Half way through the first year at Hogwarts, James and Sirius are doing homework:
James: Hey Sirius, have you noticed anything odd about Remus?
Sirius: No. You?
James: No. Just asking. He's sick a lot, huh?
Peter: (Running in) What are you talking about?
James: Remus. Have you noticed anything about him, you know, unnatural?
Peter/Sirius: No.
James: Oh. Good. I'm glad to get that cleared up.
Lily: (Walking up) Hey James! Hey everyone. You look thoughtful. What happened?
James: Nothing. I just have this strange feeling that we don't know something about Remus.
Lily: Like what are you talking about?
James: Hmm . . . not sure, just some kind of secret.
Sirius: Maybe he's a super hero by night!
James: Nah.
Peter: I don't think there's anything.
Lily: Haven't you guys noticed that he goes away for the night once a month?
James: Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Sirius: Maybe he's a psycho killer . . . once a month!
James: That doesn't seem likely.
Sirius: Maybe he's a girl!
James: Don't think so.
Peter: Maybe he . . .
James: Anyway, why do you all think he does that? Plus, he's sick all the time.
Peter: I was saying, he could . . .
Sirius: Ok, maybe he's an elephant!
Lily/James: What?
Sirius: I dunno. I was out of ideas. You got anything, Peter?
Peter: Yes! I've been trying to say that he might . . .
Lily: Wait, wait, I've got an idea!
James: Yeah?
Lily: We could . . . dun dun dun . . . ASK HIM!
James/Sirius: Nah.
Peter: You guys, I think . . .
Remus: Hey everyone! What's going on?
Lily: We were just talking about, well, you.
Remus: What about me?
Lily: Well, you get sick a lot . . .
Remus: Oh.
Lily: And you go away once a month . . .
Remus: Yeah.
James: And you always know when the full moon is . . .
Remus: Um, yeah.
Sirius: So basically, we have no idea why.
Remus: What? You can't be serious.
Sirius: I'm very Sirius! Always am!
James: And you always get nervous when werewolves come up in Defense Against the Dark Arts . ..
Remus: Uh huh.
Lily: And you are always talking to the nurse about something secret . . .
Remus: Yes yes.
Peter: Yeah, what I was trying to say was . . .
Sirius: Really, what does it all mean?
James: We crave to know.
Lily: We can't figure it out
.
Remus: I don't believe this. You really can't?
James/Sirius/Lily: No.
Peter: But I . . .
Remus: Think about it for a minute. It'll come to you.
James: Hmm . . .
Lily: Huh.
Sirius: Maybe . . . no.
Peter: I think that . . .
Remus: Keeping thinking. You're bound to get it.
James: Just tell us.
Lily: Well, you're always hurt when you come back in the morning before you get to hospital wing .
. .
James: And you said one time that werewolves weren't evil, even though he thought they were . . .
Sirius: I'm still getting nothing.
Peter: Yes, which means . . .
James: There must be some clue that could lead us to know, I just can't think of it.
Lily: I just know we're missing something we should know about.
Peter: Yeah, you guys . . .
Sirius: This is bugging me now.
James: Let's see what else there is . . .
Lily: This is hard. Give us a hint?
Remus: Ok, here's a hint: I'M A BLOODY WEREWOLF!
Pause
James/Sirius/Lily: Oh . . .
James: He's a werewolf . . .
Sirius: Yeah, one of those . . .
Lily: Yeah, we should have know . . .
Peter: I knew!
James: It was so obvious.
Remus: Uh huh! Geez, I have to spell everything out for you.
Lily: So . . . what happens now?
Remus: Now I act all upset and say I'll leave if you feel uncomfortable around me.
James: Then what?
Remus: They you comfort me and say no way, you're still my friends.
Sirius: Cool. Then what?
Remus: Tell you what. We'll work it out when we get there.
James: Ok, go ahead.
Remus: (Clearing throat) Ok, I'll leave now, if you feel uncomfortable around me.
James: No way!
Sirius: We're your friends, really. There's no reason to go.
Lily: Yeah, you should have told us. We're your friends, right?
Remus: Yeah, ok, next time I get bitten I'll tell you. You're right.
Sirius: How 'bout a group hug now?
Pause
James: How 'bout not?
Lily: Yeah, that works.
Remus: Cool. Are we all ok now?
Peter: I was before.
James: Yeah, we're ok. I can't believe known of us saw this before!
Peter: I DID!
They all look at him
James: Then why didn't you say anything?
Peter: ARGHHHH!
Peter runs out. They all shrug and go back to doing homework.
James: Hey Sirius, have you noticed anything odd about Remus?
Sirius: No. You?
James: No. Just asking. He's sick a lot, huh?
Peter: (Running in) What are you talking about?
James: Remus. Have you noticed anything about him, you know, unnatural?
Peter/Sirius: No.
James: Oh. Good. I'm glad to get that cleared up.
Lily: (Walking up) Hey James! Hey everyone. You look thoughtful. What happened?
James: Nothing. I just have this strange feeling that we don't know something about Remus.
Lily: Like what are you talking about?
James: Hmm . . . not sure, just some kind of secret.
Sirius: Maybe he's a super hero by night!
James: Nah.
Peter: I don't think there's anything.
Lily: Haven't you guys noticed that he goes away for the night once a month?
James: Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Sirius: Maybe he's a psycho killer . . . once a month!
James: That doesn't seem likely.
Sirius: Maybe he's a girl!
James: Don't think so.
Peter: Maybe he . . .
James: Anyway, why do you all think he does that? Plus, he's sick all the time.
Peter: I was saying, he could . . .
Sirius: Ok, maybe he's an elephant!
Lily/James: What?
Sirius: I dunno. I was out of ideas. You got anything, Peter?
Peter: Yes! I've been trying to say that he might . . .
Lily: Wait, wait, I've got an idea!
James: Yeah?
Lily: We could . . . dun dun dun . . . ASK HIM!
James/Sirius: Nah.
Peter: You guys, I think . . .
Remus: Hey everyone! What's going on?
Lily: We were just talking about, well, you.
Remus: What about me?
Lily: Well, you get sick a lot . . .
Remus: Oh.
Lily: And you go away once a month . . .
Remus: Yeah.
James: And you always know when the full moon is . . .
Remus: Um, yeah.
Sirius: So basically, we have no idea why.
Remus: What? You can't be serious.
Sirius: I'm very Sirius! Always am!
James: And you always get nervous when werewolves come up in Defense Against the Dark Arts . ..
Remus: Uh huh.
Lily: And you are always talking to the nurse about something secret . . .
Remus: Yes yes.
Peter: Yeah, what I was trying to say was . . .
Sirius: Really, what does it all mean?
James: We crave to know.
Lily: We can't figure it out
.
Remus: I don't believe this. You really can't?
James/Sirius/Lily: No.
Peter: But I . . .
Remus: Think about it for a minute. It'll come to you.
James: Hmm . . .
Lily: Huh.
Sirius: Maybe . . . no.
Peter: I think that . . .
Remus: Keeping thinking. You're bound to get it.
James: Just tell us.
Lily: Well, you're always hurt when you come back in the morning before you get to hospital wing .
. .
James: And you said one time that werewolves weren't evil, even though he thought they were . . .
Sirius: I'm still getting nothing.
Peter: Yes, which means . . .
James: There must be some clue that could lead us to know, I just can't think of it.
Lily: I just know we're missing something we should know about.
Peter: Yeah, you guys . . .
Sirius: This is bugging me now.
James: Let's see what else there is . . .
Lily: This is hard. Give us a hint?
Remus: Ok, here's a hint: I'M A BLOODY WEREWOLF!
Pause
James/Sirius/Lily: Oh . . .
James: He's a werewolf . . .
Sirius: Yeah, one of those . . .
Lily: Yeah, we should have know . . .
Peter: I knew!
James: It was so obvious.
Remus: Uh huh! Geez, I have to spell everything out for you.
Lily: So . . . what happens now?
Remus: Now I act all upset and say I'll leave if you feel uncomfortable around me.
James: Then what?
Remus: They you comfort me and say no way, you're still my friends.
Sirius: Cool. Then what?
Remus: Tell you what. We'll work it out when we get there.
James: Ok, go ahead.
Remus: (Clearing throat) Ok, I'll leave now, if you feel uncomfortable around me.
James: No way!
Sirius: We're your friends, really. There's no reason to go.
Lily: Yeah, you should have told us. We're your friends, right?
Remus: Yeah, ok, next time I get bitten I'll tell you. You're right.
Sirius: How 'bout a group hug now?
Pause
James: How 'bout not?
Lily: Yeah, that works.
Remus: Cool. Are we all ok now?
Peter: I was before.
James: Yeah, we're ok. I can't believe known of us saw this before!
Peter: I DID!
They all look at him
James: Then why didn't you say anything?
Peter: ARGHHHH!
Peter runs out. They all shrug and go back to doing homework.