Dishes

A few days had passed since the visit of the President of the United States. In the minds of the Derry Girls though that day had brought to the forefront their attachment to a certain wee member of the group. All the teasing about kicking James out of the group went from a simple joke to a harsh reality when he chose to walk away. No one had brought up that day since, particularly Michelle, who continued to mock her cousin ruthlessly.

Erin was in her own little world those few days. She spent it reliving those moments during the few spare seconds that Orla wasn't in her room. Or walking in as she daydreamed in the bath tub. Part of her was glad that James had returned before the President had even begun his speech and they had sprinted to see the friend who had nearly left them. Sitting alone at her desk once again, watching the sky shifting to dusk, Erin's stomach twisted in hunger. The sensation was nearly mimicking the twist of Jame's words that day.

That he didn't belong there. This wasn't his real life and he was always going to leave.

That being in Derry was only temporary. Being here had got in the way.

It was strange, she thought, writing in her latest diary – one she had bought with a lock – and contemplating these feelings. Erin knew deep down they had just been words, but they echoed in her mind when she was alone and her thoughts drifted to a certain young lad. Truthfully, when everyone was clasping their arms around him in happiness she had struggled to smile. Delight had coursed through her, but so did the hurt that wouldn't quite go away as easily. That day she stayed a bit away from him, as if the raw emotions would only be exacerbated by proximity and the way he looked at her…

Anymore it felt as if he knew everything she felt when he met her eyes. She couldn't fake a smile with the heavy weight upon her chest making it hard to breathe or without tears brimming her eyes. She had avoided calling on her friends a few days, but she couldn't avoid them much longer. Even two days seemed like far too long to be apart. They'd probably be calling -

Ding Dong

"Erin! Your friends are here!" Ma Mary called from downstairs and just as Erin fumbled to clasp the locket on her diary, barely shoving it between two novels, Orla bounded through her bedroom door.

"Come on, Erin...oh...what is that?" Orla's eyes flitted quickly from Erin's outstretched hand to the books she had reached towards. She took two steps forward before Erin distracted her.

"Oy, Orla, who's here?" Erin asked as she took her sister's hand and lightly pulled her along, closing her lights off behind her. Her feet were cold so she wore long socks nearly to her knees to keep them warm. Unlike Orla with mismatched gray and black knee socks, Erin's were a light baby blue to match her loose shirt.

"Come and see," Orla sang lightly, hopping down the steps and waving to their guests. Already Erin could make out Michelle and James's dark hair, both looking towards the kitchen speaking to her ma. Last, she noticed Claire still near the door waving up at her.

"Evening, Erin," Claire said with a soft smile, her hair pulled back from her face in a low ponytail. She was still taking her coat off as Erin greeted her.

"Hi, Claire," Erin said as she reached the door and looked over to see Michelle facing her now. Orla was leaning against the stairwell as Michelle came within inches of Erin's face, a mischievous grin plaster on her tanned face. "Aye, Michelle? What ya doing?" Erin asked with her brow furrowing.

"Erin, ya won't believe what James's mother gave him as a gift," Michelle said and Erin continued frowning at her in confusion. Michelle reached back towards James. Erin hadn't been able to greet him yet but as she began to Michelle yanked a box from his arms. He didn't resist and the motion distracted Erin so she missed his soft smile.

The box was white and slender like other board games she had seen. It had some white mat printed on the front with four rows of colorful circles and people seen contorting their body over it. She didn't quite understand what it was and she looked back at Michelle.

"What is 'Twister'?" she asked, feeling Claire brush past her to stand beside James and away from the drafty door. Perhaps she should move as well, feeling the slight chill hit her.

"Remember spin the bottle?" Michelle asked, walking into the living room where Granda Joe was napping now. The television rambled on about daily weather and news.

"Aye," Erin said, feeling anxiety well as she brushed past James to seat herself on the floor. The others joined her with Orla sitting behind her to braid her hair.

"In this game you spin and see what color the arrow lands on. Then you position yourself by color. Eventually people can get quite tangled up," Michelle said and glancing towards the unconscious Joe she added, "Add a few lads to the mix...sprinkle a dash of alcohol...I'd call it an opportunity to expand our horizons. If you know what I mean."

Erin's eyes widened at the idea and she smiled, a little flushed.

"Aye, we know what you mean," James sighed, his body bent over in half as he listened to her drone on. It was a gift to him, but Michelle seemed to have other ideas for it.

"I was thinking we give it a try first. Then bring it to a party. Have a little extra fun," Michelle said, straightening up and enunciating every sound in 'fun'. Her devious smile was alight and her eyes sparkled in the dimly lit room. "Hell, Claire, add a girl or two and you might find it a craic game."

"Michelle!" Claire said, insulted by her insinuation...however it did pass through her thoughts. A moment later she had opened the box herself to look at the contents with a barest twitch of a smile on her own lips. "I've never played it or heard much about it. At least it's not drugs," she quipped with a raised brow at Michelle.

"Christ, isn't that the truth," Erin added. She was curious herself at the prospect and her gaze dropped on James's face. He had sat beside her and with his head propped on a bent hand he grinned at her response as he stared off. A second later his eyes looked up to meet hers and the grin widened a bit. Erin dropped her gaze to read the instructions clearly. Claire came to her elbow to read as well. Orla was humming and had undone the small braid she had made, deciding to create just one large braid from Erin's hair.

"What are ya'll getting up to in there?" Ma Mary asked, she had just finished bathing the little one who cooed softly in her arms. Gerry took the baby's clothes to the laundry bin before standing at her side to take the baby.

"Michelle and James brought a new game for us to play," Erin said, watching her Granda Joe twitch slightly as they continued to talk louder.

"Erin, I asked you to take care of the dishes after dinner. Get those done before you play," her ma said and Erin grimaced. God, she had forgotten all about the dishes earlier while she was daydreaming.

"But, ma…," Erin began and quickly quieted at the glowering look her mother sent her way. "Give me a minute – ya'll can set up the game."

"Aye, we'll take it upstairs and set it up," Claire suggested, considering the room would be crowded soon. Aunt Sarah was out for a date but with a full house the living room was too small to play a game like this. Not that Erin's was much larger, but at least if they fell on each other it wouldn't hit ma or granda. Michelle agreed and helped pack everything up to carry. She raced upstairs and her energy spurred Orla into action as well.

"Aye, hold up!" Orla called out. Her heavy landing as she jumped up and ran to Erin's room awoke Granda with a start and he woke up violently, cursing. It caught James off guard who leapt back a few feet. Claire picked up the instructions they had left behind and trailed to join them.

"We'll wait for you to finish, Erin," Claire stated as she left.

"What the feck, lad? Tryin' give an old man a heart attack?" Granda Joe shouted at James, clutching his chest dramatically. He gave a grizzly groan and glared at him slightly as he shifted his rump more comfortably in the leaning chair.

"Da, it was Orla - not James - who was making that racket," Mary stated as she leaned back into the couch to join her father in watching TV. "Why not go to bed if you're so tired?"

"I was just resting my eyes," he said with a grumble and shifted in his chair again, giving a last side-eye to James who had headed towards the stairwell with the others. Gerry had disappeared to tuck the baby into bed for the evening – and spend some time away from his father-in-law.

James halted in his steps as he saw Erin gather the dishes from the dining table and start to fill the sink with hot water. She had begun to drizzle dish soap in the hot water when he took a few steps back. Turning again to the living room James noted Mary and Joe's eyes caught on the television. Mary herself never looked away but a faint smile curved her lips as his feet rerouted towards the mostly empty kitchen.

Erin pouted to herself as she laid the pile of dishes in the water, feeling the leftover food stick to her hand. Christ, this is gross.

"Care for some help?" James said and Erin stiffened like a rod. She thought everyone had gone upstairs. She didn't realize he had stayed. Even her own cousin had abandoned her down here with filthy dishes.

"Nah, it's fine," she said, hoping her voice didn't sound strained.

"Are you sure? It's no problem," he tried again, walking closer and she felt his presence draw near. "You'd be done faster."

"No, James. Don't worry. I'll be quick," she said, tensing at his continuous approach. She continued to gaze into the growing bubbles in the sink. Even she noticed the sharp tensity in her voice that seemed a bit like a bark.

"Are you mad at me?" James asked softly, just a few inches from her elbow. Caught off guard by the question Erin looked over her shoulder, forehead crumpled in confusion. His face was slightly downcast and contrite as he looked towards her. The question confused her, but she didn't know what to say as they looked at each other and he scratched his neck awkwardly. As she thought of what to say he turned away to plod out the kitchen. "Ah, nevermind," he said, pale cheeks turning a light blush.

Quickly she turned the water off. Before she could think she reached out to grab the wrist of his sweater, "It'd be class if you'd help me." He halted and turned, face breaking into an unsure smile. Uncertainty clouded his features and despite her own uncertainty of how she felt, an annoying pang ached in her chest when she saw his face that way. So instead she smiled at him, hoping to ease him.

It worked. A smile crossed his face instantaneously that even hit his eyes and he seemed to grow taller. He stepped past her within a second to take her spot with the pile of dirty dishes, "I'll wash and you can dry." Erin was ecstatic beyond measure, she wouldn't have to mess with the nasty water.

"...are you sure, I mean..." she attempted to be courteous although she hoped he'd still do it...since he had offered after all.

"Of course," he said, scrubbing at some remnant gravy on a plate already. She'd barely noticed him pushing his sleeves up past his forearms. Smiling earnestly she joined him at the sink, drying the dishes as he scrubbed and cleaned.

A few pleasant moments passed and Erin found herself softly humming.

"Why did you think I was mad?" she found herself asking, taking a clean plate he held out to her. She placed it down gently, keeping her voice low as she heard Gerry coming in from the baby's room to sit by his wife.

"You haven't been by much."

"Aye."

"You seem more quiet than you used to."

"Ah…," Erin said, nodding as she said that – unsure of how to answer.

"I guess, it's just seemed a bit different since…," James didn't finish, stopping his work as he, himself, was unsure how to bring up his almost leaving Derry.

"Well...that's part of it," she admitted, leaning against the edge of the counter and not looking into his features. She looked down, "I guess...well I know people say stuff all the time. And I mean...I wonder if some of what you said was true..." she trailed off.

I think it's just Stockholm Syndrome. I don't really belong here, this was just temporary. It was never meant to last…

"...oh…," he sighed, his sudsy hand rested on the sink counter.

"Is Derry really in the way of the life you want? Do you dislike it here? It's crossed my mind all the things you said. What part was in the moment and what was true. Either way...I wanted to apologize for if I've hurt your feelings at any point," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper as she went on while her face heated up in volumes stoking to a bright red. "I didn't think you'd just leave so abruptly," she continue suddenly unable to stop, twisting the drying towel in her hand, "I think of you as a dependable sort so it was a bit shocking."

She finally stopped. At this point she had already verbally vomited every thought she'd been hiding, she refused to vomit any of the other secrets she was hiding from all of them at this point. Quickly, not willing to look at his face she grabbed for the plate he hadn't finished cleaning in the sudsy water. Perhaps she should help him – after all it was her family's dishes, she was taking advantage of James's kindness.

"I love it here," he said, one hand reaching out to halt her wrist and his left hand taking the plate away to resume cleaning. His eyes were still staring at her avoidant face that simmered beet red and part of him was intrigued as he watched her face emit so many feelings. He wasn't quite sure why, but he did love it here. Even now, watching Erin's face a particular feeling of warmth spread in his own being and he wanted to see more of her reactions. "I'm sorry as well, I didn't mean to shock you," he added and watched as she finally looked up at him. Huh, her eyes were shimmering a bit, a sheen of moisture on them.

"Your last surprise was better," she said, her smile widening and the moisture dissipated.

"Last surprise?" he took a moment to think and then… "Ah, prom!" His ears flushed, "Sorry, I know you were expecting John Paul." She pushed James's shoulder, causing him to move slightly.

"Nah, you were better," she blurted and quickly turned away. .FECK. Maybe he didn't hear...he was scrubbing the dishes...Slowly she turned her gaze back towards him and froze. His scrubbing hands had stopped and his eyes seemed a little wide. Maybe she was imagining it. But then he resumed just as quickly. Her eyes caught on his large hands so she missed the dimpled smirk plastered on his features.

As he handed her the next plate his hand seemed to rub against hers.

"Aye, what the feck is going on in here?" a cantankerous shout caused both teens to freeze. Haltingly they turned to face her granda, although to be honest all that occurred was James handing her a clean plate. That didn't stop them from having crimson flushed cheeks. "You testing your moves out on my granddaughter aren't you? You pervert."

James felt queasy – he wasn't quite sure if he preferred the pervert or the gay comments.

"Granda! He was just helping with the dishes," Erin argued as she placed her hands on her hips. Gerry felt deja vu as he glanced back and Ma Mary stood up.

"Da, leave the wee English fella alone. Unless you intend to help Erin, that is," Mary remarked and her own hands followed a similar stance as Erin's. Joe's brow twitched at that and with a weaker grumble he left the kitchen.

"I'm going to bed then, let these children run rampant," Granda Joe bid them a goodnight with. Mary rolled her eyes and only glanced at her daughter briefly before sitting back down with Gerry. Instantly she felt her husband's body relax with the slow recession of her father to his bedroom.

"See, much quicker this way," James broke the silence minutes later as he handed her the last cup. He was right and she nodded in agreement. She took the clean cup from him, lamenting abruptly when their fingers didn't touch. "I'll be upstairs with the others," and with that James nearly ran from the room, slowing only momentarily to wave at Mrs. Quinn.

After a few seconds of composure Erin turned off the lights to the kitchen.

"Do be quiet, Erin. I want them gone by eleven at the latest. It may be holiday for you, but your father has work and the baby's finally asleep," Mary told her daughter as she rested her head on her husband's shoulder. A commercial for baking soda played in the background.

"Aye, mammy," she responded and made her way up the stairs. Anticipation pooled deep in her stomach, creating a soft bubble and tingle across her skin. She couldn't help but smile, her usual half-smirk spreading easily as she ascended the staircase. Soft voices could be heard in her room and she gently turned the doorknob, pushing it in.

Orla was busy testing her flexibility already, twisting as Michelle called out a hand and color for the energetic girl. Clare was nervously awaiting her own turn and smiled as Erin entered, closing the door. Her eyes finally fell on James, sitting on her bed. He was listening to Michelle as she explained the rules, his brows furrowed in concentration as Erin found her place beside Clare.

A shrill noise billowed from outside, the wind blistering cold and Erin felt a sense of peace overcome her knowing she was surrounded by the love of her friends in the home that had protected her for years. Her cousin twitched, anxious to move again as Clare reached her hand out tentatively on a green dot. James joined next, sliding down from the bed between Michelle and the mat with his hand reaching out on a green dot two down from Clare.

"Ready, Erin?" Michelle asked once she had spun and placed a foot on blue near the edge of the mat.

"I s'pose so," Erin said and meandered over, flicking her finger against the spinner and watching it land on left foot blue. She stood across from Michelle, awaiting her next move as they gang slowly became entangled. In only two moves it became clear the mat was rather small for five people with everyone twisted and excusing themselves as they readjusted to fit. Clare was spread eagled already, one foot on red and the other on green as she groaned and bent over with her hand on blue. Her leg quivered above Michelle's arm with Michelle cursing and warily eyeing the weakening blonde.

"I swear to God. If you fall on my arm you're dead," Michelle threatened her, shifting as her legs weren't as spread but instead her arms reaching in awkward angles.

"Shut up, Michelle, hurry Orla!" Clare cried out and Orla reached out to spin once more, this time landing on right hand red. Up to this point Orla had been rather relax about the whole game, actually trying to find complicated positions to twist her body into. This time she seemed to think about it and suddenly Erin's face paled watching her cousin contort.

At this moment Erin had already been sweating, as Michelle had mentioned the game might be a tantalizing game for meeting boys. Currently her and James were quite near each other and given recent...events...she was nervous realizing their position. Luckily, her rear wasn't in his face so it wasn't the worse possible outcome, but given the lack of space he had to reach over her in order to place his hand on a nearby color. She couldn't see his face but she could feel his chest sometimes brushing against her back as he struggled to keep distance.

But now, watching Orla, Erin was sure her cousin must be insane.

"No, Orla! No!" Erin cried out in a sharp tone, but kept it low to a whisper.

"Ach, it's the game, Erin. I ain't about to lose," Orla quipped as she tried to move her hand past James's legs to get the red dot.

"Oh, I can't hold it any longer!" Clare abruptly called out, crumpling to the side and trying to avoid Michelle's arm, but still shook the mat slightly. Michelle kept her spot, but Orla misjudged her extension and fell onto James. Concurrently he collapsed on Erin, trying his best to hold his chest off her but failing miserably.

"Oh, God, Erin, I'm sorry," he mumbled piteously, instantly trying to push up but also gently trying to move Orla from off his feet as she gathered herself.

"Aye, motherfuckers! I've won this round!" Michelle shouted, not keeping her voice down as the others hand and grinning from ear to ear. She laughed at Clare who was still laying on her back breathing heavy from the exercise and anxiety. Looking over she saw Orla frowning in disappointment, glancing back at the spinner.

"You all right, Erin?" James asked, finally up and reaching down to help Erin.

"Good, all good," she said, trying not to insult her friend. Good lord, but he had crushed her with his weight and she took in a deep breath. His face was bright as a tomato, eyes down much like a puppy and she patted his shoulder. "No worries. May be a good time to call it a night guys."

"Aye, since James couldn't keep it up," Michelle snickered at herself. James glared at her, the blush disappearing and his annoyance seeping into his features. Clare composed herself with a soft sigh as she sat up.

"I thought that's what happened with your last ride, Michelle?" James snapped and Michelle's smile melted into a snarl.

"Oh, hell no!" Michelle started, finger already pointed at him and hand on her hip.

"Not now. Everyone time to go home," Erin announced, standing between the two. "I'm not taking the rap if the baby wakes."

"Tsk. Fine," Michelle snapped, giving James dagger eyes to make certain he knew he'd get it once they were five feet from the door. He stuck his tongue out at her and followed behind Clare out the bedroom. At the door Orla and Erin waved at their crew departing into the winter evening. Michelle stopped glaring for a moment to wave whereas Clare smiled brightly at the duo. James was the last – whether through apprehension to face Michelle or preference in being the last to leave. He waved at the girls and smiled softly. Orla bound upstairs, ready to sleep and face another day of adventure. Erin waited to make sure the door was locked behind the group. As James closed the door and Erin stood nearby to lock it he hesitated.

"Eh? You alright James? I'm sure Michelle will be too cold to harass you on your way home," she said – though she couldn't be sure what would happen at home.

"Yeah...uh...goodnight, Erin," he said, his voice quiet and he looked at her again with a beaming smile that crinkled his eyes. His smiled slowly faded and at first she thought he was worried, his eyes focusing intently on her. But he smiled again a bit softer, looking away now.

"Goodnight, James," she said and froze. What the hell...had her voice been...breathy? He turned to wave, the new beaming smile on his face again before facing the whipping gusts. She waved once more and locked the door. Rushing upstairs her face flushed with burning heat, hopefully he hadn't noticed that weird sound she had made.

Finally, she could rest and for the first time in awhile she lay in bed without the unsettling anxiety that had plagued her for some days now. A new excitement had settled its lair within her breast, but took gratitude in the safe comfort she found nestled in her quilt.