Chapter 13
Anna does the company's most important interview. Dimitri escalates things. Edelgard enjoys her new position. Claude has a question for Byleth.
To: Ashe Ubert; Marianne von Edmund; Bernadetta von Varley
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:06 AM
RE: The Interview
Okay people, this is the big day. Nader is coming here to interview me on the company's turnaround. We're in the green for the first time. We cannot screw this up.
Anna
To: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
From: Dedue Molinaro
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:08 AM
RE: I have it
I have obtained the picture. What do you want me to do with it?
Dedue
To: Dedue Molinaro
From: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:13 AM
RE: RE: I have it
Post it on the company social media account. It's time to act. No more mugging around.
Dimitri
To: Jeralt Reus Eisner; Seteth Cichol; Catherine Rubens Charon; Shamir Nevrand; Jeritza von Hrym
From: Edelgard von Hresvelg
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:15 AM
RE: Our meeting
Please bring a copy of this meeting's agenda that I sent you all last week. I'd like to get started as soon as possible.
Edelgard
To: Seteth Cichol; Catherine Rubens Charon; Shamir Nevrand
From: Jeralt Reus Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:17 AM
RE: Help
Someone please send me a copy of that agenda, I lost it.
Jeralt
To: Emblem Corp. Staff
From: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:29 AM
RE: Why
Can someone explain why I found a molding fish in the ceiling above my office?
Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
To: Caspar von Bergliez
From: Raphael Kirsten
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:30 AM
RE: Wow!
Oh fuck he found my lunch.
Raphael
To: Raphael Kirsten
From: Caspar von Bergliez
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:32 AM
RE: RE: Wow!
You were going to eat a MOLDING FISH?
Caspar
To: Caspar von Bergliez
From: Raphael Kirsten
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:34 AM
RE: RE: RE: Wow!
I read if you cooked it long enough the mold would burn away. Like, bacteria can't survive at certain temperatures.
Raphael
To: Raphael Kirsten
From: Leonie Pinelli
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:39 AM
RE: You need help
Caspar just showed me your email. I have so many questions.
Thank you for hiding it above Lorenz instead of down here. Though why you felt the need to hide it at all escapes me.
Leonie
To: Dorothea Arnault; Mercedes von Martritz; Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:43 AM
RE: 'Mugging'?
Um, one of our posts is trending worldwide. But we didn't post it.
Hilda
To: Hilda Valentine Goneril; Mercedes von Martritz; Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:45 AM
RE: RE: 'Mugging'?
What is it?
Dorothea
To: Dorothea Arnault; Mercedes von Martritz; Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:46 AM
RE: RE: RE: 'Mugging'?
It's a picture of Claude's coffee mug, the one with the cute little deer on it. It's hashtagged 'no more mugging around.' Attached is a manifesto demanding that either the manufacturer reveal themselves or someone will tank Emblem Corp.
Hilda
To: Hilda Valentine Goneril; Mercedes von Martritz; Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 9:48 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: 'Mugging'?
Fuck. Everyone, my office, now.
Dorothea
To: Marianne von Edmund
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:01 AM
RE: Ugh
Definitely gonna be held back late tonight. Someone hacked the company social. Don't wait up for me.
Hilda
To: Marianne von Edmund; Ashe Ubert; Bernadetta von Varley
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:03 AM
RE: Ready?
Nader's here. Have we got everything?
Anna
To: Anna Ernest; Ashe Ubert; Bernadetta von Varley
From: Marianne von Edmund
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:04 AM
RE: RE: Ready?
You're set. Go kick some ass.
Marianne
To: Marianne von Edmund; Ashe Ubert; Bernadetta von Varley
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:05 AM
RE: RE: RE: Ready?
Your Hilda is showing.
Anna
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:10 AM
RE: Important
Okay two things. One, if anyone asks you if you've seen a cat around the office, tell them it's a ghost. And two, wanna move in with me?
Claude
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:12 AM
RE: RE: Important
Wait wait, like move in move in? Like me living with you? Like you and I being together all the time?
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:14 AM
RE: RE: RE: Important
Yeah. But wait, about the cat, please tell people it's a ghost. It's very important.
Claude
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:15 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: Important
Yes I'll move in with you. Shouldn't we talk about logistics and not some cat?
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:17 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Important
The cat is important.
Claude
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Edelgard von Hresvelg
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:22 AM
RE: Claude…
Claude why is a cat running in and out of your office.
Edelgard
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:24 AM
RE: RE: Claude…
There's no cat. It's a ghost.
Claude
To: Emblem Corp. Staff
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:28 AM
RE: ATTENTION
Someone has hacked our social media. We believe it to be someone amongst the staff. If any of you have information, I need it NOW.
Dorothea
To: Mercedes von Martritz
From: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:30 AM
RE: All set?
Are you ready?
Dimitri
To: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
From: Mercedes von Martritz
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:31 AM
RE: RE: All set?
You just keep doing your part.
Mercedes
To: Emblem Corp. Staff
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:54 AM
RE: Revenge
I just got out of an interview with Nader. He flayed me alive over the low security of the company with this social media nonsense. We just got destroyed on a worldwide setting.
Whoever is responsible for this post, I will eviscerate you.
Anna
To: Anna Ernest
From: Hapi Timotheos
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:57 AM
RE: Woah there
Anna-banana, I'm gonna have to hit you with an official warning for threatening employees. Since you have de facto immunity due to your usefulness, the most I can do to you hit you with a censorship bot. Your harsh language will be automatically changed to happy animal language.
This will revert in 24 hours once you've calmed down.
Hapi
To: Hapi Timotheos
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 10:59 AM
RE: RE: Woah there
Fox you, Hapi.
Anna
To: Seteth Cichol
From: Jeralt Reus Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:01 AM
RE: Jeez
Why did she chew me out when we didn't even follow the agenda? I'm her boss, she can't do that.
Jeralt
To: Jeralt Reus Eisner
From: Seteth Cichol
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:03 AM
RE: RE: Jeez
Jeralt, we have bigger things to worry about. Our company is getting run through the mud right now on the news.
Seteth
To: Seteth Cichol
From: Jeralt Reus Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:07 AM
RE: RE: RE: Jeez
It'll sort itself out. Also, send Jeritza to my office, I want to talk to him.
Jeralt
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:15 AM
RE: The Cat
Wow you can hear Jeralt and Jeritza yelling from here.
Anyway, you need to help me sneak this cat out.
Claude
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:22 AM
RE: RE: The Cat
Explain this cat to me.
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:25 AM
RE: RE: RE: The Cat
He's a stray. He followed me here. Can I keep him?
Claude
To: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
From: Mercedes von Martritz
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:30 AM
RE: (Subject Line Blank)
It's done. Your turn.
Mercedes
To: Anna Ernest
From: Dedue Molinaro
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:31 AM
RE: Friendly advice
You want your revenge? I heard around the water cooler that Jeritza has been acting strange. Something about being happy that 'mugging' is trending.
Dedue
To: Dedue Molinaro
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:33 AM
RE: RE: Friendly advice
You better not be foxing with me, Dedue. Because if you are, you're gonna up sloth creek without a paddle. I'll get your anteater fired so fast that you'll be rotting in hare without your Dimitri.
Anna
To: Anna Ernest
From: Dedue Molinaro
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:35 AM
RE: RE: RE: Friendly advice
I think it prudent to remind you that we store all emails sent.
Dedue
To: Marianne von Edmund
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:43 AM
RE: Huh
Well Dorothea is letting me out early, so let's do something.
Hilda
To: Hilda Valentine Goneril
From: Marianne von Edmund
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:45 AM
RE: RE: Huh
Good. I got us tickets to go see the rabbit judging competition.
Mari
To: Marianne von Edmund
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:46 AM
RE: RE: RE: Huh
Goddess I love it when you're forceful.
Hilda
To: Hubert von Vestra
From: Edelgard von Hresvelg
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:54 AM
RE: Two issues
I have two problems before me. One is finding this hacker, the other is figuring out how we can capture this cat around Claude's office. Let's divide and conquer.
Edelgard
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 11:59 AM
RE: RE: Two issues
Leave the cat to me. You must not worry yourself over trivial issues.
Hubert
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:01 PM
RE: This cat
I understand there is a cat by Claude's office. I require your assistance in helping me locate and neutralize it.
Hubert
To: Hubert von Vestra
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:03 PM
RE: RE: This cat
You mean the ghost? Don't worry, it's friendly.
Byleth
To: Jeritza von Hrym
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:13 PM
RE: (Subject Line Blank)
YOU. ARE. DEAD.
Anna
To: Shamir Nevrand
From: Catherine Rubens Charon
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:14 PM
RE: Save me
Are Jeralt and Jeritza ever going to stop yelling? I need earplugs.
Cath
To: Catherine Rubens Charon
From: Shamir Nevrand
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:16 PM
RE: RE: Save me
I'll buy you a pair for our anniversary.
Shamir
To: Mercedes von Martritz
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:23 PM
RE: I hope work ends soon
At least it's Jeralt that Jeritza yells at so much, not you. They both have a lot of vocal stamina.
Though I can see the relation between you now. You certainly can scream for a long time and loudly too.
Dorothea
To: Dorothea Arnault
From: Mercedes von Martritz
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:27 PM
RE: RE: I hope work ends soon
I can't believe that I think of them as white noise now.
How the post?
Mercie
P.S. I couldn't do that without your help, dear!
To: Mercedes von Martritz
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:31 PM
RE: RE: RE: I hope work ends soon
Despite taking it down so quick, the hashtag 'WeWantTheMug' has begun to trend.
I'm going to get fired for this.
Dorothea
P.S. You know how to sweet talk a girl.
To: Dorothea Arnault
From: Mercedes von Martritz
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:33 PM
RE: RE: RE: RE: I hope work ends soon
Have you talked to Claude about where it's from?
Mercie
P.S. You won't get fired. You're FAR too good at this job for that to happen.
To: Mercedes von Martritz
From: Dorothea Arnault
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:38 PM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I hope work ends soon
Claude says he doesn't remember. He thinks it was a gift.
Dorothea
P.S. You charmer. I'm gonna need to relax after this, if you know what I'm saying.
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:43 PM
RE: RE: RE: This cat
What do you mean it's a ghost? I need you to help me set up my spare cat trap in his office.
Hubert
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:45 PM
RE: Better mosey
Hubert is on his way with a trap. You better get that cat out of here.
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:47 PM
RE: RE: Better mosey
Distract him. I need to secret agent stealth my way out with Catatonic.
Claude
To: Hubert von Vestra
From: Edelgard von Hresvelg
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:56 PM
RE: Cat help
I just ran into Dorothea at the water cooler. Seems like she has the social media fiasco under control. Well, not perfectly, but she said that she had measures in place to get things fixed. Being a boss means knowing when to step back, so that is what I have done.
Allow me to help with this cat.
Edelgard
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 12:59 PM
RE: RE: Cat help
Byleth has just informed me it was a ghost and jumped out of the window in Claude's office. When I went to ask Claude, he was nowhere to be found.
What do you advise that I do?
Hubert
To: Hubert von Vestra
From: Edelgard von Hresvelg
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:37 PM
RE: RE: RE: Cat help
I think the cat is the least of our problems right now.
Edelgard
To: Raphael Kirsten; Balthus von Albrecht; Leonie Pinelli
From: Caspar von Bergliez
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:37 PM
RE: That racket
What the hell was that? You could hear it all the way down here.
Caspar
To: Felix Hugo Fraldarius
From: Sylvain Jose Gautier
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:37 PM
RE: Damn
Why don't you talk to me like that?
Sylvain
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner; Mercedes von Martritz; Dorothea Arnault; Marianne von Edmund
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:38 PM
RE: YES
Thank the goddess I filmed that. Can't wait to upload the roast of Jeritza von Hrym later.
Hilda
To: Hilda Valentine Goneril; Mercedes von Martritz; Dorothea Arnault; Marianne von Edmund
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:39 PM
RE: RE: YES
Did you get the part where Jeralt came in and fired him on the spot? I didn't even know he could do that to Jeritza.
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner; Mercedes von Martritz; Dorothea Arnault; Marianne von Edmund
From: Hilda Valentine Goneril
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:41 PM
RE: RE: RE: YES
Of course I did. Anna held nothing back, I wasn't going to miss a second of it. I didn't know a person was capable of being that angry.
Hilda
To: Emblem Corp. Staff
From: Anna Ernest
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:44 PM
RE: Remember this.
I do not appreciate it when someone besmirches my reputation.
Anna
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:56 PM
RE: Your cat
I do not know what you did, but I will find that cat.
Hubert
To: Hubert von Vestra
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 1:59 PM
RE: RE: Your cat
Come near the ghost cat and I will tell Bernadetta you enjoy reading her smut she writes about everyone in the office.
Claude
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:00 PM
RE: RE: RE: Your cat
Let's forget this whole issue ever happened.
Hubert
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:01 PM
RE: Never mind
The cat was a ghost. There never was a cat. I saw nothing.
Hubert
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:04 PM
RE: RE: Never mind
Hubert I saw it too. What are you talking about?
Edelgard
To: Edelgard von Hresvelg
From: Hubert von Vestra
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:05 PM
RE: RE: RE: Never mind
There was nothing.
Hubert
To: Dedue Molinaro
From: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:09 PM
RE: Anything?
Did Claude ever mention on social media where he got it?
Dimitri
To: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
From: Dedue Molinaro
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:11 PM
RE: RE: Anything?
He has been running around the office with a cat all day, trying to keep it hidden. I do not believe he is aware of the situation at all.
Dedue
To: Dedue Molinaro
From: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:12 PM
RE: RE: RE: Anything?
Unfortunate. Still, we accomplished our goal.
Dimitri
To: Claude von Riegan
From: Byleth Sothis Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:17 PM
RE: Oh, Claude
Someday you're gonna have to give me a little warning before you launch me into your schemes.
By
To: Byleth Sothis Eisner
From: Claude von Riegan
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:19 PM
RE: RE: Oh, Claude
One of the things I love most about you is how you just roll with them.
Claude
P.S. Catatonic really likes sitting in the popcorn bowl
To: Dimitri Alexandre; Mercedes von Martritz; Dedue Molinaro
From: Jeralt Reus Eisner
Sent: Wednesday, Lone Moon 18, 2:20 PM
RE: (Subject Left Blank)
I appreciate the effort and discretion. You can all expect a raise and an additional week off for giving me that opportunity to finally get rid of him.
I will terminate all the emails about this. These conversations never happened.
Jeralt
Author Notes: I wrote a bunch of fics of Cathmir fics between this update and the last. Check them out if that's your cup of tea!
It's been a while! I could ramble on and on about how the last two months have been some of the busiest of my life, but instead I'll sum it up in one sentence: I graduated college with two degrees during a pandemic and then jumped into a full time job soon after.
So I'm still pretty tired. Thus, I'll be frank that I don't know how often this will get updated. I'm not killing it, it'll just be slow. Partially because of the above, but also because I need to really consider my original writing. I promised myself I'd start a novel after college and one of my mentors has recommended I go get my MFA in Poetry as it turns out I have talent for that? (I'm still very blindsided by that, so let this be a reminder to you all that you can find out you're good at something you always thought you were bad at!)
Trivia! I accidentally signed my own name on one of these emails since I've been writing so many lately. Thankfully I caught it in proofreading, that could have been an oops.