CHAPTER NINE:

Plan Girl Two, Electric Boogaloo

What's that? Consistency in posting?

Don't expect that shit to last.

Thanks as always to my boy Cr00cy and Paulternative for readability.

My lady and dogs are finally at the new house, so life is good despite not being able to roll and spar like I want to. Hope everyone is staying safe.

You ever start to get in over your head, and for whatever reason you just can't stop yourself from digging, even though you know you should probably throw away the shovel?

Yeah, at this point I feel like my life story has been kinda like that, except instead of throwing away the shovel, I went and found an excavator to help keep digging.

Speaking of which, one of those would be pretty handy right now.

To say that I really didn't have a plan when I called Jaune would be something of an understatement. An understatement in the same way that saying that Grimm could occasionally be off-putting was an understatement. This was first pointed out to me when Jaune uttered the immortal words:

"We should call the police."

"No!" had left my mouth before I even knew why. Old habits die hard, I guess. It was only a second later that the reason hit me. "Jaune, they'll trace that shit back to Junior, to me."

I listened to him repeat a few of the more inventive curses that I'd taught him over the years and patiently waited for him to finish ranting.

"Besides, this is the Fang that we're talking about, they'll tear Vale PD up if they try to go up against them," I offered.

"Yeah, but what about the teachers here at Beacon?" he argued.

"Sure, as long as you want them asking how you know about a mob deal going down, go ahead."

He proceeded to utter the other half of curses that I'd taught him.

"Maybe-" he swallowed, "maybe I can ask my-" he shook his head. "No, I can't put them in that position."

I was simultaneously grateful, because I'm a selfish bitch and that scenario probably ended with me in cuffs one way or the other, and disappointed, because who didn't want the Invincible Girl backing them up?

Gods but that hurt to admit.

"What about Ruby?" I tried, knowing the girl wasn't above a little bit of vigilante work.

He shook his head. "No, they're all wrapped up in something with Blake and Weiss, haven't seen them in a minute."

"Huh, imagine that. Little miss-"

"Em!" He cut me off with a glare.

"Sorry, force of habit." I said, slumping down against the wall I was resting against.

"Ok, so then what do we do?" he asked.

Wasn't that the million lien question? Truth be told, I didn't have a good answer...unfortunately, I did have a crazy one. One that had been tapping at the back of my brain since we'd started talking. I licked my lips and stared down into the scroll.

"I...I think that we should steal it."

To call the look that Jaune was giving me as unamused would have also been a massive understatement.

"You want to what?"

"If we steal it, then they won't be able to use it for whatever they're planning." I argued.

"And what are they planning, Em? Better yet, what is it?" Jaune shot back in a tone that I wasn't in love with.

"It's like...a tank thing!"

He ran a hand down his face. "Em, what does that even mean!? What does it look like? Where are we going to find it?"

"Dock number seven!" I defended, finally glad to have something to latch onto.

"Em, do you have any idea where on the dock or when it's going to be there?" he asked, unimpressed.

"Listen, you leave that part to me," I defended, "I'll get the info out of one of Junior's boys."

"Gods, we're screwed," he moaned.

I tell you, some people just aren't willing to work with you.

"Jaune, this is important!"

"Don't you think I know that!?" he snapped, before sinking back onto his dorm bed. "Em, I don't know if I can do this."

Begging isn't something I normally like to resort to, got enough of that on the streets of Mistral. But right now, I needed Jaune. Needed him to be there in ways I couldn't even begin to explain.

"Please, Jaune, I need you." I pleaded. "They're going to hurt people. A lot of people," I finished in a whisper. I waited for what felt like an eternity as he sat with his head buried in his hands.

"Ok," he said finally, "what do you need me to do?"

Didn't that make me feel like shit?

"I'm sorry, Jaune, I just-" I started, my voice catching.

"It's ok, Em, I know," he comforted, which made me feel even worse. "This is fucked. You know that, right?"

"I know. I just-" I bit my lip and shook my head. "Can you be ready to head down here tomorrow night? I'll figure out the when and where, but I need someone to have my back."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll figure something out." He looked at something off screen for a moment, then glanced back at me. "Listen, Em, I gotta go."

"Yeah, ok. I'll call you," I said weakly.

"I'll be there," he promised, sitting up and reaching for the 'off' button

"Jaune!" I half-yelped.

"Yeah?"

"Love you," I whispered.

He smiled softly. "Love you too."

The feed cut off and I was left alone in the darkness of the bar. I'd like to tell you that I didn't have a good, long, cry before heading back upstairs to figure out how the fuck I was going to prevent a massacre without getting my best friend killed, but…

I promised I wouldn't lie to you.

My eyes popped open of their own accord far too early the next morning. I knew it was too early, because there was no light coming in from the small window in my tiny ass room on the top floor of Junior's bar. That might not sound like a big deal for some people out there, but with the hours I was working down in the casino I hadn't seen a sunrise in a while.

My other, even more obvious, clue was that I hadn't been woken up by the sounds of Mil and Mel fighting over who was going to get to use their shared bathroom first. Like they did every. Single. Morning.

I turned onto my side and flicked my scroll on, sighing when I saw the soul-crushing numbers 05:00 staring back at me. I rolled around for a bit, trying to fall back asleep, before I gave it up and sat up. I wasn't going to get back to sleep for the same reason I hadn't been able to get any real sleep in the first place.

I didn't have a plan.

I had no idea how I was going to find out where exactly on dock seven this trade was going to go down, who all besides Roman and Junior's boys were going to be there, or when it was even going to take place. I groaned into my hands and thought about texting Jaune again for a minute before deciding that I should at least try to do something productive first. I pushed myself up off the bed and walked to the bathroom, performing my normal morning ritual before pulling on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. Not the most professional attire for someone trying to stop a terrorist attack I'll grant you, but it was way too early and the bar wouldn't be open for hours. Besides, it's better than Jaune's weird onesies.

I stumbled downstairs, still feeling groggy and depressed, but hunger drove me towards the bar. Junior keeps these chocolate croissant things behind the counter for employees that are a little slice of microwavable heaven. All you gotta do is put them in for about-

I froze when I heard someone shuffling around the bar, my hand dropping to my hip for my non-existent weapon. I don't know if someone has come up with an expression yet about wearing pajamas to a gunfight, but I'd highly recommend avoiding it if you can. I slowly made my way down the rest of the stairs, careful to avoid the one that I'd learned from experience squeaked a little too loudly. When I reached the bottom, I peaked my head around the corner, trying to figure out who was robbing us before I raised the alarm.

Good thing I did too, because it was fucking Chris. Good ole, always in Junior's shadow, drink mixing, not an asshole and kinda cute Chris. Dude was just sitting there behind the counter, silently counting bottles and shuffling through receipts with a calculator. I let out a sigh of relief and started to step out from behind the corner before a little voice in the back of my head told me to stop for a second. I glanced back around the corner and really took in what Chris was doing.

He was balancing the books. He was balancing Junior's books. That meant that Big Cat had to trust him enough to think he was ok with money...and maybe other things too.

A plan started to swirl around in my head. A crazy, risky plan, but the only plan I actually had. I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could on every stupid detail of the big lug's face. His judging eyes, his ugly fucking beard, the way the side of his mouth would curl up involuntarily when he was proud of you but didn't want to say anything. I let out a slow breath and stepped out, staring Chris down. By the time he heard me walking towards him, all he could see was-

"Oh, morning, boss. You're up early."

I grunted a Junior grunt. "Can't sleep."

Chris nodded sympathetically, "You too, huh?"

I sighed as I took a seat at the bar, careful to fabricate the sound of the stool straining under Junior's weight for Chris. "Yeah, it's always like this."

"Really?" Chris asked, eyes wide with a hope that hurt my heart. I pushed that feeling deep, deep down and pressed on.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that it's something that you ever get over," I mused, before nodding towards him. "What about you?"

He coughed and looked away. "I'm doing fine, boss."

I raised a big, bushy eyebrow. "Chris."

He sighed and slumped against the counter, knocking the various receipts he was looking over aside. "Can I be real with you, boss?"

I could tell that he wanted nothing more in the world, so I said, "I ever ask you to be anything but?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, but this is different. I-" he bit his lip and winced. "I'm having doubts, boss."

"We all have them," I said in a booming voice, "tell me about it."

"I just-" he swallowed, "I get it, you know? I get the position we're in, but these people…" he trailed off, looking toward the door of the bar.

"They're the worst," I offered.

"Hell yeah they are!" he exclaimed, snapping back to me. "Boss, we're not just stealing this time. These people-" he licked his lips before continuing. "They're going to hurt people. They're going to hurt people that aren't in this. It's just...I don't know"

This is where I decided to go fully off the rails and just decided to give my best guess at who Junior was as a person. I nodded and said, "You want to know the truth?"

"Yeah!" he begged.

"I feel the same way every time we do something like this." He slumped for a moment and I pressed on. "You know what that means?"

"What's that, boss?"

I grunted. "Means you're normal, not some sociopath like that Neo bitch." That earned me a chuckle, which made my heart soar for some reason. I placed an oversized paw on his shoulder and squeezed. "Listen, times like these...you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Accusing a man of wrong in times like these, it'd be like asking a starving man why he stole."

Chris watched me for a moment, then gave a small nod. "Yeah, that makes sense, boss," he whispered, lowering his head.

"You want to take your mind off it?" I asked, desperate to lift some of the burden off him in the same way I wish someone had been able to for me...while still selfishly digging for information. "Just tell me what you're supposed to do, step by step. Walk through it. Make it a process, not a feeling."

I gotta admit, as far as bullshit advice goes, that's probably my greatest work. Chris seemed to think so too, because he nodded to himself like that made sense and leaned on the bar with a sigh.

"Well, luckily I don't have to do too much. I'm supposed to get some of the hard boys together tonight-" he glanced up at me, "I've got those names picked out by the way."

"I figured you would," I lied. "You do good work."

He smiled weakly at the compliment and continued. "We're going to meet up and drive over at ten, getting there no later than half past. I let the boys out and they make sure that the docks are clear and we're good to start. Roman's supposed to get there at eleven with…" he scowled for a moment, clearly thinking. "The codes or whatever starts that shit up."

I fought every fiber of my being to keep from asking what 'that shit' was and nodded. "Good, what next?"

He pushed back from the bar and snorted. "The shit show begins. They're supposed to show up around midnight and Roman is going to give some big speech." He rolled his eyes at that, which earned him points as far as I was concerned. "Then they take the damn thing and we peace out before the body count starts." He frowned at the last bit. "Sorry, boss, I-"

"Don't worry about it. I get it," I assured him.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, boss. I think that helped. I just-" he shook his head again. "Fuck, you get it. Could you…could you not let the rest of the boys know that we had this talk?" he pleaded. "You know how rep gets in here."

I put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, which I swear to this day that I'm not sure how it made me feel, and nodded. "What conversation?"

He grinned and I watched the tension drain out of his body. "Thanks, boss. You're the best."

"Chris, I'm just trying to do the best I can," I said, uttering my first true statement for the day before I slapped the bar and pushed off. "Well, you got things here? I'm gonna walk around."

"Sure thing, boss," he agreed, shooting me a thumbs up before his head ducked down again, re-organizing the receipts he'd knocked aside. I started back towards stairs, fully intent on waking Jaune up from whatever the fuck he was doing and filling him in on the details. I made it about halfway up when I ran into a bleary-eyed Junior, who took about five years off my life at least.

"Em?" he started, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "The hell you doing up so early?"

"I, uh." I coughed. "I'm just having trouble sleeping, you know?"

He looked at me for a moment before nodding. "Well, I prefer that to you feeling sleepy, given the concussion and all."

I tilted my head. "You think I have a concussion?"

He snorted. "Oh, you definitely have a concussion. You should have seen the way she-" he shook his head and laid a hand on my shoulder, which I fought to keep from flinching under. "Listen, just take the day, huh? We'll make out in the casino one way or the other and one night without you isn't going to kill us."

"You sure?" I asked, because I know how to look a gift horse in the mouth. Thankfully, he chuckled and hummed.

"You think this is the first time I've lost one of my girls for a day because she made poor choices?"

I'll let you let that 'one of my girls' bit sink in for a minute like I had to before I gave him my shittiest smile and said. "Thanks, Big Cat, you're the best."

He chuckled. "Now I know you're not feeling like yourself. Rest up, Em. I don't want to see you 'til tomorrow, ok?"

"Kay." I agreed weakly, before slipping past him and racing up the rest of the stairs. I made a beeline for my room and slammed the door behind me. When I pulled out my scroll, I stared at it long and hard before flicking it to life and dialing the familiar number

"Hey, you awake?"

There's a lot to consider when you're planning a heist. You wanna know things like - how many people are going to be there, are there cameras, what are your escape routes if something goes south. You know…

All things I didn't fucking know.

There's not a ton that gives me anxiety, besides Jaune telling me 'he's got this,' but that's one of them. Which is why I'd show up to dock number eight, hours before sunset, and had been stalking about like a serial killer while trying to get a good look at dock seven, which had enough security running around to make me think that a lot of it had to be private. Quite a lot of it.

Fun fact, if you don't have binoculars to see something super far away, you can use the zoom function on your scroll to...look like a fucking idiot while you still can't see anything. Our agreement on full disclosure requires that I tell you that I found out nothing of use during my hours creeping around the docks. I just got super hungry and bored. To the point where I started to text Jaune to pick me up some food on his way over, it was getting dark after-

"Em, isn't this the wrong dock?"

"Motherfucker!" I shrieked, jumping about a foot and grabbing for my pistol before I rounded and saw Jaune, holding a grease stained paper bag and looking down at me with a confused expression.

"Uh, Em?"

"How'd you know I was here?" I demanded.

He raised an eyebrow. "You texted me an hour ago? Asked if I could pick you up some food on the way over and sent me a pin."

Apparently, staking out a place for too long could mess with your sense of time...or hunger. I decided to salvage what dignity I could and snatched the bag from Jaune's hands. After some brief digging around I came back up with the larger of the two burritos I found within.

Before you start, mine is always bigger - heh- because Jaune never asks for anything extra on his and I ask for everything on mine. I looked back up at him as I passed him the bag.

"Did you ask for-"

"The hot salsa. Yes, Em, I did. It's almost like I've done it for you a few hundred times." He rolled his eyes, which might have pissed me off more if I wasn't already an oversized mouthful into my burrito. He sighed as he plopped down next to me. "But this is the wrong dock, right?"

"Iz da ight 'ock for ow." I explained in hungry person.

"You, uh, want to run that by me again? Maybe in something approaching intelligible?" He asked, unwrapping his burrito.

I swallowed and stuck out my tongue. "I said, we're on the right dock for now. I'm scouting out the dock we're going to."

"How's that going?"

I looked away and took another bite of my dinner.

"That well, huh? Well good, wouldn't want stealing a-" He cocked his head to the side. "What exactly was it again?"

"A tank or something," I mumbled.

"Great. Super. Wouldn't want stealing one of those to be too easy, now would we?" he snarked, which I might have felt a little more argumentative about if not for the fact that he was, you know...helping me steal a tank.

"But we've got burritos," I joked weakly. My heart lifted when I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

"Yeah, we've got burritos," he agreed tiredly. "Do we happen to have a plan to go along with those burritos?"

"Yeah, we do," I half-lied. I pointed over to the dock, a giant structure of concrete and steel sitting above the calm waters of Vale's harbor, stacked to the brim with metal shipping containers. "You see the main entrance there? The one by the road?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that one is a no go. Too much security around running checks on what's coming in and out. I probably wouldn't be able to use my Semblance on them all," I explained. "And, that's assuming that they're normal port security and not some of Junior's boys." I almost said 'our boys,' which for sure would have been the start of a fight.

He nodded. "Makes sense. So, where do you want to try to come in from?"

"There." I gestured towards the middle of the dock, where two massive cargo ships floated, a massive crane slowly unloading them. "There's a lot of security on either end of the dock, watching the cargo come in or out, but once they start unloading them they seem to ignore them for the most part."

See? I was productive.

"Yeah, but how are we going to get over there?" he asked, treading all over my moment with his questions that I didn't have a good answer for.

"I was thinking that we could, uh- you know…" I stalled.

He groaned. "Em, you want to steal one of the patrol boats, don't you?"

Huh?

"I, uh-"

"I mean, I get it," he said, running a hand down his face.

I'm glad one of us did.

"Hell, they're right there," he continued, waving towards a trio of patrol boats tied up down the dock from us, owners nowhere in sight. "We just wait it out for a while and then jump in one once it gets dark. People will be either too far away to see anything but the boat or have to get close enough that you can use your Semblance."

I stared at him for a moment in awe, soaking in the monster I had created before his voice snapped me out of it.

"-m? Em, you listening? Is that your plan?" he asked, giving me an odd look.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, totally the plan!" I laughed nervously. "Really starting to rub off on you, Jauney."

He mouthed 'Jauney' in confusion before deciding that I was just being weird and shaking his head. "Ok, so what do we do once we're in?"

This one I felt a little more comfortable with. "I'm going to need you to be my second set of eyes. I can do my illusion thing, but I'm going to need you to help me spot anyone sneaking up on us while we're sneaking our way to the package," I explained, deciding to start calling the tank 'the package,' since that seemed less prone to upsetting Jaune again.

"I've got your back." He promised, which did a strange mix of warmth and guilt related things to my heart. Then he ruined it by asking another good question. "Which one is the package?"

We stared at each other for a bit and I watched as his look of expectation slowly turned to one of horror.

"Oh, Em, please don't tell me-"

"I've got it narrowed down!" I defended, making him let out a sigh of relief.

"Ok, had me worried. So, is there like two or three that you think it could be?"

I coughed. "Maybe a few more than that." I shrunk into myself as I watched his face harden.

"How narrowed down do we have it, Em?"

I winced. "I figure it's got to be one of the ones with security around it?"

"Goddammit, Em!" he shouted.

"I'm sorry, ok! None of them came labeled 'Big Bad Super Weapon!" I shot back.

"Do you even know where on the dock we're supposed to be looking?" he asked, glaring me down.

I huffed and muttered, "No."

"Cool. Awesome," he growled, throwing his hands in the air. "Now all we gotta do is check every single container on the dock that looks like it might be tank sized before this drug deal goes down. Easy."

"Technically I think it's just an arms deal," I offered helpfully.

"Gee, thanks, Em. Now I feel a whole lot better," he said sarcastically, flopping onto his back and groaning. "Do you have anything else?"

"No," I mumbled, feeling like a real pile of shit and realizing just how terrible of an idea this all was. I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "Look, Jaune, you should go back to Beacon. I shouldn't have called you. I just-" My voice started cracking "you're my best friend, you know? And I- I got scared-"

"Em-" he started, before I cut him off with my rambling.

"They're going to hurt people, Jaune. I-I didn't know what to do, and I know it doesn't make sense, but all I could think about was calling you. Because-" I choked back a sob.

"Em," he whispered, sitting up and wrapping an arm around me. He squeezed me gently, which was more than I felt like I deserved, and I let out one of those weird laugh-cries that people do.

"B-because you're plan girl. You're always plan girl, and I know that's not- "

"Em," he said again, more a command than anything, grabbing my chin and tilting my head up towards him. "We'll figure this out. We always do."

I sniffed and let out a very unpretty laugh. "I think this is a little different than stealing comics and trying to hotwire Navy's car, Jaune."

He gave me a small smile. "Is it wrong that the part that still scares me the most is mom finding out?"

I snorted. "I dunno, Mama Arc is a bad woman."

"Yeah, she is," He agreed with a chuckle, scooting closer to me and letting me lay my head on his shoulder.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked, staring out at the dock across the way.

"I don't know, Em. I guess we just get over there and do the best we can," he replied.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Careful now, you're starting to sound like Pyrrha," He joked.

"Jerk," I shot back, flicking him in the arm.

It had been a while since I'd cuddled up to Jaune like this, and I'd forgotten just how good of a security blanket he could be when he set his mind to it. We sat that way for I don't know how long, watching the giant crane take container after container off the two cargo ships in front of us as the sun set. It was almost mesmerizing, the way it would come down like some giant, mechanical Grimm, latching onto a container and lifting high into the air before turning and placing it into a stack. It seemed random at first, but after a while I started to notice that it was stacking them according to the markings along the side of the containers. This one was from Vacuo, that one was from Mistral, the crests of both nations emblazoned on the-

Holy shit!

I hopped up so fast that I made myself dizzy and I'm pretty sure that I nearly gave Jaune a heart attack.

"What the hell, Em!" He shouted indignantly.

"Jaune!" I half-shouted, reeling around and grabbing the poor, confused boy by his shoulders and shaking him excitedly. "I figured it out!"

"You figured what out?"

"I figured out where the container is, you dummy!"

His eyes widened at that. "Where!? How!?"

I spun around and pointed proudly. "Watch the crane."

He stared out at it for a few moments before giving me a look that said he worried for my mental health. "Em, you sure you're-"

"Don't you see it?" I demanded. He looked back and forth between me and the crane for a minute before starting again slowly.

"Yep...it's a crane alright."

"Thanks, asshole," I growled. "Do you see what it's carrying?"

"Containers?"

"From where?"

"Vacuo."

"How do you figure?" I asked, trying to be more patient than I felt. He cocked his head to the side.

"Uh, cause of the emblem," he answered, pointing towards the container. I nodded excitedly.

"And where's it going?"

He looked back to the dock. "Right next to all the other stuff from Vacuo, on this side of the dock."

"Yep." I almost sang. "And where do you think a tank might come from?"

He hummed. "Not Vacuo, that's for sure. Probably not Mistral either, they don't have a bunch of mecha. It's got to be Atl-" I watched as the pieces fell into place for him and he shot up. "Holy shit! We just have to figure out where all the Atlas cargo is!"

"Yup!"

"Then look for the one that's being guarded the most closely!"

"Yup!" I cried again, laughing. "What do you have to say about those X-ray and Vav detective skills?"

He grinned back. "I say that you might be plan girl afterall."

Memory Lane

I don't know how or why Jaune became so weirdly good at inadvertently coming up with criminal schemes, but it wasn't my doing.

I couldn't scheme my way out of a paper bag.

But Jaune? That boy just seems to come up with that shit off hand. Don't believe me? Well, let me tell you a little story about how he helped me get tickets to the Weiss Schnee concert that I'd been dying to see.

A couple of things to understand. First, that hurts on multiple levels to admit. Second, Weiss Schnee does not come cheap. We were talking about a nice down payment on a car kinda money, which I of course didn't have. So, I did what came most naturally to me in my quest for cash.

I started stealing shit. I stole shit from our classmates, I stole shit from our teachers, I stole shit from our neighbors. Before long, I had a nice little stockpile of watches, scrolls, and jewelry. Sounds like I was well on my way, right?

Wrong.

Turns out pawn shops have this cool little thing they do where they check with the police to see if someone has reported what you're trying to hawk as stolen. I found this little gem of info out by almost getting arrested doing just that. If I hadn't used my Semblance to make the guy behind the counter see a different ring than the one he was calling the station about at the last minute, then promptly left, I probably would've added a few pages to my record.

All of which left me in something of a bind. A bind that I was currently distracting myself from by listening to Jaune tell me about the gossip at school while laying down on my bed and playing X-ray and Vav on someone else's scroll. Hey, mine never would have been able to run that shit.

"I think Crystal is dating Indigo," Jaune said, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed.

"Ugh, that douche? Wait, I thought she was dating Red?"

"She is."

I snorted. "Damn, your sister simultaneously has the most game and worst taste I've ever seen."

He chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much." We sat in silence for a minute, and I was pretty close to clearing the level I was on when Jaune dropped his bomb. "So...I hear someone's been stealing stuff at-"

"Wasn't me," I said, way too fast.

"I didn't even say where, Em."

"Still wasn't me," I defended. We were kinda at an impasse here, because if Jaune kept pressuring me, I'd crack. I always did and he knew it. Instead, he decided to surprise me.

"Ok."

"What?" I asked, nearly dropping the scroll.

He shrugged. "I believe you. You said it wasn't you and I trust you."

I scowled as I sat up and looked down at Jaune. This seemed awfully like some of that reverse psychology bullshit I'd learned the Arc family loved.

"And that's it?" I asked.

"Yeah, what else is there?" he shot back. "Unless…"

Here it was.

"Unless what?"

He hummed. "You could probably help those people, Em."

"But I didn't take their things," I clarified.

"No, but you are good at taking things," he said.

"So?"

"So, I bet you'd know how to track them down better than most people would. You know, what with your experience and all." He shrugged. "I bet most people would pay you too. I've already seen a couple of reward flyers posted around the school."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "No shit?

"No shit."

A few days later 'Emerald, Private Investigator' was open for business, helping people find their lost goods and even providing tips on how to keep a hold of their shit in the future...just because I'm nice like that.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how Jaune taught me how to fleece stolen merch...right back to the people I'd stolen it from. To this day he says that he believes me when I say I didn't steal that stuff in the first place, which is almost certainly a lie, but…

It's also the reason I love him enough to make sure that I had enough money to take us both to that fucking concert.

Alliances

The Arctic Monkeys turned out not to be so different from ourselves, their torn and tattered uniforms in a similar state of disarray, their weapons caked with the same sticky mud that clung to everything. Their faces wore the same weary expressions as our own. They waited patiently for us in the shadow of a broken and shoddy fort, a man in a cloak and a cap - who I took to be their commander - stepped forward as we approached. To my shock and horror, I saw that he had the same face as our own officer.

"Captain Fan," the man greeted.

"Captain Atic," his twin replied with a nod.

The two men walked forward in mirrored step and clasp hands with manic grins.

"It is a good day to war."

"It is always a good day to war."

Then, with that and no other preamble, they turned to us as one and yelled.

"Forward! Forward to the line! Drive the bastards from the field!"

It was as if we were caught up in a spell, our feet carrying us forward in a great tide, all rushing to be the first to reach the front. We whooped and hollered, though I can remember no joy being in my heart. We flew by the broken fort, past the reserve lines and trenches, straight to the cratered and scarred battlefield.

The White Knights awaited us there.

I could tell you a dozen things about them that I noticed, like their gleaming arms, their clean uniforms and flowing banners, or the mass of cannon they carried with them. But what struck me first?

Their army dwarfed ours.