Nile had seen many things, and admittedly he had done many things as well. Horrible horrible things, the type that self explained why he had 'kill on sight' orders in fourteen countries.

Nile liked to pretend, or believe that somewhere in the corrupt monstrosity of a human soul, he still had redeeming qualities. Not enough to make babies stop crying, but enough perhaps to grant him minor peace when he felt he needed it.

Yassen Gregorovich was and is, an enigma. An absolute powerhouse with a presence more overwhelming than a hurricane. A monster, a lithe chaotic entity carved from marble and quenched in puppy tears. Or something else dramatically horrible. He had more layers than a one-hundred-and-four layer Damascus blade, and Nile knew blades.

Under all of that, and it had taken years to learn- Yassen Gregorovich was the most socially awkward individual Nile had ever met.

The assassin industry didn't lend much in the way of social interaction. They were forbidden from having pets, even goldfish, so Nile circumvented that problem by obtaining plants. Yassen it seemed, didn't comprehend the memo and accidentally crossed 'humans' on his list next to 'parrots' and 'centipedes' for Do-Not-Interact.

The man wasn't tall, but he towered over everyone. He stared far longer than necessary, not making eye contact but instead staring through people. Yassen's body was always relaxed, refusing to tense or clench even under gunfire. He was a dancer, practically twirling over corpses and raining bullets and hellfire.

Except, an unsure Yassen equated a terrifying Yassen. He would stare with the same long unblinking expression at a complex math problem, then turn and stare the exact same at a baby goat. He would pause, start moving towards something only to gracefully come to a halt, and pivot away as if his resolve had completely changed or you weren't worth his time.

It was incredibly infuriating, because Yassen Gregorovich ghosted around on a flying carpet of superiority. Dismissive, uncaring, it was near impossible to evoke any sort of reaction from him. He had a sixth sense for awkward social situations, tending to somehow vanish far before the situation came to light. Nile had his fair numbers of having to settle drunken clients, or far too determined prostitutes. Yassen,frustratingly, had none.

It wasn't fair, because even when Nile thought about doing something drastic and started planning his approach, Yassen would find him with those seeing eyes and then calmly leave. Remove his presence entirely. The only way to trick Yassen was to completely embrace the fact that Nile never would act out, even though he wanted to with every fiber of his being. Nile became the exact definition of 'easy going', not once approaching or letting himself sling an arm over the Russian's back, or wiggle into his personal space.

Yassen was a cat, a feral barn cat that hated humans but god dammit Nile was determined to gain his love.

Slowly, over the course of years, Yassen began to open up. Baby steps, like Yassen willingly seating himself in the chair across the small hotel room they were stuck in, baby steps.

Yassen-Language is hard to learn, because it's the broken cues and abandoned movements that suggested that he was about to do something, but abandoned it entirely. The greatest catch; the original signs of movement were completely willing- no hesitation in the turn of his body, no pause before he physically inserted himself in a conversation…..and then he said nothing and walked away. If Nile hadn't known better, he would have thought that Yassen was a troll.

He had considered investigating further, maybe looking for various cognitive disorders or sensory integration issues that Yassen never mentioned. The man hardly smiled, never laughed, tended to live in a chronic dissociative state but remained a live wire for reactions and reflexes. You couldn't ever surprise Yassen Gregorovich, but you were always surprised by him.

He was fiercely intelligent, so much that any game of chess would always result in a failure. In one mission report, Cossack managed to destroy an entire illegal gambling operation in a long game of poker. The man was terrifying, svelte and graceful like a large cat.

Similar to a large cat, specifically a cheetah, Yassen Gregorovich was the single most anxious individual Nile had met (and hadn't killed). The man was loose and relaxed only through forced training. If Yassen hadn't been trained to be an assassin, he could have been great at creating synthetic diamonds because he was such a goddamn tight-ass.

Nile spent years building Yassen's comfort with him, swearing abstinence of bodily affection. Internally he cried, but externally he also cried when Yassen very stiffly managed an entire conversation with him without weirdly walking away. Nile was attached to the man, and he was ridiculously proud with Yassen's jerky movements that only appeared when he followed through on the body language.

All of this, of course, seemingly flew out the window as Yassen's anxiety let misguided repressed paternal instincts take the wheel around Alex Rider.

Alex Rider was funny, cute and small in the way teenagers are with their weirdly long limbs and no coordination. Nile met the kid back a dozen missions, and witnessed first hand a legendary Rider Situation and from there, he was sold. Not because the kid fit right in with the dark humour, occupational hazard, and affinity for messing shit up, but because in his body and his face he had the Yassen-tic.

It wasn't so much the verbal cues that Yassen had, it wasn't the staring or the blank face. The way Rider ran made every cowbell in Nile's brain rattle out in warning. Rider ran from threats jerkily and scattered like his limbs refused to operate with his brain. He'd bolt one way, stumble to the side and narrowly avoid a fast moving pillar- keep running before backpedaling for no reason, then leap and take off like a deer who broke into a marijuana plantation. It was funny to watch, but also captivating because it should not work under any circumstances and yet, it did. He was the world's luckiest raccoon, stealing trash with his little weird finger-paws and escaping through laundry chutes.

Alex Rider laughed and joked like a mirror, but then he would stiffen and freeze and start those little aborted movements towards someone else. A gunman (who Nile thought had a stupid looking face) would shift uncomfortably from Alex Rider's intent focus, and Rider would make that little hop step forward before pulling back. A spooked little colt who had more Yassen-isms than Nile had ever seen.

It wouldn't be the first time Nile wondered about Rider and Yassen. The legacy and interaction was practically a dark secret, whispered quietly because Yassen tended to be sensitive about discussing it... and by sensitive Nile meant your face after Yassen broke your jaw.

Hunter had been...well, if he hadn't been a traitor (and ouch,) he likely would have had a big bronze statue made at Malagosto. Nile had been put through the ringer in his own training, he had heard about the man and grew his own healthy amount of hero worship when Hunter showed up one day to promptly school his class on proper firearm marksmanship. Nile had performed terribly and Hunter had shot his leg with a blank and the bruise took months to heal. Yassen had been the lucky graduate to be practically raised by Hunter, and Nile always wondered why. The Russian was young, the youngest to graduate or maybe that was Nile and honestly he didn't care enough to remember. Hunter had always been fond of Yassen. It took a lot of love to shoot through someone's throat and purposefully not kill them, and hit the target.

Nile's employer had also been obsessed with Hunter, a bit too much of the hero worship. Nile knew his way around the SCORPIA gossip rings, the poison toxicologists were the real loose lips, mostly because they tended to stay stuck in a chemistry lab and were so touch starved they likely would cuddle one of the vipers, but still. Nile liked them, and if you brought in the biohazard clean up crew it was just like a little girl's sleepover. They even painted each other nails with venom laced polish and Nile let them do his makeup once.

The idea that Yassen had become...something more to Hunter was always an unspoken concern. The fact now, that Alex Rider, Hunter'sson was displaying the same physical and verbal tics as Yassen, who he had never met... well, it left a lot of questions. Especially of the illegitimate son kind. Nile knew that it wasn't, mostly because blood types and how Hunter tanned in the sun and Yassen instead needed to grouchily put on cream cheese level sunscreen, but it was a nice conspiracy theory that Nile was now rethinking. Mostly because Yassen had randomly kidnapped a child.

"So," Nile said casually, since Yassen had done another tick and said the half end of a sentence while clearly forgetting he hadn't verballysaid the start of the sentence- "any reason why we're cradle robbing?"

A pause, then Rider gave a small hysterical snort. "Cradle? Because- because we're in the Cradle of Civilization? Mesopotamia?"

"See, I knew I liked you for a reason, Rider." Nile confirmed, "you understand my jokes. You understand my genius and I've been sorely lacking."

Yassen turned on the helicopter, readying for takeoff. Nile had no idea where they were going, but they had guns and plenty of fuel so likely it would be a nice joyride. They were off for a month anyways, supposed to be going through new weapon training on new illegal firearm models and machinery with the Taliban. That, and Nile was still sporting one hell of a concussion that was healing decently but still left him veering to the right side of his targets.

"Right," Rider said, swaying dazed and tired. A very eventful day for the fetal spy. "Where are we going?"

"North. Makhachkala." Yassen said.

"Bless you." Alex said without any hesitation.

"Hah," Nile said, "no really, why there?"

Yassen's relaxed body stiffened a tiny bit, a tense line near the back of his neck. He rolled one shoulder in a shrug. Nile wanted to gasp in delight.

"Is Maka-m...Makachalawala a real place?" Alex asked in a very tiny voice, absolutely butchering the poor city name.

"Yes." Yassen said, relaxing now that they had ascended so high they could make a decent time. "It is the capital city of the Republic of Dagestan. It touches the western shore of the Caspian Sea. There is strong political and military upset, which aids us with heightened security."

Alex shrunk a little lower in his seat, staring out the window quietly. The poor kid had no idea what he was in for.

They kept flying, the steady sound of the chopper blades quiet outside the heavy earmuffs. They had a month, and Yassen was taking them to Russia. Nile wanted to laugh and wheeze over the man's choice of location, but Yassen had said so many sentences today and Nile didn't want to set his progress back.

They landed on the outskirts, in some sort of farming area where the poor owners looked scandalized with their arrival. Yassen walked out, speaking to the owners and coming to some sort of agreement. Alex watched with wide eyes, looking around the farm and the animals grazing in the distance.

"So...he took us to Russia." Alex said, finally saying what Nile had been gnawing on for hours.

"I know," Nile consoled. Alex's mouth twitched in the smallest arc of a smile, he looked down shyly at his hands.

"...Russians right?" Alex said, quiet and weak but his smile and confidence brightened a bit when Nile managed a bark of laughter.

Yassen returned and roped Nile into helping him cover the helicopter with a massive tarp and drag the thing into an empty straw silo. The harvesting season wasn't there yet, so it would be decent cover for a while yet. The poor owners very anxiously gave Yassen the keys to their car, in return Yassen handed over some sort of envelope that likely had more cash than they made in a year. The woman looked faint, and clutched one of her hens to her chest like a spoof of an old movie.

They piled into the car, helpfully tossing things out the window that they didn't need. Alex slid into the backseat this time, the only one that could prove difficult when they got through the security borders and patrols. Luckily, everyone in the entire car spoke Russian, either out of necessity or being petty.

The border security did prove a challenge, or rather the anxiety of the situation caught up to Alex. The boy jolted a good half dozen times in the back seat, gnawing on his lower lip viciously before he slumped and played pretend sleeping spontaneously. Yassen didn't look surprised, because Yassen could never be surprised. The border security barked out basic demands and questions. Where were they from? Where were they going? Where are their papers? Who is the boy in the back?

Yassen performed smooth and perfect and they rolled on through with Alex deflating from all his tense fake-sleep. The boy jolted up, peering around excitedly as Yassen very calmly parked the car outside a home purchasing agency, and went inside.

"Don't worry, this is standard." Nile assured Alex in English. It was unlikely that anyone here walking by would speak it. "Yassen likes to have an actual house for some reason. I'm more of an apartment person, but you know how it is."

Alex clearly did not know how it was, because Yassen returned quick and casual and slid into the car, pulling out onto the road, then the motorway with far too much ease. Alex at least displayed his anxiety openly.

"...you didn't really just buy a house, did you?" Alex asked quietly.

"No." said Yassen, "I removed a furnished house from their system. Bank owned. They will not notice its absence from the market until we have vanished."

They drove for quite a while, clearly the house Yassen selected was decided based on its location. Far enough away from the city that the security patrols and occasional riots wouldn't bother them. Not so far that they couldn't get back to their helicopter and flee- although Nile had a feeling that Yassen would just rob the nearest airport of a jet when the time came. The man had unquestionable ability to steal things like jets.

The house was nice, a few bedrooms and a cozy fireplace. Nile was skeptic of decorative pillows and hated how tiny the coffee table was, but Yassen settled in easy by hauling out the duffel bag filled with guns they brought from the Taliban, and set about securing the house. It was unlikely that anyone would have spies in this back corner of Russia, but Yassen was fond of setting up tripwires on the windows and cameras in the corner. Figures he'd be a helicopter parent.

Rider settled into the one bedroom, staring blankly at the furnishings before he awkwardly sighed and flopped on the bed. Nile couldn't blame him, he also didn't have anything else to change into and smelled like dust. Yassen wasn't normally the impulsive one, but really this was not coordinated at all.

"I'm going to take a bath," Alex announced loudly, "because I smell like feet."

So, Nile picked his bed and crashed. It wasn't the nicest bed, but it was better than sleeping in a bartered car that Yassen would likely destroy soon and find another one. Hopefully the bastard got groceries too.

The Yassen-ticks all but disappeared, but Nile prepared himself for a whole new monster because never had he expected the shy awkward Yassen.

It was cute, but also very horrifying. Alex couldn't help but compare the slow very cautious movements and actions to that of a large lion trying to be gentle with its zookeeper. Yassen moved gracefully, but also paused and skittered on occasion. Bouncing on the balls of his feet indecisively, and not used to making such quick unprompted movements. He didn't know what to do, but clearly had a goal in mind. Yassen had an objective, and was second guessing how to get there for some unknown reason.

Except Alex did know, because Yassen somehow could reset. He didn't understand it, but he knew instantly that every occasion with the untimed, random hour resets….it had been Yassen. At night, he tended to reset from five in the morning to one, which meant that Yassen was getting a huge amount of sleep in only a fraction of the time. Yassen reset a few times during the day as well, on one occasion multiple times the same day. Had it been a mission going wrong? Had it been a situation where he didn't know what to do? Had Alex been the one to reset the day that Cray...or had it been Yassen?

If Yassen was resetting, that made a whole new perspective on the things he had done and seen. Alex had no illusions over the fact that Yassen had spared his life multiple times, but had he? Had Yassen ever killed Alex, and then decided he couldn't bare it and rewound just to save him? It would explain Sayle, the man that Yassen shot and left dead on a building. It would explain Cray, who Yassen shot in retribution after Cray had tried (and almost succeeded) in killing him.

Alex wanted to be angry, because so far Yassen's actions supported the idea that he had killed Alex before. Alex should be mad, because Yassen had killed him, but did it really matter if he didn't remember? Did it really count if it never happened? Alex could argue that the intentions behind the action did matter, but he too had felt the weird strange calm of knowing that everything you want is at your fingertips, and nothing existed to stop you. Alex had punched people, then not. He had stolen, and then not. Was he still guilty of a crime he never did? Was he still accountable for an action that never happened? If Alex were to blame and treat Yassen accordingly for killing him, then Alex was to be held responsible for….

"I killed Cray." Alex said out loud, and he hated the way Nile instantly perked his head up and looked over curiously.

"I killed Cray, and I've killed other people." Alex said. Staring forward blankly as horror washed through his bones and left him feeling empty. "I've killed a lot of people."

Nile stared at him, then slowly stood up and approached. He settled next to Alex, a warm heat radiating from his skin. Nile didn't reach out, but his presence was grounding.

"Well, I can't say it bothers me anymore," Nile started with a chipper tone, although Alex could tell he was serious. "But some people...it takes a while. Some people it cares a bit at them, and tears out little bits of them until it wrecks them. In our profession, we don't kill without reason. If we do, we're just psychotic or we're a serial killer. Don't get me wrong, some of our clients are deranged lunatics but we aren't."

Alex nodded slowly, feeling very overwhelmed with everything evolving so rapidly and out of control. "I killed people but I didn't mean to."

"You did what you had to do," Nile tried to console, "It doesn't get easier, but you can always try to fix that. If it wastes you away, then stop."

"You don't understand, I- I can't-."

"Oh right," Nile said flippantly, "because MI6 blackmailed you into this and you don't get paid? Because your grades are suffering and you're traumatized so much you can't sleep anymore because you're being bossed around by a lot of pricks who won't leave you alone?"

Alex quieted, and Nile very slowly reached out to squeeze his knee gently. "You're doing great, kid. You've been dealt a super shit hand, but that doesn't mean you can't come out okay."

"You're really nice to me." Alex said.

"Well yeah," Nile said, "my closest friend is goddamn Yassen Gregorovich. He's the most anxious armadillo I know. Move to fast and shhwoop! There's that sweet repression!"

Alex smiled, looking a bit better, a bit happier with it all. "Thanks Nile."

"No problem kid."

Alex looked at him, really looked at him, then looked down at his knees. Shy, or deciding something Nile never thought he'd understand. Alex nodded, stood up, and walked off to the kitchen where the sink was working and had safe water. Nile smiled, because Alex really was a little Gregorovich.

Yassen came back with groceries, each from an assortment of different stores and in a brand new car. Nobody mentioned it, and Alex quickly melted into ravenously eating an entire loaf of bread. He reached out to something that looked like a bread pudding, then shuddered.

Yassen stumbled as well, clipping one hip into the nearest cabinet. He swung his head around, scowling slightly at a wide eye Alex holding his bread pudding guiltily.

"Alex, not when eating."

Alex ducked his head, flushing clearly. Nile didn't understand, but he didn't need to. Yassen had brought all sorts of food, and he was fine with Yassen randomly scolding the child if it meant he got food.

After dinner, Alex had curled up on a couch reading a book that Yassen had also brought. The boy was stumbling through Cyrillic, apparently much better with the spoken word. Nile wished he had the time to read, instead of filling out online forms for extended leave and vacation. He had a feeling that Yassen wasn't going to let go so quickly.

Nile knew Yassen was there before he saw him. His sixth sense buzzing as Yassen very slowly crept into the room. Not like his actual sneaking stealth way, but like his shy 'I want to be included but don't know how' way. Normally, he'd make it just past the doorway, pause, and then walk away normally. This time, he didn't.

Nile didn't breathe as Yassen entered the room, eyes flickering around like a buzzing fly as he slowly padded to the couch nearest both he and Alex. Alex was still reading, woefully ignorant. Nile was pointedly staring at his phone, trying to not vibrate too much in his excitement. Yassen rounded the couch, pausing by the armrest, before he continued slowly around. He managed to find his seat, the one in the middle, and carefully sat down, pausing before pulling his legs up and tucking them around his side so he slouched backwards comfortably. He had nothing in his hands, instead he stared forward at a boring painting the house agency hung on the wall, and... sat there.

This was a big step for Yassen. A very big step. Nile resumed breathing, slightly shaky with excitement. The cat had entered the room, and chosen to remain.

"Yassen," Alex said, looking up from the book with a small frown. "Your taste in books sucks."

No, no! Don't scare him away!

"Perhaps you do not admire classic literature." Yassen said smoothly. Alex rolled his eyes, curling up a bit tighter as he turned the page of his book.

"So like, what do you guys actually do?" Alex asked, "I don't think I can look on the internet for a job summary."

"I normally show up, look cute, and boss people around." Nile said. "I'm like...I bad group partner."

"Ah, yeah I know your type." Alex said. "Yassen...shows up and...kills employers?"

"Hah!" Nile laughed- but then Alex giggled quietly and Yassen stiffened like a very alarmed wide eye cat.

"Not in the living room, Yassen!" Alex said, voice mocking and scolding just from before. He then flipped a good twenty pages forward in his book, and continued to read. From that moment on, Yassen never jolted weirdly in the doorway, which was both hilarious and very odd to begin with.

Yassen's anxiety and awkwardness only became more evident when in discussions, namely with Alex. When talking to Nile, he didn't really talk that much. Which was completely fine considering that Nile talked enough for an entire unit and the helicopter pilot included. Alex though...Alex was chatty, and generally talked out loud to everyone and everything. He liked asking questions, fitting in dry sarcasm, and his dark humour was enough to make Princess Diana roll in her grave.

"So, why do you always leap so far?" Alex asked, looking over at Yassen who was working on more paperwork, or something that Nile didn't care about. Maybe the man had finally taken up emotional poetry writing like the SCORPIA therapists all begged him to do.

"It's easier." Yassen said flatly. Not looking up. Nile said nothing but...yes? If you're going to leap, you may as well jump far. It was practically in the name itself. Although Yassen did have long legs, so maybe Alex thought he would...no that didn't make sense either.

"No it isn't." Alex argued. " Further is harder. Short stuff is easy."

Yassen paused, and looked up at Alex with obvious curiosity. He instantly flickered his eyes away, staring just over Alex's ear as once more, that pesky social awkwardness appeared.

"Leaping further is easier."

"Uh, no. Not at all."

"Further distances require more effort-."

"You leap every night! Do you have any idea how insane that is?"

"Little Alex, you leap a half dozen times in an hour. That, throws off aim and calculations. It's disorienting."

Nile wondered, if he should possibly add jumping into his exercise routines. Or jumping jacks. Why was Yassen hopping while shooting a gun?

"Maybe you, are just bad at it." Alex challenged. Yassen pulled his head back, looking like a dog that had sniffed something strong and foul.

"I am not. You are still a beginner…"

"You just said you can't hop so many times in an hour!"

"You fail to leap further than a handful of hours-."

'Jumping is measured by time?' Nile wondered, before ignoring it because the two were strange and should be best left alone. Maybe they were both...very passionate about jumping. Maybe Rider was on his school's high-jump team. Competitive sack-races?

"Well, I can't push it far-."

"I have been successful with thirteen hours."

Alex gasped, inhaling in surprise and awe. His eyes rounded like coins, and his jaw dropped ever so slightly before he noticed and fixed it. He shifted a little in his seat, suddenly exhibiting every symptom of 'Yassen is so cool ' disorder like Nile saw in the new recruits. Poor kid.

"I can…" Alex floundered, looking around before he closed his book and held it up above his head. He was still sitting, so it wasn't that high, but his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He inhaled slowly, and exhaled in a smooth controlled motion. He dropped the book.

Nile watched the book, expecting some sort of great feat. The book thumped to the ground, and Alex keeled over, heaving for breath and panting loudly. Nile thought, that he was an idiot.

"Impressive." Yassen admitted, looking equally mystified and a little shy as Alex beamed toothily. "Five hops."

'Correct that,' Nile thought, 'They're both idiots.'

"Have you applied this to fighting?" Yassen asked, tilting his head tomake actual eye contact, before he fluttered and looked away quickly. Baby steps, gosh Nile was so proud of him.

"Uh, not more than the...wait until everything explodes, then hop down and disarm it?"

Nile wanted to ask how the hell Rider hadn't died yet, but the first time they met things had done the same, so really he already knew. Weaponized beginners luck. No wonder Hunter was a beast if his son was this.

"I'll show you tomorrow," Yassen said, looking pleased, "not now. You need natural time to let your mind absorb your readings."

"What do you want for food?" Nile offered, stretching out so his feet managed to flex right under Alex's scrunched up nose, "I can make some pasta."

"Pasta is fine!" Alex said happily.

Nile thought that life was good, that things were fine. They were most certainly not fine, because when they finished dinner and went off to bed, he woke up tired and cranky for his shift to learn, that Alex Rider, slept in.

Slept-in was a rare occurrence, the instances where you sleep so much you stay groggy and loose and happily relaxed. That normally was ten, maybe twelve hours. Not four like a certain Yassen Gregorovich monster.

"No," Nile said in horror, "fuck you, fuck you-."

"Huh?" Alex gurgled, slept in and choking on cereal at four in the morning.

"There's two of you," Nile said, "oh god there's two of them."

"Ignore Nile. He requires more than four hours of sleep." Yassen advised, already dressed and fully functioning near the coffee pot.

"Oh, right," Alex blinked, looking as if he had legitimately forgot, "he needs a lot of sleep right?"

"More than four you vampires."

Alex laughed, his eyes crinkling up and the haze of tired extinguishing from the edges. Even Yassen looked happy, in a carefully hidden way. He was glowing, somewhere along the way of stealing a boy, a light had come back to Yassen. He seemed...so full of energy again.

"We're going to go outside!" Alex let Nile know, sliding over the coffee helpfully, "don't worry if you hear anything, no seriously, don't worry."

"Alex." Yassen said fondly, "he is accustomed to it. No damage will result in our spar."

"Yassen no,"' Nile blurted, "you're going to kill that kid."

" Yeah he will." Alex agreed contently. "He already smashed my face in, but you knocked my tooth out."

"What? When!"

"In my dreams." Alex shrugged it off, "come on! Lets go beat each other up already! Or are you still tired, Yashka!"

Yassen's smile was a sharp baring his teeth. He didn't seem alarmed in the slightest, in fact he seemed more indulgent when Alex snatched two steak knives from the cupboard.

"Not a scratch on him," Nile warned Yassen. Nile already had white skin, he didn't want to have white hair now too. "I mean it, we can't go to the hospital or anything-."

"Alex Rider will be fine." Yassen said.

Alex was excited, and not prepared in the slightest for fighting an actual assassin. He wasn't trained in it. He had a few martial arts belts and experience wrestling, but that was nothing when facing an older amused man who had already blinded you from smashing your cheekbone into your eye.

"That reminds me," Alex said, "Why did you shoot Sayle?"

Yassen stilled at the question, pausing with his loose battle ready stance. He looked down, then up, then at the trees, then back to Alex's ear. Alex remembered Nile saying that Yassen was a very anxious person- even this whole experience was twisting Alex's nerves and making him feel very flighty. There was a sense of comfort that came with the knowledge that if anything bad happened, he could reset it. A security blanket, that had been torn free from him but had also left Yassen. They were both exposed, cursed with the knowledge that they wouldn't forget what they said or did even when everyone else did.

"He…" Yassen trailed off, voice shifting in tone. His face twitched slightly, fingers clenched into a fist. Yassen inhaled, then forced his body to relax again- Alex knew the signs, he would have already reset as well.

"He was...not...what I wished to see." Yassen said, voice unsteady, "In the world. His actions had...consequences I did not find appropriate."

Alex fiddled with his sleeve, frowning down at the grass. "So you let your employers do what they were going to, and then if it's bad you fix it?"

"That would be an adequate description." Yassen agreed.

So Alex went for it. "Did you kill me? With Sayle?"

Yassen stilled, and then side stepped and jerked his head. His hands flexed, his nostrils flared. There was no running away, not anymore when they would remember forever what they had never said. Yassen looked at Alex, paling slightly and flinching back before he kept his eyes affixed to the trees.

"...I…" He trailed off, licking his lips nervously. "I...accidentally. Yes."

"Accidentally." Alex echoed. Alex's hands were trembling slightly, so he curled them into fists and tucked them into his pockets.

"I...I was instructed to shoot you, but I...I aimed for non-vital." Yassen said quickly, rushing the words in a quiet exhale. "Sayle was ...not in agreeance. He shot you, and I killed him. The wounds were severe, and you…"

"I died?" Alex asked, because the concept of death and something concrete finished did not feel possible. It felt beyond his reach, something he could never have now.

"No. Sayle had...modified health records and documentation, more than believed. I had... thought, that you were compatible in blood but you..you were not…you had systemic shock and..." Yassen trailed off, his voice nearly cracking at the end. Yassen looked haunted, eyes flickering about as he shifted agitatedly.

Alex never spent much time in class, but he did pay attention sometimes. The unit on Punnet Squares, the pop quizzes that he and Tom took. They had a unit on blood typing, how different people were compatible or different or which types were dominant and recessive. You could accept the same blood type or a few others, and Alex learned that he could accept only a select few. Someone asked what would happen, and the explanation soared over his and Tom's head except key phrases like 'body-wide red blood cells exploding' and 'apoptosis' and 'in severe cases- death.'

He didn't pay too much attention because blood still bothered him and he tried to hide it. Tom asked him if he was alright, because he never knew that Alex was afraid of blood. It was suspicious, how he bolted out of class when instructed to prick their fingers because blood spilled over hands and pale skin and the smell was so strong...

Alex still remembered the nights when he woke up screaming, a sobbing mess because inside his eyes and inside his body he still felt Yassen's head thump to his shoulder and the grotesque splatter of Cray on a plane. He still smelled the burnt rubber and the destruction and chaos and the way Yassen's sticky hot blood soaked into his pores. He still had nightmares, flashes where a red tomato on the kitchen counter and powerpoint slides in biology left him flinching.

He had never ever considered that Yassen had his own demon.

"I tried to save your life," Yassen said quietly, "and my efforts condemned you to die in my arms. No matter how hard I tried to save you."

"Why?" Alex asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

Yassen's shoulders hunkered inwards. "Hunter died...alone. So I swore that I would never let his child share the same fate."

Alex didn't know he was crying until he sniffled and brushed his face, staring down at the ground because they couldn't dare meet each others eyes.

"You…" Alex said. "You died too. When Cray...you told me to come over and…"

Yassen made a small noise of comprehension. He looked embarrassed, uncomfortable as he nodded slowly. "Yes. The...the reset occurs moments before...it is instinctual. Uncontrollable."

"Why did you have me come over?" Alex said, clenching his jaw, "why would you tell me that!"

Yassen stared at him, and looked away. "I didn't know if I would die." Yassen said. "I didn't...want to die alone."

Alex could feel his body shaking. The broken hitching of his breathing, the way he trembled like a leaf and even Yassen looked pale and sickly with guilt. Alex almost vomited on the ground, he almost turned and ran because he wanted to run so far.

"How." Alex demanded, knowing that his voice was wet and blubbery, "how did this happen. How the bloody hell did this shit happen!"

Yassen shrunk in on himself again, staring at the ground. "I...I don't-."

"You owe me an explanation!"

"...I died."' Yassen said quietly. "Or I...I tried… "

Alex felt his mind scream at him to stop, but he didn't. He took one step, then two, then another until he was shakily running and slamming into the taller man and sobbing into his shirt. They were both such horrible beautiful messes.

"How did this happen to us?" Alex asked, demanded and crying through it. "It hurts so much, how did this happen?"

Yassen curled downwards, his chin on Alex's hair and wrapping around him in something too disfigured to ever be an embrace. "I was...lost, without Hunter. I...I was foolish, and much like you. I went and challenged fate, or luck, or some incarnation beyond us. I like to imagine that a bit of Rider Luck remained, and my own hatred and anger turned it into a curse."

"A bit of luck?"

"Yes," Yassen said quietly. His chest heaved, although his voice was steady. Alex wondered if he had ever told someone else these words, but they were both lost and drifting and needed each other to confirm that they were real. "I...I imagine Hunter would be quite mad with me. Perhaps his last action was to sway my hand. Are you familiar with Russian Roulette?"

"You died?"

"No, little Alex." Yassen laughed sadly, "Rider Luck, after all. It seems it's never quite...lost its charm."

They cried, because they both needed it and it was so easy to find yourself lost and adrift and drowning in time. Her waters were cold and lonely, and only so much laughter and kindness could drag you from solipsism.

The first time that Alex settled himself, inhaling and letting out gently, he met Yassen's eyes and verbally said for the first time, " Reset."

Yassen was arched over him, chin pressed into his hair. Alex's sobbing faltered and faded off almost instantly. Yassen's face hurt and his body slowed from its previous trembling.

"You sneaky child." Yassen murmured. "All that, to get here."

Alex wriggled his head, peering up with wet eyes and a dazzling bright smile. "It worked, didn't it. Weren't you the one that said something like... Maybe next time?'