Hey-o! Sorry this chapter's a couple weeks late, but I was a little busy...vegging seaside at a waterfront Baroque villa on the Ligurian coast. :p (It was extremely discounted because of COVID. *London Tipton voice from Suite Life of Zack and Cody* Yay, me!)

I owe a HUGE thank you to my beta team, whats-up-everybody and dp-marvel94 on Tumblr and Starlin's Ghost and DPTTrocks here on Fanfiction.

If you would like a visual aid in understanding the layouts of the Parkers and Fentons' apartments, you can go check out a floor plan I made to help myself block out the action (along with some notes about my process) on my Tumblr agentianlegend. (Do take note that this was hand drawn and slightly out of proportion; the Parker's apartment should be about 2/3 of its current size in relation to the Fentons' place.) Replace the spaces with periods for the post address: agentianlegend tumblr com/post/625285222584483840/dp-x-mcu-spiderman-fire-with-fire-fic-diagram

Keep a sharp eye out for Easter eggs and references. There's a CRAP ton this month.

Timeline Notes

- Danny Phantom: This takes place after seasons 1 and 2 which cover Danny's freshman year. We pick up before any of the action in season 3 unless otherwise noted.

- MCU: It begins immediately following the Clash of the Avengers at the airport in Berlin, putting this story in 2016 in the MCU timeline

General Notes

"This is dialogue."

"This is alternative dialogue, meaning whispered or spoken from a distance such as on the phone."

'This is thought.'

This and THIS and *this* are emphasis. The *this* emphasis is more along the lines of the snarky or sarcastic.

[This is digital text, such as notifications on a computer or smartphone. It also represents A.I. voices, such as Karen or F.R.I.D.A.Y./"Friday" (because I really don't feel like typing out the full acronym with periods every time she comes up).]

I do not own Danny Phantom nor Spider-Man.

Ch. 03 originally published: Friday, August 7, 2020

FIRE WITH FIRE

03 - Welcome to Queens

George Washington Bridge, New York City, NY — Saturday September 2, 17:45

Jazz sighed and slumped against the car's side window. A quick glance at the speedometer confirmed it: 0 mph. "Hey, let's move on Labor Day weekend. That's a GREAT idea."

Her cell phone's ringtone began playing over the stereo before Siri announced: [Call from: Mother - Cell]

Jazz accepted the call. "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, Jazz!" came her mother's voice over the speakers.

"Hey, Jazzypants!" her father added. "You're on speaker!"

"How are you kids holding up?" Maddie asked.

"Oh, we're fine." Jazz added with a sigh, "Bored, but fine."

"Killer traffic, huh?" Maddie agreed. "Well, it's only another half an hour before we arrive, so hang in there!"

"Half an hour?!" Jazz protested. "But we're already in the city! We're practically there!"

"Welcome to urban living, Jazzy," Jack replied with the slightest grumble.

Jazz sighed again.

"How about you, Danny? Are you doing alright?" Maddie asked.

Jazz froze in her seat before sending a furtive glance to the passenger seat. "Oh, he's, uh…asleep."

"How is he sleeping through this conversation? Are we not on speaker?" Maddie asked before gasping. "Jasmine Fenton, are you talking on your phone while driving?! We explicitly said you were only allowed to drive the other car if you use Bluetooth for-"

"No! Mom! Don't worry, he's wearing his noise-cancelling earphones."

"Well, alright, if you say so. Just—take in some city views as we cross into the city! We won't always have such a nice view of the West Side!"

"I've been taking in the city views for ten minutes!" Jazz snapped.

"We'll call you after we cross into Astoria, alright?"

"Fine. I can't wait to be there."

"Bye, Jazz. Love you!"

"Love you too." Jazz ended the call.

Almost on cue, the barometric pressure inside the car shifted slightly, and Danny materialized in the vacant passenger seat with a white to-go bag in hand.

"You get the stuff?" Jazz asked.

"Yep!" Danny replied with a pop on the 'P.' He clicked his seatbelt back in place and fished out a goodie for Jazz. "Magnolia Bakery, right where you said it would be. Google Maps didn't really understand being able to fly over city blocks instead of walking at street level, but whatever."

"Thank God. This traffic is killing me." Jazz gladly took the offered pastry bag. "At least it's only another few weeks until you start driving lessons."

"Definitely not looking forward to learning to drive in freakin' New York City."

"Oh, Mom called. You were napping with your earphones on if she asks."

43rd Street, Sunnyside — One Hour of Traffic Later...

The elevator dinged at the seventh floor. Each Fenton tumbled out with suitcases and bags in hand.

"Alright, Fentons, we're looking for 7A!" Jack announced. The patriarch glanced to the right in search of their apartment door.

"Dad, it's over here," Danny said and led the way to the left.

Danny produced his copy of the apartment key and opened the craftsman-style door, revealing a quaint apartment which Stark Industries had furnished for them. One of the bedrooms opened directly across from the front door, and the entryway opened perpendicularly onto a formal dining area. To the right of the table was the main living space with numerous windows looking out into the canopies of the street-side trees beyond.

Danny meandered into the kitchen to the left of the dining area. An archway connecting the two spaces had a counter peninsula and breakfast bar filling most of it. The kitchen itself was very spacious, wrapping behind the elevator shaft, and glistened with a hypermodern aesthetic. The kitchen led to a hallway beyond another arch which looped to the far end of the dining area.

Maddie peeked her head out of the hallway. "We'll take the master off the kitchen," she said, "but you two decide between the others."

"I call this room!" Jazz announced from the far end of the living room. "Danny, you get the one by the door."

"Oh, you mean the one by the hallway? The one which gets to listen to the elevator ding all day?" Danny sassed. "Thank you; so generous."

Jazz came up to the bar and leaned far over the counter. "Yeah, and a lot closer to the front door if you need to sneak in or out on foot," she hissed and walked around the bar and built-in cabinets at the end. She said in a louder voice, "I'm going back down for another load."

"Meet you down there," Danny replied and shuffled into his room.

It was a pleasant enough space. The room was L-shaped, hooking off to the right around the neighboring apartment. To Danny's immediate left was a closet with sliding doors. Just beyond it was the bed occupying the remaining length of the left-hand wall. Straight ahead were two vertically sliding windows overlooking the street, one of which opened onto a fire escape, while a third opened adjacent to them on the far right-hand wall. A desk occupied the corner with a dresser pressed up against the inside of the L's shorter leg. It wasn't a large space, especially compared to Danny's room back in Amity Park, but their apartment was in the heart of Sunnyside, after all.

"Well," Danny mused to no one in particular and tossed his backpack onto the bed, "I guess I'm home."

Danny decided to open all three windows to air out the stale air which had collected since it was last occupied. On opening the third window overlooking the building's entryway, he heard a terrific crash from the neighboring apartment. The second window down was open, and there was some sort of kerfuffle happening inside which was disturbing the curtains.

"Hey, Mom?" Danny called back inside, "do we know anything about the neighbors?"

"Other than there's a boy your age on this floor, no!" she replied from the bowels of the apartment.

Danny returned his attention to the window. It was now closed, and the curtains were just settling. Some movement at the roofline caught his eye, but it was too late for him to identify anything.

"Hey!" Jazz barked from the walkway down below, "Quit bird watching and help me carry our stuff upstairs!"

"Ugh, are you capable of being not annoying for at least two seconds?!" Danny shouted down.

"It's been a whole minute!" she replied.

"You were in the *elevator!* It doesn't count!" Danny snapped and withdrew from the window in a huff.

Danny looked around the room. It felt too lifeless. All the walls were still barren, and the room lacked any sense of belonging to him. The boy turned around and crashed straight into the wall. "This room is too small!" he complained to nobody in particular. Danny then unboxed some hanging clothes and shoved them in the closet before thrusting a box against the wall using his sneaker.

"Mom, what's for dinner? I'm hungry!" Danny called out into the apartment.

"It's too early for dinner," Jazz answered, exiting her room with a few books to put on the living room shelves.

Danny woke up his phone. "It's 7:00 already!"

"Dinner here isn't until, like, 9:00," Jazz said.

"That's ridiculous!"

"Welcome to New York," the girl replied as she returned to her room.

"I grabbed a couple frozen dinners at the store just in case," Maddie replied from the master bedroom. "Have one of those, and then we'll go out later."

Stalking to the kitchen, Danny grumbled to himself, "Frozen dinners. Move all the way from Middle o' Nowhere, Ohio to the biggest city in the US, and my only choice is a frozen dinner." He ripped open the freezer and paused after grabbing one of the boxed meals. He groaned and shouted, "Why did you get Kid Cuisine?! Who even eats Kid Cuisine in this family?! I'm fifteen!"

"Just shut up and eat it!" Jazz barked.

"I was talking to Mom!"

"You were shouting at everybody!"

"Kids, stop arguing!" their mother shouted.

"This apartment is smaller than my old bedroom!" Danny snapped. "Every conversation we ever have is going to be with everybody!"

The doorbell buzzed.

"WHAT?!" Danny snapped, then realized, "…Oh." He went to the door and opened it. "Hi."

"Hi," the patiently waiting woman greeted.

Danny took in her straight brown hair, voluptuous figure and 80s mom jeans and quickly classified her as…an indelicate designation for attractive maternal figures. She held a foil-covered plate in her hands.

"I'm May Parker, your neighbor in 7B," the woman said and then peeked around the door jamb to see if someone else was there. "I'm not interrupting a fight, am I?" she asked.

"Oh, no, just…I've been in more spacious broom closets," Danny joked. "Come on in, Mrs. Parker. Though we're not really settled in yet."

"Thank you." May came inside and casually glanced around the common space. "I heard you guys were moving in today and made some cookies to welcome you to the building."

"Oh, praise God. I don't have to eat Kid Cuisine!" Danny exclaimed and gleefully took the plate from her.

Maddie and Jack came out of the master suite. "Hello?" came Maddie's tentative greeting.

"Hi! I'm May Parker. From 7B?" May said and shook Maddie's hand.

"I'm Maddie and this is my husband Jack," Maddie replied.

"Charmed," May said as she shook Jack's hand.

"Is it just you next door?" Jack asked.

"No, I have my nephew, Peter. He's out right now; otherwise, I would've dragged him along to say hi."

"Oh, just you and your nephew?" Maddie commented.

"Yeah. It used to be the three of us, until last year when his uncle, uh—" May's voice dropped off.

Jack and Maddie exchanged a knowing glance. "Well, Jack's here if you ever need the help of a man around the house," Maddie offered.

May smiled. "I thought I was supposed to lend you the helping hand," she said.

"Ha ha, no! I'm pretty handy," Jack said and leaned in conspiratorially. "Built a whole basement lab myself, you know."

"Not completely by yourself," Maddie reminded him through a false smile.

Jack chuckled and threw an arm around his wife. "Well, I'm good for grunt work and mechanical stuff, anyway."

"A lab?" May asked. "Are you scientists?"

"Ectologists," Maddie replied.

May nodded, though it was obvious she didn't quite understand.

"We study ectoplasmic-based beings and their parallel dimension via quantum bridging."

May appeared even more lost.

"Ghosts!" Jack stated proudly. "We study and hunt ghosts."

May's eyes widened momentarily before she schooled the stupor from her expression. "Well, to be fair, that's not the strangest profession I've heard of, living in Queens."

"And now we're officially not crazy!" Jack added.

"We just signed an R&D contract with Stark Industries for a year," Maddie explained. "That's why we moved here from Ohio."

"Oh, I see," May said. "Didn't I read somewhere that they're selling Stark Tower though?"

"Avengers Tower, and yes," Maddie said. "But Stark Industries will continue to occupy twenty floors of lab space indefinitely."

"And what do you do?" Jack asked.

"I'm a nurse over at Mount Sinai Queens in Astoria, though I volunteer at the VA clinic too. It's only a couple blocks away from here."

"Well that's good news," Maddie said. "Danny's always coming home with scrapes and injuries. It'll be nice to know someone's nearby in case something beyond simple first aid is necessary."

"Really? What sort of trouble does he get up to?" May asked with a glance at the suddenly sheepish Danny.

"Oh, nothing too serious, I'm sure," Maddie replied, also resting her gaze on her son.

Danny finished chewing a mouthful of cookie and swallowed it, chuckling nervously. "I'm just…super clumsy."

Jack guffawed and slapped Danny on the shoulder, sending a cookie on the plate's edge tumbling to the floor. "This poor kid started breaking so many dishes last year, we had to buy disposable till he got better!"

May laughed and then moved towards the door. "Well, I hope you enjoy your time here in New York. Why don't you all come over for dinner after you've settled in? Sometime next week."

"Oh, that would be great!" Maddie cooed. "Wouldn't it, Jack?"

"If there's fudge, I'm in!" the man replied.

Maddie rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'll get out of your hair for now," May said, "and hopefully Peter will materialize sometime soon so I can introduce you. Oh! Maddie, remind me later to add you to the Sunnyside Moms Facebook group."

"Sounds great, Mrs. Parker," Maddie said.

"Oh, call me May," the woman cheerily corrected. "Bye now!"

"Bye!" Danny called from his perch on the arm of the sofa as he inhaled another cookie.

Sunnyside — Sunday, 08:25

Danny awoke rather peacefully for a change. His bedroom's windows let in ambient morning light, given the fact he had apparently forgotten to shut the blinds before falling asleep. He eventually motivated himself to roll over and check the time on his phone.

*SLAM*

"Ow!" Danny winced in pain and opened his eyes. His new bed being pushed up into the corner meant that the nightstand in his Amity Park bedroom's layout had been replaced with a wall. He rolled the other way and opened his eyes, locating his phone on the edge of the desk right next to his head.

After responding to a couple texts from Sam and Tucker, Danny soon motivated himself to get out of bed and go in search of breakfast. Still half-asleep, he shuffled out of his bedroom and froze upon seeing everyone in the common space. Jazz lounged on the sofa with a steaming mug of tea while Jack drank coffee next to her. The lighthearted banter of Daybreak with Mike Pomeroy and Colleen Peck emanated from the TV.

"Good morning, Danny!" Maddie greeted from the kitchen. A pan sizzled behind her. "Breakfast in ten."

"…What's going on?" Danny asked, his head bobbing like a confused chicken.

"What are you talking about, Danno?" Jack asked.

"It's 8:30 in the morning and everyone's here," the boy answered.

"Well, our work and your school don't start till Tuesday," Jack replied. "What's so strange about that?"

"The last time we had a normal, quiet morning at home as a family was…never," Danny said.

"Well, this contract with Stark Industries could be a godsend," Maddie said. "We've been sorely lacking in bonding time as a family, apart from that ill-fated desert camping trip last spring. Moving to Queens is probably the best thing we could do to rebuild the Fenton family unit."

Danny unfroze and went to get himself some coffee. "Yay, more time up in each other's business," he muttered.

"Would it really be so awful to learn a little more about each other?" Maddie chided.

Danny left the question unanswered.

After a morning of unpacking and settling in, Danny was getting stir-crazy. He decided to scout the neighborhood as an excuse to get out of the house. He laced up his shoes and announced, "I'm going exploring. See you guys later."

"Okay, be safe!" Maddie answered from the living area. "Take some money in case you get hungry. Be back by dinner, okay?"

"Okay," Danny agreed, for the first time feeling confident in being able to make the curfew.

Manhattan — Ten Minutes Later

Danny Phantom rocketed down Broadway. His previous venture into the city to get pastries from Magnolia Bakery had been far too quick for him to enjoy the sights. The boy marveled at the glittering beauty of the skyscrapers around him, reflecting and dodging the afternoon sun's rays into the city's iconic concrete canyons. He arced over Central Park and turned down Broadway. Times Square's bright billboards and bustling street level reflected in Phantom's luminescent eyes, and a smile graced his face as he continued south towards Avengers Tower.

"WOO!" Spider-Man whooped as he swung around Avengers Tower, grateful for a chance to play around Midtown until a sudden mental tingling threw off his rhythm.

"Whoa!"

"OOF!"

Spider-Man and another boy slammed full-force into each other. In a fleeting nanosecond, they both gasped as they hovered momentarily before gravity intervened.

Danny Phantom recognized that they were beginning to plummet sixty-odd stories to the ground at about the same time as the other hero.

"Oh crap!" they exclaimed simultaneously, as each fumbled to get ahold of the other.

"Hold on, I got you!" they once again shouted in unison.

All at once, the ghost warped himself through the air to catch the other teen just as a red and blue clad arm extended instinctively, shooting a web at Phantom to save him. Unfortunately, this caused both boys to collide again with greater force, and they plummeted further.

"Oh, come on, this is ridiculous!" Phantom moaned. Just before either could splat against the crowds below, he wrapped his arms firmly around the local's spandexed torso and turned them both intangible so they would fall through the masses rather than onto them.

Spider-Man began to hyperventilate, it being his first time existing inside solid earth. "Holy sh-!"

"Calm down, we're not dead yet!" Phantom insisted.

Phantom redirected them upwards, and Spider-Man briefly marveled at the darkened environment engulfing them. Subway tunnels deep below, underground infrastructure and the sidewalks, vehicles, pedestrians and skyscrapers above surrounded them in wispy, X-ray-like aquamarine outlines. They resurfaced, the world returned to normal and his ghostly companion took them to the top of the nearest skyscraper. He set Spider-Man down and landed a couple of feet away.

"Are you okay?" they chorused. While dusting off their costumes, they both looked up angrily at each other's words.

"Hey, quit copying me!" they snapped as their final unison cry.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," Phantom blurted, but visibly brightened when he saw the jinx had been broken. "Who are you?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Danny Phantom. Do you seriously not know who I am? I thought the whole world was after the ghost kid from Ohio," he commented drily.

"Ghost? You-you're a ghost?"

"Well...yeah? Isn't it obvious?"

"You're not glowing..."

"Yes I am!" Phantom retorted and gestured down at himself. His self-righteousness dimmed upon noting the glare of the afternoon sun. "Well, I am, but you just can't see it super well because of the sun."

"If you say so."

"Dude, of course I'm a ghost. I was flying when you hit me."

"I hit you?! You hit me!" Spider-Man argued with a dramatic flail of his hands.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Phantom crossed his arms. "Well if I did, it was an accident, because who else would I expect to be flying sixty stories above the ground anyway?"

"Next to Avengers Tower? Where there are Avengers? Who fly?" the local hero pointed out.

"That's—that's fair. Alright, so let's just call it a *mutual hitting* of each other at the same time," Phantom suggested.

"Fine."

"So, who are you then? Wait a minute...you're the Spider-Kid!"

"Spider-Man," the local hero mumbled with contempt and sheepishly shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Spider…Man?! You're younger than I am!" Phantom laughed.

"Hey, come on, dude, I got an image to keep up," Spider-Man whined. "No one would take a fift- uh, a young...guy seriously."

" 'Fift-'? You're fifteen?"

"No!" the webslinger spat before hesitating. "...Maybe. So? How old are you?"

"No one really knows," Phantom replied with a shrug.

"Wouldn't you know, though?"

"Eh. So what if I do? It keeps the mystery alive, which matters when you have multiple government agencies gunning for you."

"Oh. That must suck."

"Meh. Such is life. Or...after-life." Suddenly, a short burst of music came from Phantom's pocket and he whipped out a cell phone, his eyes rolling at whatever alert showed up. "Well, looks like I gotta go. See you around, Spider-Man! And don't worry about the age thing," he added as he lifted off, his legs disappearing into a ghostly tail. "And just so you know: I was 14."

"But when were you 14?" Spider-Man asked nobody, as the ghost had already shot off towards Queens. His thoughts stopped altogether on one particularly confusing realization. "Wait…why does a ghost need a cell phone?"

"HEY!"

Spider-Man leaped, twisting in the air to face the source of the outburst and landing in a defensive stance. He dropped his defenses slightly upon recognition. "Happy?"

"You're not supposed to be here! What are you doing on Avengers Tower?" Happy Hogan barked, emerging from the roof access door. "The security system has been going crazy."

"I just ran into a ghost and we saved each other," Spider-Man explained.

"You saved a ghost?"

"Well, we were falling-"

"Was it another dementia thing?" Happy interrupted.

"Dementor, and no. He said his name was Danny Phantom?"

"Wait...Danny Phantom? Are you sure?" Happy asked and pulled out his phone. He opened a holographic image and held it up. "This guy?"

Spider-Man's eye apertures squinted as he leaned in for a look. "Yeah, that's him."

Happy sighed. "Stay away from that spook until we know more. Tony's investigating him."

"Why?"

"Phantom is very powerful and very unpredictable. One day, he's saving a bus of kids from drowning; the next, he's kidnapping the mayor."

"He seemed nice enough to me…"

"Look, kid, we don't know him, and we don't trust him. So just be careful for now, alright? We brought in some ghost experts from Phantom's town to help."

"Help what?"

"Fight, understand, work with...whatever. Now get out of here; I have to finish setting up the new ghost lab."

Calvary Cemetery, Queens — Monday, 15:10

"Okay keep walking," Tucker instructed.

Danny sighed and switched his phone to the other hand, his arm hurting from holding it up for the active video call. "Why again are you having me walk through a cemetery on my last day of freedom before school starts?"

"Just trust me. Right here."

Danny turned right onto a side path which arced under a tree back in the direction from which he'd come.

"Alright, now up the hill to your left a bit...aaaaannnnd…stop! Now look back down towards the mausoleums under the trees."

"Hey, look...a road."

"But do you know *which* road?"

"Should I?"

Tucker shoved a couple cheese puffs into his cheeks and squinted his eyes. "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse," he rasped.

Danny's eyes widened, and the boy gasped. "Oh my god! It's The Godfather! Don Corleone, he's buried here?! This is awesome, Tuck!"

"Right?!"

Danny noticed some quick movement just beyond the trees. A figure had been kneeling at a grave but took off before Danny could identify them. "Huh, that's weird."

"What?"

"Somebody else was here but they ran away."

"What grave were they looking at?" Tucker asked.

"Lemme see." Danny strode along the path to the approximate location where he'd seen the movement. "There's a newer headstone here. The rest are all pretty old."

"Who is it?"

Danny leaned in for a better look. "Benjamin Parker. Died last year. He wasn't that old, either."

"Poor guy."

"Yeah. I wonder who was here, though? They took off really fast when they saw me."

"Who knows? I will say this, though: Ben Parker totally scored when it came to his plot's location."

"You always find the silver lining, don't you, Tuck?" Danny teased with an eye roll.

Avengers Tower, Manhattan — 17:30

"Well done, Happy," Tony surmised with an approving nod.

"Thank you, sir."

The lab space was virtually ready for the Fentons to occupy. There were expansive countertops, multiple stations, and hermetically sealed, reinforced environments, in addition to a large alcove for the construction of a portal or storage of large machinery should either be necessary. One wall offered panoramic views of Broadway, another an overlook for the larger training bay and workshop below.

"Friday, are the Fentons' biometrics in the tower security database?"

[Not yet, boss,] the A.I. replied. [I will configure their credentials when they arrive in the morning.]

"And not a moment too soon," Tony drawled. "You said Phantom was here?"

"That's what Peter told me," Happy said. "Phantom had already left before I got to the roof, but the kid positively ID'd him when I showed him a photo."

"That's not good. The Fentons haven't even set foot in the tower and the wild card is already staking out the place. Their first priority is updating Friday's security systems to detect and defend against ghost infiltration."

"How long will that take?"

"Friday?" Tony asked, looking absently at the ceiling.

[I already logged an unknown reading yesterday afternoon when Phantom was here. Once the Fentons provide a full breakdown of ectoplasmic energy signatures and calibrate my systems to recognize it, it'll be a matter of minutes to have the tower on alert.]

"And then to get the shields up?"

[As long as it takes for the Fentons to fabricate the hardware. Once I have the schematics, we can have the components printed and machined within hours.]

"For once, everything's going according to plan," Happy said.

[He still hasn't contacted Miss Potts.]

"Almost everything," Happy quipped with an arched eyebrow. "You know she'll want to hear you're doing better."

Tony sighed. "Way to rat me out, Friday."

[Would you like to see how quickly you fall apart without me, boss?]

Sunnyside — Tuesday, September 6, 02:00

Danny jolted awake to the sound of sirens. He leapt out of bed and rushed to the window. A branch obscured his view, so he threw his door open and sprinted to the windows in the living room, tripping over the cord of a floor lamp in the process.

Jazz's bedroom door creaked open. "Danny?" his sister croaked. "What's wrong?"

"Sirens! Something's wrong! There's an emergency!"

"Danny, those are the third sirens this hour," Jazz deadpanned. "Welcome to life in the city. Go back to sleep and rest up for school tomorrow. ...Today."

Jazz went back into her room and slammed the door. Danny, now feeling awkward and coming down from an adrenaline high, made his way back to his bedroom and collapsed into the mattress. He sighed and tried to fall back asleep.

A barely-sentient, fully dressed zombie emerged from Danny's room at 7:00 Tuesday morning. Danny shuffled across the living room towards the shared bath and found Jazz already applying moisturizer to her face at the sink.

"Jazz."

She turned to face her brother without stopping. "Good morning, Danny. Did you sleep well after the sirens?"

Danny waited for her to understand whatever he was trying to communicate.

"What is it?" she asked and returned her attention to the mirror.

"Can this wait? I'd like to get ready too."

"No it cannot wait," she said and picked up her foundation. "I care a lot more about looking good for the first day than you do, so I get dibs."

"But I do have to get ready," Danny insisted.

"In a minute."

"Jazz-" Danny began, setting his cell phone onto the counter and shoving further into the bathroom.

"I'm a little busy!"

"Jazz, you have a free first period. You don't even have to get to school until later!"

"Geez, Danny. Will you chill out for, like, two seconds?" Jazz demanded and began trying to force him out of the bathroom.

"No, Jazz, I need to get ready too!" he snapped, fighting against her for control of the sink.

"No! I was here first, you little twerp!" she growled. "Unlike you, *I* actually have to put effort into my appearance because I want to make a good impression."

"What, you think this just *happens*?" Danny sassed.

"You're being ridiculous!" Jazz bit out.

"You're being ridiculous! You don't even normally wear makeup!"

"NO!" Jazz hooked the back of Danny's ankle with her foot and shoved his chest, sending him off-balance. Jazz forced Danny out of the room as he stumbled.

Danny quickly recovered, but the door slammed and locked in his face. "Augh, why did you choose THIS morning to all of a sudden start acting like a girl?!" Danny huffed. He briefly considered phasing back in and overshadowing Jazz out of the way until his mother came out of the master suite with a coffee mug in hand. He turned his attention back to the bathroom door and asked, "Will you at least give me my phone back?"

The door popped open to reveal Jazz holding his phone in one hand and her foundation in the other. Danny used the opportunity to shove against the door and destabilize his sister. Jazz flailed for balance and dropped the foundation in her haste. It smudged against Danny's left red Converse and clattered across the tile.

Jazz gasped loudly. "Danny, you little brat!"

Danny took in an identical gasp. He turned his head and yelled at the kitchen, "MOM! Jazz got her makeup all over my shoes!"

"It wasn't my fault; Danny shoved me!" Jazz yelled after him.

"Kids!" Maddie snapped and came to the kitchen threshold. Her hair was pulled back into a tidy bun, and she sported an uncharacteristic pantsuit in preparation for her appointment at Stark Tower. She appraised the situation and chided, "What has gotten into you two?"

Jazz frowned while Danny positively glowered.

"It'll take us a while to find our new routine in the mornings. Your father and I actually have to commute now, so we don't have time to solve your squabbles. Danny, do you have any other shoes? Didn't you pack that pair of Vans?"

"I can't wear those to school! They're the only spotless things I own!" Danny complained. "And they're pure white!"

"Well, good thing Labor Day was only yesterday," Maddie quipped and went back to the kitchen.

"I meant they'll get messed up inst-"

Maddie, however, had already returned to the kitchen.

Danny released a loud groan. Jazz shoved his phone against his chest and slammed the bathroom door once more.

The door to apartment 7B opened just as Danny pressed the call button for the elevator. Another teen boy emerged wearing a preppy sweater over a collared shirt and carrying a backpack which had seen better days. Danny was barely able to notice the boy's wavy brown hair and fair skin from behind his own squinted eyelids.

The other boy strode over and stood abreast of Danny in wait of the elevator. He bounced on the balls of his feet before looking sideways and saying, "Sup?"

"Bite me," Danny mumbled.

The other boy's bouncing stopped. "…What?"

Danny seemed to suddenly realize where he was. "Oh…sorry, was that out loud?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Sorry. Sirens kept me up, plus I haven't had enough coffee yet. I'm dead this morning, and you're way too hyper. Maybe you should drink *less* coffee."

"Oh, I don't drink coffee!" the other guy replied.

Danny's face fell into a deadpan as the elevator doors slid open. Both boys got inside, and Danny pressed the button for the ground floor. He yelped and braced himself against the walls when the elevator dropped about a foot before its mechanism caught itself and lowered it at a normal pace.

"What the hell was that?!" Danny asked.

"Oh, it does that a couple times a month," the other boy replied. "Don't worry about it."

"It's a metal cage that's like a hundred feet off the ground; why the hell wouldn't I worry?!"

"You're the new kid, aren't you?" the brunet guessed. He extended his hand. "The name's Parker. Peter Parker."

"Cool it, double-O seventh; it's too early for that crap," Danny drawled but returned the handshake. "Danny Fenton."

"Nice to meet you."

The elevator opened onto the ground floor, and Danny followed Peter to the street. "Well, see ya later," Danny said.

"See ya."

Both boys turned the same way, and Peter faltered while Danny trudged ahead. Danny turned around to see Peter obviously pretending to check his phone.

"You're going this way, too, aren't you," Danny stated.

"Uuuuhhhhh, yeah, yes I am," Peter said and nodded.

"This is going to be really awkward now."

Peter continues incessantly bobbing his head. "Yes, yes it is."

"I'm taking the 7 subway towards 40th Street."

"As am…I," Peter affirmed.

"Cool."

"Cool."

They stood in a silent, purposeless standoff.

"I'll…show you a good cafe for emergency coffee and donuts on the way?" Peter suggested.

"I thought you don't drink coffee?"

"How do you think I realized I don't need to drink it?"

"…Fair enough."

The subway carriage lurched, sending Danny scrambling for a grip. A single drop of coffee splashed out of the spout of Danny's to-go cup and plummeted towards Danny's left shoe. Danny noticed in time, though, and hurriedly shifted his foot out of the way. A second lurch, however, made a stranger next to him lose their footing and accidentally scuff their dirty boot across the white patch where the coffee would have landed. Danny sighed and nodded in defeated acceptance.

"Yeah, I know, it's pretty slow," Peter commented, misreading Danny's frustration. "But, it's still a heck of a lot faster than walking to school."

"And you ride this every day?" Danny asked.

"Yep, to and from school. Oh, and also into midtown in the afternoons."

"What's in midtown?"

"Oh, May didn't tell you guys?" When Danny shook his head, Peter explained, "I have an internship at Stark Industries."

"You what?!" Danny exclaimed. "Wow, that's awesome."

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, but I try not to make a big deal about it," Peter bragged with a half-smile and shrug of his shoulders.

'The lie detector determined that was a lie,' Maury Povich's voice echoed in Danny's mind.

"I'll have to see how it balances with my extracurriculars. I might have to drop a couple."

"Why? What do you do?" Danny asked.

"Oh, you know, just the usual stuff. Academic decathlon, band, volunteering at the veterans center with May, volunteering at the animal shelter, volunteering-"

"-At the same time?!" Danny interrupted.

"Well, at least I don't do any sports too," Peter defended. "My teachers were pushing for that, but it's-" Peter faltered. "It's not a great idea for me."

"Crap. What kind of school did Tony Stark sign me up for?"

"You know Tony Stark too?"

"Well, he made a contract with my parents."

"Ah, right; May mentioned something about that," Peter mused. "Hey, isn't it slightly weird that Tony moved his new employees right next door to a preexisting one?"

"You're right; that *is* weird," Danny agreed. "Well it's better than if we were roommates."

" 'Oh my god, they were roommates,' " Peter commented automatically.

The teens, realizing what had just happened, simultaneously gasped and lit with glee.

Astoria — 07:58

"Is this a school or a museum?" Danny exclaimed.

Peter chuckled. "Welcome to Midtown School of Science and Technology."

The boys passed under the front gate and began crossing the yard.

"This place is ridiculous," Danny said. "It's like three times as big as Casper High back home. Is this one of those schools where everyone's related to someone famous or something?"

"Well, John Gotti did go here a bazillion years ago…"

Danny and Peter approached the front steps where a preppy-looking blonde wearing all white and navy stood waiting.

"Hey, Betty," Peter greeted.

"Oh, you must be the new kid!" Betty greeted Danny, completely failing to acknowledge Peter's existence. "I'm Betty, chair of the new student welcoming committee. I'm here to show you around, get you set up with your locker and schedule and help you settle in to life here at Midtown. Danny, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Hi," Danny said.

"Cool. Just follow me." Betty briefly made eye contact with Peter. "Hey, Parker."

"H-" Peter's greeting died on his lips when she was already gone, a hapless Danny offering Peter a wordless apology as he disappeared with her.

Throngs of students milled around Peter as if he were a mere obstacle in the flow. He sighed. "Okay, then…"

"Peter!"

Peter brightened when he saw portly Ned Leeds barreling at him through the crowds. He braced for impact, but Ned's tackle sent him crashing into the railing behind him.

"Hey, Ned!" Peter greeted. "Welcome back to prison."

"Dude dude dude dude," Ned began, "did you see Liz's Instagram story last night?"

"No, why?" Peter asked as he opened the app on his phone.

"She saw a dementor too!"

"No way!"

Danny finally found his way to his locker, only to find it was a bottom locker. He rolled his eyes and said, "Son of a bi-"

"Check out the new kid!"

Danny spun around and found a boy with a dark complexion and wavy black hair. "Can I help you?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, I'm part of the welcoming committee. Flash Thompson," he said and raised a fist to bump.

"Oh, *you're* Flash," Danny said, ignoring Flash's raised fist. "I'm Danny."

"Oh, are you part of the Flash Mob?"

"…No?"

"But you just said my name."

"Peter Parker told me all about you on the way here."

"You know Penis Parker?"

Danny narrowed his eyes and carefully replied, "He's my neighbor."

"Aw, sucks to be you. He's a total weirdo."

"He led me to good coffee, so he can't be all bad."

"Hey, new kid's got a mouth," Flash commented. "See you around, David."

"Danny," he corrected

"Later, Davey," Flash called as he walked away.

"Good morning," a woman greeted as she strode into the room. "I am your teacher, Mrs. Warren. This is sophomore physics, but it will also serve as your homeroom." She slapped a folder down onto her desk and looked over the students at their lab tables. "I know most of you from last year-"

'Oh, no.'

"-but I see we do have a new face!"

Danny sank further into his seat. 'Oh, God.'

"Mister, uh—?"

Danny groaned and sat up. "Fenton."

"Mr. Fenton, welcome! Would you like to come to the front and-?"

"No."

Mrs. Warren faltered. "It is not optional, Fenton."

Danny rolled his eyes and stood, but he remained at his desk. "Hi, my name's Danny; not Daniel or Dan, just Danny. I'm from Amity Park, Ohio, and I moved here because my parents got a contract with Stark Industries. I would like to say I'm excited to move to New York, but let's be honest: This is Queens, not Manhattan." He sat back down, leaving the room in stunned silence.

"Nice."

Danny's whole body flinched. A girl with barely-tamed, wavy hair had seemingly materialized out of nowhere in the seat next to him. Danny almost wondered if she had spoken at all given the way she unflinchingly read her book.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope our borough grows on you," Mrs. Warren encouraged.

Danny sighed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Warren. I didn't sleep well, my sister spilled makeup on my shoes this morning, and I'm just not much of a morning person."

"…Sounds like you're not much of an 'anything' person," the girl next to him muttered just loud enough for Danny to hear.

"Stick close, and I'll show you what to avoid," Peter advised as the lunch line advanced.

"Hey, if it's not grass on bread or *sentient*, I'll be happy," Danny drawled.

" 'Sentient?' " Peter repeated.

With a sigh, Danny explained, "There's a gh- a, uh…a villain back home that haunts the cafeteria."

"That's sick, man," Peter said and took an apple for himself.

"That's life in Amity Park."

"Oh my god!" a new voice exclaimed. A heavyset Polynesian boy physically shoved his way into their conversation. With eyes on Danny, he asked, "Is this the guy?"

"This is the guy," Peter affirmed. "Ned, meet Danny."

"Hey," Danny greeted.

With a quick glance down, Ned's face lit up with excitement. "Daaaaaamn!"

Danny felt shell-shocked and self-conscious. "…What?"

"Daaaaaamn, Daniel!" Ned exclaimed. "Back at it again with the white Vans!"

Danny glanced down at his choice of footwear and groaned. "Oh, no." He looked up pleadingly. "Please, you guys, it's my first day. I don't-"

"Daaaaaamn, Daniel!" Ned and Peter chorused with equal expressions of unbridled glee.

"Oh, great." Danny rolled his eyes and maneuvered around Peter in line. "My sister dumped her makeup on my normal shoes, okay? I didn't have a choice. And don't call me Daniel."

Sunnyside — 15:35

After school, Danny found himself walking up Queens Beaulevard through the heart of Sunnyside. People were out walking their dogs or running errands. Teens traveled around in groups, enjoying their novelty free time after the first day back at school. The neighborhood was extremely diverse, a refreshing change from the Fentons' predominantly cookie-cutter suburb back home. It wasn't long, however, until Danny had been cornered into his first mugging.

"Cough up the wallet, kid!" his masked aggressor ordered with a jab of his brandished knife.

Danny frowned. "I've been in New York for three days, and this is the welcome I get?" he commented to himself and quickly began deciding what ghost powers he could subtly call upon in the ensuing struggle.

"How's THIS for a welcome!" a gravelly voice shouted from above.

A white string attached itself to the knife and yanked it away. Both Danny and his mugger looked up just in time to see a figure drop down from an overlooking fire escape. Danny squatted out of the way of the mugger's swinging fist, while the shadowed figure shot more of the white rope-like substance at the mugger and pinned his arms to his sides.

As the restrained mugger lost his balance and toppled over, the newcomer straightened and faced Danny, silhouetted by the afternoon sun behind him.

"Welcome to Queens," Danny's savior grunted.

Danny frowned. The full cowl, the disorienting silhouette of the sun behind him, the apparent combat tech, the voice… Danny quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Batman? You're real?"

"Dude, no way! You thought I was Batman?!" the figure asked excitedly, his suddenly normal voice now resembling that of a boy Danny's age. "Oh, crap—I mean-"

Danny immediately ID'd the local hero from his previous in-costume interaction and rolled his eyes. "You killed the moment, man," he said. He took the hero's offered hand and stood. "Thanks for saving me, I guess. Hey...you're Spider-Man, right?" Danny asked, playing dumb.

"FINALLY someone gets the name right!" Spider-Man cheered.

"Are muggings frequent around here?"

"Eh, not so much. Usually it's just drugs and murders in New York."

"That's a nice change," Danny muttered to himself.

"What's that?"

"Oh. Nothing. My hometown's just weird."

"O-okay. Well, welcome to the neighborhood!"

Don't worry; Danny and Jazz are NOT going to murder each other. They're just having trouble adjusting to their new life because neither of them particularly wanted this move haha.

This chapter's references and Easter Eggs:

- Magnolia Bakery: a real bakery which I follow on Instagram. Oh my god everything they make looks incredible.

- Kid Cuisine: David Kaufman, the voice actor for Danny on the show, also voiced the K.C. Penguin mascot for the old Kid Cuisine commercials.

- Daybreak with Mike Pomeroy and Colleen Peck: the fictional morning program from Morning Glory, one of my favorite lighthearted movies ever because it stars Indiana Jones and Regina George IN THE SAME MOVIE.

- The Godfather (1972) really did film at Calvary Cemetery which is only a few blocks from the apartment building used for exteriors of the Parkers' residence in Homecoming.

- "Oh, I don't drink coffee!": one of the best lines ever muttered by an animated character: Twitchy in Hoodwinked.

- "Double-O seventh": When I was like 10, I used to read the My Life As… series, a Christian youth novel series about Wally McDoogle, one of the most hapless kids ever. One of the books involved him becoming a secret agent, and his call sign was 00-1/7th as a parody of 007 (James Bond). So, while a snarky burn, it is also a very deep, layered reference.

- "Oh my god, they were roommates": I am heartbroken if you don't get this Vine reference.

- John Gotti: infamous real-life mafia boss who went to Franklin K. Lane Educational Campus, the school used as an exterior for Midtown Science and Tech

- "Son of a bi-" "Check out the new kid!": Do you see what I did there? :D

- "Daaaaaamn, Daniel! Back at it again with the White Vans!": Did I write the entire bathroom scene to justify Danny wearing white Vans simply for the sake of this pop culture reference? Yes. Yes I did. (This story takes place in 2016 in accordance with the MCU timeline, right after the Damn Daniel videos went viral.)

- "…Batman?": because of that golden interview with Tom Holland for MTV After Hours ("Tom Holland's Secret 'Spider-Man: Homecoming' Audition Tape | After Hours | MTV" on YouTube)

Stay tuned for more fun next month when the Fentons go to the Parkers' for dinner! As always, I love your feedback and reactions and am always open to suggestions or constructive criticism. :)