejected back off the surface. The light from the fire cast streaky shadows along the sand.

Shinji dug into the box with the food in it, and produced some store bought fish. Undoubtedly the power had gone off not too long ago and the freezers were still able to hold some of the heat out. He placed the fillets on a spit and directed them over the fire. He took some large potatoes and wrapped them in foil, and put them in the fire. He also produced a canteen cup and poured some water in it, and set it just inside the fire to boil.

Asuka was amazed at this. She couldn't believe that Shinji knew anything about camping. Of course she supposed that when it really came down to it, it was simple common sense and improvising. Adapt, improvise and overcome. She sat and watched the fire, moving a little closer to collect some of the heat. While the food was cooking, he broke out some of the medical supplies and slowly moved closer to her. As he neared she drew away sharply.

"I have to look at those, Asuka." Shinji said, pointing to Asuka's arm and the wounds on it. "We need to make sure they heal properly." He watched her frown, and she eyed him for a moment. He just looked at her, waiting for her to allow him to treat her.

"It better not hurt much, or I'm gonna clobber you." She glared at him unconvincingly. Secretly, even to herself, she was grateful for the help, for all that he had done so far, but she could never allow Shinji to know that.

Shinji carefully unwrapped her arm, and inspected the wound running down its length. A deep gash extended along the outside length of her arm. The bandages had been doing a good job of holding it together, but if it was going to heal properly, it would need some stitches. Until he could get some anesthetic, a needle and some sutures, the bandages would have to do. Taking a cloth, and pouring some clean water on it, he wiped away the caked blood and clot. Then with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, he doused the entire length of the wound, and let it foam, wiping away the excess when it was done. Asuka tensed at this; the burning sensation was very sudden and intense. Next he put some antibiotic ointment on, and re-wrapped the wound with bandage after applying a thick gauze strip directly over the wound.

Next he treated the eye wound. Shinji hoped that it was not really bad. Especially something that would leave her without the use of that eye. He had always liked her eyes, not that he would ever tell her that. She definitely would clobber him for sure for saying it.

Carefully removing the pad and tape, he saw that the wound was not directly to the eyeball, but more to the bottom of the eye socket. Directly under the eye the skin had been pierced. So long as the bone had not been broken, the lining of the eye socket torn or the optic nerve damaged it would be OK. It did not look too serious but he figured it would be best to leave the area covered for the time being, so he cleaned and dressed it again, then re-taped it. Asuka flinched several times and even lifted her arm to take a swing at Shinji, but she held off knowing he was just doing this to help her. So she bore the pain some more as he finished treating her.

By this time the water was boiling, and the fish and potato was just about done. Carefully pulling the water off, Shinji produced a box of instant rice. He had wished that he could have found some of the good stuff, not the name brand rice, but it would do. Dumping it into the water, he turned his attention to the other food. He set the fish on a rock, and unwrapped the potatoes to let them cool off.

As the meat and potatoes cooled, and the former Third Child strained the rice out of the water. He put the food on two paper plates and handed Asuka hers. They ate in silence. Shinji was thankful for that. He needed time to think some things over. They both did. What would happen now? What was their purpose now?

Asuka finished first, and sat back against a large piece of driftwood that Shinji had hauled close to the fire. "Shinji?"

"Mmph?" His voice muffled through his food.

"Why did you bring me back here?" She gave him a flat stare.

"What do you mean Asuka? I didn't really..." She cut him off.

"You brought me back here!" She said accusingly. "You brought me back to this... this life, this world!" she said disgustedly. She paused, then sighed shaking her head. "I was ready to die Shinji, and you took it from me!" Tears welled in her eyes, and threatened to run down her cheeks, but she wiped them away with the back of her good hand, and looked angrily at Shinji.

"But, Asuka. I didn't do anything to bring you back. I was as surprised to see you as you were when I woke up. You were not supposed to be there. I just wanted a world where no one would hurt me. And I was willing to be alone if that was what it took."

"Well how the hell do you explain the fact that I am here? Hmm?" Asuka was yelling now. "You can bet that I will hurt you sooner or later." She glared at him. "And don't you even say that it is because of my strength of will or something equally stupid! I am no more or less deserving than anyone else in the world. How do you explain it?" She let the question hang, waiting for an answer.

Shinji thought about it for a while, then remembered … 'mother'. He looked up intently and spoke. "Eva protected you."

That set her back. "Eva? Momma? Protected me even then?"

At the mention of her mother, Shinji perked up. There was a connection between her mother and Eva … just like him? He had only known pieces of her past. From what he knew her mother had worked on the Eva project in Germany. She had died somehow when Asuka was very young. Asuka did not talk about her much. He could understand how it was a sensitive subject.

Shinji drew his knees up and laid his head on them watching the waves. They were both quiet for half an hour, when Shinji broke the silence. Softly he spoke, haltingly at first, then gradually with more conviction. "My mother was in Eva. I think that is the only reason I survived. I know it's the only reason I survived. She killed several Angels for me. And I think… I think she even brought me back once. I remember almost feeling something… familiar… when I was in the entry plug."

Asuka could see only part of his face in the firelight, and she saw that he was crying quiet tears. Shinji was quiet again now, but she could see that he still had something he wanted to say.

"I saw her die, Asuka. I remembered it a while back. I was in the control room above Unit 01's cage, and she was standing on the catwalk wearing a solid white plug suit. For a long time I had no real memories of her. I couldn't remember what she looked like, but I remember this. She was beautiful. She waved at me, and she was smiling." He took a shuddering breath. "They had an entry plug kind of like ours that she got into, then it was loaded into Unit 01. And then everything was red and there were sirens going off and people shouting and running everywhere. And she was gone. But she was smiling. And she was with me. With me the whole time. She was in Eva."

Asuka eyed Shinji, absorbing this news. He had never really had the chance to come to grips with his past because he did not know it himself, nor how to deal with it.

Shinji sat back, and sighed, thinking things over. "You know when I was… gone for a month?" He sipped at his water. "Ritsuko debriefed me after that, and explained some of the background behind the A.T. Field.

"I had never really known what it stood for. I had never even bothered to ask. But according to her, A.T. stands for Absolute Terror. The term is taken from psychology, and it is a theory that certain traumatic events can cause someone to block out all or part of that event as they choose, because it is so terrible. It is as though it never existed. In the Evas case, it refers to an energy field that living beings give off. She only explained about humans, Angels, and Evas. So I don't know if it is something animals and plants and other living things have. Anyhow, she said that we produce these fields, and that basically it was like a force field for humans that separates our minds from others, and holds our body's cohesion together. For Angels and for Evas when they are piloted, it not only does that but it can be used as a protective shield and a weapon."

Asuka listened, never having delved into the ideas behind it this way, though her University schooling was beginning to help her understand.

"Evas are like an empty body that has no mind or soul, so the pilot has to share their mind with it, which means that when synching with the Eva, part of your own AT Field is borrowed by the Eva. That allows you to feel it's feelings, and you control it using your thought. Ritsuko's mother had notes about that stuff. They hinted that somehow my mothers AT Field had totally eroded, and so her body had dissolved allowing her mind to occupy the Eva's core. I don't know exactly what that means. She never took complete control over it. I mean she could have spoken through it or something, right? She could have moved it around or something. I didn't catch everything that Ritsuko explained to me. And I am sure she didn't tell me everything either." Shinji let it end with that. He had spoken to Asuka more tonight than he had in any one sitting before.

Asuka looked at him with an uncertain look on her face. "Well maybe that would account for my being here. But the next question is what do we do now? So here we are? But why, and for what purpose?"

"I don't know. Right now I don't know what to think. I just want to rest and regroup what is left of me." He eyed the tent that he had decided was his.

She saw where he was looking. "Goodnight Shinji." She almost sounded nice. "Don't even think about coming over to my tent, you perv." In the blink of an eye her tone changed, and now she was the "Old Asuka" once more. Shinji inwardly smiled. He was glad to see her back, even for a few minutes.

With some difficulty she stood, and refusing Shinji's help, she walked to her tent, and climbed in, letting out a grunt of pain. After zipping up the door, Shinji heard some rustling, and realizing that she was taking the remnants of her plug suit off. He blushed imagining her there.

"Asuka? There is some soap in there, if you want to go bathe, there's a public bath still intact down that way, but it has cold water. I … I promise I won't peek or anything. It's just so you don't have to be caked in old LCL."

There was no response so he picked up the leftovers. Dumped the rest of the boiled water out, and cleaned the place up as the fire died down. He scooped the embers all together, and put a couple of logs on it, then went to his tent as well. He lay awake for quite some time mulling over everything. The feeling of loss was overwhelming. In one day he had lost Misato, his father, the people he knew at NERV, and all of his friends, everyone he would never know, everyone except Asuka. But, while they were not actually with him, he knew that they were out there somewhere. Heaven he supposed. He guessed that was what the whole Eva thing was all about.

Outside he heard the zipper on Asuka's tent door, and for just a moment, he thought she would come over to his tent and tease him or make fun of him. When she never came, he relaxed, comfortable in the knowledge that she had taken the chance to bathe. As the blush crept back in, he smiled, yawned and rolled over to try and sleep. After a while, Asuka padded back past his tent, and entered hers, and after some more thought provoking rustling...

"Shinji! How the hell did you know my bra size!?" He should have thought this was going to happen.

Shinji almost choked. "Asuka, I have been doing your laundry since you moved in to our apartment."

"Oh … Well you still are a perverted little boy." She sounded almost like she was smiling when she said it. With that he shook his head and finally fell asleep...