Konosuba/Re: Zero. Kazuma Satou, Subaru Natsuki. Chapter 1: The newbie and the veteran.

Let us go back to the day Subaru was summoned to the kingdom of Lugnica only this time Kazuma gets sucked into the same world as Subaru after having spent some time in Axel. Therefore Subaru will only have return by death, while Kazuma has basically all his abilities from the end of light novel 9. Subaru has positive expectations, while Kazuma already knows how shitty living in a fantasy world can really be. So let us see how this duo will overcome their challenges.

You know I had a feeling today was going to be shitty, but I thought it would at the very least involve Aqua, Megumin or Darkness to some extent. I did not expect to be sucked into another world while in Wiz's shop. Luckily I still understand the language and writing automatically, let me do a check of myself.

Kazuma's notes:

Me

Usefulness: High, since I am versatile

Intelligence: Above average

Naïve: HELL NO

Equipment: Katana(Chunchunmaru), Bow and 0 x arrows, thief mask, Mithril alloy rope + extra rope.

Age: 17, birthday on June 7

Cheat item/ability: No, Aqua isn't around.

What is that guy doing, and is that a tracksuit. I would bet he is from Japan, oh please don't tell me he is a newbie.

"Hey, you want to tell me why you have your arm pointing to the road?" I asked the guy, he might be from Japan, since his clothing is sticking out like a sore thumb.

"Eh, I was just doing some stretches," he tried to excuse himself, but he was clearly lying.

"You were trying to cast magic, weren't you," I accused which instantly turned his face into a deep red color, which could make a tomato envious.

"N-no, like I said I was just doing some stretches," he again tried to wriggle himself out of the embarrassing moment, how prideful could this guy be? Just admit it already.

"You are from Japan right?"

"How did you know that!?" He yelled at me in shock.

"You have a tracksuit on, and I am also from Japan, name is Kazuma Satou," I explained going for a handshake.

"Eh, my name is Subaru Natsuki," he returned the handshake with a smile as the shock started to fade away.

"Ok, I take it you were just summoned since you made an utter fool of yourself," I guessed which he nodded too.

"So are you supposed to be my mentor and tell me about how this world works?" He hopefully queried.

"Nope! I was just summoned into this world as well, I don't know shit about this world," I quickly shot him down, I am not going to babysit some newbie.

"But you have a bow and a katana, that is not something you just walk around with in Japan, you have to have some experience,"

"I do have experience, but not with this world, I was messing with an item from my friend's shop, and boom I am suddenly in another world, AGAIN!" I explained to him.

"Oh, ok, so we are going to be like a duo exploring the world together?" He said hopefully.

"Suuure, we can be a duo, how much damage can you take?" I asked

"Ehm, I can take average damage, maybe a little bit more since I train every day," He answered honestly

"Great, do you have any items with you from your world, or have you been granted any cheat items by let's say a goddess?" I continued to question the guy as I scribbled down.

"I have a bag of chips, and a phone on me, and I can't remember meeting any goddesses or gods," the guy continued to answer honestly.

"Interesting, and how old are you?"

"I am 17, about to be 18, what are you writing down there?" he asked curiously.

"Ah, you know, important information," I excused myself.

Kazuma's notes:

Natsuki, Subaru

Usefulness: Low

Intelligence: Average, maybe below

Naïve: Yes

Equipment: 1 cup of instant noodles, 1 bag of my favorite chips, 1 cellphone

Age: 17, soon 18

Cheat item/ability: No, or doesn't know about it.

"Now we can go and explore right?" Subaru asked in a hopeful tone.

"Sure, you first," if anything kills you or harms you I will know to not go that way.

We walked around for a bit until we reached a toilet, I could clearly read signs saying "women" and "men", but this guy is either a big pervert or he can't read, because he just waltzed right into the women's department and got smacked out of there in an instant.

"You are a pervert, oblivious or stupid, so which one is it?" I asked Subaru, now wearing a big pawmark on his cheek.

"I can't read any of this, how was I supposed to know," he complained.

"Hmm, you can't read, that is interesting, what does that sign say?" I asked as I pointed to a sign saying Appas.

"I don't know, it is just unintelligible scribbles for me," he said exasperated.

"Hey cheer up man, let us go somewhere else in the meantime," I guided him to an alley way to sit down as I picked up the bag of chips and popped it.

"Hey, I was going to save that," he complained as I opened it and started to eat.

"I am hungry, and this is my favorite type of chips, and I haven't had these in forever so zip-it,"

"You can hand those over to us then, with all your other belongings," A thin tall boy with blue-greyish hair said, making my {Enemy detection} skill to go off. On his right you had a little midget half his size, and on his left was a brute twice his size. I could clearly tell that the guy in the middle was the leader.

"I think we are being robbed," Subaru stated the obvious.

"Indeed, that is something I am actually not used to," unless I count Aqua.

"Don't worry, it is now we get saved by a girl or you show me your skills since you are the experienced one of us," Subaru explained.

"I don't know if that is going to-" I stopped as a girl with golden hair came speeding down the alleyway catching everyone's attention, which I took as the opportunity to activate {Lurk} and steal everything Subaru had of use on him before I got myself on top of the roof. So now I sat on top of the roof eating chips while watching how this would develop.

"Hmm, summoned, I don't know what you are talking about but I am really busy, sorry, now live strong okay," The girl with golden hair and CRIMSON RED EYES, said as she jumped up the roof like nothing, granted I had done the same just before.

"Wait, what, where are you going!" Subaru yelled after the girl as the leader grabbed ahold of him, while the girl jumped up next to me before continuing her run.

That was basically Chris, just with Darkness' hair and Megumin's eyes. I noted to myself as I continued to watch Subaru now frantically looking around for someone, me I would presume.

"Hey get down here and help me!" He yelled at me as we made eye-contact.

"I already am, I got all our valuables, so even if they beat you up they won't get anything out of it," I said as I flaunted all his stuff.

"You asshole!" He yelled back at me, making all of the robbers confused.

I think they were about to give up until Subaru turned around. Yelled "You bunch of EXP," then proceeded to punch the big dude in the face, before he did a roundhouse kick which sent the little guy flying. I thought he was going to win the whole fight until all his confidence drained away the moment the leader pulled out two knives, and he started to beg for his life.

"Oh, they are so going to kick his ass," I called it before the leader kicked the prostrating Subaru in the chest, proceeded by the other two getting up and kicking the absolute shit out of him. Which he kind of deserved after ruining my perfect plan. I was even about to step in before I heard what I thought was Megumin yell at them to stop. Which again caught everyone's attention, even mine.

"Give me back what you stole and I will let all the other things slide, be good and hand it over please" Fake Megumin pleaded or demanded, it was hard to gather from her tone.

"So you didn't come to save this kid?" The brute asked while pointing to the person he was currently stomping on.

"What strange clothes he has…" Fakeumin pointed out, "No, never seen him before," She continued

"Well then you've got no business with us! If someone stole from you it was the brat that just ran by," The brute said as he pointed to me sitting on the roof.

"NOT ME! HE MEANS A GIRL WHO JUST RAN BY!" I quickly yelled before the girl got a chance to use any magic on me. I had a feeling she could use magic, based on her voice, and if she in worst case scenario could cast {Explosion} I would be gone with the rest of town.

"You don't seem to be lying," Fakeumin said as she ran past them, making all three let out a sigh of relief. "But regardless of that, I can't overlook what is going on here!" She exclaimed as she summoned ice magic and shot one baseball sized ice cube at each of them.

"Ouch that just got to hurt," I muttered to myself.

The guys sputtered something about "not being afraid of a magic user," until Fakeumin suddenly summoned a grey, white talking cat, with a purple bag. Which made them run away as quickly as possible. Note to self: that cute little cat is dangerous, and Fakeumin can cast useful magic that doesn't drain away all her mana.

Kazuma's notes:

Fakeumin

Usefulness: Great

Intelligence: Average, maybe above

Naïve: maybe

Equipment: Nothing noteworthy

Age: looks between 16-19

Cheat item/ability: Yes, little grey-white probably OP cat.

"You saved me, thank-"

"Don't move!" Fakeumin ordered making Subaru blush.

Oh no, he is in love, I don't want to deal with this.

"See? You averted your eyes because you have a guilty conscience!" Fakeumin falsely accused Subaru, yeah that's going to be some points towards average intelligence. "Looks like my judgement was spot-on,"

Okay she is sure of herself too, that is not a good mix.

"Are you sure? I think it was just an instinctive male reaction," The cat accurately pointed out. I might have to make a page just for him.

"I didn't sense any malice in him at all," I'll write that ability down for sure.

"You be quiet Puck," Fakeumin ordered, before she redirected her attention back to the beaten up Subaru.

"You know who stole my insignia from me, don't you?"

"Uh, sorry but, I don't have the slightest idea," Subaru excused himself.

Suddenly Fakeumin changed her mannerisms and started to go on a rant with her flying cat, in the meantime Subaru tried to get up, but instead he just passed out from all the damage he had taken. I guess it is time for me to see if they can help him. I got down from the roof and went over to them.

"Can you do any healing magic for my companion, he seems to be pretty beat up at the moment, in return for your help, I can help you find whoever stole your insignia, she ran past me not too long ago, and I got a good look on her," I said, trying to not sound creepy.

"Hmm, you promise you will help us find the thief?" Fakeumin asked with a hopeful undertone.

"Yeah, but can you help him with those injuries first," I pointed to the passed out Subaru.

"I don't sense any lies or malice from him," Puck said.

"Very well then, we will help your companion and in return you lead us to the thief," Fakeumin said.

"Deal!" I exclaimed.

"Puck transform into something bigger so we can put his head on something soft," She ordered her cat which he quickly followed going from his pocket sized form to a human sized form.

"So you can do healing magic too?"

"Some, but I nowhere near the level of a person I know, she can pretty much regenerate organs from scratch," Fakeumin explained.

"Yeah, I know someone like that too," I retorted.

"Really, they must be a very powerful person to be able to do that," Puck noted.

"She is powerful, but she isn't very bright," or useful for that matter.

"So how do you two know each other?" She asked me.

"Met him on the street a couple of hours ago, the dude doesn't know how to read so I tried to guide him around, and then we took a break here, those three guys tried to rob us, so when the thief girl distracted everyone I took all our stuff and went up to the roof. They were about to let him go, but then he punched two of them, so they beat him up in return," I explained.

"Why didn't you try to help him get rid of the thugs when they were beating him?" Puck asked me with a judging stare.

"I didn't have any arrows on me, and I don't really want to fight three guys without knowing how strong they are," I quickly retorted.

"So you don't like risking yourself for others?" Puck asked me, I could tell he was judging me.

"Every time I have tried it only ends with someone dead," by someone I mean me, it is always me.

"Poor you, did you know the people that died well?" Fakeumin asked with genuine pity on her face, those eyes and hair really reminded me of Eris so I kind of took a liking to her.

"Yeah, you could say that," it was me after all.

"My condolences, that must have been hard,"

"After a while you get used to it,"

"Hmm, oh I think he is waking up," She pointed out.

"Oh, hang on am I in somebody's lap," He pointed out the obvious yet again, silent salute for you man.

"You're awake?" She asked him.

"A little weird for a cute girl to be this hairy, but whatever," oh dear when he realizes he is going to scream.

"WAIT THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!" He yelled as he turned around to look into giant Puck's blue eyes. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Subaru shot up and screamed in panic, now clinging to the wall like he had seen a ghost.

"We were just trying to make you happy and comfortable until you woke up, there is no reason to get freaked out," Giant Puck said in a girly high pitched voice to mock him. I like this magic cat.

"First of all stop talking in that high-pitched voice, nobody with half a brain would confuse a cat with the main heroine," He complained, totally forgetting that this is not some stupid game or anime. Hopefully I am not going to be stuck with this idiot for too much longer.

"Aww, listen to you, seeing you so happy made turning myself bigger totally worth-"

"I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL!" Subaru yelled back, he was clearly frustrated, which made it all the more fun to laugh at him.

"Ok, enough of this, are you going to tell me where the thief that stole my insignia could have gone?" Fakeumin directed her attention back to me.

"How valuable would you say the insignia is?" I asked.

"Priceless," She quickly retorted.

"What would the consequences be if it, you know someone else got their hands on it?"

"That would be disastrous," She answered again quickly.

"Ok so stolen, priceless goods that has significant consequences if in the wrong hands," I noted to myself, Wiz's shop almost always dealt with such items, and her shop lay in the outskirts of town with almost no traffic.

"My first idea would be too look in the outskirts of the outskirts, like a slum, the area would have little traffic of guards and the items could be sold without law enforcement hearing about it," I deduced.

"Hmm, that actually sounds really logical, it sounds like you have previous experience with selling mysterious goods from that deduction," Puck pointed out, that cat was perceptive, or could he read my mind like Vanir.

"The thief also looked rather scrawny or malnourished like a friend of mine, so she has to be pretty poor which would reaffirm her living in a bad area, like the slums," I pointed out.

"Hmm, well that would be sufficient information in exchange for my help, since spending more time with you no longer serves a purpose I will be on my way," Fakeumin said as she got up and waved us goodbye.

"Sorry, she is so insincere sometimes, but don't think badly of her, ok?" Puck said, which made Subaru start mumbling about something, which I didn't catch before he started running after Fakeumin.

"Well, he is your problem now, I will be on my way," I said before Puck appeared in front of me blocking my path.

"I don't trust you, what if you are making us walk into a trap, you smell funny too, not like your companion, yours is unfamiliar but it still reminds me of sloth and wrath," Puck menacingly said as he triggered my {Enemy detection}.

"O-ok, I will join, just cool it a little Puck," I stuttered out.

"Interesting choice of words," He calmly noted as the hostility towards me feigned away.

When we came out of the alleyway Fakeumin was discussing with Subaru about something until Puck (Now pocket size) floated to her shoulder and spoke.

"I don't sense any malice here, so I think you can just accept his offer, after all the more shields between you and the ruffians the better," Puck stated as he looked towards me and Subaru with a smug look.

"A SHIELD THAT IS ALL YOU WANT ME AROUND FOR!" Subaru yelled back at Puck clearly offended. But his logic was pretty sound, if you had to sacrifice someone to keep your mistress or friend safe, why not just let it be some idiot you found walking around on the street.

"Let us just get this over quickly, lead us to the slums girl," I said as I just wanted to get away from these three, especially that scary cat.

After walking for an hour we reached a pretty secluded space when Puck had the bright idea of making us all introduce ourselves. I didn't want to know her real name, Fakeumin sounded better in my head.

"I might as well go and get the ball rolling first then, my name is Subaru Natsuki, not only am I totally clueless I am also broke beyond compare, nice to meet you," He stupidly introduced himself as he did a somewhat ridiculous pose, I have seen worse from Megumin and the other crimson demons.

"If that is how you introduce yourself you really do sound hopeless" Puck said, which was what I was thinking as I facepalmed internally.

"Well my name is Puck, it is nice to meet you!" The cat exclaimed as he flew towards Subaru and crashed into his hand.

"It is very unusual to see someone who can touch a spirit as casually like that, where are you from exactly?" she said, but I think she meant that Subaru was being careless and stupid.

"Well if things follow the usual pattern, it is a small island nation to the east," Subaru explained, why couldn't he just say he is from an island, or hell say you are from a place they call Japan. Why would you say something that includes our worlds geography.

"But Lugnica is the eastern most country on our continental map, there are no more countries in that direction," Fakeumin pointed out, making him look like a proper idiot, why am I always stuck with an idiot.

"No way, there is nothing east of here?!" He uttered in complete shock, dude you are in another world what did you expect.

"You have no idea where you are, you have no money, you can't read, but at least you have this guy that can help you," Fakeumin clearly didn't catch me trying to walk away from him earlier, but whatever. "Ehm, Subaru right?" She asked timidly catching his attention and making the guy blush.

"Yes, that is my name," he retorted while he started to nibble on his thumb.

"All that aside you seem like you are in pretty good shape," Puck pointed out.

"I do try to work out every day, you see when you are the shut-in protector of your own home, you got to stay fit as much as possible," He proudly explained.

"I am not sure if I understand what a shut-in is, but I assume it means you are from a reputable family, right?" Fakeumin said while she grabbed ahold of his hand and started to study it.

Why is he so proud of being a shut-in, at least I can say I am not that, I died outside after all.

"Your finger too, they are very pretty, they don't look like the working hands of a peasant at all, and your muscles don't look like the kind you gain from doing field work," She continued to explain as she studied his hand closer, which made him red as a tomato.

"Can we just get the move on, we still need to find that insignia," I interjected, trying to hurry the search up.

"Wait, I still haven't heard your name, would you tell me what it is?" Subaru asked.

"Oh, my name?" Fakeumin nervously asked, which he instantly answered with some nodding and a dumb smile on his face.

"It's… it's Satella," she said looking straight at him, which made Puck do an involuntary gasp in surprise, which told me that she was definitively lying, but if it would get Subaru moving, then great. "No family name, so that is the way you may address me, alright?" Fakeumin said.

"I see, Satella it is, that's a nice name," Subaru complimented, which clearly surprised her, making her look at me.

"What are you staring at, we got an insignia to find," I said making Puck let out a sigh of relief as he mumbled something to her.

"You should introduce yourself too," Subaru annoyingly pointed out.

"Kazuma Satou, ok, can we please get going?" I pleaded, I didn't like being outside when it was dark, especially not somewhere I didn't know anything about, so I felt that getting this done while the sun was still shining was essential to our success.

"Why are you in such a hurry Kazuma?" Puck asked, his voice cold and calculating.

"Wouldn't be easier to find the thief while the sun is still up?" I answered with my own question.

"I can't argue with that, but how do we know where to look for the thief?" He asked me.

"We could ask around if people have seen a girl with golden hair and red eyes," I answered.

"Oh, very well then, good sir would you-"

"Hmph," a middle-aged man snorted and ignored her as he started to walk away from us.

"Hmm, I don't think they are going to sell out one of their own," Subaru pointed out.

"Yeah, we would need someone that looks like they have been beat up or gotten their clothes ripped and dirtied," I noted to myself as I started to look at Subaru.

"Eh, why are you all staring at me like that?" Subaru asked nervously as Puck and Fakeumin started to stare with me.

"Subaru, why don't you try to ask around for the girl?" I suggested.

"O-ok, well, hey dude can I talk to you," Subaru went up to another guy, I would guess in his thirties and he actually started to talk with him instead of walking away.

"So, what did you gather, did he tell you anything useful?" I asked.

"He told me that the girl we are looking for is named Felt and that we should probably go to a loot house in that direction, told me to ask for "Old man Rom," and then he said "Live strong"" Subaru explained as he pointed out our next destination.

After a few minutes of walking we reached a run down building I would presume to be our destination, the sun was starting to go down so I felt we needed to get this done quickly.

"Subaru go and knock on the door, if you get killed we will know not to step up to the door," I jokingly told him, which only earning a glare from him, those scary eyes of his really sent a shiver down my spine.

"I would be glad to do so if Satella asked me to, but not you Kazuma, especially after raising all those flags, if she were to-"

"Ok, I will knock on the door, before you say something moronic, AGAIN!" I was tired of this guy, now it really felt like he thought all of this was just a game, and he was the protagonist.

I knocked on the door, which felt like it was about to fall off its hinges. The wooden door was clearly rotten in a few places and it had some kind of mold growing at the bottom. After a few seconds I could hear some light footsteps as the door opened to reveal a girl, with red eyes and golden blonde hair. Why do the two first girls I meet remind me of Megumin and Eris, what is next they are princesses too so I remember Iris on top of it all.

"What do you want?" She asked, clearly suspicious of me, I made sure to block her sight of the two behind me, maybe she would take off the moment she saw Fakeumin or Subaru.

"The insignia you stole would be a good start," my inner negotiator kicked in, she was clearly expecting someone I might be able to pass as them.

"You got the money?" She asked narrowing her eyes at me, in response I checked my pocket and found my coin pouch, and shook it a little in front of her.

"Come on in then," she said opening the door wide, which also unfortunately revealed the sight of Fakeumin and Subaru to her. Her reaction was instantaneous as she tried to run back inside, but I was quicker and cast {Bind} on her making the rope from my belt wraparound her, which in turn made her faceplant on the floor.

"HEY!" An older man, sorry a giant man thundered in outrage from behind his bar as he started to run at me with his club raised.

"{Create water}, {Freeze}" I chanted first casting water on the wooden floor, which quickly froze as I dodged the side swing of the giant as he slipped on the ice and crashed through the door and landed on ground outside. I took out my mithril alloy rope and cast {Bind} once more.

"That should take care of them," I noted as I went over to Felt and started to check her pockets with no regards to where my hand wandered.

"HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" She yelled back at me as I took everything she had on her of items, which wasn't much, just a blade and what I would presume is the insignia. The moment it left her pocket the red gem in the middle stopped shining.

"Is this the insignia?" I asked for conformation showing it off to Fakeumin.

"Well yes indeed, thank you so much, I don't know how to show you my gratitude," Fakeumin joyfully sprung at me as she saw the little insignia, the moment she took it the red gem started to shine again, making me curious.

"Hey, great work there Kazuma, I might have misjudged you, you took those two down like nothing," Puck praised me, finally giving me a chance to breathe easy.

"Yeah sure, but just curious what makes that gem light up?" I queried.

"Oh, this lights up when someone worthy of being a ruler candidate touches it," Fakeumin explained to me.

"Why are you asking?" Puck questioned me, but his tone was friendlier this time.

"Because it was lit up when I took it from her, so doesn't that mean she also is a ruler candidate?"

"WHAT?!" My information clearly shocked both Puck and Fakeumin as they stared at me in disbelief over what I just told them.

"Don't believe me, test it yourself," I gestured to the defenseless little girl laying on the floor.

"Very well then, can you hold it up to her cheek Subaru?" Fakeumin asked as she offered it to him, which he quickly took, his cheeks now burning red.

"O-of c-course," Subaru was able to squeak out.

I personally think pressing it to her cheek will only get your hand bitten, but I am not going to stop an idiot from doing something stupid.

He put it to her cheek, and the red gem started to light up once more. "Can you stop that, your hand is cold!" Felt complained before she bit him just as I expected her to do.

"This changes a lot," Fakeumin said in realization as she picked up the insignia.

"Indeed, now I will have to kill all of you," A woman's voice rang out from behind me, and my {Enemy detection} flared up again, but I reacted to late as everything went black, before I again sat in my usual chair with Eris sitting opposite of me.

/Subaru's POV

I was stroking my hand after that little girl bit me, and then I heard Satella's beautiful voice ring out, before the atmosphere changed drastically as a new woman appeared.

"Indeed, now I will have to kill all of you," She spoke as I heard a thud hit in the floor as I looked at Kazuma's severed head lying next to his body.

"AHH!" My heroine screamed out as she jumped back from the newcomer, I was frozen from a mix and terror and shock as I looked at my companions severed head, the last feeling etched on to his face… tired, wait that couldn't be right.

"PUCK HELP ME!" Satella ordered, even in distress she looked really cute.

"I am here for you!" Puck quickly retorted as he summoned forth a bunch of icicles each the size of a runners baton.

"Oh, you have a spirit, I have never had the pleasure of cutting open a spirits belly before," the woman creepily noted as she kicked Kazuma's head away like a football.

"Cut me loose!" Felt screamed at me only to get a knife stabbed into her back, making me jump back and try and get as far away as possible from this monster.

"I have to slaughter every last one of you, but he seemed the most capable so he had to go first," she pointed to Kazuma's dead body as she licked her bloody knife seductively.

"You will pay for that!" Satella yelled at her in anger, damn she is cute even when she wants to take revenge.

Suddenly Puck summoned forth a sea of icicles and shot them at her in less than a second, if I had blinked I would have missed all of it. "That should have gotten her," Puck noted.

"Don't say that you are going to jinx it!" I yelled out, and of course, the cliché kicked in and when the ice broke away, the woman stood there with a big menacing grin on her face, with her blades drawn.

"I will make sure to kill you next, half-elf!" she exclaimed, her words like poison before she took off from where she stood and rushed behind Satella, quicker than I could even register.

"Not if I kill you first!" Puck stated as he forced a barrier between Satella and the woman's blade. He quickly followed up the defense by shooting icicle after icicle at her, but she either managed to evade them with her acrobatics, or crush them with her blade, that was until her foot got stuck in some of the ice, leaving her an open target for both Satella and Puck.

"You didn't think I was just throwing those around at random, did you?" Puck rhetorically asked with a smug tone.

"Looks like I have been had, oh my," She stated calmly as she nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders.

"Say GOODNIGHT!" Puck cheerfully stated as he and Satella charged up another attack.

First, there was a growing blue light coming from their hands, before a pillar of ice burst forth, heading straight for the pinned down murderer, at a frightening speed. It was about to hit her, but in the last second, she was able to evade being crushed or speared to death by the pillar as she gracefully landed a few meters away from it.

"My how lovely, I thought I was going to die," Her voice sounded euphoric, as she declared it.

"Puck can you keep going?" My heroine nervously asked Puck.

"Sorry, but I am sleepy, think I underestimated her, it is past five and all my mana is gone, so I am done," Puck informed her in a yawn.

"Don't worry I will take care of things out here, so you can rest, thank you for your help" She told him with a smile on her face.

"Remember if anything happens to you, I will act according to my contract. If it comes down to it, call me, even if you have to squeeze me out of my odo," he said as he disappeared, which to me looked like he was dying.

"Oh, you are going away," she said in feigned disappointment as she used an item to stick something around her bleeding foot, stomping it twice, like you would check if a shoe was fitting your foot. "Well, that is terribly unfortunate, FOR YOU!" She maniacally roared, instantly rushing Satella.

"I will beat you!" Satella yelled as she blocked attack after attack from this crazy lady

"And how will you manage that? With him maybe, look at that boy, it is like someone cast a freeze spell on him, since he hasn't even moved an inch to help you," That bitch pointed out, I wouldn't tolerate that so I picked up the first large thing I could use as a weapon, and rushed her.

"Oh my, it seems I triggered something inside him, coming at me with that rusty sword," She mocked, but I didn't falter I pressed on and swung at her, but she wasn't there anymore, and my belly felt warm and wet. No, my stomach burned, as I could feel something wet run down my pants. I fell to the ground clutching my stomach, it was the most pain I had ever felt, the pain just got worse for every second and breathing became the hardest task I have ever faced.

"So sloppy, but let me see," She seductively said as she cut my left arm off, she CUT MY FUCKING ARM OFF.

I wanted to scream but doing so would mean I couldn't breathe so I started to whimper instead. Was I about to die, I didn't want to die like this, scratch that I don't want to die this young, I want to do things with my life. All the sounds around me started to get muffled as I did my best to stay alive. Then I saw Satella fall to the ground next to me, her gentle hand surrounded in light.

"I will find a way to change this, I promise I will save you!" I managed to mutter out as I gripped onto her hand as tightly as I could not letting go, then everything went dark.

/Eris' POV

I had been a little bored lately, so when Kazuma dropped by and was killed, AGAIN, I thought it would be the normal stick of, "Hey, I am dead now, let us talk until Aqua comes and revives me," I did not expect this.

"So, I think I got my head chopped off, again," Kazuma told me in a tired tone, as he stroked his neck.

"Ok, where did you die this time?" I asked him with a smirk.

"Someplace, called Lugnica," He said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Wait what? Where is Lugnica? How did you end up there?" I had so many questions, and saying I was shocked would be an understatement.

"You tell me, I have no clue where I died, I was in Wiz's shop one moment and the next I am suddenly standing next to this guy that is doing a weird pose in the middle of a busy street," Frustration was clear on his face as he explained.

"Ok, Kazuma I am going to see if I can find a world with a place called Lugnica, just stay calm," I tried to calm him, as I started to look for a world with a place called Lugnica.

"Oh, yeah and that guy I met on the street was also from Japan, his name was Subaru Natsuki, but he seemed to be taken directly from Japan and he said he never met any gods or goddesses," Kazuma rambled on as I still couldn't find any world with a place called Lugnica.

"Wait, you said he was taken out of his world without going to heaven first?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, and he didn't have any cheat items or abilities as far as I could tell," Kazuma answered.

"But that would mean someone or something similar in power to the gods dragged him there," I said now looking more intensely through the universe to find a world matching Kazuma's description, but I found nothing, nothing at all. It was like the world didn't exist or rather, someone or something didn't want us gods to know that it exists.

"Figuring it out?" He asked casually, he is the only mortal I can ever remember being so casual with gods and goddesses.

"I can't find the world you died in, which means it is hidden from us gods," I parted with my information to him.

"Yeah, but what does that mean for me now? I am dead, do I get reincarnated in Japan, can I go back to Axel with the others or must I go to heaven?" I could see Kazuma was hoping for the 2nd option, but without Aqua it would be impossible.

"I am sorry Kazuma, but the only options you have now are between reincarnating to Japan or sending your soul to heaven," I managed to tell him, without my voice faltering.

"I… see, could you give me a moment to decide?" Kazuma said as he turned away from me.

"Take the time you need Kazu-"

I was interrupted by the sounds of the barrier to heaven being broken, as a black hand burst into the room and grabbed ahold of Kazuma. This thing was trying to drag Kazuma out of heaven by force, like a DEMON!

"E-ERIS WHAT IS THIS THING, HELP ME!" Kazuma yelled out in panic.

"BEGONE DEMON!" I roared as I shot forward and cut the hand into pieces.

"Pugh, you saved me Eris, thanks, do you know what that thing was?" Kazuma asked snapping me out of my rage, how dare such filth even try to wander into a holy place like this.

"Ah, you know just doing my job, can't have some dark forces dragging you down to hell when you are supposed to pick between reincarnation or heaven," I told him, in my most casual tone.

"T-that thing would have dragged me down to h-hell?" he asked, now clearly frightened.

"Most likely yes, but you don't have to worry, it must have been strong since it got through the barriers, but it is not like there can be any more of them," I told him as I playfully punched him in the arm.

"Eris, don't say things like that," He complained as he got behind me for protection.

"Kazuma I can take on at the very least 100 of those hands with my dagger if it comes down to it so relax," I reassured him, and after a few minutes he let go of my dress and sat back down in his chair.

"I guess it really was only that hand," Kazuma said and instantly close to 200 hands rushed in from everywhere and tried to pin me down, I cut through them at a blistering speed, trying my best to get to Kazuma, but when I got to his chair he was gone and so were the rest of the hands.

"I failed," I angrily muttered to myself this would never happen again, I solemnly swore this would never happen again, no demon or dark forces will ever again get the better of me. I looked back at the chair Kazuma sat in just mere moments ago, a tiny light flickering from the armrest.

"Eris," the light spoke with Kazuma's voice

"Yes, what is it?" I asked fearing the worst.

"I died by getting my head chopped off!" it told me in a tone akin to that of a child telling their parent about something interesting.

"Oh no, a soul piece, this is going to be a nightmare,"

"Eris, I died by getting my head chopped off!" the soul piece repeated the one memory it had, oh please Kazuma if you can get back to heaven do it as quickly as possible.

/Third person POV

Kazuma was being dragged through what seemed like time as pictures flickered before him, before it stopped and he could see two guys sitting down by an apple stand. He tried to reach out and touch it, but before he reached it a voice rang out.

FORGET EVERYTHING, ONLY MY CHOSEN ONE SHALL REMEMBER ANYTHING!

Subaru died in another loop in the meantime without either Emelia or Kazuma, since Kazuma detained Felt by pure chance, while he ran to the loot house alone. Subaru was killed by Elsa when she got mad that Felt didn't show up, so she decided to kill both Rom and the now stressed out Subaru.

/Kazuma's POV

I suddenly got this light headache, it wasn't much, but it still hurt a little bit. I looked over at Subaru, he seemed to be staring off into space, like there was nobody home.

"Hey Subaru, you there, wakey-wakey," I said, while waving my hand in front of him.

"HUH," was the only response I got as he looked at me in complete confusion.

"Oh, I know what will get you out of your trance," I said as I smacked him.

"Hey what you do that for!" Subaru yelled back at me from the ground as he rubbed his now even redder cheek.

"You were daydreaming about something, and you gave me a dumb response so I smacked you back to earth, no need to thank me," I said as I couldn't help but give him a smug smirk.

He didn't give me any immediate response he just started looking around in shock, then he opened his plastic bag and I could see my favorite type of chip. I would take that off him later for sure, it feels like I just ate it a few hours ago, but it has been so long since I have eaten one of those so that can't be right, probably just nostalgia kicking in.

"What's going on, it was nighttime just a few minutes ago, right?" He muttered to himself, I feared he was going senile, or more likely crazy. I might have to put his usefulness down a peg in that case.

Suddenly he lifted up his shirt to reveal his stomach, he is well-trained, which means he might be able to beat up some thugs on his own. Nice I got a brute, those are easy enough to predict, let me put his usefulness back to "low" until I have seen him fight.

"Why are you staring at me with those scary eyes of yours?" I said a bit unnerved by his expression.

"Ehm, this might sound strange, but have you died recently?" He asked me in a worried tone, I did not expect that kind of question.

"Have you seen me die recently?" hmm, maybe this guy has some sort of cheat item after all.

"Well…" He stopped talking all of a sudden before he fell over and started to hyperventilate. I caught him before he hit the ground. He was as pale as a ghost.

"Hey dude chill, what happened to you just now?" I asked a little worried.

"I s-saw t-this…" he abruptly stopped speaking and breathing as his face was etched with fear.

"HUUH, HOOH," Subaru took deep breaths as he snapped back to reality, or whatever he was doing. I would call him a weirdo, but he doesn't seem to be doing it on purpose.

"You know what, just don't tell me, I don't need to know," I said, letting him catch his breath, as his face regained its color.

He sat up looked around before he pushed me out of the way all of a sudden, "Hey! Wait up, HANG ON! PLEASE, WAIT FOR ME! WAIT UP! SATEEELLAA!" Subaru yelled out, while running after a silver-haired girl, making everyone around me look at him with fearful and disgusted looks at the mention of the name. This guy probably just said something really taboo. I think I am just going to leave him by himself for a moment. Oh, that alleyway looks enticing.

I went inside the alleyway as I could hear the people around me start to reprimand Subaru. When I couldn't hear anything I sat myself down on the stone stairs in the alleyway. It was then I realized something terrible, I had forgotten to take Subaru's bag of chips. "DAMNIT!" I exclaimed in frustration as I looked up to see three people standing in front of me.

"Cough up whatever you got and we won't have to hurt you!" A thin tallboy with blue-greyish hair commanded as his to companions did their best to look intimidating, the big guy kind of pulled it off because of his size, but the midget was hopeless. Why do I feel like I have seen these people before?

"Do you guys ever get that feeling of déjà vu?" I blurted out as I thought out loud.

"What are you talking about?" The big pile of meat queried a little dumbfounded by my question.

"Stop talking BS and just cough up your money!" the midget commanded which just made me laugh.

"Oh you think we are funny, let's see how funny you think this is," The middle guy threatened to pull out a knife, I had a feeling he had another one, but not certain why I felt that.

"Cool, let me take a closer look {Steal}," I chanted creating a blue light in my hand and the next second I held his knife and immediately started to inspect it. It was taken care of very well, seemed to be polished and sharpened regularly.

"Hey give that back!" Knife-boy yelled at me as he brandished his 2nd knife.

"Nah, but you can keep that one {Lurk}," I chanted as I disappeared from their view.

"Wait, did he just steal from us?" the brute pointed out.

"Was my favorite knife too," Knife-boy complained as I walked past them.

"Hey! Look over there, he is alone, let's rob him instead," The midget said as he pointed at Subaru, good god this man was unlucky, but let us see how he handles this situation.

"Give us all your money and valuables, or else we are going to have to hurt you, and I am in a bad mood so make it quick!" Knife-boy threatened as he brandished his 2nd knife, which didn't seem to face Subaru.

"JUST STOP IT ALREADY, NOBODY COULD BE THIS DAMN PERSISTENT," Subaru yelled at them, had he met them before or something.

"You think you can mouth off to us!?" Knife-boy asked rhetorically as he did a cool twirl with his knife, which also didn't face Subaru, he is either stupid or really brave.

"NOW MOVE IT! I have somewhere I have to go and you guys are in my way!" Subaru complained as he walked into the guy with the knife, and he got stabbed in the back. So it was stupidity after all. Luckily I caught him before he hit the ground, as the three robbers tried to process what just happened.

"YOU STABBED HIM!? Oh man, now you have done it," the brute complained, clearly hurting him was never the intention.

"IT JUST HAPPENED! He walked right into my blade," Knife-boy protested, as the midget tried to retrieve the knife from Subaru's back, but I stopped him with {Bind} as I quickly bound the other two.

"Calm your breathing Subaru and lay still I will get help, and you guys better scream for help too or else you are joining him," I threatened as I threw the knife right next to Knife-boy's head to reaffirm my point. Now scared they started to scream for help as I ran out of the alleyway to find a healer or something.

"I NEED A HEALER MY FRIEND HAS BEEN STABBED!" I yelled quickly grabbing the attention of the same silver-haired girl that Subaru had just insulted unknowingly. Tough luck, if she recognizes you bud and don't want to help but got no other choice.

"I can help!" She yelled, her voice eerily familiar to Megumin's, I gestured her to follow after me as I ran back into the alley.

"What happened here?" she asked as she laid eyes on the scenes.

"A robbery gone wrong, but I need your help with the safe removal of the knife and healing him," I listed as she got down on her knees next to Subaru, she either didn't care about his insult earlier or she didn't recognize him.

"Ok, I will slowly remove the knife as you heal him, understood?" I asked for confirmation as I put my hand to the knife.

"Understood!" Fake Megumin answered with full concentration.

A light started to shine from her hands as she put it down to the wound, as I began to remove the knife. Her healing wasn't exactly Aqua level, but it was better than nothing. The wound seemed to slowly put itself together, but that would leave a scar. Where is that useless goddess when you actually need her.

"That is all I can do for now, will he be alright with you?" Fakeumin asked in a worried tone.

"He is not bleeding anymore so that is a big improvement, I will leave these three for the authorities, maybe I can sell these knives somewhere," I said walking over to the robbers as they stared at me with fear etched into their faces as I removed the knife from the wall.

"Wait, I remember this guy, he was the one calling you Satella," A grey and white cat spoke up as it emerged from her silver hair.

"You are right Puck, maybe he knows how to find my insignia," Fakeumin realized.

"Wait, insignia, like a red gem in the middle?" I asked, don't know why that popped up in my head, but it did.

"How did you know that?" Puck asked me, now suspicious.

"I guessed," I simply retorted.

"Hmm, ok, do you have a way to wake him up quickly? We are kind of on a time crunch," Puck questioned.

"Sure {Freeze}," I put my finger near his neck as I sprayed him with cold air.

"COLD! AUCH, THAT HURTS!" Subaru woke up suddenly as he tried to get away from me, but quickly went on his knees as he clutched his now mostly healed wound.

"Don't move too much, I just healed you," Fakeumin reprimanded.

"So do you know who stole this girl's Insignia," I said pointing to Fakeumin.

"Ehm, well you see," Subaru had a hard time speaking the moment he looked at Fakeumin, why do I have the feeling he has fallen for her.

"Spit it out already, do you know or do you not know!" Puck hurried on snapping Subaru out of his trance.

"Her name is Felt, I know the way to where she is planning to sell your insignia," Subaru blurted out, sounding like he had dealt with this before. "Just follow me-AUCH," He again stumbled to his knees as he forgot about his wound.

"I will carry you, just tell me where to walk," I said lifting the guy up on my back.

And so followed the hour-long journey to the loot house, Subaru didn't know the exact directions so we had to wander a bit back and forth before we got there. It was almost like he only knew the way halfway like he had been distracted the first time he took the route.

"This is it," Subaru confidently declared from my back, he was much heavier than Megumin so when he stated that I dropped him immediately.

"OUCH! Why didn't you warn me?" Subaru complained as his ass hit the ground.

"My arms just gave out," I lied as I dramatically flung my arms around, which made Puck chuckle.

"Someone has to knock on the door, but we need a disguise for her," Subaru said pointing to Fakeumin.

"Put this on, even my best friend doesn't even recognize me with this on," I said handing her my mask.

"Oh, ok, so it is kind of like my cape," She blurted out as she put it on.

"Now knock on the door Kazuma," He instructed, as I did. Hearing some big footsteps coming towards the door.

"For a rat!?" A deep voice rang out through the door.

"Ehm, Poison," Subaru answered after thinking about it.

"For a whale!?" The voice rang out again.

"let me think, a harpoon," Subaru answered again.

"And the noble dragon lord?!" The voice said again, Subaru was clearly guessing correctly.

"Are bags of shit," Subaru answered as the door finally opened, to reveal a giant old man, sorry it was an enormous old man. I instinctively shot my hand down to my mithril rope.

"Who are you three?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes at us.

"We are here for the insignia Felt stole, and I have a metia with me that is worth at the very least 20 holy coins," Subaru explained as he pulled out a flip-phone.

"Let me take a look at that," The man said stretching out his enormous hand to Subaru, which Subaru promptly gave to him. I thought he was going to crush it for a second, but the man actually handled it with a surprising amount of care.

"How does it work?" The old man asked confused.

"Give it back and I will show you," Subaru gestured his hand as he got the phone returned to him, and Subaru instantly took a picture of the man, which angered him at first, because of the flash, but then Subaru showed him the picture of him, and the angry expression went away as curiosity returned.

"Hmm, yeah, I could definitively see this going for 20 holy coins, even more," He said as he studied it closer a 2nd time.

"Felt should be here in a bit, but since you knew the password, you can sit down and drink with me," He said gesturing to the bar, catching my interest immediately.

"Very well, nothing like a good drink, what do you have?" I asked intently.

"For you young one I got milk, while I got some beer if the lady or scary eyes would want some," He said as he sat down behind the bar.

"I don't drink, I am only 17," Subaru excused himself, which meant I couldn't drink, FUCK!

"Wait you are 17, I thought you were like max 13," Fakeumin blurted, which made me laugh uncontrollably.

"How old do you think Kazuma is?" Subaru asked pointing to me, which made me freeze as I waited for the answer.

"Ehm, like 20, because he seems to be so well adjusted in battle and he is taking care of you," Fakeumin guessed, oh blessed be Eris for this wonderful luck.

"Yes, that is completely correct, I would like one beer please," I calmly stated as I sat myself down by the bar, much to Subaru's shock, as he also sat down and started to drink his milk, while Fakeumin refrained from drinking anything.

"The beer is ok, what is your name?" I asked zipping the beer, which was worse than what I was used to, but hey FREE BEER.

"Name is Rom, you seem like a guy who has been out drinking before, based on how you handle the taste," Rom deduced as he took a big swig from his glass.

"That's right, have had to help my companion get home after our drunken nights," I proudly stated as I took my own swig.

"If you guys drink that hard while the sun is still up, you will die young," Subaru warned, which I just chuckled at, while Rom laughed heartily.

"I think my young days are over, so it doesn't matter to me," Rom answered with a big smile on his face.

"How much would you say this is worth?" I asked pulling out one of my 1M Eris coins.

"Hmm, a gold coin, but it doesn't seem to be the standard of Lugnica, so I would say… based on the weight, 50 holy silver coins," He explained as Subaru looked at me in shock, while Fakeumin stared at the gold coin.

After having our items appraised I heard 2 knocks on the door, as Rom went up to the door and did the same password routine. And in came a girl in a standard thief outfit, similar to Chris', she had golden blonde hair that was about shoulder length, only that her hair was tied up with a neat little black ribbon. The most striking feature I noticed was her eyes, crimson red eyes that reminded me of Megumin. Hell her body type was the same as Megumin's.

"Who are these three, I can't remember any of these people," Felt remarked, as she gestured to us, the mask was working as it usually does. Distorting voice and making it impossible to see who the person was.

"They are interested in the insignia you swiped," Rom informed, which made Fakeumin twitch involuntary.

"So, you guys are also interested in the insignia?" Felt questioned us as she got up closer to inspect us.

"Yeah, and we got things more valuable than what your original buyer can offer for the insignia," Subaru informed, he seemed to be in a hurry.

"Oh, do you now? Because my original buyer is offering me 10 holy silver coins for it," Felt proudly informed as she held up all 10 fingers.

"In that case Felt, the one with the creepy eyes has a metia worth at least 20 holy silver coins, but that guy in the green cape got gold worth at least 50 holy silver coins on him," Rom whispered the last part so we wouldn't hear it, but I used {Lip reading} to listen in on the conversation.

"So, you are interested in the insignia right?" Felt asked now clearly trying to test our interest, which both Subaru and Fakeumin fell for, while I stayed calm. Unless you could read my mind like Vanir, I was pretty hard to read.

"Yes, do you have it on you now?" Fakeumin asked as she got closer to the little girl, which made her instinctively back off.

"Calm it, sister, yes look, here it is," Felt presented the insignia and the red gem in the middle shone brightly, like Megumin's eyes when she gets excited. Stop thinking about Megumin.

"Oh, my," Fakeumin said as she stared on the red gem glowing, like in a trance.

"Of course, I have to wait for my original buyer, to see if she can offer a higher bid, but I will, of course, see you as business rivals,"

"Felt, she can't offer any higher than 20 holy silver coins, and this metia is worth at least that, hell Kazuma here has something worth 50 holy silver coins, just give back the insignia," Subaru got stressed and blurted out words he shouldn't have, "give back".

"What do you mean give back? Wait for a second, that dress, it is YOU!" Felt suddenly jumped back as she recognized Fakeumin.

"Well, I don't need this one anymore then," she said as she threw the mask back to me and summoned forth 6 big icicles as weapons.

"Silver hair, purple eyes, elf ears are you-" Felt voice was filled with growing fear as Fakeumin cut her off.

"It is just an unlucky resemblance, Felt was it, that insignia is priceless, not only to me, but also to you, if you would come with us freely we don't need to get into a fight, I promise you a much greater reward than anything that has been mentioned today," Fakeumin pleaded with the girl, and for some reason I felt that using {Lurk} right now would be smart.

"What kind of reward is that supposed to be?" Felt asked now on guard as she pulled out her blade.

"You will-"

"PUCK QUICK SHIELD HER!" Subaru suddenly yelled as a barrier popped up behind Fakeumin, barely able to shield the girl from a backstab, I would probably done the same if I was in the attacker's shoes, well it revealed itself to be a pretty smoking hot woman in high heels, so I would probably have stumbled in them.

"That was fast thinking, cutting it a bit closer than I would have wanted, but you saved us," Puck praised Subaru.

"My, my, so crowded it is here, with the owner of the insignia here we can't exactly do business can we?" The woman asked rhetorically as she brandished a pretty cool blade, she gave of a deadly aura I am more familiar with than I want.

"Zip it BITCH! I AM SICK OF YOUR CRAP, I HAVE BEEN STABBED ONCE TODAY ALREADY, AND I HAVE NO PLANS ON DOING IT AGAIN!" Subaru spoke like he had met this woman before and he had tussled with her earlier just to lose. There is something fishy about how much Subaru knows all of a sudden.

"Great information, so the little puppy is hurt, which means you will be the last one I take out," The woman smiled wickedly as she took a glance around the room, probably counting everyone. "4 plus a spirit, this should be fun," she silently whispered to herself, making me smile deviously.

"Now! Get her PUCK!" Subaru finally finished his rant as he pointed at the enemy. Then a whole fight with Fakeumin and Puck vs the voluptuous murderer ensued. I could explain the fight to you, but let us just skip to where I save the day.

"My how lovely I thought I was going to die," She said, which just was the perfect line for me to do my entry. So I brandished Chunchunmaru, (god damnit why did Megumin name this) as I used {Dash} to get behind her and did a simple stab to the neck, which made my blade stick out from her throat. Was it a dirty move, yes, did I win by doing it, also yes.

"You raised a flag," Subaru and I simultaneously remarked as I dodged away from her blade, and in a last-ditch effort she threw a throwing knife that hit Subaru in the right shoulder before she fell to the ground completely dead.

"Just to be sure," I said as I cut her head off with my two newly acquired knives.

"That BITCH, SHE HIT ME!" Subaru complained as he stared at the knife protruding from his shoulder.

"She didn't hit me," I remarked with a grin on my face as I felt something hot drip down my legs, and a burning sensation started to spread throughout my stomach. I looked down to see a big gash on my stomach.

"Wait, she actually did, I am going to need the healing first," I said with a dumb grin on my face, probably too much adrenaline in me to feel any more pain, as I fell to the ground and passed out.

/Subaru's POV

I didn't expect Kazuma to play things so dirty, but it works so who cares. If I remember correctly Kazuma got killed from behind by her, so by some form of poetic justice he killed her from behind this time. It was all fine and dandy until I got a knife stuck in my shoulder and Kazuma got his belly sliced open.

"Could you tell me your name?" I asked, not Satella as I sat down next to her while she was healing Kazuma.

"Sure, it is Emelia," She said in a hurried tone since she was occupied with Kazuma at the moment.

"So what are you going to do with Felt and old man Rom?"

"They are going to be guests at lord Roswall's mansion until further notice, I also have a friend there that can properly fix you both up," Emelia explained.

"Aren't you healing him now?" I asked a little confused.

"I am only stabilizing him, my friend can heal you both much better than anything I can do," She explained as Felt came over to us with Rom behind her.

"What do you mean by "guests until further notice"?" Felt asked a little suspicion present in her voice.

"I mean you get to eat and sleep at the mansion until we know what noble house that would want to represent you as the next ruler candidate," Emilia happily explained as I passed out from blood loss, while Felt and Rom passed out from shock.

A/N

In the next chapter, we will see what shenanigans they get up to in the mansion, but until then you can enjoy some of my other stories, like "The Iwatani family" or "The prologue to the Iwatani family." If you enjoy shield hero or Konosuba that is.