I suggest reading 'When all is darkest we find each other' first, since that is the first part of the series this story belongs to. Otherwise it might not make much sense. Later on I may add an other part of the story between the first and this one, but given the deadline for the 'In Memorial: Ace' event on tumblr, I have decided to finish this one first.
This is somewhere between 'A Glance Back' and 'Denial Land' for the categories in the In Memoriam event. On one hand, looking back on what the WG did to Ace, an explanation he probably didn't get in canon. On the other, since this is a Revolutionary ASL AU, chances are that Marineford won't happen the same way as in canon.
Set a few months after 'When all is darkest we find each other'. Ace and Sabo are somewhere between 10 and 11 years old here.
The thing was, Ace respected Dragon. He respected him a whole lot. And that, he thought darkly, was exactly the problem right now.
He didn't want to lie. Not to the man who had saved Sabo. Who had taken Ace in even though he was rude and violent and so used to doing his own thing that settling in any kind of routine he didn't decide on himself felt like being put in a straightjacket. Who accepted Ace and Sabo, their wildness and their closeness, their inseparableness, without comment. Dragon was helping, helping him get stronger, faster, smarter, and made sure he was taught all kinds of stuff he needed to know to pay the Celestial Dragons back for what they did.
And that, again, was exactly the problem…
"Come on Ace. You heard what Hack said in class. I don't think Dragon will mind," Sabo said softly. "Not if they teach everyone things like that."
"I know. I know. But what if-" Ace couldn't finish. The thought was too horrible. He didn't want to think what the consequences could be.
"Dad won't!" Luffy declared. Luffy had no idea what it all was about, Ace knew. Only that it was important to Ace and that he was afraid to tell anyone about it. Still, the reassurance and the simple, unapologetic faith Luffy had in the people he loved put him a little at ease.
"Then we'll leave," Sabo said bluntly. "Wherever we'll go after, I won't abandon you. But I don't think it'll be necessary. It's Dragon."
"Yeah! My dad won't make you leave! I won't let him!" Luffy said cheerfully, flinging himself at Ace for a comforting hug.
Ace nodded and even accepted the hug for a few seconds before he pushed Luffy away. Gulped, and looked up at the door they had arrived at. With Sabo and Luffy's reassuring presences flanking him, Ace took a deep breath and knocked.
"It's open."
Another deep breath. This was it.
Refusing to allow his hand to tremble even a little, Ace opened the door a crack so they could peer into Dragon's office. Dragon was sitting at his desk, bent over a stack of papers. Bluntly, because he knew no other way to be, Ace said, "I want to talk with you."
"If you have time, sir," Sabo added quickly.
Dragon looked up and eyed them sharply. He put his pen down and leaned back in his chair. "Come in."
They shuffled inside and Ace made sure the door was fully closed before he slowly met Dragon's eyes. Having the full attention of the leader of the Revolutionary Army always felt like being stared down at by a massive predator. For a moment, Ace wished he had his pipe.
Not that his pipe would be any help, if Dragon reacted badly. Ace knew he couldn't beat Luffy's father yet.
"What is this about?"
To his embarrassment Ace noticed his hands were shaking despite his best efforts to make them stop. He quickly stuffed them in his pockets.
Sabo and Luffy were both looking at him. Ace opened his mouth. Closed it. Took a breath and blurted out "I- my father-" His mouth clicked shut, the words stuck in his throat like sharp pieces of bone. He felt himself clam up and hated himself for it. This was so pathetic.
"Is this about Gol D Roger?" Dragon asked with an air of knowing curiosity.
Ace stared. Sabo stared. Luffy leaned back on his heels, humming distractedly and eying the leftovers from Dragon's lunch without any subtlety whatsoever.
"H-how did you know?" Ace croaked.
"An educated guess. My father claimed you as his grandson but you are not a child of mine, and I have no siblings. There is a limited number of people he would be willing to do such a thing for, and even less who would require it. Combined with the fact that you weren't living in Foosha Village indicates that he was trying to hide you. Gol D Roger was simply the most likely candidate."
"... Oh." Ace and Sabo shared an uncomfortable look. Luffy looked like he was nearly vibrating with excitement but was holding himself back because Ace was so uncomfortable. He was also sneaking closer to the plate of leftovers on the side table. Dragon ignored his son's oncoming thievery in favour of studying Ace.
"Was that what you wanted to talk about?"
"You don't care?!"
Dragon blinked, unperturbed. "No."
"It's cool!" Luffy shouted around a mouthful of chicken rice. "The old Pirate King is your dad?! He's almost as cool as mine!"
Those words earned him an amused smile from his father.
"But- I'm a monster!" Ace spluttered in protest.
Dragon regarded him for a long moment and made a small gesture that shut Luffy up quicker than anything. Luffy closed his mouth again without shouting whatever he wanted to say, which was a relief to Ace. And not just because he did not want to see the half-chewed food.
"Come here," Dragon said softly, pushing his chair away from his desk. Reluctantly, Ace approached, and was startled when Dragon did to him what he'd so far only done to Luffy. Lifted him up and put him in his lap, like he was still a little kid that couldn't even walk properly, or some kind of pet. Ace squirmed uncomfortably. Dragon was very tall and felt very large just standing nearby. Being in such close contact only made it worse. "What do you know about your father?"
"I- He was a demon and a monster and everyone hates him. I shouldn't have been born because I'm his son."
Sabo made a distressed sound and Luffy looked so shocked and outraged it was almost comical.
"I see," Dragon said, still softly, as if Ace was a scared little baby animal that needed to be treated with the utmost care. Any other time Ace would have snapped to be treated like that. Now it made something dark and foreboding settle in his gut like lead.
Dragon stood up without letting go of Ace, which made the dark-haired boy yelp in indignation. "I think it's time you learned more about the insidious effects of propaganda and framing."
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Dragon took them down to the archives. Ordered the two people working there away to gather a whole list of files and claimed one of the small side offices.
He had all three of them sit down around the desk just as the first of the ordered documents arrived.
Then, he talked. He pulled reports from manila folders and laid them out to illustrate his story, before putting them back to make place for the next ones.
Ace could only stare and listen, and slowly start to shake all over at the picture Dragon sketched.
Beside him Sabo and Luffy made all kinds of noises. Some surprised, other shocked, but most with incandescent fury burning behind it. Only Dragon's stern looks kept them from interrupting beyond that.
At one point, Sabo started to whisper curses under his breath.
Ace… Ace just sat frozen, barely able to keep processing their leader's words and the evidence he presented.
Sheaf upon sheaf of paper, dissecting exactly how, when, and how badly the World Government had twisted the people's views on his… his old man. Stuff that was left out, stuff that was never even mentioned or just flat out denied, stuff that was taken from the worst possible perspective they could; destruction reigned for the sake of his crew or in defence of innocents got twisted till it was random whimsy and a threat to everyone who had been on the same area, when the real threat had been the marines themselves who had been willing to kill hundreds just to get at a few wanted men. The Pirate King before he was the Pirate King and Gramps fighting together against a monster of a pirate and winning, yet only his Gramps being called a hero for it, Roger's role erased as if he had never even been near. Covered up and denied, as if it didn't matter that he had helped stop that crew's rampage. So many examples, heaps and heaps of files that all told him the whole world had been lied to.
Gol D Roger had been monstrously strong, true. Had had the devil's own luck, true. Had had a temper very much like Ace himself, quick to ignite and horrible in its strength when loved ones were threatened. But what wasn't true, according to Dragon and the Revolutionary Army's sources, was that he had been some sort of evil demon, a curse upon the world.
Gol D Roger had just… just been a man, who had lived his life however he wanted and bore the consequences with a smile. Who had sacrificed himself, time and time again to protect the people he cared about. Who had lived with the kind of freedom Ace desperately wanted for himself.
Ace's world tilted on its axis. Ace felt sick from the sudden feeling of vertigo.
Dragon drew some comparisons between Ace's father and other prominent figures. Celestial Dragons, visiting horror upon horror onto those in their service. Praised as if their cruelty was a kindness, instead of something they should be executed for in an instant. High ranking marines, who wrought untold destruction in their pursuit of those the World Government had decided did not fit in their neat worldview. Kaidou and Big Mom, two notorious pirates who were far worse than Roger ever was, leading true reigns of terror on their crews and territories. And those two were Yonkou, rulers of the New World, and even they weren't vilified as badly as the late Pirate King was.
"People can be symbols," Dragon told them. "Be they demons or martyrs or saints, or anything in between. The World Government needs monsters and bogeymen to keep the ordinary people from rebelling against them. Give people an enemy larger than their tormentors, and most will fold under the yoke like willing cattle. Will keep their doors firmly shut if those who would help them come knocking. I myself am seen as a monster by most too. The World Government has ensured that. But the people the Revolutionary Army frees know my true intentions. By them, I have often been called a saviour. To my own people, I am their trusted leader. I may be called a monster by the world, but I am so for a reason. It is because to the Government, I am someone they want dead more than anything. I am more wanted than the Yonkou because I dare defy them."
The ghost of a smile played around his lips as he regarded his three avid listeners. "Whose opinion do you think I should weigh more heavily? The world's, or the opinion of the people who know me?"
Dragon's countenance grew stern, willing them to understand what he told them. "Never take what you are told for face value. Think critically, no matter how pretty or ugly a picture people paint you. Everyone can be manipulated, and there are always multiple sides to any story."
Dragon met Ace eyes and held them. Ace was trapped in his gaze.
"I can tell you this, Ace: your father's reputation as evil incarnate, like your own," Dragon said to him, blunt but sympathetic, "is the result of deliberate, targeted malice. It has little to do with his or your true natures."
It was- it was- It was painful and agonizing and unbelievable.
"So you see, Ace," Dragon said softly. "You are not a monster. You deserve to live as much as anyone else. The only curse you bear is the World Government's obsession with your father. No other."
"So… all of it… all of it was a lie? Just… just a lie?" Ace almost didn't recognize his own voice. Thin and shaking, like a brittle stick about to break.
"Those bastards!" Sabo hissed, so angry he was near tears. "Those goddamn bastards!"
Ace stared. Stared for long, long seconds at all the evidence Dragon had laid out. He felt himself shake, fine tremors like the prelude of an earthquake. He felt faint, as if he wasn't getting enough air. As if his entire self was hollowed out, only barbed wire left to scrape against empty insides. It felt like falling, as if the ground had disappeared from under him.
Dragon caught him as he staggered. "A lie. All of it… just a lie?" he couldn't stop repeating. It was… it was….
It cracked him, right down through the middle. There was- He could barely comprehend it. All this time- For so long- And… it wasn't even true? Everything he'd heard, everything he'd been told… and it wasn't even really true? Was just smoke and mirrors and pretty words set in neat typesetting on corpse-white paper, bleeding red in the fire the World Government had set to the world…
Ace couldn't- He couldn't- he just couldn't! Couldn't accept it, as if the words were running into a glass wall just before they reached him. He could see them, but there was still some separation, fragile as it was. It was all so unbelievable. So unreal.
Yet, there was so much evidence. Sheaf upon sheaf upon heaping mountains of files. Every single sheet of paper telling him in detail how and when the World Government had lied. The reactions. How most people had just… lapped it up, as if it wasn't poison dripping into your brain through your eyes.
He gripped his hair, nearly yanking a handful of the dark strands out in his distress. The pain, that would otherwise be grounding, now barely even registered.
Seeing it laid out like that, having it explained in a calm voice by a man he respected so much, knowing his leader wasn't the kind to lie… It almost felt like floating. Like drowning. Like diving without intending to. Plunging under icy storm-tossed waves. Like being surrounded by water, just before your lungs started to scream for air. No surface in sight, everything muffled. Salt water blurring your vision. The feeling of pressure everywhere, but mostly in his chest. It- It was- Ace just couldn't comprehend it.
He felt himself break. Like a ceramic bowl falling from a great height onto unforgiving stone, shattering in slow-motion. A howl rose in his throat. He did not have the will to hold it back. He staggered backwards, nearly screaming from the sheer intensity of everything he was feeling. His breath tearing from him in great uncontrollable heaves. Denial bleeding like ichor form his chest, clogging his airways.
Sabo caught him before he could flee. Held him tight. Ace struggled furtively against the feeling of being trapped even further. He wanted away. He wanted to be alone. His entire existence, everything all those people told him- It was all lies. All just lies. And endlessly, a single question kept bouncing through his head like a ballistic cannonball, echoing why why why-?
Arms wrapped around him. Ace only put up a token struggle before he collapsed into them and buried his howls into a broad shoulder. Two warm weights pressed against his back, holding him as he fell apart.
If I'm not a monster… Then what the hell am I?
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It took him a long time to calm down. To realize he was once more in Dragon's lap, and Sabo and Luffy had their arms wrapped around him.
Ace clutched them back with all the desperate power he had. Right now they felt like the only steady things in his world.
One question still burned on his tongue. More pressing than even the 'why'.
"Should I be alive?" Ace asked in a small voice that was hoarse from the racket he had made. He would be embarrassed by it later but right now all he could focus on was Dragon's answer. For once truly terrified of the answer, yet at the same time with a desperate hope that ached beneath his ribs.
"Yes," Dragon said, so bluntly it was like a strike to Ace's core. His answer was echoed by twin shouts in his ears from Sabo and Luffy. His breath whooshed out of him to fold around the word like his body would fold around a physical blow.
He- That was- Just like that-?
Dragon continued as if he hadn't just delivered a verbal sucker punch to Ace's head that left him reeling and staring at his clenched fists in his lap with hurt bewilderment, because no one ever told him that. No one but Sabo. And now not just Dragon, but Luffy too. Even Gramps hadn't told him that, only gave a nonsense answer that made him wonder whether Gramps' answer would have been 'no' if he'd been willing to be honest. "You are a good friend to your brother and my son. You are loyal and headstrong and determined. You have a tough exterior but at your core you are kind. You help those around you and protect them."
Dragon gently lifted Ace's chin and looked him in the eye, which made his next words all the more impactful. "You are a good person, Ace. You make Luffy and Sabo happy, and the other children already look up to you. You should be alive. Never let someone tell you otherwise. Your mother and you, and yes, also your father, were targeted by the World Government because they dared defy the World Government's rule. Be like your parents, and never let the World Government make you their victim." A grin, so much like Luffy's, only darker, more targeted. A tiger ready to lunge at his enemy. "Not without one hell of a fight."
Ace felt his lips tremble, and pressed his face back against his leader's shoulder. For the second time that day Ace broke down crying. Quieter than the first, but bleeding just as much hurt. Dragon held him through it all, steady as a mountain.
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When his hiccupping sobs finally died down, Dragon handed him a glass of water from… somewhere. Ace hadn't been paying attention. "Feeling better?"
Wordlessly Ace nodded, embarrassment sitting hot and uncomfortable beneath his skin. He accepted the glass gratefully, glad to have something to occupy his hands. The water was cool and helped with the beginnings of a headache he hadn't realized had formed. Sabo and Luffy were warm comforting weights at his sides and back as he tried to gather his courage to say anything.
"You are not the first they did this to," Dragon said, almost comfortingly, beating him to the punch. "Others before you have been hunted like this too. Ostracized and demonized for being someone the World Government disapproves of. You will most certainly not be the last. The World Government is always looking for convenient scapegoats and victims to use for their own purposes."
"Even little kids?" Ace asked bitterly.
"Oh, certainly. Children are some of their favourite targets because they can't fight back yet. Why do you think there are so many children here?"
While Ace was gaping at Dragon, Sabo's control over himself snapped. "How do we stop them?" Sabo demanded. Ace could feel him shake from the force of his anger, and the hold he had on Ace was nearly painful. "Those assholes- we can't just let them do that to Ace!"
"Yeah!" Luffy yelled. "We can't let them be that mean to Ace! It's not fair!"
One of the things that made Sabo and Ace respect Dragon was how serious he took their outbursts. How he didn't sugar-coat but also didn't go out of his way to make the truth hurt and did his best to explain. "At this point it will be hard to turn public opinion on Gol D Roger around. For that there are too many who have already accepted the World Government's fabrications as truth. Similarly, Ace's reputation has been too heavily damaged to be easily resolved. But what we can do if offer safe haven to you and all those who have fallen victim to their rule. And, with your aid, strike back. You two are strong. I have no doubt that in the future, you will prove yourself invaluable members of our organisation."
"But- If people know-" Ace trailed off. Dragon wasn't implying what Ace thought he was implying, was he? The mere thought felt like being dunked in ice water. He quickly put the glass on the desk before he cracked it.
"We start with ourselves and the rest of the Army. The late Pirate King is a common example used in our classes on propaganda. If we shift the emphasis a little more to his child, none should care should you ever chose to reveal your identity."
"… You're not just gonna tell them?" Ace asked hopefully.
"No. that would pose too much of a risk to you. If the information ever escaped outside our ranks you would be in unnecessary danger. No doubt the World Government would also use it to vilify us further. Since so many people hate your father for his hand in starting this age of piracy, they would probably succeed in increasing suspicions against us." He met Ace's eyes. "This is not however, reason not share your true parentage with anyone. Nor will I order you to. Your identity is yours, so if you trust someone, feel free to tell them. Just make clear that they are not allowed to spread it further."
"I'd rather just forget everything about it," Ace muttered.
"That is an option too," Dragon said calmly. "You have no obligation to share anything if you do not want to. You would not be the first to leave behind your old identity. Choose whatever you wish."
And that… that was a gift of freedom Ace never hadn't known he wanted. But it felt so, so good to have.
"Thank you," he said softly.
A large hand landed on his head and ruffled his hair. Ace squawked indignantly.
"No, Ace, thank you. It is obvious this is a very difficult topic for you, so thank you for sharing it with me," Dragon said warmly. "That was very brave, and I'm honoured by your trust."
Ace felt heat rise to his cheeks and ducked his head to hide it. "'Twas no problem," he muttered.
"Shishishi. When I'm big, I'm gonna make sure no one hurts Ace again," Luffy laughed. "I won't let them spread mean lies anymore!"
Ace felt the heat on his face increase exponentially. "S-shut up!" he snapped, furious with embarrassment. "When I'm big, I'll deal with them myself! I won't need a little crybaby to help me!"
Sabo laughed. "Maybe I'll beat you to it," he said with cheerful challenge. "You're my brother, no way I'll let them get away with this! Those assholes won't know what hit them!"
Ace sputtered indignantly and Dragon laughed. "Whatever you'll do, I'm sure that the three of you together can make the World Government regret their choices," he said, amusement making his dark eyes dance. Suddenly, he was no longer the imposing leader of the Revolutionary Army, but simply Luffy's dad, who was as always entertained by their antics.
All three of them grinned at that, bashful but happy to hear he had such faith in them.
"We need to celebrate!" Luffy declared suddenly. "Come on, let's go see if we can get some leftovers. I'm hungry!"
"Wha- but we just ate lunch!" Sabo protested laughingly. "And you stole your dad's!"
"Don't care, let's go!"
Ace laughed too. And if it was a little shaken still, no one called him out on it.
He wasn't alright yet. Far from it. He was going to have to think about things, and probably read the files Dragon showed them more thoroughly. But for the first time since Sabo accepted him, Ace felt a foreign lightness in his heart. It was as if the whole world had suddenly become brighter.
He had told an adult his secret, and Dragon hadn't kicked him out. Had instead told him stuff he wished Gramps had told him before. Had accepted him and not even minded when Ace had been all clingy and acting like a crybaby.
It was more than he'd ever dared hope for.
He still didn't know what to think of his own father, but for the first time, Gol D Roger's shadow didn't feel as dark or as heavy.
For now, that was enough.