I OWN NOTHING

Context: She-Ra reboot has grown on me. I will stand by my statement that it's beyond flawed, but there's a catharsis in watching something like that.

X-X-X-X-X

Villages of the Whispering Woods were part of its beauty with the way the people coexisted with nature, until a fateful day broken by fearful cries, "Papa! Papa!" A little deer girl ran to her father, hugging his waist. Being residents of the Whispering Woods, they looked like humanoid deer. The child was shielded by her dad when Horde Soldiers arrived to inspect the village, many of the villagers retreating or hiding.

A small group of armored, armed and arrogant soldiers walked into the village, following their leader, "Such lovely fruit..." cackled a seven-foot-tall lizard humanoid without his helmet. He lifted a purple fruit he picked and crushed it over his mouth, letting its sweet juice drip into his opened, thirsty maw, "Yes, perfect for Lord Hordak." He smirked and tossed the dried fruit aside.

"We pose no threat, take what you will." The father said, keeping his daughter close.

"That's the plan..." the lizard humanoid snapped his fingers, "You heard him."

Every soldier smirked under their helmets as they turned to each other, and proceeded to destroy the place, "What are you-" the father snapped as stores were blasted, stands were kicked down, and tanks brought down anything in the army's way. His sentence was cut short when his daughter was picked by the leading soldier, "W-wait, let her go!" he pleaded as his child kicked the air to break free.

"Didn't you say to take what we wanted?" the soldier asked mockingly, "I'm in a whimsical mood, so I want to see what she has to offer. Who knows? Perhaps she'll love being a part of the Horde." Then he looked at the stand behind the man and a malicious idea crept into his head, "Or she could be a great cook if that food of yours is as good as it smells."

Humiliation boiled the man's blood, but he swallowed his pride for his daughter, "I shall do my best." The lizard man smirked.

"Good answer." Thus, as the soldiers rested from messing the village, the father and daughter worked hard to serve them a meal fit for a king. Their patrons laughed and joked as they waited, "Come on, is that as fast as you can go, kid!?" their leader asked the girl holding jars with the soldiers' drinks.

"Sorry, sorry..." she cried and did her best not to spill anything.

"Stand still..." said a soldier, having forced a villager to hold a jar in one hand before he blasted it clean off, "Jackpot! Told ya I was a good shot, nothing to worry your horned head about!" then he frowned when a terrified villager dropped to his knees, "Hey, shouldn't you be glad I'm such a great marksman!?"

"Y-yes, you're right, sir!" the villager sobbed quickly, not wanting to irk the man.

"Told you guys I knew where to go!" their leader cheered, "Of course, I-"

His words were cut off by two things: a jar thrown into his head which collapsed on impact and a loud shout from one of the deer people, "Out of my village, you vile scum!" it was an old man with a long, thin beard, a cane he held in both hands, and worn clothes. He looked fragile in his green vest and slacks but was prouder than any of the other villagers. And yet, he was far smaller than the soldier standing at 5'2".

The lizard man bared his teeth into a forced but furious grin and approached the offender, "Who do we have here?" he asked as juice dripped down his chin and pieces of clay clung to it, "A walking corpse." With a grin, he tried to punch the man, only to have his hand swatted aside by the cane. "Grr! You little-" and then he was swatted on the head with it.

"I'm no mere-gack!" the elder's proud moment ended when the larger male choked him, lifting him off the ground.

"You're dead sooner than expected, old man." The soldier growled, rearing back a fist to crush the man's skull.

Suddenly, the tides changed, "What the Hell!?" asked a soldier.

Everyone turned to see a twelve years old blond kid wolfing down the food meant for the invaders, "Man, I'm saved!" he cheered with a relieved smile, crying of joy as he grabbed a handful of the meal to shove it down his gullet, repeating the process half of a second later, "Mmm, so sweet..." he moaned and kept eating, tears rolling down from deep blue eyes and into whiskered cheeks.

Upon closer inspection, he looked like he needed the food, "What is he...?" asked the owner's daughter, "Is he a... monster?" she asked in shock as the boy cleaned the plates with ease. He wore a ragged, torn and mostly useless orange jumpsuit, was covered in dirt, and had the obvious signs of malnourishment from days without eating or drinking.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing!?" one of the soldiers asked the boy whose cheeks were stuffed like a squirrel's.

"Ah hun... I was hungry!" the child paused to gulp and then replied, grabbing one of the jars and emptying it in a quick series of gulps, "Oh man, I needed that!"

"That's my food!" the leader exclaimed, standing right in front of the kid.

"Really...?" the kid asked, then put another mouthful in, "Shorry, Al may..." he meant to say he'd pay but couldn't stop eating.

"Why you little!" the lizard man snapped and punched the kid, only to be shocked when his punch was caught by the boy using both hands. It was obvious who had the size and weight advantage, thus why the kid had to stand up and keep his hands up to push back, but the large soldier's fist remained stuck in place.

"Alright, now that I got some energy back..." the kid smirked and flipped in the air, kicking the leader so hard on the face he was sent rolling backwards three times! "Whew, I am feeling better than ever!" he cheered as he got into a fighting stance, "Hey, deer man!" he told the owner of the stand, who blinked in confusion and pointed at his face, "Consider this pay for the meal, hope you can get another round ready!"

"Arrogant brat! Get him!" the other soldiers took aim and fired red plasma blasts.

"Whoa!" the kid rolled to the side, "What're those-" he cut himself off and jumped over another shot, "Less talk, more action." He told himself and dashed side to side, moving in a zigzag pattern to get closer to the Horde men and dodge every shot as he did so.

"How's this kid so fast!?" one asked and found the boy right in front of him with a smirk and a fist ready.

"I'm just that good!" he taunted the others while he delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked off the soldier's helmet and sent them flying into another two, "Who's next!?" he exclaimed without losing his grin, clenching his fists without a lick of fear in him.

"You are!" shouted the leader, riding the tank, "Fire!" The cannon blasted a powerful energy shot which made the ground the kid stood on burst into a tower of smoke, "Heh, that was annoying, but once again, no one can stand up to-" his words died in his throat from horror when noticing a shadow over him. Looking up he just knew who it belonged to, "You can fly!?"

"No, I jump good!" the blond exclaimed and slammed his heel on the soldier's head, which in turn smashed his face inside the tank. A series of yelps was heard from within as the cannon turned, aiming right at the other Horde soldiers. None of the armored warriors could prepare themselves for the incoming shot which blasted them into the air.

"Screw this, retreat!" one of them yelled, turning around.

Those still conscious took off as well, "You damn..." the leader exclaimed as he climbed out, only to see his soldiers gone and the kid atop the cannon cracking his knuckles.

"Finish that sentence, I dare you." He smirked mockingly, "Or you can run to your mommy."

"I-I won't forget this!" the lizard man shouted and ran off, following his men.

-Moments later-

"So, you're not from here, Naruto?" asked the deer girl as the boy ate at her father's stand while other villagers were busy rebuilding their own.

"Yup." He replied after finishing his last plate, the thirty-seventh, "I'm not sure how to react to a lot of this stuff...I don't think I've ever heard of deer people."

"Your story is certainly...unique." said the elder who faced the soldiers, "You were brought here through a strange light, woke up in a fortress and ended in the middle of the woods. Still, we have got no reason to doubt it. It's the first time I see a child with the strength of twenty men, let alone one so fast, strong and agile." He rubbed his magnificent beard in thought, "Say, would you care to stay?"

"I...I couldn't even say." The boy replied uneasily after finishing his latest drink, "I don't even know where here is."

"You're at Oakley, a village of the Whispering Woods." Said the cook, "And, unfortunately, I don't think there's any Leaf village around."

"And we could use your help with those Horde soldiers." Replied the elder, "I am one of the remaining warriors of this village, but, as you can see, age has caught up with me."

"Well, you had me when you mentioned those Horde guys..." Naruto rubbed his chin in thought, "I think...I saw that symbol of theirs when I woke up in that fortress, before another light flashed and... you know the rest." He let out a sigh and crossed his arms, "Maybe I could stay, I don't know." He ruffled his hair with a groan, "I've been in this forest for a week already."

"You've survived an entire week without food!?" the father asked in shock.

Crossing his arms, the kid tried to at least defend himself, "I...I assumed most of the stuff was poisonous with such bright colors." Naruto grumbled, "That's one of the few lessons I got stuck in my head when looking for free meals in my village... It really saved up some cash, but had I known all of this was good, I'd have fought those armored jerks the instant I saw them."

"I'm beginning to see how different our worlds must be." the elder pointed out, "Most people wouldn't doubt to eat most of these fruits, but all of them?"

"And he hasn't seen anyone like us, too." The deer girl said, "And we also have never heard of or seen anyone like you, Naruto."

"Ugh, what'd I get myself into this time?" the boy groaned and ruffled his hair with a hand, "I've most likely failed that damn test Mizuki-sensei planned for me, and... Wait, why do I even care? I'm going to be in a lot of trouble if old fart Sarutobi knows I lost that scroll." He winced at the idea of what could be a proper punishment in the old man's eyes.

"Boy, as far as I can tell, your problems were caused because of the Horde." The elder pointed out, "If they took you here, they must have had a plan involving you, and they will try to get you."

"I can take them!" the boy said confidently, but the elder shook his head.

"That's easier said than done." He sighed and stroked his beard, "What you faced was a run of the mill platoon. Far more hide in their fortress, and their lord, Hordak, is not to be trifled with."

"Do you expect me to just lie flat on my back and let him walk over my face?" the boy asked irritated.

"I'm afraid you wouldn't be the first to fall like that." The father cut in, "Hordak came long ago and built a very guarded base. Everything at his disposal here is turned into technology which we can't fight against. A war which involved our kingdom's most powerful men and women left us weak, only able to hide from him. He is certainly...unlike anything we've seen." His dreadful tone indicated the man was a threat.

"Well, so am I." the boy got up and punched his palm into his fist.

"Hold your horses, kid." The elder stopped him, tapping his chest with his cane, "First, you need to recover after what you went through. Secondly," he grinned, "you could use some pointers. Your technique's good and you know well how to move around in a fight. You're no brute. But that fighting style could improve."

Naruto crossed his arms as he pondered the elder deer man's words, "Hm, well, I wouldn't mind learning how to kick some ass if I'm staying here. And the guy sounds like he needs a fist to the face."

"Speaking of needs..." the daughter of the owner said, and held her nose, "You really need some new clothes."

Sniffing his armpits, Naruto groaned at his own scent and then pouted, "Hey, don't blame me, I only had a shower when it rained a couple of days ago."

"Let's go, kid, you certainly need some help." The elder said and guided the boy.

-2 years later, near the village-

"Listen up, morons! Lord Hordak wants to find whoever is making a mockery of us, and we are to deliver their head to him on a silver platter!" A large group of soldiers, an appropriate platoon with five tanks and dozens of men, marched from the Fright Zone to find their target in a routinely patrol. Little did they know they were being watched by him.

A 14-year-old 4'5" Naruto grinned, "Try all you want." He whispered, moving like a shadow as he leapt from tree to tree without making any noise. Once he found a proper target, he smirked and dropped down on them, "Sleep tight!" he whispered to the soldier after dropping on his back, punching the back of his head to knock him out.

"There he is!" exclaimed one of the soldiers, firing only to hit the ground, "What!? Where did he go!?"

Naruto smiled after he jumped to the top of a tree, using the leaves to keep himself out of view. "Alright, better earn my stay at the village!" A diet at the Whispering Woods made him leaner and his training strengthened his body. He also had a messy mop of longer spiky hair akin to the Fourth Hokage's. He heard some girls liked it that way. However, he had a Horde army to stop from getting near Oakley village.

"I found him!" said a soldier once Naruto dropped down, letting himself get spotted. He wore a white robe with a single sleeve for his left arm, a red sash, an orange t-shirt, and black knee-length pants. For agility and stealth, he wore black slipper shoes, which were difficult to get living among people with hooves instead of feet.

"Finding is the easy part!" he said and gripped his weapon. On his left hip, secured in his sash, rested a trusty weapon the deer villagers made for him: a 3 and a half foot long single-edged straight sword. Its cylindrical black wooden handle and scabbard made it look like a cheap baton when sheathed. Unsheathing it, he held it singlehandedly with a smirk and dared the soldiers to go after him with a hand motion.

"Die!" shouted one of the soldiers swinging one of their stun batons as Naruto took a stance. Both hands gripped the sword with the handle at his right and on his heart's level. The tip was parallel to the ground and aimed forward. He spread both legs for better footing and grinned. It was a standard, defensive stance, but he had a lot of practice.

Once the soldier was close enough, Naruto swung with monstrous strength, snapping the baton in two, "Grit your teeth!" he shouted and swung the blade quickly twice, splitting the remains of the baton into tiny pieces! And, to end things off, he brought up a foot and kicked the Horde soldier on the face, cracking the helmet and sending him flying five yards into a tree.

"Kill him!" shouted one of the men as the tank took aim. Naruto grinned and ran at the tank, letting it fire at him with a resounding explosion!

A nervous gunner poked his head out of the tank, "Did we get him?" he asked nervously.

Everyone waited for the smoke to clear out...and cheered when seeing the blond face down on the ground, looking dead tired, "YES! Finally, the pest is gone!" they cried joyously and pumped up their guns and fists with some firing into the air. "Come on, capture him! We are to bring Lord Hordak his new prize!" the leader exclaimed in joy.

Feeling cocky, a soldier walked to the exhausted blond and stomped on his head, "Serves you right for thinking you could mess with us, huh?" he smeared his foot on the skull...and all color drained his face when a cloud of smoke burst around the body, "Oh crap! He's not dead!" he yelped and turned around to look for the blond.

And he made himself known, "Wow...did you guys really think I'd die that easy?" Naruto cockily asked atop the tank's cannon, swinging a leg in the air while the other's foot rested on the steel. He hefted his sword on a shoulder with a lazy but smug smile aimed at the gunner. "Got to say, I may suck at making clones, but that one has its uses to make you idiots think you got me."

"Shoot that arrogant bastard!" the leader screamed, nearly popping his vocal chords out of his mouth.

"Make this a fun warm up, guys!" Naruto taunted them and leapt off, but not before swinging his sword with such tremendous strength he tore the tank's cannon clean off!

A feminine voice startled him, "Hey! Sorry to tell you this, but you're making my job a little hard right now." he slowly rotated on the spot. Seeing an attractive muscular woman with short white hair in a jumpsuit with a cleavage window exposing her incredible melon-sized breasts. With her pale skin, black lipstick and broad form she was an Amazonian beauty. Were it not for the fact that she had had a body that possessed a spiky exoskeleton on her shoulders, scorpion claws for hands, and a red scorpion tail, he'd ponder flirting.

"Uh, hi." He said, a little weirded out by her friendly nature.

"Yeah, sorry for this. But I'm supposed to bring you in, and well, you're my target. Really sorry again." He was a bit put out by her sincere apologies, she really did sound like she didn't necessarily 'want' to fight but would because that's what she was supposed to do.

"So, uh, do you want to start?" he asked her, only to have to dodge a tail slap that nearly whacked him across the face.

She panicked, genuinely freaked, "SHOOT! S-sorry! That was a reflex! I thought you were ready! Yeah, uh! Let's start! Best of luck, right?" Naruto swung his blade to the side and rubbed his cheek, fearing a poison had been injected into his bloodstream. Luckily, he wasn't scratched. Unluckily, the scorpion woman had a mean right hook, "Start!"

"Whoa!" Naruto tilted his body to the side, watching how a single punch from her not only blew the air away, but it cracked a massive tree the size of a lighthouse!

Casually and somewhat concerned for him, she asked, "Hey, are you even ready?"

Naruto sweated a bit, 'She's crazy strong...I gotta keep my distance if I don't want my ribs tenderized.' He swung his blade against her arm, swatting it aside, "Sorry, Beefy Lady, it's lights out for you!" he cheered as he jumped up, the sword held high above his head to be brought down on her head. It was promptly stopped by one of her arms, "What!?" he asked in shock.

Splitting steel in half was no problem for him, but the towering scorpion woman was absurdly sturdy, "My turn!" she jovially exclaimed and threw another punch.

"Oh damn!" the blond yelped and threw himself back, letting his back hit the ground before kicking upwards at her chest...only to have her tail wrap around his ankle, "Uh-oh." All color drained from his face as she gained a massive grin. It was so innocent and cheerful he didn't know whether to find it cute or scary.

"So long!" she didn't lose her enthusiasm as she flung him like a frisbee, making him spin like a human shuriken until his body hit a tree.

"Ugh...damn, you're tough..." he groaned and stabbed the ground to use his sword as a cane, "Gotta say...I didn't expect the Horde to have actual fighters. I usually make you guys go cry to that Hordak of yours with no effort." He grinned at the soldiers, directing his eyes to their captain approaching him.

"Yeah, that's why Lord Hordak's second in command called me." the scorpion lady said, a claw to her melon-sized breasts. "Shadow Weaver really wanted to see who was giving our troops so much trouble and got curious when hearing you had some tricks. That double of yours was cool."

"It's not my only trick...even if I still have trouble with it." He said with a smirk, reaching into his back, "I don't fight fair!" he pulled out three kunais and threw them.

However, the captain caught one, "Nice try." She actually complimented him before snapping the short blade with her claw, "Listen, we want to see what you can do, so try to be reasonable and join us. We got an amazing healthcare and the tech makes life so much easier."

"Didn't you hear me?" Naruto said with a smirk before throwing himself on the floor, "I never fight fair."

"Wh-" the captain's question stopped when hearing something soar through the air. Turning, she gasped when a large tree trunk swung her way, "Oh." She said in realization before her troops got knocked into the air. All of them crashed hard on the ground while other logs swung and nailed their tanks, completely destroying them. "Not so fast!" she exclaimed and punched one of the logs, breaking it in half!

"Not fast enough, though," Naruto grinned at her side. He was midair after jumping at her with his knees on his chest.

Those who saw their captain get drop-kicked on the ribs hard enough to fly into a tree knew what to do, "R-retreat!" one of the soldiers exclaimed after exiting his tank. Right one time, too, for the war vehicle blew up. All the while, the Amazonian could only grunt in pain.

"Wow, he's good..." the scorpion woman commented through clenched teeth as she got up.

"Force Captain Scorpia, what are your orders?" asked one of the soldiers who saluted her.

"Let's go back, we need someone with brains to keep up with him." She replied while holding her sides.

Seating himself on one of the destroyed tanks, Naruto hefted his sword on his shoulder and smirked, "Heh, good riddance, but that chick was really something." He pondered on what happened and then sighed, "I see I'm getting them really desperate if they sent her after me. Tch... I can't believe she nearly got me."

X-X-X-X-X

"Papa, do you think Naruto is still doing his rounds?" asked a tiny twelve-year-old. A deer girl with her blonde hair dun in a bun wearing a pink poncho and matching pants. Her light brown coat and cut nose made her adorable and caused an urge to pinch her cheeks in a certain whiskered hero of her village.

Her father, who had darker fur and a blue vest with white pants, shook his short-haired head of black locks, "Knowing him and given the fact it's lunch, he's most likely run into some of those soldiers again." He did know the boy could handle them, but he worried, "Let's hope he makes it back and keep a warm dish for him."

"Okay!" his daughter cheered and went to get the meal, but stumbled into a familiar elder, "Ah, Bacchus!"

"Still no sign of the boy?" asked the elder deer man with his cane in hand.

"So far, nothing." The father said as his daughter aided the elder to sit down.

The old man stroked his long beard, which grew longer over the years, "He took swordplay so seriously to make up for his lack of jutsus or whatever he called that magic of his."

"We've had this discussion already," the father asked. "Are we sure it's magic? He says it comes from himself, no Runestone or knowledge from sorcerers."

"And yet, he uses great power." The elder argued.

"Perhaps he's the first Prince, like a male Princess." The girl cheered.

"Hey, I am sure I'm no royalty, Ceres." The blond said and patted her head, "Hey old man Kukui, what's for lunch?"

"Is that any way to talk to the guy feeding you?" the cook groaned, arms crossed with an annoyed expression. Then he sniffed something, "Is that...smoke I smell from you?"

Naruto first smelled his clothing. "Man, you sure have a sharp nose, but yes, I used one of my traps on some tanks...I guess the smell got on me."

"What of your swordsmanship, is it still any good?" Bacchus asked as he was served a glass of water.

"Heh, I wouldn't be here if that weren't the case." Naruto boasted, sitting and leaning on a table, "Ceres, do you want to hear another great victory of Naruto Uzumaki, Hero of the Whispering Woods?" his attention was put on the girl who gained a starry-eyed expression. However, he had raised his voice loud enough to draw attention from passerby.

"Yes, please!" she pleaded.

"Hey! Naruto's back!" a boy exclaimed and ran to the food stand.

"Everyone, the hero has a story!" Naruto announced with a large smile. Soon, between bites, he started to tell the kids and a few adults of his latest battle with some modifications to make himself look cooler. He exaggerated but also used his transformation jutsu to play the role of his enemies. All in all, it was much better than being in his village.

"Was that scorpion lady really that tough?" a boy asked, mesmerized.

Naruto nodded firmly, a serious expression on his face just to make things more dramatic, "Her arms were tougher than steel. I could barely land a strike. However, she committed the same mistake as everyone. At the end of the battle I let her think she had me cornered, only to reveal one of my traps: The Swinging Logs of Doom! Without realizing it, all her tanks were gone, and I landed the finishing blow!"

"So cool..." a tiny girl shook in excitement.

"After that, they did the same as usual, run off with their tails between their legs." He ended with his arms crossed and a gigantic grin.

"Yeah, go Naruto!" a deer boy cheered as the other children did or applauded.

Soaking in the cheers of the people was something he never experienced at home and made his day much better. For a moment, it was like his dream came true. Not what he pictured, but it wasn't far off. In fact, it even felt more fulfilling. The residents of the Whispering Woods respected the shinobi swordsman who trained with them and became their defender since day one.

Out of the blue, a stern and commanding voice made everyone freeze. "I'm here to find a Naruto Uzumaki."

Said young warrior and hero turned his head, gaping as a single figure walked forward. A deer woman clad in starling silver armor, a winged helm that bore the image of an angel as a crest, held in both hands twin spears, each of which possessed a unique leaf-shaped blade at both ends. Flipping both into the air, the obvious elite knight let them drop down next to her body.

"I'm him." Naruto said, walking towards her, his blade clenched behind his back.

"I am here to request that you attend a formal meeting from Queen Angella. She wishes your company for an interview as to a 'proper' job." The way she said proper indicated two things. She understood that he had the love and respect of the people. And two. That she knew he was capable of far more than this humble life.

"What if I told you I felt my place was with them?" he asked her with a more determined tone. The Captain sighed and took off her helmet, revealing a very youthful face and a head of long blonde hair worn in a knotted pair of streams down her back.

"Then I would tell you…your place is to make this world peaceful. You can accomplish far greater things at the side of Queen Angella than by yourself as a small-time hero. You could inspire armies, troops, even spur Princesses into action. You hold far more than your share of potential young man. It is up to you to choose your fate, do not take this as anything more than the request of a woman who wishes only for the death, suffering, and fighting to end."

She placed her helmet back on and seemed to prepare to leave.

"Boy." Elder Bacchus told him softly, Naruto closing his eyes tight with a wince.

"Don't…please don't, gramps." He begged, but the elder kept going.

Looking up at the sky above, the wind picked up briefly with a soft whisper. "We have held you back for too long. The woman is right. Your destiny is far greater than this small village. Protecting us, or protecting the world. You can do both by fighting the Horde openly as a commander in Queen Angela's forces."

Naruto lowered his head with a soft sigh, "...dammit. I can't let anyone else cry out for help…not when I can do something about it."

The old man gave him a warm grin, "You are the hero we've asked for. Everything we begged of you, you accomplished without question. We cannot ask you anything more."

The boy nodded sadly, "Thanks for everything, old man." The Captain turned her head when he ran over to her, "I'm coming with."

She hid a smile as she walked, "You're a better man than we could've asked for. Princess Glimmer will be ecstatic that the Forest Gale will join the fight against the Horde."

"Forest Gale." Holding the sword on his hip tightly, Naruto grinned to himself. "I like the nickname."

X-X-X-X-X

And that's my rap!

I know some of you hate the show and I made no effort to hide my dislike toward its flaws, but I just find those flaws enjoyable now. Ever heard of people recommending Deadly Premonition despite it being a bad video game because it's awfully written and programmed by sheer lunacy? I think that's the place I am now with this rebooted series. I am a fan for perhaps the wrong reasons.

Swordslinger out!