I wasn't sure if I wanted to be here. There's too much trouble in the world that I feel silent or I can't speak for myself. Tried to get along with everyone, but I feel like I just get in the way of everyone. Basically, I just barely have friends... or just to have someone I could have is a friend. Throughout the day, I wasn't sure how I was going to leave the world, if I was to die young. I began dressing myself in a casual outfit, as if I was heading to church. Finally, I was to bring something with me to think of before I was to leave... it was my Watership Down book. Throughout my years, I have read the book, and seen the movie, TV series, and of course my favorite, the miniseries. Probably I wanted to see one of the rabbits to see at least one rabbit to say that I do matter and I'm not worthless. I left my home to start a walk on a trail that kept me on my feet. Maybe contemplating to withdraw what I was about to do. But I was certain, it'll be a sharp as a knife to end a life that'll be short.

After minutes of walking, I found a creek and spotted a wooden boat. The color of the boat was tarnished, not even satin. However, it'll probably be better to drown in the boat. I could only find a small flower that I'll put on top of my copy of Watership Down. As I was about to push the boat out, I put on The Band Perry's hit, If I Die Young. After pulling the boat out, I climbed aboard and positioned myself if I was lying inside a satin coffin. The gentle wind started to guide the boat smoothly in smooth path. I closed my eyes with a tear falling from my eye. I was prepared to wait until the creek would be too deep for the boat to float. I continued to listen to the song repetitively, as I was listening to the final sounds of Earth and nature surrounding it, before I go deep in the water. It would be nearly twenty minutes that I was nearly out of the shallow that I was in deep end of the creek. I looked over at the land to see a rabbit watching me.

Why's a rabbit watching?

I wasn't sure... perhaps it'll be the last living creature that I would see. The rabbit started to follow me, as the boat continued to float. I lie back down, until I began to feel the water filling up the boat. This would be the end. I tossed my phone on land, as I continued to hear the song. The boat filled the water quickly that I didn't want to battle to keep myself afloat. I kept holding my book tight with my small flower. Seconds later, I could only hear the underwater. I was starting to lose my breath after I was in the water for two minutes. I took my final breath that I stopped breathing and I drowned.

I knew what the punishment is for killing myself. I was prepared for it. A unhappy afterlife, that it'll be the cost of total separation forever. Before I could see a bright light, I see something swimming towards me. I was probably thinking it was Death, ready to carry me up to the sky, so I could face judgement. My eyes closed again and thought it'll be permanent.

Light began to brighten, but only to see it fade. I thought I already have my sentence. But I felt I regurgitated water from my body. My eyes remained closed, as I could feel air filling up my body again. I slowly started to open my eyes to see a rabbit with warm orange eyes with scars on his fur. I was too weak that I tried to sit up, but he gently placed his paw on my chest.

"You're too weak. Thank Frith, I saved you in time." the rabbit spoke. I was mixed emotions to hear a rabbit talking to me. I was too weak to respond that I wasn't ready to talk, from gasping for air. "Slow breaths son, you'll be able to catch your breath soon."

I began to slowly breathe to compose myself. I was than able to breathe again that I was ready to speak, if I was ready to.

"What were you doing a floating thing?" the rabbit asked me.

"Killing myself." I answered.

The rabbit was shocked to the core. "Great Frith, why?"

"I don't feel like I fit anywhere... I don't matter. I just felt like no one would matter, if I drown myself and no one would find me." I spoke in tears.

The rabbit shook his head. "How could you do such a thing? I'm sure you have much to live for, especially if you're young."

"It doesn't feel like it for me... who are you?" I than asked for his name.

"I'm Captain Holly. I was just on solo patrol to find you in the water." he introduced himself.

"Captain Holly... really. From Watership Down." I guessed.

"Yes. How do you know?" he questioned out of surprise.

"I look up to you someway... your voice and personalities I guess." I answered.

The captain chuckled. "I get that from Hyzenthlay a lot."

"She's your mate?"

"Yes... she saved my life sometime ago... now I own her my life, if she's in danger." he spoke slowly.

I sat up on the grass and gazing at the creek and the half floating boat that sank. "I guess I own you my life..."

"I'm sorry?"

"You saved me. However, you shouldn't have, you couldn't pass through and I would die peacefully. I only wanted someone to say that I do matter and say my life is worth while."

He shook his head. "You own me nothing. I'm sure you matter and if you were gone... everyone you loved dearly would be heartbroken that you were gone."

I was moved to tears to hear someone say that I matter and I could look up to a friend. "You're the first living being to hear someone say that I matter."

"Oh no. I'm sure your family matter. They wanted to have what's best for you." he added.

I started to take word from what he said. "Why are you talking to me? Why are you doing this?"

Captain Holly was silent for trying to figure out to say. "A doe told me that humans do care, but they often misunderstanding at times."

"I could see that, even I always have troubling understanding everyone else, as they do for me too." I cleaned my tears.

"Where do you live? If you care for an escort to your warren." he offered for assistance.

I looked back at him to see him with a warm, comforting smile from a friend to help me in a time of need. "Yes... yes please. I like that very much." And so, after I found my phone, we started our journey for home. We talked for minutes to hours of his adventures that I was fascinated with. At the same time, I do feel remorse that he told me that humans destroyed his old warren. Not only that losing his family and some of his friends that lived there. We than decided at this point that we found friendship that everyone wanted to be understood. After our long journey, we arrived at my home. I could see my family outside waiting for me.

"You're now home... I must leave you." he spoke.

"Will I ever see you again?" Before I could hear his answer, Captain Holly was gone. I wasn't sure that he was heading for his home, but I knew he hopped quickly that I never get to fully thank him. When I walked towards the footsteps, my family questioned where I was been. I than told them the truth. They were shocked and mixed emotions with sadden and anger. I apologized them deeply that I felt like no one cared for me. In tears, they gave me a hug and told me that I mattered and was cared deeply, out of worry. I felt their embrace of a warm hug.

In the night, I waited to see if he would return. My window was open and I have my book with me. I was in tears that I would never see the rabbit again. I than heard paws landed on the window and saw it was the same rabbit. I couldn't help, but give him a hug. He told me that he wanted to see if I was alright and I told him I was better because he was here. I asked if he would stay with me tonight, even though I told him he doesn't have to. However, he nodded his head and hopped on to my bed. My head gently rested towards his soft side, as my right arm was gently wrapped around him, like a stuff animal I longed for to keep me safe. I was very warm from Captain Holly being there that I could rest easy in a night of need.

"Thank you, Captain Holly." I thanked him.

"Your welcome, my ol' son." he warmly smiled, before shared a nuzzling moment and feel asleep to think that I do matter and I was happier than ever.

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when
She stands under my colours, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it oughta be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well, I've had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin.
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh oh)

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls