Dating During Pandemic

Part IV

! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION !

COVID-19 is a serious issue and sensitive topic for many people.

Do NOT follow the advice given or actions taken or details provided in this story. Instead, refer to CDC for reliable information.

Disclaimer: All characters and some references are based off of Higuchi Tachibana's Gakuen Alice

This chapter contains topic relating to mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, and suicidal thoughts that might be distressing for some readers. Please read with discretion and seek out support if you need it.

The Zoom application popped open on Mikan's laptop, and a man's face appeared through the digital window.

"Hello, Mikan. How are you today?"

The brunette's smile widened as she could feel his calming presence, even from a mere video call.

"Hi Shiki, I'm doing good. How are you?"

"Not so bad myself. I'm slowly getting the hang of these online sessions. I'm an old dog, you see." He chuckled while Mikan rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Shiki, you're barely 40 years old. You're not old, you're just a grandpa at heart!"

"That, is also true," Shiki Masachika rubbed his chin with a satisfied look on his face. He couldn't help but take Mikan's comment as a compliment. "So, how have you been in the past few weeks, Mikan? I remember your mom was pestering you to move out of your apartment and stay at her place instead. Is she still doing that now?"

"Thank goodness, not anymore. She finally accepted the fact that I am not leaving this apartment."

Mikan learned from a young age that her mom had a special talent to frustrate the heck out of her. She loves her dearly, but the older Yukihira can be hard to deal with sometimes. "I'll probably just check on her house once in a while, since she's still stuck in Hokkaido."

Shiki nodded while scribbling on his notepad, "I see. Did you say anything to her that made her stop?"

"Uhm, kind of."

"What did you say?"

"I told her that she should trust me more."

"And?"

"I... told her that just because I've been dealing with a lot of things in the past, doesn't mean I'm not capable of taking care of myself."

"Good for you. How did she respond to that?"

"We had a long heart to heart talk after that," Mikan replied slowly before taking a deep breath. "Mom was blaming herself for everything that happened. You know, the usual. Her divorce, how it impacted me and my mental health, the things I did afterward. Sometimes I feel- "

Mikan paused and looked at the ceiling, while Shiki simply nodded, signaling that he was paying close attention to every single word she was saying.

"No matter how many times I told her it's not her fault, she still wouldn't listen. I can't help but feel guilty for making her so worried all the time. I know it's difficult for her to see me like this, but she's so scared I would do something stupid while she's far away. She's scared she wouldn't be able to do anything...once it's too late."

Shiki's grey eyes pierced her hazels like he knew what she meant, yet he had to confirm, "Too late?"

Mikan looked down and felt her hands trembling as her voice cracked, "She's scared I'd try to kill myself again."

Hotaru Imai was rarely surprised.

The young woman was an excellent strategist and a competitive chess player. She was used to making calculated moves that gave her little room for error. Known as one of the youngest rising business consultants, her set of clientele would make people turn their heads, and that, didn't even surprise her.

On the other hand, what she saw that evening, or precisely who she saw that evening, at Arakawa, a suburban area in Tokyo, was beyond her wildest predictions.

The young man tilted his head slightly as if recognizing her even with her face mask on. Standing in front of Alice Apartment with a takeout box in his hands, it was obvious that he had picked up a dinner order from a nearby restaurant.

"I believe we've met before. It's Imai, right? Hotaru Imai?"

Hotaru nodded in response, as she reluctantly peeled off her black mask and placed it under her chin. Her amethyst eyes analyzed his figure from head to toe. Tall, probably around 6'0. Pretty good build, not too skinny, not too bulky. Raven-haired, a little messy but kempt.

There was no mistake, she had met him a couple of years ago, during one or two meetings with a particular potential client.

"Natsume Hyuuga, I recall. How are you?"

"Good, how about you? I didn't know you live here."

"I don't. I'm just visiting a friend," Hotaru lifted a paper bag on her left hand as if it would provide an explanation, "How long have you lived here?"

"About two weeks, actually. I'm not a tenant, my friend is. He's doing me a favor by letting me stay here."

Hotaru raised one of her eyebrows as something didn't add up. "You're not staying with Luna?" At her luxurious condo in Minato?

Natsume's expression changed, and the young woman immediately got her answer.

"I see. I'm sorry, Hyuuga, I didn't know you two broke up."

"It's alright. Probably the whole world will find out soon."

Mikan always felt like there was something wrong with her. She was weak. She wasn't strong enough.

She was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode once she could no longer hold her emotions.

She never should've had a breakdown when dad left them for another family. She shouldn't have been depressed afterward. She shouldn't have made everyone worried.

Why did she even do that? She caused so much trouble for everyone. Why was she even alive, if all she ever did was being a burden to others?

No one would miss her if she was gone anyway.

She was really better off dea-

"It is not your fault that everything happened the way it was, Mikan." Shiki said softly, breaking the brunette's catastrophic thoughts. "It is not your fault. I want you to remember that."

Remember that.

Mikan could feel a pool of tears were forming at the back of her eyes while he gently continued, "It wasn't your fault that your dad left. And it wasn't your fault that you experienced so much sorrow when he did. Losing a family member, in any sort of fashion, would trigger pain and grieve that any human being would experience."

Her tears fell and Mikan found herself sobbing, just like she did on her first therapy session with Shiki.

"Thanks, Shiki. I-I really needed to hear that. I really needed it."

Hotaru almost felt bad for the young man. She could imagine how the press would react once they find out Luna Koizumi had split up with her commoner boyfriend of three years. What a downside of dating someone famous. You'd have little to zero privacy throughout the relationship.

"Would you like to wait inside?" Natsume pointed at the door, "I can buzz you in-"

The apartment's entrance was pushed open, revealing a brunette in a pair of pajama shorts and a light pink sweater. She spotted the black-haired woman and grinned, "Hotaru! I'm so glad to see you. Thank you so much for coming all the way here. I wish I could hug you right now."

A few seconds later, she noticed the man standing next to her friend and gasped, "Eh? Natsume?"

Hotaru immediately glanced at the young man, whose crimson eyes widen in disbelief.

"No way."

"Of course."

"You two know each other?"

Natsume always believed that everything happens for a reason. And that night, he couldn't be more right.

The brunette, who was walking six feet away from him, was laughing as they exited the elevator. "I think that was the first time I saw Hotaru looked so stunned! Oh gosh, I wish I took a picture with my phone earlier. She would've been so annoyed."

Natsume let out a small smile as he found her laughter infectious. "So, you two are childhood friends?"

"Yup. We met in first grade and were stuck together like glue. I was very attached to her back then," Mikan chuckled and asked him in return. "How did you know Hotaru?"

The raven-haired hesitated for a second, before exhaling what felt like suffocating air in his lungs. "A few years ago, my ex-girlfriend almost hired Imai as her consultant. We met a few times during the meetings."

Mikan blinked a few times before trying to put the pieces together. The fact that his ex-girlfriend needed Hotaru's professional services, must mean that she had been a public figure then. "Ah, what a coincidence that you two meet again. Now, of all times!"

"Oh yes, what a coincidence indeed," Natsume bitterly said. "Especially since we just recently broke up."

"By the way, your stepdad, Izumi, had been a sensitive topic for both you and your mom in the past. Did she mention anything about him at all?"

"Actually, not really," Mikan gulped, and her eyes wandered off. "I know I should try to trust Izum- I mean, dad, more. He seems like a good guy. It's just..."

She had mentioned this to Shiki a million times before, but she was going to say it again. "Ever since my biological dad left, it's been really hard for me to open up to new people. I know that I'm getting better day by day, but I'm not where I want to be yet. Not where I should be."

Shiki looked at the brunette in the eyes, as if ready to drop some of his nuggets of wisdom. He always had something encouraging to say, in which Mikan tremendously appreciated.

"Trusting people is scary, Mikan. It's risky. You might get hurt, and they might let you down. But remember, not everyone out there is going to hurt you. There are good people, genuine people, who are waiting for you to break those walls. You said that Izumi seems like a good person, right? Perhaps, it is worth the shot to believe in your guts and give him a chance. A chance to get to know you and have you in his life."

Mikan gave her therapist a weak smile as she knew he was right. Izumi had officially become her stepdad about one and a half years ago. Probably it was time she slowly accepted him into her life.

"I'll try, Shiki. Maybe I'll ask how he's doing the next time mom calls. I think she'd appreciate that too."

"Let me know how it goes if you do," Shiki added. After being her therapist for the last five years, Shiki had grown to care for the young lady like she was his own niece. It saddened him that such a cheerful young lady was hiding a lot of pain behind her smiles.

"I'm so sorry," the brunette quietly replied. She didn't know the young man had been going through heartbreak. That was probably why he looked like a zombie when they first met, and not just because of the jet lag.

"Not your fault." Natsume thought he would feel sad by now. Mentioning or even remembering his ex-girlfriend had always been hard. To his surprise, sharing the truth with another person felt like a big wake up call. With or without Luna, life still went on. Perhaps he really needed to stop drinking, or moping around, and started making the effort to move forward with his own life.

"So, Hotaru came all the way here to give you that bag. If you don't mind me asking, what's inside?"

Mikan almost stopped on her tracks, but decided to look straight ahead to the hallway instead. She wasn't sure whether she should tell him the truth. They've known each other for what, almost two weeks now? Yes, they had been exchanging messages lately, but mainly her giving him tips on where to find a good bakery in the neighborhood, or which local restaurant has the best karaage. This might be too personal to share. Too close to home.

Noticing the brunette's contemplation, Natsume cleared his throat, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just curious."

Mikan wasn't sure if it was because of what he said. Or because she remembered the familiar somber look on his face when they first met. Or everything intertwined, like he too was sharing a similar burden like hers.

Nevertheless, she made an impulsive decision there and then and replied, "It's my anti-depressants. Hotaru's older brother is a pharmacist, and he compounds my prescribed medication for me."

.

Natsume paused for a second to take in what Mikan just said. He didn't know that Mikan had a condition that required her to take medications regularly, but he did know a thing or two about anti-depressants in general.

"I see. Is it for depression or anxiety by any chance?"

"Yup, both of them. I always keep some medicine at home, just in case I have, uhm, an episode."

The young man simply nodded while Mikan squirmed uneasily, suddenly regretting her decision, "Sorry, this must be awkward for you. I could never guess people's reactions when I tell them these things."

Natsume noticed her downcast eyes and knitted his eyebrows in dissent. Why should she be sorry?

"No, I don't think this is awkward," he said while putting one of his hands in his pocket. "Some people have physical illness, like diabetes or even cancer. Take me for an example, I have asthma," Natsume confessed while shooting her a 'don't-ask-about-it' look that made Mikan bit a smile.

"On the other hand, some others have mental illness. Like depression, bipolar, or anxiety. If you think about it, we're both in a way similar, aren't we?"

Mikan tilted her head in confusion while Natsume smirked in return, "We're both sick in our own ways."

The brunette immediately felt her cheeks redden without her consent. She did not expect that kind of response from him, but was pleasantly surprised. Very pleasantly surprised.

"Thanks Natsume. I appreciate that."

The tiniest smile formed on his lips, as he noticed that he had been smiling more around this particular young woman.

"You're welcome, Mikan. Anytime."

"On another note, how is working from home and adjusting to everything since COVID happened? Are you practicing social distancing regularly?"

"Working from home is not that bad. My boss, Narumi, however is pretty adamant about seeing our faces in every video meeting. Every. Single. One. Such a bummer that I can't be in my pajamas all the time," Mikan pretended to scoff, earning a chuckle from Shiki in return. In their previous call, Mikan had told him how grateful she was to continue working from home. Not everyone had the luxury to do so after all.

"Although, a funny story, I bumped into this guy in the grocery store a few weeks ago, and he turned out to be my neighbor. Or at least my neighbor for now. Isn't that crazy? It's such a small world after all!"

"Oh?" Shiki raised his eyebrow with interest. Funny story, she said. It had been a while since Mikan mentioned any new men in her life, and this conversation definitely piqued his interest.

"Temporary neighbor, you said? Please do tell. How old is he?"

Shiki's eyes glinted as he purposefully took a sip from his mug, making Mikan uncomfortably laugh.

"Y-yes. He looks like he's in his mid to late 20s, but I have a feeling he's older than me."

"I see. And you two just bumped into each other in the grocery store? Just like that?"

Mikan grimaced as she recalled how Natsume didn't exactly have the best first impression when they first met.

"Well...he coughed in my face," the brunette bluntly said and Shiki almost choked on his water.

"He did what?!"

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N/A

Hi everyone! Thank you so so much for your supportive reviews/faves/follows. Receiving them makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside (hehe) and I really appreciate them :)

Shoutout to these amazing people who reviewed the latest chapter. You guys are awesome and truly encouraged me to continue writing: AriCat-Hg, layliaman98, Lady Monroe, Guest, greentea, NatMikan, SapphireAngel96, Meghan.

This chapter is extra special and slightly longer (and slightly delayed...), because (apparently) May is mental health awareness month!

I put a notice at the beginning so readers are aware of this chapter's theme and read with caution. Life can get stressful and overwhelming, especially during quarantine, and I'd like to bring up how important mental health is through this story.

Reminder to yourself: It's okay to be a couch potato and not learn a new language. It's okay to gain a couple of pounds instead of doing more ab challenges. It's okay to just simply be you and do you!

In case you need it, here's an extra smiley to brighten up your screen :)

As always, stay safe out there and don't hoard too much on meat!