(The following is a work of fanfiction and love. Fire Emblem Awakening and all related terminology remain property of Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. Please don't sue me.)

WARNING: The following story will eventually contain gratuitous foul language, coarse humor and vivid scenes of gore and other stuff that may make people uncomfortable. And possibly lemony stuff. You have been warned.

STOP! This is a continuation of the story Metallover's Self Insert Adventure, following from Book 1: The Insertening and Book 2: The Redux. If you haven't read those two first, this one isn't going to make a whole lot of sense to you and what are you even doing here?

Metallover's Self Insert Adventure Book 3: Blunt Force Trauma

Chapter the First, or "It Had to Happen Eventually"

My breath misted in front of my face as I trudged through the early spring forest surrounding Baham. It had still been snowing last night, so the fresh fallen powder crunched beneath my boots as I made the trek back to my holdings, a line of soldiers from the newly minted Royal Second Regiment shuffling along at my back.

Apparently, it could snow well into April this far north. Something about the elevation being higher than Ylisstol's. Funny enough, it didn't bother me. As I'm sure I've said before, this was the climate I was built for. That, coupled with the thick winter tunics that we were all wearing under our armor, and the cloaks we wore over top, I was feeling pretty good.

It was nice, walking through the forest like this. Detached. Peaceful. The forest during winter had a weird way of feeling like a world all its own, separate from civilization and the problems inherit therein.

All too soon, though, the trees began to thin and the weak sunlight began to shine brighter, until we emerged from the forest overlooking the city of Baham.

Ylisse's Jewel of the North, the city of Baham was built around an ancient keep that had seen service before the construction of the Longfort. The region was primarily sustained by logging and some sparse mining, nestled between the coast to the east and the region of Fruford to the west. North was the aforementioned Longfort, the gateway to the neighboring nation of Regna Ferox, and south was… was, uh…

Huh. I didn't actually know the name of the territory south of Baham.

Severa was right, I was a crappy Duke.

Whatever. Not knowing their name just meant they hadn't managed to piss me off yet.

Yup. You heard right. I was the Duke of the Territory of Baham. After stopping a minor civil war without Chrom's permission, I'd been 'rewarded' with stewardship of this region. Of course, with some careful political finagling, I was Duke in name only and the previous Duke, a grouchy old soldier named Helman who had earned the title himself during the first war with Plegia, still served as the main administrator. Which left me with ample amounts of time to torture- I mean 'train' the recruits for the Ylissean Second.

And by god, I was putting them through their paces.

By this point, Valm were poised to invade any day now. I was pretty much just waiting to hear that they had landed in Port Ferox. Which meant that the paltry seven hundred men I had managed to train to some level of competency needed to be ready in half the time that I'd spent with the Ylissean First. Drop-out rates had been high, but only for the first month. While not quite at the same level as the First Regiment back in Ylisstol, the Royal Second were already leagues ahead of the conscripts that the other duchies tended to field.

As we approached the outer walls of Baham a soft chorus of relieved groans and sighs came from the men behind me, and I had to resist the urge to smirk. Instead, I glared over my shoulder at them.

"Put a lid on it, you maggots!" I barked. "We aren't home yet! If even one man breaks formation before we reach the barracks, I'll have you running laps around the city until sundown tomorrow! Do you get me!?"

"We get you sir!" came the uniform, somewhat desperate, reply.

We'd been in the forest for nearly a week now, doing our best to survive off the sparse food that we could hunt or scavenge, as well as the limited rations we'd set out with. This was a pretty standard training course, and the fifth time now I'd done it. But for the squad behind me, it was the first time they'd experienced it. The men were tired, hungry and had been marching in formation all day. I didn't enjoy being a bastard like this, but odds were that things were going to get a whole lot worse when we hit the Valmese countryside.

The barracks structure was an old sawmill that we had fixed up in the first month of my residence in Baham, and now it and the outbuildings housed the Royal Ylissean Second. Of course, we were constantly adding to it; being on the edge of the city meant there was plenty of room to grow, and the training fields stretched right out to the tree line.

As we came marching up towards the barracks, a few of the off-duty soldiers came out to watch. Some shouted encouragement, others laughed the laugh of a man who knows exactly what kind of hell that these poor bastards had gone through, but overall spirits were high.

Just outside the barracks, I called a halt, the men stopping in perfect formation.

"Alright, men!" I shouted. "Your training mission was a success! Good work! Dismissed!"

A collective sigh went up from the squad, several of the men collapsing on the spot. Funnily enough, neither of the two women in the squad seemed all that affected. I resisted the urge to smirk as a round of laughter came from the other assembled soldiers. Shaking my head, I turned away as the others began to help the exhausted squad lose their kit so they could drag themselves to the bath block. Camaraderie was one of those things I was pushing hard for, and so far, the regiment was fairly cohesive.

Unlike the Ylisstol regiment, the numbers here were a little more skewed. There were a lot more foreign expats and refugees in the Second, due in no small part to my opening Baham to the displaced Plegian and Chon'sinian elements. I mean, sure there were still some growing pains; it hadn't even been a year yet, after all. But aside from some isolated incidents early in the regiment's founding that I had come down on like a ton of bricks, racism and bigotry were all but absent. At least in my presence. Indeed, the thing I was having more trouble with was integrating the women into the squads.

Overall, though, it was one of those times where things were going too damn good, and I was just braced for the other boot to drop.

As I stepped into the barracks, my liaison officer stepped up to meet me, Jeremiah looking like someone had stuffed a rod up his ass his posture was so perfect as he saluted me. His long brown hair was tied up in a frankly hilarious man-bun, and his forest-green uniform was immaculate. He'd obviously just visited the barber in town today, too, if the sharp lines of his thin beard were any indication.

I felt positively disheveled next to him.

"Good afternoon, sir," he said.

"Report, Major," I said without breaking stride.

"Training remains on schedule," Jeremiah started, falling in at my shoulder. "Squads three, four and five are all nearing the end of their training cycle. Scout Master To'shi reports that he'll have a second squad prepared for the Baham regiment in less than a month. We've received word from Colonel Kaelind in Fruford that there's been a slight delay on the production of the ammunition for the cannons, but nothing major."

"Anything urgent?" I asked.

"No, sir," Jeremiah said.

"Then handle what needs taking care of," I said. "I need a bath. I'll be in the Duke's fort."

"Don't you mean your fort, sir?" Jeremiah asked.

"Did I stutter?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Sir, no, sir," the Major said, clearly trying to hide his smirk.

I stepped through the doorway back out into the afternoon sunlight, facing the city of Baham. It was faster to just walk through the barracks than go around it, after all. Waiting there for me, as always, my second shadow Su'ko detached herself from the wall and took Jeremiah's place at my shoulder.

"Any problems, you know where to find me," I called back to the local man. "But they better be big goddamned problems. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" Jeremiah said, snapping a salute off before disappearing back into the barracks.

As I walked towards the manned barricade that separated the fledgling military base from the city proper, I glanced down at the diminutive Chon'sinian woman acting as my bodyguard. Barely old enough to be called a woman, Su'ko weighed less than half of me, yet was probably one of the most dangerous people in the city. Part of a clan of what amounted to ninjas in Chon'sin that had fled from Walhart's occupation, she'd been assigned to me as thanks for when I'd offered the refugees settlement rights. Now I could barely get her to leave me alone.

"Did you enjoy your break while I was in the forest?" I asked her conversationally.

She just looked up at me, giving me her usual blank stare. Her face was pretty, but unassuming. She was hardly what you'd call a beauty, but I supposed being plain made it easier to infiltrate.

"You followed me the whole time again, didn't you?" I sighed.

Su'ko nodded, her expression barely changing.

"You know, if I give you time off, you can actually go and do stuff not involving me," I said.

"My place is at your side," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Milord's well-being is my life."

I rolled my eyes at her rote answer. She was worse than my maid back in Ylisstol, Elle, had been sometimes.

With my second shadow in tow, I quickly made my way across town back to the Keep. Usually I was sociable enough, but tonight I just wanted a bath and a break, so I drew up my hood and walked quickly, and no one stopped me. The guards at the Keep let me pass without incident, and I made my way up to 'my' apartments as the sun sank below the mountains and cast the city into twilight.

Now, technically they were my apartments, but the idea of ousting Helman just to move into his and his family's rooms hadn't sat well with me. Plus, I'd taken one look at the gaudy, over-decorated state of the place and just noped right the fuck out. I get that it was a status thing, but I'm a simple man when it comes to ornamentation.

Unless we're talking anime figures. Which, let's be honest, I wasn't liable to find here in Ylisse.

So, I let Helman and his wife and daughter keep their family home and I'd moved into one of the smaller auxiliary apartments. Apparently, it had once housed Helman's nephew, before his daughter had been born. Said nephew was now an officer in Chrom's Royal Guard or something, I'd only really been paying half-attention during the conversation. It was basically just two rooms and a bathroom off a central space, adjacent to the Duke's quarters. Somewhere in between servant and nobility in comfort level, it had suited me far better than the Duke's quarters.

It was quiet. Anonymous. That's what I'd wanted when I'd arrived.

Su'ko followed three paces behind as I crossed the darkened entry hall, beelining directly for the stairs at the end of the hall. Unlike a lot of nobles, Helman didn't have a throne; he took audience in more austere meeting rooms sequestered off of the main hall, leaving the space almost empty and devoid of use as anything else but a thoroughfare.

As I shuffled towards the stairs, I heard a clamor and an irritated shout, followed by the sound of something quickly descending the stairs until-

"Archer, you mongrel! Get back- where are you going!?"

I laughed and knelt down as a large, dark hunting dog barreled across the hall towards me, his long, loping stride carrying him across the cavernous space in a few heartbeats. As soon as he neared me, he thrust his rear down, skidding to a stop right in front of me. Kneeling as I was, Archer stood taller than me, and he wagged his tail expectantly as he plonked his arse down right on the edge of my boot.

"Hey, boy!" I laughed, rubbing his face, neck and head eagerly.

A frowning, put-upon young woman came marching down the stairs after the dog, Helman's daughter Cilia. The pretty blonde girl, just on the cusp of womanhood, had the skirts of her beautiful dress hiked up as she stomped down the stairs, glaring daggers at the big dog as she stopped at the bottom of the stairs and huffed.

"Were you playing with Cilia again?" I asked him.

Archer just panted, tongue lolling happily as I rubbed his neck around to the base of his ears.

"We were sitting and reading together," the girl pouted. "Then he got up and ran off, and knocked the book out of my hand! I lost my page!"

"So find it again," I chuckled.

Cilia let out another long sigh, before clearing her throat and smoothing her dress down. She then proceeded to smile brightly and drop a perfect curtsy.

"Welcome back, Duke Ben," she said evenly. "I hope your training expedition went well. The servants have already served dinner, however I am sure they can prepare something for you."

I nodded and stood, scratching behind Archer's ears one last time before making for the stairs with my third shadow now in tow.

I won't lie and say I wasn't a total wreck when I arrived at Baham. A few days of isolation with nothing but a horse to talk to, given the mindset I'd left Ylisstol in, hadn't really helped me. As I had entered the stables I'd been wondering just what to tell Helman about my sudden arrival, and when I'd dismounted the horse I'd come face to face with this great shaggy hunting dog. He just kinda looked up at me, tail wagging a little. I looked down at him, wondering what was about to happen. Then the dog had sniffed at me a few times before deciding I was probably good people and plonking his ass down on the toe of my boot, and looking back up at me expectantly.

The stablehands had arrived to take my horse and explained that Archer, the dog, had been an old hunting hound. He'd gotten too old to keep up with the other dogs, but both Helman and the Keep's Houndmaster, another grouchy old retired soldier a few years Helman's senior named Flari, were fond of him and had decided not to just put him down. So, old Archer had been given run of the stables, where he had met me. Maybe sensing I needed some kind of companionship, he'd taken to following me around almost instantly. It probably didn't hurt that the first thing I'd done upon meeting him was kneel down and start petting and rubbing the ever-loving crap out of him.

Su'ko had actually looked a little jealous when she'd caught up with me in the stable.

I'd heard about 'therapy animals' back home before, but never put much stock in the notion. However, every time I'd felt my anxiety flaring in those early days, or every time I felt low, Archer would come along and just plant his arse on my foot and look up at me. Or, if I was sitting, he'd come and place his head in my lap.

It had been genuinely comforting to have the big lug there. Even if I am more of a cat person.

Cilia had taken to the dog, too, once the Duke's, or rather now my, people had cleaned him up. Archer got weekly baths and daily brushing, and now pranced around like he was king of the Keep. Even Ethid liked having him around, apparently, and Helman was quietly thrilled at my breach of common etiquette.

Cilia quite often met me when I returned from training or expeditions, something about it being 'proper' that she was there to welcome me back. She also made me accompany her on regular outings in town to cafes and just for random shopping trips. I'd been worried for a while that I was being courted, but when I brought up the issue with her father he'd laughed and assured me that Cilia wasn't of marriageable age yet, anyway, so I had nothing to worry about. Personally, I think she was trying to suck up so that I didn't kick her and her parents out of the 'nice' rooms, but I am a cynical bastard like that.

I stopped abreast the girl, offering my arm with a small, sideways glance. She smiled gratefully and took it with one small hand on my arm, and we strode up the stairs together like that. Again, it was a little propriety thing. It felt like play to me, like acting, but then I was most assuredly not used to being nobility. Something the girl had taken upon herself to rectify, despite my many, many protests.

Once we got to the top of the stairs, I moved to continue on to my smaller apartment, but Cilia maintained a gentle death-grip on my arm to forestall me.

"Why, Duke Ben, we would love to host you for tea," she said, smiling a flinty, Cheshire smile. "It has been ever so long since you have graced us with your presence."

"This is another one of those proprietary things, isn't it?" I sighed.

Cilia just smiled at me, her crystal blue eyes glinting dangerously, and I sighed again.

"Can I at least go freshen up first?" I pleaded.

"Of course," Cilia said. "As long as I have your word you will return?"

"Yes, yes," I growled.

"A nobleman's word is his bond, Lord Duke," she reminded me, disengaging her hand from my arm.

I muttered something incoherent that was both vaguely affirmative and threatening and moved to my apartments. Archer followed after Cilia, as if making himself a hostage so that I would have to go to tea.

Stupid dog is smarter than most of my recruits… I thought ruefully.

"Su'ko, we are back in the Keep, you can take some time to wash and change if you want," I said.

As I spoke, I turned, finding myself standing alone in the hallway.

"Bloody ninjas…" I muttered to myself, stepping into my apartment.

I made a beeline right for the bathroom, stripping my coat and mail vest before tossing them on one of the sofas in the living space and kicking off my boots as I walked, before peeling my shirt off over my head as I pushed the door to the bathroom-

"Naga's sake, Ben! Get out!" a feminine voice shrieked.

I didn't even see what hit me in the stomach, my vision still obscured by my shirt around my head even as I backed out of the bathroom and the door slammed in my face. I pulled off the shirt, running a hand through my beard and smirking.

"Sorry, Nah," I called through the door. "Figured you'd have been at tea."

There was some angry muttering and rustling from within the bathroom, and a freshly-bathed Nah opened the door with an expression somewhere between imminent violence and unabashed hunger. Her clothes were rumpled, clearly having been hurriedly thrown on, and I could still smell the steam and the floral soaps she and Severa washed their hair with.

"There's tea?" she asked.

I smirked, patting her on the head as I pushed past her into the bathroom.

"In the main apartment," I told her.

I found the bathtub still full, and without even pausing to check how hot the water was I dunked my head in. It was pleasantly warm, and I rose up with a gasp before I started scrubbing at my face and beard. Odd, that the bathwater would be so cool; given Nah's higher-than-human body temperature as a Manakete she usually had baths in water just shy of boiling point. She must have been soaking for quite some time.

"And for future reference, I didn't see anything," I called back to her.

Nah just huffed.

"Well, hurry up, then," she said.

"Just go on ahead!"

"It would be rude to just leave you here. It's your Keep."

"No, it's technically Chrom's Keep, I just live in it," I explained. "Do you not know how monarchies work?"

I rolled my eyes as Nah stomped off, cupping some more water in my hands and beginning to scrub at my pits. I was pretty rank, considering we'd been marching for damn near a week now, but I could wait for a proper cleansing. I didn't need Cilia to come barging in, demanding to know why I'd broken my word again.

I glanced up again as Nah returned, dropping a change of clothes on the nearby bench.

"Well, I can still wait for you," she said defiantly.

I scoffed and moved to close the door in her face, earning a strangled yelp followed by the sound of her kicking the door. Smirking and shaking my head, I shucked my pants and proceeded to very quickly finish cleaning off the worst of the sweat and grime before changing into the clean clothes Nah had brought me. A pair of dark blue trousers and a matching brocade tunic, emblazoned with House Baham's symbol. I rolled my eyes, even as I pulled the tunic on. Sometimes Nah could be just as bad as Cilia about me 'acting beneath my station'.

Although I was sure that for Nah it was definitely play.

Nah and Severa shared this apartment with me, occupying the other room together. According to Severa, I was the only one trustworthy enough to know their secret, so they were going to live with me. I hadn't argued at the time, mostly because I didn't have any more confrontation in me, but living with the pair hadn't turned out too objectionable. We all had the same goal, Severa helping me train the new recruits as Nah helped with the clerical side of things. The small and not-so-small amounts of support they gave me, too, had gone a long way to my ongoing recovery after the breakdown in Ylisstol.

I opened the bathroom door to find Nah standing there with a smile on her face, and a pair of fancy loafers hanging from her fingers.

"You hid my boots again, didn't you?" I asked.

"You can have them back after tea," Nah giggled.

I groaned, snatching the shoes from her and slipping them on. They were almost painfully uncomfortable.

"Happy now?" I asked, wiggling my toes in a vain attempt to make more space in the tight shoes.

"Yes," Nah nodded. "Although I'm sure you'd look much better with a cravat or a-"

"Don't push your luck."

Nah just giggled again, before stepping in and wrapping her arms around my midsection in a hug. I frowned, but let her have her way as I patted her on the back.

It had come to both Severa and Nah's attention, and I'm sure many others close to me, that when I arrived at Baham I could not stand to touch people. At all. It had gotten to the point after only a month that they had, as a pair, sat me down for an honest to god intervention. We'd come up with a plan for what amounted to immersion therapy, where every day I had to hug Nah at least once, and the two of them would try to make as much casual physical contact with me as possible. At some point they had gotten Cilia and her mother, Ethid, in on it, too. It had been… hard at first, but after another month I stopped panicking every time someone brushed up against me. Now, I didn't even flinch any more. At least when anyone I'm familiar with touches me. It's… honestly a work in progress.

"Alright, are you done now?" I asked. "I'm hungry."

Nah stepped back and nodded, spinning on her heel as she all but pranced towards the door where she spun and looked back at me expectantly. She frowned as she watched me roll the sleeves of the fine tunic I was wearing up to my elbows, but clearly decided that me just wearing the damn thing was victory enough.

We made our way into the Duke's apartments, finding Helman, his wife Ethid, and Cilia all sitting around the low table in front of the fireplace with…

"Good evening, Boss," Severa said with a cocky little grin.

I gave Nah a pointed glance, quirking a brow as if to say 'she didn't wait'. The deceptively young-looking manakete just huffed and took the seat next to Severa as I sank into the seat next to Helman.

"Good evening, Duke Ben," Helman said with a small grin. "We didn't expect you back until morning."

"I pushed the recruits a little harder this time," I explained. "They were young, they had the energy to spare."

"Ah, if only," Helman chuckled.

"You still have plenty of pep left in you, dear," Ethid giggled.

"Mother," Cilia deadpanned.

"Oh hush, you," Ethid smiled. "You should be grateful your parents actually love each other."

"Most noble couples can't even stand each other," I added.

"Speaking of, when were you planning on taking a Duchess again?" Ethid asked slyly.

Severa choked on her tea as she tried to stifle her laughter, and Nah had to reach over to pat her on the back. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I helped myself to a cup of my own.

"I'm not even thinking about it until the regiment is up to full operational strength," I said, giving her the same rote answer I'd given her at least a dozen times now. "There's just too much to do, it wouldn't be fair to marry and then just ignore her."

"Like most noblemen do," Helman added under his breath.

I took a sip of the tea without sweetening it, sighing as the bitter tang of the caffeinated black liquid hit my tongue and filled me with renewed vigor.

"Besides, where I'm from it's not uncommon for men not to marry well into their thirties," I went on.

"People wait until their middle years to marry in your homeland?" Ethid asked curiously.

"Middle years in my homeland aren't until fifty," I laughed.

"You hear that, dear?" Helman asked with a grin. "I'm still in my middle years."

"Yes dear," Ethid laughed.

"Yeah, leave Ben alone," Severa snorted. "It isn't his fault he looks like he's already in his middle years."

"Yes, the stress of dealing with you on the daily has that effect on people," I laughed.

Nah snickered as Severa's grin fell instantly, and the rest of the small circle joined in. Just as Severa opened her mouth to retort, Archer appeared in front of her, looking up at her for a moment before dropping his head in her lap. Severa instantly quieted, settling for petting the dog and glaring at my shit-eating grin.

As I took another sip, I felt a presence behind me, and glanced over to see To'shi, my head scout, waiting at my shoulder. Ethid and Cilia both jumped at his sudden appearance, but the rest of us had grown used to his ninja-ness after working with him for so long. As soon as I set eyes on him, To'shi dropped to one knee, bowing his head.

"Milord, I bring news," he said quickly in Chon'sinian.

"I believe I told Jeremiah not to disturb me unless it was very important," I told him blandly, responding likewise in Chon'sinian.

I'd gotten used to the language after Yu'tsun had started smacking me with her walking stick when I spoke anything else in front of her. Now the switch just came naturally, and I had even begun learning some broken Plegian phrases as my next linguistic project. Someone else could translate in Valm, learning what amounted to Latin was too much effort.

"Milord, I regret that I must interrupt your repose, but this is urgent," To'shi insisted.

"Fine, get on with it," I sighed, placing my teacup down.

"Sir," the head scout said gravely, finally looking up. "We found her."

Nearly a week later I found myself standing in the shadow of Ylisstol's palace, looking up at the entryway with no small sense of trepidation. I had to fight the urge to tremble, remembering the last time I was here and what had happened.

After To'shi's report, I had left almost immediately for the capital, travelling light and virtually unguarded. Only my usual shadow, Su'ko, and her uncle To'shi, had followed me to the palace. As soon as we reached Ylisstol To'shi had peeled off to prepare a squad from the fully-trained scouts attached to the First, but I'd opted to avoid the barracks for now and go straight to the Palace alone.

Something cold and wet nudged at my hand, and I glanced down to find Archer nuzzling my fingers expectantly. I smiled, running my hand over the top of his head and reminding myself I wasn't wholly without allies. Su'ko was here with me, and we had been utterly unable to dissuade the dog from following along with us. It had taken an extra day, because I'd insisted we slow down so that Archer could keep up, but it had been worth it for just this moment alone.

"Alright, boy," I muttered to the dog. "Ready to meet our liege?"

Archer just panted up at me, his tongue lolling.

I took a deep breath, the hammering in my chest having eased greatly at this point thanks to the dog, and began to ascend the stairs to the entrance.

The two guards at the doors studied me for a moment as I approached, ignoring the usual crowd of servants, petitioners and other miscellanea that hung around the palace. It took a few moments for them to recognize me, but when they did, their jaws dropped. In their defense, I did look pretty different than the last time any of the Royal Guard had seen me; my neatly trimmed beard hadn't been shaved in six months, and was now gloriously bushy. I'd kept my head shaved, though, and the sunlight glinted off the top of the chrome-dome. I think, though, it was how I was dressed that threw them off most. Rather than my usual duty uniform, I was in my full Duke's regalia, or at least the bastardized version I deigned to wear on the regular. I had a deep green coat with a ruff of white fox fur imported from Regna Ferox, the crest of Baham painstakingly emblazoned onto the back of it, closed and hiding my usual mail vest. My old boots and jeans were nothing new, but the coat, that was what threw them. The coat had been a gift from Helman and Ethid, claiming that I'd needed some Duke-worthy clothes. I also wore my broadsword at my hip, although I had left my buckler with my horse.

With Su'ko and Archer both trotting along at my heels, I strode right past the guards, who continued to watch with bemusement now that they recognized me.

It appeared that, despite not wearing House Ylisse's signet ring any more, I still had free access.

My breath hitched when I spotted Chrom sitting in his throne at the end of the hall, clad in his usual blue and white robes of office, the golden crown of Ylisse adorning his head as he heard from the usual daily petitioners. I didn't break stride, though, and I bypassed the crowded line of people waiting to beg Chrom for some favor, and stood patiently to one side with my dog and my ninja.

We must have cut quite the figure, because it only took Chrom a moment to glance up and notice us, doing a double take as his eyes settled on me. His face set into a small frown as we looked at each other, and he held up a hand to forestall some peasant representative from the Midland farming communities.

"Duke Baham," Chrom greeted formally, standing with his hand resting on Falchion's pommel.

The whole hall fell silent as every eye turned to look at me, and I felt my anxiety increase when I spotted Frederick lurking behind the Exalt's dais with a look of murder on his face.

I bowed low, formally, with my hand over my heart and the other far away from any of my weapons.

"Lord Exalt Chrom," I said, rising. "I come bearing ill tidings that require your immediate attention."

This got the crowd going, and whispered speculation broke out like a bow wave away from me as Chrom's frown deepened.

"Speak, then," Chrom demanded.

"With due respect, Lord Exalt," I said, not breaking eye contact. "This is information most sensitive. I would speak to you in private, once you are free."

Chrom just snorted, stepping down off his dais and motioning me to follow him. A clamor arose from the crowd of petitioners waiting to see him, and Frederick stepped forward between the crowd and the Exalt, his expression alone cowing most of them.

"Silence!" the Knight Commander/butler shouted over the crowd.

"I will return momentarily," Chrom promised them, before pointedly looking back at me. "This will not take long."

Chrom led me to one of the private meeting rooms behind the throne, Frederick, Su'ko and Archer all following behind us. I hadn't missed the disdainful look that Frederick had shot Archer, but I chose to ignore it for the moment. It was taking all of my willpower not to break down then and there, my anxiety levels flying through the roof at the thought of having to be alone with Chrom again after last time…

Once we were in the room, Chrom strode directly to the other side, leaning against the sill of a frosted glass window as he turned back to me with his arms crossed. Frederick closed the door behind us, and Su'ko lurked near to the big knight, unassuming in her dark travelling clothes and over-sized cloak. Archer just sat at my feet, the way he always did, and I drew strength from the big dog's presence.

"Speak," Chrom commanded. "You have one minute."

I took a deep breath, deciding that the best way to deal with this was to be direct. Chrom clearly wasn't in the mood for any games, and I didn't think that I had the energy for them myself.

"Chrom, I need your help," I said eventually. "We're putting together a small expeditionary force, and I need you with me."

"I trust this is in the best interests of the Halidom?" he asked evenly.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Then I will prepare the Shepherds," he said, standing from the sill. "Vaike leads them now, but I'm sure that the two of you can be professional enough-"

"No, Chrom," I interrupted. "I need you, specifically."

"I am a busy man," Chrom snapped irritably. "I don't know if you noticed, sequestered away in your forest hold for the last year, but I have a country to run!"

I took a deep, calming breath before responding.

"Chrom, you know I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't important," I said softly.

"So, what?" the blue-haired man asked shortly. "You want to take me on a training mission? Show off your 'army'?"

"It's your army, not mine," I reminded him. "And no, Chrom, I need your help on a… a rescue mission."

"Stop being so damned elusive!" Chrom snapped, pounding his fist down on the wooden tabletop. "Speak plainly! I've no patience for games, Ben!"

I inwardly cursed, realizing that I had been talking around the issue. I took another deep breath, looking Chrom dead in the eyes.

"Chrom, one week ago my scouts in the south contacted me to inform me that they had finally located Emmeryn, after nearly a year of constant search. Alive, in the Southern Islands between Plegia and Valm."

I could practically hear Chrom's jaw clench, and stormclouds began to gather in his eyes. I pressed on, though, desperate to get the relevant information out there before he tried to stab me.

"When they tried to approach her, she fled," I explained. "She's been traumatized by whatever's happened to her in the last few years, managing to elude my men for the last year or so, and I need a familiar face to-"

"Enough!" Frederick thundered, advancing on me. "How dare you!? After your behavior in the fall how dare you use-"

The big knight brought himself up short, stopping in his tracks as he realized that Su'ko's dagger was floating beneath his chin.

"Su'ko, stand down," I sighed in Chon'sinian.

She continued to glare up at Frederick for a moment before her stance finally wavered and she stepped back from him, sheathing her dagger beneath her cloak again. The two of them then proceeded to have the most intense staring contest I'd ever seen as I turned back to Chrom, the Exalt studying me with an unreadable expression. After a few seconds of studying him, I realized with a creeping sadness that I really couldn't tell what he was thinking anymore, when we'd once been so close.

"I would not be stupid enough to bring this to you if I didn't think it was legitimate," I told him as evenly as I could. "We need to move fast and light before we lose her again, and we don't have time to mobilize the Shepherds or the Army. I understand if you're too busy, I'm sure Lissa would work just as well, but I felt like you should know-"

"Enough," Chrom said, running a hand down his face.

He sighed, glaring at me for a few moments before sighing again and looking away.

"Frederick, send the petitioners away for the rest of the day and clear my schedule," he said.

"Milord, you cannot seriously be considering this madness," Frederick growled.

"Frederick," Chrom repeated.

The bigger man clamped his mouth closed, snapping to attention before nodding.

"Thy will be done, milord," Frederick said.

He shot me one last glare before he gave a shallow bow and retreated from the room. Chrom turned back to me with a stony expression, the two of us looking at each other wordlessly for a moment before the Exalt broke the silence.

"I will need time," he said, turning away. "I will need to prepare, and to explain to Sumia what's happening."

"Be quick," I urged him. "Speed is of the essence here. It took To'shi's men nearly a month to pick up her trail the last time they lost it."

Chrom hesitated at the door, looking back at me over his shoulder.

"I want to trust you, Ben," he said darkly. "But this is your last chance. If this is some wild goose chase, or some joke, I will try you for treason and you will be executed. Do I make myself clear?"

I gulped, nodding.

"Meet me at the South Gate in two hours," I said.

"I will try," Chrom said, before leaving.

I let out a breath once he was gone, leaning heavily on the table in the center of the room.

"Well," I muttered, a shudder passing through me. "That went well."

Swallowing my fear, for the most part, anyway, I had made my way back to the barracks of the Ylissean First. I wasn't planning on making a big scene or anything. I wasn't ready for that yet. But I did need the copies of the ocean maps that I'd put aside in my room, if for no other reason than I knew they were more comprehensive than the majority in circulation and I wanted this trip to go as smoothly as possible. I needed Chrom back on my side, and I wouldn't be able to do that if this mission failed and I was… well, dead.

But… I still wasn't ready to face the others yet. I needed to get in, get the maps, and get out without anyone seeing me. I'd face the others and deal with that later, but I needed my head on straight if we were going to find Emmeryn.

So it was that Su'ko and I found ourselves running an infiltration mission on my own damned Barracks.

Fortunately, Su'ko had taken this mostly in stride. I say 'mostly' because she had given me an odd little look, a very slight quirk of her brow, but had otherwise just nodded. It had honestly been the most expression I'd seen from her in months.

We left Archer outside, with a strict 'sit' order for him to wait in the shadows of the alley across from the barracks. It wasn't unusual for strays to hang around the Barracks; a lot of the soldiers were big softies and liked feeding them, so hopefully he wouldn't stick out too much. Su'ko and I slipped around the side of the big building, coming up on the locked side door. Su'ko made quick work of the lock, making me very worried about how quickly this thing could be picked, and we slipped into the shadowed hallway outside the kitchen.

It was still early in the day, and the cooks were busy cleaning up after breakfast while we snuck past the kitchen. Su'ko bade me wait, and we shrunk down into the shadows as a squad of soldiers from the Third Platoon marched past, carrying crates of supplies. She gave them a few seconds, her head cocked slightly while listening to see if anyone else was approaching, and when she was satisfied, she waved us on.

We crept up the stairs to the officers' dorms, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the common room empty of anyone. That had been the big gamble; I didn't know what Tharja was doing, or what Elle's routine had become without me around. But we passed through the common room unmolested, and I approached the door to my room.

I froze as my hand reached for the doorknob, a momentary stab of fear coursing through me at the thought that Tharja might be waiting inside. As quietly as I could, I nudged the door open and peeked inside, muscles taught and ready to cut and run if I saw so much as a glimpse of dark hair. The room was empty and the bed was made up, but otherwise everything else was as I'd left it. I stepped into the room, giving the closed fist at shoulder height symbol to Su'ko so she knew to wait. As I stepped into the room, I mentally amended my earlier observation that nothing had changed. Tharja's stuff was all gone. All the vials and potions and books and detritus of someone's life aside from my own was missing. But that wasn't all.

Noire's cot was gone.

Not surprising, really. I doubted Tharja would hang around without me here, and she sure as shit wouldn't just leave Noire. Despite her quirks, she was a good mother. But I felt a certain absence in my chest, a pang of loneliness as I stood for a moment looking at the corner the cot had occupied. Where were they? Where had Tharja taken my daughter? I didn't know, and the thought sent a stab of guilt through my heart.

"Ugh, this was a mistake," I groaned, shaking my head and moving to my desk.

I had to focus. I could dwell on what a shitty parent I'd been after I got my neck off the chopping block. I kept telling myself that it wouldn't do Noire any good at all if I pissed Chrom off and got killed. I could make up for my absence if I was still alive, otherwise… yeah. It didn't make me feel much better, but it did give me something to focus on.

I would just… need to spend some time petting Archer once I was done here.

I rooted through my drawers as fast as I could, looking for the requisite maps I'd commissioned. They were probably towards the bottom of the pile, considering I was planning to make the Valm crossing through the northern sea, but I just couldn't…

The door swept open and I froze, looking up with wide eyes as Lucina sauntered into my room like she owned the place. Without even looking, she dropped a small bundle of clothing on the bed, and began to change. With a relieved groan she kicked off her boots, before quickly shucking her pants and leaving herself bare from the waist down.

I copped a good eyeful, forever answering the question of whether or not Lucina was a natural bluenette, before deciding this had clearly gone way past 'far enough'. Hers was also, amusingly enough, the first bush I'd seen since arriving in Ylisse.

"Hello there," I said, doing my best Ewan Macgregor impersonation.

Lucina yelped, yanking her leggings back up but thankfully not screaming.

"Who!? What!? I… dear Naga above, Ben is that you!?" she asked, her face practically glowing she was blushing so hard. "You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing here!?"

"Shhhhhhhh! Keep it down!" I hushed her. "I'm just passing through. I needed maps. I'll… be back soon, though."

"But… you've been gone for nearly a year!" she insisted, although her voice did mercifully decrease in volume.

Lucina looked at me for a moment before her eyes widened, the last of the blush fading from her face.

"Is it time?" she asked. "Is Valm…"

"No," I preempted her. "This is personal. Although if I screw this up, you'll be taking orders from Robin and not me."

"Ben, what is going on?" Lucina asked.

I sucked my teeth for a moment, caught between telling Lucina about my plans and getting the hell out of dodge. In the end, I decided the fastest way to get out was to actually fill her in.

"I'm taking your father south, to the islands between Plegia and Valm," I explained quickly. "The scouts… they found Emmeryn."

Lucina gasped, covering her mouth in shock for a moment before she set her face.

"Let me get my things," she said, bending down for her boots.

"No, Lucina, stop," I told her. "If you come with us, you put your secret at risk. Do you really want that?"

She froze in place, looking up at me with a furrowed brow.

"Stay here," I almost pleaded. "Keep an eye on things. Maybe subtly get the others used to the idea of me coming back."

"Ben… if my Aunt really is still alive, I…" she trailed off, clearly not knowing how to put it into words.

"I know," I sighed. "But, Lucina, it wasn't your fault. You… you tried to stop it. I didn't. I let it happen. Let me fix this."

Lucina gave me a piercing gaze for a moment before she nodded and relaxed.

"Alright," she said. "But are you sure you don't need me?"

"Trust me, I have plenty of manpower," I smirked. "This is just gonna be a quick snatch and grab. Nothing to it."

"I do trust you, Ben," she said softly. "I never stopped trusting you."

"Thanks, Luce," I sighed. "It means a lot to hear someone say that."

"We were all worried about you," she said.

"Yeah," I scoffed. "I'm sure with the way I left everyone was falling over themselves with concern."

As I spoke, I rolled up the maps and placed them in my hip pouch, moving to step past Lucina. She stopped me with a touch on my elbow, and I had to resist the urge to slap her hand away.

"I was worried about you," Lucina repeated.

She caught my gaze and held it, and after a moment I sighed and stepped up to give her a hug. Lucina melted into the embrace, pressing herself to me and wrapping her arms around the back of my shoulders as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I worried you," I said.

I rubbed her on the back a few times before moving away, stepping back as Lucina smiled at me.

"I… missed you," she said shyly.

I nodded, reaching up and gently cupping her face with both of my hands as I smiled back.

"And you have a beautiful muff," I told her, straight-faced.

Lucina blinked a few times, as if totally uncomprehending of what I just said. Then it hit me that she probably didn't know what that phrase even meant, and I snickered as I moved back towards the door.

"I don't know what you just said, but I feel vaguely insulted," she deadpanned.

"Go with that feeling," I smirked. "Oh, hey. Why are you changing in my room, anyway?"

Lucina's blush returned tenfold, and she spluttered a moment before responding.

"Noire turned our room into a nursery!" she finally managed to choke out.

I paused again with my hand on the door, making a thoughtful sound.

"Huh. So they're still here? Good to know," I said absently. "I'll be back soon. Take care of yourself, Lucina."

"And you, as well," she said, almost grudgingly.

I stepped back out into the common room, coming face to face with Su'ko as I closed the door behind me.

"Weren't you keeping watch!?" I hissed angrily.

Su'ko looked up at me for a moment before nodding.

"Why didn't you warn me Lucina was coming!?" I asked.

"You… did not tell me to," she whispered uncertainly.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, eyes wide as I brought my face down to hers.

"Then what was the fucking point of keeping watch!?" I hissed angrily.

Su'ko just blinked up at me, her eyes wide in the face of my obvious displeasure. I sighed, hanging my head for a moment before drawing myself up with a deep breath.

"Let's just get the hell out of here before anyone else notices us," I ground out.

She nodded, and we crept out the way we had come in, no one else the wiser.

I waited in the shade of the Southern Ylisstol Gates next to my horse, doing my best to look nonchalant as I waited for Frederick to come riding up at the head of a column of armored knights to arrest me. It was a dumb expectation, but I couldn't help but let my mind wander in those places. Archer sat at my side, and my hand rested on the warm, reassuring presence of the dog. Su'ko lingered not far away, inconspicuously watching for threats.

As Su'ko and I had gathered the necessary provisions for this next stage of our journey in the marketplace, I had been constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone else to notice me before I was officially 'back'. Also, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of what would happen when I did return. I wouldn't be surprised if Tharja just turned around and lit me on fire without a word. Robin probably hated me, not to mention what Noire must think of me for just leaving like that…

Thoughts of Noire again eventually turned into thoughts of the infant I'd ended up leaving behind, and an immense wave of guilt crashed over me. My vision began to darken around the edges, my breathing quickening until…

A cool, wet nose pressed into the palm of my hand again, Archer looking up at me with that inscrutable canine expression on his face, as if asking why I'd stopped petting him. I smiled, running my fingers over the top of his head as my heartbeat slowed.

"Sorry, boy," I muttered to the dog. "I know I'm kind of a mess…"

Archer just wuffed, nuzzling against my hand to encourage more pats as he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

So it was that I spent probably forty-five minutes waiting for Chrom, just playing with my dog. I had moved on to scratching him beneath his chin when a shadow fell over me, and I looked up to see Chrom looking down at me with a small frown on his face. Given the circumstances, I couldn't really blame him for the expression, but it did make me feel like shit.

Chrom sat atop one of the palace's horses in his old training gear, hood drawn low over his face and Falchion covered. Frederick was nowhere in sight, nor were any other guards or soldiers, but-

"BEN!"

Archer and I both jumped a little at the sudden shout, Lissa shooting off the back of Chrom's horse and barreling into my chest with all the subtlety of a tactical warhead. She wrapped her arms around my chest and buried her face in my shoulder for a moment as I went rigid, before she pulled back to look up at me.

"It's so good to see you again!" she said quickly, a bright smile on her face.

I just nodded, eyes wide. Lissa leaned in conspiratorially to whisper her next question.

"Is it true that you've found her?" she asked hopefully.

"We think so," I nodded, my mouth dry. "I trust my scouts' reports."

Lissa gave me a wide smile, before giving me another tight hug.

"I take it she's coming, too?" I asked Chrom over the top of her head.

"She insisted," he said with a small grin. "It… didn't feel right to keep this from her."

I nodded as Lissa pulled back from me again, and I got a better look at her. Gone was the yellow dress and cage skirt combo, replaced with simple black pants and travel boots, and a pale, yellow blouse under her heavy cloak. While her clothes were plain, they were all of a very high quality, and it was easy to tell she was nobility. She had grown again, too; she wasn't quite my height yet, but she was closing fast, and she had more curves than the last time I'd seen her, too. Lissa had turned from gawky, prank-driven teenager into a young woman while I'd been away, and the realization struck me.

"We should get moving," I said, moving to my horse. "We'll be meeting a squad of scouts in Southtown before we move to the staging area…"

I trailed off as I realized that Lissa had followed me to my horse, instead of returning to her place behind Chrom, and was looking up at me with her hands clasped behind her back.

"Uh…" I said lamely.

"I'm riding with you!" Lissa declared brightly.

"Don't even try arguing," Chrom sighed. "She's already out-argued both Frederick and myself today. She's on a roll."

"So you don't stand a chance," Lissa winked.

"Fine, whatever," I smirked, swinging up into my saddle before reaching down my hand for her. "We're burning daylight, anyway."

As Lissa let me pull her up behind me and got settled, I couldn't resist shooting her a little smirk over my shoulder.

"Nice to see you brought your own cloak this time," I said glibly.

"Shut up and ride," she laughed, jabbing me in the ribs with her fingers.

The addition of Lissa to our journey turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Not only did she fulfill the tactical role of healer, making this trip suddenly a whole hell of a lot more sustainable, but she also helped to bridge the divide that had arisen between myself and Chrom in the last year or so, at least a little.

Things had been awkward when we'd made camp that first night. We had ridden hard south, Archer dogging our heels (pun intended) the entire way. We hadn't stopped to make camp until just before nightfall, moving off the road and into the sparse woodland that made up the Southern Ylissean region. I'd set down my pack and saddle, freeing my horse from the weight and tying him off near the camp before putting some oats and grains into a feed bag and placing it around his face. There was a creek not far away, the road following the creek until it met a larger river near Southtown, so we'd all drank well. Archer had bounded into the water like a puppy in an excited fit of splashing and barking, his tail wagging and making all of us smile and laugh.

When we had all settled in to rest for the night, Chrom had gone about making a small fire, Lissa watching as Archer laid his head on her lap. The princess had fallen in love with the dog just as fast as anyone else that ever met him, and she was now pampering him as she impatiently waited for Chrom to prepare the fire.

I sat, chewing on some cold jerky with my back to a great tree a small way away from where Chrom was making the fire. It felt a little extravagant to me, making a fire; I'd pushed hard for the army forces to be used to cold camps and meals so that our position was harder to spot, but Chrom and Lissa couldn't know that. In that respect, I had intended to just go to sleep, wrapping my own traveling cloak around me and preparing to rest before Lissa spoke up.

"Oh, Ben! You haven't heard yet!" she declared excitedly.

I glanced up, the fog of oncoming sleep receding from my mind as I blinked a few times.

Lissa just grinned widely and thrust her hand out towards me. There, glinting on her finger, was a simple golden ring with a diamond set in it. The kind of ring a travelling Feroxi swordsman might give…

"Well. Shit," I said, sitting up. "Congratulations."

Lissa giggled bashfully, holding her face with both hands as Archer sighed, his face still resting across her lap.

"It was so romantic," she said dreamily. "You don't think Lon would be capable of it, and yet he sets up this gorgeous dinner for just the two of us in the gardens… lanterns and music and… ah! I fell in love with him all over again when I saw it!"

I glanced over at Chrom while Lissa was gushing, the Exalt miming throwing up while her back was turned, and I couldn't help but grin a little.

"Oh! Oh! And!" Lissa went on. "Sumia had another baby! A little girl!"

I froze at the news, looking over at Chrom in astonishment. The Exalt rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, before nodding.

"It's true," he said. "Another little girl. We named her Cynthia."

"Well… congratulations to you, too," I said awkwardly.

"Thank you," Chrom answered, just as awkwardly.

Lissa huffed, shaking her head and crossing her arms but otherwise remaining silent.

"Well, let me get you caught up on the rest of what happened while you were away," she said eventually, leaning forward again. "You would not believe what Gregor did just after you left…"

And with that, we sat around the fire late into the evening as Lissa explained about everything that had happened in Ylisstol while I'd been gone. Chrom occasionally interjected to clarify points or correct her over-embellishments, and I just sat there listening and laughing for the most part, but it was nice. Even though Chrom and I weren't exactly talking, Lissa more than made up for it as she very obviously tried to bridge the gap. Almost like she felt guilty for what had happened and her small part in it.

I'd ended up going to sleep, Archer curled up half laying on my lap, beneath that tree with a small smile on my face. The sense of nostalgia from the three of us traveling together again let me rest well for the first time in months.

We woke early before dawn, bringing the horses down to the creek to drink and splashing our faces with the icy water to help wake us up. I looked around, not having seen Su'ko all night and feeling some slight concern. That was usual for Su'ko, though. I rarely saw her when she followed me in the forest around Baham, so it wasn't surprising I wasn't seeing her out here.

Lissa rode with Chrom that day while I led, the pair's good-natured bickering following me all the way to Southtown. It made me miss my own brother, if I were honest. I couldn't help but feel like Chrom was watching me all day, though. Even as silly as I knew it was, I couldn't shake the sensation. As we approached that familiar scenery again, I felt another faint stirring of blessed, distracting nostalgia in my breast, and as the wind blew the scent of the distant ocean to me I couldn't help but let a small smile rise to my face.

I slowed my horse's gait as we got closer to the town, quirking my head as a familiar sound reached my ears. Chrom and Lissa came alongside me, looking around curiously.

"What's wrong?" Chrom asked.

I didn't respond, just cupping my hands to my mouth and giving my best approximation of a Ylissean horned lark's mating cry. The shrill, chirruping whistle was answered by two more similar ones, and ten forms materialized in the nearby woods. Chrom and Lissa both gaped at the sudden appearance of the scouts, and I smirked at their reaction.

"You need to practice that call some more, General," To'shi said by way of greeting.

"Excuse me for growing up in a place where the birds either laugh at you or scream at you," I chuckled.

To'shi hid his smirk with a small bow at Chrom and Lissa, the rest of the scouts following suit.

"Lord Exalt, Lady Princess," the Chon'sinian said formally. "We greatly appreciate the trust you have placed in us for this mission. We swear to be your shield, to protect you with our lives."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Chrom said, returning their bows with a stiff nod.

To'shi nodded as he rose, the other nine scouts doing the same behind him as they fanned out along the road to keep watch. All of them were wearing drab green and brown tunics over their mottled camouflage cloaks, the pattern on which had come from my own world. To'shi had agreed that it made hiding in forests and grassland easier, and swapped out the usual blue uniforms for the plainer scout uniforms. Each scout still had a formal dress uniform for the Ylissean First, though, the winged-foot symbol that had become eponymous with the scout platoon displayed proudly on the arm of each.

"We'll push for the staging area today," I told him. "Your men can keep up?"

"Of course, General," To'shi promised.

"Has there been any more word from the watchers on target alpha?" I asked.

To'shi shook his head. "No, General, although I do have some of my best men shadowing alpha. They will have left a trail for us to follow."

I nodded, motioning the scouts to fall in behind us. We passed right through Southtown, ignoring the curious glances from the locals as we did. Lissa looked back at the village as we rode away, before turning to frown at me.

"Where are you taking us?" she asked.

"Feels a little late for you to be asking that now," I pointed out.

"You said something about a 'staging area'," Lissa huffed. "I thought you were talking about Southtown."

"I find myself curious, as well," Chrom said slowly.

This time I barked out an involuntary laugh, shaking my head as I looked back at the Exalt.

"If you ever bothered to look at the paperwork I sent to you, you'd know exactly where we're going," I told him.

Chrom frowned, but it was more of an embarrassed frown than an angry one.

"I trust you not to waste Ylissean funds," he muttered. "You don't need me looking over your shoulder."

I was actually surprised by his use of the present tense, saying that he still did trust me. I remained silent, though, picking apart his words to look for any hidden meaning. It didn't feel right. I just… couldn't believe it would be that easy.

We continued south-east from Southtown for another hour, the path steadily shifting uphill as we progressed towards the coast.

Ylisse didn't have any sizable naval presence, a problem that had plagued me as soon as I'd started thinking about the Valm campaign, before we'd even finished with Plegia. The problem was that most of the Ylissean coastline was cliffs. As a side-effect of Grima's great sundering a thousand years ago, the Archanean beaches had been washed mostly away. There were still a few stretches along the south, closer to Plegia, and up north along the coast of my own territory in Baham where it was too cold to really make use of them, but because of that Ylisse had developed a culture wholly dependent on farming and husbandry as opposed to fishing. Seafood was often treated as a delicacy in Ylisstol, which served me just fine because I couldn't eat most of it anyway thanks to my allergies.

However, as a side effect of all this, the country of Ylisse had literally no ships to its name. Any coastal patrols were contracted out to merchant ships, and all trade was done via land. Regna Ferox was no better; without a centralized government they didn't see the need to build boats. All this was why we would have to eventually go and beg Plegia for ships in a few short months.

As we progressed up the hills, the shapes of some rough, pre-fab buildings became visible in the distance, and Lissa started craning around Chrom's broad shoulders for a better look.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"A work camp," I explained. "Prisoners can work off their time here to reduce their sentences."

"That's horrible!" Lissa gasped. "Why are you bringing us here!?"

I rolled my eyes, glancing back at her.

"Give me a little credit," I told her. "They're not treated like slaves. And you'll see why we're here in a minute."

As we rode closer to the buildings, uniformed soldiers appeared, shouting out challenges that To'shi responded to. The scouts bled away, leaving me alone with the two royals again as I led them up to the cliff-face. We stopped near a lonely tree overlooking the ocean, and I dismounted. Chrom and Lissa did likewise, and a young man wearing the uniform of the Ylissean First appeared to lead the horses to the stables with a polite bow.

Archer barked and jumped around excitedly at the change of scenery, and I watched him for a moment with a small grin. I took a deep breath of the cool, salty air as the sea breeze whipped the tails of our cloaks around, centering myself and letting my work mode slip into place.

"As I'm sure you both remember," I began to explain, heading towards the edge of the cliff. "I predicted Valm would invade soon."

"Yes," Chrom said slowly.

"Well, even on the off chance that they don't, Ylisse's lack of any discernible naval presence is a cause for concern," I went on. "So, in response to this issue, I'd like to introduce you both to… the Southtown Dry Docks and Shipbuilding Yard."

As I spoke, I reached the edge of the cliff, waving my hand down towards the inlet carved into the face of the rock. Lissa and Chrom leaned out, and the princess gave a shocked gasp. The cliff abruptly lowered into a rocky outcropping, on which men working off their prison sentences swarmed. The distinct shapes of two ships sat in the water around newly constructed docks, three more taking up the shore in various states of completion. Both the Ylissean royals marveled at the sight, and Chrom gave a knowing nod.

"Operation Splish Splash," he said, comprehension dawning.

Lissa snorted, and the moment was over as she started to giggle.

"Did you seriously call it that?" she asked.

"As camouflage," I explained, rolling my eyes. "No one in their right mind would expect such a stupid name to represent such a massive undertaking."

"Are we taking one of them?" Lissa asked, excitedly eyeing the ships again.

"Nope," I smirked. "We're taking both of them. This will be their maiden voyages, their shake-down runs. But the workers have done their jobs right, and by all reports they'll get us where we need to go."

As I spoke, I turned away from the cliffs, leading the pair down towards the docks.

"We're leaving immediately," I told them. "The timing worked out well, actually, although Admiral Yemuel wasn't happy he had to delay the voyage by two days."

"Wait, Ylisse has an Admiral now, too!?" Lissa asked.

I glanced at Chrom, rolling my eyes at his blank look.

"Read. The. Reports," I laughed.

We made our way down to the docks where To'shi was watching the last of his scouts board the first of the ships, and he looked up as we approached. Su'ko had joined us again at some point, silently following along with Archer as we made our way down to the docks.

"Last of them are on board, General," he said smartly. "We'll meet you at the disembarkation point."

I nodded, and he gave the two royals one last polite bow before boarding the waiting ship. The sailors, all looking sharp in their brand-new striped blue-and-white variants of the standard army uniform, went about their preparations for launch in cool, methodical fashion. As Chrom and Lissa watched, bewildered, the ship began to drift away from the dock, and Lissa turned to me with a stricken expression.

"I thought you said we were going to be taking the ship!" she said.

"I said we'd be taking a ship, not the Asuna," I explained patiently. "I figured that the Exalt would want to tour his own flagship first."

"I do like the sound of that," Chrom nodded slowly. "Although I find myself somewhat in awe of the fact you managed to pull all this off with so little fanfare."

"Fortunately, that flooding last year really took people's attention off this," I shrugged. "I'm sure that the nobles like Burrito know about it but you did sign off on the project, so it's not like they can do anything about it. There's also five more lighter support craft already waiting outside the inlet that we modified from old merchant vessels. They're nowhere near as fast or durable, but they're better than nothing."

As I spoke, we strode across the wooden dock, the wind cooler here in the shade of the cliffs. It hadn't taken long to find this place, but it had taken some time to populate it. The natural depression in the cliff we'd turned into the dry docks had taken very little sculpting, too, although it did occasionally flood during king tides. The rest was all simple construction and engineering, the docks being one of the last things to have been erected once the first of the ships were nearing completion.

We approached the second ship, slightly larger than the first, its flanks almost a patchwork of shuttered cannon ports. The weapons themselves were still being shipped from the iron smelteries we'd repurposed up north in Fruford, but would hopefully be in place by the time Valm attacked. As we got closer, Chrom and Lissa ooh-ing and ahh-ing appropriately, one of the sailors limped out of the press to meet us.

"Ah, Lord General, sir," he said, thumping towards us with his distinctive heavy limp. "We were wondering when you and the VIPs would arrive."

"Let me introduce you," I said to the two royals. "Chrom, Lissa, this is Lieutenant Cean Virestia Julica, head of the Naval Marines in charge of shipboard and coastal combat. Cean, I'm sure you know the Exalt and Princess."

The tall man nodded with a lopsided grin, snapping a smart salute. He was Chrom's height and a little broader in the shoulders than the Exalt, and wore his tunic open to display a toned, tanned midsection. His left leg ended abruptly below the knee, his limping caused by the simple wooden peg leg that he refused to replace. His handsome face was peppered with stubble, and his long brown hair was swept away from his face and held back by the beaten-up old captain's hat he wore. He looked every bit the stylized, stereotypical pirate he had once been. Every bit the pirate that a lot of the naval forces once were.

But… Chrom and Lissa didn't need to know that part.

"Your Grace, Princess, it's a pleasure to have you," he said, removing his hat and holding it over his heart as he gave them both a formal bow. "Please follow me, and I'll introduce you to the Admiral. Welcome aboard our flagship, the Arturia. Watch your step."

AN: Yes! Ha ha ha ha hah! We are back! We! Are! Back! I waited for so long to start this story, and I really think I did need the break. When I came back to this story, I actually ended up writing this entire chapter in one sitting. Literally. I sat here for six hours and pumped out the entire chapter. It was awesome. Also, you'll notice that the tone of this story has started out a little more somber. I don't think that'll last. But as I was writing this chapter, I watched a video essay on the old TV show MASH. And it made me remember what was so beautiful about it. So I'm going to do my damndest to make you laugh. But I'm also going to hurt you with this story. Because I want to look as realistically at war as I possibly can. I want to dive as deep as possible into the mentality and mindsets of men and women that have to live through that kind of hell, and more than anything I want to make you think. I want this story to stay with you, the way that MASH has always stayed with me. So I'm setting out to make you laugh, and cry, and to feel what these characters are going through. I just hope that I'm a good enough writer to do it.

If you enjoyed this story don't forget to leave a review! Always makes me feel good. And check out my other stories, too! I'm writing a far more serious story, a novelization of FE7: Blazing Sword that I've named Blazing Trinity, as I work on this one and I'm having a lot of fun with both of them.

So, some of you will have noticed I've rated this story as Teen. Be forewarned, it will not stay that low. For now, I feel it squeaks in, but this story will be fairly Mature. Especially when they get to Valm. Or I just wanted the exposure. Either or. XD

My editor, MinuteRice, has started his own Self Insert story. Check it out, it's called The Tellius Tourist, and as I'm sure you've guessed, it's a Self Insert story based in Path of Radiance. Look it up, check it out, and enjoy!

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