Wow you people really liked that last chapter, by lunch the next day at work I had a bunch of reviews So I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully the hilarity of last chapter makes up for this chapters rather…somber tone.

**WARNING** This chapter has some rather dark elements to it.

A day late, better late then never, I guess.

I do not own My Hero Academia or Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, or any of the movies mentioned.

"First things first let's get us some snacks and drinks, we got a long night of movie watching planned!" Toru skipped happily to the kitchen with Dekumaru, she set him on the counter before opening the fridge pulling out a 12-case box of some pop.

She then pulled out a convenience store bag that looked to be bulging with several sugary treats. Setting them on the table next to Izuku she went under the counter opening a cupboard pulling out another bag with some chips and a pack of popcorn.

'Did she buy all this for just herself tonight?' Izuku was surprised at all the food.

While he pondered this Toru had put the popcorn in the microwave and was looking for bowl. After a minute or so she got the popcorn out and poured it into the bowl and then snapped her finger.

"Oh right, you probably need water." Toru went over to his water dish and picked it up removing the jug and emptying out the bowl in the sink then throwing it into one of the bags.

"Okay then lets go!" Toru picked up the bowl of popcorn and the pop. "Hey Dekumaru could you grab the snacks?" She didn't wait and moved quickly to reach the elevator. Izuku grabbed the bags and they went on their way and soon arrived at her room.

Toru's room was definitely a different dimension than being in Ochaco's room. While the gravity girl's room was plain and clearly someone not wanting to spend money on decorating. Toru's was as girly as you could possibly get.

The pink, purple and light blue aesthetics were plastered around, mostly pink. Several designs were heart shaped, her curtains with cherries. She had Stuff animals on her bed and on some shelves above her workspace. The most noticeable thing after Izuku walked in was from the last time he'd seen her room she had moved some banners on her wall above her bed.

Now there in place was the drawing he drew of her. It looked like it was triple laminated and was framed and placed in some tough glass. Izuku stared at it for a moment wondering if maybe she went a little overboard with the protection.

"That's my most prized possession now you know." Toru walked pass him to set her things down on her table and she moved her desk around to pull the tv forward and opened one of her drawers. Digging through it pulling out a couple of movies. "Hey, come over here and pick out a movie for us to end out on." Toru pulled Izuku's vison away from the image, and he went to the drawer which was closes to the floor.

He jumped up leaning on the side of the drawer peering in, they were certainly old movies, mostly back from the 1990's it's seems. He saw some old comedy's and such, he was much more into the hero's movies or action. Although he's probably seen most if not all the hero movies ever made.

'Hm what's this.' Pulled out a movie that was on the very bottom looked at it and shrugged handing it to Toru. Who took it and seem lost in her thoughts for moment seemingly reminiscing about the movie.

"This one huh, been a while." Toru closed the drawer and popped one of the DVD's in and pulled the table over to her bed calling Dekumaru over to sit next to her. On the table was a notepad and some pencils. Izuku took his water bowel out of the bag went to her bathroom and filled it with water from the sink set it near were he would be and then sat next to the girl.

"Movie date night with little Dekumaru, ooooo I'm so excited!" Toru pressed play on a remote threw it behind her on the bed and cracked open a can of pop, taking a big gulp and letting out a satisfying sigh, she then started eating the popcorn as the movie started.

"What's this one called?" Izuku wrote down in his notebook and Toru glanced at it.

"This is a classic movie that even to this day people praise it's called 'Forest Gump' It's about how a man who was born slow thinking was able to achieve anything he wanted just trying his best." Toru turned back to the watch the movie her eyes sparkling.

'Trying his best huh…' Izuku watched closely as he used his tail to grab some popcorn of his own.

"Poor Bubba, I liked him." Izuku wrote on his pad as the scene of said man wanting to go home.

"I always wondered what would happen if a major war ever broke out now…I feel like past wars would seem tame." Toru curled up a bit into her self. Izuku wrapped a tail around her.

'Not if I have anything to do about it.' He snugged up to her. They watched as Forrest reunited a few times with his love. And laughed at the absurdity of things that were defiantly exaggerated, such as showing your butt to the president live.

"I don't know how a man could run for three years like that, just thinking of that is making me tired." Toru whined.

'Try picking up a garbage filled beach in ten months…' Izuku let out a groan.

He didn't even notice so much time has passed as he felt so engrossed into the movie waiting to see what ever this man would do next. Eventually the movie came to its final scene and as he watched the feather mix with the piano, he heard sniffling to his side.

'Toru?' Izuku placed a paw on the girls lap.

"It gets me every time…" Toru wiped her eyes and then stretched up. "So what did you think of the movie?" Toru had cried a few times throughout the movie clearly shown with the faint tear stains on her cheek and redden eyes.

"I really like it; I can see why it's considered a classic watching him just simply be himself and not letting the world tell him what he can and can't do. I admire that." Izuku jotted down.

"RIGHT! RUN FOREST RUN! Hahaha, maybe I should yell that every time Iida trains." The girl had a devilish smile.

'Not sure if most people would get it through…' Izuku hopped off the bed and stretched a little bit.

"Good idea I always forget how long this movie actually is, lets take a mini break." The girl walked into the bathroom and closed the door leaving Izuku in the room alone for the moment.

He looked around a room once more gazing closer at some of the details. He jumped back on the bed and he took one of the packages snacks and opened it up and began munching on the sweets, thankfully he was still able to eat chocolate. He turned and looked back up at the picture of Toru. His eyes always seemed to travel to a part of the picture where he purposefully let out detail.

"Your turn! I'll get the next movie set up." Toru walked over to her Tv while Izuku did his business. He came out to the girl laying across her bed instead of sitting this time. He hopped up on to the bed and she pulled him closer to her.

"There we go front row seats, this one actually has that same actor from the other movie, I think my dad once told me this movie was actually written by some famous horror writer."

"We are watching a scary movie then?" Izuku wrote.

"Not really, it is kind a disturbing but it's actually a pretty sad movie. It's called the 'Green Mile' the first time I watched it I didn't like it, but I think it was because I was young, and it actually did scare me." He could feel Toru shiver.

The movie started and when he saw the size of the one known as John Coffee, he was amazed that the man didn't have a quirk. It didn't take long to realize what Toru had meant. It wasn't a scary movie. But certainly, was frightening. Because these weren't monsters, but humans, or could some of them even be considered human. He hated Percy, that was for sure every time he saw that man on screen his stomach churned.

"I don't like this scene, how horrible of a person can a person be to do this." Toru squirmed as the man in the electric chair burned and fried.

Izuku felt what happened to Percy was Justified. "Why even though he was punished that way I still feel like he got off easy…" Izuku felt conflicted as a hero he shouldn't want people to suffer.

"I know how you fell bud; we shouldn't have to think that he should suffer but even if he did…it doesn't change what he has already done." Toru snugging the dog closer to her.

The movie didn't seem to get any easier to watch, seeing this huge man cower and cry and just want to leave this world because he felt it was too horrible live in. It made Izuku think of his younger years for being bullied and shunned by society and his peers for being quirkless.

'I got lucky with All Might but, there's probably other kids and adults out their who are going through a similar thing…. I have to become the symbol of hope and bring awareness to this.' Izuku wondered just where he'd be right now if he didn't have One For All.

'Well I wouldn't be dog right now that's for sure.' Izuku mentally sighed. 'Although being cuddled up to a beautiful girl in her bed watching a movie, that's a plus.'

Said girl was currently bawling her eyes out into Izuku's fur, He himself had tears in his eyes watching the final execution. Such a kind soul ending in such a manner it was not easy for anyone to watch.

"…Sometimes the Green Mile seems so long…" Toru voiced out in a quivering voice at the same time as the movie started its credits.

"You okay?" Izuku nudge her face with his snout while writing down his concern.

"Y-yeah I'm fine just some…memories, I guess. Ahem okay time for another break, before your movie!" Toru hopped up and practically ran into the bathroom, probably embarrassed by how much she was crying through these movies.

'Hopefully the movie I picked isn't that sad…' Izuku didn't even really look at the movie he picked.

He thought about a particular scene of the two scums of the movie where one shoots the other and the other becomes insane. He felt his blood run cold as he couldn't even try to not feel so….content at the loss of life and mind. He knew life wasn't quite as black and white, Stain had proven that. But…for him to feel this way, could he call himself a hero. A true symbol of peace?

Toru came out having clearly splashed water over her face to clean up. "Woo boy, I should have some comedies!" She giggled to herself.

"Is the one I picked a comedy?" Izuku pushed his notebook to Toru. Getting his mind out of its funk. That would be something to discuss at another time.

"Not at all, I mean it also kind of a bummer movie." Toru shrugged.

"Should I pick something else then?" Izuku felt like maybe they shouldn't watch another sad movie, it felt like something was eating at Toru.

"…. No, this movie isn't actually all that great actually, but it isn't bad either I like it and well…let's just watch it." Toru changed out the DVDs and came back to the bed sitting cross legged and setting Izuku on her lap. She brought some chips over and opened another pop.

"This movie is called 'The City of Angels' It about an angel who comes down and falls in love with human and gives up being an angel to be with her." Toru didn't seem to want to go any farther than that.

'Maybe she's just getting tired, it is getting quite late and we've watched too long movies as it is.' Izuku yawned as the movie started.

Just like Toru said the movie wasn't bad but it certainly was entertaining, and it showed how much some one could sacrifice to be with one who they loved. At some point in the movie when a song started playing, Toru had been in hushed tone singing along. The movie ended and both Toru and Izuku sitting there silently neither saying anything. He wasn't sure what it was, but he felt like this movie changed Toru's mood.

"Toru is there anything about this movie that you have history with?" Izuku questioned after a few minutes of neither moving nor uttering a sound.

Toru saw the message and sighed out. "Was it that obvious?"

"Well considering we just sat here in silence for over five minutes and neither of us are asleep…" Izuku shrugged as he pushed the notebook over.

"Fair enough, there is…something…. I…well don't worry about it." Toru set Izuku off to the side and hugged one of her stuff animals to herself.

"It doesn't sound like nothing." Izuku pushed, Toru glanced over and for once he seen a hint of irritation on her face.

"I said its nothing just drop it." Toru voice dropped an octave which surprised Izuku.

Izuku Didn't write anything right away instead choosing to watch the girl as she turned her head away from him. As if trying to get rid of something she was remembering and afraid he'd see if he looked at her directly. He glanced over at the picture above the bed and sighed.

"Hey Toru, can I tell you something…" Izuku tapped her should for her to look.

"What is it." The girl did not have her usually playfulness tone.

"There is one thing about you that I left out of that drawing." He was hesitant to want to say anything.

"Really? What was it." Toru turned to look up at the picture, her curiosity brushed aside her irritation. Instead of Izuku writing down what it was right away and took a couple steps forward towards the girl and with his tail he grabbed her one arm.

"What are you doing?" Toru pulled her arm back defensively, Izuku gave her a hard stare and she relented and let him pull her arm away from her chest. He then gave a lick to her wrist. Toru's breathing became heavier, and her eyes widen. Izuku sat down and wrote down his thoughts before dropping the journal in front of him.

"Your wrists are covered in scars." Izuku watched as Toru covered her exposed wrist with her other hand.

"I…I don't know what you are talking about…" Toru's voice wavered, and she looked away with tears in her eyes.

"Toru….do you…do you cu-"

"No!" Toru slapped Izuku's tail away from the notebook before he could finish his sentence. She was in his face still clearly hiding back her tears, but the anguished look on her face was still prevalent.

'Toru…' Izuku whined to the girl.

"I…I don't…. anymore…" Toru looked ashamed and didn't want talk about it. Izuku placed a paw on her lap and she looked down at the dog.

"I….its….not something I'm proud of I don't really want to discuss it…"Toru look pleadingly at Dekumaru.

Izuku stretched his tail out and grabbed the notebook and pen. "Toru…after getting to know everyone, and in the bath. I noticed those scars since. At first I thought they were battle related but. There's a lot of them." Izuku stopped so Toru could read and she seem to be fighting a battle in her self and she started making half words and noises trying to either stand her ground or just let it out. Finally she let out a sigh that that signal she made up her mind.

"Fine….I'll tell you….get comfortable cause this isn't exactly a nice story." Toru picked up her phone and he heard a connection ping probably a Bluetooth speaker.

'What could have made her want to do something like harm herself?' Izuku figured he'd get an answer soon.

"So when I first started middle school was the first time I watched this movie with my dad. I really liked the song they played in the movie, so I found it and had added it to a playlist on my phone. One day while messing with my friends after school I was listening to the song and an incident occurred while listening to a part of the lyrics. And from then on it was as if there was subliminal message playing in the back of my mind." Toru took a deep breath. "Let me start from the beginning."

1st person Toru perspective as if being told by the Flashback Toru. (when the lyrics start its Toru starting the song while telling the story, obviously the song is not paced exactly as she's talking but pretend it is, for me.)

I was sitting in the art club room with a few of my friends watching them joke around on social media, taking pictures and the like. I was sitting with an earphone in my ear scrolling through my music.

"Toru girl what are you doing, come join us!" I glanced over to my friends who were waving me over.

"Okay okay." I got up and walked over to the three who were at the front of the classroom.

"Okay smile!" One of the girls held the phone up and everyone made goofy faces I made peace sign without really watching. There wasn't a point. Its not like anyone could tell if was smiling let alone looking.

"Annnnd Posted! We so cute!" I watched the girl tag us in it, I got a notification on my phone of the me being tagged in her photo. I sighed was there even a point in me being in photos or videos. Unless I was wearing gloves or long sleeves, I was just a set of floating clothes.

"Let's do another!" They didn't even notice I walked away and was leaning against one of the other desks ask they kept going on and still tagged me as if I was actually there.

'Always want me around but rarely actually notice me.' She glanced at the time on her phone when she saw a song, she'd been obsessed with come on. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. She wasn't sure why, but this song seemed to call to her. Maybe because it was ironic to her quirk.

She walked back over to the group of girls to notice one of them swinging something around causing the other girls to squeal, mostly out of fright.

"Hey! Put that down before you actually hurt someone!" One of them screamed.

"Relax I'll be extra caref-" The girl swung the object in her hand outwards right into my gloved hand.

"OUCH!" I grabbed my hand and the girls all jumped at my scream and the one dropped the object in her hand.

"Oh my god im sorry I didn't know you were behind me girl!" The girl had a hand over her mouth.

"Of course you didn't…" I stared down at the red that was staining the glove, just as the song went into a lyric that seem to stick into my brain.

"…Toru are you sure your alright you kind of spaced out." I glanced up to see the concerned faces.

"HAHAHA yeah I'm fine guess just little shocked I'll go to the nurse's office to get bandaged I'll just tell them I fell and hit something pointy." I waved off the girls knowing they really didn't care about me, but bout getting in trouble.

I could tell when instead of making sure I was okay they all sighed in relief and left the room talking about going shopping. I looked down to see the object I was stabbed with was an x-acto knife. I eyed it and picked it up, it the tip had some blood still on it.

I looked on the desk and saw the cover for the blade I placed it on. I went over to my bag and for some reason put in there, maybe to try and hide the evidence? I'm not sure. I went to the nurse's office and after I took my glove off and wiped it down the nurse looked unsure how to bandage me, I couldn't blame her I couldn't do it either.

I went home.

The girls never even messaged me to check in or to ask if I was going to join them. I hurt a little.

More than the stabbing did.

That night while I attempted my homework, I reached into my bag to grab my pencil box and I felt the handle of the knife. I took it out and set it in my pen holder on my desk blade down of course.

I forgot about that knife for a while.

My mind would wander to that day of being stabbed and the lyrics that accompanied that moment. The image danced around my head constantly. Why did it feel like it was calling out to me.

Almost begging.

One day after school I was with the girls again, we were at the mall we were all walking and I was even being loud and obnoxious just to make sure I was part of the group this time.

It was tiring having to constantly signify your presence.

When did it become like this. When did I have to fight to feel like I have friends.

We were all walking along a store, and I happened to turn to look into a window of a store. I saw my set of floating clothes. I stopped mid talk and stared at myself. Or rather lack of self.

I'm not sure how long I was looking, but someone on the other side saw my floating clothes and jumped in shock, it brought me out of my head.

"Sorry I-" I looked to my friends. They were so far ahead. They didn't even notice I stopped talking to them. They just kept walking.

My fist clenched and I squeezed my eyes to stop the tears.

I was left behind again.

Again.

I tried to catch up I ran up to them and the rounded a corner. As I rounded it they were no where to be found. There were several stores they could have went in or even up to the second floor.

"Whatever." I went home. I never bothered to text them. They never texted me.

Petty? Maybe, but before when I would text them they just send back and okay or a waving emoji with a cya tomorrow attached.

I once just watched them as I sent a text right behind them to see them autonomously reply without even looking. Or even asking when I left.

I guess the only good thing was they never bad mouthed me.

But even people they hated got more acknowledgements than me. What's worse Being badmouthed, or not ever being mentioned.

What's that saying again? You die twice. The first is when you physically die, the second when you are forgotten?

What happens where your forgotten before you've had a chance to die?

I'm become more bitter by the day, I can feel it.

I sat in the classroom the next day and the girls all came over my desk after the final bell had rang, and they all are talking about the shopping trip yesterday.

I started packing my bag ignoring them or trying to at least.

I started to feel angry. 'How dare they talk as if I was with them.'

Why was I cursed to never be seen.

"Oh yeah, Toru what did you think about that desert place we went to yesterday." The one girl decided to notice her now.

"What desert shop?" I asked back trying to keep the venom out of my voice. Either then didn't notice or even my emotions were invisible.

How absurd.

"You know the one we all went to? I don't even remember what you ordered. The girl giggled and the another said how rude to forget and slapped the girls shoulder.

"You mean the one you all went to after you left me behind, and apparently didn't even notice I wasn't around." I snapped.

The girls all jumped at the sudden out burst.

"What no you…you were there cause…" The girl backed up scared at the tone, I the normally happy go lucky girl gave her.

"Cause what!? I stood up, which they only knew because of my shirt and short suddenly got higher. "You'd think you notice the absence of floating clothes, or when I stopped responding or talking. But no, it seems if I'm not always being loud, I might as well not exist!" I grabbed my bag and began storming out of the classroom.

My vison blurred as the sign I could no longer contain them.

Were my tears also invisible? I never bothered to check.

"Toru Th-that's not true!" One the girls shouted back to me.

I stopped.

"Then why when ever I get left behind and go home, I never get a text asked where I went and when the next day comes I gotta pretend I know what it is that happened. I'm done with this crap you girls can go enjoy yourselves like usually do. WITHOUT ME!" My eyes stung as I ran out the classroom.

I heard the girls calling out to me.

For once my phone actually buzzing from them contacting me.

Why is it people only care when convenient for them.

Running throught the halls I felt guilt weld up inside me.

I never brought it up to them before, can I really blame them for this.

'I shouldn't have to explain it…it should be obvious!'

Another part of my heart screamed at me, the whole point is that I myself. Am not obvious.

I buried these thoughts.

I didn't want reasoning

I wanted answers.

I wanted to blame others.

I wanted to be seen.

I ran home, on the way there it started raining. I had brought an umbrella to school, but I just didn't care.

The rain soon turned into a full-on storm.

The black clouds forming as if commanded by my thoughts.

The lightning flashing as if mocking my very essence.

Thundered roared into the sky, as if my heart was its voice screaming out in unfairness.

I arrived drenched upon my doorsteps, reaching into my pocket and pulled out my house key.

I hesitated for a moment. Something made me almost reconsider being here.

But where else could I go, especially in this storm.

I prayed that no one was home, I didn't want them to see me like this.

The irony.

I bitterly chuckled at the thought before inserting the key.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

I unlock my front door and step into an unlit dark house. No parents, dad hasn't come back from work, and mom must have been out shopping. Good. But why was it good?

'Cause I know that you feel me some how

The shadows around crept into my mind whispering evil thoughts I run up to the bathroom to grab a towel, which was as black as the world right now.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll be.

I glanced in the mirror the flashes of lighting showed just a set of soggy clothes sticking to my body.

They stuck to me outline the body I possess.

The thought sickens me and leave the bathroom.

And I don't want to go home right now.

I run into my room with the towel around my neck not caring about the trail of wet footprints I was leading through the house.

At least someone could follow me if I was wet.

And all I can taste is this moment.

I got into my room, and I subconsciously locked my door as if afraid someone would come into my room.

My thoughts and feelings jumbled. Fed up with not being seen.

Yet hiding from the world. Another bitter laugh retches from my throat.

And all I can breathe is your life

I stepped further into my room and felt a buzz in my pocket. I pulled out my phone seeing another miss call stack up upon the others. I throw my phone on my bed not wanting to deal with it.

I Pull off my uniforms shirt on the bed over the phone, leaving me in a white shirt sleeve.

and sooner or later its' over.

The messages and calls I wished for.

They mean nothing now.

The phone's dim light showing from underneath it. Signifying it was still there.

Mocking me.

Its buzzing felt like gears grinding in my ears.

I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

I sit down in my chair and slowly dry my hair with the towel as the hold the hot liquid ready to flow out.

My clothes plaster themselves against my seat and back rest.

The dripping water puddling around on the floor.

And I don't want the world to see me.

"Why do I have this stupid ass quirk." I dry my hair rougher before throwing it down on top of the desk.

My tears mixing with the water below me. I wiped them with the back of my arms and glance ahead staring at my dark wall.

'Cause I don't think they'd understand.

Another flash of lightning illuminating throughout the room, and I notice the glimmer of metal in my pen holder. I turn on my desk lamp that softly lights the room.

My eyes glue on to the metal object I once forgot about.

"In plain sight, yet never noticed…" I whisper to myself.

When everything's made to be broken.

Thunder roars as I reach over and take hold of the knife, I stare at it momentarily as it becomes clear why those lyrics stuck into my head.

The reasoning for why I took this knife.

I know it now.

I just want you to know who I am.

I unscrew the blade from the handle and remove the safety guard and tilt the blade watching the sharp edge shimmer methodically.

I look at where my left wrist should be and lay it on top of the towel underside facing up. I feel with my other fingers and then lay the blade upon my skin, feeling the cold metal ready to pierce skin.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.

I begin to shake…no shiver. I take a gulp which was a hard swallow down.

I feel my breath slow, or did it become faster. Both? I wasn't sure my vision tunneled onto the only thing it could see.

My proof of life.

Or the moment of truth in your lies.

I once heard the emo kids joke around going down the road not across the street when it came to cutting. I hoped I had offset the blade enough to not hit the major artery. I hitched my breath holding it.

The world went silent just for a moment. As I thought for a sliver of a moment, I still had time to back out.

The climax I've been waiting for was now.

The thunder and buzzing faded, mumbled by my eyes trained on the razor.

The memories of staring at myself in mirrors and windows. Never knowing if I was truly ever staring back at myself.

I steeled my shivering.

When everything feels like the movies.

I exhale as the blade smoothly glides across my skin, easily. Instantly Pain shot to my brain and dropped the blade and my body began shaking. Almost shocked at what I've done to it.

The pain subsided as quickly as it came as my body rocked in euphoria. And I saw it. My existence leaking out slowly from the cut.

Yeah you bleed just you know you're alive.

The thin line appeared out of thin air growing larger with each passing moment until it couldn't stay in one spot. Soon streams gently flowed around in an arc on the towel.

I watched fascinated by sparkling life-proofing liquid pouring out of me.

I pulsated my arm and watch as it forced more of the red life out. Soon it wasn't streams and my wrist was just stained in blood.

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

Eventually the leaking from the wound stopped and I was staying still motionless. I was shaken out of my thoughts was a rather loud thunder shook my home.

The feeling of the slice was embedded into my body.

No. My soul.

The exhilaration I felt was immense.

And addicting.

When everythings meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I stare at my arm as the blood continued to freely flow out.

This is what it means to be seen.

What it means to know I'm alive.

I have a body, I'm not just some floating consciousness for you to call upon.

.Me.

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

I pick up the blade once again. This time with more confidence.

I stare at it possessively. This what was needed to be done.

This blade is now my was of existing.

I began to place the blade down again, almost begging to feel the release again.

When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.

"Toru dear are you home?" I heard my mother call to me outside my door.

"Y-yeah mom!" I quickly drop the blade wrap the towel around my wrist and wipe it down best as I could.

"Why didn't you turn on any lights? And did you lead water through the house? Why is your door locked!? Is everything alright dear? My mother was always a worry wart.

"Yea- yeah I'm fine I just wanted make sure my books were okay I didn't grab my umbrella when I left school. And I took off my clothes and so I locked my door sheesh." I made an excuse quickly.

I pick up the blade and wipe it down quickly and place it back in the guard and push it behind my pencil holder.

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

"Well, go take a shower then I'll get dinner started." I hear my mom walk away and after a minute I peeked out and saw she was gone.

I go to the bathroom and step into the shower and feel the hot water wash over me and hissed as it seeps into my wrist.

I watch as it washes away my crime. For a second, I worry about how to cover it. I start laughing at the absurdity.

"It's not like anyone would ever know, I'm glad I have good parents because I'm the perfect child to abuse. No evidence." I chuckle darkly to myself as I wash up. Tears slowly leaking from my eyes.

When everythings meant to be broken

I just wanted you to know who I am.

I step out of the shower and in front of the mirror which has been steamed up.

I wipe the condensation off. Seeing nothing but the wall behind me.

"Am I even crying?" I couldn't tell if it was just water from the shower or my tears floating on my face.

I forgot to check before.

I just want you to know who I am.

I don't even know why I'm crying.

Because of earlier in school?

Because I'm hiding things from my parents?

Because at what I've done to myself?

Because my only way of knowing I'm alive is scar myself?

No.

I am crying because even after all this.

I just want you to know who I am.

I still can't see who I am.

"I just want you to know who I am…." Toru finished the last lyric to the song as her story ended, at the same time as the song.

Izuku simply let the girl hug him through her story and listening to the song and her it made since why she had become attached to the song. While the meanings were something else entirely. It perfectly went along with how the invisible girl lived.

'But what can I do for her.' Izuku whimpered and licked the girl's wrist.

"Aw thanks boy. I did keep doing it till almost third year in jr high. Probably why you see a lot them. But I actually did end up making up with my friends soon after, it took a while but eventually it was able to have fun with them again." Toru revealed.

'Well that's good.' He Yipped.

"I saw an old hero movie with an invisible girl. And that's when I decided I'd be a hero and I couldn't afford to wallow in pity." Toru said holding out Izuku staring at him

"I do feel down sometimes but, now." She glanced at the picture. "I know just who I am." She gave Dekumaru a kiss right on the snout.

"Bleh ew dog slobber." Toru dropped Izuku.

'….my first kiss….AND SHE SAID EW!' Izuku whined with shocked wide eyes. 'I can't believe my first kiss was stolen while I was a dog.'

"Aw sorry your first kiss wasn't with Ochaco or Boa." Toru teased. "I only know Ochaco hasn't done this because I asked." The girl winked.

'YOUR NOT SORRY AT ALL' Izuku barked at the girl.

"Yeah your right, I'm not sorry tee hee." Toru stood up from her bed and stretched.

"Do…do you ever feel like no one notices you here?" Izuku wrote and held out the journal for the girl to read.

"Hmm…not really, I mean to be fair when we are training the whole point is usually for me to not be seen." She stuck her tongue out. She saw the dog staring at her. "Heh so serious aren't you. No thanks to Mina and Midoriya it seems I'm never out of sight." She smiled happily.

'Well then…' Izuku would have to keep from looking her so much…or not?

"And of course. You. I wish you were around a long time ago; you know before I ya know bled for the sake of my existence." She sat next to Izuku.

Izuku let out a sad groan and bowed his head.

"Now now don't get depressed on me, you weren't even born yet, besides you're here now…. Hm you know when Midoriya gets back I wonder if you two will get jealous of each other."

'uhhhhh what?' Izuku was confused.

"I mean all us girls want a piece of that Izuku action, and you almost like just dog version of him. And us girls bathe with you and sleep with you. If we were all to confess to him when he came back, I just wondered if you are being with us would make him want us more." Toru had an evil smirk. "Then again that boy would die of embarrassment if even one of us hinted at liking him, and I don't think he has a jealous bone in his body."

'That and if I was jealous of myself that's an entire therapy session waiting to happen.' Izuku shook his head. He swear he heard someone cackling in his mind.

"We should probably clean this up and head to bed huh…Thanks for the session, Dr. Dekumaru Therapy pup." Toru saluted before sitting up and began throwing away empty wrappers.

'I'll let it go this time…' Izuku felt like she probably had been holding that down and not telling anyone for a long time. He turned to the drawing once more and it seem like the picture was smiling more then it was before. 'huh...imagine that.'

Toru placed the bag and pop of unopened and unfinished treats near the door to take down in the morning. The wrappers and such were all shoved in the other bag to take down to the trash and recycling as well.

She shut off her light and crawled into her bed and Izuku jumped up to cuddle with her. He was used to this now with Ochaco. The first few nights he felt a bit awkward but now. If he wasn't sleeping with someone he felt. Lonely. He wondered if Ochaco felt that way now.

"Good night my little hero. Sweet dreams" Toru kissed the top of the dogs' head and snuggled him closer to her as she began to fall asleep.

'Good night Ha-..Toru.' Izuku let out a small purr and licked her hand. He could tell she smiled at his action. He too began to fall asleep.

It didn't take him long to find himself in the familiar place in his mind. He didn't see Nana around which confused him.

"So when do I get to see my grand puppies?" He jumped out of his skin from the woman appearing from behind him.

"Wh-wha the hell!? Why did you appear like that!? And what do you you're your Grand puppies? AND WHAT DO YU MEAN GRAND PUPPIES!?" Izuku was holding his chest kneeling on the ground heaving from the sneak attack.

Nana was holding her stomach and kneeling the ground pounding it. Every time it felt like she was about to stop and catch her breath she'd look at Izuku and start laughing.

Izuku was losing his patience after the 4th cycle of this she was on her back rolling back and forth clutching her stomach. Izuku was currently sitting on the ground trying to burn the woman with his glare. If she wasn't already dead, he would hope she'd die from laughing at his unfortunate situation.

"wooo ohh woooooooo wowieee, I haven't laughed that hard since like…ten hours ago." Nana seem to get herself under control standing up brushing herself off.

"Ten hours ago?" Izuku should have stayed quiet.

"Yeah you know when you saved your girlfriend and were about go doggy style." Nana winked still chuckling.

"dog-gy..st-style." Izuku turned bright red at the term with steam pouring out of his ears.

"Hmm, are imagining if. Or maybe with one of your other girlfriiieennds hmmmmmmmmmm." Shimura leaned against him.

"Wh-whawhat no no I'm no-not thinking of-of-"The poor boy was shaking like a motor. Sounding like a broken one at that.

"Kid you seriously are way to easy to tease you know that." Nana put her hands on her hips smiling at the boy who was doing his best 'I'll kill you' glare which didn't look intimating when his face was red as a cherry.

"Wh-why would they even by considered your grandkids or puppies anyways?" Izuku tried ignoring his still heated face.

"Well because you'd be about the same age as my grandkids and well, I'm kinda part of you so think of me like your extremely beautiful and sexy grandma." Nana gave thumbs up.

"…. sexy…gr-grandma…" Izuku had the urge to puke.

"What that now, or don't think I have all the curves in the right places?" Shimura gave a scary smile.

"Th-that's not the issue here ma'am." Izuku felt like this woman was missing a few braincells. 'wait, if she's in my mind and is missing braincells does that mean I'm also missing braincells?' Izuku was really over thinking things.

"Relax kid, I'm not gonna jump ya…unless you want me too." Nana had closed her eyes, and then opened one to look at his reactions.

"You're not related to Miss Midnight by chance are you." Izuku deadpanned.

"Not that I know of." Nana shrugged.

"Oh great so there's more of you freaks out there…" Izuku sighed.

"Freaks!? Ahem speaking of your teacher. How'd you like her." Nana leaned down at him smirking once again.

"I-I'm pleading the fifth." Izuku stuttered.

"Ah ah ah we are in Japan mister, also I don't think inner minds allow that kind of freedom." She flicked him in the head. He jumped and rubbed the spot on his forehead.

"I saw you snuggling all up against those glorious treasures." Nana walked behind him wrapping her arms around him, pressing herself against him. He stiffened.

"We-well they…felt nice…" Izuku wanted to die.

"Atta boy." Nana got off him and took a step back as Izuku turned to face her.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Izuku finally felt like he had courage to speak up about a topic they were seemingly avoiding.

"Don't think badly about Tor-I mean Hagakure…" Izuku rubbed his arm looking away from the previous user.

"Kid…" Nana look somberly at her student's successor.

"She was just trying to feel like she wasn't just invisible that she-"Izuku felt tears pricking his eyes. He didn't even know he could cry in his own mind. He stopped when he felt a comforting pair of arms wrap around him.

"Shh, its okay hun. Its okay for her to feel like that, no one is perfect. Not even heroes." She rubbed his back soothingly.

"But she sounded like she was blaming herself, that because of her past she couldn't…." Izuku didn't finish.

"Let's take a seat I want to tell you a story." She stepped back from Izuku and sat crossed legged in front of him, he did the same.

"Toru just went through a tough time as a teenager. Most go through a rebellious phase and act out and do things that later in life we realize were stupid. As adults we see teenagers going through something and knowing how we regret it, we act harsh and yell out in anger trying to stop them. of course, just like our parents before doing the same, they think we don't understand and they do it anyways." Nana looked off remembering her past.

"I taught Toshinori about being the symbol, and to always smile. He took it to heart, and he's made me proud at what he's achieved. Even if he's a dumbass as a teacher." Nana got a tick mark with that. Izuku let out an awkward chuckle.

"But I wasn't exactly always hero material. You see, when I was middle school student, I was a bit of a rebel." She stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts.

"A rebel? What kind like disregarding your parents or?" Izuku tilted his head.

"hahaaaa…more like I was the leader of my schools' gang." She put a hand behind her head giving a nervous laugh.

"….so you were a villain." Izuku stared at the woman.

"We-well villain is a bit much I was teenager I was…misguided?" Nana tried.

"…if you say so." Izuku was skeptical.

"Anyways I always had a strong sense of justice I just felt like heroes weren't doing a good job and well there was always some strange quirk war looming over us. So I decided to take charge and control the worse of the school and keep the peace. Of course, I sort of became their leader because of that. I went through many turf wars to keep that school safe ya know!" She raised her fist shaking it to the heavens.

'Is she whining?' Izuku couldn't believe this woman was complaining about her brute tactics she called justice.

"I did do my fair share of…illegal things I never crossed certain lines. Drugs, drinking, killing. Just a punch and kick here. Some stealing of snacks. But it wasn't until one day halfway through my 3rd year in middle school when I met the 6th user of One For All. He caught me stealing from a side store and my gang knew who he was and took off. Bunch of wusses!" Nana angrily cried. Izuku sweat dropped.

"He held me up as I shout profanities and swung around as if I would be able to kick his ass that way. The man simply stood there holding me until I stopped flailing and I got a good look at him. Young man with black hair and jacket whose collar covered up to his mouth." Nana described him.

"Like Best Jeanist?" I thought.

"Yeah exactly." Nana continued. "After I had tired myself out, he dropped me on my butt and asked me one question. Why. I wasn't sure what he was asking so of course I started mouthing off again, he didn't even flinch I was about to walk away when he said something that at first I ignored, but it was as if he planted the seed of me being the next user since. He asked if my justice was fair to those I stole from." Nana stared at her hands as she continued.

"After that every time I was my group and we were about to hit a store or something those words would ring in my ears. I tried to ignore it but, it was the last time that was stealing from a candy shop that changed me. We were half-way out of a shop when I saw the look of the owners grandchild running up to the old timer who we pushed on the floor. Crying and glaring at me, yelling me to stop hurting grandpa. The old man hushed the kid trying to keep things from escalating." Nana sniffled a bit.

"I stared at that kid, a part of me wanting to yell at the small child, another wanting to simply get the hell out of there. But my body wouldn't move at first, I thought maybe the kid was using a quirk on me. No, it was just me, that stupid man voice asking if my justice was worth pushing an old man to the ground for some freaking candy. What kind of justice allows itself to be hated by a child." Nana despondently let out.

"I dropped everything in my arms, I yelled at my groupies who were all trying to get me to follow them, I demanded they return everything right now. They of course were confused. The old man was confused. I of course was confused. I walked out and when my gang asked what that was about. I could only picture the child who should never have that look on their face. The look of hate, I was fighting for justice, wasn't I?" Nana paused to take a breath.

Izuku simply waited in silence for her to continue.

"I told them I was done with this crap. I told them if they wanted to continue this gang to find a new leader. I walked home that night slower then normal, I had run into that man again. He asked what happened, since my eyes weren't as fierce as the last time, he met me. I simply kept walking past him, he held out a paper for a hero school and told me if I was serious for fighting for justice to apply." Nana chuckled to herself.

"I was going to toss it, but something told me to trust that man, so I looked it up and although I had to cram a lot of studying to get in I did. I then would meet Gran Torino and we became partners. It wasn't long after I graduated that the battle with All For One happened with the 6th user, and of course I ran into that man once again. He told me all about One For All and it's history, I was a strong hero already so I guess I proved my worth to know. Sooner than he hoped he was about half dead and gave me the power. From there I found Toshinori and trained him knew he would be a far better hero then me." Nana finished her story.

"Wow…did All might even know about this?" Izuku had sparkles in his eyes.

"Haha no, he still thinks I was always a goodie two shoes." Nana winked. Izuku laughed, he knew something about All Might's master that even he didn't know.

"Point is though, Toru here was harming herself which really doesn't have that …hero spirit people talk about. You should know however that a diamond doesn't form unless it's put under a lot of pressure. I can tell you now the heroes who have low rankings isn't because of how strong they are. It's because they grew up without having to fight for something like Family, justice, friends, self-worth, there place in the world. Anything really, they were able to wake up every morning go to school, do some homework, hang with their friends and family and they got by." Nana shrugged.

"While they would have their bad days and rough moments, for the most part they never developed a conviction. I can tell you those at the top, the ones we read about and admire most of all. Rarely do you ever hear about what they went through specifically to get where they are. And the ones we do they usually make a tame version of what happened. Poor family, financial struggling, family drama."

"I believe that girl. Toru…she felt her life had significance ever time she hurt herself. She eventually discovered she didn't need to cut herself to prove that anymore. And now look at her, she's in a top school, has plenty of friends, crushing on a cute little boy." Nana nudged Izuku who blushed.

"Point is kid, don't look at her in pity, she did what she had to and now its your turn to look at her for how far she's come, not what she went through to get there. I'm sure with the way this is going, you will learn similar things about all your classmates. You're a prime example aren't you. What do you think your class mates would do if they found out about yo-"

"Stop, please. I I get it…" Izuku didn't want to hear those words come out of her mouth.

Nana stared at him for a moment, thinking about pressing on anyways but decided her point was made. They sat in silence for some minutes and finally Izuku spoke.

"There is one thing I wanted to ask, in that movie…The Green Mile…when I felt almost happy that someone lost their life…c-can I still be the one who gives hope?" Izuku looked desperately at the past hero.

"….So that's bugging you is it…" Nana sighed. "Midoriya, kid. Its hard to not kill villains." She stated simply.

"What do you mean?" Izuku widen his eyes in shock.

"Society wants heroes to be able to defeat people, while also wanting us to be good role models for morals reasons. Do you realize how hard it is to catch a villain who's wanted for murder, pedophilia, sex trafficking, etc and the second you beat them down and they beg fore mercy and not simply end their lives. Talking about it its easy to say you'd just knock them out or capture them and hand them over." Nana had fierce glare in her look.

"I guess it a bit dif-"

"Eri." Was all Nana said. Izuku snapped his head up her words.

"If you still had the energy and Eri wasn't around, when smacked him down that last time. And he was captured. If you were the only one around and he just simply became an accident on the ground. Would have been able to control yourself?" Nana questioned his very morals.

"Well I mean, he…he was already down so there wouldn't be a p-"

"What if you knew he touched her in inap-" Nana felt the mind scape shift and she watched Izuku's body flare powering up. Just the thought of someone doing such a thing to that little girl made him angry, just like Nana said. Had he been the only one around and stood over Overhaul even without the touching, the fact that girl was put through what she did. Izuku didn't think he could trust himself to think rationally at the time. So it was probably a good thing Eri's quirk went out of control and was able to distract him.

"I see..." Nana spoke softly.

"So…are you disappointed in my then…" Izuku was afraid to look her in the eyes.

"….Of course not. You even thinking about it and questioning if it would be right shows just how forgiving you can be, even to those who will never deserve it. In the worlds eyes they see heroes as light, but every light cast a shadow. You hear about accidental kills sometimes of villains and heroes. When a hero dies the villain is made out to be a monster, if the villain dies it was better it him then the hero, and usually the media spins it that if the hero didn't do what he did the victims around or what not would have died. But the hero agency hides a terrible secret Midoriya." Nana put a finger to her mouth.

"Sh-should you be telling me this?" Izuku was nervous now.

"You'd find out pretty soon once you become a pro anyways, Schools always hide this because if the public ever found out about this you can bet that people would start to question the legitimacy of heroes, as heroes always already do. There is a rule for pros. Never kill."

Izuku gulped.

"Really what it means is this, never kill unless we can cover it up." Nana almost whispered.

"that's…" Izuku mind stopped.

"Haven't you ever found it strange when there's an investigation on a villain and they give a tabloid of his capture, they only ever have a wanted poster picture of them, and they say they are being sent to someplace far from where they were captured. And then months or even years later there's and update saying a trial proved them guilty and usually some weird sentencing and then never again heard from. Those are the ones who don't actually get captured. We heroes notice it quite quickly. After all when you're the one who accidently or purposefully kills a villain and they can hide it. It eats at you." Nana clenched her fist.

"Have you ever…" Izuku felt like he didn't need her to respond.

"I wish I could say only once and by accident…then again I'm not sorry for what I've done. I almost guarantee however…there isn't a single Pro who isn't in the top say 200 who could tell you with a straight face they've never killed another human being. Not to say they don't regret or that it wasn't and accident. Point being the one thing they never prepare you for is taking another's life. Willingly or not." Nana leaned back on her arms and let out a heavy sigh.

"About you being happy about that bastard that died in the movie though, It's never good to be happy a death. You don't have to feel sad or guilty about the death of a person who don't care for, just never get so used to it you stop feeling anything. Feeling happy usually isn't that their dead, its that they can't continue to hurt others or a person you saved. Nana stared at the endless black ceiling of the mindscape.

Izuku looked down at his fist imagining his mother, his classmates, Eri, All Might, the girls. Could he ever face them if he took someone's life willingly. If a villain capture any of them, and his only choice was to kill them. Could he…would he. And if he did, would those he save still see him as a hero? Would his peers look at him in shame? Would Eri push him away, afraid of a monster?

He would have to wait another time to answer these questions. He felt the mindscape fading away meaning he was waking up.

This was not a sweet dream.

Who wants to take a guess what song came on at work while I was thinking bout some chapter ideas.

I actually Got this idea really early on during this stories development. I believe I was writing chapter 4 and had just posted chapter 1 when I thought of Toru's past. The book 'Cut' was something I remembered while writing this and took a bit of inspiration.

I don't know who well I made the flashback I originally made it as Toru telling it to Izuku, but then the cut scene I felt was more impactful as if we experienced it in real time as Toru, so I went back and edited it to change the perspective, I hope I didn't miss anything.

I'll catch you all in the next chapter hopefully I can get the next one out on time.

I also noticed in some of the reviews there's a lot of people really want a full harem. At the moment I have it planed to end on IzuXOcha, but maybe if enough there's a enough support I'll make a poll and see what people want.

As always favs, follows and reviews are appreciated.