A/N: Hello everyone. Been a long time, and I know a few of you have messaged me about this, but I only just realized within the last week or so that notifications for PMs were not going out. And apparently, they still aren't, as I had PMs waiting for me this morning as well. So, I haven't completely dropped off the planet, but I haven't even had much of a chance to log on here lately, let alone have much time to write at all. Trying to squeeze in what I can between stuff I have going on right now, so hopefully there will be more updates soon for both this story and Cleanup in Produce. March is a busy month with three birthdays, including my own son's, and requests for handmade gifts have been made, and I want to make sure they are done on time. But I also miss writing and these characters of mine, so I'll work on my time management :) Thank you for your patience, and I hope to be posting regularly again soon. Take care!

Chapter 11

Over the next two days, I kept praying that everything would be okay by Friday, but I realized how naïve that thought had been when he texted me that afternoon.

Have a meeting at work. Can't make our match or dinner. I'm sorry.

While I couldn't imagine Edward lying to me about something like that—or anything, for that matter—there were a few seeds of doubt planted in my mind. It had taken more than a couple of days for us to get past an innocent comment, even if he hadn't completely avoided me like that before.

Clearly, it was bothering me more than I wanted to admit, since my dad and Sue seemed to be treading lightly around me when I visited the next day. No questions were asked, but I caught a few very concerned glances from my father before he would suddenly start talking about something trivial—which wasn't like him at all.

Days passed without seeing much of Edward at all, and I couldn't deny that I felt his absence even more than I did before when he wasn't around me—almost pathetically so. Yet, although I didn't want to press the matter too much and risk pushing him farther away, I began to feel that things might not ever be the same between us again. Then, what I felt was my worst nightmare at that point in my life appeared to materialize that following Wednesday.

It was a quiet evening with the exception of the expletives leaving my mouth at the Assassin's Creed game I was playing for the umpteenth time, because Arno wasn't cooperating. I almost didn't hear the soft, tentative knock on my door, but the sound startled me, as I hadn't been expecting anyone.

"Hey," I said in surprise when I opened it to find Edward standing there. "You okay?"

Edward nodded and then met my eyes, chuckling softly as he noted the concerned look on my face. "Yes, I'm fine. No catastrophe this time."

My breath released, and I felt my body relax. The last time he had knocked on my door so unexpectedly was when his ex had attempted to drain his bank account. "Oh, well, that's a relief. So, what's up? You wanna come in for some tea or something?"

"No, thank you. I just came to give you this," he stated, holding his hand out to me with a check in it.

"Why are you giving me this now? The first is still a few days away," I asked with a chuckle, gazing down at the rent payment I had in my hand.

"I won't be here then," Edward replied, and my eyes sharply returned to him. "I'll be in England."

I literally stumbled backward with the gust of breath that left me, causing him to gaze at me in confusion. My dad was absolutely right; the thought of him returning to England was painful, but the reality of it was almost crushing. So, I tried to collect myself as best as I could, taking a slow breath through my nose and attempted to chuckle in an effort to mask it all. "You realize this is already covered, right?"

Edward's brow only furrowed deeper. "How's that?"

"With your initial payment when you moved in. You don't owe me anything. There's just usually more notice, but I understand," I replied, keeping my eyes lowered as I held the check out to him and hoping that the tears I felt burning in my eyes would remain at bay.

"What?" For a moment, it was completely silent between us, but he also made no move to take the check back, and then he sighed. "Bella, may I come in?"

I wanted to shake my head as I felt my heart twisting in my chest, but I knew that would only raise more questions from him. So, I nodded and stepped back instead, allowing him inside, and then felt his hand on mine.

Yet, rather than taking the check back, he lowered my arm to my side. "I'd still like to have a place to live when I come back, if that's all right."

My eyes slowly raised to meet his again, and I swallowed hard. "So, you're not going back back?"

"No, of course not, and I would definitely give both you and my employer more notice if I was. Aside from being my landlord, you are more importantly, my friend. I wouldn't just suddenly up and leave without a proper goodbye," he said in that soothing tone of his that I both loved and loathed, especially in that moment when I didn't want to break down and cry with relief in front of him.

"You just haven't said anything about going back for a visit at all. Going to England is not exactly a spur of the moment road trip that only requires a little bit of gas money and snacks."

Edward chuckled at my statement and shook his head. "No, it's not, and normally, that's true, but I told you that my niece's christening was coming up, right?"

I thought back on our conversations of late, and in fact, he had mentioned that a few weeks back. "You did, just not that you were going."

"I wasn't sure I would be able to, but I got things sorted at work so my kids will be covered while I'm gone. So, I bought my ticket tonight and wanted to make sure all my bills were paid up before I leave Friday morning." Edward paused, gazing at me silently for a moment, before continuing. "What would make you think I was going back for good?"

I waved my arms out with a huff of frustration. As much as I didn't want to reveal how much I'd actually thought about the very thing he was asking me, I felt as if I might burst if I didn't. "There are any number of reasons that you would suddenly want to go back home, Edward. Family. Work. Just wanting to. Having a green card doesn't necessarily bind you to this country for any given time. You could leave tomorrow and never come back."

"That is true, and I do miss my family, obviously, but that hasn't changed at any point in the last four years. I love my job, and I enjoy living here. If going back to England permanently was something I wanted at this point in my life, I wouldn't have bothered applying for my green card when my time was up on the work visa," Edward explained calmly, though his body language told a different story. His posture was somewhat stiff, and he suddenly could not seem to meet my eyes.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that it was only half past seven, and even on weeknights, he rarely went to bed before nine. So, I reached for his arm and guided him to the couch to sit down, powering down my television and turning to face him. "Edward, I know how powerful homesickness can be. I used to think about moving back to Forks all the time. I miss my dad and Sue. I miss the quiet. I don't want to right now, but that's not to say it doesn't cross my mind occasionally."

"Yeah, I do think about it once in a while, and maybe someday far in the future, I will go back for good, but that's definitely not now," Edward replied, his voice a bit tense, and then he sighed and swallowed hard. "Why is this such a worry for you? As previously stated, I would give you more than a couple days' notice if I were planning to leave. I wouldn't leave you high and dry."

"I don't care about losing a tenant or rental income!" I exclaimed, my voice raising an octave or two, and then pressed my lips together tightly to collect myself before continuing. "I care about you, Edward, and things have already been different between us lately, even when you weren't completely avoiding me as you have since what happened last week. You can't deny that."

"No, I can't," Edward replied, leaning forward slightly. At first, I was afraid that he was standing up to leave, but instead, he simply rested his elbows on his knees. "Look, dropping off the rent check was more of an excuse to stop by tonight than the reason. I couldn't leave for England with things as they are at the moment, and not without at least apologizing."

"Apologizing," I repeated in a whisper, feeling myself deflate even more as I shifted to settle into the couch beside him, thrusting my head back against the cushion. I could feel his gaze on me, but mine wouldn't leave the ceiling as I fought back tears. "So, you regret it."

"Kissing you? Decidedly not," Edward responded, and I felt as if my neck should have snapped with the force of my head spinning toward him. Yet, it seemed to be his turn to be unable to meet my eyes. "Doing so in such a fashion, absolutely."

I was struck speechless for a moment, attempting several times to speak, only to be left with my mouth hanging open more than once. My mind was spinning so fast, I felt dizzy while still seated. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Bella, as I said, you are my landlord, and more importantly, my friend," Edward began, finally turning his head toward me, and his eyes met mine, while I tried to hide the sting I was feeling from his words. "Not that I find anything necessarily wrong with having an attraction to either, but I acted on impulse rather than logic. You'd just made me a lovely dinner, and I ruined it by not thinking with my head. I'm very sorry I kissed you so brashly, without invite. I have no excuse for my behavior."

"Are you kidding me?" I blurted out in return, feeling my eyes widen, and even in my own mind, I could imagine I looked pretty comical. "That's why you've been avoiding me? Because you think I'm offended or something? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to recall kissing you back. I am not the kind of woman to kiss someone simply because they are kissing me. I would have smacked you if it was unwelcome, friend or not."

Edward gave an uneasy chuckle, his gaze falling to his folded hands. "I have absolutely no doubt about that, if your racquetballs aimed at various uncomfortable parts of my body are any indication."

Despite the hint of humor in his voice, I couldn't help but wince slightly. Granted, it would have been difficult for him to have not noticed, with as many times as he'd had to duck and dodge them with increasing frequency over the past few months, but it was still embarrassing. I mumbled another soft apology and heard a quiet laugh escape him, but when I finally looked at him again, the amusement had faded from his eyes. "You mean a lot to me, Bella, and I hate the thought that you might even be slightly angry with me. I'm sorry I've made things so awkward and frustrating between us, just because I've had a lot on my mind lately. There's nothing for you to apologize for."

"We're both guilty of that. And I'm not angry at you at all. I just miss you. You're right next door, and I miss you. Hell, even just across the table some nights, it seems like there's already an ocean between us." I groaned, thrusting my head back against the couch again. "I hate this feeling, but I don't know how to fix it, either."

"I miss you, too," Edward mumbled so softly that I barely caught it, and my gaze returned to him to find his fixed on the floor at his feet. "I can't lie to you and say what's transpired between us has nothing to do with my decision to visit home. Last minute flights to England aren't exactly pocket change, after all. But I'm not running away, either. I just need to clear my head a bit is all. We will talk more when I get back."

My head bobbed slowly, but still kept my eyes focused on the ceiling. "How long will you be gone?"

"Two weeks," Edward murmured softly, and finally, our gazes met again at the same instant.

"That's a lot of head clearing," I replied with a small chuckle, which he echoed as he nodded. "Can I still at least text you? Friday nights are gonna be a tad dull around here, you know."

Edward tilted his head with a sigh, and then shifted in his seat to face me and gently grazed my cheek with his fingertips. "Of course, you can text me, Bella. Or call, or Facetime…"

"You at least need an iPhone or some sort of Apple product for that, Edward," I retorted with a roll of my eyes, knowing damn well he still had an Android that was at least five years old. "Besides, I have no idea how you even read texts through that giant spiderweb on your screen. I'd look like an old, evil Disney witch with skin like the Sahara through that."

At last, Edward released a full-bodied laugh for the first time, and oh, how I had missed that sound over the last week. So, I didn't feel my usual annoyance with his amusement at one of my many quirks. I was one of those people that had to seriously fight the urge to buy a new phone the instant I found even a surface scratch on it…or at least, replace the screen protector. Which was something Edward had noticed and repeatedly pointed out that was always present—like I said, quirk. "I am aware of that fact. My brother actually gifted me an iPad last Christmas, since according to him, I am still living in the stone age of technology."

"Well, he's not wrong," I replied with a half-smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. "I'm actually surprised this is the first I've heard of this. It's been six whole months, and not one single complaint about an Apple product invading your residence? I'm impressed."

Yeah, Edward was not a fan of Apple products, or newer technology in general. If it were up to him, he'd probably still be content with a flip phone, and even then, only for work and calls to family.

"Actually, he did get an earful when it arrived in the post. In fact, it's still in the shipping box in my closet," Edward said, chuckling softly, and I did my best to return the gesture, but failed.

Despite my own attempts at humor, my heart was aching. If I had missed him as much as I had over the past week with him right next door, the next two weeks with an entire continent and ocean between us was going to be damn near excruciating. Yet, the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel guilty for wanting to visit his family and meet his new niece.

My silence had lingered long enough to prompt a heavy sigh from him, and he shifted closer, tentatively reaching over to take my hand in his. "I care for you a great deal, Bella, and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. I just need a little time to sort out my head before we have any further discussion. But that, in no way, means that I want to cease all communication in the meantime."

"You did, though. It's been almost complete radio silence between us for an entire week," I huffed in frustration.

"Because I was afraid you were angry, not because I didn't want to talk to you," he countered, keeping a gentle, yet firm hold on my hand. "And I do not wish for you to think that this is something I have absolutely no interest in. I just want to make sure my head is where it needs to be before we have a conversation about progressing this further. There's a lot at stake here. Finding another place to live would be simple enough. You, however, are impossible to replace."

I nodded, trying to mask the shiver that ran through me with his words. He had interest, which was a relief; our kiss was not just an impulse of the moment. Yet, it would also be the first time he would be venturing into something like that since the end of a significantly long-term relationship—I had nothing to compare to that. I knew it wasn't her he needed to move past, as we had already discussed that quite some time beforehand, but I also knew that moving past violated trust was more difficult for some than others. And he was important enough to me to make him well worth the wait, so I threaded my fingers between his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "So are you."

Edward's responding smile was soft but enough to deepen the creases around his eyes, and he lifted our joined hands to kiss the back of mine. "I promise, we will talk more when I get back."

"Okay," I whispered in response, and for several moments, we sat there in silence, just gazing at each other. A part of me was begging for him to kiss me again, but the more sensible part of me knew that taking things one step at a time would probably be the most logical course of action—but damn, how I wanted him to. Talk first, kiss later, my mind chanted as we rose together when he mentioned having to work in the morning and headed toward the door, our hands still joined. "Look, I know you're going to be busy getting ready to leave between now and Friday, but will I at least see you before you go?"

Edward gave my hand a gentle tug, pulling me toward him and into his arms, and embraced me warmly. "Of course. I'll stop by tomorrow after work for a bit, if you'd like. I have an early flight Friday, so I will probably do my sleeping on the plane anyway."

With my cheek pressed against his chest, I could hear his heart thrumming beside my ear, and I gave a brisk nod as I held him a little tighter for a moment. When I felt his hands beginning to rub up and down my back, it was the reminder I needed that he did actually need sleep that night. I released my hold and stepped back from him, and he turned toward the door. "Hey, dig out that iPad before you go to bed and charge it, and we can get it all set up tomorrow. Before long, you'll be as addicted as every other Apple nerd in this world."

Edward laughed and shook his head. "I highly doubt that, Bella."

"You also thought video games were a waste of time and money in the not so distant past," I retorted with an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"Touché. Although, I do still think they are a bit overpriced in some cases." We shared a laugh, and then he nodded. "I'll make sure it's charged tonight. Good night."

"Night," I replied as he closed the door behind him, and I leaned my forehead against it. Progress had definitely been made, but we still had a long road ahead of us, that was for certain.