"Lucifer, oh my God" She exclaimed as she saw the axe sticking out of his chest.
"Oh, well there's an oxymoron" He quipped as she tried to see how badly he was hurt. She pulled aside his suit to find the blade buried through the material and into the wood under his arm.
"It's just your jacket, you're okay" she said, barely believing what she was looking at, as she gripped the handle and yanked the axe out of the post.
"Hardly, that's the second suit I've ruined in as many day, but yes. Are you okay?" Her eyes searched his face as he looked at her with such an open expression. Everything was just too much, she needed clarity. Almost without thought her arm came up and pressed the blade of the axe against his exposed chest. He didn't move, he didn't even react as she put her other hand on the other end to steady her grip. His eyes were locked solely on her face.
"If I were to push this into your chest, it would kill you?" She asked and he looked her straight in the eyes.
"Yes" No bravado or sarcastic comment.
"Because I'm close to you?" She continued to look at him, searching for something, anything, that would help her understand.
"Yes" A single word, impossible to misinterpret
"But you jumped in front of it anyway?" She could feel tears begin to form in her eyes. This immortal being, this creature from history had been willing to sacrifice himself for her?
"Yes, and I would do it again, and again. Don't you know that Detective?" He asked earnestly. She couldn't answer him. She couldn't make up her mind whether to shake her head or nod given all the turmoil going on in her brain. She pulled the axe back and gasped as she saw the think line of red where the blade had cut into his chest. He looked down as she tried to wipe it with her hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! She murmured and he smiled slightly.
"It's fine" he assured her but she shook her head.
"No, It's not." She said as she took a step away from him. "I hurt you. I almost…" the axe fell from her numb fingers as the full realisation of what she had nearly done to him hit her. She brought her hands up to cover her mouth
"Detective?"
"I just never should have trusted him"
" 'Him' who?" Lucifer demanded in a tone she had only previously heard him use on their most dangerous suspects. It caused her physical pain to have it directed at her but she forced herself to answer him.
"Father Kinley. He…he found me in Rome and obviously I shouldn't have confided in him but at the time it seemed like he understood what I was going through. I was so alone I just…I needed someone to talk to about everything I'd seen and he said he believed me. Then he had all these books and evidence and he said…" She didn't want to say the words out loud. As if by not saying them it would somehow mean she hadn't gone along with it, however briefly. Yet Lucifer had always told her the truth, even in the face of her constant disbelief, so didn't she owe him the same? "He said it would be better for everyone if you were back in Hell" He rocked on his heels at her words and she could see the pain that flickered through his eyes.
"How could you do that to me? To me!" He shouted
"I couldn't, I didn't! I mean, I was going to but then when I saw you…I really saw you and I realised everything he'd told me... even if you were that thing from the books you're not anymore. What I told you was the truth, you're not the Devil….not to me" She looked at him, silently implored him to believe her. His face was cold and he hadn't moved since she'd stepped back from him. "Please, I just want to get passed this. Can we get passed this?" She asked desperately. He took a single step towards her than and she could see the tension in his body as he pulled himself up to his full height.
"Would you ever betray me again?" She let out a breath as if he had punched her when he used the word 'betray' but she knew she deserved it. She took a deep breath.
"Lucifer, I couldn't even do it once" She waved her hands to indicate their current situation. He huffed which gave her hope but his face didn't soften. Instead he tilted his head towards her.
"Would you though?" he asked and she felt her chest constrict at the thought of hurting him. The idea of what she had almost done to him filled her with disgust and she realised it always had but she had allowed someone to twist her feeling against her better judgement. Yes, she had been scared but that was no excuse. Kinley was a stranger, she knew Lucifer. How could she have even considered doing that the him? Would she ever even contemplate doing it for real?
"No" She whispered, "I could never hurt you like that. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me" she begged. He remained still and she could no longer stop her tears from falling freely. His brown eyes never left her face and she felt as if they were burrowing into her brain. Was that what his mojo felt like? She wondered but the thought was distant as her emotions twisted. Her shoulders shook as she tried to cry quietly. Lucifer still only looked at her
It was too late, she realised and looked at the ground in defeat. She had been scared and stupid and now he hated her. How could he not? She had tried to trap him, to take away his free will. Of course he couldn't forgive her for that, she couldn't even forgive herself. She didn't even deserve the right to ask. He would probably leave and she'd never see him again. A strangled sob escaped her as she imagined what her life would feel like without Lucifer in it. She's had a taste of it before when he'd left for Vegas but she hadn't felt for him then the way she did now. The idea of being without him, a void in her life stretching out for the rest of her days, hurt so much she started to shake.
A warmth on her chin startled her and she looked up to see Lucifer raising her face to look at him. His hand slid across her cheek until he cupped her face as he met her eyes.
"I do" he said with all the same gentleness as when she had held the axe to his chest just moments ago.
"What?" She tried to get her addled brain to comprehend his words but before she could he took another step closer. She could feel the heat of him as he lent down to press his forehead against hers.
"I do forgive you" He whispered. She closed her eyes and her whole body sagged at the wave of relief that flooded though her. Her knees went weak and she felt herself falling until a strong arm gripped around her waist. She cried into his shoulder and he did nothing more than stroke her hair for several minutes until she got herself back under control. She eventually opened her eyes and looked up as Lucifer held her against him. Their faces were inches apart. His eyes flickered briefly to her lips and she felt her heart start to hammer in her chest. All her swirling emotions made her dizzy as she slowly pushed herself up onto her toes and kissed him. It was a gentle pressing of lips, chaste but sincere, to express her relief and how much he truly meant to her. She pulled away quickly and stood back on her own two feet.
"Thank you" She croaked. His arm was still around her waist and she brought her hand up to finger the open front of his shirt. She pulled it closed over the cut on his chest.
"You're welcome" he replied, his voice regaining some of it's normal swagger as she continued to stroke him. The thin trickle of blood soaked through his shirt.
"I'm sorry" She said as she looked at the slowly expanding stain.
"Yes, you may have mentioned that" he said with a smirk and she managed a watery smile in return. He sighed and she felt some of the tension run out of him. "Now what?" he asked and she finally noticed his hand running soothing circles against her back. She lent into the caress which pulled her further away from his chest. His eyebrows went up in silent question as she wiped her eyes and considered their options.
"I need to see Kinley" she said reluctantly and he stiffened. She laid a hand on his arm before he pulled away from her and looked into his eyes. "I need to get him off your back or he's just going to come after you again"
"Don't worry Detective, I can handle a measly priest" he growled.
"Lucifer, no. This is my fault, let me fix it. Please" His eyes searched her face before he gave a tight smile.
"Alright, but I'm coming with you" he said but she shook her head.
"You can't. If he saw you…." Her hand once again stroked the blood stain on the front of his shirt. "I…I don't want to lose you" He sighed then and gave a smile she rarely saw, unguarded and genuine.
"Very well, Detective. But you need to call me instantly if anything goes wrong"
"I will, I promise. I'm sorry" she said and he gave a short laugh.
"You keep saying that" he pointed out and this time her smile felt more natural.
"I guess I do" She said, feeling a little more like her old self. She lent in and kissed him again, a little deeper this time, but still pulled away before she allowed herself to be caught up in the moment. "I'll text you when it's done" She said then broke away from him without another word. It was time to face the consequences of her actions and make them right.