Inspired by Dark007arc.

Thank her/him for this monstrosity. :D

Once again, this was written really quickly, so any inconsistencies or plot holes are due to that.

XXX

Summary:

Naofumi tries his damndest to keep his dirty secret from his new acquaintances.

Enter drunk Motoyasu.

Naofumi remembered the first time he met L'Arc Berg and Therese Alexanderite.

As soon as he had introduced himself, the other man and his companion went into a fit of laughter and said that he couldn't possibly be who he was.

They then went on to drag his name through the mud as they recounted every single rumor, lie, and false charge that had been put onto him, genuinely believing each one.

It was quite possibly the best day of his life.

Holy shit, people who didn't know his embarrassing secret! He didn't know how the hell that was possible at this point, but screw it. He wasn't going to question it.

Of course, he made damn sure that it stayed that way. If they wanted to believe he was some no-name adventurer posing as the Shield Hero for some unnamed profit, then fine. Just as long as the image of the Shield Hero as some kind of evil asshole stayed intact. He realized the irony of the situation, having wanted nothing more than to clear his name before this whole mess, but he had enough of being treated like a goddamn glass statue by everyone he met.

Of course, he made extra sure that no one, especially the other heroes, spilled the beans. He did this, of course, by rounding them all up in a single room and threatening them with a Firo Kick if they so much as breathed in L'Arc and Therese's direction. Safe to say, they agreed.

But, all good things come to an end, as they say.

"Hey, you're one of Shield-Kiddo's friends, right?"

Motoyasu, completely drunk off his ass, looked up blearily to see a red blurr before him. "Muh? Field-Fido?"

L'Arc smiled a bit. Seeing the blonde like this was kind of funny, honestly. "You know, the guy who claims he's the Shield Hero?"

Motoyasu seemed to think for a long moment before his eyes lit up. "Oh! You mean Fumi-chan!"

The edge of L'Arc's mouth twitched as he tried to keep from breaking out into laughter. Fumi-chan? Oh, he was definitely gonna tease the kid about that one later. "Yeah, him."

"Yeah! We're, like, BFFs!" The blonde said happily, sitting up slightly from his previous position of leaning down over the table. "What about 'im?"

L'Arc arched an eyebrow. BFFs? He had no idea what that meant, but whatever. He sat down at the table with the other man. "I've got a question about him. I was hoping you could answer."

"Sure! I know *hic* all surts of stuffff about Fumi-chan!" Motoyasu slurred, a goofy grin on his face.

"Well, I was just wondering why he's posing as the Shield Hero?"

At this, Motoyasu blinked and tilted his head. "Waddya mean?"

L'Arc sighed and shook his head and looked off to the side, seeming troubled. "I mean, the kid's a good guy, I can tell. So why is he posing as the Shield Hero of all people? That guy's an absolute scumbag! He tried to rape a girl and committed crimes all over your entire kingdom! I just don't get it..."

Motoyasu frowned before his eyes widened in understanding. "Ooooh! Yeah, Fumi-chan got cleared of all that."

"..." L'Arc blinked and turned back to look at him. "Pardon?"

"Yeah! Didn't ya see tha trial? I thought the entire kingdom saww fhat..."

L'Arc's face turned serious and he leaned closer to the other man. "No...I didn't hear about that."

Motoyasu's eyes lit up once again and he suddenly reached somewhere behind him. "Oh! Oh! Dun worry! I got the whoooole thing recorded!"

"Recorded?" L'Arc asked as Motoyasu took out some kind of glass object. L'Arc recognized it. It was some kind of magic item that recorded past events. They were really rare, though. He wondered how he got it.

But the answer to that could wait. He looked intently at the object as Motoyasu started to activate it.

Could that kid be the real Shield Hero?

...He hoped to god he wasn't.

When Naofumi walked back into the bar a few minutes later, he was greeted by the sight lf Motoyasu holding that dreaded item and L'Arc laughing his ass off.

No.

It couldn't be.

L'Arc noticed him and turned to face him, his face red from laughing and tears rolling from his eyes. "YOU- YOU- YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT-! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And with that, he was gone, falling off his chair and clutching his stomach.

Naofumi stared at him expressionlessly for a long moment before turning to the spear hero. "Motoyasu."

The blonde smiled at him. "Fey, Fumi-chan!" His smile slowly disappeared as he noticed the dark glint in the raven-haired man's eyes. "Uh, wut's wrong?"

"Do you remember that promise you made me?" Naofumi asked calmly, completely ignoring the still-laughing L'Arc.

Motoyasu frowned in puzzlement. Then his eyes slowly widened. "Oh... I furgot."

There was a moment of silence (if you could call it that, with L'Arc's laughter still filling the background) as the two stared at each other.

Then Naofumi looked off to the side and shouted, "FIRO! SICK HIM!"

Firo blinked before grinning and transforming into her bird form. "Yes, Master!"

And, as if that was the magic word that rendered booze meaningless, Motoyasu snapped out of his drunken haze, cursed loudly, and shot out the chair and out the door, Firo hot on his heels.

"I CAN'T BREATHE!" L'Arc laughed. "MY STOMACH! IT HURTS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Naofumi whirled around and glared down at him, his face red from embarrassment. "STOP LAUGHING, DAMMIT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

Why was this his life?