A/N: *EDIT*

Just wanted to thank everyone for their support.

Now if only the trolls would just buzz off, everything would be great.

And to the trolls, those who live to tear me down. Well. I can only say this I suppose. NYEH~!

Lack of reviews really hurts ya know, it tends to drive me right back into hibernation and away from everyone.

AHA!

You thought it was a Fate update, but t'was Undertale instead! As a warning, this story is meant to make you smile and laugh quite a bit. Its not quite a parody, but

Well.

I beat Undertale.

Yep, got the True Pacifist ending and didn't hurt a soul. I'm a good boi~! Presently, I am very much RESISTING the urge to do a True Reset and start over just for fun. Frankly, its quite tempting. But I can't do that for fear of being tempted to do Genocide. After watching a video of a certain character literally melt after you beat them down enough, I can safely say...nopenopeNOPE. Can't do it at all, that's pure nightmare fuel, I don't wanna, noooooooope!

So despite a good number of folks asking me to do it...I just can't.

Now, maybe if it were Underfell, I wouldn't feel so bad, but I'm too nice for me own good.

So. Here we go again.

I own no references, quotes, or media.

Title is a very much a reference, and I'm sure most of you will get it.

Its not even strictly an Undertale reference at all, its just meant to make you smile.

"Where there was one, now there are two. But is it me, or you?"

...I swear, you're even worse than that smiley trashbag."

"Alright, whaddya call a flower in a boot?"

"I WILL END YOUR EXISTENCE!"

~?

Boot

"Why am I in a boot?!"

If his captor had any answers for Flowey-Asriel!-he didn't seem inclined to give them. Instead he kept happily trucking forward, whistling a merry tune to himself as he worked. Every so often he would abruptly pause and give a wall an odd tap with his staff. Whenever he did a strange symbol would blur out of the weapon and affix itself to wherever it touched. At first the prince didn't understand; his tormentor wasn't making any moves to progress through the ruins; he wasn't trying to solve puzzles, and he certainly didn't show any interest in fighting monsters.

So.

What.

The Hell.

Was going on?!

"Stop carrying me around, damnit!"

Wide red eyes snapped towards him with a glower.

"Awwww, DoEs ThE wIdDlE fLoWeY wAnNa BoDy?"

"DON'T SCARE ME WITH MY OWN FACE! And stop using that voice!"

For his petulance the potted plant received a patronizing pat upon his petaled head. No matter how he hissed and spit and wriggled and writhed, he just couldn't get away from those fingers. Biting and hissing did him no good at all; his anger only seemed to amused the robed brat. Worse! He couldn't do anything about it! The kid's HP just wouldn't go down! What meager damage he managed to inflict was instantly recovered before he'd so much as a chance to attack twice. He only exhausted himself, and it was exhaustion-as much as this boot-that kept him captive.

"Just who the hell are you?! You're worse than the kid!"

Another tap, another mark. "I'm not Frisk and I'm DEFINITELY not Chara. Sorry to disappoint you again." Rinse and repeat. "And if you wanted to have a soul again that badly, I could've given you mine. See. Here."

Flowey scoffed.

"Ha! As if I'd believe you! You're lying! Only an idiot...would...wow. Is that it?"

He just...pulled it out. Just like that. He wasn't afraid of showing it at all.

...my soul's way too big, kid. What you see here is just a piece."

Quick as a flash, those bone-white fingers clicked out and slashed off a tinier speck of it. Despite himself, Asriel leaned forward. It was...beautiful, in its own maddening way. That silent shard gleamed like a midnight sun infused with threads of violet and red and not-quite blue, a writhing palette of colors that seemed to writhe and shift as he looked on. Temptation whispered in his ear, the familiar voice that always lurked within him. So close. He was so, terribly close. He could take it. Just reach out with a vine and snatch it away before the blond could reel that SOUL back in...but did he want it?"

"I could give you this." Naruto hummed softly. "You can have a body again."

Just as quickly he closed his hand around it again. "Or not. You'll have to be a good boy, first."

"Gah!" The sentient flower nearly lunged out of the boot at him. "I don't get you! What are we waiting for?!"

A distant thump reached their ears.

"That."

Quick as greased lighting, the blond hefted the boot-now containing a prince making angry flower noises-and bounded back the way they'd come. Something-someone?-shrieked in the distance and Flowey shuddered like a leaf. He wanted to leap out of the boot, crawl back into the dirt and hide. But he couldn't do that. This blasted boot kept him bound in place, roots unable to leave the loamy soil and peeling leather into which he'd been so ignominiously thrust. As such, he was quite powerless but to be carried along for the ride when his captor dragged him right back to the beginning.

Much to his consternation the field of flowers wasn't empty.

There...there was a kid there.

There shouldn't be another one there. That didn't make any sense. He'd only ever seen one kid at a time fall down here before. His mind rebelled at the notion. Had everything reset when he wasn't looking? But no, he was still here, still in the boot, still with that damn horn-head who acted more monster than human. By rights, there should-notnotNOT!-be another human child down here, sprawled out amongst the buttercups. Damnit. It was just a kid. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to send him curling up in the boot like a frightened stray.

But he was.

"I don't like this." Flowey growled as they crept closer to the prone human child. "I-I mean, another human? Are they just trying to kill off all their kids or-OW!"

A sharp smack to the back of what served as his "head" elicited an outraged squawk from the former prince.

"Stop! that!"

"Just be glad this isn't Underfell or Underswap." his host hummed. "You would've had a bad time there."

"I still don't like it...

At a glance the fallen human appeared harmless enough; little more than a nine-year-old in a dull blue striped sweater with matching pants. Was that Frisk? It looked like Frisk? With her-he assumed she was a girl?-face buried amid the flowers he couldn't see them properly, but the clothes and the little brown boots were a dead giveaway. So was that familiar brown hair. Any moment now they'd raise their gaze and he'd recognize those perpetually squinted eyes, then their familiar blank expression.

As they drew closer, Naruto sighed. "Well, that's unfortunate."

Flowey frowned at him. "What is-HYEEK!"

In an impossibly fast movement the fallen human lunged at him, knife in hand!

Try as he might, Flowey wasn't fast enough; there was nowhere to retreat to, no defense he could mount that wasn't immediately cut through. No, he glimpsed a pair of blazing red eyes as the blade-where had they found that?!-clawed apart one of his petals before he managed to wriggle away. Not missing a beat, the grinning child bounded off a wall and shot straight at Naruto like a human bullet. The blond merely arched an eyebrow and tossed Flowey into the air, boot and all, heedless of the plant's shriek.

"What are you dooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?!"

"Saving your ass!" His captor snapped. "This timeline's no good...is what you thought I would say!"

She flew at him like a demon, trying to cut him into a bloody red mess. He didn't even try to dodge; he just stoically spread his arms and accept all her rage, all her hate, all her sorrow. And she cut him to pieces for it. At least she tried to. For all her speed and insanity, she couldn't move him. Though she spat and swore, he never once tried to attack. He simply refused. Finally, his attacker rant out of steam; finally, they were forced to fall short and suck in a ragged breath. And a benevolent blond brow rose.

"That it?"

The possessed child swore.

...die. Diediedie! JUST DIE ALREADY!"

Taking the knife full in the chest, the blond barely batted an eyelash. The fallen human must've expected that to finish them off; because they were wholly unprepared as a booted foot cannoned into their chest and flung them back into the field of flowers. Then in one fluid movement he stepped forward and caught the crazed human by the wrist. Hefting them into the air with his right hand, he calmly raised the other to intercept a now-falling Flowey before he could dash himself against the stones below. A cheery smile greeted the put-out plant upon his return.

"See? You're safe and I've caught the kid. All's well that ends well."

"You almost killed me!"

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." the berserk blond beamed. "Now, then."

Glowing red eyes of a tortured soul met the pale blue orbs of a sealed god and neither wavered. Though she struggled and clawed at his hand like a wildcat-slashing with her fingernails as much as her knife-it was all for naught and to no avail. His hand remained locked around her wrist in a deathly vice; slowly but inexorably crushing the life from her arm. Even as she struggled, Naruto set the boot containing Flowey down and reached for her weapon.

"Now, now, Chara." He hummed. "You've been a bad girl."

Asriel's head snapped up. "Chara?!"

The knife fell.

In that brief moment of inattention the brunette made a decision of her own; opting to drop the weapon from her trapped fingers rather than have it taken away; this in turn allowed it to land seamlessly in her left palm with an audible smack. Before either monster or flower could react, she thrust her free arm froward and buried it deep into his stomach. A blond brow rose in mild surprise. Blood bubbled up against the polished steel.

"You'll have to do a little better than that."

...and Naruto exhaled in a long-suffering sigh.

"So. Did Frisk give you their soul this time around? Poor thing."

Chara didn't respond. Not with words. She stabbed him again, once again, his health didn't drop. Shrieking, she struck out again. And again. Again. Though his body bled, he didn't fall. Just the sight of it made Flowey shudder, but oh god, the sounds. With each stab, with ever slash, he simply healed from it all. And still she struck out at him, a mad blind creature seeking only pain and destruction. This...this couldn't be Chara. It looked like her, but didn't act like her. Not at all. Not in the least. And yet...!

"You know, this presents an opportunity." he mused as she continued to struggle. "I did want to have a chat with you; I just didn't think it would be this soon. So lets, just...

A strangely colored button labeled RESET appeared before Chara's outstretched hand.

"None of that!"

Scowling, he reached into her SOUL.

It appeared at his touch, a deep and vibrant red heart hanging before her chest. Her form wavered, static interposing itself over her very being.

"Stop!" Asriel cried! "Don't hurt-

Boop.

And then there were two.

Flowey froze, eyes bulging at the sight.

Asriel-Flowey!-couldn't make any sense of it; only a moment ago he'd been readying his vines to attack; whom, he knew not what. Only that he had to do something. Anything was better than standing around in a boot as what might have been his best friend was sacrificed upon the altar of this young man's madness. Then, quite suddenly, there wasn't any need for that. What little strength he'd managed to muster fell to the wayside apart as he struggled to make sense of this strange new sight before him.

In the blink of an eye everything had changed.

Two children-two humans!-stood before them, one in a painfully familiar green sweater and brown pants, the other clad in the same blue-with-a-stripe shirt from before. He could see their SOULS clear as day; but that couldn't be right. Each held a piece, a half of the greater whole. Each were missing an essential part of their being, yet there they stood. And the first one...the first one...the sight of her turned Asriel's mind blank. That was...it looked like...?!

One was silent.

One stood on the verge of tears.

Naruto knelt before the latter. "Hey there, kiddo. What's your name?"

Squinted eyes rose to meet his with Determination, but their voice was tiny, almost frail by comparison. She had to physically look up to see him, even as he crouched down beside her.

...Frisk."

His hand settled on her head, gently mussing her hair. She didn't resist. On the contrary. Tiny dark hands clutched at his, dwarfed by his own palms.

"Did you have a bad time, Frisk?"

Her head bobbed.

"Wanna hug?"

She burst into tears and buried her head in his jacket.

"I killed them! I killed...so many people...!"

Flowey half-expected his captor to start sputtering and swearing on the spot; he'd thought he would display an intense aversion to be touched without his permission. But rather than panic, the godling merely stiffened for a moment. After an unbelievably awkward sigh he patted her back. Frisk only clung to him all the more, as though she would fall apart any moment. Flowey couldn't experience emotion, not really...but he didn't relish this sight as he once thought he might have. He'd unwittingly made a kid cry. That...kinda hurt.

"There, there, that's all in the past now, eh?" Naruto continued to soothe. "I severed the link to the player here. You won't be controlled anymore. Don't worry about it...

"B-B-But!" she hiccuped. "Toriel...Papryus...Undyne...Sans...

"Are all alive, little miss. Now just breathe."

The...other child was another matter.

She wouldn't look at Asriel. When he tried to catch her gaze she only clutched at her right arm-still holding the knife-and turned away. When Naruto took it from her, she didn't protest. Didn't even deign to move her arm as he painstakingly pried it from her frozen fingers. She just hung her head, dark bangs shading her crimson eyes from view. Almost as if she were ashamed to be standing here. Yet despite that, she couldn't stop looking at her pale hands, flexing her fingers, giggling softly to herself.

Was this real...?

"I'm alive?" Hesitantly-almost hopefully-she looked right past him. "What did you do?"

"Split your soul." Naruto's sang back as his head popped over Frisk's shoulder, causing the smaller girl to gasp. "You each possess a half of the same soul. It'll do until I can recreate your own."

...why?" she wrinkled her nose at him.

"Because I'm the business of saving people." came the growl. "You should be grateful. If I wasn't-

The little murderer-though she did appear guilty-only glowered at him. "What, I'd be dead where I stand?"

"Worse, kiddo." his free arm stretched-actually stretched!-out to drag her into the hug. "Trust me, you don't wanna know."

"Gah?!" the first fallen human squeaked. "What the hell are you doing?! Let go of me you sicko! I don't want to BE hugged! Lemme go!"

Naruto steadfastly ignored her, but only for the merest of moments. "And don't think for a second that we've forgotten about you down there, Asriel."

Chara's head snapped back and forth like a puppet from its strings. For a moment, just a moment, she looked alive again. Hope and fear-so much fear-flitted across her face, only to vanish when she saw him. She looked right through him, didn't see him-and oh, how that burned-as if he didn't even exist. When she finally spoke, her voice had fallen back into that dull, dead monotone once more.

"That's not Asriel."

"He's about to be." Naruto shot back. "Catch."

"Huh?"

Flowey had half an instant to balk before that "thing" appeared again. Even less to see Naruto carve off a piece of it. A piece he then flung at him. To be fair, the little flower wanted nothing to do with a SOUL like that, and so tried to skitter back. He even managed to duck it somehow, allowing the soul-shard to swoop harmlessly overhead. Too little, too late. He didn't want this SOUL!

Rather than fall short as any sane projectile would do, that tiny sliver of a god miraculously changed course.

Then it arced back at him like a mad boomerang and struck him dead in the face.

Oddly enough, it didn't hurt. Not at all. On the contrary!

It was being embraced by a warm pair of arms.

This felt...really nice.

Light flooded the core of his being in a heady rush and the flower fell, catching himself with his hands. Wait. Hands? He hadn't had those in...forever. Yet when he looked down, rather than the ugly green vines he'd come to accept as part of his being, he found a pair of fuzzy paws awaiting him. That shouldn't be possible. He'd forgotten what it was like to have fingers. Arms. Legs. Incredulous, he tried to jolt upright, but everything, it was still too new, too bright, and with this brightness came emotions, a rush of feelings he hadn't experienced in an age.

As the strange sensation persisted, he saw a hand stretch out to him.

"Welcome back, your majesty."

By the time the haze cleared, Asriel found he recognized the owner. They looked...well, taller than he remembered.

"I don't understand," he croaked, tears welling up in his eyes. "You're just a kid."

That iron staff swatted him again, but gently this time around.

"I'm no more a kid than you are a flower, goat boy." once more, that hand stretched out to him imploring. "Now, c'mon. Lets take you home."

"Yeah, c'mon!" a familiar voice chimed. "We don't have all day, crybaby."

"Eh? Oh."

At some point during his transformation, Chara and Frisk had seen fit to scale Mt. Naruto. Now they were riding on the belligerent blond with ease, one to each shoulder, with more than enough room to spare. Huh. Was it just him or did Naruto seem...taller somehow? Or was it just his imagination? Surely he was imagining things. If wasn't as if the godling had grown a bit just to accommodate them. This all felt so surreal. Yeah, that must be it. This was a dream. He'd wake up from it any moment now. Might as well enjoy it while he could. How deluded of him. Which brought another inquiry to the newly reawakened mind of Asriel Dreemur.

"Chara, weren't you trying to kill this guy a minute ago?"

His best friend arched an eyebrow.

Red eyes rolled. "This idiot-

"Hey!"

-gave me a soul and a body. Why kill him? I'd just lose it all."

"That and chocolate." Naruto chimed. "Here."

"Wait, wha-mmph?!"

"You coming or not?!" she growled around a mouthful of choco goodness. "We don't have all day."

Did he dare? He'd done so many horrible things as Flowey. Terrible, horrible things that he should have no business remembering...yet he did. Naruto had done something to him; worse, that tiny piece of a soul he'd been granted had opened doors of its own leading to some truly traumatizing memories of their own. It...hurt. Knowing what he'd done. Having emotions again. Did he truly deserve this second chance? Was he really restored for good, or was this only temporary. He wanted to believe...yet? Doubt wrapped around his feet like an anchor, weighing him down and muddying the mire of his thoughts. Wouldn't he just be better off as-

Another bar of chocolate sailed down to smack in in the face. Baffled, he looked up.

His old friend lowered her arm. "Just...shut up and accept my goodwill."

Chara offered him her hand. "Then get on already, you dork."

Asriel hesitated a moment more.

Then he took her hand.

A/N: As ever, I own no quotes or references.

And yes, I'm quite aware of the "Alternate Universes"

To quote someone "Golly, that's a whole lotta something right there."

We might see a few of them later down the line depending on the reception this story gets.

Speaking of reception! Well, there you have it, Frisk and Chara are most certainly in this story. Happy ending, right?

WRONG.

Of course, there's still the matter of the big bad and the barrier, so we can't "quite" have our happy ending yet. Lets just say that the universe doesn't like having its peas mixed with his porridge. Ya can't just muck about with the Undertale universe...as many of us know, it tends to bite back when the rules are broken.

Needless to say, I read a certain comic that inspired me.

"Underplayer" by Sans Comic Tv on youtube.

I just went a step further.

Meaning we could easily see Pacifist or Genocide, perhaps even some horrid blend of the two...

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it. I do hope you like it.

Reviews are love, reviews are life, reviews keep me alive.

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

And here it is!

(Preview)

"SO ANIME IS REAL?!"

"Ach?! Inside voice, Undyne! INSIDE VOICE!"

"I'll be back tomorrow! Be good while I'm gone!" His smile darkened. "And remember. No GeNoCiDe."

The children squeaked at his expression.

His smile didn't waver.

"Good kids."

"Beware the man who talks in hands, eh?"

He was promptly flipped off.

...that makes sense."

"So. Howdy...Gaster. I've got a bone to pick with you."

The mysterious man's retort was as swift as it was vicious. "*&^%^$!"

Naruto's head evaporated in a blast of light and reappeared not a heartbeat after it vanished.

"Now that's just rude. You can't keep sending me away from the timelines forever you know. I'll keep coming back. Why not let the kiddos have their happy ending?"

The man who spoke in hands was silent for a long moment, as though he were honesty considering that weighty proposal. Then he raised a bony hand and snapped his fingers together.

And like static, Naruto began to disappear.

"Oi! Not th...it again!...ight back!"

R&R! =D