Hello! Hello? Can you hear me? Testing, testing, one-two-three. Oh, neat. You can hear me. Can you see me, too? How many fingers am I holding up? Hah, I forgot. Waving around a five-fingered hand freaks you guys out first time you see it. I'd better introduce myself.

Hi, I'm Dib Membrane! I was a human being, as you can see on the screens. Homo Sapien. Most of the time we've got two arms, two legs, two eyes, and one head, with varying degrees of functionality. We also have ears instead of antennae, which are flaps next to holes in our head. Haha, Zim, look at 'em cringe all at once. I could do that all day.

Ah, you're all wondering why I'm on your screens, yeah? Considering this is such an important trial you're in the middle of, what's a human doing here? Though I guess you don't really know much about humans, so you're just asking yourself why an inferior alien is talking to you, and how I got control of the signal. Channel? Network? Whatever you call it. Or, you're wondering, did the Almighty Tallests script this? Is this a planned part of the entertainment?

Nah. I invited myself to the trial. It's probably the most important trial in your species history, how could I possibly miss it? It's been a really long time coming, longer than most of my kinds' lifespans. There, standing on that central platform, with all kinds of wires jammed into his PAK, is notorious defective, Invader Zim. For those of you who couldn't be here in person and are watching on individual PAK screens across the galaxy, I'll crop a live feed of the judgment chamber into the corner so you don't feel cheated.

You're all shocked I know what a PAK is. Well, Zim was assigned to my planet, and let me tell you, he's a terrible Invader. Because of that, there's a whole lot I know about you. Probably a lot more than you're comfortable with. But I'm not here to frighten you with those details. I'm here as a witness. After all, what's a trial without testimony?

Gotcha now, huh? You wanna see just how badly Zim embarrassed himself and shamed the empire. Well, if you don't mind listening to a lowly human's memories, I'm happy to expand on today's entertainment. It's going to be an execution you'll never forget, I promise you that. So sit back, grab a snack, and let me tell you just how deep his treachery runs.

Note: SO HERE WE GO AGAIN. This is the sequel to Hey Spacejerk, however I intend to write it so that you do not have to read Hey Spacejerk in order to understand what is going on. Let me know if I succeed!

Also, once I saw Enter The Florpus, I realized I could never again write Professor Membrane as a villain. It's too late to fix Hey Spacejerk, so please just be aware that Spacejerk was written based off knowledge of Prof Membrane that we had with just the TV show. I may have to reference a similarly villainous Membrane IN THIS FIC simply for continuity's sake between my stories, but I no longer hold the villain-Membrane perspective and will not in future Zim fics. I like working with canon info best of all.