Author's Notes: Thank you all for the warm welcome! I was worried, given some of the controversies surrounding my personal preferences in D&D and Ranma both, but I'm glad readers seem to be liking this! Apologies for the delay in a new chapter, but real life decided it would be fun to throw some huge curveballs my way and... yeah, it's been a pain.

The Astartes: Yeah, Planescape was (in theory) the first of the major D&D settings to really stray far away from the "humans and demihumans in the mainstream" focus of TSR's worlds. In practice, it wasn't so good at it, but you will definitely see much more varied races and creatures here than you would in a typical Ranma/Forgotten Realms or Ranma/Greyhawk crossover! In fact, you might be interested in checking out the article "List of D&D PC Races" on 1d4chan - the wiki's language can be crude, but it's the single biggest depository of online lore for the many, MANY different PC races that have been part of D&D since its inception!

Crescent Pulsar: Yeah, on reflection, I maybe could have handled Ukyo's "lore dumping" better in the first chapter. But, in fairness, it's intentional that she's going to get some stuff wrong, since she's working on dimly remembered memories of a Japanese translation of AD&D 1st edition (as filtered through a group of typical Japanese nerds), and the world I'm playing with is basically D&D 4th edition, absorbing things I like from many other settings and editions. In particular, I hope you'll find Ukyo's explanation for how she got confused by Baeloth and Weltha's races in this chapter acceptable.

WoodXVII: Well, in fairness, most Planescape fans would denounce what I'm working with as not being "real" Planescape in the first place, which is one of the reasons I used the "Homebrew" world-tag. But I'm still glad you like it and I hope you enjoy the fic to come!

Death of Snipers: It's tricky to really gauge Ranma & co's power level, to be honest. It's hard to even compare them to other shonen anime, since Ranma 1/2 fluctuates between being an action show and a comedy show. This probably doesn't help you, but on 4e's Tiers scale (three tiers of 10 levels, with godhood lying beyond the 30th), I'd call them High Heroic (8-10) to Low Paragon (11-13); from a D&D perspective, they're Medium+ Fish in a Tiny Pond, if that helps? "Generic" type foes will not stand much of a threat, but they're not going to just run rampant over the setting, either. As for your other questions... well, you'll see the answers in-chapter, hopefully.

Chapter 2: Losing (Finding?) One's Way

One might have expected Ranma to be the first of the four teens to waken, given his rather tense relationship with having any girl in close proximity to him back in Nerima, never mind three of them at once.

However, one failing that Ranma had in common with his father, and one that Ranma would actually admit to sharing, albeit reluctantly, was this: Once Ranma fell asleep, he was a naturally deep sleeper. Despite years of training by Genma to overcome this weakness, Ranma just couldn't normally spring awake - once he fell asleep, he went out like a light. Genma had ultimately resigned himself to simply teaching his son the art of intuitive sleep defense, allowing Ranma to dodge attacks without even waking up to do so.

No, the first of the four lost teens to awaken was Shampoo. Whilst Nyuchiehzu was not, as some of the bigots around Nerima had proclaimed, still caught in the Stone Age - they had their own printing press, running water, indoor plumbing, phone lines and electricity, thank you very much - it was an agricultural community in a very rural part of the world.

Life for a Joketsuzoku began at dawn, and even a professional Warrior like Shampoo was expected to pull her weight; there was wood to chop, laundry to do, seeds to sow, harvests to take in, snares to check, wild game to be hunted, eggs to be collected, livestock to feed, milk and butcher... and then there was the matter of training and sparring!

Moving to the city had lightened the load of her chores, but not as much as one might suppose; at the Nekohanten, Shampoo's morning tasks included cleaning, taking inventory, shopping and cooking - and all that before the shop opened for actual business!

So it was that, on pure instinct and conditioning, Shampoo was the first of the quartet to open her eyes on their first morning in Sigil. In that foggy state of the newly awakened, she felt the warmth of a body partially under hers, a heartbeat gently echoing in her ear, and she immediately leapt to the understandable conclusion.

"Ranma?" she asked softly, sitting up and looking to the face of her impromptu mattress... only to pout as she realized that she'd actually been cuddling up to Ukyo, who was lying there sleeping on her back.

'Well, that's a waste of a damn fine dream...' Shampoo mentally grumbled to herself.

Even as she was thinking that, Ukyo stirred, moaning softly before she opened her eyes, though whether she was awakened by her own shopkeeper's conditioning or Shampoo's gaze, who could say? She blinked up at Shampoo, staring at her levelly, and then commented in a flat tone, "If you strangle me, Ranchan will know it was you."

Shampoo nearly fell over in shock at her rival's words. "W-what you talking about?! Shampoo not thinking that!" she hissed, barely remembering to keep her voice down at the last moment.

"Then why are you hovering over me?" Ukyo dryly quipped back.

"Shampoo just wake up!" The Chinese Amazon retorted indignantly. "Where you come up with this stuff?"

"Yesterday, you tried to chop Nabiki's head off in the middle of the schoolyard. Gonna be a long time before you live that down, China girl."

Shampoo fumed, fingers curling themselves into dainty fists of rage. 'Still... stupid Ukyo has a point,' she reluctantly conceded to herself. She forced herself to take a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. "Shampoo understand. But Shampoo promise truce, and Shampoo mean it. Shampoo just up because this always time of morning when Shampoo get up for restaurant. Why Ukyo up?" she asked, to try and emphasize her attempt to be civil.

Ukyo stared warily at her, but the apparent sincerity of her Chinese rival prompted her to reply in a similar manner. "Same reason. This's about the time I'd have to get up and start getting the restaurant in order before I go to school."

"Ah," Shampoo said, nodding with a knowing expression. She cast a glance over to the side, shoulders slumping as she made out the almost completely hidden form of Ranma, pressed up against the wall with Nabiki as a human shield between him and his real fiancées. "So... what you want do? Try and get back to sleep?" Shampoo suggested, with a tilt towards Ranma.

"...It's tempting, but nah," Ukyo slowly replied with a small look of longing towards the boy in their midst. "Maybe we can find the kitchen and start getting a start on breakfast? Weltha could probably use a pair of hands in her condition."

"That sound good to Shampoo," the Joketsuzoku agreed, nodding chipperly. 'Maybe making a delicious breakfast will help Ranma start forgetting about yesterday...'

Getting to the kitchen was actually easier said than done. The hallways were dark as a moonless night, and whilst both girls had superior senses to the untrained individual, that didn't mean they had a pair of night vision goggles strapped to their heads. They bumped into things and tripped repeatedly, muffling curses until finally, by sheer luck, they swung open a door into what was unmistakably a kitchen.

"Well, you're up early," Weltha noted from where she was tending to a black iron stove, one slung low to the ground and clearly made for somebody of her relatively diminutive stature.

"Oh! Good morning, Mrs. Ryltar. Yes, we're used to getting up earlier. We were wondering if maybe you would like a hand with making breakfast? I know how hard it must be to have so many new mouths to feed," Ukyo said, bowing apologetically for emphasis.

"Well, aren't you a polite young girl? A hand would be most welcome. Come in, come in," the dam said, beckoning them inside.

The kitchen was at once strange and familiar, though less of the former and more of the latter to Shampoo. To their politely suppressed surprise, they found themselves assigned to peeling and dicing potatoes or washing and chopping mushrooms, whilst Weltha busied herself with meat and eggs. Evidently, meals at the Ryltar home tended to be fried more often than not - an odd thing, from their perspective, but neither was rude enough to comment on it. After all, this wasn't Japan or China; why should food here be done in Japanese or Chinese styles?

Besides, they had to admit, the sliced and whole sausages, bacon, eggs, mushrooms and potatoes smelled delicious as they sizzled away. Weltha tossed them all around in a massive iron skillet that looked like somebody had tried to make a wok out of plate steel, and then given up halfway through. "Ukyo? Might I ask you a question?" she said, not taking her eyes off of the frying meal.

"Sure? What is it?" Ukyo replied, curious as to what Weltha could be curious about.

"Why did you think I was an elf? Are dwarves so rare on your world?"

Ukyo couldn't help a self-depreciative laugh. "They don't exist! Years ago, I was part of a group that played a game called Dungeons & Dragons; everything I know about elves and dwarves and orcs and goblins and whatever else comes from that, or at least what little I remember of it," she explained.

"Truly? Odd indeed... but that doesn't quite explain your mistake," Weltha noted wryly.

"Well... it's been a while since I read any of those books, but female dwarves weren't exactly prominent in them. Dwarves were kind of summed up as angry beards on legs. Angry, beer-soaked, beards on legs," she amended herself.

Weltha actually laughed at that. "A fairer assessment than you might think. But, truly? Nothing on dwarven women at all?"

"I... think I remember something about dwarf women having beards and otherwise looking exactly like dwarf men unless you got their trousers off?" Ukyo sheepishly confessed.

"Obviously, that part was total rubbish!" she hastily added at a growing frown on her hostess's face.

"Very much so," Weltha grumbled. Whatever else one could say about her, the she-dwarf's gender was very much self-evident. "Thank you... truly, the multiverse is a strange place indeed. I never would have dreamed of such a world, it must be very lonely... in thanks, let me tell you something that my husband has seen fit to keep to himself."

"What that?" Shampoo asked, directing an inquisitive stare at her hostess.

"There are elves and dwarves... and then there are elves and dwarves," Weltha explained darkly.

It was a perfect poignant sentence... undercut when a baffled Shampoo replied, "What that mean?"

Weltha looked at her suspiciously, clearly suspecting mockery. Seeing nothing but honest confusion from her guests, the she-dwarf sighed. "You two are both humans, but come from different lands, correct?"

"That's right. Ranchan, Nabiki and I are Japanese, and Shampoo here is Chinese," Ukyo replied.

"Well, elves and dwarves come in different...branches, too you can say. My husband is a drow elf, and I am a duergar dwarf," Weltha explained.

"Those names... I think I heard them before... some module... ahah!" Ukyo snapped her fingers. "The Queen of the Spiders! Drow and duergar are the elves and dwarves of the deepest underground regions; they are... are... obviously nothing like what the game says," Ukyo quickly corrected herself.

"Why do you say that?" Weltha asked with a raised brow.

"Well... in the game..." Ukyo hesitantly began. "Both races were kind of... evil? The drow were sort of these... demon-worshippers, and the duergar were... skulking, slaving thieves?"

"Whilst the latter is very much inaccurate," Weltha observed in an icy tone, "The former is surprisingly true," she conceded with grudging difficulty.

"But... you not evil. You too-too nice!" Shampoo interjected with a concerned tone.

"My husband and I are... different," Weltha said slowly, her expression troubled as she leaned on the table. "On the planes, you will find the exceptions to the rule with far greater frequency. But... neither of our peoples are shining bastions of light. My husband feared your wrath if he explained this, but I felt it was better to get it out in the open now, lest you mistake our caution for some devious trick."

The two teenage girls looked at each other, then nodded. "Thank you for your honesty," Ukyo said. "We'll explain things to Ranma and Nabiki... you've been nothing but kind to us; we owe you a great debt."

"Thank you, girls... now, breakfast is almost ready, so you had best go and wake those friends of yours up. Nothing worse than starting the day on a cold breakfast, not in Sigil," Weltha declared firmly.

Since their help was clearly no longer required in the kitchen, Ukyo and Shampoo were grateful for the excuse to leave. Once they were outside the kitchen, Shampoo grabbed Ukyo's arm and hissed into her ear, "How you not know what they are?"

"Give me a break, I haven't played D&D since I moved to Nerima! Besides, all I really remember about that module were those perverts drooling over the big-tittied chocolate-skinned elf-woman on the cover," Ukyo snapped back. "The other stuff kind of faded into the background."

"...That make sense," Shampoo conceded. Letting go of Ukyo's arm, she asked, this time in a louder voice, "So, how you think we wake up Ranma?"

"You really think Ranchan will need to be told twice that there's food?" Ukyo smirked.

Despite everything, Shampoo giggled, "That true. Airen have too-too healthy appetite..."

In fact, it had actually proven harder to wake Nabiki than it had to wake Ranma, given the Tendo girl's absolute distaste for the very existence of the early morning. The high-pitched and distinctly girlish scream that a bleary-eyed Ranma had unleashed after seeing Nabiki curled up in bed next to him whilst he was still half-asleep had ultimately worked - and been absolutely hilarious, in the opinions of Shampoo and Ukyo.

The quartet had made their way to the dining room, where the mismatched husband and wife were already sitting down to a table set for a meal. Ranma needed no invitation to start tucking in, and the girls quickly joined him. This "Western style" breakfast was an unusual affair for them, but as odd as it looked, it tasted divine.

"Mmm! My compliments, Mrs. Ryltar; this is really good," Nabiki said, dabbing at the corner of her mouth for crumbs.

"Nothing like a good fry up with plenty of grease and salt to get you through the day," the dwarf beamed proudly, before biting into an open-topped sandwich of eggs, bacon and sausage on toasty bread.

The meal was conducted in an amiable silence; the four guests trying their hardest to be polite in front of their hosts, who in turn seemed content to simply focus on eating rather than trying to mix in conversation. It wasn't until the last morsels had been consumed and the plates stacked up on the end of the table that Baeloth finally spoke.

"I have to go to work soon, my friends, but as I promised last night, I will give you whatever help I can to get you all on your feet. Do you have any questions for me before I leave?" the drow wizard asked, with a quick glance at the household clock.

"Let's start with an obvious one; who runs Sigil? What kind of laws do we need to be careful of while we're here?" Nabiki promptly replied.

Baeloth's expression grew thoughtful, and he rubbed his chin. "That is actually a surprisingly complex question, Ms. Nabiki. Sigil has always been a rowdy community, but things have gotten somewhat worse, recently. For several thousand years, Sigil was ruled over by a consortium of fifteen cabals, the Factions, who divided up the civil and social functions of running Sigil between them. But, approximately two or three centuries ago, they fought a bitter internecine war that devastated Sigil, and were driven from its halls. Since then, Sigil has been even more lawless than usual. I suppose the simplest way to put it is that Sigil operates under the maxim of 'look out for yourself'. Consider us the multiverse's equivalent of a wild frontier town; law and order are personal affairs here, maintained by respect, caution and strength."

"...How does that even work?!" an appalled Nabiki cried at the idea that an entire city could be reduced to functioning like the Nerima ward.

"No, no, I think I get it," Ranma interjected hurriedly to prevent a Nabiki meltdown. "Basically, people don't mess with you if you look tough enough, and expect the same courtesy, am I right?"

"In a geode," Baeloth replied, grinning at Ranma's evident wits. "Of course, people like to dress it up in a nicer outfit than that, but that's what it boils down to. Of course, the different Wards appear more or less lawless depending on their very nature - the open anarchy and thuggery of the Hive is a far remove from the Lady's Ward, where the nobles maintain private armies of guards to soundly dissuade any attempts at theft or violence, for example. Still, looking strong, or clearly aligning yourself with those who are strong, is the best way to protect yourself and your belongings."

"And people just put up with this?" an incredulous Ukyo asked. 'I got enough trouble managing business with the craziness I have to deal with in Ranma's orbit...how could an entire city possibly function like this?'

"Most have known nothing else," Baeloth shrugged, taking their objections in stride. They'd learn the beat of the city or they'd fall back in the pit. "Besides, it is not as terrible as you may be thinking. It is true that violence and theft are frequent, if not facts of life in some parts of the city, but at the same time, Sigil is one of the freest civilizations in the multiverse. You will find that tyranny and oppression of any form rarely maintains much of a stronghold here."

"But there really no leaders here?" Shampoo questioned.

"There are the Sons of Mercy, who attempt to fill the role of a city watch and a court of justice... but they have no greater authority than that which they can earn through strength of arms, and their numbers are relatively few; they're essentially a civic minded gang. There is also the Sigil Advisory Council, which attempts to provide some level of civil organization and harmony to Sigil, but, again, their influence is limited and mostly relies on bribery and strong-arming," Baeloth admitted with a shrug. "No, Sigil has only one leader, and she does not care for the minutia of governing. So long as you respect her one law, you may do as you please."

"Ahah! I knew there had to be somebody in charge!" Nabiki crowed; a leader meant someone with levers, as far as Nabiki was concerned. "Who is she, and what does she want?"

To the surprise of the lost Nerimans, Baeloth shuddered, and even Weltha grew pale, placing a protective hand over her pregnant belly. "That... is something we must be very quiet about. The ruler of Sigil is feared by all; we dare not say her name casually, for fear she may hear us. I will not repeat this, so listen well: Sigil bows only to one, and that is Her Bladed Serenity; the Lady of Pain," he shivered again, fingers twisting through what was obviously a warding gesture.

"She's that bad?" Ranma asked. Baeloth's body language wasn't casual fear, or even superstitious dread; it was a deep, rooted knowing of danger that was bordering on primal.

"Not bad... but not good, either. Indifferent. Her Bladed Serenity keeps Sigil from boiling over, or being conquered by the power blocs of the multiverse, and she does so by being powerful enough to keep all of them at bay. You may go your entire life without seeing her, but you will never forget it if you do; a giant, seemingly human woman, her head wreathed in a mantle of blades that grows from her very flesh, who floats serenely through the air and passes through walls and buildings as if they weren't there..." Baeloth explained, looking haunted as he did so.

"She powerful?" Shampoo asked, feeling more than a little stupid even as she asked the question.

"Her Bladed Serenity has been challenged by many foes over the eons. Gods, archdevils, demon princes, primordials, wizard-kings, fey lords, aberrations... monsters and masters of every kind. And she has destroyed them all, without so much as a scratch," Baeloth replied grimly. "If you anger Her, then She may punish you in one of two ways. If She feels merciful, She will simply imprison you in a Maze - a labyrinthine demiplane with a concealed exit, where you will be left to rot for all time, unless you can escape."

"And if she doesn't feel merciful?" Ukyo prompted.

"Then She will cast Her shadow over you. Flaying, we call it. Skin and meat will peel themselves from your bones, flensed by an armory of unseen knives. And the cuts go down to your very soul... no magic known can restore someone whom She has flayed to death," the drow wizard warned.

"Oh, come on; you sure you're not exaggerating a little?" Ranma asked, more out of a personal issue with the idea that anyone was too powerful to take down, even if only in concept.

Baeloth simply gave him a haunted look. "I would not risk it. I remember the story of Aoskar too well to even dare."

"Aoskar?" Shampoo repeated, a frown growing on her face for how she seemed reduced to parroting everyone's words.

"A god who tried to claim dominion over portals and teleportation thousands of years ago. His worship spread through Sigil like wildfire; one of the dabus even converted to his cause and became a priest! And that was when he broke the One Law of Sigil: Don't Anger Her Bladed Serenity. Witnesses who were there state that one day, as Aoskar was holding court, he suddenly died horribly, eviscerated from the inside out by a million-million blades. At the same time, every lay worshipper and cleric he had across the known multiverse suddenly vanished, either swallowed by a Maze or flayed in the same manner, whilst his great temple in Sigil was spontaneously leveled! And all of this happened in a single night, leaving behind just one Aoskite; the dabus-priest, now known only as Fell," the drow wizard elaborated.

Silence fell over the dining room as the four lost teens digested the implications of what they had been told. Their faces grew pale as they considered the kind of hideous power it would take to achieve the feats they had been told. Instinctively, Nabiki turned to Ranma. "You are not to pick a fight with her, Ranma!" she ordered him.

"Just how stupid do you think I am?!" was Ranma's incredulous cry.

"Too-too scary!" Shampoo whimpered.

"So... what actually makes her mad?" Ukyo asked, pushing through her horror to concentrate on how to survive.

"Unfortunately, that's not easy to explain. Her Bladed Serenity can be... fickle," Baeloth replied, sending shivers down the four teens' spines. "In general, though, she only cares about the well-being and stability of Sigil. Simple murder or theft is beneath her attention; she reacts to widespread disruptions and attacks with far-reaching impact, or the deliberate flouting of the few decrees that she has deigned to make in the past."

"So... if someone were to, say, smash a building?" Nabiki asked nervously, casting concerned glances at her companions. Initially, this confused them, but then understanding dawned and the trio of martial artists frowned angrily at her.

"She would probably ignore that. Buildings come and go. Trying to level the entire city? That would get Her attention," Baeloth explained, giving the group a judicious glance. "Aside from that, She mostly reacts to those who try to interfere with the city's portals. Destroying them, monopolizing them, or otherwise drastically meddling with their usage is a proven way to draw Her wrath."

The drow shook his head. "Really, unless you have plans of trying to conquer or destroy the city, She will simply ignore you, as She does all of us." he added reassuringly

"That's a relief... thanks, Baeloth," Ranma replied with a sigh of relief; he didn't trust his luck that just trying to survive wouldn't get him turned into chutney if property damage pissed off the head honcho.

"Do you have any other questions for me?" the drow asked, getting to his feet.

"Best make them quick ones; you have to be off soon, dear," Weltha interjected as she brought him a russak that smelled faintly of food.

"Then we'll be brief; how easy is it to find work in Sigil?" Nabiki replied; if wealth and strength were what mattered in this society, the others could handle being muscleheads, she'd handle getting them enough money to get off the street and in full bellies.

"Very much so! The vast majority of Sigil's population is transitory, so there's always positions open for those looking for work."

"But I suspect it's usually concentrated in fairly low-reward professions?" The middle Tendo interjected.

"Well... yes, that is true," Baeloth admitted slowly. "Even in Sigil, one can't realistically expect to walk in off of the street and get a high end, high paying job. The closest one would get is as an adventurer... and that tends to be the definition of high risk, high reward employment,"

"Of course it would be," Nabiki grumbled with a roll of her eyes. "Where can we start looking for work?"

"There are two primary alternatives for that," Baeloth rattled off. "Firstly, go to the Lower Ward and simply ask around; there's always a need for laborers in the factories or barmaids in the taverns..."

"Pass," Nabiki flatly declared, suppressing a shiver. 'I don't mind turning on the charm to wheedle money out of some fool's pocket, but I'm not going to be waiting on a bunch of drunken brutes with my tits hanging out and letting them play grab-ass for tips...'

"Or you can go to the Market Ward and check out the job-poles," the drow concluded, as if Nabiki hadn't spoken at all.

"Job poles?" Shampoo asked and if she didn't get to actually contribute a full sentence to the conversation soon she was going to go to this 'Lower ward' and whallop someone.

"A relatively new phenomena, inspired by the great Debtor's Pole. They're literally monuments where people hang up flyers looking for workers or temporary employees of all kinds; if you want to find a place to work, that's the place to look," Baeloth explained. "Now, I'm afraid that I really must go," he said, and rose up from the table.

He stopped to fish around in the pockets of his shirt, and placed a small clinking leather bag and a rolled scroll on the table. "These should help you in your exploration... this is a map of Sigil, with an enchantment to help you better identify where you are and how to get back here - I presume the four of you will need some time before you can move onto your own lodgings," he explained.

"And the bag contains 20 gold pieces, which should be more than enough to help you all acquire food, clothing, or anything else you need today, if you spend it wisely..."

"Mine!"

The drow and the duergar blinked as Nabiki snatched up the bag of coins and made it vanish into some recess of her clothes, the other Nerimans smirking with familiar amusement and a little admiration at her display of speed. Realizing that she was being stared at, Nabiki feigned a cough, the faintest hint of pink dusting her cheeks.

"Sorry - what's the local currency here?" she asked in an effort to take attention off her avarice.

"Sigil sees too many individual currencies to get particularly fancy," Baeloth replied. "We operate on a simple standard here. Our main currencies are copper pieces, silver pieces, and gold pieces. A single silver piece is about a day's wage for the average worker, and is worth 10 copper pieces. A gold piece is worth 10 silver pieces... there's also electrum pieces, which are worth 5 silver pieces, and platinum pieces, which are worth 10 gold pieces, but they're slightly less common. But I'm afraid I really must be off...though I have seen your strength firsthand, and the Market Ward is one of the more law-abiding wards, I suggest you all stick together today as you explore."

And with that, the drow swept out of the dining room, heading for the door, which distantly opened and closed, leaving the four lost Neriman teens behind.

Silence hung over the table, before Ranma shook his head and reached for the map. "Man, we really owe you guys a debt... bit of good luck we ran into folks as nice as you," he told Weltha.

"It's more lucky we ran into people who can speak Japanese," Ukyo quipped, grinning slightly at her lighthearted jest.

"Eh? Japanese? What's that?" Weltha asked, blinking owlishly at her bifauxnen houseguest. Then her gaze sharpened into a probing stare. "Is that your native tongue, young ones?"

"Well, yeah...? What'dya think we're all talking in?" Ranma asked, fidgeting slightly at this sudden turn for the weird...er.

"To me, it sounds like you're all speaking Common. With an accent I can't place," the duergar woman replied.

"...Common?" Nabiki asked, incredulously staring at Weltha.

The dusky dwarfess furrowed her brow, stroking her chin in obvious thought. Then she spoke... and Ranma couldn't make out heads nor tails of the language! He didn't have the formal education to break it down, but it made him think of stone, for some reason - a grumbling, growling sort of language, interspersed with sharp, pronounced noises reminiscent of rock grinding together, and occasionally cracking and splitting. He stared at Weltha dumbfoundedly for a moment, then glanced at his fiancées, who subtly shook their heads; they clearly didn't understand it either.

"Interesting..." Weltha said, and this time they could all make out what she was saying.

"What did you just say? I've never heard a language like that," Ukyo asked.

"I just asked if you could understand me now... but I was speaking in Dwarven, not Common," the duergar explained. "Fascinating... whatever portal you came through seems to have instilled an instinctive understanding of Common in you all, somehow making it intuitive to the point it's replaced your native tongue..."

"Then why Shampoo still sound so stupid?" The Chinese Amazon indignantly protested. Then she stopped, looked thoughtful for a moment, and brightened in sudden cheer, before launching into a stream of what Ranma could tell was clearly Chinese... but no more intelligible to him than it ever was. Evidently, Shampoo caught sight of the guilty look on Ranma's face, as her diatribe sputtered to a halt, and she scowled thunderously.

"Stupid racist magic door..." she complained with a thunderous if adorable pout on her face.

"More evidence, then, that your way here was artificially engineered," Weltha observed.

"You know magic?" Ukyo asked in surprise.

"My husband and I practice somewhat different traditions, but yes, I know my share of the arcane as well," the duergar replied proudly. "Take heart that this will definitely make it easier to track your portal down again in the future - artificial portals to Sigil take some doing to erect, but they remain stable pretty much forever until destroyed on their foreign side."

"That is good news!" Nabiki added, visibly brightening at the thought that they could head back home again.

"Yeah... well, I can read what's on this map, so that magic must let us read Common too," Ranma observed. "Thanks for the food, Mrs. Ryltar, but we should get going and start looking for a job."

"Of course. Now, don't be ashamed if you need to come back and stay again tonight... even in Sigil, you can't expect to just walk in and get a job straight away, especially given the cost of living here," the duergar declared. "But I trust you won't think it rude of me to wish you luck in your search?"

"No, of course not," Ranma chuckled. "C'mon, girls, let's go..."

With that, the quartet of teens rose from the table and made their way towards the front door, throwing it open... and being greeted by a sullen, bitter rainfall.

Ranma slumped against the door. "You have gotta be kidding me!" he complained.

"I'm afraid that Sigil weather tends to be either bad or awful," Weltha announced as she lumbered along behind them. "Our dominant states are fog and rain, although the weather can change wildly and unpredictably. Folks blame it on the portals, the gods... really, anything and everything."

"Well, we can't go out in this," Ranma complained.

"Why not? It's just the Dabus' revenge out there - pretty mild, as this city goes," Weltha explained with a bemused look to the young man.

"Dabus' revenge?" a confused Ukyo asked incredulously.

"Light, constant drizzle and capricious wind - it's one of our more common states of weather," the duergar replied, still confused. "Don't see why it should stop you going out - nobody else will notice."

"Ranma and Shampoo suffer a... unique magical affliction, one that causes them to change forms when exposed to cold water," Nabiki explained. "Which wouldn't normally be a problem, but Ranma... let's say he and Shampoo's alternate form don't get on well," she elaborated.

"Fascinating... I take you'll all be invested in seeking potential cures whilst you're here in Sigil?" Weltha asked, visibly intrigued.

"Wait, that's a thing here?!" Ranma blurted out, practically teleporting right in front of and pinning the duergar in place with an almost mad-eyed hope-fuelled stare.

"Um... yes?" Weltha hesitantly replied, clearly caught off-balance by the intensity of Ranma's response... although he wouldn't be the first person she knew or heard of in Sigil desperate to the point of obsession in getting rid of a curse, magical or imagined.

Ranma stared into nothing, overwhelmed by the realization of what this meant. 'I... I can get cured here? No tricks, no fooling; an honest to gods cure for this stupid damn curse at last?!' His hands curled into fists, fingers tightening in grips that would have broken a lesser man's knucklebones.

Shampoo's reception, in comparison, was far less subdued. She squealed in joy and began hopping up and down in glee, clasping her hands together. "Shampoo no more be cat! Shampoo no more be scaring Ranma!" she cheered at the top of her lungs.

"Congratulations, Ranma-honey!" Ukyo chimed in, beaming with glee at the thought of her fancé finally finding his long-sought cure. Turning back to the duergar, she asked the question she knew Ranma needed to have answered; "Where would we start looking into cures?"

"That depends... mages and priests both deal in curse-breaking," Weltha slowly admitted. Four newcomers, with two of them being cursed? Some powerful being was definitely at work here, and Weltha didn't want to risk the ire of whoever it was. "You'll find more mages-for-hire in the market ward, and temples tend to be concentrated in the Lady's ward. Of course, neither will come cheap... I mean, you might get a mageling who'll drop the price for the sheer novelty of experimenting with an unfamiliar curse... but that might be more trouble than it's worth," she explained.

"Right... well, thank you, Mrs. Ryltar; you've no idea how long I've been searching for something like that," Ranma explained passionately. Then he cast a sour look at the rain beyond his hostess' doorstep. "Still don't know how we're going to get out there and look, though..."

"Well that, my young friend, I can help you with," Weltha replied with a wry grin, before turning and lumbering back into the depths of the house. Minutes later, she returned with an armful of greasy green-gray fabric and a smug grin. "These slipskins should let you go out without any problems," she announced proudly.

Ranma reached uncertainly and grabbed at the topmost fold of fabric, lifting it up and revealing it to be a hooded full-body cloak, clearly meant to be worn over his clothes. "Cloaks?" he asked unthinkingly.

"Enchanted cloaks. There's a glamour embedded in the fabric that will repel water. It won't keep you alive if you try to swim to the bottom of an ocean, but it'll keep all but the most extreme of Sigil's rainstorms from your skin," Weltha explained proudly.

"Where would you get something like this?" An incredulous Nabiki blurted out.

"I make them," Weltha replied simply. "I'm an artificer by profession... crafting low-level enchanted luxury goods is my bread and butter. They're technically not finished, I haven't colored them yet, but I presumed that you wouldn't care about the fashion of them in the face of such dire need."

"You made these? That's awesome!" Ranma replied, already wrapping the cloak around himself with deft ease, the three girls following with slightly less enthusiasm. "I don't know how to thank you..."

"Just try to bring them back in one piece," Weltha replied. "Besides, I do owe you for saving my husband's life - loaning you these to help get you on your feet is the least I can do."

"And we'll always remember it," Ranma assured her. Then he turned to his three fiancées with a vibrant smile that made Ukyo and Shampoo's hearts skip a beat. "Shall we go?" he asked, jauntily flipping up his hood to cover his head.

"Ready when you are, Ranchan," Ukyo assured him, doing the same.

"Shampoo follow you to ends of earth," the Chinese Amazon added as she carefully made sure that the cloak covered her completely.

"Well, it's not like I have a lot of choice," Nabiki quipped, but there was a faint smirk on her face that undercut some of the venom in her words.

"Then let's go!" Ranma announced, before turning and leading his ragtag band of followers out into the streets of Sigil, ready to begin their first real day in the City of Doors.

Chapter End & Closing Notes

This chapter took a lot longer than I intended, and I'm really sorry about that. And it's also shorter than I'd normally like, but maybe smaller, quicker-to-write chapters might be the way going forward?

Fun little trivia fact: in the manga, Ukyo probably doesn't know about Ranma's ailurophobia - if she does know, I don't know when/where she learned it. I'm not even sure if she knows about Shampoo turning into a cat, considering that she didn't even know Shampoo existed until the events of the Hot Springs Battle Royale arc! In the anime, whilst I'm not sure when she learned about Shampoo's curse (or even if she does know), she evidently does know about Ranma's phobia, since she recognizes what Shampoo is doing with a kitten lurking outside of the Furinkan gym in the events of "Ranma, the Lady-Killer!", which takes place a few episodes before the one where this fic began.

So, in our next chapter, we'll finally be able to start seeing the madness and magic that is Sigil; City at the Center of All. I do hope you'll enjoy it... but, there are some things I want to say.

Firstly; Ranma and the girls need some new outfits, but fashion is very much not on my proficiencies list. If any fans want to suggest some cool new fantasy wardrobes for our heroes to pick up whilst they're out shopping, it would be much appreciated!

Secondly...like "Heated Storm", this fic has an outline rather similar to Ranma 1/2 the canon; a broad end goal that we are heading towards, with the journey along the way being made up of a mixture of mini-sagas and episodic weirdness. And since it's a weird, weird multiverse out there, I thought I'd offer fans an opportunity to get involved in it. Basically, if you want to suggest plot seeds for Ranma & co to encounter as they go from nameless scrubs to blooded badasses, or if you want to suggest "NPCs" - characters that could show up in this fic to flesh out crowd scenes or take up bitpart roles or just play a small part in bringing Sigil and the rest of the World Axis to life? You're welcome to do so!

Now, let me be clear; this doesn't mean I'll accept every suggestion! But there's a certain amount of flexibility in this fic, and I like to both interact with my readers and make it clear that there's a living, breathing world around our heroes, that the multiverse doesn't revolve around them! So, I'm interested in these kind of fan-submissions.

Are there any rules on this matter? Just two: no extra series crossovers, and keep it D&D. Sigil is a weird place; it's the sort of setting where, on paper, there is no problem playing a party made up of an N'djatwa (elf/ogre hybrid), a phanaton (a flying ringtailed lemur person), a saurial (anthro dinosaur), a shardmind (a sapient psionic crystal in humanoid shape), a baphitaur (minotaur tiefling) and a woodrake (anarchist faerie dragon shapeshifter), and I'd have no problems with Ranma & co encountering such a party. But I don't want to bring over characters clearly lifted from other universes - no Ranma butting heads with Sailor Moon over recovering the lost jeweled crown of a moon goddess. As for plot seeds? Again, so long as they don't revolve around making this into a multi-series crossover, I can be quite flexible; Ranma taking up a brief stint as a cranium rat exterminator (harder than it sounds; the rats are psionic hive-mind consciousnesses with an arsenal of offensive powers) is as valid a suggestion as Ranma being hired to play bodyguard to a faerie princess debutante. But, obviously, seed receptions are going to vary depending on how deep down the rabbit hole we've gone and thusly how strong Ranma & company are.

And yes, all of those races I named are genuine player character options from different D&D editions and settings.