Prologue

The thing I like the most about prologues, is that nobody reads them. That means I can slip a prologue into someone else's book and the publisher would never notice. Of course, if nobody reads them, it also means that doing that is kinda pointless. Wait, why are you reading this?! I can only think of two possible reasons why you would want to do that:

1) You were so deeply impressed with my autobiography that you decided that even prologues I put in other people's books are worth reading. Although this reason isn't possible, since you couldn't have known that I wrote the prologue' and thinking it was Bastille's, you would have skipped it, utterly disgusted. You know what, why don't you go ahead and do that know? Yes, skip the prologue. Go ahead. Then skip the first chapter. Then skip all the other chapters, close this book, and never touch it again. What, you still here? You want me to explain why I want you to do that? *Sigh*. Oh, well, I will do that. Later. Muahahahaha!

2) Your life is simply so boring and miserable that even reading Bastille's prologues beats it. Poor you. Have a cookie. However, I suggest you switch to a better book. How about that amazing autobiography, written by Alcatraz Smedry himself? Or at least a phone book?

You know, this reminds me of Demostanes. Demostanes was a greek little guy who was known fo stabbing his shoulder with a spear and eating rocks. And no, I wasn't reminded of him because I thought of what Bastille would do to me if she ever sees this prologue. Gulp. I was reminded of him because he tried to prove that if you try hard enough, you can achieve anything, no matter who you are. He was wrong. I tried to be a hero, but I simply couldn't. I wasn't a good enough person. This is why I want you to put this book aside. It tells the story of the man I've never actually been.