Apologies for the delay in posting this. I got caught up in the bushfires here in Australia around New Years, stuck for several days in a town by the coast, surrounded by fires which had cut off the one road out, and with no power and no communication apart from the car radio. Even after safely returning home, I found it hard to write with all of this going on. The devastation is on an unbelievable scale, with lives lost, homes destroyed, 10 million hectares of bush burnt and over one million animals dead so far. It is heartbreaking. And still our leaders do little more than pay lip service to climate change.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what is the final chapter of this story for now. Apologies for any mistakes. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows.

…

'Would you say your powerless to prevent Detective Barber's death compelled you to switch places with Angie.' Doctor Helger, the police department psychiatrist, looked over the top of her glasses at Gail. It wasn't a penetrating gaze exactly. Doctor Helgar—'but please call me Cynthia'—was too subtle for that. Still it made Gail feel as though the psychiatrist could see right into her head, and she realised she couldn't wriggle out of this one. It didn't stop her trying.

'Compelled, that's a strong word,' she hedged.

'Is it?' Cynthia quirked an eyebrow ever so slightly. She lent back in her easy chair, seemingly completely relaxed like she was sunning herself by a pool. It was as though she had all the time in the world to wait for Gail to respond, when in fact their session was due to end in seven minutes.

Not that Gail was counting (well maybe a bit, okay a lot) but Cynthia had placed a clock on the bookcase behind her chair directly in Gail's line of sight. How Cynthia, who didn't wear a watch and had her back to the clock, managed to figure out when to wind up the session was a mystery to Gail.

'Um, sorry what,' Gail said, pretending she'd lost track of the conversation.

'I was asking if Detective Barber's death influenced your actions?' Despite her placid tone, it was clear Cynthia saw right through Gail's obfuscation.

'It was on my mind yes but then so were a billion other things.'

'A billion?' Cynthia smiled. She didn't seem so formidable when she did that. If anything it was this, rather than some of her sceptical looks (perhaps better described as cut the bullshit looks) that caused Gail to let her guard down.

'Holly too. Obviously. I didn't want to die before I had a chance to tell her how I felt.'

'So you thought about dying?'

'You always do when you go into a situation like that. It makes you more cautious.'

'So it's about self-preservation?'

'Yes, but it's also the reality.' She could see what the psychiatrist was doing. Nobody wants to work alongside a cop heedless to risk because they have a death wish, or decide to play the hero, or believe themselves invincible, or some combination of the three.

'So you don't hold yourself responsible for Detective Barber's death?'

Well, that was blunt. Gail didn't respond immediately and when she did she chose her words carefully. 'I will always wonder if I had done something differently whether Jerry might still be alive but I didn't kill him. Perick did. He's the one who is responsible.'

The psychiatrist also paused before speaking. 'I sense that's a new way of thinking for you.'

Gail bit her lip and gave a small nod.

'And did the hostage situation make you realise that?'

'To a degree. On the way to the scene Frankie kind of told me off for thinking I was partly to blame. Then when I was in the lobby with Baxter I realised we can only ever do our best to contain these guys. I didn't hand Baxter the gun and say take Angie hostage but I could use my training to get her out of that situation. And then Holly,' Gail hesitated.

'Yes,' Cynthia nodded encouragingly.

Holly had been gentle and understanding, but firm too so Gail had felt she must face her demons or at least this particular one. Undercover in Vancouver Gail had discovered there were monsters far worse than even Perick but she had locked that particular nightmare away for now.

'Holly suggested it was time to let go of the guilt. And if I didn't, well it was just another victory for Perick.' Holly hadn't said she was a victim but Gail took it as implied.

'And you agree with her?'

Gail blew out a breath. 'Yeah. Holly has made me see that the best way to repay Jerry, to honour him, is for me to try and live the best life I can. Which means I shouldn't let myself be paralysed by guilt or regrets.'

Cynthia didn't say anything but waited expectantly, as if she knew Gail had more to say.

'And I think,' Gail hesitated again and looked down at her lap. 'No, I believe that's what Jerry would have wanted, but I'll never forget what he did for me. And don't worry, I'm not going to randomly run into burning buildings to try and save people.' Gail gave a small self-deprecating smile

'Would you say saving Angie, in a sense, helped to even up the score?'

As Cynthia spoke the large hand on the clock reached twelve.

'And our time is up.' As Gail spoke she heard a ping, so quiet it would be easy to miss, come from the pocket of Cynthia's cardigan. It was probably a watch or some kind of timer. Somehow it was reassuring that Doctor Helger didn't have a freakish ability to sense when an hour had passed.

'Well, one good thing came out of this,' Gail said, thinking she should leave Cynthia with a least one morsel to chew over. 'I stopped being chicken about telling Holly how I felt about her.'

Holly was waiting downstairs in the lobby, and she greeted Gail with a wide, warm smile.

'All clear?' she asked.

'All clear,' Gail confirmed.

'I'm not sure if I should be happy or not,' Holly said as she took Gail's hand. It was said lightly but Gail knew Holly would always worry about her job. Not caring that they were at police headquarters and, it being lunchtime, the lobby was crowded with officers and department staff, Gail leant across and kissed Holly's cheek.

'I have three days before I'm back at work and my ribs are healed sooo…' Gail swung their hands between them.

'Sooo,' Holly mimicked, arching an eyebrow. 'What are you suggesting Peck?'

'A science documentary marathon,' Gail deadpanned, releasing Holly's hand,

'Well, you might be proposing a visit to the batting cages,' Holly teased.

'Yeah, because our last visit there was such a success,' Gail rolled her eyes.

'I had fun.'

'I almost got killed.'

'Exaggeration.'

'Hmph, even you admitted it might just kill me. No, this activity involves—.' Gail dragged out the final word and paused.

'Involves what?' Holly's lips curved into a smile.

Gail leaned forward again but this time to whisper in Holly's ear. 'Being very, very naked,' she said, her voice low.

In the six weeks since Gail had been shot, Holly had insisted they avoid doing anything to jeopardise the healing process, quickly putting on the brakes when kissing led to wandering hands, leaving Gail feeling as though she was in an almost constant state of arousal. From some of the looks Holly had been giving her, she was certain Holly felt the same way.

Now Holly's eyes widened slightly.

'Think your boss will give you a few days off at short notice?'

'I'll call in sick if I have to,' Holly said and Gail laughed. 'Oh shit was that too eager.'

'I think we're way beyond playing it cool Holly Stewart,' Gail grinned. 'So what'd ya say to a celebratory fu—.' Before Gail could finish speaking Holly clamped a hand across her mouth. Only then, when she had very nearly reached them, did Gail notice Elaine Peck striding purposefully across the lobby in their direction, a heat seeking missile with no intention of aborting its mission.

'Man, my mother's timing sucks,' Gail sighed.

….

Six weeks previously

When Gail woke she was alone in a hospital room. At least she thought it was a hospital room. The bed had plastic guard rails which had been locked in place and the sheets were heavy and starched. She was half sitting, supported by a number of pillows.

Various monitors were grouped around the top end of the bed but none were attached to her. That was a good sign. Clearly not on life support, Gail thought sardonically. The pain in her side hadn't subsided, but the edge had been taken off, probably by a heavy dose of pain killers if the wooziness in her head was anything to go by.

The room itself was overly bright, almost blindingly so and Gail had a fleeting notion that she might have died and this was the white light that heralded the crossover to heaven as you shuffled off this mortal coil. Ha heaven! Gail was sure there was a special place reserved for her in hell. Then again maybe saving Angie had made that fate a little less certain. Not that Gail believed in the afterlife. One of the paramedics had told her she was a hero but she didn't feel much like one.

'Ah, you're awake. How are you feeling?' The voice was brisk but friendly. Suddenly a nurse was there by the bed, smiling at Gail.

Okay hospital then, not the gateway to heaven or hell.

Gail screwed up her face. Now that she was properly awake she became aware of a horrible pounding in her head.

'Like I've drunk a bottle of tequila and have no memory of crawling home.'

The nurse laughed, a light breezy sound, and Gail got the sense she was humouring her. 'How about we get you sitting up a little more.'

Gail started to nod but found even the smallest movement hurt her head. 'What happened to me?'

Now the nurse looked worried. 'You don't remember?'

'Not that,' Gail started to flap her hand dismissively, but that action hurt her ribs. 'What's the damage?' She pointed to herself.

'Oh,' the nurse looked relieved. 'Three cracked ribs, a laceration to your head that required stitches and concussion.'

'I'd prefer a hangover.'

The nurse laughed again.

'I'm afraid we had to shave around the laceration in order to suture it.'

Ignoring the pain in her ribs, Gail reached up to feel the area but the nurse shook her head.

'Probably best not to touch it.'

'Oh,' Gail dropped her hand. 'What time is it?'

'Early. The sun's just come up. The night staff must have forgotten to shut the blind,' the nurse tsked as she moved over to the window and released the blind cord. 'You need to be in a darkened room for the next few days. You hungry?'

Gail started to shake her head but then remembered it would hurt. 'No,' she said and then added, 'thanks.'

'Probably a good thing. Breakfast isn't for another two hours but if you change your mind I can probably find something for you to eat.'

Gail fell into a fitful sleep after that, punctuated by snatches of the previous 24 hours. Although, given she was on painkillers, there was a good chance she was simply hallucinating. She had a memory of Oliver telling the paramedics to back off, insisting Holly was Gail's girlfriend and what's more a doctor and so should ride with Gail to the hospital.

Once safely stowed in the ambulance, Gail had looked up at Holly and whispered, with something akin to awe, 'are you my girlfriend?'

Except she wasn't as quiet as she imagined, and Holly looked around a little guiltily at the paramedics who stared right back. Then Holly lent over Gail, squeezed her hand and said, 'of course.' She added a little teasingly, like this was a well worn routine, 'don't tell me you've forgotten already.'

One of the paramedics muttered something to his colleague and Gail was sure she heard the word amnesia.

'Just checking,' she grinned at Holly, not completely following what was going on but sensing Holly might be in trouble if she didn't play along. Gail's ribs were killing her, but having Holly by her side and holding her hand somehow made it bearable. The paramedics had been apologetic but they couldn't give her painkillers, at least not until she had a head CT scan.

'Did I hurt my head?' Gail remembered being propelled back against the wall by the force of the shot, and then blacking out, but she thought that was because of the pain in her side where the bullet hit her vest.

'You took a blow to the head. Split it open at the back,' one of the paramedics explained.

Zero for bedside manner, Gail decided. She reached up to touch the top of her head and realised it was bandaged. Holly looked pained but it was unclear whether because of her injury or the paramedic's plain speaking.

Holly had to let go of Gail's hand when the ER doctor examined her and again when Gail was taken away for the head scan. Each time Gail immediately felt Holly's absence. Just as the scans were done, a neurologist appeared. Someone who Holly seemed to know and who, from what was said, Gail suspected may have been sent by Lisa. He and Holly poured over the scans but were satisfied nothing was amiss.

Gail saw the Commissioner as she was being wheeled to her room. By then she'd had a dose of oxycodone.

'Look it's the Commish,' Gail excitedly pointed out to Holly. 'Ritchie! Commissioner Ritchie,' she called out as he approached, 'what brings you here? You're not sick are you? Oh shit, is that too personal? Can I ask that?' she turned to Holly.

'I think Ritchie is here to see you,' Holly smiled.

'Me?!' Gail did a double take and then shook her head vigorously. 'Let me tell you something Ritchie,' she lowered her voice and looked around to see if anyone was listening. Catching sight of the orderly pushing her wheelchair, she said, 'you, block your ears.'

'Umm,' the orderly said doubtfully.

'Better do as Gail says,' Ritchie suggested good-naturedly. 'She's a police officer.'

'And this here,' Gail indicated Ritchie, 'is the tipiest tip top of the top brass. Like the star on the Christmas tree or the pinnacle of a mountain, the apex on a triangle or—' Gail frowned with concentration as she struggled to think of other suitable analogies.

'I think he gets it,' Holly said gently.

'Okay but no eavesdropping.' Gail did her best to glare at the orderly before turning back to Ritchie. 'The thing is,' her voice took on a conspiratorial tone, 'hospitals are full of germs. Millions, no billions of them. So if you don't have to be here run, run for your life.'

'I think I'll take my chances,' Ritchie grinned.

'Well, don't say I didn't warn you,' Gail waggled her finger. 'You could probably catch the bubonic plague in here.'

'These days the plague is treatable,' Holly said.

'Tell that to the 30 million people killed by the Black Death.'

The orderly sniggered and Gail whipped her head back around.

'It's true. In the 14th century the plague wiped out at least a quarter of Europe's population.' Gail narrowed her eyes. 'Wait a minute, you weren't supposed to be listening.' She seemed hurt, rather than belligerent, as though the orderly had betrayed her trust.

'Honey,' Holly took hold of her hand, 'that's not exactly a state secret.'

Instead of objecting, Gail smiled goofily at Holly. She liked it when Holly held her hand. It made her forget about everything else.

'I'm glad to see you two are doing okay,' Ritchie said.

'Wait,' Gail whipped her head around again, this time to face Ritchie. 'I was told you were discrete. You weren't meant to tell Holly that!'

'Tell her what?' Ritchie was genuinely puzzled.

'You know, that she is the love of my life.'

'I think that cat is well and truly out of the bag,' Holly smiled.

'The cat wasn't in the bag,' Gail screwed up her face, 'the cat was up the tree. And anyhow the cat got down from the tree.'

'Uh okay,' Holly looked as though she was doing her best to decipher Gail's meaning, although the corner of her lips quirked as though she was amused.

'Holly, you usually keep up,' Gail frowned. 'Did Ritchie tell you? I won't be mad. Well maybe only a little and probably just with him.'

Gail tried to sound casual,1 like she wasn't accusing Holly or the Commissioner of anything. Although if Holly had known why hadn't she said anything? Maybe Holly didn't feel the same way, but given she hadn't left Gail's side since the shooting, Gail was inclined to believe she did. But what if…oh shut up brain, Gail told herself sternly, as every new doubt made things less clear.

It was always like this on oxy. It made Gail feel at once sharp, as though she were operating at a level of heightened consciousness, and utterly fuzzy like someone had dumped a bag of wet cement in her head.

'Tell me what?' Holly asked, her tone extremely gentle. She crouched down so she was at eye level, and then reached out to caress one side of Gail's face.

The touch was featherlight but Gail relaxed into, not unlike a cat softly butting against the hand that strokes it, and like a cat she didn't exactly purr but felt reassured and loved. Yes loved. In that moment her fears receded, and she pictured the backwash of a wave drawing away from the shoreline, across sand and shell grit and sea polished pebbles, to finally join the great mass of ocean.

'Did Ritchie tell you about the cat,' Gail murmured as Holly removed her hand.

'He never mentioned any cats,' Holly began tentatively.

'Oh,' Ritchie seemed to catch on, 'I didn't break your confidence Gail.'

She considered that and after a moment said happily, 'okay.'

'I may have encouraged Holly not to give up hope,' Ritchie smiled, 'based on what you told me.'

'Wait, you knew how Gail felt about me?' Holly looked up at Ritchie, clearly trying not to appear reproachful, 'and you didn't say anything?'

'He's discrete,' Gail pointed out, 'you said so yourself.

Ritchie laughed.

'And you had hopes?' Gail asked Holly in a way that was both shy and delighted. She couldn't stop the grin spilling across her face.

'Oh believe me, I had a lot of hopes.' From the way Holly was looking at her, Gail was sure she might have kissed her had they been alone. And Gail may have grinned even harder had she not at the very moment heard her mother down by the nurses' station asking after for directions to her room.

'The hospital administrator is a personal friend. He assured me my daughter is to have a private room.' As usual Elaine's voice was loud and imperious and it carried down the corridor.

'Uh oh buzzkill,' Gail said and turned back to the orderly, 'Fifty bucks if you can get us out of here before that woman sees us.'

Of course that didn't happen. It transpired they were now outside Gail's room so the orderly wheeled her in, and then he and Holly helped Gail into bed. Ritchie hung back in the corridor, suddenly awkward, and Gail became conscious of her hospital gown, which was too large and gaped at the back as all hospital gowns do.

'Chloe has gone to your apartment to get pyjamas,' Holly murmured as she straightened a pillow behind Gail's head, 'she said she had a key.'

Gail nodded. When she bought the apartment, she decided someone other than herself should be able to access the place. What if she choked on a cheese puff and nobody found her body for weeks? At least Chloe might come looking if she had a key. Of course, on handing over the key, Gail had to firmly discourage Chloe from thinking they were besties or something.

Once she was settled in the bed, propped upright by various pillows which Holly said was the best position given her cracked ribs, Gail saw that Ritchie was blocking the doorway. He had his back to the room but Gail caught sight of her mother just beyond him.

'Commissioner,' It was Elaine's fake voice, though even in her drugged state Gail could detect the note of surprise. Elaine most definitely would not have expected to see Ritchie here.

'Really, I mean it,' Gail turned frantically to the orderly, 'get us out of here. Surely there's a back door.'

'It's a hospital room,' the orderly said dourly, clearly in no mood to indulge Gail.

'I think we're done for,' Gail reached for Holly's hand and clutched it to her chest.

Holly smiled, 'I reckon we can weather this storm,' she said.

'Tornado more like,' Gail muttered as Elaine and Ritchie's conversation filtered in from the corridor .

'There will be an investigation of course,' Elaine said in a tone that was hushed but somehow not quiet.

'Naturally,' Ritchie said, 'it's protocol.'

'And I don't expect you to extend any favours to Gail just because she's a Peck. If she did the wrong thing, she should face the consequences.'

'I don't think it's a question of,' Ritchie started to say but was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor.

After the doctor left, Gail fell asleep. Elaine had been bustling about the room with an air of efficiency, even though as far as Gail could tell she wasn't actually achieving anything. Gail decided it might be easier to shut her eyes.

Elaine then started shooing people out of the room. By that stage Oliver and Frankie had shown up, as well as Chloe with pyjamas (Elaine had seemed rather surprised that this consisted of boxers and a t-shirt) and some toiletries (Gail hoped Chloe hadn't spent too much time rifling through her apartment).

When Elaine said, 'Holly dear, I think I can take it from here', Gail's eyes flew open.

'Holly stays,' she said so adamantly that her mother acquiesced. Elaine's displeasure was only apparent in a brief twist of her mouth, but Gail wasn't sure whether this was from habit or genuine annoyance. Her mother was not known for making allowances, so Gail guessed it was probably Ritchie's presence, rather than her injuries or any trauma she may have gone through, that made Elaine back down.

When Gail woke again a few hours later she was groggy and disorientated and it took her a moment to register where she was. She wasn't sure if she imagined it, but her mother was leaning over her with a grave expression, saying 'you brave foolish girl.' Gail felt a tear—just a solitary one—splash upon her cheek. Elaine stepped back, and Bill, who had barely spoken to Gail since Steve went to prison, kissed her on the forehead and squeezed her hand.

Gail felt her eyes flutter and next thing she knew Holly was gently shaking her awake from a nightmare. Perick had been taunting her, saying she might have saved Angie but Jerry was still dead and that was all her fault. 'You're going to live with that forever,' he said, drawing out the last word so he could savour it like some delicious morsel on his tongue. Perick's laugh was so merciless that even when Gail opened her eyes to see Holly peering at her through the nighttime gloom it seemed to reverberate around the room.

'You don't have to stay,' Gail said as Holly helped her to sit up some more so she could drink some water.

'I want to,' Holly said and then smiled mischievously, 'after all I am your girlfriend.'

'Are you?' Gail brightened.

'Is that what you want?'

'I have hopes,' Gail said, echoing Holly's words of earlier.

The next nightmare was worse. Not Perick this time but the little blonde boy, no more than five years old, being led away. Gail couldn't do anything. The raid was three hours away and if she had intervened months of the task force's work, of painstakingly gathering information and of meticulous planning, would be for nothing. The traffickers, here in Canada and over in Russia, would melt away, only to resume business once the dust settled.

Up until that day, it had been teenage girls, mainly Eastern European. The little boy had chatted brightly to Gail in Russian. He thought he was on his way to see his aunty. After Sergei left with him, Gail had bolted to the bathroom and thrown up until the bile burned her throat. 'Must have been something I ate,' she told Mikel, Sergei's witless brother. They didn't find the little boy during the bust or afterwards. By then Sergei was dead and Mikel denied any knowledge of the child.

Gail didn't register that she was crying soundlessly until Holly brushed the tears away with her fingertips and kissed her forehead. 'It's okay,' she soothed, 'you're safe.'

Gail wanted to tell her it wasn't her own safety she was concerned about but the story of the little boy and her inability to protect him sat heavily in her heart. She wasn't even certain she knew how to tell it.

Maybe Holly sensed something of this because the next thing she lowered the guard rails on the bed and, removing some of the pillows propping Gail up, slid in alongside so her body cushioned Gail.

She must have slept fairly soundly after that because she had no other memory—real or imagined—of the night. Now Gail woke for a second time that morning to the sound of the breakfast trolley coming down the corridor and the cheery greetings of the staff delivering the meals which somehow always managed to smell like overcooked cabbage.

There was no sign of Holly or that she had in fact been there. The nurse from earlier came into the room bearing an enormous bunch of flowers that nearly obscured her face.

'You must have an admirer,' the nurse said, frowning a little as she realised the flowers were too large to sit on the bedside table. 'I'll pop these on the floor for now. Do you want me to read the card?'

Gail nodded (and was relieved her head didn't hurt so much anymore). Holly definitely wouldn't have sent them. She didn't like shop bought flowers and Elaine would never order anything so ostentatious.

'I owe you. Thank you. Lisa,' the nurse read out.

'Take them away,' Gail flapped her hand. 'Throw them out.'

'But they're beautiful,' the nurse protested, 'and would have cost a pretty penny.'

'Give them to a patient with no family or friends then. Or you keep them but just get them out of here.'

The nurse huffed a little but did as asked, almost colliding with Frankie on her way out.

'Aren't those going the wrong way?' Frankie jerked her thumb in the direction of the disappearing flowers.

'They're from Lisa.' Gail made a face.

'Oh god, she has been calling me and Holly but Holly won't pick up. Angie won't speak to her either.'

'Not surprising,' Gail said but for some reason it didn't give her any satisfaction that Lisa was on the outer. 'Was Holly here last night?'

'Yeah,' Frankie regarded Gail like she was an idiot. 'All night. I think it's the kind of thing people do when someone declares their undying love for you.'

'I guess you heard that.' If Gail wasn't propped up by so many pillows she would have slumped down into the bed. Instead, she just had to squirm internally.

'And not just me. All of ETF and Oliver and I believe Holly who was standing next to him at the time because Lisa insisted they go to the apartment.'

'Oh.' Now Gail wished a hole would open up in the floor and swallow her.

'Holly went home to grab a shower and a couple of hours sleep before you woke up. And she only agreed to do that because I offered to watch over you while she was gone.'

'Watch over me,' Gail curled her lip, 'I'm not a baby.' It was easier to latch onto this than let Frankie see how ridiculously happy she felt knowing Holly had indeed been by her side. So happy in fact it eclipsed her embarrassment at the news that pracically half of Toronto knew how she felt about Holly.

'Should I be worried you've forgotten about Holly?'

'Forgotten about me?' came a voice from the doorway, and there stood Holly, with a playful smile, looking gorgeous and freshly scrubbed and only a little bit tired.

'Never,' Gail beamed, not caring anymore what Frankie thought. Holly grinned back. It was only as Holly advanced towards the bed that Gail saw she was carrying a cardboard tray with three cups of coffee. 'You got coffee! No wonder I love you,' Gail blurted out and then reddened. She and Holly hadn't had a chance to talk about Gail's confession, however if anything Holly looked amused.

Frankie coughed and shifted n her chair. 'Perhaps I should—'

She didn't get a chance to finish as Dov, Chris and Chloe not so much walked but rather tumbled into the room all at once, pushing and grabbing at one another like hyperactive children. Chris was holding a smiley face balloon with the words 'get well soon' emblazoned across it. Gail would bet money Chloe had bought it from the shop on the ground floor.

Almost as soon as they appeared, the trio retreated, squeezing back through the door as one, balloon and all. It was like watching a film on rewind. Gail started to laugh at their idiocy, expecting them to reappear. However, instead of her three friends, Elaine stood in the doorway. She was looking not at Gail but back over her shoulder.

'Come in,' she barked, 'I won't bite.' There came the sound of loud whispers in the corridor. Elaine arched an eyebrow and turned to the three women in the room. 'Are they frightened of me?' she asked, spreading her arms to indicate how incomprehensible she found this.

'Um, of course not,' Gail fudged, not wanting to rat out her friends. 'You're a real pussy cat mom,' she added.

Elaine opened her mouth to retort but was prevented when Chris very nearly collided with her as he was propelled into the room. He came in with such force Gail imagined Dov and Chloe must have pushed him in. Chris grabbed Elaine around the waist to steady both himself and her and then just as quickly dropped his hands as if she were on fire. He blushed and had started to mumble an incoherent apology when Dov and Chloe scuttled into the room.

Even though it hurt her ribs, Gail couldn't stop herself from laughing.

Elaine narrowed her eyes at the trio who stood with downcast eyes. 'Hmph,' she said after a moment, and only then did the three dare look up. 'The three stooges I presume?'

'Toronto's finest,' Frankie sniggered.

Chris reddened again. Dov's eyes widened and Chloe looked like the teacher's pet wrongly accused of a misdemeanour and not certain whether to be chastened or indignant. The two warring emotions made her expression somewhat defiant, an impression not helped by the fact that she was standing with feet placed firmly apart and a hand on one hip. She went to say something but thought better of it.

'Yes?' Elaine may have even tapped her foot.

Chloe gave a small shake of her head.

'Okay then,' Elaine said, 'I may as well tell all of you to save repeating myself. I've spoken to the doctor and Gail is to be discharged today. The doctor will stop by to give Gail a final check but then—"

'That's excellent news,' Chloe squealed and clapped her hands.

Elaine's eyes literally boggled. She started to draw herself up, which Gail knew was not a good sign.

'Thank god. I don't think I could have lasted another minute in here,' Gail said, hoping the whine in her voice would distract Elaine enough that she wouldn't unleash on Chloe.

'Gail,' Elaine remonstrated.

'We've set up our spare room for you Gail,' Chloe said before Elaine could continue. 'Between Dov, Chris and I, we can make sure someone's with you at all times. Or if you prefer to go back to your apartment, we could take shifts.'

'That won't be necessary,' Elaine cut in, 'I have engaged nursing staff through an agency who will provide round the clock care. Your old room has been readied and your father will be here shortly to help take you home. I believe,' she looked pointedly at Chloe, 'this offers the best care regime for Gail's recovery.'

'Mom,' Gail protested, 'I just need to rest up. I don't need nurses for that.'

'I don't know, depends on the nurses,' Frankie said.

Gail glared at Frankie. She could have at least said something to help Gail out. No way she was spending six weeks at Fortress Peck fussed over by strangers, and even though Chloe was well intentioned, one week with her was bound to end very badly.

'Don't look at me. I'm not playing nursemaid,' Frankie said, 'no, you need someone far more qualified.' Smirking, she cut her eyes sideways to Holly.

It was only then that Gail looked at Holly properly. It seemed Holly wanted to say something but was holding back. Gail decided to take a punt.

'I'm staying with Holly,' she said.

Holly smiled, a beautiful lop-sided smile and Gail might have got quite lost in it but for Dov interrupting.

'Holly?' he echoed dumbly. 'But she's—'

'My girlfriend, knucklehead.'

'But—,' Dov may have continued if Chloe hadn't elbowed him in the ribs.

'That's settled then,' Elaine said crisply, as though they had all arrived at a satisfactory agreement. Gail could have sworn Elaine and Chloe exchanged a meaningful look.

'Wait, mom you were you in on this too,' she accused

'In on what?' Elaine tried to seem vague.

'You know exactly what. All of you have been conspiring to get me and Holly back together.'

'Well, somebody needed to give you two a push,' Elaine flapped her hand about dismissively in much the same way Gail often did. 'Now Holly, let me know what I can do to help you. Gail is not an easy patient.'

'But, but at your party you were trying to set Holly up. And you invited a bunch of my exes—' Gail began to protest.

'All part of the plan,' Elaine said smugly, no longer bothering to deny she had played a part in the scheme. 'Though I must say Detective Price and I had a hell of a time tracking down the waitress.'

'So they were in on it too!' Gail was finding it hard to tamp down her outrage.

Frankie put her hand up. 'I may have acted drunker than I was.'

'So you knew!' Gail glared at Frankie.

'But not the other exes. We just arranged for them to be there,' Chloe said. 'And hoped things would run their natural course.'

'Natural course! Holly probably thought I'd spent the last three years screwing every available woman and had no interest, no interest—'

'Yes Gail,' Elaine asked with a quirked eyebrow.

'No interest in her,' Gail mumbled. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Holly smirking.

'Well, at least the ring master from the circus didn't show,' Elaine chuckled, actually chuckled.

'Ringmaster?' Now it was Holly who raised an eyebrow. If anything, she too seemed to find the unfolding drama entertaining.

'Trapeze artist,' Gail shook her head impatiently. 'How many times have I told you that mother.'

'Chloe got the impression you quite broke the poor girl's heart,' Elaine smiled.

'You know I always wondered what she was like in the sack, being an acrobat and all,' Frankie said almost whimsically.

'Oh my god,' Gail annunciated each word. 'That's it. I disown you all.'

'All?' Holly asked. She was smirking again because she knew damn well Gail wasn't referring to her.

'No, just this bunch of interfering, overstepping—'

'I told you she wouldn't take it well,' Dov interrupted.

'For the record Gail,' Chris stammered. 'I only found out a couple of days ago.'

'Was everyone in on this,' Gail huffed. 'Tracie?

Chloe nodded.

'Ollie?'

Chloe nodded again.

'Not Ritchie?'

'Who?' Chloe was confused.

'The Commissioner,' Elaine explained. 'Gail, what have I told you about using people's correct titles?'

'That I should,' Gail replied, and then added as if it was an afterthought, 'superintendent.' She could have sworn she heard Holly snigger. Then a thought occurred to her. 'Wait, mother did you put these losers up to this?'.

Elaine shifted slightly, moving her neck as if her collar was too tight. 'Detective Price and I ran into each other at the station just before Dr Stewart's return to Toronto. It seemed we were both of the same mind in thinking you might need a little push if you will.'

'So basically you all conspired against me and Holly. You didn't believe that we, two grown women, could work this out for ourselves?'

Elaine looked across at Chloe and as one they both said, 'Ah no.'

Before Gail could respond (and by now she was really ready to let fly), Holly squeezed her hand. 'Honey, they may have a point,' she said. Gail opened her mouth, then shut it again, not willing to concede just yet but at the same time realising she didn't actually care because Holly was holding her hand and smiling at her like she was the only thing that mattered in the entire world.

It was only when Elaine cleared her throat that Gail realised she had been gazing at Holly, probably smiling goofily, for quite some time.

'We would have worked it out eventually,' she said.

'Next century,' came Chloe's unexpected retort. That was plain mean—wasn't Chloe meant to be a Disney Princess, Gail thought sullenly. Elaine laughed again. A genuine even giddy laugh like she was enjoying the whole spectacle. Gail was gearing herself up to verbally slay them both (although strangely for once a cutting put down did not immediately spring to mind) when the doctor arrived.

Much later, after she had been discharged and waved off everyone as they tried to fuss over her (with the exception of Frankie who appeared to find her discomfort amusing), Gail found herself seated on Holly's couch drinking lemon and ginger tea.

'It's very refreshing,' Holly had reassured as she plopped down next to Gail, and Gail had to admit she was right.

'Sooo,' Gail said after a moment.

'Yes?' Holly placed her cup on the coffee table, suddenly nervous. 'You know I won't hold you to anything. Put it down to the situation. I mean near death experiences tend to make people say all sorts of crazy things and I know it's far too early for us to be making grand pronouncements and we probably need to date and work out what direction we're heading and—'

'Holly,' Gail interrupted, saying her name quite sternly but then continuing in a lighter tone. 'Half of Toronto heard my confession. It's not like I can take it back,' Gail shrugged now.'

"Well, the ETF now call me Peck's girl,' Holly smiled and Gail got the impression she quite like this epithet. 'But—'

'Holly, i meant every word,' Gail interrupted again before Holly gave into any more doubts. 'I knew almost from the start. At some level I probably knew the moment I met you. I should have told you before you left for San Francisco. Hell, I should have told you before you introduced me to Lisa and Rachel. And I wish it hadn't taken a crazed gunman to make me say it.'

'Yes.' Holly held her breath.

'I don't want to fuck things up and if you want to take it slow and see if things work out, then fine I'll go with that, but you Holly Stewart are the love of my life.'

Holly didn't answer but shifted across so she could kiss Gail. Just a sweet press of her lips against Gail's and then she was drawing back until Gail bunched a handful of her shirt to pull her in again. The kiss was slow at first, a reacquaintance and a confirmation, but then it gathered in fervour. Without thinking Gail twisted her body to be closer to Holly and then hissed as a sharp pain shot through her.

'Oh,' Holly jumped back, 'your ribs. Maybe kissing isn't such a good idea. I mean you could—'

'Holly,' Gail pouted, 'It's a perfectly excellent idea. We can be careful.'

Holly didn't look convinced and remained where she was. 'You know,' she looked down at her hands which were now in her lap. 'I came back for you. I mean the job was a huge draw card and I missed my friends and I missed Toronto but mainly I missed you.'

'Yeah,' Gail was grinning so hard it almost hurt.

'And I spent three years trying to move on, and every time I went on a date I'd find myself comparing them to you until finally I gave up on dates altogether.'

Gail scrunched up her face.

'What is it?' Holly, for a moment thinking Gail was in pain.

'Apart from the fact that you're not kissing me?'

'Apart from that,' Holly smirked.

'Do I really have to hear about your dates?'

'At least I'm not parading them in front of you.'

'That was Elaine and Chloe's fault. I had nothing to do with it,' Gail protested.

'I know,' Holly reached across and took Gail's hand. 'Let me finish okay?'

'Then will you kiss me?'

'Possibly.'

'Hmph.' Gail would have crossed her arms if she wasn't worried she'd jar her ribs again. Instead she contented herself with pouting.

'You are too adorable,' Holly grinned and, relenting, leant over to kiss Gail. It was another brief kiss but enough to placate Gail. She didn't even object to being called adorable.

'So, you were saying,' Gail prompted as Holly dew back. She liked the fact that Holly had a slightly dazed expression, although she suspected she probably looked the same. She made a show of giving Holly her undivided attention, although in truth Holly already had it.

'Uh,' Holly made an effort to collect her thoughts. She took a deep breath and pushed back her glasses.'Okay. I tried to forget about you. I tried to move on but nothing worked. I've never felt that way about anyone. Sure people have broken my heart, but it didn't take long for me to pick up the pieces and move on. I'd even wonder what I had seen in that ex.'

'All dumbasses, everyone of them,' Gail interrupted.

Holly scoffed and then continued. 'Anyway, I had this idea of myself as self-sufficient, that I didn't need a relationship to sustain or complete me, and while relationships could be fun, I was also okay on my own. I had my job, which I loved. Lisa and Rachel used to tease me about being married to work, then you walked into my crime scene—'

'My crime scene—'

Holly rolled her eyes.'Whatever. After that nothing was the same again. In San Francisco, I'd be in the middle of doing something, it could be the most trivial thing or vitally important, and all of a sudden I'd think of you. Sometimes it was enough to literally knock the wind out of me. And then the job came up back here and I thought what the hell, because I didn't want to end up a sad, sorry woman who threw away the most wonderful person she's ever met,' Holly paused and gave Gail one her lop-sided smiles.

'I'm not sure you should be quoting me back to me,' Gail sassed. Partly it was to buy time. Holly's revelation, though not unexpected, overwhelmed her. Not in a bad way. No, it was the largeness of it all. Gail felt full to the brim with happiness and something else intangible that was very like excitement but with a measure of disbelief and gratitude at her sheer dumb luck that Holly felt this way about her. 'And you know I'm not that wonderful,' she added.

'Hey, don't say that about the woman I love,' Holly sassed right back.

That made Gail stop and her eyes go wide. 'You love me?' It was said hesitantly.

'I thought that was obvious.'

'Only to you nerd.' Now Gail was grinning again. 'Why did you wait so long to tell me?'

'Why did you?' Holly countered.

'Paranoia, fear of rejection I guess.' Gail shrugged, 'and you were giving very mixed signals.'

'Me!' Holly exclaimed. 'As soon as you laid eyes on me at your mother's party you ran away and hid from me.'

'You noticed that huh?'

'Yep.'

'But then I ran after you when you left.' Gail pointed out.

'That gave me hope,' Holly admitted, 'until I saw you at the crime scene the next morning and convinced myself you'd gone home with Frankie.'

'Uggh,' Gail shook her head in disgust at the thought.

'Well, you two had history.'

'Let's not talk about that right now.'

Holly laughed. 'Frankie seems okay.'

Gail looked skeptical.

'As a friend,' Holly added hastily and they both laughed. 'Though that night when Oliver drove everyone home from the Penny and Frankie was basically yelling at you to score weirded me out.'

'Is that why you jumped back?'

'Partly. We were drunk and it suddenly didn't seem like a good idea to just fall into bed. And I wasn't completely sure you felt the same way.'

'Holly, I practically couldn't keep my hands off you all night.'

'And that only started because you were pretending to be my girlfriend so Jen Luck would leave me alone.'

'It was a convenient excuse,' Gail grinned wolfishly and Holly swatted her lightly on the arm. 'Hey, I am an injured person,' Gail protested.

'If you don't like it here, I can call Elaine or Chloe to come fetch you,' Holly teased.

Gail rolled her eyes and said, 'No need to threaten me. I'll be good.'

Instead of coming up with a smart retort, Holly suddenly looked serious. She picked at a loose thread on the hem of her shirt and then looked back up at Gail. 'I should have known you'd never misuse your position to harass Lisa,' She made an apologetic face.

'What made you change your mind about that?'

'Ritchie pointed out that you weren't the kind of person to act like that and he was right of course. And he suggested you treated me the way you did when you and Frankie showed up at Lisa's apartment because you were jealous.'

'Well, the four of you did look pretty cosy,' Gail said in her defence, noting she now had one more reason among a growing number to like Ritchie.

'Admit it Peck you were jealous.'

'Maybe,' Gail conceded with a huff.

'For the record I have zero interest in Sidney,' Holly tilted her head to one side, 'besides I've given my heart to a certain snarky cop.'And when it looked like you were applying for a job in Vancouver I knew I had to do something.'

Gail grinned again. She had forgotten how easy it could be with Holly. Nobody ever seemed to get her in the way Holly did—well, until Gail so spectacularly sabotaged their burgeoning relationship, leaving Holly hurt and bewildered and angry.

As the shadows on the street outside lengthened and the afternoon passed into a velvety twilight, Gail and Holly at last found themselves talking about that implosion. Holly had assumed Gail knew that for her the relationship was so much more than fun. After all, up until that night at the Penny, she believed all her actions had signalled just how much she cared for Gail. If anything Holly worried Gail might be scared off by the depth of her feeling and so didn't admit just how fast she was falling in love.

However, Holly hadn't appreciated how in the short time they were together Gail had allowed herself to be more vulnerable than with any previous lover. So hearing Holly describe the relationship as simply fun had not only made all the old wounds associated with past rejections resurface but had hurt Gail more deeply than she imagined possible. 'Flayed,' was how she described it and Holly nodded in understanding

And the more they talked, the more Gail and Holly realised that it was these shared hurts that lay behind the missteps and misunderstandings that had so very nearly derailed any prospect of them getting back together. 'I don't think I could go through that again,' Gail confessed, to which Holly added solemnly, 'me either.'

'Holly, this will probably sound stupid but when you left, in fact all the time you were in San Francisco, it was literally like I was walking around with a great big hole in my heart,' Gail said quietly.

'Same.'

'After Sophie's adoption fell through, all I wanted to do was go find you in San Francisco but then I worried you'd think I was only there because I couldn't have Sophie. And I decided you would have moved on and were sure to have a new girlfriend. And after everything I didn't think you'd want to see me, let alone take me back.'

'You don't know how many times I almost called you.' Holly sighed and made a rueful face.

'Are we idiots?'

'Probably.'

'We are never going to admit that to anyone,' Gail said.

'Never,' Holly laughed.

That night Gail started out in the guest bedroom but then the nightmares came. After that she moved into Holly's room.

'I'm not u-hauling,' she assured Holly, who just laughed at that.

After a few days, Holly returned to work so between them Chloe and Elaine drew up a roster that meant Gail had someone look in on her everyday.

'I'm not an invalid,' she complained but was secretly grateful for the company.

She had started the mandated therapy sessions with Doctor Helger so whoever happened to be at Holly's that day would drive Gail to the appointment. Elaine kept the house stocked with food—not cooked by her but a catering company made regular deliveries.

Ritchie came by a week later to tell Gail she'd been cleared by the IA investigation. In fact, the investigators said Gail should be commended for her actions, particularly given how level-headed she remained throughout the siege. Baxter had posted a manifesto of sorts online in which he swore to kill Lisa and 'take out any bitch who stands in my way.' His hatred seemed to be reserved for women in particular, not that he'd shown any remorse for killing Chet, the doorman.

'The investigators believe there could had been more loss of life had you not intervened,' Ritchie said. He started dropping by regularly, and Gail found it nearly as easy to talk to him as to Holly.

Elaine still didn't like it that Gail called him Ritchie. She kept correcting Gail until one evening Ritchie pointed out that he was practically family so it would be embarrassing if Gail addressed him by rank when they were off duty. Gail could practically see the gears shifting in Elaine's head. For Elaine, a family connection to the commissioner could only strengthen the Pecks' position on the force. She was probably already planning Gail and Holly's wedding to capitalise on just that.

Lisa showed up three weeks later. Gail was out in the back courtyard, half dozing and enjoying the weak rays of the autumn sun (at least at this time of year she didn't have to worry about being burnt to a crisp), when she sensed she wasn't alone. She opened her eyes to find Lisa clutching a six-pack of beer.

'Who let you in?' Gail asked, pleased she hadn't jumped out of her skin. In fact, Gail would bet Lisa hadn't even registered she was startled.

'Nice welcome,' Lisa said, 'I have a key.'

'Yeah? Holly know you're using it?'

At that Lisa looked uncomfortable. 'We're not speaking or at least Holly's not speaking to me but I guess you know that.'

Gail nodded slowly. 'So you thought you might use me as a conduit,' she said, not bothering to conceal the derision in her voice.

'No,' Lisa made a face. 'I wanted to—' She stopped and then held up the six pack. 'Beer?' she offered.

'You broke into Holly's house to offer me a beer?'

'No!' Lisa was indignant. 'And I didn't break in. This is hard for me Peck.'

Gail raised an eyebrow. Lisa waited a beat, clearly hoping Gail would help her out but Gail stared back at her impassively.

'Okay then,' Lisa took a deep breath. 'I guess you don't owe me anything.'

Gail wanted to laugh out loud and say 'you got that right' but she remained silent. Let Lisa squirm.

'I've been seeing a therapist. On my own and with Angie.'

Had Angie forgiven Lisa? That was news to Gail.

'She hasn't forgiven me,' Lisa continued, clearly guessing what Gail was thinking. 'But she agreed to couple's therapy. Well, she came to one session. It's a start anyway.'

Still Gail said nothing.

'I've never done that for anyone.'

What did Lisa expect Gail to do? Congratulate her. Give her a medal. Seeing a therapist was the least Lisa could do for Angie given what she'd put her through.

'And I'm not a fan of shrinks.'

Gail sighed loudly enough for Lisa to hear.

'Yes, well,' Lisa laughed nervously, 'you're probably wondering why I'm here.'

Gail shrugged. 'My guess is your therapist set me as homework.'

'Close but not exactly,' Lisa gave a hollow laugh. 'I don't need to pay $400 an hour to work out I've fucked up big time.'

'Yeah?' Gail was sceptical.

'And I owe you an apology. I underestimated you.'

Gail blinked. Now that was a surprise.

'Actually I probably owe you more than one apology.'

'Okay.'

'I should have taken your advice and moved out of the apartment while Baxter was on the loose. I didn't take you seriously.' Lisa hesitated. 'And I should never have made you promise not to tell Holly that I slept with Shannon and—'

Lisa stopped. She placed the six-pack on a little table next to Gail. 'And,' she repeated but got no further.

'And?' Gail prompted. She definitely wasn't going to make this easy for Lisa.

Lisa took a beer from the carton and started to determinedly strip the label from the bottle.

'And,' she said without looking up, 'I was an ass the night I first met you at the Penny. I shouldn't have got between you and Holly. But I'll admit it—I'm a snob and I didn't think you or your job amounted to much. I thought Holly was letting lust cloud her judgement.'

'Is that something Holly's in the habit of doing?' Gail asked, knowing it wasn't. Holly was usually level-headed, although Gail had come to realise that she, or at least her presence, was one thing that could discombobulate the good doctor. Though in fairness, it worked in the reverse as well.

'No,' Lisa shook her head, and looked up at Gail. 'I've never seen Holly so happy as she was with you or so miserable when you two split up.'

'I was the same,' Gail admitted quietly. The victory she should have felt at Lisa's admissions quashed by this memory.

'And what you did for Angie—well I can never repay that.'

'It's my job,' Gail shrugged, happy to be back on safer ground.

'And I'll probably never say this again but you are freaking awesome at it,' Lisa grinned then. 'Beer?' She held out a bottle.

'I'm still on pain meds.'

'Trust me, one beer won't hurt.'

Gail raised an eyebrow.

'I'm a doctor. I know these things.'

This was how Holly found them an hour later. Gail was nursing her second beer while Lisa had managed to down the other four in fairly quick succession. From the way she slurring her words, it was obvious she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

'What are you doing here?' Holly's voice was cold and her expression hard. She went to stand next to Gail, taking her hand. There was something protective about how she positioned herself, almost shielding Gail from Lisa.

'Lisa came to apologise,' Gail explained. Holly narrowed her eyes. 'Pretty much for everything.'

'It's going to be a long night then,' Holly said.

Gail laughed. She'd never really seen Holly in full bitch mode.

'I deserved that,' Lisa said, draining the very last of her fourth beer.

Holly ignored her, instead giving Gail her complete attention. 'Honey, I'm not sure drinking beer is a good idea, not while you're still on pain meds.' It was said gently and without a trace of reproach or criticism. Gail liked that about Holly, her ability to state a fact without being bossy or judgemental, so Gail didn't feel in the least pressured. Needless to say Holly was right most of the time, but Gail wasn't going to admit that.

'Lisa said it would be alright,' Gail grinned a touch evilly, knowing she had just put Lisa even deeper in the shit.

'There's a reason she went into plastics rather than general practice,' Holly said, not looking at Lisa.

'Holly's right about that,' Lisa laughed, 'I've got no patience for details or patients whining about an ingrown toenail or whatever.'

'Hey,' Gail admonished, 'one of my relatives died from an ingrown toenail. Well, sepsis brought on by an ingrown toenail.'

'Oh sorry,' Lisa said, not sounding in the least that way. 'They were probably treated by a doctor like me. Did you sue?'

'Nuh. He never sought medical help. Insisted he could treat it himself. He was a stubborn old goat.'

'I'm going to fix dinner,' Holly said.

'Very domesticated,' Lisa smirked.

'I was going to ask you to stay but—.'

'Okay, okay I'm being a bitch. Domesticity is good. Slutty Lisa is bad and the best thing to come out of this mess is that you two are back together.'

For the first time since she had arrived home, Holly looked at Lisa properly, scanning her face for any trace of insincerity. But there was none. Even Gail had to admit that.

'You can stay but I haven't forgiven you yet,' Holly said. Without waiting for a reply she went into the kitchen.

'Phew,' Lisa sat down heavily, her relief genuine.

'So you approve of me now,' Gail smiled sweetly.

'Don't push it Peck. But I promise I won't say anything against you as long as you treat Holly right. Now, has Holly got any stronger liquor?'

…..

Present day

As she drew level with the two women, Elaine gave a brisk nod of her head and said 'Gail' and then added 'Holly' as an afterthought. Her mouth was drawn in a tight line and there was something about her that suggested a singularity of purpose. Gail knew that look. It meant Elaine was here on business and for some reason that filled her with foreboding. But then again she often reacted to her mother that way.

'Hello mother,' she said. 'Fancy seeing you here.'

'I need a word,' Elaine replied, ignoring Gail's fatuousness, 'in private.'

'We were just leaving.' Gail was no mood to cooperate. The longer they lingered the longer she'd have to wait to be alone and hopefully very naked with Holly. In any case she suspected Elaine was trying to dragoon her into some unpleasant task (probably involving some ass kissing to 'advance' her career). 'Can't you just tell me what it's about.'

Elaine sighed heavily. 'I've just been speaking to the head of the trafficking taskforce. He thinks they've located the little boy and that Sergei is still alive. He wants you back undercover.'

…..

So this is where I will leave this story for now with the possibility of a sequel at some stage should readers be interested in one. Review and tell me what you think—I always love getting your reactions!