A/N: Thanks to everybody for reading and reviewing, I hope you've enjoyed this story!

"Boy this reminds me when I took you for your first day of school," Benny said a few days later as he pulled his car up outside the office building.

"Not helping, Pops," Kelly replied.

"I'm not trying to help, I'm just stating a fact," Benny said in response, earning a small chuckle from his son.

Benny pulled up in the parking lot and put the car in park, but he noticed Kelly was in no hurry to get out. Instead he remained slumped back against his seat and just stared out the window at the building up ahead.

"Kelly..."

The younger Severide turned and faced his father and reluctantly asked, "What if I can't do this? What if I can't go through with it?"

"Kelly, you can do anything, I've told you that all your life," Benny said.

"What if I can't?" Kelly repeated, "Are you...would you be..."

Kelly couldn't bring himself to use the word 'disappointed', but Benny knew it was hanging in the air.

"Kelly, you do what you gotta do and don't worry about anybody else," he told his son, "It's as simple as that. You'll be fine, I know it."

This actually reminded him a lot of when he took Kelly and dropped him off for his first day of school. It was one of Benny's days off shift and Kelly didn't want to go because he wanted to stay home with him. It had been a rough day all around but they got through it, and he knew it was going to be a lot more work now but he knew they'd get through this too.

"Come here." He reached across the front seat and pulled Kelly against him in a tight embrace. "I love you, Kelly, you can do this."

Against him he could hear Kelly breathing hard, and he could hear the hesitance in his son's voice, as he forced out something it was obvious he would've rather never told anyone, "Pop...I'm scared..."

Benny nodded as he rubbed Kelly's back, "I know...it's okay. You'll do fine."

When Kelly pulled back his eyes were just starting to glisten with a fresh onset of tears. "Are you...will you be here when I'm done?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Kelly," Benny told him. "Now go on."

Kelly blinked back the tears and reached for the door handle. Benny watched him head up the sidewalk to the building and go in, and as he turned forward in his seat he also spotted a familiar pickup truck pulling in behind him. He got out of the car and went around to meet the other man.

"He go in?" Casey asked as he hopped out of the pickup.

"He did," Benny said.

"Think he'll stay?"

"I don't know...look, Matt, I know this hasn't been easy for you, but I want to thank you for everything you've done to help Kelly," the elder Severide told him.

Casey glanced down towards the street as a brief color flushed through his cheeks, he looked back up and shook his head, "Doesn't feel like enough."

"You can't do anymore for him than you are...and I especially want to thank you for bringing this up with him. He doesn't like it, but this is what he needs, and I think even he knows it," Benny said.

"I'm not sure about that, Benny."

"I am. If I'd mentioned therapy, and I wouldn't have, there's no way he'd ever have listened to me."

"It's taken so long to get him to agree to try it," Casey responded.

"Yeah well, that's Kelly, it takes a while but he always comes around."

Casey looked at the office building and then back to his truck. "I should probably go. He won't want me here."

"How do you know?" Benny asked.

"Trust me, he doesn't want other people around when he's vulnerable...you can get away with it, but I don't think he'll appreciate me being here when he comes out," Casey said.

"Maybe not, but he's going to need you," Benny replied.

Casey looked at the older man. "How do you know?"

The gray haired man looked at him and answered firmly but simply, "Because you're the only reason he's gotten this far."

Matt had no idea how to respond to that, or even what to think of it.

"So...what do we do now?" he asked, feeling completely lost.

"We wait."

"That's it?"

"That's all we can do right now."

"Do you think he'll actually talk to the therapist?" Matt asked.

"I hope," Benny said.

An hour later Kelly left the therapist's office, practically zombie walking his way to the front door, he looked up and did a double take at the sight of the two men standing by Benny's car.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Casey as he headed down the sidewalk.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked him.

Kelly stopped a few steps from reaching him, and he stared at him, then at his dad, and slowly shook his head, "I don't know."

Suddenly Kelly looked unsteady on his feet, Casey grabbed him and pulled Kelly against him in a tight hug, waiting to see what he did next.

"I want to go home," was all he was willing to say.

"Okay," Casey said as he calmly rubbed Kelly's back, "we can do that."

He finally let go and Kelly stood back, and turned and faced Benny.

"Pop..."

The elder Severide looked at him with a sad smile and told him, "I know how hard this was for you, Kelly, I'm proud of you."

Kelly felt his father's strong arms around him and merely leaned in to the embrace.

"I have to come back again," he said with a reluctant whine, as if this fact hadn't set in until now, and made it quite obvious that he didn't want to do it.

"First time for anything's always the hardest, you know that," Benny told him. "It'll get easier after this because you know what to expect. Come on, let's go."

Benny drove Kelly back to Casey's apartment and dropped him off, briefly mentioning to Casey that he thought his presence at that time might not be what Kelly needed right now. Kelly walked in the door and went straight to the guest room and collapsed on the bed. A moment later Casey appeared in the doorway and looked at the man laying on top of the covers, who looked completely exhausted.

"Kelly..." he said softly, not sure what he was supposed to say, but not wanting to risk saying the wrong thing. Severide didn't acknowledge his presence or his name being called, he just laid on the bed with an arm draped over his face to block out the light, as if trying to make the whole world go away.

"Do you just want me to leave you alone for now?" Casey asked.

Kelly dropped his arm, and sighed, and briefly opened his eyes, not looking at Casey, but quietly responding, "Please."

Matt merely nodded his head and said reassuringly, "Okay, I can do that. If you change your mind...if you need anything, you know where to find me."

He closed the door behind him to give Kelly some privacy. Severide slowly tossed and turned from one side to the other, moaning softly the entire time. Finally he pulled the pillow out from under his head, straightened himself on his back, grabbed the pillow with both hands, held it over his face and screamed into it as hard as he could. When he ran out of oxygen he sucked in a mouthful of air that was stifled through the linen, before he could even feel his body getting any benefit from the newfound oxygen, he screamed it all back out into the pillow again. Several times he sucked in just enough air to let it all back out again as he screamed into the pillow, until finally he dropped it and curled on his side in a ball and slowly took in smaller breaths that a few minutes later came back out as sobs.

Casey slowly opened the door and peered in. Kelly was still laying on top of the bed, flat on his back, and seemed to have fallen asleep at some point. The lights were still on in the room, Casey stepped in, and got a better look at Kelly. Though right now he seemed to be dead to the world, there were still two half dried streaks of tears running down his face.

It had been hours since Casey left him. He'd heard the screams, then the cries, but he respected Kelly's wishes and left him alone, he knew that the therapy session had no doubt left him with a lot to process. It was night now, late, he didn't know if Kelly would be up to eating but he'd saved a plate from dinner and put it in the fridge incase he changed his mind later.

He stood over the bed now and Kelly's demeanor didn't change, there was nothing to indicate he was aware of Matt's presence in the room. It was late enough Casey figured he'd sleep through the rest of the night, but getting him under the covers would be impossible without waking Kelly up. He thought for a minute, and left the room, and came back with a spare blanket from the closet, and draped it over the sleeping man, who never stirred at the sudden weight of it on him.

Casey knew what he was risking, all those nights he went to Kelly because he was screaming and having nightmares, he hadn't always walked away unscathed. There had been a few instances where Kelly punched him or otherwise hit him, mistaking him for his assailants, and it was still a risk he was taking now, but he leaned over and lightly kissed Kelly on the forehead, still there was no response.

"Love you, Kelly," he whispered.

With that, he headed for the door, shut the lights off, and closed the door on his way out.

2 weeks later-

Casey entered his apartment and was met with an eerie silence. The TV was off, the radio was off, nothing in the kitchen was on, there was no water running, the only thing in the whole apartment he could hear was the faint sound of the ice maker in the kitchen. He turned and looked out the door, Kelly's car was parked outside, so he should've been there. He went to the kitchen, then checked both bedrooms, and finally he came to the bathroom door. He thought back, just before he'd left to run errands, Kelly had gone in there to take a shower. That, Casey realized, had been almost an hour ago.

He rapped on the door. "Kelly? You okay?"

"I'll be out in a minute," he called back from the other side of the door.

Relieved to actually hear his voice, and it didn't sound like anything was wrong, Casey stepped back and merely remarked, "Take your time," and went back to the living room and parked himself on the couch.

A couple minutes later the door opened and Kelly walked out to the living room, showered, shaved, his hair combed, and Casey couldn't help noticing he was dressed in one of the newer pairs of jeans he owned and one of his nicer shirts.

"How do I look?" he asked somewhat apprehensively.

"For what?" Casey asked.

Reluctantly, Kelly admitted, "I have a date tonight."

Casey blinked. "A date-date? You mean actually going out with a woman instead of just picking one up at the bar?"

Kelly glared at him.

"Okay, sorry," Casey said, his demeanor quickly changing to one of excitement, "That's great, Kelly, who is she?"

"Just a woman I met..."

"Where?"

Kelly rolled his eyes hesitantly as he answered, "At the gas station."

Casey laughed, "What a romantic."

Severide responded by elbowing him sharply in the ribs.

"Sorry, sorry," Casey composed himself, "seriously, Kelly, I'm happy for you. Maybe it'll work out this time."

"I hope so," he replied as he stopped by the mirror and ran his hands over his hair to make sure none were sticking out of place. "What if it doesn't?"

Casey shrugged, "That's the idea of a date, you go slower so you can figure it out. What time are you meeting her?"

"In half an hour," Kelly said, "it's a 20 minute drive to her place."

"You're actually picking her up?" Casey asked. "You're really going all out for this one, aren't you?"

"Shut up."

A small giggle escaped him. "I'm sorry, I know this is a big deal for you, this is exciting, Kelly."

"You're excited," Kelly pulled on the collar of his shirt, "I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

"Just take it easy, you've been out with hundreds of women-"

"Shut up."

Casey ignored him. "You've got this, Kelly."

The two men stood side by side and and looked at their reflections.

"I just want this to go right," Kelly quietly confessed.

"It will," Casey assured him.

Casey looked at the mirror, then over and Kelly, and out of nowhere he placed both hands on Kelly's head and mussed up his hair.

"Cut-that-out!"

Casey got out a chuckle as he watched Kelly smooth his hair back again. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously, you're gonna be fine, Kelly, I know it. You got everything?"

"Yeah," Kelly said with a huff. He stepped back from the mirror, then turned to head for the door, then instead turned to Casey and hugged him.

"Thank you."

Casey reciprocated the embrace and told him, "You're gonna be okay, Kelly."

Casey wasn't sure whether he was supposed to wait around for Kelly or not incase the date went south and he came home early, or if things really went sour and he needed Matt to pick him up. Either way he spent the night lazing around the apartment, waiting to see if anything happened. Finally about midnight when Kelly still wasn't home, he decided Severide knew what he was doing and was able to get back on the proverbial horse, so he shut off the lights and the TV and went to bed.

He slept peacefully through the night and didn't wake up until almost 6 the next morning. Not being on shift that day and not having any construction work, it was earlier than he usually got up, but he decided to drag himself out of bed and get started on the day anyway. Opening the blind he saw the sky was just starting to get light, the sun would be up soon.

As he headed towards the kitchen he heard a noise that caught him off guard and he felt his heart jump. Then he realized it was the lock on the front door being undone, the door opened and Kelly walked in, his overall appearance only slightly disheveled compared to last night, but on the whole he looked just the same as when he left.

"Oh...hey," he said, himself caught off guard by Casey's presence.

"Morning," Casey said, not sure at the moment what else to say.

"Uh...yeah," Kelly replied as he shut the door.

"Well?" Casey asked.

"Well what?"

"Well?" Casey repeated in smug amusement. "You were out all night. What happened?"

Kelly grumbled under his breath as he answered, "We went back to her place." At the look on Casey's face he quickly added, "Get your head out of the gutter...nothing happened...I fell asleep on her couch watching TV."

"So...you just skipped dating and went straight for being married?" Casey teased.

"Nothing happened," Kelly repeated.

But, Casey noticed, there was something different about the way Kelly said it this time, as opposed to his first failed attempt at a date.

"But?" he prodded.

"But...I wanted it to," Kelly said, "I thought..."

Casey couldn't help the amusement he got from the hint of color running through Kelly's cheeks. Severide had never in his life had any problem talking about the women he went home with, if there wasn't the longstanding psychological trouble behind all this, he'd look downright cute trying to explain it. And Casey couldn't suppress the mischievous grin on his face as he put together what it was that Kelly wasn't able to bring himself to say.

"So I take it things are starting to get back to 'normal'?" he smirked, well aware of the fact he was having way too much fun at Kelly's expense of finally being able to get an erection again under normal circumstances of a woman he wanted to be with.

"If you breathe a word of this to anybody, I will kill you," Kelly told him. Changing the subject he explained, "We're...gonna go out again after next shift."

"That's great, Kelly," Casey said. "I told you it'd just take time. So?"

"So what?"

"What's her name?"

Kelly sighed and answered, "Tish Prescott."

"You gonna bring her by Molly's so everyone else can meet her?" Casey asked.

"Oh yeah, just what I want to do, scare her off just when it looks promising," Kelly rolled his eyes.

Casey laughed. "Well congratulations, Kelly, I'm happy for you."

Kelly shifted his gaze towards the floor, implying he'd rather be doing anything than having this conversation right now, but the moment passed and he looked at Casey and told him, "Thanks for helping me get through this. I...I really don't know what I would've done if you...if..."

Casey smiled as he cut him off, "It's okay, Kelly...you're past the worst of it now, the rest will be easier."

Kelly looked at him glumly and replied, "I still haven't gone back to my apartment."

That was true. "What if...you just stay here until you can find a new place?" Casey asked.

Someplace without the memories, without the ghosts of what had taken place there.

"It could take a while," Kelly said.

"We've been roommates before."

"You'd really do that?" Kelly asked.

"Of course, you know that," Casey told him.

Kelly pursed his lips together, seeming almost in awe of this.

"Thanks, Matt."

"I'll help you get the rest of your stuff, when you're ready to go over," Casey said.

Kelly couldn't find any more words that would fit what he was feeling right now. His throat felt tight and he couldn't talk anyway. He reached out and hugged Casey. Matt put his arms around Kelly in return and kissed him over his temple. "It's alright, Kelly, you're gonna be fine."

Kelly felt tears running down the corner of his eye he didn't even realize were building up, but he managed a small smile as he told his best friend, "I love you, Casey."

Matt smiled lightly and responded, "It's nice to be wanted."

2 months later-

"So how's he doing?" Voight asked Casey as the two sat beside each other at the bar at Molly's.

"Seems to be doing alright," Casey answered, "hasn't really been having any nightmares for a while...he quit therapy after a month."

"Uh huh," Voight said in his usual grunt.

"I think he got everything out of it he's going to," Casey said. "He's been dating the same woman for 2 months, which has to be a record for him since...I don't even remember. He said he was going to bring her by tonight so we could finally meet her."

"Sounds serious," Hank commented.

"I think it is," Casey said.

"She know?" Voight asked.

Casey shrugged. "If he hasn't told her yet, I think he's going to have to soon."

"Uh huh."

"I think that's why he's been going slower this time," Casey said, "he knows he's got baggage, more than usual now...probably wants to make sure that whoever he's with can handle it."

"Hopefully she can," Voight replied.

"I'll drink to that," Casey said. He picked up his beer bottle and clinked it against the glass Voight's half-drunk Manhattan was in. "So...what's Benny up to?"

"Said he'd be in later tonight," Hank answered.

Casey blinked. "So he might actually get to meet Kelly's girlfriend."

"That'd be the first in a long time, wouldn't it?" Voight asked with a hint of amusement at the thought.

Casey got out a small laugh and said, "Well, tonight should really make or break where they go from here...Hank."

"Hm?"

Casey kept his voice low and said, "I want to thank you for everything you did...I don't think we would've gotten through that night if you hadn't come with me."

Voight looked at the young fireman and after a few seconds he responded, "I don't doubt your abilities, Matt, but I'm a cop, and I know it's better to take backup for any unforeseen complications. Kelly would've mopped the floor with you that night if you'd been alone."

Casey nodded. "I know..."

Voight inhaled, and looked at Matt, and told him, "Kelly's lucky to have you for a friend."

Matt looked at the older cop and commented, "I guess Benny must be pretty lucky to have you for one too."

"We do alright," Hank remarked.

Casey nodded and said, "I guess that's all we can do."

Matt picked up his bottle, got up from his stool and moved over to the end of the bar, where Herrmann was making his rounds cleaning the counter and taking orders.

"Hey Casey, watchu talking to Voight about?" he asked.

"Oh...nothing important," Matt answered.