So, I just figured I should talk to you guys. It's been months since I released a chapter and I felt it was only right I gave you some kind of response.

As a synopsis: life is a pain in the ass. I'm dealing with a lot of issues, physically, mentally and around me.

I'll start off by saying that my family is a mess right now. I lost my grandmother to cancer back in April, and we couldn't do anything after that because of COVID. We were supposed to do something tomorrow, but a cousin of mine ended up getting COVID and my uncle, who's my mother's brother and grandmother's son lives with her so he might have it. That not only canceled the thing, but we also might have COVID too.

Additionally, I haven't mentally been intact. I'm falling apart, and I don't know if it's because of depression or not. I feel sick, down, and just keep mentally doubting myself and friends. There's more to it than just this, but those thoughts are… personal.

Another thing that kind of just mentally destroyed me was this. So, I kind of noticed that I was starting to feel more and more down and decided to try and reach out to people online and be friends with them, or at the very least have someone to talk to. I don't have many friends irl, and the ones I have, while they do the best they can for me, aren't always available.

So, I met this person about a month or so ago now. They were really nice and talked to me pretty much every day about whatever. It was nice.

But I have a lot of trust issues. This mainly stems from what happened to me growing up and other experiences along the way. Like, friends I've known for years lying to me about something big and/or throwing away our entire friendship over something completely stupid. So, I tend to have doubts about people a lot, questioning their legitimacy and whatnot. Call me paranoid or something all you want, it's just how I am now, and I can't do much about it.

Needless to say I found out this person was lying to me about… a lot of stuff. I won't say how or anything, but I was really hurt. When I confronted them about it they got nasty and… yeah. I feel like a fool, like I'd been baited and tricked. Now I feel like I want to close off from people in general.

I really want to write a chapter, but I can't right now. I'm really sorry for this, and when I'm up to it I'll try to get one out there for you guys. I'll probably still be active reading and reviewing other works, but I'm just not mentally up to writing right now. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to rant about stuff too much here. Sorry for that. I just wanted to really let out some stuff.

I hope you all are doing well and stay safe during this frustrating time. Thanks for sticking with me and this story.