ByaRen - Balance

To Bee, for being supportive and helpful and just all-around sweet! From idea-bouncing to typing help to collab work, it's been great working with you, girl.

This is not based on any particular story, but RenByaRen is established.

Warnings: language, emotional Renji, pining, mentions of self-neglect, m/m sexxxy times

Renji sighed, gazing down at his work.

Loneliness sucked.

His partner had been gone for nearly 3 weeks now, on a mission to the Living World with several other Shinigami. Reports came in to the Head Captain daily, so Renji knew his captain was fine.

But Byakuya hadn't contacted him personally since the day he left.

It was fine, it was fine, it was fine-

It was not fine! Renji missed his partner so badly his very soul ached. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had barely spoken with Zabi in days. Really, he knew it was ridiculous and irrational to be this twisted up over not getting to see his boyfriend for a while, but he couldn't help it. Every instinct screamed that he should be with Byakuya.

With another sigh that seemed to come all the way from his toes, he finished the form he was on and set it aside.

Oh. That had been the last one. He'd been so preoccupied he hadn't noticed. Now he didn't even have work to take off the edge of the loneliness.

He put the papers in the outbox for in the morning and locked up the office. He went into the captain's quarters, glancing at the bed. It seemed so much bigger and colder without Byakuya to share it with.

But Renji couldn't bring himself to leave and go back to his own quarters.

That bed was where they'd slept together for the first time, and where they had confessed their feelings after almost a month of sleeping together. Now, nearly a year later, they only used it on occasion, usually opting to go to the manor or Renji's place, which they had agreed he should keep as a token of his fiery independence.

But this was the bed that had seen it all begin.

And right now, Renji couldn't give less of a fuck about his independence.

He walked over and touched the mattress, then knelt on the floor next to it. "I miss you so much, Byakuya," he whispered, tears gathering in his eyes.

Gods, he was being so fucking ridiculous right now! His captain hadn't left him or fucking died!

Yet here he was, in tears just cause his partner was on a mission and had been gone less than a month. And hadn't seen fit to contact him. Not once.

He vaguely wondered if he should be angry, but it just hurt. What if Byakuya had found someone else while on his mission? No, he was sure he would have gotten a letter for that. His boyfriend was the most honorable person he knew. He wouldn't cheat on him.

Still, it hurt that not one letter or Hell Butterfly had come for him.

Finally, he got up and headed for the shower, still sniffling a bit. In the shower, his mind wandered to 'naked Byakuya' as it often did. His body reacted, his member twitching as if seeking the noble. Renji gave a half-laugh, half-sob at the thought. Yeah, buddy, I want him back, too.

He gave a couple half-hearted strokes, then sighed. It just wasn't the same without Byakuya watching him or helping in some way.

He washed himself, ignoring his body's need. He dried off, his movements slow and unenthusiastic. At least the bed still had a slight scent of sakura - if Renji curled up to a pillow and closed his eyes, he would almost be able to imagine his lover had come home.

Maybe he wouldn't cry himself to sleep tonight.

Renji didn't bother with a yukata, just slowly shuffled back into the bedroom, gazing blankly at the floor.

A waft of sakura reached him just as he felt the caress of pale, powerful reiatsu.

His head snapped up, and there, perched on the edge of the bed, was his superior. "By-Byakuya?"

The noble held out his arms and Renji fairly flew into them, tackling Byakuya back onto the bed. Hungry, desperately passionate kisses were exchanged for long moments, then Renji raised his head. "Why didn't anyone tell me you were headed home?"

His partner traced the markings on his chest. "I asked them to keep it a secret - I wished to surprise you."

Renji caught the hand wandering his chest. "Why didn't you contact me?" His voice was low and pained, almost cracking at the end.

Those dark platinum eyes met his. "Because I knew if I did, you'd reply. And I realized very quickly after I left that I missed you desperately. If I'd gotten a letter or Hell Butterfly from you...I would likely have abandoned the mission."

Deeply touched, Renji felt tears well up. Byakuya gently brushed them away. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Renji. I...I actually arrived earlier and saw you kneeling by the bed. I'm so sorry I caused you pain."

Renji sniffled, and Byakuya continued. "My Renji, you have not been sleeping well since I left, have you?"

He shook his head, and his lover kissed him. "Nor have I. I am greatly looking forward to sleeping in each other's arms again. But first..."

Renji gasped as the noble's hand dropped from his face to his member, and Byakuya smirked. "I imagine this has missed me, as well?"

Renji practically whined in response, thrusting against his partner's hand. "Ta-Taicho!"

His superior smiled. "What would you like to do, Renji?"

He made a confused sound; while he usually topped, he always let Byakuya decide what they would actually do.

The older man stroked his member slowly. "I decided about two and a half weeks ago that the moment I came home, things would change. You should get to make decisions in the bedroom, too, not just me."

Renji couldn't think straight with the hand on his length and the scent of sakura all around him. "I'm happy with whatever you let me do, Taicho."

Byakuya frowned slightly but continued touching him. "Renji, honey, I have been gone far too long to tolerate you calling me 'Taicho' right now."

Renji felt that white reiatsu brushing against him warningly, and moaned as he sank into it. "Ok, Byakuya."

He crawled off of the smaller Soul Reaper to lay on his back on the bed, spreading his legs. He blushed at the idea in his head but spoke confidently. "Hold me down with your reiatsu while you fuck me."

His lover raised an eyebrow but stood and stripped before crawling onto the bed. Renji felt that lovely energy press down over every inch of him, pinning him in place. He gasped in visceral pleasure, instinctively arching against the reiatsu but pleased when it didn't let up.

"Oh gods, yes! Please, Byakuya! I need you so bad!" He knew he sounded needy and desperate, but he didn't care, especially when the noble leaned close to kiss him thoroughly, long, slender fingers sinking into his body to prepare him.

Renji moaned into the kiss, trying to writhe in pleasure as Byakuya worked him.

Then the fingers slid away, and he growled in hunger as his superior's member sank into his body, filling him perfectly. "Mmm, fuck yeah, take me."

Byakuya smiled lovingly. "You and your filthy mouth."

Renji grinned wickedly. "Fuck me."

Byakuya chuckled, but obliged, rocking his hips forcefully. The rhythm was fast and hard, and they were both panting in moments. Renji was glad it was after-hours, as he was screaming and cussing and proclaiming his love for this man to anyone within a mile.

Byakuya smiled down at him, panting, "I..love..you..too!"

At the last moment, the reiatsu let up, allowing Renji to thrash and grab onto his lover with all four limbs as they came in a glorious clashing of bodies.

For several minutes, they lay panting and clinging to each other, trembling as they whispered their love and how much they'd missed each other. Every touch and word was meaningful and full of the need to stay together.

It wasn't too long before the urge to continue making up for lost time drove them into more frenzied love-making. This time, Renji took his superior, their connection just as urgent as the last.

After several heated joinings, they lay in the window seat of the captain's quarters, taking their time worshipping each other's bodies while occasionally taking a few seconds to admire the lightening early-morning sky together.

Finally, just as the sun began peeking over the horizon, they managed to get back in bed, engaging in one last leisurely round before succumbing to sleep, holding each other tight.

Thank goodness for weekends.