Ahsoka Tano was adrift. Walking down corridor after corridor, each looking like the last and clogged with people. The crowd of reporters was swarming her, bombarding her with questions about the trial, the Jedi Order and her opinion on everything from the war to the latest "Blast off" holomovie. Compared to this onslaught, even a Separatist airstrike would have been an improvement. And just like with the dust from near misses, she let it wash over her as there was little she could do other than hope for it to be over. But the main reason why her mind was going a lightyear a minute was her future, which just became a huge uncertainty. When the turbolift doors snapped shut and the chaotic noise was cut off the young Togruta knew that the step she dreaded has come at last. She couldn't go back, which meant that the only path open to her was forwards, into the unknown.

Yet it turned out to be anticlimactic - one moment she was in the heart of the Republic, and in the next she stood outside in the chilly breeze, walking to the air cabs as if on autopilot and ignoring the few questions still thrown her way while the reporters camped in front of the side entrance zeroed in on their next victim.

My best friend killed innocents to promote peace. She didn't blow up an armoury or an artillery emplacement, but people who were just doing their work. The maintenance staff, who were hired after most of the temple's residents went off to fight in the war. The technicians had never taken a life; why did they have to die "for peace"? What had Offee been hoping to achieve? How could a dead family be the price for peace?

"Where to, Miss?" the driver wanted to know and for a moment, Ahsoka was pulled out of her thoughts.

"Just take me somewhere where I can forget," she replied absentmindedly while she entered the banking information her master made her memorise more than a year ago. It was meant to be used for emergencies, and she hadn't even been sure if the account behind it was still active. Or held enough funds for a cab ride from the most expensive location on the entire planet. The payment terminal turned green and the driver took off. Almost immediately, he plunged the speeder into a dive which wouldn't have been out of place during an orbital assault. Which meant that their destination was down near the levels she only ever visited during missions into the underworld.

And to rub salt into the wound, Barriss killed again and then framed me for the whole mess. How could she do this to me? We were friends, we grew up together. Other than Skyguy, she was the one whom I would have trusted most.

And no one else believed me. Not Master Yoda, who spent a decade in the temple with me, nor Obi-Wan, whose life I've saved countless times. We shed blood, sweat and tears together, but when I needed him, he wasn't there. Only Skyguy, and then Padme, once she got roped into this mess. The senator tried her best, but the outcome of my trial had been decided before it even has begun. Tarkin only had circumstantial evidence and yet no one had questioned it.

So much for a fair trial and due process. If not for Skyguy, I would be dead. Which isn't exactly uncommon, but usually it's not the firing squad of the Coruscant Guard about to kill me. And the Council just watched from the Gallery, as if it was a pod race and not my life on the line.

I need to - I need to get away from this mess. But where to? There has never been much in my life other than the Order. Maybe Shili; it would be nice to spend some time there. Or one of the medical stations. I might not be a master healer, but I could do much good there.

But for a start, wherever the cabby is going will do. Skyguy always says that a bar is the best place to think. I just hope we get there soon. And that he wasn't joking.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Ahsoka spun around, ready to tell off whoever had dared to interrupt her very important brooding and use such an atrocious pickup line. However, before she could decide on something rude to say, she froze and stared. The hooded robe might have been suitable to blend in at this location, but she could sense the person underneath, despite the faux accent. And it was not someone she had expected to come down here in a million years.

"Skyguy? But - what?"

"You didn't think that I'd leave you alone after, well, everything."

"I was in good company," Ahsoka replied, still surprised, and gestured towards the empty bottle with which label she had been idly toying. Nonetheless, she relaxed a little as his familiar force presence made her feel less alone, less lost.

"Are you even old enough to drink that yet?" Anakin asked with a frown as he sniffed at the single full glass in front of her.

"The barkeeper said that if I'm old enough to lead men into battle, I can drink anything I want. And I don't think that you should lecture me on following rules."

"I can't argue with that, but I don't think I am old enough to drink this," Anakin muttered with a disdainful grimace after he sipped the brown drink. "That's strong enough to power a hyperdrive."

An odd silence fell over them as they sat in the rundown bar hundreds of levels below the official buildings of Coruscant. There were view screens showing all kinds of sporting events - regular targets of some rather outrageous bets - and four holograms with adult entertainment, but the pair was content to sit still and let the atmosphere wash over them. They weren't war heroes down here, or persons of public interest, but just two patrons nursing sweet, slightly alcoholic drinks. The people around them led normal lives and most had never even seen a battlefield. It was a nice reminder that there was a life outside of the War.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about - "

"Skyguy, I - I can't go back to being a Jedi. How can I trust any of them to have my back if they abandoned me with this?" she asked with a shaking voice, already anticipating the inevitable argument that would follow. It would be loud, ugly, reveal state secrets of the Republic and probably leave both of them angry and embarrassed. Therefore she was quite surprised when her former master gently squeezed her shoulder and, with the finger which could reach them, softly traced the patterns on her lekku.

"I know Snips, and I am not going to the Temple either. What the council did was wrong. They even said that this mess would simply be a lesson, should you prove your innocence. Even Obi-Wan, while not happy about this, did nothing," he replied darkly. "There was a Council meeting in the aftermath of your trial. They didn't spare you much thought though, it was mostly about the damage to the Order's reputation. They didn't even expel Offee - "

"What? But - "

"They were willing to let you face execution, and she gets a slap on the wrist and is confined to her quarters like a youngling who tried to sneak a second dessert? They were talking about forgiveness and learning from mistakes - I stormed out at that point."

"You didn't have to - "

"I HAD to. I couldn't just leave you alone out on the streets."

"I would have managed," Ahsoka replied defiantly, but it was obvious that she wasn't convinced either. And Anakin's fierce conviction made her feel warm all of a sudden.

"I managed to delay Dooku until Master Yoda arrived, but that didn't mean that it was a pleasant experience," he pointed out with his robotic hand raised. "I don't remember submitting your name for the trials. As far as I am concerned, it is my responsibility to teach you everything I know about the force."

"But - I don't even have my lightsabers anymore," Ahsoka protested weakly. Despite having thought about her future for hours, she was not closer to a plan than when she walked out of the Senate.

"Before I was found by Master Jinn, I built a classic-winning pod racer out of scrap. I don't think a few lightsabers would be difficult compared to that. And - well - I might have stashed away some components in case I lost my saber - again," Anakin chuckled and for the first time that day, Ahsoka felt like smiling. "Also, I might have picked your sabers on the way out."

"You - You did?"

"I don't think anyone else would miss them."

"Thank you. Getting replacements would have been - difficult," Ahsoka mumbled and felt some of the weight on her shoulders disappear. She could defend herself with the force, but unless she suddenly obtained a mastery which took decades to earn, the lightsaber would be more useful. "But why are you doing this?"

"Because it is the right thing to do. I might have had reservations when I first met you, but you are the best Padawan I could have wished for. And I'm not going to give you up just because they don't trust you."

"Thank you," Ahsoka said and leaned against his chest. Skyguy's words made her feel better in twenty seconds than any amount of mediation ever had. "You were the best master I could have wished for."

"I had doubts about the Order before, but after how they treated you - " Anakin trailed off as he gently stroked her back. "It was only a question of time before they would have thrown me out as well, so I left before they got the chance."

"Really?" Ahsoka perked up. She knew that her master liked to bend the rules, but she couldn't think of anything which would warrant expulsion. Then again, she had just experienced that the threshold for being thrown out was quite low.

"I never was a good Jedi. I could complete the missions I were given, but the code was a loose guideline to me, not an ironclad set of rules. After my mother died in my arms, I snapped," Anakin said slowly, his face an odd grimace before he took a steadying breath.

"I had promised her that I would return one day, to free her. But the Order prevented that. Then I got visions of her death, but could not do anything. I was supposed to let go of the attachment to her, but I kept seeing her in my dreams, screaming in pain and - "

His voice broke and Ahsoka couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around him. The gesture seemed to steady him, and after taking a sip from his bottle, he continued.

"I was sent to guard Padme on Naboo after an assassination attempt. She noticed that I didn't sleep well, and once I told her about those visions, she flew to Tatooine so that I could find my mother without abandoning my mission of guarding her. It was the first time I had seen her since the Blockade, and we had spent a week together, and yet she was willing to do what the Jedi had refused for a decade."

"But - but it was too late. Mum had been taken by sand people, tortured and left to die still tied to a rack. I slaughtered the entire camp. I don't feel bad about the men, their atrocities are known all across Tatooine. The women helped them rape, kill and torture. Accessory to murder and other crimes is what Padme called it when we spoke about it a later. Even some of the children had spilt blood. But two or three of them were younglings, barely old enough to talk. And yet, it felt good to butcher them like animals. I couldn't save my mother, but at least I avenged her."

"Master?" Ahsoka breathed, her eyes still wide. She had gotten little snippets of that story before, but never even close to the whole picture. And the hurt in his voice was heartbreaking, even if his actions went against everything they were supposed to stand for.

Although a cynical voice in the back of her head whispered that a few innocents for a score of targets would have been considered acceptable if he had just ordered an artillery barrage.

Is this what the war does to us? What Barriss was against? Not all civilians could escape before the battles started - How many had died due to actions of Jedi? How many have I condemned by calling for a firing mission or a -

"But you know what's the worst part?" Anakin asked in a ragged voice and startled her out of her thoughts.

"N - No?" Ahsoka stuttered and wondered how it could be worse.

"I would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe not the youngest, but I would put the other Tuskens to the sword without a second thought. And not just in that camp. Each of the raiders in that force-forsaken desert. Or take the 501st there to cleanse the scum from that unholy rock. I can't tell you how many invasion plans I had made up over the years. How many nights were filled with dreams about ridding the galaxy of the Tuskens and everyone like them? At first, it was just the Jedi, but the longer I fight in the war, the more details I can add. Gunships, walkers, air support and recon, heavy armour and artillery. I was always in the middle of it, striking down slavers or leading the assault on Jabba's Palace. You can wake me up in the middle of the night and there would be a flawless invasion underway within the hour."

"That's not the Jedi way," Ahsoka said, but her protest was nothing but a token effort. Such an action would be more righteous than some of their missions during the war, and those had been officially sanctioned by the Jedi and the Galactic Senate.

"I never was a good Jedi. Too attached, too emotional, too stubborn when it came to following the rules. But invading Tatooine would be more in line with the Jedi code than the Council would like to admit. We were supposed to be the shield for those in need. The warriors who made a stand for what was right, no matter the odds," Anakin said passionately and Ahsoka found herself nodding along. "The Council said that this wasn't our way, that we were not warriors. So I went on missions with Obi-Wan, missions where we mediated commercial disputes or saved the friend of a politician. But the only one who expressed concern about the suffering of the common people was the Chancellor. The same Chancellor who was about to proclaim your death sentence. How can the Jedi claim to guard the Republic and all of its citizens when they aren't even bothered by the misery on their home planet, the capital world of the Republic? When even a politician is more compassionate?"

"You have really thought about this," Ahsoka realised and Anakin nodded.

"When Master Jinn asked me if I wanted to become a Jedi, I said yes because I thought I could help those who were in the same situation as I had been. My ambition was to become a Knight because I wanted to return and purge the Galaxy of slavery. Instead, I had to deal with slavers, even help them. Remember our first mission to save Jabba's son? Back in his palace, when I thought that he had taken you and I had my lightsaber at his throat - I was tempted to just end that foul slug then and there. So tempted - " Anakin quietened, a distant, haunted look in his eyes.

"Skyguy, are you alright?" Ahsoka asked when her master - former master - trailed off. He had sometimes expressed his doubts, but this was a side she had never seen before. And in the past few minutes, he probably admitted more about his past than during their two years together. Assuming that he was telling the truth - and she had no reason to believe otherwise - Anakin Skywalker was simultaneously the best and worst Jedi in living memory.

He's been carrying this alone for years, and I haven't noticed. What kind of Padawan have I been that I didn't - The Council had been blind, but that's nothing new. I should have been better. He needs someone to lean on. And if he really wants to leave the Order for me, that's the least I can do for him.

"No Snips, not for a long time. At first, I thought that the council simply didn't know about Tatooine. That as soon as Master Jinn made his report, a horde of Jedi would descend upon the planet, putting an end to the slavery and the Hutt rule. They lectured me about attachment instead, because it's much more important that I don't ask about my mother than to do something about the billions of sapient owned by others like farm animals."

"We can't afford another front - " Ahsoka tried to point out but Anakin cut her off.

"I know, I know, we need their hyperspace lanes, so we cannot afford to alienate them. But the Hutts didn't just appear out of thin air. The Jedi, the Republic, no one was bothered by criminals taking over entire star systems - " he trailed off and shook his head. "We are supposed to be the guardians of the Republic, of galactic law. To protect the weak and innocent."

"We cannot save everyone," Ahsoka said and grimaced at how hollow she sounded. The point she was trying to make didn't seem in-line with the Jedi teachings, yet it had become the creed of the past few years.

"I know, I know. But we didn't even try. There is no emotion, there is peace. But where was the peace for those we left to suffer?"

"I don't - "

Anakin cut her off when suddenly laughed out loud. "I just remembered, Obi-Wan told me that they thought I was ready for a Padawan but wouldn't be able to let you go when the time came. And they were right. I sat in the Council Chambers, but I was the only one thinking about where you had disappeared to. They didn't care about you - so self-righteous, not taking responsibility for what happened to you and even daring to claim that it was just a trial on your path to knighthood."

That felt like a punch in the gut and Ahsoka had no idea how to respond. Admitting mistakes was one of the first things taught to Younglings so that they could learn from them, but those guidelines apparently didn't apply to the masters.

"Come on, I'll take you home," Anakin said as he settled the tab, then stood up and looked for the exit. Not wanting to be left behind, she jumped up from her bar stool and tried to follow but nearly lost her balance. Her master wrapped an arm around Ahsoka to steady her wobble. He knew from personal experience that the first few experiences with alcohol usually did not end well and hoped to spare her from the worst.

"I can't go back to the Temple."

"I'm not talking about the Temple. Remember when I said that they would have expelled me if they ever found out - "

"What have you done this time?"

"Nothing Snips. Well, nothing I regret. Come on, I'll show you."

"Will we get shot at?" Ahsoka asked after a moment. She was struggling to find her balance, but her words were still clear as they left the bar and stepped into a dirty street she had paid no attention to when she had arrived. And ending up in a firefight was always a possibility where they went. It happened worryingly often.

"I hope not."

"You can't even be sure?"

"It has happened there before. Well, not me - You will see once we get there," Anakin laughed as he used the force to seat her in a speeder she didn't recognise. It certainly wasn't a stock model though, with bulges and hatches where smooth surfaces were supposed to be.

"Are we out of the war?" Ahsoka asked once they were in the air. "I don't want to leave the boys. Not another Umbara - "

"Why would we?"

"We are no longer Jedi."

"So? There are people serving in the GAR who aren't Jedi or clones. I bet we can just walk up to the recruitment office here and get our old ranks back within a day," Anakin said cheerfully as he dove through traffic. Ahsoka caught flashes of sights she recognised, but she had never taken the route they were flying. Then again, it's not as if they were abiding the traffic code and following the designated air lanes.

"Master, we don't have Separatist fighters behind us."

"There's a blaster cannon behind you for that case and a shield generator. Which reminds me; we never got to practise space combat. That's something we should do before heading back out."

"I know my way around a starfighter."

"You are better than Obi-Wan, but you aren't me. And we never properly got to train manoeuvres without a swarm of droids on our sixes."

"Your modesty knows no limits, Skyguy. But we're still not in the Grand Army. And I don't think that the Order will lend us our fighters, not after - "

"I will just call my wing then."

"Master, I don't think you understand, but until the data pushers figure out what to do with our applications - "

"I'm not talking about the Deltas or the Etas," Anakin replied, sounding very smug. "For exemplary service and going beyond the call of duty, I got promoted to honorary Wing Commander of the Naboo diplomatic squadron which is based here. I'm sure that they would lend me an N-1 to show you a few tricks, especially if we give them a few pointers in return."

"Honorary Wing - That was Senator Amidala's idea, right?"

"No, Padme had nothing to do with that," he laughed as he squeezed the speeder through a gap between two cargo barges. "Sabé, one of her handmaidens, conspired with the current Queen to get that done. That was their idea of a life-day present. Jedi are supposed to be above material possessions, but there is no regulation about honorary positions as long as they don't interfere with the code."

Anakin angled towards a garage she didn't recognise, entering a code into the flight computer to open the blast doors. "And they don't complain if I took one of their starfighters for a spin, so it saved me a lot of trouble when I wanted to fly for fun. They didn't care if I was not very serene. They even began to upload the recordings of some manoeuvres."

Ahsoka had to laugh at the thought because sneaking off to fly like a lunatic sounded exactly like something he would do. Looking up, the Togruta could see the skyscrapers go on seemingly forever, which meant that they were far below any reputable level. However, despite the rundown exterior, the interior was a pristine white and the ships inside looked as if they had been polished just before their arrival. All of them were obviously Nubian, the yellow paint and chromium accents clear giveaways. A pair of mechanics were buried in the maintenance hatch of an engine nacelle, but other than that, the garage was deserted.

The hangar guard, a woman in a Naboo dress uniform, saluted them and didn't even ask for their names or credentials. Which, together with her bright smile meant that they were familiar with Anakin.

The elevator was just around the corner, and it looked too elaborate for the level they were on. The garage appeared to be in a cheap neighbourhood and yet the elevator had a carpeted floor and handrails from polished wood.

At first, Ahsoka had thought that they were simply going to the squadron's quarters, that his honorary position came with a room there, but the ride went on and on.

"Where are we?"

"You will see," Anakin replied, unable to keep the grin off his face. And no matter how much she pestered him, he would only laugh and pat her head, something which began to annoy Ahsoka after the third time.

After what felt like an eternity, the elevator arrived at the floor Anakin had entered. They went through a doorway but instead of a bedroom, the two former Jedi found themselves on what looked like a maintenance staircase. They went up three flights before he once again pulled a door open and led them through. With the lights dimmed, the hallway looked different than what she was used to, but Ahsoka recognised the places just as the door slid open.

AN:

Beta'ed by LifeEquals42.