Title: A Lesson In Love
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None.
Notes: It might seem iffy, but read it all the way through and it'll make sense. I promise.
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The oven-timer dings and I stand from my place on the couch and head to the kitchen, stopping momentarily at the bottom of the stairs to request the presence of my dinner companion.
"C'mon Squirt! Pizza's ready, don't make me eat it all without you!"
A loud thump can be heard through the floor above my head and I know that she's jumped from her bed and is running down the hall. Soon enough, I hear a response.
"Coming! You can't eat a whole pizza by yourself, anyway."
Her tiny figure appears, bounding down the stairwell, and I watch as her soft brown curls bounce around her baby-smooth face. She looks just like her father.
Well, almost.
Her nose isn't paternal, lucky for her. And her eyes have a sparkle in them that can only be attributed to her mother.
We take our places around the kitchen table and I set a slice of cheese pizza on her plate, making sure she puts her napkin in her lap before even attempting to take a bite of the greasy mess.
"So, how was school today, Luce?"
The 7-year-old cherub sitting across from me just looks up and smiles, mouth full of pizza.
"What'd you do, then?"
She takes a sip of her milk and sighs.
This is Lucy-drama. She can never just tell a story. She has to tell a story. She has to make sure that it's taken with complete seriousness and understood for all of the value that it has to her life.
Even if she's just telling you about the color of the pen she decided to use to write her ABCs in class that day. It's important, that pen color. She always has an exaggerated reason.
This kid is something else.
So I watch her intently, excited to see what tonight's daily re-telling holds in store for me.
"Well," she begins boldly. "Mrs. Morgan brought her new baby into class today. And her husband came with her. She told us all about what it's like to have a new baby, and how our mommy's and daddy's used to hold us and look at us the way she was staring at that baby."
I smile, remembering a time when Lucy was just an infant and all we could do was stare at her.
"I don't know why she was staring at it, though," she continues. "The thing just screamed and cried the whole time she had it in there. Not like we learned anything today, with that crying baby in first grade instead of baby grade where it belongs."
Laughing, I reach over to take a sip of my water and ask, "You don't like babies, Luce?"
"I don't know. I'm sure I'll like our new baby, once it finally gets here. That one today just cried too much. It was better once Mrs. Morgan took it out into the hall to show the other teachers. Then we got to talk to the baby's daddy."
The look on her face tells me that this is actually the part of her day that she found most interesting, and that she's itching to fill me in about what was discussed. I raise my eyebrows at her and she continues.
"I asked him if Mrs. Morgan was his first true love. This morning during Imagination Hour, me and Kate and Jess were talking about true loves. Like in The Lion King, how Simba and Nala are true loves. Jess says that Jacob Hunter is her true love. But I think she doesn't even know what true love is. So I asked Mrs. Morgan's husband who his true love was."
The child never ceases to amaze me. She's completely audacious and open, never shy to speak her mind. She has so much of her mother in her. So much of her namesake in her, from what I'm told.
I stare at her momentarily, again taken by her youthful beauty. Such a precious child, too smart and extroverted for her age. Trying to grow up much too soon.
John tries to keep her young and on her toes, but this Carter child will have none of it. She wants to be sophisticated and grown, a true treasure to the Carter Family fortune.
Not that she has any idea that a fortune awaits her inheritance. All she knows is that she gets to dress up every month and go to big fancy parties with her parents. Those parties, however, have caused this young one to sprout an intellect beyond her age and an etiquette that most children of her age-group are lacking.
It drives her mother crazy, this insistence upon being lady-like and well-mannered. She never intended to raise another snobbish Carter heir.
Not that our Lucy is a snob. She's a joy to be around. Playful, funny, incredibly talented. But you put her into a party dress and you're suddenly in the presence of a true Carter - Eleanor's bloodline running right through her. It's slightly disturbing at times, as cute as it may be.
We love her anyway, though. How can you not? She's the most adorable child in the universe, inside and out. Her personality just shines.
I realize I've been staring at her for over a full minute, so I go back to my pizza and smile to myself.
Apparently, however, the mind of Lucy Carter is not yet satisfied for the evening.
"Aunt Susan?" she asks as she reaches for her milk again.
"Yeah Squirt?"
"Was my mommy daddy's first true love?"
She looks at me, eyes wide, and I find myself thinking back to a time - years ago - when John Carter's first true love was a part of our daily lives. I smile slightly at the memory before responding.
"Ya know what, Squirt? She wasn't. Before your daddy married your mommy, he was in true love with someone completely different from your mommy."
Her face looks slightly confused, and I can tell that this wasn't the answer she was hoping for.
"He was? What was her name?"
A smile sneaks across my face as I begin to respond, and my mind is flooded with memories of the girl that we all once knew.
"Abby Lockhart."
"What made her daddy's first true love?"
I think back and let the memories waft through my mind, remembering a time when it was just the three of us - Me, John and Abby. The two of them, always together. Me, always mediating and helping them to see the sunshine after the rain that always managed to fall around them. There were so many great things about Abby Lockhart. She was an amazing friend to me. We had a lot of good times. And John loved her. He loved her so much.
But things are different now. He's married, and not to Abby Lockhart. He has a beautiful daughter and a baby on the way. And he's more in love now than he ever was with Abby Lockhart. I'm happier without her, now, too. Things have changed, and definitely for the better.
"Well, Squirt, she was your daddy's best friend. They helped each other through a lot of problems, and they were always there for one another when they needed help. She made your daddy feel good. She loved him very much, and he loved her, too."
The look of confusion has grown.
"Then why didn't he marry her instead of my mommy? Aren't you supposed to marry your true love?"
"Luce, your daddy loved Abby Lockhart very much. But she made him cry a lot. And he made her cry. She had a lot of things in her heart that made her hurt inside, and that made it really hard for your daddy to get close to her and love her forever. He needed her to find out who she really was, what she really wanted out of life. And Abby Lockhart - as much as your daddy and I both loved her - was just lost and confused. She didn't feel like she was strong enough to make your daddy happy forever."
"And my mommy is different from her, right? That's why daddy married her?"
"Your daddy would have married Abby Lockhart if she would have let him. But she didn't want him to. She wanted him to marry someone more in control of her life, someone who could feel secure enough to give him everything that he deserved."
"That was my mommy, right?"
"Yep. See, one day your daddy looked at your mommy and he saw someone completely different from Abby Lockhart. Your mommy doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke those nasty cigarettes…she tells your daddy that she loves him everyday, without hesitation. And she never wonders why your daddy loves her. That was something Abby Lockhart could never do."
"Does daddy miss her?"
I think about this for a few moments before responding, a smile playing on my lips.
"I don't think so. He loves your mommy very, very much. And all the best parts about Abby Lockhart - all the parts that he loved more than anything - are in your mommy, too."
At this moment, the front door opens and I hear John's voice calling out to us.
"Susan? Luce? We're home…"
Lucy jumps from her seat and takes off toward the entry way, leaping into her father's arms.
"Daddy! Did you have a good vacation? What'd you bring me?"
John laughs and hugs her tightly, then smiles at me as he sees me enter the hallway.
"We had a great time, Squirt. And if you go outside and help your mom with some of the bags, I think she has a present hidden in there for you somewhere."
He quickly places his daughter back on her feet and watches as she bounds out the front door and into the driveway where the SUV is parked, all doors open widely.
"So it was good, then?," I start, taking the bag from his shoulder and placing it at the bottom of the stairs.
"It was amazing. Best anniversary we've ever had."
"Ten years," I sigh. "I still can't believe you've been married for ten whole years."
"It's pretty amazing, isn't it? Guess I really picked the right wife, huh?"
"Ya know, your daughter was just asking me about that…"
He gives me a questioning look, but before I can continue, Lucy comes running back into the house with a an armload of souvenirs, followed by her mother, and heads straight up to her room.
"John," she says slowly, eyeing me with suspicion. "Your daughter just asked me who Abby Lockhart was…and how come you married me instead of her."
Now Carter's looking at me with the same questioning glare, and I can't hold back the laugh.
"What?!? She asked who your first true love was, so I told her."
"So you told her my first true love was Abby Lockhart, but I married someone else entirely?"
She's placing more bags at the foot of the stairs, listening intently as I think of my response.
"Well, you did, didn't you? I think so…this," I say, pointing toward his wife, "is not Abby Lockhart. She's someone completely different, except for all the little quirks and spontaneous humor that made us love her in the first place."
She walks over to Carter and winks at him, smiling a little before looking back at me.
"I suppose I have changed a lot over the past twelve years, huh? I certainly was a different person by the time you married me, right, babe?"
He turns her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her so that her back is against his chest. His head resting on her shoulder, he gently places his hands directly on top of her slightly-protruding stomach. Another child awaits them in 4 months time.
I smile as I watch him lean in and kiss her cheek, then look back toward me and sigh.
"I guess you're right, Sus. Abby Lockhart is a girl from another time. Can't really say that I miss her, honestly."
She spins around in his arms and smacks him lovingly on the chest. "What? You better watch it…"
"No, it's just…I definitely think I like Abby Carter a lot more."
"Me too," I chime in before heading up the stairs to check on Lucy. I stop mid-way and turn back around. "Abby Carter's much less dramatic, at least."
This garners me a warning glare from my best friend and I simply smile at her before finishing my trek up the stairs to check on their beautiful daughter.
Abby's changed so much in the past twelve years. In the two years before she and Carter married, she changed completely. And she did it for herself. For her love of him. She's a better person for it. Abby Lockhart was a great girl - I'll never forget the good times we had or the way she always made Carter smile.
But this Abby - she's still the same girl on the inside, but she's stronger now. Better.
Abby Lockhart may have been John's first true love, but I think we all agree that Abby was a different person by the time she married him.
I peek into Lucy's room and see her sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with all the gifts that she received from her parents.
"Hey Luce," I whisper as I enter the room and pick her up into my arms. "What do you say we go downstairs and get your mommy and daddy to tell you the rest of that story?"
"You mean about how mommy became his true love instead of that other lady?" she scoffs as she looks at me with disgust.
I can't help but laugh at her reaction. If she only knew…
"Yep. That's exactly what I mean. Maybe they'll even tell you how you got your name…"
Carrying her down the stairs and back into the living room, we find John and Abby curled up on the couch, staring into each other's eyes and gently caressing her belly. They're perfect together. I knew it all along.
Lucy wriggles from my grasp and runs to the couch, plopping herself directly in between her parents. John grabs her and covers her with kisses, tickling her while she laughs in protest. Abby looks on, happier than I've seen her in a long time. I sit on the arm of the couch and smile at my friends.
Once the tickling and the kissing has ceased, Lucy looks to her mother and smiles.
"What?" Abby asks her quietly, expecting that her daughter has a secret.
"Mommy…are you Abby Lockhart?"
Abby throws her head back and laughs, wrapping her arms around her daughter and pulling her into a tight hug. John glances toward me and smiles, running his fingers through his daughter's bouncy curls.
Can't get anything past Lucy Carter.
I told you this kid was smart.
"Yeah, baby," Abby responds. "I am. That's who I used to be, anyway."
"But you're not her anymore?"
"Not really, no." She shakes her head slightly as if contemplating how to best explain the situation to a 7-year-old.
"Then how can you be daddy's true love, if you're not the girl he was true loves with first?"
Lucy is highly confused at this point, and I reach my arms out to her. She crawls across the couch and sits upon my lap, giving John and Abby the room they need to snuggle a little closer whilst they retell the history of their romance.
"Luce…a long time ago, my name was Abby Lockhart. I loved your daddy so much back then, all I wanted to do was be with him forever. But I wasn't happy with myself. I was happy with daddy, but I couldn't understand why he was happy with me."
John burrows his face into the crook of her neck and listens intently. She smiles at his actions, knowing that this is his silent way of reassuring her that he is now and always has been happy with her.
"I wanted daddy to have someone to love that was worth loving. Someone who wouldn't make him so sad, wouldn't make him cry as much as I did. But at the same time, I didn't want to let him go. So I decided to stop being Abby Lockhart - stop being the cynical, scared little girl that couldn't believe daddy when he told me how much he loved me."
"Your mommy was quite the stubborn drama queen back then, Luce," I add. "Not unlike a certain little girl I know now…"
Lucy turns and gives me a look of mock-pain. "Hey! Be nice, Aunt Susan!"
Pulling her closer to my chest, we both turn our attention back to the couple on the couch.
"So I started living my life," she continues slowly, "as Abby Carter. Just…living my life as the woman that I wanted to be when I finally married daddy. I didn't tell daddy that I was doing it, because I knew that it was really weird. But I had to get used to the idea of it, before I could see myself the way that daddy saw me. And I wanted to be everything I could be for him."
She turns and brings her face to his, staring lovingly into his eyes. He places his hand back on her stomach and whispers.
"You were. You are."
I lean toward Lucy and whisper jokingly in her ear. "Mommy and daddy are gross, aren't they? You sure you want a true love, Luce?"
She giggles in response but keeps her eyes on her parents. John kisses his wife softly on the lips before looking back to me and his daughter on the end of the couch.
"You see, baby," he starts, "I asked Abby Lockhart to marry me one night, and she told me that she wasn't ready. That I didn't want her, I needed someone better."
"Did you cry, daddy?"
"Yeah, baby. It hurt a lot."
I notice the tears forming in Abby's eyes as she remembers that moment of their past. She's never truly forgiven herself for the pain she caused him over that time period, no matter how good the end-result turned out to be.
"But one day your mommy walked up to me after being gone for three months, and she smiled and said that if I still wanted a wife, her name was Abby Carter. And two years later we got married."
Lucy glances up toward me and smiles a little, a look of slight confusion still in her eyes.
"So then who's his real true love, Aunt Susan? Which Abby was it?"
I smile brightly and wrap my god-daughter in my arms even tighter.
"Aw, Luce, you're something else. You know that?"
She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear impatiently, never giving up.
"Which one, then? Who was his real true love?"
I glance at the couple on the couch and turn back to Lucy, grabbing her face gently and pointing it in the direction of her parents.
"That answer your question, Luce?"
She smiles and nods enthusiastically.
Carter and Abby are lying in each other's arms, foreheads touching. Her left hand is softly caressing his cheek as he continues his now-routine motion across her stomach. The love they have for one another is something that no one could debate.
John kisses her one more time and then turns his gaze back to Lucy.
"No matter what her name is, baby, your mom always was and always will be my first true love. Okay?"
"Okay," she replies happily, climbing off my lap and squeezing herself back between her parents.
"I'm gonna get out of here," I state as I stand from my spot and head to the door. "I have an early shift tomorrow."
"Okay. Thanks for everything, Susan. Really."
Abby gives me a smile and tells me she'll call me later.
As I grab my bags and put my hand on the doorknob, I turn and take one last look at the family on the sofa. Lucy sits on John's chest, her hands pressed against Abby's belly and trying to feel the baby kick. The couple stare at their daughter, and then back at one another.
Ten years of marriage, two children, and more heartaches than any two people deserve to go through. And still, here they are. Happier than I've ever seen them.
Now, that's true love.
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Fin.